


Cynophobia

by destieljunkie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha!Dean, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Angst, Destiel - Freeform, Eventual Sabriel, Explicit Sexual Content, Happy Ending, Knotting, M/M, Male Fertility, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Omega!Castiel, Pair-Bonding, Possessive Dean Winchester, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Slavery, Sub!Castiel, Submission, True Mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-01-16 18:10:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 66
Words: 225,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1357072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destieljunkie/pseuds/destieljunkie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is a rare omega. Not only does he resent his place in society but has spent a lifetime suppressing his true instincts. He takes a night job as an emergency services dispatcher so he can hide away from a world he has no place in.<br/>Over the years Castiel has developed an obsessive and very real phobia for everything that threatens his solitude. He has recurring nightmares that terrify him and fill his mind with images of being taken and claimed against his will.<br/>He only wants to be left alone and unmated but fate must have other plans for him when he unexpectedly meets someone who seems to want to help.<br/>He starts to suspect his protector is actually an alpha male who wants to claim him for life. Castiel is scared he might not be able to stop himself from falling in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

Banner by [shinzz1](http://shinzz1.tumblr.com/)

 

Castiel absently watched the patterns of rain as they streamed down the window, reflected moonlight against the dark of the night outside making the little paths of water look like sparkling rivers when they moved down the glass. He was lost deep in thought again. Something that was happening to him with increasing regularity. He supposed it was just one of the many consequences of spending so much time alone. Castiel was quickly startled back to the present by the tone that signalled another desperate caller. He reached forward and grabbed the edge of his desk to pull himself closer and quickly flicked the switch on the operating panel, trying hard to forget about the storm outside.

“911. What is your emergency?” He asked in a clear voice.

It all came so easily to him now. Castiel had been working the graveyard shift on emergency dispatch for close to six years. At first he took the job out of necessity but over time he actually came to like it. It served his purpose well. It was quiet there and nobody bothered him. He didn’t really even have to do much paperwork and more importantly, it was the one place he felt almost safe.

Working the night shift kept him locked away from everything that terrified him. He made sure he took his suppressants regularly and always got the early morning bus home after his shift when the rest of the world was asleep. He still got frightened and jittery when he knew he might be exposed and vulnerable. Fear and anxiety about what might happen to him if someone ever found out the truth about him had consumed every last part of confidence and trust he had left in humanity. The logical part of his mind knew he was being irrational and paranoid, but it didn’t seem to make the threat any less real. It just seemed safer to stay at work.

The nightmares still came though. Castiel lost count of how many times he had woken up shivering in the middle of the night with beads of sweat making his hair damp and dark images causing his breath to come hot and fast. Teeth and claws and pain.

Sometimes Castiel thought his heat was coming in again when the feeling came on him without warning and he could hardly breathe. The way his blood pumped through his veins with so much force, he could hear the beat in his own ears. He tried very hard to control it over the years with some degree of success, but had eventually come to the conclusion that avoidance was the best strategy. He would find a way to deal with the side effects of remaining unmated, but when his heat was so intense he almost gave up hope. It was hard to stay away from some of the men who walked past his window, tempting him in with the intoxicating scent of heady pheromones and rampant hormones.

Everything seemed so hazy and strange when he was ripe for breeding. His senses were heightened and he could almost smell the scent of prowling alphas through the air vents. There had been times he found it almost impossible to overcome. That had always passed but the fear remained. It was something he could never quite identify. There must have been something, some trigger in his past that had caused him to be so scared but he had consciously blocked it all out.

Maybe he was just different.

Castiel was no usual male omega. He didn’t want to be claimed or taken by anyone, and unlike many of his kind he hated the thought of being touched and dominated. The submission, the pain of being bitten for the first time. Even the very thought of it made him feel sick. Castiel knew he would have no control over any of these things if his secret was ever discovered and if he didn’t constantly fight his desires away. It was just in his nature.

Calls came in steadily for one service or another and he watched the blurry red and blue lights from the safety of the basement window. The sirens blared, echoes soon fading away into the distance after vehicles moved out of the parking lot and sped off down the dark empty streets to various destinations. Castiel was always mesmerized by the way the lights pulsed in the darkness before they disappeared. It was hypnotic somehow, helping him to focus during the long lonely nights he spent there alone. The only problem with that was it gave him time to think about his life and the rules of the society he was in. He was an omega with a place.

A place he just didn’t fit in.

Early morning light started to creep over the horizon and Castiel rubbed his eyes to chase away the sleep he desperately wanted to take. He would have to go back to his apartment soon. He rarely used it, but he had to get a fresh change of clothes and pick up his mail. He waited until the last moment before grabbing his jacket and rushing up the stairs. He passed one of his colleagues on the way up when she arrived for the next shift. He knew her name was Jess from the name tag she wore but Castiel didn’t speak to her much. He was happy just to exchange a few pleasantries with her when they met between shifts. He never considered her to be any real threat. She knew he was usually reluctant to go outside at all.

Castiel was just one of those workplace oddities no one really knew much about and he never initiated conversations. He told himself it was better that way.

No questions, no assumptions.

As far as anyone at work knew, Castiel convinced them all he was just agoraphobic and no one ever questioned him about it. He doubted very much they would even believe he was anything other than a neurotic hypochondriac who preferred his own company. Social skills were overrated, anyway. Omegas were rare, and male omegas were almost unheard of. He wanted them all to remain blissfully oblivious to his condition. The fear he could be taken for some dark purpose was enough to make him keep his mouth shut. Castiel knew there was a murky side to the city at night. Beta females were common in the local clubs that lined the strip and an attractive female omega could fetch a good price if she was unlucky enough to fall prey to some of the immoral and ruthless profiteers who lived on the east side of the river. Junkies needing a fix would usually be prepared to do anything to raise enough money for another hit. All this Castiel knew and it terrified him. He would be a sexual target and no one would care. He shivered, holding on to the stair rail to steady himself.

“Where you off to in such a hurry?” Jess asked, looking confused.

He forced a friendly smile and tried to ease past her.

“Just home to sleep. I gotta pick up some stuff from the apartment.”

He must have started to look nervous almost immediately because she patted his arm gently and tilted her head with one of those pitying expressions Castiel seemed to experience on a regular basis.

“You want me to walk you to the stop?” She asked kindly. Castiel carefully removed his arm. He found the mere touch of another person discomforting and unsettling. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so he just sighed and wrapped his coat around his shoulders as a distraction.

“Thanks, but I’m sure I can make it across the sidewalk in one piece. Besides, I don’t want you to be late for your shift.”

“Sure?”

Blonde curls fell across her face when she searched his eyes.

“Sure.”

Castiel took a deep breath after she left and swallowed hard at the thought of going out into the fresh air and daylight. He made his way to the exit, pushing it open just a crack so he could assess any potential obstacles in his path to the bus stop. Castiel knew he was overreacting. Again. He could never go for medical advice because it would expose the truth about what he was, and he wasn't prepared to take that chance. It was still early and the streets were reasonably empty, so he made it home without anything more than an increased heart rate and some tension in the back of his neck.

Castiel quickly scanned the key card and let himself into the main entrance of the apartment building. He closed the door with his back and leaned against it for a few seconds until he felt calm again before heading over to collect his mail. The flap was hanging open with the amount of letters and parcels wedged carelessly into the slot. It must have been longer than he realized since he'd been back to the apartment. He pulled at the stack of papers and a few smaller ones came away in his hand. Castiel made a little noise of frustration when he caught his finger on the sharp edge at the top. He sucked it into his mouth and felt the unmistakable taste of blood on his tongue.

“Need some help?” A deep voice growled next to his ear. It sent shivers of fear and arousal shooting down his body. Castiel wondered how anyone could make that one simple question sound like liquid sex when it washed over his senses. He span around and almost stopped breathing when he was pinned fast by the brightest green eyes he had ever seen. “You okay?” The man asked, with a lop-sided smile. “Here, let me have a look at that.” He breathed against Castiel’s cheek, gently pulling the digit from slack lips and examining the cut. He licked his mouth in concentration before lapping at the drops with a slick tongue.

Castiel could only watch the movement with wide eyes, his breath coming in short gasps. He quickly backed up, his body slamming hard against the row of mailboxes with a thud. He pulled his finger away and dropped all the letters he was holding on the floor. Castiel quickly bent to pick them up and tried to avoid looking into those eyes again. His hands started to tremble when he fumbled for the edges of the envelopes.

“Hey, it’s okay. I don’t bite.” The man purred. He helped Castiel to retrieve the stack of letters, but there was something about the way he said it that caused Castiel to look back up in alarm. Those words brought all his fear back into focus, and even the distraction of such a handsome face couldn't overcome the panic that suddenly surged through him. His gaze was drawn to the white teeth that glinted in the morning light. For one passing moment Castiel thought he could see the sharp points of canines just underneath those full pink lips, but he might have been mistaken. There was something musky and potent about the scent he couldn’t quite place, but it was enough to send him running away and bypassing the lift that would take him up to the fourth floor. Castiel took the steps two at a time, desperately searching for his key before he even made it to the hallway.

As soon as Castiel got inside, he discarded his coat and poured himself a glass of water. He took several large gulps before hurriedly opening one of the crumpled packages. He pulled out a new batch of suppressants his brother had sent him. Castiel popped two out and quickly knocked them back. There was something dangerous about that man he had encountered downstairs. He had no idea who he was and would probably never see him again, but he made Castiel picture all sorts of shameful things he spent most of his life trying to avoid. He was just about to close all the blinds and go to sleep when he heard a distinctive rap on the door.

_Why couldn’t people just leave him alone?_

Castiel crept back across the room and peered through the spy hole.

It was _him._

Castiel cursed under his breath. His hand hovered over the chain, willing himself not to open the door. The man with green eyes stood back a little, looking up and down the dark corridor. Castiel thought it seemed like he might walk away but then he scanned the address on the front of one of the envelopes just to make sure he had the right apartment. The man leaned forward and knocked on the door again before he rocked back on his heels and waited. It was much more insistent this time and Castiel felt so torn. He bit anxiously at one of his fingernails while he watched the stranger pace up and down outside the door. There was just something about him that made Castiel reach for the lock. He slid the chain back and silently turned the key, opening the door just enough to be able to speak to him.

“Hello?” Castiel offered weakly. The man gave him a genuinely warm smile. He waggled a handful of letters through the gap.

“You dropped these. You seemed to be in a bit of a hurry, so I thought I'd deliver them for you.” Castiel couldn't speak. He was digging his fingers into the door and trying desperately not to show this demi-god of a man standing outside his apartment what an uptight and inhibited anti-social fuck he really was. “Can’t be too careful leaving your stuff lying around like that.” The man continued. He raised his eyebrows in an attempt to encourage Castiel to reply, but he didn't know what to say. “This place is full of freaks, man.” He gave Castiel a strange glance. “ _You_ should be more careful, is all.”

Castiel wondered what he could possibly mean by such a cryptic warning. He wasn’t in heat, and took his pills every day. There was no way that man could smell him. He was always very careful to hide himself away when he was close to his heat. A few sick days here and there had never been questioned.

“Okay, thank you.” Castiel whispered quietly, reaching one arm into the hallway so he could retrieve his mail. The man held out the envelopes but he didn’t release his hold on them. Castiel made a grab for the pile but was limited by the length of his arm, and the man deliberately held the letters just out of reach and began to study his face. The powerful intensity in that gaze was enough to make Castiel’s voice fail him again.

“I’m Dean, by the way. Dean Winchester. I just moved in down the hall with my brother. Room 69, if you wanted to know.” Castiel swallowed. There was no way that was a coincidence. Dean finally placed the stack of papers gently in his hand and moved in a bit more until he was temptingly close. Castiel took them, and Dean noticed how much his hand was shaking. “Listen.” Dean added, his voice moving through Castiel’s body like it was made to be inside him. Flowing through every vein like life blood and setting his very soul on fire. Dean pulled back when Castiel didn't respond. He was obviously reluctant to talk to him, and it didn't go unnoticed he hadn't told Dean his name in return. “You know where I am if you need anything, anything at all.” He added. His tone suddenly dropped low, almost seductive. “I know what you are.” Dean whispered softly, eyes darting down the corridor once more to make sure they were still alone. “Just so you know - you had me at hello.” He murmured. Castiel could feel the heat of Dean's breath caress his mouth. He stared back into those hypnotic eyes, and just for a fleeting moment Castiel thought about pulling the door open and dragging Dean inside. The fear soon overcame the desire, and he swallowed hard again. His heart was beating so fast, he thought Dean might actually be able to hear it.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what you're implying, but I can assure you - you're mistaken.” Castiel answered quickly, slamming the door hard before he even finished speaking. Dean Winchester was left standing alone in the hallway with a look of stunned disbelief on his face. Castiel locked it with trembling hands, and slumped back while he tried to calm his breathing.

_How could Dean possibly know what he was?_

He once heard a legend that sometimes true mates would always find each other, but he never believed those stories. Not really.

Castiel convinced himself everything would be okay while the anxiety began to escalate. He wouldn’t speak to Dean again and decided he would have to spend even less time at the apartment from now on. Castiel knew it had probably been a mistake coming back. When he finally got into bed, the terrible nightmares came worse than ever. He could almost sense the pain of being taken and knotted by force, but this time the claws and teeth had a name and piercing green eyes.

 Α ✫ Ω 


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel woke up suddenly, blinking hard while blurry senses returned to normal. He gradually realized dusk had settled outside which meant he must have slept most of the day away. He was flushed with perspiration and his heart was stammering an uneasy rhythm in his chest. Castiel pushed himself up straight in bed and swept the moist hair from his face.

All he could remember was a haunting image of this Dean Winchester person crowding into him and pressing his strong body up against him. He didn’t know for sure exactly what Dean was just yet, but Castiel had his suspicions and they definitely did _not_ make this man feel any less threatening. There was something wild behind his eyes when he looked at him that almost made Castiel feel like he was trapped. He pushed the disturbing images aside, and fumbled in the gloom for the lamp. He hurriedly switched it on when irrational panic began to rise up inside him again, angling the light so he could search all the dark corners of the room just to make sure it really had been a dream. Part of him half-expected to see a ravenous feral alpha leaping out of the shadows, ready to fill or devour him. It took him several long minutes to be able to breathe normally again. Once he had pacified his groundless fears, Castiel collapsed back on to the damp pillow and breathed out a deep sigh, playing an indistinct re-run of the unexpected meeting with his mysterious green-eyed neighbour in his head.

He was mumbling to himself as the memory resurfaced. Castiel tutted with frustration when he remembered the possessive way Dean had looked at him in that last moment just before he shut the door. Primitive, and hungry for him.

“Oh, come on.” Castiel muttered to himself with annoyance. “He wasn’t _that_ good-looking.” He continued to try and convince himself the erotic details of his dream had been completely beyond his control. They were just a subconscious reaction to the anxiety Dean had released in him with his shameless suggestions. The paranoia certainly wasn't helped by the implication Dean appeared to have been coming on to him. “Who even still uses that line anyway?” Castiel pushed back the covers. He was wide awake now, and so thirsty he knew he would find it impossible to go back to sleep without taking some more water. It was always a sign he was getting close. Intense dehydration was one of the first symptoms that always tortured him just before his heat set in. “Had me at hello.” He said disdainfully. “Idiot.”

Castiel padded through to the kitchen to fill up a glass pitcher. His small roomed apartment felt far too confining at times, but it did have some advantages. He turned on the tap and let the water run for a minute while he emptied out an ice tray and dropped a handful of cubes into the jug to save him having to get up again later to refill it. Dean’s presence had pushed him to make a decision. He would pack up a few personal belongings the next day and head back to the office. The further away from Dean Winchester he was, the better.

Castiel didn't appreciate being propositioned in a corridor, and he liked it even less when someone made assumptions about him. Dean must have just been spit-balling. There was no way he would have been able to detect his scent from that distance. It was well masked when he was on the right pills. He might have been close to coming into his mating cycle again, but Dean would have to possess canine super-powers to pick up on that. He was probably just some creep trying it on with the new boy from down the hall. For some reason that made Castiel even angrier.

_Who the hell was he to presume he would willingly submit to his advances and just bend over for him?_

Castiel was still cursing Dean’s well-defined jaw in his head when he climbed back into bed, setting the pitcher down carefully after he poured out another glass. The street outside was quiet. Despite Castiel’s familiar anxieties, he managed to calm down enough to lie back and get reasonably comfortable. All he could see when he closed his eyes was the perfect curve of Dean’s soft lips and it made him unbelievably thirsty again. He reached out for his glass in the dark and accidentally spilled some water over his bed because his hand was trembling so much. He was still trying to dab it away when he noticed the light from the hallway seemed to pulse in and out of brightness for a second. There was a grey shadow just visible along the bottom of the door and Castiel’s eyes grew wide with fear at the thought of someone loitering outside his apartment. He flexed his fingers in and out like he always did when he was nervous, waiting until he was certain whoever it was had started to move away down the hall.

He heard a small shuffling noise and a muffled curse when a single sheet of paper was passed through the narrow gap underneath his door. Castiel held his breath and stared at the line of light. He waited a few seconds before curiosity got the better of him. Castiel slipped out of bed and moved across the room as quietly as he could. He wanted to know just what it was exactly that was so important it had to be deposited under his door at that time of night. He reached down slowly and pulled the piece of paper through the gap. Castiel squinted hard and struggled to see it in the half-light. He started to unfold it, wondering who his mysterious messenger could have been and frowned at the paper while he read it, instinctively turning it over to see if there was anything on the other side. There was only one word written across the centre in black ink.

_Sorry._

Castiel pulled a face and even held it up to the lamp light to check if there was some kind of secret code written in invisible ink, but that one word was definitely all that was scrawled on it. He shook his head wearily and examined it again. Castiel placed both hands flat against the door so he could push himself up on his tiptoes to peer through the glass hole and see if anyone was still in the corridor. It was too dark to really see anything, and against his better judgement, he slowly slipped back the door chain. He was still clutching the scrap of paper in his hand when he eased his apartment door open. Castiel could feel his heart hammering against his ribs. He knew his blood was pumping hard around his body, suddenly finding himself caught in that intangible place somewhere between overwhelming fear and the need to know who had sent him such a strange note.

He inhaled a sharp gasp when his eyes focused on something hidden in the shadows. He could just make out the shape of a broad man leaning back against the opposite wall with his arms folded across his chest. The dim light from Castiel’s apartment streamed steadily out into the hallway and lit up his face. Castiel couldn’t breathe. All he could see was that crooked white smile and shining eyes. He reached blindly for something to hold on to, desperately trying to ignore the desire to surrender that now flooded through his veins. The look set on Dean Winchester's face while he watched Castiel fall to pieces in front of him was nothing short of predatory. Castiel struggled to form the words he wanted to say and gasped for breath. All the lustful intent quickly melted from Dean's face. He pushed away from the wall and held out one strong hand to steady him.

“Can’t… breathe... water.” Castiel managed to whisper through the tightness in his throat. Dean frowned and leaned in close. It wasn’t exactly the response he'd been hoping for. 

“Dude, are you alright?” Dean could see he was hyperventilating and let Castiel lean against him. He helped him stagger back in to his apartment. “What’s the matter? Did I scare you?” Dean asked softly, encouraging Castiel to calm down and try to take some more deep breaths.

“I’m sorry… I … get… panic attacks.” Castiel gasped. Dean quickly closed the door behind them. He seemed to be genuinely concerned, his eyebrows pulled tightly together while he watched Castiel struggle for air. After a few seconds, Castiel looked up again and seemed to suddenly realize for the first time he was alone in his apartment in the dark with a strange man. It intoxicated and terrified him all at the same time. He could feel the sweat starting to leak out of his pores, and Dean’s nostrils twitched a little wider but he said nothing. Dean quickly backed off. There was the faint shadow of something else that darted across his eyes but it was so fleeting Castiel missed it. When Dean spoke again his voice was much softer and deeper. Castiel was surprised at how much it calmed him.

“Hey, I’m sorry if I scared you. I just wanted to apologize for earlier, but it looks like I might have actually just made things worse.” His tousled head dipped low to try and catch Castiel’s gaze where he was now bent forward and resting both hands on his knees. He was still displaying some distinct signs of anxiety, but he seemed a little less distressed than he had done a few minutes before. Dean dared a gentle touch of his shoulder and Castiel immediately flinched and backed out of his reach. “I’m not gonna hurt you.” Dean said cautiously, raising both hands up in front of him as a demonstration of his promise. Castiel continued to eye him suspiciously from a safe distance. Eventually, he seemed to relax a bit and shrugged an apology.

“Sorry. I just - ” Castiel hesitated, searching Dean’s face for some sign he might actually be able to trust him. “I don’t like being touched.”

Both of Dean’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. He hadn’t expected that, and he wasn’t quite sure whether he found it tragic or endearing. Not being able to touch someone who looked as good as that was a capital crime.

“Okay.” Dean said quietly, watching Castiel closely. He was curled in on himself, his hands wound tightly together. The blue gaze was fixed on the floor at Dean’s feet and he looked every bit the submissive he had spent most of his life trying to deny. “Sorry.” Castiel wrapped his arms around his shivering body and backed up even more, rubbing his palms nervously down the sleeves of the t-shirt he put on for bed. He felt very vulnerable with so much of his pale skin exposed and hoped Dean would have the decency not to stare.

“What do you want, Dean?” Castiel asked, after a tense pause. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been alone with someone in such a confined space and was starting to feel warm and light-headed. The sensitive area on the back of his neck was prickling, and the soft skin of his arms was itching and making him defensive and impatient. It might have been a warning, but Castiel thought it could have been something else. Dean Winchester was starting to have an unnaturally profound effect on his body and Castiel was desperate to get him out of the apartment before his pills started to lose their potency. His brother had warned him against taking too many in one day so it had been several long hours since his last dose. He hadn’t been expecting visitors of any kind that evening and certainly not one that smelled so absolutely delicious. The strange sensation that poured all the way through him let Castiel know there was something threatening to slide between his thighs. Dean frowned again. He looked hurt. 

“I told you - I came to apologize.” 

Castiel shook his head and let his hands fall from the tops of his arms. His growing need to get Dean to leave was just making him even more irritable.

“Apologize for what?”

Dean shuffled his feet. Castiel thought he saw his cheeks colour up when he stuck both hands into his pockets and forced himself to look away.

“What I said earlier. I just wanted you to know I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Castiel thought back to their exchange in the corridor that morning and wondered exactly why Dean felt the need to apologize for that. Maybe he was just trying to be friendly after all. He was startled to feel a little ache of disappointment.

“I don’t understand. What _did_ you mean, then?” Castiel distinctly remembered Dean telling him he knew what he was and that alone had unleashed a new wave of terror at the thought of his secret being discovered. Dean seemed uncomfortable.

“Me and my little brother had a bet on.”

Castiel felt his heart sink.

“A bet?” He whispered in disbelief.

“Yeah.” Dean replied, recoiling with shame at the admission. Castiel felt torn between a blissful surge of relief that Dean had just been trying to get a reaction out of him and being incredibly pissed at him for playing with his emotions like that. Maybe he was safe after all. “I was just messin’ around. We hadn’t seen you in here much before and I might have mentioned to Sam that you looked kind of interesting.” Dean hesitated slightly. Castiel thought he was going to say something else to explain what that was supposed to mean, but Dean stopped himself. “My brother bet me ten dollars I couldn’t get you to talk to me.”

Castiel felt sick to his stomach.

_Ten dollars._

Dean could see Castiel’s expression had gradually fallen from confusion to insulted resentment.

“I really am sorry.” Dean continued. He reached out for Castiel again, but he was still just beyond his grasp. “It was just a bit of harmless fun. I never would have agreed to it if I’d known you were so - ” He quickly shut his mouth. Castiel glowered at him and swallowed down most of his anger. The look on his face demanded Dean finish that sentence and he tried to reply with as much diplomacy as he could dig out at such short notice. "Sensitive.”

“Sensitive?” Castiel mocked.

It was just a polite way of saying unstable sociopath and they both knew it. Dean Winchester had already started to haunt his dreams and send shivers pulsing through his body and it had only taken a smoky gaze and a few words in that honeyed voice to pull him in. Castiel felt so stupid. So naive. He was biting back an unfamiliar emotion when he moved to his front door and opened it wide, trying to prevent himself from saying something malicious. The light from the corridor washed over his face. Dean just caught the sadness in those deep eyes when he walked past him and waited hopefully in the entrance.

He didn’t even know his name.

Dean knew he was the cause of that hurt and he suddenly felt very reluctant to leave. He couldn’t stop himself from leaning in and taking a deep breath, inhaling like he wanted to swallow down all the air between them. Dean bit the inside of his cheek, fighting the consuming desire to run his hands all over Castiel and beg for forgiveness. It might have started out as a light-hearted wager but now Dean could see the pain in Castiel’s perfect face and he felt horrible. He hadn’t noticed before, but now he was so close, Dean could scent the faint hint of vanilla and cinnamon and it was beautiful. He was accidentally staring at Castiel’s mouth.

“I don’t know what else to say.” Dean whispered. One last desperate attempt to try and secure some measure of damage control for the harm he unintentionally caused.

“Well. Congratulations, Mr. Winchester. That’s a first.” Castiel bit out, without even looking at him. Dean had to physically tear himself away and step out into the dark corridor. He desperately wanted to stay. Dean couldn’t explain why, but he didn’t want to upset Castiel any more than he already had. He would just have to respect that. Dean allowed himself one last lingering gaze at Castiel’s enticing lips, subconsciously running a rough tongue over the sharp points of his canines. “Don’t forget to collect your ten dollars.”

That was the last sentence Dean heard before Castiel’s apartment door was slammed in his face.

Again.

Α ✫ Ω


	3. Chapter 3

Dean closed the door behind him when he returned to his own room and made no attempt to move away from it. Sam was sitting on the couch with his back to him, laptop resting on his knees.

“Well?” He asked, without even bothering to turn around. Dean was still speechless. Sam kept tapping away at the keyboard while he pressed his brother for a response. “Did you get him to talk to you?”

Dean let out a long breath of air.

“Yeah.” He sighed. Dean heard Sam mutter the word _dammit_ under his breath when he reached into his back pocket. He flipped open his wallet and pulled out a ten dollar bill. He held it up between his finger and thumb and waved it in Dean’s general direction to encourage him to take it.

“Here, then.” Sam prompted, when Dean made no attempt to claim his winnings.

“Keep it.” Sam dropped his arm in surprise and turned to look at Dean over his shoulder, just to make sure he hadn't misheard. “I don’t want it.” The defeated tone of his voice alone would have been enough to pique Sam’s interest but his refusal to take money he had technically earned got him more than a little intrigued. He quickly shut down the computer and set it to one side, shuffling into a more comfortable position. Sam was leaning on his arm, about to ask Dean what happened, but he seemed to be completely lost in thought. Dean was staring up at the ceiling and chewing hard on his lip. “Actually, I spoke to him twice and both conversations ended up with me staring at the other side of his door.”

“I like him already. What happened to the Winchester magic?” Sam asked playfully. He laughed, but his expression soon faded when Dean didn’t reply. Something was clearly troubling his brother. When he progressed to muttering to himself, Sam decided it was likely he was going to need a beer. He strolled through to the other room to fetch two bottles from the cooler. “Dean, you’re pacing.” Sam said patiently, handing one over. Dean stopped and twisted off the cap in frustration. “What did you say to him?” Sam prompted again. He didn’t think the first question even registered. Dean closed his eyes and shook his head like he couldn’t believe how badly he'd messed up.

“I told him he was a bet.” Dean admitted. Sam almost spat out his mouthful of beer.

“Dean…” Sam moaned dramatically. “You _never_ tell someone you’re only talking to them for a bet.”

“I know!” Dean shouted back, putting his hands up defensively. “I opened my mouth to say something else and that just fell out.” He added. “I don’t know, Sam. It was like I couldn’t lie to him.” Dean let out a low growl of exasperation and started moving again.

"Pacing.” Sam said calmly, but Dean wasn’t really listening. Sam sighed and took hold of his brother's shoulders, physically moving Dean over to the couch to sit him down. “I only made that stupid bet in the first place 'cause you kept drooling over him every time you saw him in the hallway. You needed someone to put a rocket up your ass so you would _actually_ go and speak to him.” Dean lifted one hand to cover his eyes and Sam knew whatever had been said between them had put him in a very dark mood. Sam deliberately softened the edge to his voice and tried to get him to talk. “C'mon. Tell me what happened.” Dean drained his beer in a single gulp and tossed the bottle to one side. He had no idea where to start. “Okay.” Sam breathed. He was clearly going to have to try a different approach. “What’s he called?” Dean just shrugged.

“I took his mail up this morning and I only looked at a few of the envelopes to get his apartment number, but the weird thing was they all had _care of_ or _occupier_  written above the address instead of his name.”

“Oh. Maybe he hasn’t been here long either, then.” Sam offered helpfully. “Unless he just likes his privacy. I wouldn’t read too much into it.” Dean nodded thoughtfully. He knew what Sam was thinking. “Does he know?” Sam asked suddenly, a familiar warning rising up inside him. Dean flashed him a sidelong glance before answering.

“About me? No, I don’t think so. Maybe.” Dean answered vaguely. “I did come on a bit strong.” It all seemed so stupid now. Dean had gone out of his way to try and seduce Castiel just to win ten dollars and had since concluded it was actually the worst fucking plan he'd ever had. He couldn't imagine what he was thinking, and now he'd probably ruined his chances completely. He rubbed hard at his eyes.

“He’s really got to you, hasn’t he?” Sam said quietly. Dean lifted one finger and looked hard at his brother.

“No.”

Sam raised an eyebrow but he didn’t push it. Dean had never been much fun to be around when he was in _hunting_ mode. Particularly when the latest target of his desire had just slammed the door in his face.

“You don’t think… could he be?”

Dean instinctively knew what Sam was asking. He had spent the last fifteen years of his life searching for one while they moved from town to town.

“I don’t think so. Fuck, Sam. I’ve never been able to find one in all this time. The odds that a male omega lives four doors away are like zero to none.”

“Yeah, I suppose.” Sam nodded, asking the obvious question. “What did he smell like?”

Dean inhaled like he was trying to recreate the moment when he had been standing next to Castiel in the doorway.

“Honestly?” He hesitated for a moment before looking away. “Good enough to eat.”

“Dean.” Sam sighed. “TMI.” He blinked and tried to force that image from his mind. “How close were you?”

“Not close enough.” Dean didn’t really want to answer any more of Sam’s crappy questions. He was still mad with himself for the way he approached the whole situation and silently cursed himself even more that he let someone get to him so much.

“Okay.” Sam conceded. It was painfully apparent Dean was just about done with that particular conversation. “Well maybe you should apologize to him, then.”

“Done that.”

“…and?”

“I think I terrified him.” Dean added quietly. “Mind you, I think everything terrifies him so I’m not gonna take that one personally.”

“Bit skittish, is he?”

Dean actually laughed, but it sounded hollow and sad.

“Yeah. You could say that. He didn’t want me to get too close, and I felt like he couldn’t wait for me to leave.”

They fell back into uneasy silence for a minute.

“Honestly? It sounds like you might have to let that one go, then.” Sam said. He moved away from Dean and opened his laptop back up. “Actually.” He continued, loading up the last website he was looking at before attempting to pass his computer to Dean. “Look, there’s a new club opened up down town. Not very subtly advertised on here but if you feel the need, I suppose we could go check it out.” Dean didn’t even spare a cursory look at the images and pushed the laptop away.

“I’m sick of beta bitches.”

“Hey.”

“Sorry, but you know what I mean. That’s not what I want, Sam.” Dean said seriously. He got up to get another beer. “No offense meant, but you know that’s always just been second best.”

Sam nodded.

“None taken. I know, Dean but you refuse to claim a female omega so you’re kinda limiting your options a bit.”

Dean shrugged again.

“Because I know it wouldn’t be right, and then we would just end up having to move again. It’s not so bad for you. You don’t have the same perspective.”

“Wow. _Perspective_.” Sam imitated. “You mean I’m not so hung up on this pair-bond crap you keep reminding me of every time I think you might actually be ready to take a mate.”

“It’s not crap.” Dean argued defensively. “Look it up. You’re supposed to be the smart one. All the lore says it’s possible. You just _know_.”

“Uh-huh.” Sam's mouth hitched into a smile. “And you just _know_ now, do you?” Dean didn’t say anything back. He was strumming his fingers down the side of the bottle in agitation. Something so breathtakingly different washed over him when he watched the skillful movements of Castiel’s mouth when he spoke, the almost ethereal shine in his blue eyes, and the desperate need to protect him and calm every one of his fears. Dean kept those images in a quiet place in his thoughts for now. It was like he had sensed something secret and unspoken. He didn’t really hold out much hope his affection would be returned, whether this man was an omega or not. He certainly hadn't seemed particularly impressed by Dean earlier. He was so lost in the memory of Castiel's face, he almost forgot Sam was still there. “Besides which, Dean. Not everybody values them the same way you do. I’m with you a hundred per cent, you know that - but there’s a lot that aren’t.”

“Beta.” Dean concluded resentfully. “Uptight and snarky. Probably straight.” He muttered to himself. Sam sighed and let out a long-suffering moan of despair.

“How much longer are you going to torture yourself, and more importantly, me, with this, Dean? You don’t know that and you shouldn’t make assumptions.”

“Huh.” Dean spat it out more forcefully than he intended. Being blown off more than once in the same day by every fantasy he ever had was starting to make him petulant. “You haven’t had a door slammed in your face. _Twice_.” He stressed, holding up two fingers to illustrate the critical level of outrage that had accompanied the experience.

Sam pressed his lips together to hold back a smile. He moved in close to Dean and slipped a supportive arm around his shoulders.

“Know what I think?” He whispered. Dean looked up at him. He never really understood how his kid brother had managed to get so big. “I think you should try again.”

 Α ✫ Ω

It took Castiel several long minutes to regain his composure after he practically kicked Dean Winchester out of his apartment. Castiel knew he probably overreacted, but sometimes the danger seemed to press in too close, the threat of temptation all too real. Now his thoughts were disordered and loaded with doubt. His reaction had been fuelled by indignance with the revelation he had basically been used as bait. All Castiel ever wanted was to be respected and valued. Accepted for what he was, without the fear of mistreatment or abuse. He had always been so careful not to interact with anyone who might threaten the little corner of peace and safety he had managed to carve out for himself in a disassociated society.

He double-checked the locks and wondered if Dean was still out there. He shouldn’t care.

He _mustn’t_ care.

He was managing it fine, just like he always did. Castiel would just have to satisfy himself with stolen touches in the dark while he imagined Dean’s mouth dragging kisses down his stomach. Castiel cursed and pounded a fist against the wall in annoyance. He had been frightened of what Dean might do to him, but now he was starting to wonder if it was his own instincts he should be afraid of. He tried to remain calm. He would only have to stay in the apartment until the following day and then he could go back to work.

Castiel wondered aimlessly why this man had seemed to show so much interest in him anyway, even if it had been for a bet. There were plenty of strung-out and hopeless cases down town that were desperate for affection. He had no doubt Dean could lure any one of them back to his bed with little difficulty. Castiel felt a sharp twist in his stomach at the thought of Dean putting those full lips even close to anyone else.

“Stop it.” He whispered to himself, blinking away the realization he had just experienced his first spark of jealousy. Castiel decided the most sensible option was to go back to bed and try not to be scared to fall asleep in case the nightmares resurfaced. He could hear the rain starting to fall again, pattering against his window. A storm was coming. Just something else that served to feed his unease. He always dreaded the sound of the rain dancing in the gutters. A harsh reminder of that fateful night so long ago when his true nature had pushed a way through all the denial as if to remind him of his place. Gabriel had held him close the last time he had seen his brother. It had been raining then, too. The night when everything was fire and pain. The itch of his pink young skin crawling and pulsating with a ferocity he never could have imagined possible.

“They’ll send you away, Castiel.” Gabriel had told him, while he sobbed in his arms and begged him to take away the burning in his chest. Castiel had pleaded with him for help. He had no idea what was happening to his delicate body but he wanted it to stop, almost crying out in panic when he felt the steady spread of his first slippery extrusion sliding out of him. Gabriel had given him something to help with the discomfort just before he left and Castiel had never forgotten the look on his brother’s face when he had been forced to say goodbye.

There was pity and sadness there, but something else was in his eyes that made Castiel’s heart break. He thought later that may have been the moment when all hope abandoned him and everything inside him turned to stone. Only the fear remained, and that had never left.

Castiel listened to the irregular pattern of falling water.

_How had he forgotten that?_

The storm had been wild that night. He always wondered if it was a sign. Something telling him to move on and leave the wreckage of his shame behind him.

“We’ve never had a male omega in our family. _Never_.” Gabriel had muttered while he helped him to gather together a few meager belongings before smuggling his brother down to the kitchen and scrabbling around in the cold store for a chunk of bread and a few slices of cured meat. He wrapped them up in a piece of linen and sent him away into the night to keep him safe, with the whispered promise he would always watch out for him. “As long as you're here, you will be in danger.”

In his defense, he still sent the pills every month.

Castiel believed in his own way, Gabriel had kept the promise he made to him when he was fifteen. He _was_ still safe. Still undetected, and living as much of a life as anyone could when they had to hide away from the rest of the world. Castiel shivered. The storm was approaching fast. He heard the distinctive roar of distant thunder on the air. The apartment was humid and dank and he wanted to open the window but the sound of the deluge outside was too much.

He needed some air.

Castiel walked back over to the door and bit hard into his lip while he put every scrap of concentration into sliding the chain back across and turning the key. He was fairly certain he heard an apartment door close only a few seconds after Dean’s forced departure, so he wasn’t unduly concerned he would meet him in the corridor. He would just stand in the main entrance downstairs for a minute. It was much less confining, and it had a vending machine that stocked the best iced tea ever. Castiel checked he had enough pocket change before slipping quietly down the back stairs, and out. He deposited a handful of coins in the slot and pressed the appropriate buttons. The can moved forward slowly and dropped into the tray below with a dull metallic thud. He bent down wearily to retrieve it, but when he turned around to walk back up the stairs he found himself only millimetres away from Dean Winchester.

Castiel inhaled a shaky breath, holding up the soda in front of him like some mystical charm that would somehow protect him from the package of flawless sin that was standing directly in front of him. Dean seemed to examine the can Castiel was holding just before he ran his index finger up the outside to collect the moisture that had gathered there while the air condensed with the heat of the room.

“My favourite.” Dean smiled, slowly sucking the cool liquid between his lips. He ran his pink tongue along the length of his finger. He saw Castiel’s eyes grow wide. He couldn’t stop himself watching the slick sweep as it disappeared back inside his mouth. “Can we start again? Dean Winchester.” He repeated, holding out one hand for Castiel to take.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel answered, without any heed to the consequences when he slipped his fingers into Dean’s waiting palm. “Castiel.”

Α ✫ Ω


	4. Chapter 4

Dean could feel the warm glow of Castiel’s touch spread into his skin like a rush of fire. Something wonderful definitely moved between them when they touched like that for the first time. Castiel truly believed if he hadn’t pulled his hand away when he did, he probably would never have got his arm back.

“Castiel.” Dean echoed softly. He made his name sound like it was something sacred and worshipful, tasting the word on his tongue. He nodded his approval. Castiel stepped back to try and put some distance between them, surprised at just how close he got to Dean without even realizing it. As soon as conscious thought kicked in, the barriers went back up and he could feel the familiar wave of nausea that always preceded a forceful swell of panic. “I like it. Pretty.” Dean whispered. His chest was heaving with fractured breaths, still trying to recover from the desire that had flooded his senses with that one simple touch.

“Thank you. Biblical, I think.” Castiel replied distractedly, starting to back away towards the stairs and a viable escape route. “Sorry. I… really… I only came down for a soda. I think I might be sickening for something. I seem to be so thirsty lately.” He immediately closed his mouth and put an end to that line of conversation. He didn’t want to give Dean any more information than was necessary. He might not have been particularly perceptive but he wasn’t stupid, and Castiel wasn't going to wait around for him to pick up on all the signs and put two and two together.

“You _always_ in such a rush?” Dean frowned, trying to move in on him again. Castiel’s apparent reluctance to communicate with him for more than a minute and a half was really starting to scratch at his insecurity. He was trying very hard not to take it personally. Castiel shook his head.

“Not really. I just don’t like the rain.”

Dean felt an unexpected surge of compassion while he watched Castiel try to fight away his restlessness. He looked so vulnerable, so desperate for someone just to smother him with affection and kiss all his pain away. Empathy wasn't something Dean experienced often and it hadn’t gone unnoticed that all these new emotions that were stirring in his heart always seemed to be associated with Castiel. His latent instincts to protect a potential mate were rising up inside him like an unstoppable force of nature.

“At least let me walk you back to your apartment.”

Castiel exhaled a long breath, his soft gaze finally drawn away from Dean’s face. He stared at the ground.

“That’s really not necessary.”

“It’s no trouble, honestly.” Dean replied, holding out his hand to suggest he would also happily carry his soda can back upstairs for him.

“Dean.” Castiel forced out. He was suddenly feeling trapped again and he needed to get back to the sanctuary of isolation. “I appreciate the offer, but I am quite capable of scaling a flight of stairs. I've managed to make it through the last thirty-two years without you. I think I can survive another five minutes.”

“Hey. Don’t be like that.” Dean said in surprise. His voice sounded like it was on the edge of defeat again and Castiel hesitated. “I’m trying to be nice here.” Castiel started to chew the inside of his cheek in a nervous gesture of indecision. He really wanted to agree, but he knew he couldn’t let Dean get too close. They were just two people who lived in the same apartment block - end of story.

“I know you are.” Castiel conceded, with a sigh. He couldn’t look into those green eyes for long. Not right now. “It’s not you, Dean.” Castiel started to climb the stairs alone. His hands were curled tightly around his little can of iced tea, and his pace suggested he was now touched by a weariness that seemed to come from somewhere deep inside him. Dean made an impulsive decision, and sprinted forward until he was standing on the step above Castiel with his arms folded across his chest in an intuitive token of dominance. “Dean... please let me past.” Castiel tried gently. He didn’t handle confrontation well and was hoping a polite request would be enough to persuade Dean to get out of his way.

“Cas.” Dean stated firmly. He stretched out one hand and tilted Castiel’s chin up with the tip of his finger. “Look at me.” The blue eyes snapped up in response and much to Dean’s amazement, this time he didn’t flinch. Dean had managed to make everything seem so much more intimate just by the use of a pet name. If he’d have known it would be that easy, he would have done it so much sooner. It captured Castiel’s full attention and he didn’t even attempt to correct him. “Please.” Dean begged. Something else he didn’t do very often. He was totally oblivious to the enigmatic thread of power Castiel had started to wind through him, even though it had been completely unintentional. “Let me walk you back to your apartment.”

There was a silky and persuasive tone to the request that gave Castiel no choice but to submit. He finally allowed himself to meet Dean’s gaze and something untamed ravaged right through him and made him shiver. He could probably get Castiel to agree to almost anything with those eyes. He knew he was staring, but just couldn’t seem to pull away and responded with a single whispered _K_.

Dean’s wide smile curved up one side of his mouth in delight and now Castiel had no doubt about what he imagined he'd seen earlier. Even in the dim light of the stairwell, he could see that Dean’s perfect white teeth were made for claiming. Large, sharp canines flashed under the curve of his lips. Castiel swallowed a gasp and deliberately forced himself not to think about it until he was safely back in his room. The logical corner of his mind was screaming for him to run away and never look back. If Dean really _was_ an alpha, he would let him take him back upstairs and then that would be the end of it. It would be too dangerous to see him again. Sooner or later Dean would realize what he was and then all his years of suffering and loneliness would have been for nothing.

Castiel's emotions were still clouded by doubt. He might well have been on suppressants and soaked in denial, but it was unlikely Dean would try and hide what he was. He had nothing to be ashamed of, and certainly no one to fear. Castiel would surely have been able to smell him and sense his intentions at their first meeting, but he hadn’t. He was very confused by the time they reached the fourth floor and wondered if maybe he had made a mistake. His heart felt heavier with every step and there was a hateful pull inside him at the thought of never being able to see Dean again.

“Cas, I don’t want you to get the idea I’m just doing this to make it up to you either.” Dean offered, with sincerity. He had no concept of what was going on inside Castiel’s head as they approached his apartment. They stopped just outside of room 65 first and Castiel reached deep into his pocket for the key. He forced a smile. Dean cautiously reached out to rest one hand on Castiel’s arm and turned him around so they were facing each other again. “I just didn’t want you to think I was a dick.”

“Dean.” Castiel began slowly, reluctantly pulling away so he could slide his key into the lock. “It’s fine, I don’t.”

The relief was evident on Dean’s face when he apprehensively licked at his bottom lip. It was obvious he wanted to say something more before he left. Castiel was about to go back inside and Dean was stalling. He didn’t want to leave him.

“Cas?”

“Yes, Dean.”

Dean leaned in towards him and Castiel thought for one moment he was going to try and kiss him. He held a tense breath. He didn’t know if he would be able to stop himself from letting Dean press his mouth against him. A door opened away down the hall with a dull click and the moment was broken. Dean blinked and pulled back, running one hand through his hair when he looked away.

“Well, g’night, Cas. I’ll see you around.” Dean muttered. He started to hurry on to his own apartment without looking back. The crushing temptation to capture Castiel’s lips with his own had left him unnaturally flustered. He had never felt so completely drawn in by a beta boy before. Castiel certainly was different, but Dean had already dismissed the hope he could possibly be that one treasured prize he had been searching for since his first breeding heat took over at seventeen. The family had kept it reasonably quiet at first. He was the only alpha to present for three generations and they didn’t really know what to do with him. He had been prone to sudden violent outbursts and inexplicable rages that always meant they had to move on and leave his sullied past behind them. Sam had always tried to empathize, but it was never the same for him and Dean couldn't seem to be able to make him understand just how different he felt. How alone.

It was in his nature to be mated, and he was so tired of fighting it. The unsuccessful pursuit of locating a male omega to claim as his own had left him bitter and hopeless. Over the years his scent had diminished, his base desires dampened by the constant failure to find that one true bond that would make him complete. Castiel saw something in him that no one else did and it fed Dean’s desperation to be wanted and needed like a drug.

Sam was waiting for him when he got back.

“Where the hell have you been?” He demanded, the look on his face suggesting he had taken Dean’s absence as a personal slight. Dean closed the door behind him without bothering to reply. He hated being away from Castiel. “I was in the middle of a conversation with you and when I came back you'd disappeared.” His hands were resting on his hips and he was clearly waiting for an acceptable explanation but Dean was so mystified by his searing attraction to Castiel, he couldn’t even find it in him to pretend anymore.

“I went to see Cas.” He admitted quietly and Sam’s expression changed. He immediately forgot he was offended and pounced on the fact Dean had apparently made strides in learning that much at least.

“Progress - a name.” Sam grinned. “Why don’t you ask him to come over? I can make myself scarce.” Dean seemed withdrawn and pensive, and it wasn’t like him. Sam wondered if Castiel realized just how much influence his presence was having on his brother.

“Just leave it. He’s not like that.” Dean murmured, staring out thoughtfully in to a dark sky. The storm seemed to be getting closer and heavy droplets lashed against the open window. Sam could feel a cold breeze playing with his hair so he went over to shut it. “He doesn’t like the rain.” Dean added.

“Huh?”

“Castiel. Doesn’t like the storm. Maybe I should go back and see if he’s alright.”

Sam rolled his eyes and inhaled a sigh so deep, it filled his entire chest with air.

“Dean. For the love of God, will you just tell him?”

“No.” Dean replied, without any hesitation. “I’m not gonna put that shit on him, Sam. Fuck me, he’s only just stopped jumping like a cat on hot bricks when I speak to him. Can you imagine what it would do to him if I told him I was an alpha?”

Sam nodded thoughtfully. He had to agree. Castiel did seem to be extremely temperamental.

“Is he not at work tonight?” Sam asked casually. Dean’s distracted senses were immediately drawn back to the present.

“How do _you_ know he works nights?” Dean asked possessively. Sam just laughed and slapped one hand to his face.

“Dean, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out whenever he comes back here, it’s always at the same time in the morning and he always looks shattered.” Dean’s frown deepened. He thought he had paid very careful attention to Castiel when he saw him in the hallway, but that had never occurred to him. “You might have been more inclined to notice that if your eyes hadn’t been constantly fixed on his ass.” Sam concluded. Dean couldn’t really argue the point. It was a perfectly valid observation. "Dean, if you're that worried, why don't you go back and check on him?"

"I can't keep bothering him, Sam." Dean looked up hopefully. "Can I?" 

The expression on his brother's face was the only response he needed.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel had finished his soda in record time. His thirst was getting worse and it hadn't been helped by the intensity of the last few minutes. All he could think about was that man who possessed the most hypnotically beautiful green eyes he could ever have imagined.

Castiel was scared.

Not only did he now suspect this man may be more of a threat than he first thought, he also knew if Dean had decided to take that kiss from him outside the apartment, he might well have been powerless to prevent it. Castiel had to let that go for now. He had every intention of staying away for another day or two and then maybe Dean would quickly lose interest in him and move on. Castiel lay down on his back on the bed and picked up the book he'd been reading the last time he stayed in the apartment. He forced himself to focus on the text and ignore the sound of the advancing storm outside. It didn’t seem to make any difference. No matter how he twisted and turned, he just couldn’t get comfortable and every thought had to be consciously filtered through the constant interference of _Dean Winchester_.

The storm was almost directly overhead now. An ominous roll of thunder rattled the glass of his windows and made his heart stutter in his chest. A sudden splinter of blue light shot across the sky and illuminated his face. He could feel the panic starting to intensify. Castiel dropped the book and covered his ears with his hands, as if that made it less frightening somehow.

He always kept his eyes open.

If he closed them, he was haunted by dark images of that terrible night when he was stumbling through muddy ditches with nothing to keep him warm and nobody to care. All he could hear was Gabriel’s voice in his head calling after him as he ran away from his home forever.

“Don’t let them get you, Castiel. _Never_  let them get you.” Gabriel had added in a whisper.

Castiel could feel the sting of faithless tears starting to fill the corners of his eyes while he forced the painful memory from his thoughts. Another blue flash and a crack of thunder forced him up and off the bed completely. It was enough to send him into a full-scale panic attack and he started to gasp for air again. There was a distinctive tap from outside, and without thinking he rushed to pull the door open to find Dean standing on the other side once more.

“Hey, Cas. This storm was getting real bad and I just wondered if you were - ” Dean started, but his sentence went unfinished when Castiel reached blindly for him and clutched at his shirt. He pulled him close and Dean could feel his heartbeat pounding against his own. Dean was frozen for a second. It was the very last thing he expected and he had to make a decision. He lifted up both arms and tentatively wrapped them around Castiel’s back. He melted into Dean’s embrace like he was made to be there. Castiel had been so long without human contact, when he finally let someone hold him it was like a flood had been unleashed. He pressed his face into the dip of Dean’s neck and clung to him for comfort. “Cas… it’s okay. Hey. It’s okay to be scared.” Dean murmured against his cheek. Castiel was blowing warm puffs of air across his skin while he trembled beneath Dean’s touch.

Dean’s mouth brushed against the soft hair on top of Castiel’s head and Dean instinctively moved his hand to run his fingers through it. It smelled so good, he pushed in closer and pressed silken strands of it against his lips like he wanted to consume every last part of him. Dean couldn’t hold back a low growl of want. He breathed Castiel in, his entire body hitching with every new intake of scented air. He could almost taste the sweet droplets of pheromone-laden sweat that pushed their way out of Castiel’s pores and settled on the warm skin at the back of his neck. Dean had to force every natural instinct away just to keep his tongue inside his mouth.

Castiel closed his eyes.

He had never felt so safe.

 Α ✫ Ω 

 

Artwork by Yajanele

 


	5. Chapter 5

Dean could never be certain just how long he cradled Castiel in his arms that first time he held him. It sure as hell didn’t feel like long enough.

Dean guessed it was only the force of the storm that had brought on the sudden shift in Castiel's need to be so physically close to someone, but he wasn't gonna let go. Castiel's unsteady breaths finally settled back into a more normal rhythm, and his erratic heartbeat seemed to have stopped fluttering dangerously fast against Dean’s chest. He was still warm and damp from the subtle spread of perspiration that had coated the surface of his skin with a delicate sheen. When he eventually pulled back, Dean could see his pupils were blown wide and his lips were flushed and pink where they had been pressed up against the sultry warmth of Dean’s body.

Castiel made no attempt at all to pull away during those long beautiful minutes when he had wound his fingers tightly into the material of Dean’s shirt and held on to him as if his very life depended on it. He was perfectly still while Dean dared gentle touches up and down his back to try and ease his distress, and eventually Castiel felt safe enough to relax a little underneath the soft brush of searching fingertips. Dean imagined he even heard Castiel making almost imperceptible little humming noises when he leaned against his shoulder.

The relentless fury of the rain finally subsided and the humid air was seamlessly broken by a calm cool breeze that suggested the grey clouds had moved away into the distance. At last his fear faded away, and Castiel seemed to be suddenly set free from the allure of another man’s arms around him. He pushed Dean away with more force than he really intended, and stepped completely out of reach. His mouth was pressed into a rigid line, staring at the ground with a dark expression, like he was ashamed he had forgotten himself for a moment.

Castiel tried to say something, but his mouth was unbearably dry and his desire for water was like a burning fire in his throat. He rubbed away the moisture that covered the back of his neck and blinked a few times in some futile attempt to erase the potent memory of the last few minutes, when he had willingly submitted to the instinctive desire for the safety of Dean’s protection. Castiel was absolutely terrified by how easily he had let that need overtake him. There was little point in denying he could have let himself drown in the blissful salvation of Dean’s caresses. In that moment a painful realization struck him hard.

He had been right all along.

Dean Winchester was dangerous, and Castiel just couldn’t risk something like that ever happening again.

“Cas? You okay?” Dean asked hesitantly. He was watching him with concern. Only minutes ago he had been inhaling deep, delicious breaths of Castiel’s scent and it had stimulated a desire to claim that had long been hidden away inside of him. Now Castiel was silently shaking his head, continuing to study the pattern of tiles beneath his feet. He knew in his heart Dean would only have to push his body close and whisper seductive promises against the pulse in his throat and he would freely abandon all sense of restraint and the cold prison of self–denial he had buried that part of himself in for as many years as he could remember.

The moment he learned what fate awaited him if his secret was ever discovered had shaped everything he was, and now that carefully crafted safety was being threatened by the pull of longing that had coursed through his veins when Dean smothered him with his intoxicating presence. Castiel jumped like a startled rabbit as soon as Dean moved one step closer, his hand stretching out in front of him.

“Cas.” Dean attempted again. “It’s alright. You don’t need to be afraid of me.” Castiel couldn’t look at him.

“Yes I do.” He whispered quietly. His breathless response hadn't really been meant for Dean to hear. More to try and convince himself to believe it. Those three little words stirred Dean’s defensive pride, and he jerked his head back in surprise. 

“You were the one who grabbed me, remember.” His voice was low, tainted by an edge of sudden mistrust. He wondered if Castiel had somehow been deliberately playing with the unspoken promise of returning his affection, and Dean didn’t like the way that made his stomach tense. The intimate exchange had left him feeling strangely vulnerable at how effortlessly Castiel had drugged his senses and blocked out all else save an uncontrollable need to take more. Dean was biting back the rejection, stern eyes fixed on the contours of Castiel’s face. His mouth was turned down, shoulders rising and falling in steady movements while he struggled to gain mastery of his building disappointment. Castiel held his breath, waiting for Dean to hurl resentful insults or venomously spit out his anger by calling him a _fucking cock tease_. He might even slam the door behind him just to prove a point as he stormed out the apartment.

Castiel already anticipated any or all of these inevitable outbursts of dominance, but nothing happened.

Dean’s whole body slumped. He finally looked away and backed up until he was standing in the shadow of the doorway. He looked more subdued than anything else, and Castiel felt a sharp stab of regret catch in his chest when he watched Dean dip from view without another word passing between them. He could hear his heavy footsteps disappear down the corridor before everything faded into uneasy silence. Castiel walked over to the door and closed it. He leaned forward to rest his head against the barrier he had now put between them. The last thing he wanted to do was to throw anything back at Dean. He had been so understanding and patient, and had made him feel a kind of safety he never felt before, but there was something else just under the surface that intimidated him.

If Dean really _could_ be an alpha, then it was only a matter of time before even the suppressants failed to protect him from those keen canine senses. The pills might serve to control his heat, and he was eternally grateful to his brother for keeping him supplied, but they couldn’t change what he was. Every time he thought about Dean, he could feel his body begging to respond. He could no longer trust in willpower alone to subdue every omega breeding instinct that was screaming to let Dean bewitch him and sink those powerful white teeth into his neck.

Castiel set about straightening up the apartment, and packing a few essentials into a little backpack.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam turned when Dean quietly closed the door and shucked off his leather jacket with little care for where it landed. He didn’t hesitate to stroll through to grab another couple of beers before he practically threw himself full length across the couch and pulled a squashed cushion to his chest. He rested his chin on the edge and stared out the window. The view of city lights was blurred by the refraction of settled raindrops. It made his gaze dip in and out of focus while he struggled to concentrate on anything but Castiel.

Dean could still feel the satiny touch of Castiel’s dark hair on his lips and the way he shivered against his hands. It was worse to know what that actually felt like, only to have it ripped away again. Part of him wished he hadn't had it at all. Memory alone wasn't enough, and Dean stubbornly willed the lingering scent of Castiel to fade away and stop tormenting him with a phantom promise. Sam was watching him patiently while he waited for an update, but when he failed to get a response from his demanding expression alone, he flicked Dean on the cheek and tugged at one corner of the pillow.

“Well?” Sam prompted, with inquisitive eyes. Dean mumbled a restrained growl into the material next to his mouth and tried to turn over to get more comfortable. “Dean?” His brother replied with another formless grunt, and Sam knew he would just have to pester him until he gave in. “Was he alright?”

Still nothing.

“With the storm, I mean.” Sam encouraged. “Castiel. You said he didn’t like the rain.”

A few more seconds of silence passed, and Dean was now lying with his face pressed into the pillow he dragged underneath him. Sam sensed maybe things with Castiel hadn't gone quite as well as anticipated, and Dean was mumbling almost incoherent curses into his arm. Sam didn't have the patience or the inclination right then to have an entirely one-sided conversation so he decided to abandon the line of questioning he already prepared. He had every intention of leaving Dean to just get on with it and sulk in peace, when he unexpectedly spoke again.

“I just don’t get it.” Dean suddenly blurted out. Sam was startled by the amount of passion he seemed to put into that one single sentence. “I really thought I might actually be getting somewhere with him, as well.” Dean mused quietly. Sam patted him supportively on the shoulder.

“Dean. You hardly know him, _and_ you did kindly inform him he was only a bet earlier. Honestly, I’m surprised he even spoke to you at all.” Sam sighed. He really wanted to lift Dean’s mood, but he had to admit he might be putting a lot of energy into pursuing someone who would never be interested in him in return. “Oh.” Sam added quickly, deliberately exaggerating several other reasonably legitimate reasons why Dean might have had to work so hard for Castiel’s attention. “… _and_  you said he’s generally a shivering mess, scared of his own shadow. He’s obviously very shy, _and_  you tried to seduce him the first time you ever spoke to him. Plus, he probably thinks you’re not seriously interested 'cause you only want him so you can add another notch to your bedpost.”

Sam hadn’t even paused to take a breath, but Dean stopped him before the list of his spectacular fuck ups to date got any longer.

“Yeah, I get it. Thank you.” Sam shrugged. He was only trying to be helpful. Dean shook his head, slowly trying to process everything Sam said. When he put it like that, it really wasn’t that hard to see why Castiel felt threatened by his less than subtle approach. Sam was starting to wonder why Dean seemed so focused on this man he only just met. He wasn’t usually quite so desperate to impress a potential lay. Sam suspected it was definitely something more than a passing attraction, and he wasn’t entirely certain Dean could explain it ether. “Why do you care, anyway?” Dean gave Sam a sidelong glance, debating whether to tell his brother exactly what he sensed when Castiel was pressed up close against him.

“Dean?” Sam prompted. “What happened?”

“He just… I don’t know. Smelled… _different_.” Dean admitted at last. Sam frowned and tilted his head to one side. He needed to know what Dean was trying to say but he was too tired for cryptic innuendo, so he just went straight to the point.

“Like _omega_ different?”

Dean didn’t dare to mention that his first instinct had been to run his tongue across Castiel's damp skin and lick him clean.

“God, I hope so.” He answered through a tight breath, staring down at his hands. “I don’t know, Sam. I’ve never seen one before.”

Sam nodded thoughtfully.

“Well, you sure can’t seem to get him off your mind, so there must be something about him. I’ve never seen you look so pathetic.”

Dean was about to argue, but Sam had a decent point so Dean just glared at him instead. He wasn’t exactly advertising his alpha status. It had been a long time since he even cared about using his social position to get what he wanted from someone.

Castiel was different.

Special.

He deserved to be courted and won, not taken.

“Sam.” Dean’s voice dropped at the unthinkable possibility Castiel could really be the one he had searched for his entire life. “I don’t wanna get my hopes up.” There was an empty sadness there when he thought about just how long he had waited. How many years he had dragged poor Sam around with him, moving all over the country looking for that lost part of himself. “To be a male omega, _and_ to look like that.” Dean whistled low and long. “It’s too much to hope for. I don’t think I could take the disappointment.” Sam’s expression faded when a bitter memory stirred in some forgotten recess of his mind.

“I know, Dean.” He forced a smile. “I know.” Sam pushed himself up from a very comfortable dip in the couch. They were out of beer, so Sam grabbed his jacket and told Dean he was just going to make a quick trip to the store.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel was almost ready to leave. He set his pack and wallet on the bed while he checked all the windows and turned off the bathroom light, but the thought of going outside on his own in the dark threatened to trigger another bout of nervous restlessness. He could feel the familiar pull of nausea in his stomach when he pressed his face up against the glass to see if the storm had finally abated. The dark street below looked cold and cheerless. He didn’t actually have to be at work until the following night but everything now felt heavy and oppressive, and he wanted to get away from the confines of his small apartment and the constant threat of virile temptation down the hall. He patted himself down to check he had remembered to pocket his cell phone and key, and prepared to brave the corridor. He half-expected Dean to suddenly materialize in front of him when he made his escape. He did seem to possess the uncanny ability of being able to appear as if by magic, just when Castiel least expected it.

He struggled to slide the chain across again, his face lined with deep concentration. He let it dangle free and turned the handle. He was more than a little worried about being detected as he made his way out and closed it behind him. Castiel managed to make it to the lift and breathed a sigh of relief. He leaned his back up against one side and reached out an unsteady hand to press the button that would take him down to the lobby. The doors slid slowly across the gap and Castiel tried to keep his heartbeat steady while he waited.

“Hold the doors, please!” He heard someone shout, just before a sizable hand was thrust between the divide and practically forced them apart. Castiel was staring in horror, as the largest man he had ever encountered came barreling through the opening and flashed him a huge grin. His long hair was dangling in his eyes and he seemed to take up all the available space with his presence alone. Castiel backed into a corner and deliberately stared at the ground, willing him to hurry up and just push something so he would go away as quickly as possible. The man was facing the doors as they closed, but something must have clicked in his head when he swept his fringe from his face and glanced back at Castiel over one shoulder. It looked like he was just double-checking to make sure he hadn’t made a mistake. Castiel gave him a weak smile but he knew his heart was starting to race again.

The man suddenly turned around and looked down at him with his head dropped to one side like that somehow made it easier to study him. Castiel shifted uncomfortably when he caught the other man’s piercing gaze. It was familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it. He ran his fingers nervously through several strands of hair and forced a cough. The man was still staring at him. He was suddenly beginning to feel much warmer than he had done a few minutes before.

“You’re Castiel.” The man said with a smile. It was meant as a statement, not a question.

“I am.” He answered. His beautiful blue eyes started to search for the location of the emergency button, just in case he suddenly needed to push it. He looked absolutely terrified, and his voice was quiet and soft. Sam couldn’t resist a secret smile. He was starting to understand why Dean was so captivated by him. “Sorry. Do I know you?”

“No. Well, not really but I know you.” Sam laughed. “Dean hasn’t shut up about you all day.”

Castiel swallowed.

“Dean?”

Sam nodded.

“Yep. I’m his brother. I don’t know if he’s mentioned me at all.”

“Sam?” Castiel replied, the earlier conversation with Dean flooding back to him now he could actually put a face to the name.

“That's right. I’ve heard a lot about you, Cas.” Sam gave him a knowing look before he stooped to pick up Castiel’s discarded pack and slung it across one shoulder without much effort. “I think we should have a little talk.” Sam said seriously. Castiel thought he saw a shadow cross his face in the bright glare of the artificial spotlights that dotted the ceiling. “There’s something I _really_ need to tell you.”

Α ✫ Ω


	6. Chapter 6

Castiel seemed completely unable to form a single coherent sentence under Sam’s watchful gaze when the lift began to descend. He felt his stomach lurch, and he wasn’t sure if it was from the sudden juddering movement, or from the realization Sam didn’t really make that sound like a request. When they reached the ground floor, the doors opened and Sam stepped out first, gesturing for Castiel to follow him with a simple jerk of his head.

Castiel knew he must have looked absolutely pitiful just standing there with his hands twisted together. He was so torn between running back upstairs and locking himself away and just swallowing down the fear and going after him. He had to admit he was a little curious about what it was exactly Sam seemed so intent on sharing with him. Whatever it was probably involved Dean, and that alone would have been enough to sway his decision.

Castiel noticed his bag was still dangling from Sam’s shoulder and he really needed to retrieve the contents. A fresh, unopened packet of one of his new high strength suppressants was wedged carelessly into one of the side pockets and he could hardly breathe at the thought they might fall out at Sam’s feet any second. He would probably rather die right there than have to explain that one away.

Ever the optimist.

Castiel sighed in defeat and stepped out of the lift while he looked up at Dean’s brother. He seemed to go on forever. There was no real resemblance between them, but there was something safe about him that reminded Castiel of Dean. That memory set free all the painful emotions he had felt when he pushed Dean away. How he wished he could take that moment back, but he had panicked as usual and his first instinct was to run away and hide. Castiel tried to dampen down the budding confusion that was pulling at his heart, unable to decide if it was because he was scared or because he wanted to feel Dean’s arms winding round him again. There was a much deeper longing there than Castiel was willing to admit.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Castiel replied hesitantly. Sam attempted a smile, watching the other man shift restlessly in front of him. Castiel had no need to fear him. He took a small step towards him and tried very hard not to look too menacing.

“It’s about Dean.” Sam offered quietly, in the hope the mention of his name might stimulate Castiel's curiosity. Sam had tried to keep his voice soft, but Castiel still couldn’t make eye contact with him. He was starting to wonder how he could possibly get his pack back if he refused point blank to go with him. Sam was unnaturally large and to Castiel, he was formidable company. He had found it hard enough to talk to Dean when he pinned him like that and he could feel the sweat starting to pool on his neck again. It didn’t seem to have quite the same effect on Sam as it did on his brother. Sam made no attempt to get any closer and his expression never altered. He just waited patiently for Castiel to decide whether or not he was prepared to listen to what he had to say.

“Alright.” Castiel whispered at last.

Sam nodded gratefully and they started to head towards the main entrance. Castiel glanced at the row of mailboxes to his right and thought about how all this had started in the first place. It had been such a short amount of time since he had found himself staring into those alluring eyes. Now it felt like Dean consumed every waking thought, and he had to make it stop somehow. His need to be near him was getting out of control and Castiel knew that once he had spoken to Sam, he would bed down at work for a few days to try to get Dean Winchester out if his system once and for all. A treacherous little voice in the back of his head was warning him it might not be quite that easy, but he ignored it for now. There was still a damp edge to the night air as they pushed the doors open.

“Do you want to go over to the coffee house? At least we’ll be out of the cold and no one will bother us. Dean thinks I’ve gone to fetch beer.” Sam smiled. Technically he had. The fact he had coincidentally run into Castiel was just an unexpected bonus. Castiel shrugged. His eyes were still fixed on his bag and he was biting into his lip. He really wanted Sam to give it back, but was too afraid to ask for it outright. He didn’t want to sound too desperate and make him suspicious.

“I don’t mind. I was just on my way out though, so please forgive me if I can’t stay very long.”

Sam huffed a laugh while he studied Castiel’s face. He had such an unusual way of communicating and he was hopelessly sweet. Sam quickly concluded he probably had very little social experience.

“Yeah, Cas. I think I might be able to forgive you for that. Come on.” Sam beamed at him before he led the way over the road. His pace was making it difficult for Castiel to keep up and he was slightly out of breath by the time they reached their destination. Sam held the door open for him and Castiel dipped underneath his arm, but then he suddenly stopped. There were far too many people between him and the counter and the light seemed too bright for his sensitive eyes. Heightened senses and a feeling of total vulnerability had become more intense over the last couple of days and he knew instinctively what it meant. Castiel felt a rise of panic when he realized everything had suddenly become loud and threatening, his own thoughts being drowned out by the constant hum of noise that surrounded him. He reached blindly behind him and tried to make a grab for his bag but he ended up tugging hard on Sam’s coat sleeve instead.

“Sam... my pack.” His voice sounded desperate and Sam quickly slipped it from his shoulder and handed it over straight away. He was frowning down at him when Castiel fumbled through the side pocket and pulled out the small box that contained the new batch of pills. Sam shut the door and turned to ask Castiel if he was okay but he wasn't next to him anymore. He had hurriedly chosen a table in one of the darkest corners of the room and was sitting in a strange position, with his back pressed up against the wall. His eyes were darting around and he was flexing his fingers again. Sam swept in to sit on the opposite side and leaned over the table.

“What’s the matter?” He asked with confusion. “You look like a pack of wild dogs might be after you.” Castiel stared at Sam in surprise. His choice of phrase had been unfortunate. That was exactly what he was afraid of.

“Sam, please. I’ll be fine in a minute.” Castiel said, reaching for the customary jug of water that had been set on the centre of the table between them. He attempted to pour some into a glass but his hand was shaking so much, he missed it completely and a wayward stream splashed over the table top and almost soaked Sam. “Sorry… I’m so sorry.” Castiel stammered, helplessly trying to mop it up with a few flimsy paper napkins. Sam was becoming increasingly concerned about him.

Dean wasn’t kidding. He was a mess.

“Here, let me.” Sam gently prised rigid fingers from the handle and took the pitcher from Castiel's hand. “Sure you’re alright?” Sam asked warily. Castiel seemed to have settled a bit, and at least he was now more focused on the box in his hands than the people around him. He nodded and opened up the little carton.

“My anxiety meds.” Castiel lied without looking up and pushed two pills through the film and popped them into his mouth, one after the other. He gulped down a mouthful of the water Sam poured out for him and swallowed loudly as they slipped down his throat. Sam narrowed his eyes as he watched him. His mind was starting to put several disjointed pieces together while he stared at the packet. Since when did prescription medication come in plain unmarked boxes? Sam didn’t want to make him any more agitated than he already was, so he decided not to mention it just yet. He tried to cover Castiel’s hand with his own as a token of friendly support, but Castiel jerked his arm back and out of reach. “Sorry.” He apologized again. “I don’t really know why, but I get jumpy when people try to touch me.” Castiel thought back to the moment when Dean had held him close and run his fingers down his back. He had actually found that more calming than anything else, and then he ruined it by pushing him away. “Mostly.”

“It’s fine. I’ll just go get us a coffee.” Sam placated. “Wait here.” He realized how stupid that sounded on his way to the bar. Where else was he going to go in that state? Sam was really starting to understand the depth of Dean’s attraction to him, and that was from a beta perspective. He was crying out to be cosseted and protected from everything that threatened him. Sam thought he probably didn’t even know himself how desperate he was to be cherished. For an unmated and fiercely possessive alpha like Dean, Castiel was honey just waiting to be licked.

When he returned a few minutes later, Sam was surprised to find Castiel was no longer alone. He was backed up completely and tugging his legs up into his chest. His blue eyes were wide and frantic.

“Hey!” Sam shouted over the noise of the busy room, and a man who had been crowding Castiel stood up straight and glanced over his shoulder. Castiel didn’t think he'd ever been so pleased to see anyone in his life when Sam quickly deposited the drinks on the table and put himself between them. “He’s with me.” It wasn't particularly loud, but the underlying warning in his voice was determined and strong. The burning hazel glare that accompanied it was enough to make his point, and the man started to back away. Castiel let out a long breath, slowly releasing the iron grip around his knees.

“In which case, you shouldn’t leave him alone. Pretty little thing like that.” The man replied with a smile, but there was nothing pleasant about it. “Something might happen to him.” He walked away and melted seamlessly back into the crowd before Sam had the chance to punch him. He sat down silently and pushed Castiel’s cup towards him with one finger, staring curiously at him.

That was definitely not something that just happened on a regular late night trip to pick up a cup of coffee, and Castiel knew Sam had read much more into the bitter exchange than he would have liked. It was making him really uncomfortable and he wasn't in any condition to discuss it right then. The look in that stranger's eyes had chilled him to the core. Castiel couldn’t even think about what he would have done if Sam hadn’t come back at that moment.

Castiel was getting close to falling into his cycle again and was finding his scent more difficult to mask with every day that passed as it got nearer. He had been self-lubricating for the past week at least and already presumed that might be what had drawn Dean to him in the first place. He was secretly hoping it was more than the smell of a warm receptive body that had turned those green eyes. Castiel was having to work much harder at convincing himself he didn’t want that, no matter how safe and warm he felt when he let Dean hold him.

Sam took in a deep breath and allowed himself a mouthful of coffee. He finally stopped staring. “Well, I suppose you want to know why I asked you to come here.” Sam said, after replacing his cup. Castiel nodded silently, taking a few little sips of his own drink from the very edge. He kept it balanced on his bottom lip while Sam spoke. “There’s something I want you to know about my brother.” He started awkwardly, pushing the hair back from his face again. Castiel swallowed nervously. He was watching Sam over the rim of his cup and he could feel his heart start to flutter. “I don’t really know how to start.” Sam shook his head. “So I’m just going to come right out and say it, and then whatever you want to do with it is up to you.” He said quickly, eventually managing to look up into Castiel’s eyes again. “I just don’t want him to get hurt.” Sam said suddenly. He certainly got straight to the point - there was no denying that. Castiel put his coffee down. “You must know how much he likes you.” Sam added. His cheeks flushed pink, and Castiel couldn’t resist a small smile at how difficult that had seemed for him to force out.

“He has been very kind to me today.” Castiel said quietly.

Sam actually laughed.

“Yes, I can imagine.” His expression soon grew serious again. “I think it’s much more than that. I don’t want to speak out of turn, and Dean would beat the living shit out of me if he knew I was telling you any of this, but I haven’t ever seen him so determined to win someone over. He's been watching you for a while.” Castiel could feel his throat tightening up again when he gasped in a few shallow breaths. That wasn't creepy at all. “I don’t really know what’s happening here, or how you feel about him, but I think maybe…” Sam hesitated. “He’s set his heart on you for a _reason_.”

Sam stressed that word deliberately and hoped Castiel was smart enough to pick up on the significance. He was desperate to tell him Dean was an alpha and was starting to hope he had found his pair-bond at last, but it wasn’t his place. He was just concerned at how quickly his brother was becoming infatuated with someone who might never be able to love him.

“Sam.” Castiel started quietly. “I can’t. I'm just not able to be with anyone like that.” He whispered, even though he knew his resolve was weakening every time he thought about how much he wanted to give in to his instincts and let Dean suck at the curve of his throat.

“Oh - okay. I just wanted to tell you he was interested, is all. He doesn’t take rejection well but I’ll try and let him down gently.” Sam replied sadly. He inhaled a deep breath and set his mouth in a stiff line. “Thanks for being so honest, anyway.”

Castiel paled. Not strictly true.

“Let me walk you to the stop.” Sam offered, when they got up to leave. “I’ll have a word with Dean and tell him he should back off a bit. He’ll be okay in a few days. He always is.” Castiel hesitated. He wasn’t sure what Sam meant by that last comment, but it made him feel sick. “I thought you were heading into town.” Sam prompted, but Castiel felt like he was being pulled apart inside with the revelation Dean wanted him so badly. He hadn’t realized just how much he'd needed to hear it. “Cas?” Sam tried one last time. “You _do_ want him to back off, don’t you?” Castiel felt his lip tremble when he imagined just how much that would have hurt if their positions had been reversed.

“I… I don’t know.” He murmured. Suddenly he wasn’t so sure anymore. Sam could see the doubt on his face, but he didn’t want to try and influence him one way or the other, so he gave Castiel a simple choice.

“Why don’t you come back with me instead and talk to Dean? Maybe he'll be able to explain it much better than I can.”

Castiel glanced down the street when he heard his bus pull up on the side of the pavement. He looked back in the direction of the apartment block.

He screwed his eyes tight shut and made a fateful decision.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam opened the door to their room and saw Dean’s arm shoot up from behind the couch to imply his open hand needed to be filled with a cold bottle. “What took you so long?” He asked, without even bothering to sit up.

“I… er... bumped into Castiel.” Sam answered quietly. He could almost hear Dean stop breathing. “… and I brought him back with me.”

Dean jumped up and stood gaping stupidly at them both while he processed the fact Castiel was standing in his doorway. He looked even more adorable than he remembered and Dean found himself struggling to say anything at all. Castiel's hair was still damp from the moist night air and his cheeks and lips radiated a pink glow, like the inner heat that burned inside him was trying to escape just to set Dean's heart on fire.

Castiel was blinking and staring at his hands, anxiously twisting the handle of his backpack between his fingers. Sam gave Dean a wide demanding look that screamed _tell him_ before he backed discreetly out into the corridor again. They just heard his muffled voice say something about needing a walk before the door closed behind him. Castiel hadn't expected Sam to leave him alone with Dean, and he felt weak and defenseless again as soon as the alpha started to approach him.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Hey, Cas.” Dean pushed one hand through his hair, shrugging awkwardly when he forced a laugh. “I’m sorry about Sam. He’s just a pushy little shit.” Castiel finally looked up at him.

“That’s alright. I actually think I rather like him.”

Dean shook his head in despair, but he was smiling.

“Yeah, well. Wait ‘til you get to know him.” There was a small pause. “So, anyway. Don’t think I’m complaining or nothing, but how did he manage to get you to come over here?” Dean glanced away and Castiel could see he was still a little resentful. “I thought you wanted me to leave you alone.” He sighed. “You said I frightened you.”

Castiel gasped a small breath when Dean’s eyes quickly flicked back to him.

“I didn't mean it like that.” Castiel answered honestly. “I’m not afraid of _you_. I’m afraid of the way you make me feel.”

“Really?”

Castiel nodded and sucked hard at his lip. He held Dean’s gaze.

“I’m scared I’m not strong enough to keep pushing you away.”

Α ✫ Ω


	7. Chapter 7

The hope in Dean’s chest finally broke free when he dared to reach out and cradle Castiel’s beautiful face in his palm. He didn’t pull away, so Dean slipped his hand up a little more until he could feel the soft downy hair just behind his ear. A throbbing pulse was moving just under his fingertips and it made Dean feel more possessive than ever.

“Cas.” Dean breathed against his mouth, stroking his thumb gently down the side of Castiel's face. He curled his other hand around his hip and pulled him closer. “Give me a chance... please.” Dean leaned in a little more and swept the pad across Castiel’s bottom lip. “Just give me one chance to prove I really deserve you.” Castiel didn’t think he had taken a single breath for however long he'd been standing there and staring up at those persuasive eyes. He knew the answer before Dean even finished his sentence. Castiel exhaled a long sigh against Dean’s hand where it was still resting on his cheek.

“Deserve me?” Castiel murmured in disbelief. That had thrown him completely. Male omegas were beneath everyone. He didn’t understand why Dean couldn’t see it. He was nothing. “I don’t really know what you want from me.” He whispered. Dean reluctantly withdrew the touch and dropped both arms back to his sides. Castiel's mind was now a storm of confusion. He didn’t know how he could have been so mistaken. He was pretty sure Gabriel once told him all alphas just take what they want. Dean was actually asking his permission to try and earn his submission, rather than assume a right to it. Castiel was almost tempted to lift up Dean's top lip and examine the points of his teeth again just to make sure. “A chance to do what?”

Dean frowned, moving his head back to study Castiel’s expression. He surely wasn’t that emotionally dense he had no idea what Dean was trying to ask him.

“Seriously? You really gonna make me say it?” Dean replied, but his tone was gentle. He was biting back an embarrassed smile. Castiel was still staring at him like he was in some kind of suspended animation. He blinked, just once. Dean rolled his eyes and stuck his hands in his back pockets so he wasn’t tempted to make another grab for him. “Well.” Dean faltered, desperately trying to think of a polite way of saying it. He fished around in his supply of least distasteful pick-up lines and wondered aimlessly how Sam would have phrased it. “Well, to win you over, I guess.” He offered hopefully.

Castiel tilted his head. Dean might have suspected there was something different about him, but he clearly didn't know exactly what he was or he wouldn’t have asked him like that. He must have been wrong about him. No alpha would care what he wanted. He would have just taken him.

“Oh.” Castiel gasped. Dean lifted both eyebrows in anticipation, shrugging an apology for his painful lack of skill at just being able to ask Castiel outright if he would ever consider him as a potential suitor. “You think I’m a beta queer? Like you.” Castiel added suddenly. The abruptness of it made Dean inhale a sharp breath. That wasn't what he expected at all.

“Actually, I was really hoping you weren’t.”

“What?”

“Nothing, Cas. Never mind. I just thought maybe - ”

Dean started to wish he'd been able to tell Castiel exactly what he was before it all got so awkward, but he didn’t want to scare him away completely. He only just managed to gain his trust, and he wanted to help him overcome his fears, not make them worse. That must be what Castiel chose to believe because it made it easier somehow. Castiel knew right then he had to do something he should have done much earlier that evening.

“Dean, I think I need to get away for a couple of days. I’m due on shift tomorrow down at dispatch anyway, so I may as well stay there and try to clear my head.” Castiel was really trying to hide the developing signs of his inherent nature as they began to bud again, but he couldn’t tell Dean that. “We’ll talk more when I get back if you… if you still want to.” Dean ran his tongue across the line of his mouth and just nodded. He couldn’t think of anything else to say when he watched Castiel force another smile and hitch his pack over one of his shoulders. “Bye, Dean.” Castiel said softly, letting himself out of the apartment. He didn’t turn around but he could almost feel Dean’s burning gaze melting the back of his neck.

Sam returned less than twenty minutes later and tapped on the door as a polite warning before he tentatively pushed it open and poked his head through the gap.

“What you knocking for?” Dean snapped at him.

He was standing by the window and looking down on to the dark pavement below. He didn’t turn around.

"Huh?"

“You live here, you idiot.”

Sam threw the door all the way open once he realized he wasn’t going to walk in on them in a compromising position. He strode into the room and Dean knew he was looking for Castiel by the way he moved his head and scanned every corner.

“Where’s Cas?” Sam asked breathlessly.

“Gone.”

“What do you mean, gone?” His face changed completely when he remembered the last thing he'd said before he closed the door on them. “Did you tell him?” His voice was a strange combination of excitement and anticipation. If he had told Castiel the truth, that might well have explained his sudden absence and he wasn’t sure Dean would have taken that well at all.

“No.”

“Dean.”

“ _What_ , Sammy?” Dean finally pulled himself away from the window, banging his hand against the wall. “God, he’s driving me crazy.” He admitted at last. “There’s just something about him... something that draws me in.” Dean seemed to have drifted off with his own thoughts again.

“May I make a suggestion?”

“No.”

“Dean.” Sam started. He completely ignored the scowl that was aimed directly at him.

“I said no.”

“Alright I won’t, but you might want to know about something weird that happened to us at the coffee shop.” Sam said slowly. Dean’s ears suddenly pricked up.

“What?”

“Just something that got me wondering, is all.” Sam mused, pulling a face when he realized maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned it at all. Dean was already pacing again at the thought of Castiel going away for a couple of days. Sam should probably not deliberately throw more kindling on to that particular smouldering fire, but it was too late to recant now. Dean was waiting for details. “Well, it might be nothing, but this dude was all up in his face.”

“Yeah?”

“Like.” Sam struggled for an appropriate sentence. “Like he wanted to eat him.”

“What dude? Where?” Dean demanded, curling his fists up in agitation.

“Dean. Chill. He’s probably not even there anymore, and Castiel is safe now.”

“I’ll rip his fucking head off.”

Sam was watching his brother with some modest level of amusement while he tried to fight against his baser instincts. He had seen Dean lose control before, and he was all too used to having to leave one life behind and move on to try and start another.

This was different though.

More intense.

Sam tried to make light of it with a hollow attempt to distract him.

“Aah. You’ve only known him a day, and you’re already prepared to defend his honour.” Sam prodded him. “That’s actually kinda cute.”

“Fuck off.”

“Again with the expletives. Always so articulate, Dean. I have no idea how Castiel manages to resist you.”

“Sam, seriously.” Dean looked as though he might actually hurt him if he didn't stop, so Sam backed up a bit and continued to tell his brother what had been bothering him all evening.

“I don’t really know why, but it got me to thinking. I just found it all a bit disturbing, and Castiel had this little box of pills he told me were like Xanax, or something, but there was no label and he only popped them after he got settled, and it was just before that anyways.” Sam shook his head. “I’m probably reading too much into it.”

Dean hesitated, trying to put together all the fractured pieces that had accumulated in his memory since he introduced himself to Castiel that morning. It seemed like a lifetime ago already, and Dean knew he would never be able to get Castiel out of his head, whether he returned his affections or not. Sam would probably put it all down to sexual frustration and fifteen years of dead ends, but Dean didn’t think so. He had sensed the bulb at the base of his knot pulse and threaten to swell when Castiel had looked into his eyes, and the caress of his warm breath against his skin felt like the sweet redemption of gentle rain on an arid desert.

He didn’t pass those images on to Sam.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel was breathless and jumpy by the time he made it to the entrance. He wished now he had taken Sam up on his offer of walking him to the stop earlier. The encounter in the crowded coffee bar had left him feeling very vulnerable and he had to wait in the bus line for what seemed like an eternity. To add to his distress, no matter what he did, he just couldn't get Dean Winchester out of his head.

There was something so profound about the way Dean looked at him earlier. Clearly he wasn’t straight, but he hadn’t seemed put off by the fact Castiel assumed he was a beta. The implications of it all had Castiel pondering the whole incident while he headed down the stairs. He allowed himself just one beautiful memory of being pressed up close to Dean and suddenly felt something warm spread across his ass and down between his thighs. He froze in panic and tried to turn to see if it was what he thought it was. He hesitantly dabbed one hand against the back of his legs.

“Shit.” He muttered, making his way to the bathroom as quickly as he could without arousing too much suspicion. He locked himself in one of the stalls and removed some of his clothing. Castiel anxiously examined the patch of shimmering oil and lifted it up to his face. There was something sweet about it, but it wasn’t overpowering. He felt around in his back pack for an aerosol.

After a few liberal sprays on the material and then himself, he got dressed and tried to make it to the break room without anyone noticing. He had packed a change of clothes and enough tablets for a couple of days but he didn’t think the new ones were working the way they should. Recent events had confirmed that in abundance. Gabriel occasionally sent him special wads of absorbent padding he said might come in useful, and never to ask where he acquired them, but Castiel hadn't really needed them before. A stray thought played with his subconscious.

_Before Dean Winchester._

Castiel really needed to speak to his brother. They had an unspoken understanding they would only contact each other in an emergency. Gabriel had tried very hard to protect him all these years, and if that meant anonymous and impersonal contact by mail and not much else, then so be it. He was trying to think of somewhere private where he could go to call him. It had been four years since the last time he even heard his voice. The day Castiel discovered their father had passed away.

He hadn’t cried.

Gabriel told him he shouldn't even consider coming home. Everyone presumed he was dead, and it was probably better that way.

 _Better_. Castiel sighed resentfully. Better for who exactly had never really been made clear.

He just remembered all the hateful looks, and the shame he caused them. He hadn’t chosen what he was, but sometimes Castiel was made to feel it was somehow his fault he was different.

The room was still empty, so he pulled out his phone. One finger hovered over the buttons just for a minute as indecision swept over him. No - this was definitely an emergency. He inhaled a deep breath and pressed in the code. It seemed to ring forever. He was about to end the call when he heard a click and a muffled gasp.

: “Castiel?”

: “Hello, Gabriel.”

: “Hey, little brother. Been a long time.” There was a soft pause. “I still miss you.” Castiel heard a small shuffling sound just before Gabriel cleared his throat. “What’s wrong? I would ask if you’re alright, but if you’re calling me then I already know the answer.” Castiel had no idea what came over him in that moment. While he listened to the concern in his brother’s voice, he just collapsed into a fit of dry sobs that made his whole body shake. He heard Gabriel calling his name, but his throat was so tight he couldn’t form a single word. He rubbed at his eyes and inhaled a shaky breath.

: “Sorry. I’m sorry. I’ve just had one of those days.” Castiel heard his brother force a bitter laugh.

: “Yeah, well. You’re lucky it’s just the one day. Things could be a lot worse, Castiel.” Gabriel said seriously. “What can I do to help? Did somebody find out?”

: “No. Well, I don’t think so but - ” Castiel hesitated, biting at the skin of his lip. He formed the sentence on his tongue several seconds before he could bring himself to say it. “I met someone.”

: “Castiel.” Gabriel cried in despair. The force of it made the static vibrate against the side of his face. “You know you can’t do that. The only way to stay safe is to be alone. I told you that.” Castiel couldn’t argue. He knew his brother was right. He could so easily be betrayed and abused.

: “Yes, Gabriel. I know what you said. I’ve spent over half my life believing it, and all it did was turn me into a paranoid pill-popping mess.”

: “Stop.” Gabriel said firmly and Castiel still obeyed without question, even after all this time. “Just stop right there. Everything I ever did was because I love you. I couldn’t stand the thought of you being taken against your will. I still have nightmares about it.” So do I. Castiel thought sadly, but he kept quiet. “Anyway, what about those new suppressants I sent you? Any good?”

: “Actually... no, Gabe. That’s part of the reason I’m calling. It’s getting worse.” He paused. “Then tonight I just leaked everywhere.” Castiel could feel his stomach turn at admitting something so personal to a brother he hadn’t spoken to for years, let alone had any personal contact with. “It hasn't been this bad since I was a boy.” He waited for a response, but the other end of the call was disturbingly quiet. He thought he heard a deep sigh, but it might have just been a bad line.

: “Castiel. Something, or _someone_ , must have triggered it. Get somewhere safe tonight and I’ll see what I can find out.” Castiel thought back over the last day to try and figure out when everything started to feel so different. His mind was filled with a fading image of Dean Winchester pulling his bloody finger from his mouth and touching him for the first time.

 _That_ was the moment.

: “Oh.” He gasped at the realization.

: “Castiel?”

: “Yes. Sorry. Yes, I’m here. I’m at work, so safe as I can be from the rest of the world for now, if that’s what you mean. I’m not on duty ‘til tomorrow so I can just hide out here. I don’t think anyone will check.”

: “Okay, that’s good. Stay there, and don’t go anywhere alone. I’ll contact you as soon as I fully understand what’s happening.”

: “Alright. Thank you. Gabe?” There was another pause. “Have you ever heard of a beta, or even an alpha, who would value someone like me?”

He could almost hear Gabriel frown into the phone.

: “ _Never_. I’m sorry to say it, Castiel but I haven’t. Why do you ask?”

Castiel could feel himself blush at the warm memory of Dean’s hands on him. How he had longed to return that touch, but remembered himself and pulled away. He was almost glad he had. If he secreted such a substantial amount of slick in front of Dean, he would never be able to speak to him again. Dean would want nothing more to do with him, and then he would be completely alone again.

: “No reason.” Castiel lied. “I was just wondering.”

: “Okay. Be careful, Castiel. I’ll speak to you soon.”

He heard the line go dead before he even had a chance to thank Gabriel again, or to say goodbye. Castiel pocketed the phone and stood up. When he opened the door, he caught a glimpse of his reflection in one of the mirrors screwed to the back wall.

He looked dreadful. His dark hair was damp and disordered. His clothes were all messed up, and his skin was unnaturally pale and drawn save for a few seemingly random patches of flushed pink skin that felt like they were on fire. Castiel rubbed one hand across his face and moved slowly towards the wash basins with weary steps. He ran the cold tap and splashed handfuls of water onto his cheeks and smeared some over the curve of his throat.

He hesitated, just staring at himself in the glass. Castiel slipped his shirt down over one shoulder and twisted his head to one side until he could see a pale strip of unbroken flesh stretching all the way up to just underneath his ear. His pulse was throbbing under the surface of his skin. He watched the movement of blood rush through his veins, heart pumping faster and faster when he imagined Dean’s penetrating gaze staring back at him over the rise of his shoulder.

He pictured Dean's strong arms circling his waist and pulling him back against a hard cock. Opening his mouth and licking a curved tongue over those keen tapered points just before he growled out his dominance and sank them deep into his omega's neck. Castiel moaned shamefully when the vision blurred his delicate senses. He had to reach for the edge of the basin to steady himself. Everything started to fade as his body shuddered in response.

So much of his life had been spent tormented by terrible waking nightmares of what would happen to him if he was ever claimed like that. The pain and the fear of being so powerless against the possessive strength of a male alpha who only wanted to use his body and subdue his will.

Just for that one single moment, belief in everything Castiel had ever known faltered at the mouthwatering thought of Dean touching him like that.

Α ✫ Ω


	8. Chapter 8

It took Castiel a few breathless minutes to regain his composure, checking himself one final time in the mirror before he felt ready to walk back out. He was trying to think of somewhere he could hole away for the night, so he could be alone and undisturbed. He knew he couldn't possibly go home until he decided what he was going to do. He might run into Dean again, and right now he couldn’t risk being alone with him.

Castiel could no longer be held responsible for the way his body seemed to want to respond to him. He was also very scared of becoming too dependent on that deep voice, and the way his strong arms held back all the fears and made him feel even half-way safe. Gabriel had all but told him he was completely forbidden to see Dean again. Castiel understood he was just looking out for him, but the thought of having to blank Dean out altogether was almost more than he could bear.

Castiel wanted that touch again. He desperately wanted more of the way Dean made him feel, but Gabriel was probably right. It was best to just try and forget he even existed. Castiel’s heart sank at the thought of trying to erase those beautiful eyes from his memory. He sighed, wondering if years of denying himself any form of human contact would ever feel like it had all been worth it. He knew what his brother would say.

He kept him safe all this time. Castiel owed him _something_.

The need to mate had never really made a whole lot of sense to him anyway. Logic told Castiel he should be determined that no one, not even someone who looked and smelled as good as Dean Winchester, was going to negate the best part of his life spent running and hiding. Allowing most of his family to think he was dead was one thing, but to risk being exposed for what he was.

Well. That was something else entirely.

He was pulled from a string of distracted thoughts by a gentle hand on his shoulder. He jumped out of habit rather than anything else, and the relief was obvious on his face when he realized it was Jess.

“Hello, Castiel.” She said lightly, quickly removing her hand so he wouldn’t start panicking again. “What you up to?” He was immediately on the defensive, and looked at her like she had caught him doing something he shouldn’t.

“Nothing.” He replied, but she just smiled at him.

“I meant, why are you here? You’re not on tonight, remember?” Jess said kindly. Castiel always got the impression she thought he needed to be managed delicately in case he suddenly snapped and went postal. He knew she was probably just trying to be nice, but he wished he could tell her the truth. He was phobic, not mentally unstable.

And it certainly wasn’t unjustified. He didn’t want to be afraid.

“Yes, I know. I just really needed to be somewhere quiet tonight.”

Castiel didn’t think he had ever said more than a few words to her at a time, and now she seemed far too interested in what he was doing, and even that made him nervous. As much as he liked Jess, he was trying to edge away and out of conversation distance. He was still feeling the exhausting effects of his unexpected vision from earlier and was frightened she might notice his unusual scent and make some comment he would have no response for.

“You can use the admin office if you want. It’s sure to be empty at this time of night, and it’s pretty quiet. You’re not really supposed to sleep here you know, but honestly, you don’t look so well. I promise I won’t snitch on you.” Her smile was actually warm and genuine this time.

“Thanks.” Castiel whispered quietly, walking away with his pack slung across one shoulder. He wasn’t used to people being so kind to him without wanting something in return. Dean had been unnecessarily patient with him all day, even when Castiel had pushed him away, and now this woman he hardly knew seemed to be looking out for him too. It was only a matter of minutes before that familiar sense of despondency came over him again. Dean probably wouldn't have been so wonderfully understanding if he knew the truth.

Castiel felt everything twist inside him with the realization Dean Winchester was just an impossible dream.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean was sitting with his legs propped up on the table and his feet crossed together, a large book resting on his lap. Sam finally closed his computer and got up to go to bed. It was almost midnight, and he would have to go job hunting again in the morning so he decided to call it for the day.

“Right. I’ll see you in the… what’s that?” Sam asked with sudden interest, when he spotted the worn leather book in front of his brother. He hadn’t even noticed Dean leave the room. “Are you actually _reading_?” Sam asked incredulously. Dean bit his tongue to stop himself from retaliating.

“Hmm.”

“Hey, I know what that is. You haven’t had that out for years.” Sam continued. “Not since you were getting ready for that first hunt. Do you remember? Why on earth are you..? Oh.” He deliberately stopped his mouth from moving any more when he realized the significance of the sudden reappearance of _that_  book. “Dean.” Sam attempted gently. “You know you’re only gonna make yourself feel worse.” Dean knew exactly what he meant, but he carried on reading anyway.

“I just needed to check something.” He murmured vaguely. Sam knew it was pointless trying to dissuade him, regardless of the fact he was probably just going to be disappointed again.

“You know that lore by heart, anyway.” Sam paused for a second. He had to say it. “Castiel?” Dean nodded and licked his finger before turning the corner of a particularly worn page.

“I really think he is, Sam. I can’t get him out of my head. He’s only been gone a couple of hours and it’s driving me insane.” Dean slammed the book shut in frustration. The mere mention of his name had seemed to set him off again. He stared at the front cover where two definitive symbols were joined together. “I never wanted _anyone_ the way I want him.” Dean covered his face with his hands and tipped his head back in distress. “I just don’t understand why he would hide it.”

“I think I do.” Sam said quietly.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel didn’t even remember falling asleep, but he awoke suddenly in the middle of the night. He only had a thin blanket to cover himself and had used his backpack as a pillow from necessity. It definitely wasn't the most comfortable sleep he'd ever had, but he felt reasonably safe, and it had given him some time to think about whether he could trust Dean enough to tell him the truth. There was something so honest behind his eyes that made Castiel want to pour his heart out to him.

The last thing he consciously remembered was Gabriel’s voice in his head, and the wave of defiance that had risen up when he thought about how his brother always seemed to have made all his decisions for him, even if _he_ thought they were wrong.

This one Castiel definitely thought was wrong. Gabriel could never understand how safe he felt in Dean’s arms.

_How could something that felt so right ever be wrong?_

That was the one thought in his mind when he was stirred awake. Castiel had no idea how long he'd actually been asleep, but soon realized he was only roused from it by a gentle but insistent knocking on the office door. He had taken the precaution of locking it just in case he had another panic attack in the night, or even more disturbing, a dream about Dean that would have left him flustered and soaked in slick. He had no desire for anybody to see him like that.

Castiel opened one eye and glanced at the clock. It was just after two a.m. He tried to ignore it but it could have been an emergency, so he held his breath and waited to see if it came again. He could hear a soft voice calling him from the other side. He thought he recognized it, but he was still half-asleep so he sat up and rubbed his eyes. He eventually threw off the cover and stood up. His legs still felt a little shaky and he suddenly came over very cold.

“I’m coming - hang on.” Castiel offered, with a wide yawn. He pulled it open just enough to be able to look out. The bright light from the corridor hurt his eyes when he squinted at the shadow in the doorway. “What is it?”

“I’m really sorry to wake you, Castiel, but there’s a very persistent man outside and he wouldn’t go away until he made me promise to give you this.”

“Jess?” Castiel asked, his voice still dulled by sleep. Jess didn’t say anything else. She pushed a small piece of paper through the door and Castiel took it slowly before retreating back into the room with a quiet murmur of thanks. He was still completely mystified as to why anyone would care enough about him to send a message at such an ungodly hour but it made him a little curious so he flicked on the small desk lamp and opened it with trembling fingers. His heart almost stopped beating when he read two words that looked like they were hurriedly scrawled on impulse.

_Come outside._

Castiel just stared at it in surprise and read it again just to make sure that waking him from sleep so abruptly hadn't caused him to hallucinate. He could feel the warning signs of anxiety tighten his chest, heaving in a few fractured breaths when he peered out into the darkness. He couldn’t really see anything, so he pushed the blind back some more and pressed his face up against the pane. Castiel jerked his head back when he recognized the shaded outline. He quickly wrapped his jacket over both shoulders and slipped out the fire exit.

“Dean?” Castiel blinked when he got outside. “What the hell are you doing?” Dean’s smile suddenly faded at that. Castiel hadn't responded in quite the way he'd hoped. “Sorry.” Castiel apologized, gripping the piece of paper more tightly. “I didn’t mean that the way it came out. I just didn’t expect to see you again tonight.” He whispered, a stream of breath escaping his lips when he looked up at the sky. “This morning, even. Do you have any idea what time it is?” Dean nodded and pressed his lips together.

“I couldn’t sleep. My head was all over the place earlier.” Dean moved in closer. “I was thinking about you.” Castiel could feel the warmth rising up in his chest. He was pretty certain he was blushing. Dean seemed to hesitate when he realized he might have said too much again. He was staring up at the top of the building, sticking the ends of his fingers down the edge of his pockets. “So - I thought I’d come have a look where you work, seeing as you like to spend so much time here.”

Dean was pretending he was just teasing, but there was something pained in the way he said it. It looked like he was trying very hard to smile. Castiel couldn’t say a single thing in response. He was completely overwhelmed by the idea Dean had been unable to sleep just because of him. He couldn’t possibly have meant that seriously. Maybe he was trying to get a reaction out of him for his own entertainment.

He certainly wouldn’t have been the first.

Castiel was fascinated by the way Dean was twisting his thumbs through his belt loops, desperately trying to keep his hands from flying forward and catching Castiel around the waist.

“Like I said, it’s nothing personal, Dean.” Castiel stammered awkwardly. Now he knew for sure his cheeks were pink. He could feel them burning when Dean seemed determined to stare longingly at his mouth.

“I know.” Dean continued to edge closer, and Castiel wanted to back away but he couldn’t seem to move his feet at all. “Can I ask you something?” Dean’s voice was quiet. He looked so shy when he leaned his body in towards Castiel. Dean could hear the sound of irregular breaths passing through those slightly parted lips, drawn in by the luring scent of Castiel’s body. There was no way Dean could have stopped himself now, even if he wanted to. “’Cause I feel like I’m losing my mind here. I need to know, Cas.” Dean pleaded with him as much with his eyes, as with his mouth. He didn’t think he could take any more maybes and second guesses, so he just asked him outright - caution be damned. “Could there be… _something_ … here between us, or am I imagining it?” Castiel felt his whole body go cold and he couldn’t breathe. Dean initially took it as rejection, but he had to be sure. “ _Am_ I imagining it?” He asked with a sigh, waiting for Castiel to shoot him down and tell him it was all in his head. Dean inhaled a deep breath when Castiel shook his head silently and turned his face away. Castiel thought his heart was going to burst. He was all too used to feeling scared, but this was something else he never felt before. He could hear his own blood pumping in his ears and sense his body shivering with anticipation. Dean made it abundantly clear he wanted to touch him again and moved in like he was subconsciously circling injured prey. “Has anyone ever kissed you before?” Castiel’s eyes opened wide. He hadn't expected that and hesitated just for a moment before biting at his lip and shaking his head again. Dean studied him from underneath the cover of his eyelashes before taking one last purposeful step. He was so close to Castiel, he could almost feel the warmth radiating from his body. “Close your eyes.” Dean said softly. Castiel had lost complete control of all his motor functions the moment Dean had moved in on him, and was just staring blankly at him.

“I can’t.” Castiel whispered at last. He couldn’t move at all, and even fulfilling such a simple request seemed impossible when Dean was looking at him like that.

“Cas, close your eyes.” Dean repeated, lifting one hand and gently brushing it down Castiel’s face. His eyelids fluttered shut under Dean’s palm.

Castiel's mouth was slightly open and his head was tipped back, leaving the skin of his throat exposed. Dean had to fight with everything he had to stop himself from losing control completely and licking a thick wet stripe of desire all the way up to the line of his jaw. Dean took a moment to seal that image in his memory forever. He didn’t think he had ever seen anything so beautiful, and yet so fragile, in his entire life. Dean dipped his head and touched their mouths together for the first time with a pure and reverent kiss. He could feel something wonderful spread across his lips and make his whole body tingle like he was waking up from a long, deep sleep and going back out into the light again. It was so utterly consuming, everything else around him just seemed to fade completely out of existence for that one single moment in time.

When Dean pulled away, he saw that Castiel still had the same blissful expression caressing his face. His tongue slipped part way out of his mouth as he chased the taste of Dean on his lips, and his eyes slowly began to open. They just stared at each other. Castiel seemed to be lost in some hazy daydream, gazing at the curve of Dean’s mouth like he was trying to hold on to the memory of how it felt against his own.

Dean was just about to say something else, when Castiel suddenly seemed to be pulled from abstraction. He reached up to grab Dean firmly around the jaw, launching his entire body forward and pushing another kiss against him. This one was frantic and desperate, and absolutely impossible to resist. Castiel was humming into Dean's mouth and pawing at his shoulders like he never wanted to let him go.

Dean responded at once, forcing his long wet tongue deep between the line of Castiel’s lips, and reaching down low to spread both hands across his back. Dean lifted him completely off the ground, and Castiel let his legs slip seamlessly around Dean’s waist. He was pushed back by the force on his mouth where they were still attached to each other. Castiel felt his back thud against the wall behind him. Dean continued to drive his lower body against Castiel with as much restraint as he could manage over the absolute deluge of sensations rushing through his veins. He could feel an unquenchable fire curling inside him with each fresh inhalation of pheromones and omega slick exuding from every pore. Castiel tasted even better than he imagined, and he had imagined it a lot. All of his fantasies were nothing compared to the reality of letting himself drown in that sweet heady essence that was everything Dean had ever wanted.

As soon as Dean touched their lips together, something primal awakened in Castiel and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He felt the hands move lower and Castiel was lost to the possessive grope of them spreading across his ass while Dean rutted up against him. He didn’t even seem to have any conscious control over his response to Castiel’s potential submission. It was in his nature to show how much he wanted to dominate every part of Castiel and take him for his own. Castiel was more than prepared to let him. He didn’t think he ever wanted anything so badly in his life. Castiel was panting breathlessly when Dean reluctantly released his mouth and held him back just so he could look at him.

“God, you taste good.” Dean smiled at him, green eyes shining in the darkness. Dean was swaying Castiel in his arms where he was holding him around the waist, dipping his head again to nuzzle his face against the soft skin of Castiel’s throat. He never imagined he was secretly being marked with a unique alpha scent, and now everyone would know he was going to belong to Dean.

Α ✫ Ω


	9. Chapter 9

Castiel blinked, slowly recovering from the irrepressible compulsion that caused him to respond so passionately to a single touch of Dean’s lips against his own.

“I’m so sorry, Dean. I don’t know what came over me.” He gasped in a stunned whisper.

Dean had taken all his breath away with the force of the desperate kiss he had pushed against him. His whole body was burning with a heat that seemed to come from deep inside him and there was no longer any fear. Dean was breathing hard, refusing to let go of Castiel completely. He moved one hand down discreetly to adjust himself. He had never been so easily stimulated by just a kiss and he didn’t think it was likely to go down any time soon when he was still so close to Castiel.

“You’ll get no complaints over here, Cas. You alright?” Dean asked, licking his lips and stroking his thumb in small circles over Castiel’s stomach. He could feel all the muscles tense where he touched him. Dean was almost certain he knew exactly what had come over him, but he didn’t dare to raise that issue after such a beautiful moment. He could never have hoped Castiel would be so responsive to his advances, and now he knew what the inside of his mouth tasted like, he didn’t think anything else would ever compare. Castiel nodded, a blush quickly spreading over his cheeks and down the curve of his neck. He was still trying to understand how he had gone from being terrified of Dean, to wanting to let him lick him all over. The anxiety and restlessness no longer seemed to have any hold over him when they were together and that alone would have been enough, but he was still scared of letting himself need someone. Wanting was one thing, but needing was much more dangerous and if he let that happen again, Castiel knew he would be lost. “I know I probably shouldn’t have just turned up like that, but I got to thinking I really needed to see you.” Dean said, when he leaned in again, the words vibrating across the small space between them. There was no longer any doubt in his mind.

Castiel _was_ the one he had been looking for all his life.

He could still smell and taste him, and Dean was sure he could almost see an inner light in Castiel that burned only for him. It always seemed to glow a little brighter when he held him. Dean had no intention of freaking him out by giving Castiel any details of what it was exactly that caused him to go into full-on stalking mode, but the reaction had been enough to convince him, and now nothing would persuade Dean otherwise. He had to have him.

“I don’t understand why you would want me.” Castiel murmured quietly. It hadn’t really been said to elicit a reply, but Dean gently moved one hand up to touch the side of his face, and stroked the soft cheek with his palm. Dean dragged his thumb back to Castiel's mouth to dip it just over the edge, running it seductively along the inside of his bottom lip.

“Cas. You’re fucking beautiful.” Dean breathed against his skin. "Why wouldn't I want you?"

Castiel could feel his body fighting to reach out and let Dean kiss him some more, but he resisted with everything he had. He didn’t think he would be able to stop Dean from doing anything he wanted to him, and he wasn't going to allow himself to be taken quite so easily. Dean was handsome and confident. He could have anyone he wanted. Castiel was struggling to accept he really meant that, but he whispered a broken _thank you_ anyway. A lifetime of denying himself such wanton pleasure had left a deep scar.

Dean sensed his unease and forced himself to back off a bit. The last thing he wanted was to scare Castiel away now his claim was secured, even though Castiel was still completely unaware of it. It was shameful, but Dean couldn’t have stopped himself. He had been driven mad with desire as soon as all doubt had been cast aside when Castiel’s body responded the way it did, unable to resist all the natural urges to please a potential mate.

Castiel just needed time. Time and patience. All of which Dean was prepared to devote to him in abundance when he considered what the reward would be.

“I better let you get back in.” Dean said softly, rubbing both hands up and down Castiel’s arms to stop him from shivering with the cold. He allowed himself one last inhalation of his scent before he dragged a lingering gaze along the length of Castiel’s body and subconsciously sucked his tongue behind sharp teeth. “Can I… see you again? Later, maybe?” Dean stammered awkwardly, running his fingers through his hair. He suddenly felt very insecure, painfully aware he sounded like he was fifteen again and asking for a first date.

Castiel hesitated before giving him a shy nod, gaze faltering before he looked down at the ground again. Dean didn’t feel the need to say anything else when he watched Castiel lift up one hand in a weak farewell before he started to move away. He had to edge back slowly and reach blindly behind him to open up the exit door again. The cold air had made it more than a little obvious the seat of his shorts was soaked through completely. He knew Dean was still watching him while he managed to ease his way back through the gap and made sure it was firmly closed behind him. Even with the suppressants, that kiss had turned him on so much, his scent was like an open invitation.

He might not have been quite so frightened of Dean anymore, but Castiel was still absolutely petrified by the thought of being raped and claimed by someone else. Dean waited in the shadows for a few minutes longer. He couldn’t remove the smile that constantly pulled at his mouth now he realized all his hopes had not just been deluded optimism. Not only did he know for sure exactly what Castiel was, but he had also returned his kiss and agreed to see him again.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam only got out of bed to get a glass of water when he realized Dean wasn’t there. His bedroom door was swung wide open and the light was still on. He looked around at the sorry state of the apartment and shook his head. Sam decided right there Dean should definitely have his own corner. He sighed wearily and started to tidy away the empty beer cans and scrunched up chocolate wrappers, when his eye caught the cover of the book Dean had been reading so avidly earlier that evening. He didn’t think Dean had even kept it, let alone know where it was, but it had meant a lot to him once. Sam wandered over to the table and traced one finger over the familiar leather binding and examined the two embossed sigils pressed in to the front. One alpha, one omega, twisted together in perfect circles.

Dean had always believed in the lore of their kind, and had read that book from cover to cover at least twice. He never once questioned the authenticity of any of the sources and would happily bore Sam rigid when they were younger about true mates and pair-bonds, and how an alpha would just sense when he had found the other part of his soul. Sam never had quite so much faith in it and only humoured Dean before out of loyalty and the occasional threat of violence. He loved his brother very much, but underneath it all he was a hopeless romantic, and Sam knew Dean would be lost completely if he was wrong about Castiel.

The book had been left open. Dean had turned it face down so he didn’t lose his place. Sam aimlessly picked it up and scanned the pages Dean had earmarked by turning over the top corner. Sam already suspected his brother was convinced he had finally found what he was looking for in Castiel, but didn’t think that was all there was to it. Dean had clearly been reading the chapter that detailed the subconscious responses of a true mate if the alpha presented their intentions, and now Sam fully understood the reason for Dean’s unexpected absence.

It was a test. He wondered if Castiel had passed.

He was about to turn the page, when he heard the distinctive sound of keys jangling in the lock. Sam hastily replaced the book and pretended not to have noticed it while he continued to clear away the mess. Dean looked surprised to see him still up, his eyes darting over to where he was sitting earlier. He seemed satisfied nothing had been touched and gave Sam a cursory glance.

“Thought you were in bed.” Dean sniffed indifferently, tossing the keys on to the table. He knew what time it was, and Sam must have been dying to ask him where he'd been, but he wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction just yet. There were a few moments of heavy silence while Sam watched his brother try to squeeze by so he could deposit his wallet and cell phone on the counter. Dean was very close when he moved past him and Sam caught a familiar hint of vanilla.

“Where have you been?” Sam asked, as casually as he could. He absolutely knew Dean must have had some form of contact with Castiel from his scent alone, but he was also flushed and seemed to have a permanent smile fixed to one side of his mouth. Sam knew the answer before Dean admitted to it.

“I was with Cas.”

Sam leaned his head towards him and inhaled again, eyeing Dean suspiciously. If he smelled of Castiel, then he very much supposed Castiel smelled of Dean, and to Sam that could only mean one thing.

“You smell different. _What did you do?_ ” Sam whispered slowly, a disturbing thought coming to him. His brother didn’t answer straight away and Sam started to feel a dull ache of warning. “Dean? Did you _mark_ him?” Dean ran his tongue between his lips and hesitated when he looked away. He gave his brother an almost imperceptible nod. Sam exhaled a long breath. “You shouldn’t have done that... not without telling him.” Sam was many things, but when it came to respect and equality, his steadfast morals were definitely right up there at the top of the list. “It’s not right.”

“He’s mine.” Dean said suddenly, and Sam was alarmed by the way he used his status to make a point. He had never done that before. Dean was one of those rare alphas who prized a male omega above all else, but that made him sound just like all the rest. Those Dean had always held in contempt for seeing them as worthless male bitches that were only good for one thing. They were rarely claimed for life.

“He’s also a human being.” Sam had that look of crushing disappointment he only ever seemed to reserve for Dean. “You’re not like that.” He added quietly. “Don’t lose what you are just because you’re driven by the need to mate him.”

Dean was breathing heavily, trying to push away an inherent instinct to assert his right to take an omega without their consent. Sam had a point. He had always despised anyone that couldn’t see someone like Castiel for what he really was. A beautiful and delicate lost paragon of perfection in a world that could never appreciate him. Dean shook his head and blew his cheeks out while the desire to control slowly faded.

“You don’t understand.” Dean murmured sorrowfully. He couldn’t explain how it felt to have every waking thought consumed by the need to have Castiel close to him after he had spent a lifetime searching. Every minute that passed without him seemed like forever. “I’m not gonna let anyone else touch him.”

“Dean.” Sam sighed. “No one else would get the chance. He hates being touched. You’re the only one who could even get close. Don’t you think that means something?” Sam asked, attempting to calm his brother down enough for him to start making decisions with his brain instead of his knot. “I really don’t think you need to be concerned about that.”

Dean finally met Sam’s gaze.

“I need to take care of him. I _want_ to take care of him.” He repeated. Sam thought there was something desperately tragic about the way Dean’s eyes seemed to glaze over when he thought about the possibility of never being able to have the only thing he had ever wanted. His heart went out to him, but Sam couldn't ignore the fact he had shown little consideration for what Castiel wanted. He tried to bite back a sudden spark of anger. Dean had acted purely out of instinct, and it wasn’t something Sam ever expected to see. He had always been so appreciative of the fact his brother was different.

“But I told you earlier he probably wants to hide it because he's scared, and you just went straight after him anyway. You selfish bastard.”

“Come again?” Dean gaped at him in surprise.

“Did you even think about how you might have put him at risk?”

“What? No I haven’t.” Dean screwed up his nose to illustrate just how mortally offended he was by the suggestion he would ever do anything to jeopardize Castiel’s safety. “If anything, he’s off limits now anyway because he smells of me.” The proud smirk quickly faded when Dean saw the look of stunned abhorrence on his brother’s face.

“Dean, you stupid fuck.” Sam forced out through his teeth. “That’s not going to protect him forever.” Dean fell silent. He thought hard about what Sam was saying. He hadn’t actually considered he might have stirred something in Castiel that he'd managed to subdue for years, and now he wouldn’t be able to hide. Dean dropped his head in his hands.

“I just. I didn’t… think. Shit.” He muttered something between his fingers where they were pressed against his mouth.

“Dean. If you really believe you want to claim him, then I'll support you all the way. Regardless of what other people might think.” He said quietly. Sam never forgot the name calling and the looks of disgust that had accompanied Dean all the way through high school. Sam even helped him to scrape _faggot lover_  from the front of his gym locker in tenth grade, but Dean never pretended to be something he wasn’t and Sam had always admired him for that. Maybe he didn’t tell him often enough. “But you need to man up and be honest with him, or you might risk losing him forever. Let Cas make that decision for himself.” Sam rested one large hand on Dean’s shoulder. “And if you don’t tell him, I will.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel still felt unsteady and light-headed when he crawled back under the blanket after changing his clothes for the second time that evening. He was just about to settle down to try and go back to sleep, when he noticed a small bright dot of light blinking intermittently in the darkness. He sat up with a start when he realized it was coming from his cell. He stretched his arm out and pulled it towards him with the tips of his fingers. Castiel rubbed his eyes and squinted at the screen when he flipped it open. He was surprised to see there was a voicemail. He opened it and saw it was from Gabriel. He hadn’t really expected him to get back to him quite so quickly, and certainly not in the middle of the night, but Gabriel was thorough if nothing else and had always been clinically obsessed with keeping Castiel locked away. He wondered sometimes if it was from love or shame.

Maybe he would never know.

Castiel felt a bit guilty knowing it must have been sent when he was still outside being shamelessly mauled by Dean. His heart started to beat wildly while he listened to the recording and absorbed every word. He felt sick to his stomach before it had even finished, closing his eyes while he let the hard truth sink in. Gabriel told him it was likely he had been targeted by an unmated male alpha, and that meant his _condition_ , as Gabriel so condescendingly called it, like it was some kind of contagious disease, was no longer a secret. He would be in constant danger and he needed to leave as soon as possible.

_Unmated._

That was the word that kept swimming around in Castiel’s head. It had been the foundation of his fear for so long, he couldn’t remember his life without it.

So. Dean _was_ an alpha then.

That much was certain, and Castiel felt cold at the thought of how close he had come to letting Dean take him. All the doubt and mindless panic had seemed so unimportant when he melted in Dean’s arms, but now it all rushed back into his body with a vengeance at the thought of being claimed and forced into submission. Castiel had really started to believe Dean might actually care about him. Now he was just another one of those terrible things that had haunted his darkest nightmares for close to two decades, but that wasn't what hurt the most.

Something deep inside his heart stung much more than the tears he was forcing back.

Dean had lied.

Α ✫ Ω


	10. Chapter 10

Castiel was trying hard to reconcile the fact Dean had openly deceived him, with really wanting to understand why he might have done it. He hadn’t actually told him a lie outright but now Castiel wondered if Dean had deliberately tried to manipulate him. Make him believe he was safe, when all the time he was planning to take him when he was at his most vulnerable. None of this was even close to the truth, but to Castiel it felt painfully real. He imagined Dean had been trying to ensnare him with the promise of a soft kiss and a gentle caress just to lure him in. To what purpose he could only guess, but Dean was an uncoupled alpha. The very thing that he had always run from. Gabriel had warned him, and he hadn’t listened.

Stupid.

He was just another conquest to someone like that.

Castiel already knew that, and it had never bothered him so much before but now there was an unpleasant pull in his stomach that made him want to curl up into himself. He could feel a dull headache developing just behind his eyes, and rubbed at his temples to try and shift it before deciding to settle down for the night. Castiel tugged the blanket right up to his chin and rested his head on the backpack. His shoulders shuddered, a single tear welling up in one eye. It ran slowly down his cheek. He shivered and shut both eyes tight like that would somehow make the horrible feeling of emptiness go away.

He was alone again.

Dean had started to make him feel like he was actually worth something.

It was all a lie. Castiel thought, wiping at his eyes. Dean must have seen him coming a mile off. He probably thought he was just going to spread his legs for him with a few carefully placed touches and a string of false promises. Castiel had managed to pretend he was alright for so long, it had become easier as the years passed. Now he knew what it felt like to have a warm body pressed up against him and that was worse somehow. He even hoped there might be something there with Dean that could one day erase the pain of all those lonely nights. To have that, and then for fate to take it away again so cruelly made that ache of longing for Dean to hold him close almost unbearable. He would rather have never known it at all.

Castiel hadn't been completely honest with Dean either. He wanted to tell him everything so badly, but so many years of pushing down every emotion and hope had forced it to become second nature.

The dark pressed in against him.

He was still cold.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean groaned when the bright glare of morning sun filtered down and warmed his face. He covered his head with one hand and rolled over on to his side. Sam was already up and watching him intently while he managed to crack open a bleary eye. He quickly closed it again when he realized he was being studied.

“So? Did Castiel pass your stupid test, then?” Sam asked, around a mouthful of pancakes. He completely ignored the fact Dean was pretending to be asleep. Most of his body was draped untidily over one end of the couch. He retreated to its relative safety only a few hours before after Sam tore a strip off him for the way he'd gone after Castiel. Dean hadn’t even bothered to kick off his boots, fighting sleep for as long as he could while his thoughts were a tangled mess of concern. His happiness had soon been dulled by the fact he may have unwittingly put Castiel in danger.

“What?” Dean responded, with a deliberate yawn. He could hear Sam chewing loudly but he didn’t offer any further information. He wanted Dean to try and work it out for himself. “Sam... too early.” Dean grumbled into the cushion underneath his face. “What test?” Sam waited patiently for a few more seconds until it was clear he was just going to have to spell it out. Dean was clueless to subtle hints at the best of times, but when he was half-asleep and consumed by misplaced guilt it was a complete waste of time even trying.

“Dean.” Sam swallowed the last bite. “Why did you really go and see Castiel last night?” Sam stopped him from trying to justify it with a warning glare and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “I know it’s got something to do with that book, and don’t lie to me. I’m still really mad at you.” Dean was wide awake at that and pushed himself up on his elbows. 

“Why you been digging around in my stuff?” He asked bluntly. “I don’t screw with your computer.”

“That’s because you know I password protect it with something you can’t even spell.” Sam spared him a conceited smile. Dean forced himself up, narrowing his eyes at his brother when he wandered over to the table.

“That’s not the point.” He sniffed. “Don’t mess with my stuff, Sammy. It’s personal.” Dean reverently ran one hand over the leather cover before picking it up and leafing through the pages that caused him to bolt out in the middle of the night. He had to know for sure if he was right about Castiel before he lost his mind. “I just wanted to see him.” Dean rolled his eyes in defeat. Sam had always been far too perceptive for his own good and Dean was too knackered to deal with the thousand-yard stare. “I wanted to see him because of this.” Dean continued, turning the book around and passing it to Sam. He was completely silent while he started to read. Dean felt more uncomfortable with every second that passed. Sam’s eyes were flicking from left to right as he absorbed all the information in front of him. After almost two full minutes he inhaled a deep breath and closed it gently before handing it back to Dean.

“Subconscious behaviour. I see.” He said slowly. Dean felt his shoulders drop. Sam had an enviable knack of being able to convey whole conversations without ever saying more than a handful of words. There was a lot more hidden behind that simple response, but Dean could feel the back of his neck getting warm and he was really hoping that would be an end to it for a while. He sighed a short breath of relief but even that didn’t last for long. “I didn’t think you still really believed in all that pair-bonding stuff.” Sam added, just because he couldn’t help himself.

“Do we have to do this now, Sam?” Dean sighed. “I slept like four hours, and quite honestly I think you said more than enough to me last night.” There was a sharp edge to his voice that suggested he was definitely not in the mood to listen to any more of Sam’s bullshit.

“Is that why you marked him? To see if he would _have_ to respond?" He asked suddenly. Dean was so surprised by the directness of it, he just nodded.

“He’s the one, Sam. The only one, and I got no intention of letting him go.”

Sam seemed to be mulling over the specifics of all this recently acquired information. He had to admit there was no way he could dispute the sincerity in Dean’s face when he spoke about how much he wanted Castiel.

“Listen.” Sam said, after a thoughtful pause. “I don’t agree with the way you did it, but I’ve never seen you like this before, so I guess _you_ believe it and that’s all that matters, Dean. I hope he is your true mate. I really do. God knows you’ve waited long enough for him.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam left just after lunch to resume his mission of finding a job in the city before both of them starved to death. He was likely to be out all afternoon, so Dean spent most of it just lying on his bed and allowing himself the odd power nap while he carefully planned how he could tell Castiel the truth without him regressing back to a point where he was reluctant to let Dean touch him at all.

 _God, he missed him_. Dean had been trying to recreate their kiss in his imagination but all that achieved was to give him an insufferable ache between his legs. He distracted himself by picking up the trash and washing up most of the breakfast plates. It was almost dark again by the time he saw Sam come in. His arms were weighed down by a large flat box with a couple of brown paper bags perched on top. His keys were dangling from one side of his mouth.

“Beer and pizza. Knock yourself out.” Sam said, forming the words around clenched teeth.

Dean was still moping about after Castiel and his customary appetite had dwindled to almost nothing. Every time he thought about having to admit to being an alpha, he felt sick but he might manage to force something down. He knew Castiel wouldn’t be finished with his shift until the morning so there was nothing he could do until then. Sam turned to shut the door and Dean almost choked when he reached for the box.

“Cas. You’re back.” Sam said in surprise. “Dean said you were working tonight.”

“Change of plan.” Castiel replied, forcing a soft smile.

“Lucky you. I know Dean will be very happy to see you. I think he wanted to tell you something.” Sam said pointedly, knowing full well that the door was wide open and Dean was definitely within earshot. His tousled head appeared almost immediately and Castiel’s eyes grew wide with fear.

“Yes. I… I’m not feeling well, Sam.” Castiel mumbled. He shivered, putting his head down so he didn’t have to look into Dean’s searching eyes a moment longer. He started to pick mindlessly at the hem of his shirt. His fingers were trembling but he couldn’t seem to make them stop, stomach still churning at the bitter memory of his brother’s message. He just wanted to crawl into bed and shut out the rest of the world and the heartache of being taken in completely by someone he thought was so different. “They sent me home. I didn’t sleep much yesterday and I think I must be coming down with something.” His face was flushed pink and he was sweating so much, the edge of his collar was damp. His lips looked chapped and dry and he kept dipping out his tongue in a futile attempt to moisturize them. Dean was studying him so hard, his nostrils flared wide.

“Cas? You okay? You want me to walk you?” Dean asked quickly. There was something definitely not quite right about him. His scent had changed.

“No. Thank you.” Castiel replied in a broken whisper. He carried on down the hall without looking back. Dean ran after him anyway.

“What’s the matter? Cas?” Dean stressed. Castiel was now visibly shaking while he rummaged around in a pocket for his door key. The burning heat that had started to consume his body without warning was making him distressed and jumpy. “Hey.” Dean said softly. When he reached out to try and calm him, Castiel swiftly jerked his arm away. “Have I done something wrong?”

Castiel could feel the panic surging again and all the sadness and disappointment rose up inside him until he just couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He suddenly blurted out, choking back a desperate gasp. Dean was staring at him in confusion.

“Tell you… what, exactly?” Dean stammered. A rush of possible scenarios cascaded through his mind. He purposely covered the lock with his hand to prevent Castiel from pushing in the key. “Cas? What are you asking me?” Dean reached for him again and this time Castiel was too scared to refuse him. He let Dean slide his arm up so he could curl his fingers around the back of his neck. He made a weak attempt to move away but Dean just pushed his hand into the back of his hair and played with the strands between his fingers. Castiel felt his knees give a little.

“Dean... please let me go.” The request was half-hearted at best. His head was spinning and there was a pulsing in his ears that made everything sound muffled and indistinct while he felt himself sway under the stroke of Dean’s seductive fingertips.

Dean reluctantly pulled back and allowed Castiel to try and open the door but his hand was shuddering aimlessly against the key slot, so Dean gently covered it with his own and helped him to slide it in. Castiel unexpectedly leaned against him, but Dean sensed it was only because he needed the support. Despite his wordless protests of insisting he was fine by waving him away dismissively, Dean helped him into the apartment anyway and positioned him on the nearest seat before he collapsed altogether. Dean leaned over him to make sure he was secure, and there was that scent again. It was still all Castiel, but it was sweeter like syrup and Dean inhaled as much of it as he could while he had the chance. It left a strange sticky taste in the back of his mouth. He knew it was something he had never encountered before.

“Okay?” Dean asked, when Castiel finally looked up at him. He nodded, but he was far from okay and they both knew it. “Sure? ‘Cause you don’t look real good, and if there’s something I can do to help then…” Castiel cut him off. He just couldn’t stop the words from spilling out.

“I think you’ve done enough.” He managed at last. “You lied to me. You should have told me what you were.” Dean jerked back in alarm. So he _did_ know the truth. He had no idea how Castiel could have come to that conclusion on his own and wished he had told him sooner, but there was nothing he could do about that now. Dean finally understood how that must have looked to someone so pure and vulnerable. All Dean had wanted to do was to try and protect him and make Castiel want his claim rather than just taking him, but the damage had already been done by his needless hesitation and his own insecurities. “I really think it's best if I don’t see you anymore.” Castiel whispered.

Dean inhaled a shaky breath. A tight knot of panic twisted inside his stomach and surprised him. He had never known what fear felt like until that moment. The threat of losing Castiel forever made his heart pound against his ribs, and he was desperate to try and make it right.

“I didn’t lie.” Dean said quietly, edging his body closer. He tried to reach for Castiel’s hand where it was resting on top of his thigh, but he pulled it away before their fingertips touched. “I just didn’t tell you. That’s not the same.” Castiel still looked hurt and it almost broke his heart. “I’m so sorry, Cas.” Dean followed the line of Castiel’s gaze until he finally looked up again. “I thought I was doing it for the right reasons. I wanted to protect you.” Dean rarely admitted to failure, and certainly not unless he hid it in an attempt to laugh his fuck ups off as deliberate mistakes. “I was wrong, and I’m really sorry.” Castiel dragged his tongue slowly along his bottom lip while he studied Dean’s eyes. All he could see reflecting back was honesty and desperation and it made his heart flutter. “I would never do anything to hurt you.” Castiel blinked hard. He hadn’t taken a breath for quite some time. “Does that mean I’m forgiven?” Dean dared a hesitant smile. Castiel didn’t say anything, but the sparkle in his eyes when he gave a small dip of his head was the only confirmation Dean needed, and the insecure smile broke into a wide grin. “I swear, Cas. I never meant to mislead you. I was just waiting for the right moment ‘cause I knew how scared you were.”

“Dean, that’s the point. I _am_ scared. All the time.” Castiel was trying to help Dean understand how hard life is for someone who has so much to be afraid of. How could a strong male alpha like him possibly know how damaging that was? “I honestly suspected you might be, but everything about you made me feel so safe, I thought I must have made a mistake. I don’t feel scared when I’m with you.” Dean moved his hand up Castiel's thigh again, and this time he didn’t move until their thumbs were touching. Castiel allowed Dean to curve his hand over his when he leaned closer.

“The first time I saw you, I knew.” Dean breathed against his mouth. “I knew I found my heart.”

“Dean…” Castiel gasped in astonishment. “Please don’t. Don’t say things like that.”

It didn’t matter what was said in that moment. Dean _knew_. He would wait for however long it took for Castiel to realize he meant it to the very core of his soul.

Α ✫ Ω


	11. Chapter 11

“Can I stay with you a little while longer? Just, you know… to make sure you’re okay.” Dean smiled. Castiel tensed. There were a hundred different reasons why he should say no, but he couldn’t seem to form one simple word of refusal when Dean was so close.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” Castiel murmured. The thought of being alone with him had new implications now he knew for sure Dean was an alpha. It left him with shameful images of being pressed up hard against Dean's body and it made his chest hurt. Everything seemed to be closing in on him again and Castiel was burning up so much that slick and sweat were starting to leak out of him at an alarming rate. He tried to stand but his legs threatened to give way. He felt dizzy and sick, and desperate for air. All he could see was a blurry image of Dean reaching out a hand to steady him before everything else around him started to fade away. Castiel lifted one hand up to his head in panic. “Dean… I think I’m going to - ”

His whole body dropped before he got out whatever he was going to say, and Dean only just managed to catch him before he hit the floor. His eyelids were closed but they were fluttering wildly and Dean had to circle one arm around his back to hold him up. His shirt was soaking wet down the line of his spine. Dean could feel his pulse throbbing hard against his hand. Dean called his name and shook him gently. He was totally unresponsive, so he cupped his other arm under both knees and cradled Castiel against his chest. Dean picked him up and ran back down the hall, shouting frantically for Sam to help him.

“Dean! What the hell?” Sam yelled in surprise, when the door was almost snapped from its hinges with the amount of force Dean kicked against it. Sam caught sight of his brother rushing past him with a very limp Castiel in his arms. He shot up and practically fell through into the other room, just as Dean was setting Castiel down carefully on top of his bed and looking at Sam with fear shining through his eyes. “What happened?” Sam asked cautiously, turning to throw a half-eaten pizza slice back in the box. He hurriedly wiped the grease down his jeans.

“He just passed out cold. I don’t know… is he alright?”

Sam shoved Dean out the way and touched the back of his hand against Castiel’s forehead.

“Shit. He’s burning up. Help me get him into bed.” Sam ordered, but Dean continued to stand motionless next to his side with such a blank expression that at any other time probably would have made him laugh. Dean clearly had no idea what to do and his face was lined with concern. “Dean.” Sam pulled hard at his shirt. “Snap out of it. Help me.” Dean shook his head and helped Sam to remove most of Castiel’s outer clothes before covering him tenderly with the sheet. Dean had to consciously force himself not to stare at the beautifully soft planes of pale exposed skin that were now shimmering with pheromone-laden sweat.

“Something’s different.” Dean muttered, moving away from the bed. “I can smell him.”

“You can always smell him.” Sam sighed. His expression soon grew serious when he saw how Dean had subconsciously positioned himself. He was standing rigid against the wall with his arms pressed down at his sides. His fists were curled tightly inside his palms while he fought against every powerful instinct to bite into him. Dean had to force himself to stay back while he waited for the agonizing feeling of want to subside.

“Oh, God. Sammy, you need to keep me away from him.”

Castiel was at the mercy of all the unchecked impulses Dean had unleashed when he marked him. Sam’s first thought was that he must have misheard him. He was staring at Dean over one shoulder. His brother had spent every single minute since they met wanting Castiel close, and now Dean was practically begging Sam to keep them apart. It made no sense.

“What?”

Dean was staring at the shape of Castiel’s body under the thin sheet, his chest hitching with short, fast breaths. Every line and curve was perfect, like he must have been skillfully carved by some unseen hand just for Dean to admire. His eyes flicked over to Sam but he was helpless, so Dean took one last yearning look at Castiel and then with a determined effort, he tore himself away from the wall and hurtled out of the apartment.

Sam heard a breathless _I need a minute_ before the front door slammed shut. He thought about going after him, but he wasn’t sure he should really leave Castiel alone while he was still so fitful and shivery. Sam could feel the amount of heat that was coming off him. He decided to stay, and leave Dean to try and work off whatever the hell it was that had just taken such a crushing hold on him.

Sam gently put his hand against Castiel’s skin again and felt under his ear for a pulse. His heartbeat was fast and erratic, but Sam didn’t think he was sick. He just presumed he must have gone into a natural heat, but there was a persistent and annoying distraction in the back of his mind that wouldn’t go away. Dean was no stranger to how exhausting that could be. His own heats had diminished over the last few years because he never claimed a mate, but the reaction Sam just witnessed was something he had never seen in him before. He was at a loss to understand what it all meant.

Sam picked up Castiel’s clothes and folded them with care. He deposited them on the end of the bed before he went to fetch a cloth he could dampen to try and bring down his fever. He let it run under the tap for a while to make sure it was cold when he heard a weak cry come from Dean’s bedroom. Sam rushed back in to see that Castiel was awake. He was sitting up, eyes frantic as they darted into every unfamiliar corner. He seemed to relax slightly when he saw Sam.

“What happened? Where am I?” Castiel murmured, rubbing hard at his head. Sam smiled softly and sat down next to him on the edge of the bed.

“Here.” Sam said. He eased Castiel back with a careful push against his chest. “Lie down.” Sam rolled up the dripping cloth and placed it across Castiel’s forehead. “You passed out. Dean carried you back here.” Castiel took in a deep breath when he closed his eyes and tipped his head back to wait for the compress to work. As soon as he inhaled, he recognized an unmistakable aroma.

“Is this… Dean’s bed?” He asked quietly. Sam nodded. His scent was all over the sheets and Castiel already guessed as much, but he was still trying to piece together what could have happened. It was all just a clouded blur. He felt a rush of heat inside him when he drew in another perfumed breath and Castiel was powerless to stop the spread of warmth that slid out of him and soaked into the sheet. The humiliation of being so unexpectedly aroused in the presence of a man he hardly knew was overwhelming and he covered his face with his hands. Sam didn't have the same natural alpha senses as his brother and had no idea why Castiel was so upset.

“What’s the matter?” Sam asked innocently. “Do you feel sick?”

Castiel shook his head and reached for Sam’s arm to stop him from fetching a bowl for him to throw up in. Sam was still trying to calm him when he noticed Castiel had soiled the bed with a thick release of slippery oil. Any thread of doubt he still had about Castiel being a true omega was unravelled in an instant. Sam pulled a face before he could manage to consciously stop it. Castiel’s cheeks burned.

“I’m so sorry.” He muttered into his hands. “I couldn’t help it.” Sam felt bad for him. He looked so scared and defenseless.

“It’s fine, Cas. Don’t worry about it.” Sam said kindly, stroking his arm where it was lying motionless on top of the bed. Castiel still flinched at his touch. “I’ll go get some fresh sheets.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Castiel whispered. He turned his face away and buried it in the pillow. He never felt so ashamed.

Sam really wanted to tell him what he thought about it all out of kindness alone. It seemed cruel to let him suffer without giving him some idea of what might be happening to his body. Castiel must have been through a heat before, but this was obviously something more intense than he was used to and Sam was lost for answers. He would have bet his last dollar that as unintentional as it may have been, Dean was responsible. Maybe there was much more value to his pursuit of a lifelong obsession than he imagined.

It was almost twenty minutes before Dean felt calm enough to even come back to the building at all. He had taken a walk around the block to let the cool evening air subdue the fire that burned inside him. Sam was waiting for him at the door when he strode back down the hall. Dean had no idea what to say. How could he possibly even start to explain something he didn’t understand himself? Sam had positioned himself so Dean wouldn’t be able to get past him until he was certain the moment had passed. Castiel kept drifting in and out of consciousness in Dean’s absence, so Sam had changed the bedding and turned the light out. He left the room in darkness to try and encourage him to sleep. He folded his arms across his chest as Dean approached.

“Alright?” Sam asked uneasily. He would never be a match for Dean in strength, but his hazel eyes scanned the length of Dean’s body anyway to assess the level of potential threat he might present. Dean nodded passively without looking up at him. His breathing was certainly calmer but he still seemed restless and was rubbing at the back of his neck with one hand. Sam wasn’t sure if it was because he was too warm or because he had absolutely no idea what was going on. Maybe both.

“How is he?”

Sam moved slowly to one side and let his brother in.

“Sleeping, I think. Leave him, Dean.”

Dean walked cautiously towards his bedroom and waited silently on the threshold to see if Castiel was alright. He could hear the soft whimpers of desperation spill from his lips while he shifted around in bed. Dean stumbled mindlessly forward, only just having enough sense to wrap his hands around the door frame to physically stop himself from getting any closer. His alpha eyes were keen in the shadows, and he could see the soft lines of Castiel’s silhouette when he arched his back and lifted his hips to rub an erection against the sheet draped over the top of him. Most of it had slipped down in his restlessness, and he seemed to be totally unaware of what he was doing. Dean almost lost control again when he heard Castiel breathe his name in the darkness. The dehydration had set in with renewed vigour and he was gasping as he inhaled. Sam had been staying close to make sure Dean kept his distance. When he heard Castiel asking for water, he quickly dipped under his brother’s arm and hurried to his side. He flicked on the night light and carefully picked up the glass he had set by the side of the bed.

“Here, Cas.” Sam said gently, helping him to lift his head from the damp pillow and take a small sip from one edge. Castiel tried to guide it to his own mouth, but he still felt so weak and disoriented that most of it just spilled over his face and down his chin. He swallowed one token mouthful before his eyes closed again. He fell back with a thud and Sam could see how hard he was fighting to stay awake. His lips were moving, but his voice was so quiet Sam had to lean over him just to hear what he was desperately trying to say. Sam inhaled a tight breath when he caught the whispered demand.

“I want Dean.”

Sam frowned with concern and glanced behind him, but Dean was next to him in an instant. Sam held him back with one hand as a subtle warning not to get too close. Dean didn’t know it then, but his behaviour had already started to fill his brother with an inexplicable sense of dread that was starting to pool inside him. Something was very wrong. This wasn't just a regular cycle of heat that Castiel must have experienced before, and the whole disturbing incident bothered Sam much more than he wanted to admit.

“Sam, it’s alright.” Dean said quietly. “He needs me.” Sam was hesitant, but he could see Dean's face was calmer and he seemed much less intimidating than he had done. Sam guessed that whatever had come over him must have passed for now.

“Alright.” Sam murmured, after a tense pause. “If you’re sure, Dean. You seemed real certain you didn’t want to be alone with him earlier.”

“I know. I’m okay now, honestly.”

Sam reluctantly got up to gather the dirty sheets and some of Castiel’s discarded clothes from the floor. He fetched the laundry basket and filled it up with everything that needed to be washed.

“As long as you’re sure you’re alright. I need to go downstairs and set a load going.” Dean nodded with a gentle smile and Sam tucked the basket under one arm. “I won’t be long. Don’t do anything stupid.” He warned, before backing out. Dean heard the front door close. He swallowed an anxious breath while he studied the contours of Castiel’s face. Dean could hardly believe how beautiful he looked just spread out on top of his bed with his eyes closed. He inched towards him and sat down on the edge, just so he could watch him sleep.

Dean was leaning in close to check his temperature, when he felt a forceful urge to get on top of him. He suddenly climbed onto the bed and dropped to all fours to pin one leg either side of Castiel’s hips. His hands were pushing down hard and gripping the sides of the pillow above his head. Dean could see the throb of his pulse through the damp skin on his neck, and the temptation was just too much. He bent his head and dragged a rough wet tongue around the curve of Castiel’s neck and back up into his mouth.

Castiel was now awake and writhing underneath him.

“Make it stop.” Castiel pleaded, pulling back just enough to stare longingly at Dean's mouth. He could see the points of sharp canines peeking out from under his top lip when it twitched. The only thought circling through Dean’s head when Castiel looked at him like that was how compelled he felt to cover him with his body and take a bite out of him. “Please, Dean.” Castiel murmured, pushing his body up in a desperate attempt to press against him. Dean had been rigidly hard from the moment he climbed on top of him and now his dick felt so full and sensitive, he could hardly breathe. He was only just able to hang on to his very last drop of self-control while Castiel was squirming beneath him like that.

“Cas.” Dean forced out, digging his fingers harder into the soft down of the pillow. It brought little relief. “Stop it.” It would be so easy to take him. Just lying there drenched in his own slick, with his delicate little omega cock begging to be touched, but Dean couldn’t do it.

_Not like this._

An impassioned growl vibrated up from deep inside his throat, and Dean scrambled off the bed before he could change his mind. He was standing in the doorway when Sam returned, and Castiel looked so out of it that for one heart-stopping second he thought Dean might have harmed him. He tried to edge his way past when Sam realized he was going to need to change the sheets again.

“Move, Dean. You’re not helping.” Sam spat at him, out of sheer frustration more than anything else. He felt like he was having to babysit two grown men he couldn’t leave in the same room together because he didn’t trust either one of them to keep their hands off each other. He started to strip off the bedding yet again, when Dean seemed to be suddenly pulled from his trance.

“Here. Give them to me. Give it.” He practically snatched the wet sheet from his brother and brought it up to his face. He held it so close to his mouth, he could almost taste Castiel when he breathed it in through his nose.

“Dean!” Sam yelled at him. “Just go wait for the laundry or something. Hurry up. Go.” Sam would have said anything to get Dean out of the apartment again. Even for a minute. He was becoming dangerous, and Castiel was easy prey when he was so fragile. Sam didn’t think he would be able to stop him if Dean decided he couldn’t hold back any longer.

Conscience or no conscience.

 Α ✫ Ω 


	12. Chapter 12

Dean just seemed fixed in position, unable to move at all. His eyes were glassy, chest heaving with deep fragmented breaths that shook his entire body. He was struggling to pull himself free of the need to be near Castiel. He had to get release from everything that was rushing up inside him before he hurt somebody. He lunged out into the kitchen and impulsively swept his arm violently across the counter, sending all the mugs and plates showering down and smashing to pieces. Silver cutlery danced and clattered around his feet when he ripped one of the cupboard doors from its frame like it was made of paper.

Sam found him seconds later, his head resting heavily on the worktop. Both palms were pressed flat over the back of his head and his fingers were locked together to stop him from touching anything else. He finally stood up and surveyed the damage caused by his testosterone-fuelled rampage. Sam knew it was just a response to the pain of not being able to control all the consuming emotions that were causing him to behave so badly. It wasn’t like him.

They looked at each other in silent understanding. Sam just bent down and started picking up the shattered plates.

“Sorry.” Dean said quietly, studying the movement of his brother’s hands. Sam was watching him carefully.

“Dean, maybe you shouldn’t be here.” Sam suggested hesitantly. “Not right now.” He deposited some of the broken pieces in to the trash and dusted off his hands while he waited for a reply.

“You don’t trust me?” Dean asked. He sounded hurt and disappointed. Sam glanced back towards the bedroom.

“Do you trust yourself?”

Dean followed the line of Sam’s gaze. He could hear the rise and fall of soft breaths while Castiel slept again. There were no words to describe the torment of how much he ached to be next to him. He slowly shook his head.

“No.”

Sam knew Dean had nowhere else to go and wasn't sure what to do for the best, so he made an impulsive decision.

“You want to protect him, don’t you?”

“That’s all I want.” Dean sighed. “To make sure he’s safe.” His green eyes had lost their sparkle. They looked dull and lifeless. “No. You know I want more but… that’s all I can hope for right now.” He added sadly. Castiel wasn't ready to give his heart to him just yet.

“Exactly.” Sam gave him an affectionate pat on the shoulder and smiled at him. “I’ll watch Cas. Why don’t you go take his apartment for tonight and see how things look in the morning? It’s only a few doors away and if something bad happens, I promise I’ll come get you.” Dean seemed to be contemplating the suggestion for a second. The alternative was unthinkable. It was a heart-wrenching choice to have to be away from Castiel, but it had to be done until they could figure out why Dean was acting the way he was when it went against everything he believed in. Sam retrieved Castiel’s door key from his pocket and handed it over.

“Yeah, okay.” Dean agreed, after a few moments of quiet soul-searching. “I won’t be able to sleep anyway, and I want him to be safe - even from me.” He opened the door to leave. “Look after him, Sam.”

Sam smiled and sent Dean on his way with the promise he would stay up for as long as he could just to make sure Castiel was alright. He made certain he locked the door behind him and even slid the chain across. He never usually bothered, but something made him feel the need to do it. Sam picked up his laptop and the lore book and set them both down on the table, ready for the long night ahead of him. He was determined to find some answers before Dean returned.

Dean spent many long hours that night just staring out of the window into the infinite blackness of space. They were only a few rooms apart, but it seemed like there was still a vast distance between them. Dean knew his life would have no meaning now until he earned Castiel’s love and claimed him forever.

Sam kept checking in every time he heard some rustle of movement or the sound of his muffled voice as he stirred in his restlessness. He didn’t think Castiel was even aware he was calling out for Dean in the dark. His pitiful cries finally faded away to nothing when he fell back to sleep.

The nightmares returned.

 Α ✫ Ω 

It must have been well past midnight when Dean finally dragged himself away from the window and tried to shut out the images of a bleak world below. A reflection of the way he was feeling deep inside at the thought of having to leave Castiel alone with Sam. Dean was tortured by not being able to sit by his bed and wind their fingers together while he told him everything would always be alright if only Dean was by his side. He just couldn't see any possible alternative while Castiel was still in such a vulnerable state. Dean was ashamed of the way he had given in to his aggression. Only he knew just how close he had come to satisfying all his desires and taking him anyway.

There must have been something else that had triggered his behaviour, and he was desperate for Sam to find some answers. The only thing that had stopped him from complying with Castiel’s broken pleas to make the torment go away, was a swell of protective duty to keep his omega safe. It had come out of nowhere, and pulled him away from Castiel before he had done something he would have regretted as soon as it was over. Dean knew the only way an alpha like him would have been able to scratch the itch of want, was to stick his dick in him and help himself to a chunk of flesh, but that was something that wasn’t even on the table right now.

Dean wasn’t like the others. That was the point.

A life spent on the road had been hard, and every time they moved on, Dean felt like a little piece of him had been left behind somehow. More time wasted, another shed-load of disappointments. He would have given up his search a long time ago if he hadn’t believed with everything he had that his true mate, the one who had once been crafted just for him to worship, was out there somewhere waiting for Dean to set him free. Now he had found him, and Castiel was everything Dean could have hoped for and more, but his fascination was already spiralling out of control. Since the moment he first touched him, Dean hadn’t spent a single minute when his mind hadn't been consumed with wanting to protect and cherish him.

He breathed out a sigh and wandered around the apartment, aimlessly at first. He soon realized there wasn’t much furniture and a noticeable lack of personal items that might have otherwise suggested it was a home, rather than just a place to live for a while. He knew all too well how that went. He couldn’t even remember the last time they had settled in one place for more than a few months at a time. He was consciously fighting the urge to distract himself by jerking off in Castiel’s bathroom just to make the ache go away, but it didn’t seem very respectful when every one of his sexual fantasies was lying in his bed in pain, fear seeping out of every pore like an open wound.

It was too soon to be thinking like that, and it didn’t matter anymore how long he would have to wait for him. Castiel was destined to be his, and his alone. Dean believed that with all his heart, but physical bonding was too much for either of them to even contemplate yet and Dean was still having a hard time accepting just how uncontrollable his reaction to Castiel had been. One single breath of that sweet slick, and he had lost it.

That wasn't who he was, and he would be damned if he wasn’t going to do everything he could to prove he was worthy and let Castiel fall in love with him. He wouldn’t have to be afraid any more. Dean would look after him. Always.

He opened the door to one of the side rooms and his heart almost stopped when he saw Castiel’s bed. The covers had been thrown back in an untidy heap. It surprised him because Dean always took him as someone who would likely be obsessively tidy and particular about his personal space. Maybe he had other things on his mind lately. Dean really hoped it was him.

Next to the bed was a small cabinet with a single drawer that had been pulled open slightly, like he had been searching for something in a hurry and forgotten to close it. His pitcher of water was still there from the night before last, but it was almost empty from hopelessly trying to quench the insatiable thirst that had come over him. Dean couldn’t resist the temptation to get closer. The moment he got near the bed, he could smell the lingering trace of Castiel’s scent in the air, but without his physical presence the effect was very different. Instead of sex it made him think of summer sunshine and fresh beads of heavy rain. He could have drenched himself in every drop of it until he was soaked to the skin. Dean ran his fingertips along the crumpled sheet and imagined Castiel’s dark hair spreading out beneath him on his soft pillow. Looking up at him with his beautiful blue eyes like Dean somehow held all the answers to the universe.

He inhaled again, letting his hand fall before he changed his mind and put it to more constructive use. He reached over, gently slid the drawer open and peered inside. Even in the dim light he could see there were many packets of tablets Dean assumed were suppressants. Some were lying open and some were still in their unmarked boxes. He picked one up to examine it, thinking they were about as effective as a sugar pill if his reaction earlier had been anything to go by. He shrugged and deposited them carelessly on top of the bed. Maybe there was another reason they failed to help Castiel remain undetected from Dean. He made a mental note to ask for Sam’s opinion on it later, and started to rifle through some papers that had been folded neatly and stacked in piles at the back of the drawer. On closer inspection, he soon realized there were many letters that looked to have been written by the same hand. Some of them had been opened and pushed back into their envelopes for possible review at a later date, and others were just bundled up and held together with elastic bands. A few at the bottom of the pile had become faded with age, and their corners were well worn as if they had been read many times and kept for sentimental reasons more than anything else.

Every instinct was telling him to leave them alone, but the allure of something that might help him to understand how to win Castiel’s affections was too much, and he collected a handful and sat down on the edge of the bed. With shaking hands he started to unfold them one by one and began to read.

 Α ✫ Ω 

The first false memory Castiel remembered when his eyes shot open in the dark, was the pain. He awoke in a state of terror with the images from his nightmares still haunting him. Without even thinking, he breathed in Dean’s scent that still hung on his bed and closed his eyes again. It calmed him almost immediately. He consciously tried to shut out the fear that relentlessly persecuted him. Sam’s huge shadow appeared in the doorway.

“Everything alright?” He asked quietly, just in case Castiel was actually still asleep and he didn’t want to unsettle him. Sam sounded very tired, and Castiel felt guilty for disturbing him again. Sam already lost count of how many times he had been up and down in the night every time Castiel cried out for Dean.

“I’m sorry, Sam.” Castiel breathed, in a husky whisper. He was trying to focus on the light streaming in around the edges of the silhouette where it flooded through the doorway. He felt like crying. “I had another nightmare, I think. I’ll be alright in a minute.” He saw Sam’s grey shadow nod in response but he didn’t move away. He wasn’t entirely convinced their relative definitions of alright were even in the same ball park.

“Do you want me to sit with you?” Sam asked softly. Now Castiel knew he was going to cry. He couldn’t even explain to Sam how grateful he was for looking after him. He hardly knew him, and yet he had given him unconditional care and understanding. He tried to bite back a sob, but it spilled out anyway and echoed as it cut through the silence around him.

“No. Thank you. I’m okay.” Castiel called back, trying to keep his voice steady so he could pretend he didn’t have unstoppable streams of desperate tears flooding down both cheeks.

“Cas? Do you… do you want me to fetch Dean?” Sam asked hesitantly. He was fairly sure his brother had probably managed to get his baser impulses under control by now, but he still didn’t know if the whole sordid encounter had been too much for someone as sensitive as Castiel. Sam waited for him to make an independent decision. It seemed cruel to keep them apart if he really needed him. There was an empty pause while Castiel moved restlessly under the sheets. He made a selfless choice.

“No. Please don’t bother him, Sam.” Castiel muttered at last. It was a wicked lie. He wanted Dean more than anything. “I’m sure he must be asleep by now.” He added quietly, turning onto his side to rub his wet eyes against the pillow.

Sam doubted that very much. He pulled the door closed a bit so it was dark enough for Castiel to go back to sleep, but not too dark it would make him feel isolated and scared. He went back to his computer and opened another can of caffeine and sugar - subtly packaged as energy drink. His eyes had already started to close several times while he had been reading through the almost endless supply of information in front of him. He waited until he could hear Castiel’s soft regular breaths again before he slid his finger between the paper and a chewed up straw currently serving as a bookmark. He started again.

When Sam opened one eye, he realized he had a sideways view of the back wall. He had fallen asleep with his head resting on the pages that were now creased and damp with sleep drool. He wiped his hand across his mouth before slowly sitting up. His neck was stiff, his senses still dulled from tiredness, and his eyes hurt from spending far too many hours squinting at seemingly microscopic text. He kept the light level low deliberately for Castiel, but his eyesight had taken a hit as a result. He had to keep blinking to try and focus properly when he looked back towards Dean’s bedroom to see if Castiel was still asleep. When Sam stood up, he realized he must have actually been roused from his own dream by an insistent tapping on the door. It seemed to get progressively louder, but that could have just been because consciousness was now starting to fill his mind. He stretched lazily and shook all the feeling back into his legs.

“Sam?” Dean called impatiently, banging one fist against the door to try and get his brother's attention. Sam looked at his watch and made his way over to let him in. He groaned. It wasn’t even six a.m. When he finally pulled the door open, Dean was leaning in towards him with hope reflected in his eyes. Sam could tell straight away he was absolutely exhausted and his hair was so mussed up, Sam briefly wondered if Dean had actually spent the last few hours just running his hands through it. He looked like he had maybe tried to sleep at one point, but it just hadn’t happened, and Sam could have taken a pretty good guess as to what had kept him up all night. Dean was demanding answers before Sam even had the chance to tell him what he was starting to remember while the last trace of sleep haze disappeared.

“Well? Did you find anything?” Dean asked expectantly, resting his tired body against the wall.

“Yes, actually. That you’re a fucking moron.”

Dean jerked his head back.

“Good morning to you too, Sam. I can tell you missed me.”

Sam sighed and kicked the door shut, pulling Dean inside and making a grab for the book. “I thought you’d read this.” He said in despair. He waved it in front of Dean’s face while his brother continued to stare at him in confusion.

“I have.” The way Sam was glaring at him made him give in to the pressure almost immediately, and he bit into his lip. “Alright.” Dean conceded with a sigh. “I might have skipped over some of the more boring bits.”

“Oh, you mean like anything other than the pictures?” Dean resented that but he didn’t say anything. He thought Sam knew him better than that. It was all just semantics anyway. “Dean.” Sam said harshly. Even after all this time, Sam could still make his name sound like a dirty word. He grabbed his brother by the elbow and dragged him as far away from the bedroom door as was physically possible in such a tiny apartment. He didn’t want Castiel to overhear them, and he would probably get up as soon as he heard Dean anyway. Sam knew Castiel had been desperate for him to fetch Dean during the night, and had only refused out of some stupid sense of irrational pride. “Yeah, well I _have_ and I can’t believe you could miss something like that.” He whispered. Dean hadn't got a clue what Sam was on about, and it showed. “You have no idea what you’ve done.”

Α ✫ Ω


	13. Chapter 13

Before Sam could explain exactly what the fuck he meant by that, they both heard Castiel calling out for Dean again and his attention was instantly gone. Dean couldn’t stop himself from going to him.

“Hey.” He breathed quietly, sticking his head round the corner of the door and giving Castiel a small smile. He wasn’t sure how his presence would be received now the raw burn of passion had been locked away again. Castiel was sitting up in bed and rubbing nervously at the tops of his arms while he watched the alpha approach. His eyes never left Dean's face. Castiel wanted to say so many things to him, but the only word that seemed to want to come out at all was a weak _sorry_. His eyes soon dropped down to his hands when the submissive started to rise up again. It seemed to happen a lot when Dean was staring at him like that.

“You got nothing to be sorry for.” Dean sighed. “I’m just glad that happened when Sam was here 'cause… Cas - ” He stopped and took in a sharp breath, trying not to visualize all the terrible things that might have happened if Castiel had been alone when his heat had come over him without warning like that. “I can’t even think about what would have happened to you if you'd been somewhere else.” Dean subconsciously nipped his canines against the inside of his cheek. Attempting to subdue the unexpected burn of jealousy at the thought of anyone else _ever_ touching him. He would defend Castiel with his dying breath. “Not everyone feels the same as me.”

“I know, Dean.” Castiel said sadly, completely misinterpreting what he was trying to say. “Maybe I should start trying to accept I have a place. I’m not the same as you.” Dean looked at him closely.

“No. You’re right.” He whispered. Castiel’s eyes slid back up. An alpha would think that of course, but Castiel hoped it might have taken him a little longer to admit it. His heart sank, but Dean hadn’t finished. “We’re not equals.” Castiel stared at him in silence. Maybe Dean wasn’t so different after all. Dean reached for his hands, but Castiel pulled away. “You're much better than I could ever be.”

“Dean. You’re an alpha, you mustn’t say things like that. It’s not true.” Dean quickly grabbed for him again, and this time Castiel allowed him to take both hands in his own. He let Dean stroke the inside of one palm with his thumb as their eyes met.

“It is true, Cas. You don’t realize how important you are to me. How important you’ve _always_ been.”

“What do you mean?” Castiel managed at last. He had no concept of how long Dean had looked for him.

“Ever since I was expected to mate, I knew I wanted someone just like you. Now I know you, nothing else could ever come close.”

Castiel was battling the building desire to pull Dean in. He wasn’t sure how long he would be able to fight it.

“But my whole life, I’ve thought nobody would ever want someone like me. I only ran away when I was young because I didn’t want to be mated to a man I didn’t love. You’re the only one who ever made me feel safe, and I can’t let myself get used to that feeling... I can't. I suppose I just don’t want to need you so much.” Castiel admitted at last. Dean could feel his pulse start to throb again. “It would be so easy to let myself trust you, and then everything I've done to try and stay safe will have been meaningless.” Castiel stopped and took a well-needed breath. He could feel his resolve weakening with every passing second while Dean’s green gaze was burning into him, hot streams of breath flitting tenderly over his sensitive skin. “I don’t want my life to mean nothing.” He tried one last time, but he knew it sounded hollow.

“Neither do I.” Dean smiled. He moved forward and slid one hand slowly up Castiel’s body, leaning in closer until their mouths were almost touching. There were no words to express how much he wanted to kiss him again. “But my life will mean nothing if I can’t have you.”

Castiel was pretty certain he actually stopped breathing completely several minutes into the conversation. He absorbed every word of devotion as Dean’s promises flowed over him and made him feel warm and sheltered from everything that existed outside the four walled haven of Dean’s bedroom. He still couldn’t believe an unmated alpha could be compassionate enough to have been able to restrain himself from just fucking him open the night before. His own awareness might have been altered at the time, but Castiel knew in his heart it had taken Dean every single drop of resolution he had. He had seen it on his face just before Dean pulled himself away and fled from the apartment in distress. The want, the need, the instinctual biological demand to show his dominance and mate him, but he had done nothing to hurt him and Castiel still wasn’t entirely sure how he had managed to stop himself.

Castiel had also been at a loss to control his own body. The evidence of how much he had wanted to submit to Dean and stop the pain was still drying on the sheets. He forced himself to stop thinking like that. Dean was just being kind out of pity, most likely. Castiel was still really struggling to accept that anyone so desirable would have the slightest interest in him at all.

“Dean.” Castiel managed eventually, finally taking another breath. Gabriel had schooled him well in the art of mistrust and anyone who wasn’t family was fair game, and even then it was a fine line. Dean must want something from him. That was the way it worked, and Castiel knew that. There was no way Dean wanted him just _because_. Castiel had long since resigned himself to the fact things like that didn’t happen to people like him. That’s what he'd always been told anyway. “I really wish you would stop saying things like that. I don’t know what you want from me, but whatever it is, I doubt very much that I have it to give.” Castiel sighed, but he didn’t move his hands away and Dean continued to press his thumb in small circles into his palm. The movement seemed to be growing more forceful with every seductive loop and Castiel felt a disturbing pulse of renewed enthusiasm between his legs when Dean continued to stroke him.

“Why do you always think I want something from you?” Dean asked quietly. He moved even closer. His confidence had been strengthened by the fact Castiel hadn't pulled away and his mouth might have been saying one thing, but his eyes and his lips were definitely saying something else. Dean hesitantly licked his own, just in case.

“I’m not special, Dean.” Castiel breathed against his mouth. “I know you think I am, but I’m really not.”

“You are to me.” Dean said, with another smile. He spread open the hand that was snaking up Castiel’s chest. When he reached the dip of his neck, it formed a gentle _v_  shape with his finger and thumb and Castiel closed his eyes in response to the sentiment of such a tender touch. There were many things conveyed in that simple brush of Dean’s hand against the skin of his throat and the room suddenly felt too warm and airless again when Dean pushed against him. “Not everyone is bad, Cas.” Dean whispered. “And you’re wrong. I can think of a hundred and one things that make me want you.” He ran his fingertips up the side of Castiel’s jaw, lightly playing with the lines of rough stubble that had developed since he had been confined to Dean’s bed. His heart was pounding when he attempted to press an uncertain kiss to Castiel’s lips. Dean had a sudden surge of empathy at how it must feel to be so scared all the time. He didn’t think he would be able to handle another crushing rejection, but Castiel didn’t even attempt to pull back while Dean waited for a reaction. Castiel remained almost impossibly still. His eyes were closed and his mouth was flushed pink and shining with moisture. Dean murmured words of veneration into his mouth and separated every single one with a soft kiss that hardly touched him, but it made Castiel feel hopelessly weak anyway.

Dean subconsciously edged a little closer every time he dared to touch their lips together in between the string of whispered praises about how beautiful he was, and how much he wanted to take care of him. On the last one he waited, exhaled breath hanging in the small space between them. Castiel opened his eyes slowly and Dean could see the bright blue filtering out from underneath his heavy lids while he watched the movement of Dean’s mouth in expectant silence.

Dean lifted one arm and gently held Castiel's face in his hand. Castiel realized at once what Dean was going to do and he gave him the chance to pull away, but he didn’t think he could have moved, even if he wanted to. He felt Dean’s tongue slip effortlessly across the tip of his own. Castiel tilted his head and opened his mouth wide enough for Dean to take that as the acceptance he so desperately wanted to be able to kiss Castiel more deeply. Dean almost whimpered with eager relief when he buried his long rough tongue in the wet warmth of Castiel’s mouth, pulling him so close he was almost inhaling him.

Castiel just let Dean lick hungrily inside him. He tried to tip his head back to present his throat. Dean pushed one of his hands up, curling his fingers in the soft hair at the back of Castiel’s head so he could hold him fixed against his mouth. Dean was determined he wouldn't let himself be ruled by instinct anymore. Not with Castiel. He was too important. The other one slipped around his back, and Dean spread his palm across the dip of his spine and gave his entire body one quick jerk forward to pull him in. They were so close, Castiel could feel Dean’s heartbeat vibrating against his chest.

Castiel could hear his own little hums of pleasure resonating in Dean’s mouth and it made him tremble inside. It was so different from the uncontrollable animalistic need that had consumed his senses the night before. This was something else. Dean’s hands were gentle as they caressed him, his kiss now soft and almost worshipful.

“Dean?” Sam called. He suddenly appeared in the doorway but stopped cold when he saw what they were doing. He blinked wide, his expression a mixture of so many conflicting emotions it made him look more comically alarmed than anything else. His top lip was hitched up at one side like he thought he should maybe now explain why he had interrupted such a beautiful moment. The image itself had managed to format the hard drive in his brain and prevent him from even remembering what he wanted in the first place. “Shit… sorry.” He mumbled, and disappeared again. Dean heard him collide with the table in his haste to retreat.

They eventually pulled apart and Dean licked his lips to savour every last taste of Castiel’s mouth on his own. Castiel turned his head to see if Sam was still watching them.

“Oh... that was awkward.” He whispered quietly, pulling his mouth down at one corner.

“Only for him.” Dean replied, green eyes smiling when they briefly flicked back over to the door. They both laughed gently at the embarrassment of being caught making out, soon falling back into comfortable silence. “So.” Dean deliberately changed the tone of his voice to try and convince himself the silky slide of Castiel’s pliant tongue against his own hadn’t left him achingly hard again and painfully desperate for more. “How you feeling this morning?”

“A little better, thank you.” Castiel added politely, leaning back against the pillow to put some space between them. He hesitated before asking the question that had been on his mind since he woke up. “What about you? Are _you_ alright?” Dean glanced away. It was the first time he hadn’t been able to look directly at him since he came home. He knew exactly what Castiel was hinting at, and just because it remained unspoken didn’t mean they weren't both completely aware of what had happened when Dean had been close to losing control. What could have happened.

“I’m… managing it.” Dean said slowly. Castiel wondered why he would reply in such a strange way. He didn’t feel like that was really an answer at all but he didn’t push him. “I’m sorry if I scared you last night.” Dean continued. “That’s not me, you know.” Castiel smiled softly at him. To Dean’s surprise he reached forward and wrapped his fingers around the side of Dean’s hand, giving it one determined squeeze of comfort before pulling away again.

“I know, Dean and I appreciate it. Please don’t think I don’t.” Castiel answered. They heard a gentle knock on the door and a disembodied but deliberate cough from somewhere outside the room. After allowing them a few seconds of grace to move apart, Sam’s shaggy head gradually appeared at the side of the door frame.

“Dean?” Sam attempted again, a quick jerk of his head implying he hadn’t actually finished cussing his brother out. The tops of his cheekbones were still flushed pink and the most he could manage after having to witness Dean sucking Castiel’s face was to spare the other man a polite nod. “Cas.”

“Hello, Sam.” Castiel replied quietly, twisting his fingers together while he stared at his hands. “Thank you for everything you did for me last night. I can’t tell you how grateful I am.”

“It’s no problem.” Sam smiled, but he still seemed distracted and clearly desperate to talk with Dean, so Castiel decided to leave them to it and try to go back to sleep. He was still physically exhausted and emotionally drained, and all his muscles ached.

“I think I’m being summoned.” Dean whispered with a smirk, when he leaned in. “Will you be alright?”

Castiel nodded, and settled snugly back under the sheets. He had closed his eyes before Dean even finished speaking. Dean took a moment just to look at him. Sometimes it didn’t feel like it was real at all. If someone had told him a few days ago that everything he ever wanted would be lying asleep in his bed, he would have told them they needed to up their meds. Dean carefully pulled the sheet over him and smoothed it down tenderly to make sure Castiel wouldn’t get cold again. Dean leaned forward and planted one last delicate kiss to his temple. “I’ll come check on you soon, I promise.” He breathed. Castiel hummed sleepily into the pillow, but he didn’t reply.

Sam was waiting for Dean just outside the door, and he didn’t need to use mere words to convey how pissed he was. A look of utter distaste was stretched tightly across his face.

“Close the door.” Sam said quietly, gesturing behind him. Dean frowned.

“Why? I don't need to. He’s gone back to sleep.”

“Dean. Close the door.” His tone was so insistent, Dean felt compelled to do as he was told and reached blindly behind him for the handle. He tried to be as quiet as possible so he wouldn’t disturb Castiel, slowly pulling it shut until it clicked into place. “What the hell are you doing?” Sam asked through clenched teeth, when he deemed it safe to talk.

“Nothin’.” Dean replied with a shrug, but Sam was in no mood to humour him.

“Really, Dean? That’s the best you’ve got? Nothing?” _Oh God, he was definitely pouting_. Dean thought. He guessed whatever had riled him so spectacularly, implied he was in some serious shit and it was probably best not to antagonize him any further. Sam was only a beta, and a big one at that, so Dean technically outclassed him but there was no doubt as to who had the authority right now. “Come over here, I need to show you something.” Sam said. “Then we’ll see if it’s nothing.” His voice seemed to have lost its bitter edge, and now he looked more concerned than angry. They both pulled out a chair and settled at the table. Sam’s laptop was still open and resting precariously on top of a pile of paper. Even with a brief glance, Dean could see he had earmarked several pages in the lore book. Next to it there was a writing pad that had many notes and symbols scrawled messily right up to the corners. Sam had highlighted some of the words in red.

“Busy night?” Dean tried amiably. He reached down for his book but Sam smacked his hand away and glared at him from underneath a long fringe.

“Right, Dean.” Sam said flatly. “There’s something you need to know, and you’re gonna have to pay attention so start listening.”

“Okay... jeez.” Dean muttered. “Just remember I haven’t had any sleep, so be nice.”

Sam gave him a subtle look of warning. He had only managed to catch an hour at best and his eyes still ached from reading. 

“What do you know about male omegas? Really? Apart from the fact you want to mate that one in there.” He added, nodding towards Dean’s bedroom. Dean had no idea why he would open his predictable lecture with such a stupid question.

“What do you mean? Know about them?” Dean asked. Sam reached for the book. He opened a well-worn page and presented it to Dean.

“As you may _not_ know, I actually sat up with Cas most of last night and went through this section on omega types, and these subconscious responses to potential mates you kept blabbing on about. Here.” Sam said, prodding hard at the particular section of text he wanted Dean to read. There were several minutes of long, tense silence as Dean plodded through the paragraph. He was a slow reader at the best of times, but now he was actually trying to absorb information as well, it was taking much longer than Sam had anticipated. After a few impatient sighs and a couple of raps on the table with his fingertips he snatched the book away and dismissed his brother with one hand. “You know how rare Castiel is? Like you thought you would never find one to claim?” Sam asked rhetorically. Dean just nodded. “Well according to this, and it _is_ just speculation, Dean, we have no real evidence that any of this stuff is genuine. In here it says there are actually two types of omega. Male ones obviously, because the females are biologically distinct anyway. There are the commonly accepted ones, and then there are these others that have certain characteristics that make them _different_.” Sam said the last word diplomatically and took a deep breath. He knew exactly why they were different, but the look of stunned bewilderment that was painted on Dean’s face suggested even that might be a little too much for him to take in before noon.

Dean stopped him, his mouth hanging open. He had a sense this was going somewhere he might not like, and Sam was talking too much again. They were all just long words strung together and he needed Sam to hurry up and explain. Anything that could potentially threaten his future with Castiel made Dean feel sick to his stomach, and he wanted answers now.

“Sam, what are you trying to say? Fucks sake just spit it out, already. You’re making me dizzy.”

Sam raised both arms in defeat.

“Fine. Long and short of it, Dean. You did this to him.” Dean was still staring at him with blank eyes, and Sam had to count to ten in his head. “When you marked him to see if he would respond, I think you set free a biological response that flooded the poor bastard with everything he's been trying to suppress for years, but it’s not just that. That wasn’t a normal heat last night. That was something entirely inconsistent with everything we think we know about them. According to this, I think Cas might be a special type of omega that’s detailed in here. It says they're so rare, only several cases have ever been documented but… well. I didn’t imagine what happened last night. What I think...” Sam paused, like he was trying to choose an appropriate way of phrasing his opinion that wasn’t going to freak Dean out completely. “... is that you pushed him into a mating cycle.” Sam managed at last. “I think he could be one of these androgynous ones, and you just made him fertile.”

Α ✫ Ω


	14. Chapter 14

Dean stared into space while it all filtered into his brain, thinking back to everything that happened. He processed the events of the last couple of days, and everything Sam told him.

“Fertile?” Dean whispered in amazement. “I knew he smelled different.” It was like someone just flicked on the lights in his head. “That scent drove me wappy. It was him for sure, but it was sweeter and fuck me, I still don’t know how I kept my hands off him.” Sam almost smiled. He didn’t think Dean was even capable of being so animated. “Wait... is that even possible?” Dean muttered, scanning the pages again in search of enlightenment. Sam blew out a long rush of air, sweeping one hand out in the direction of the closed door like that was one of the most ridiculous things his brother ever said. Sam was overtired and Dean had always been a very difficult audience to engage, but now he was pushing the limits of even Sam's infinite patience. 

“Apparently, it’s something to do with these chemicals called vasopressins that somehow control social responses. Only these particular omegas have them. I need to do some more research, but it could be a very real possibility. Besides which, look at him. I would say _yes_."

“Shit.”

“Hmm. Well, on the plus side that sort of gives some weight to your theory about pair-bonding.” Sam said thoughtfully. A little spiral of hope rose up inside Dean and warmed every corner of his heart. “However.” Sam continued, raising his index finger just like he always did when he was about to point out Dean was still an insufferable dick. “I’m not saying you and Cas are suddenly going to start making little Winchester babies but you need to make sure you understand what you’ve done to him.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose, Sam.” Dean said quietly. If his scent-claiming had genuinely put Castiel in danger he would never be able to forgive himself, but he couldn’t even think about that. “Why isn’t he all over me now, then?” Dean asked. Sam couldn’t give him an answer. “I kissed him.”

“Yes. Thank you, Dean. I did notice that. I have no idea, but if this is true then he’s a target from all sides. Honestly I don’t know how the hell he’s managed to survive this long on his own, and he probably doesn’t even realize himself what he is. No wonder he’s always been so scared.”

“My poor Cas.” Dean murmured to himself. Sam definitely didn't miss the telling way in which Dean talked about Castiel like he already belonged to him. “I should have found him sooner, Sam. Anything could have happened to him.” Sam couldn’t disagree. 

“Yeah well, either by luck or fate, or whatever you want to call it, he _is_ okay and you need to make sure you appreciate what might be happening here.” Before Dean could even contemplate how they were going to deal with this new revelation, he heard the door creak open and Castiel was standing in the doorway with disordered hair and a very confused expression. Dean jumped up and slammed the book shut. There was no way Castiel was stable enough to talk about any of that just yet.

Dean walked over to him and hooked his arm around Castiel’s waist to help him over to the couch before he fetched him a glass of water and set it down nearby in case he got thirsty again. Dean’s mind was a storm of emotion. He was trying desperately not to say anything incriminating while he gazed longingly at him. Dean plumped up a cushion and gently eased it behind his back while Castiel smiled gratefully at him with a sparkle in his eyes Dean was amazed he had missed before. He positioned himself on the other side of the seat and dug around in his memory to find something to say that wouldn’t inadvertently incite a conversation that related to anything Sam just told him. He remembered leafing through all the letters in Castiel’s apartment the night before, and the question spilled out before he had enough conscious restraint to stop it.

“Hey, Cas.” Dean said suddenly. “Who’s Gabriel?”

The second Dean opened his mouth, he realized he had made a terrible mistake. Castiel was staring at him in disbelief, blinking rapidly while he tried to formulate some kind of response to such an unexpected question. He had no idea what to say. Dean glanced nervously at Sam for unspoken support, but none came. Castiel eventually pushed his body back against the arm of the couch in a futile attempt to put as much space between them as he could.

“How do you know about Gabriel?” Castiel asked accusingly, his peaceful expression soon morphing into confusion. The mistrust resurfaced with a vengeance, and now his mind was filled with doubt again. Dean ran his tongue anxiously between his lips and briefly considered throwing him a plausible lie but he couldn’t think of anything to say, and he always felt compelled to tell the truth when Castiel was looking at him like that. There were stiff lines of suspicion forming around his mouth and Dean could have happily slapped himself in the face for being such an idiot.

“I… er. Last night I found some of his old letters in a drawer in your bedroom.” He offered weakly. Castiel’s frown deepened so much, his eyes were almost obscured completely.

“Found?” Castiel echoed. “You mean you were looking through my stuff. Why would you do that, Dean?” His voice was loaded with disappointment. Dean could almost see all the seeds of trust he had managed to cultivate since their first meeting decay right in front of him. Even though it wasn’t true, he felt like the admission sounded like he had taken advantage of Castiel’s vulnerability and seen it as an opportunity to find out secrets he had spent a lifetime hiding.

“I don’t know.” Dean answered honestly, silently cursing himself in his head. He really should have learned over the years to at least attempt to get his mouth and his brain to work at the same time. “I’m sorry, Cas. I shouldn’t have said anything... sorry.” Dean apologized again and reached forward to rub the edge of his fingers up the inside of Castiel’s leg. He didn’t pull away when he felt a rush of unintentional arousal pour down his body at the touch, but he made no attempt to get any closer either. “Cas, please don’t be mad at me.” Dean begged, sliding his hand around the soft curve of Castiel’s thigh. He tensed, but he let Dean continue to cosset him with gentle strokes. Sam was starting to feel his presence was already surplus to requirements, so he coughed and got up with some mumbled excuse about going to his room to do some more research. Dean watched him intently as he walked away. Sam deliberately left his bedroom door slightly open, just in case his brother got over-excited again. Sam didn’t really consider Dean to be a threat anymore, but he wanted to make sure neither of them did anything they might regret while everything was still so new and uncertain. Castiel was curled in on himself where he was pressed up against the edge of the couch. He studied Dean carefully, starting to question the true nature of his motivation again. There was a dull ache of betrayal in the pit of his stomach. “I really didn’t want to leave you last night, and I was just trying to distract myself.” Dean's voice sounded sincere enough, but Castiel still couldn’t find anything to say. Dean had been desperate to ask him who this Gabriel was and why he would seemingly keep him supplied with pills all this time. He must have known what he was and Dean didn’t underestimate the importance of that. The tone of each letter had been warm and affectionate and there was clearly love between them. The idea it might be more than a platonic bond had started to burrow its way into the paranoia of his subconscious. Instead of being understanding and free from doubt, he just had to open his mouth again and make it worse. “So is he like an ex-boyfriend, or something?” Dean asked with a shrug. He was really trying for indifferent but it came out as jealous and pissy. Castiel’s expression never changed. He stared right back at Dean and narrowed his eyes again.

“No, Dean.” Castiel answered flatly. “I don’t _have_ any ex-boyfriends. I don’t have anyone. I haven’t had anyone since I was fifteen.” Dean could see that the last part had been forced out by accident when a painful memory resurfaced without warning. There must have been something that stung in those words when he said them out loud like that. It made the tears of resentment fill the corners of his eyes but he refused to let them fall. Dean just wanted to wrap his arms around Castiel and hold him close until he felt safe and warm again. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Dean asked after a pause. He had never been much of a listener, but was prepared to do anything for Castiel if there was a chance it might make him feel better. Castiel shook his head and stared at the floor.

“I think I would like to go home now, Dean.” He whispered. His voice sounded broken, but there seemed little point in pushing him to talk when he had deliberately closed himself off again. It was obvious from the way he was sitting, he had no intention of participating in a conversation.

“Don’t go.” Dean pleaded, not caring how desperate he sounded. “Stay here, Cas, please. You’ll be safe here. I’ll look after you.” He promised, but Castiel wouldn’t even look at him. “I’m sorry, okay?” Dean attempted one last time. He watched helplessly when Castiel got up and pulled himself away with a sigh.

“I just want to go home.”

Dean could feel a cold warning rise up. He really didn’t want Castiel to be alone after what Sam told him earlier and the insatiable need to be near him was starting to consume him at a dangerous pace. There was something lost deep inside him that had been released at the thought of finally being able to claim such a beautiful soul as a mate, but the look in Castiel’s eyes was enough to stop Dean from pressing him any further.

“Okay.” Dean murmured reluctantly, getting up to follow Castiel to the door. On the way past he leaned over and rummaged around for a pencil and paper. He found one buried in the stack of scribbles Sam had left on the table. He quickly wrote down his cell number and handed it to Castiel with the best smile he could manage now he felt so horrible. “Here - my number.” Dean explained hurriedly, when Castiel started to reach for the door handle. The words dropped out of his mouth in a broken stream of promises in his haste to let Castiel know he could even ask him for the stars if he wanted to, and Dean would have a damn good go at fetching one down for him. “If you need me for anything... anything at all.” He stressed again. “Call me. Whatever it is, Cas. Day or night. Just holler and I’ll be there.” He vowed. Castiel nodded, and Dean thought he might be smiling back, but it was so faint he could easily have missed it. Dean shot forward and opened the door for him and they both walked back down the corridor to Castiel’s apartment in silence. By the time they reached room 65, Dean could see Castiel was starting to look jumpy again. Dean was terrified that everything he had done to try and get close to him had been destroyed in an instant by his tactless bullshit. The only part of his body that seemed to function properly when he was near Castiel was his dick. “Sure you’re gonna be alright?” Dean asked slowly. His head fell to one side. Castiel nodded again, and pushed the piece of paper Dean had given him deep into the bottom of his pocket for safekeeping. He pulled out his key and fumbled with the lock once more in a desperate haste to get inside. He opened the door and looked back over his shoulder.

“Gabriel is my brother.” Castiel said quietly.

Dean had no time to reply before he was staring up close at the familiar grain that ran down the entrance to Castiel’s apartment. It took him a moment to catch up. He eventually managed a mumbled _fuck_ before heading miserably back down the hall. Dean couldn’t see him, but Castiel was still resting his back up against the door while he listened to the heavy tread of Dean's boots retreat until they faded away altogether. He tipped his head back and took in a few deep breaths before moving through to his bedroom to see what it was exactly Dean had read in those letters.

“Come on.” Dean spat defensively, pacing backwards and forwards in front of Sam less than five minutes later. He was shaking his head at the injustice of everything Castiel had been subjected to since that fateful night when he had wandered out blindly into the storm. “What kind of a douche leaves a fifteen year old kid to fend for himself like that?” Sam’s eyes twitched while he watched Dean parade around on his soap box. He knew it was only because he was now so fiercely protective. There was no longer any doubt in Sam’s mind. Dean had convinced himself Castiel was already his.

“He probably thought he was doing it for the right reasons.” Sam said gently, but Dean made a weird noise in the back of his throat. Sam frowned at him. He knew his brother would have done exactly the same thing if it had been him who was in danger, but Dean had always possessed a colourful supply of hypocritical crap when it suited whatever point he happened to be making at the time. Sam knew Dean had got it so bad for Castiel, his judgement was probably clouded by lust and the desire to shelter him from the rest of the world. In his own inimitable way he was only doing his best to look out for him, and that was actually kinda sweet. Dean hadn’t told him about the content of the rest of the letters, but whatever he was still holding in must have deeply upset him.

“You should have seen the look in his eyes, Sammy.” Dean sighed. “There’s so much pain there, and I can't do a fucking thing to make it better.” He cursed again and wandered through to his bedroom, dropping backwards on to the tangled sheets and covering his face with both hands. He had messed everything up again. Dean turned around restlessly only to find his bed now smelled of Castiel and that made it so much worse. Maybe if he closed his eyes, he could pretend he was lying there next to him. The hazy blue of his eyes and the plump pink curve of his lips shining and open, just waiting for Dean to taste him again. He clutched handfuls of the material and inhaled Castiel’s scent until he couldn’t smell anything else.

Dean spent the best part of a fitful hour just staring up at the ceiling and wondering what he could do to get Castiel to trust him again. He pushed his body up from the bed and marched back through to grab his phone, scanning it urgently to see if Castiel had sent him a message. There was nothing. He shoved it into his back pocket and raised his arms in defeat.

“Fuck it. I’m going back. I need him.” He mumbled. Sam looked up when he thought he misheard, but he could see Dean was still distracted, chewing aimlessly at his bottom lip. Sam encouraged Dean to sit with him and calm down before he went tearing back up the corridor. He was desperate to tell him there really was no reason to be so clingy, but he didn’t think he was even listening anymore. He reached aggressively for a pen and the writing pad Sam had been working on the night before. He started to flick over the corners just to give himself something else to focus on.

“Don’t you mean _he_ needs you?” Sam asked hesitantly. Dean just looked at him like he was a total idiot.

“That’s what I said.” Dean frowned, scribbling meaningless doodles all over the paper. Sam didn’t bother pointing out the slip. After a few attempts at amateur graffiti, he threw the pen across the room with a rumble of noise. “No, something’s not right. I’m sorry, Sam. I have to go back.” Dean grabbed his jacket and cell before almost running back down the hall to Castiel’s apartment. He knocked loudly a couple of times and called his name but there was no response, so Dean listened intently with his head cocked to one side. He couldn't hear anything at all. Even without his acute canine senses he would have known everything was deathly quiet. He felt his stomach twist with unease.

Dean flinched at the sound of the click when he tried the door, surprised to find it still unlocked. He gave it a tentative nudge and crept inside. He didn’t want to startle Castiel, so he called out to him again but there was still no reply. The door at the end of the narrow hallway was closed shut and he cautiously headed towards it. He could hear the unmistakable sound of running water as he approached. There was a thin trail of stream seeping out from the gap at the bottom.

Nothing could have prepared him for the tragic scene he walked in on. Castiel was curled up in one corner of the shower with his arms wrapped tightly around his body. His head was dropped low and resting on his knees. Dean just watched in stunned silence at the way the water seemed to flow over him, completely unaware of anything else that was going on around him. The hidden pain of his fractured childhood memories had suddenly been set free and the rush of emotion was just too much after a restless night. The overpowering want he was starting to feel for Dean had splintered his already crumbling resolve to stay unclaimed and delivered from submission.

He suddenly looked up.

“Oh, God. Please... don’t.” Castiel cried in alarm. He realized Dean was standing over him, horrified concern etched into every feature. “Don’t look at me.” Castiel begged, burying his face in his hands and watching the rivers of water run down his chest and trickle between his legs. He was completely naked and shivering, terrified he was as good as prize bait to an unmated alpha who already had a hard-on for him. Dean couldn’t stop himself from gazing longingly at the perfect pale canvas of untouched skin, but all he really wanted to do was comfort him. “Everything’s falling apart.” Castiel cried, through the gaps between his fingers. Dean felt his heart ache for him. His shoulders were shaking and Dean just wanted to touch him and take away all his pain. “I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

Dean quickly shed his jacket and climbed into the cramped space to be next to him. He dropped to his knees between Castiel’s legs and felt the water cascade over him, dripping down his shoulders and over his thighs.

“C’mere.” Dean breathed gently. He reached for Castiel and wrapped his arms around his back to pull him in close. Castiel pushed his face into Dean’s neck and snuffled against the damp skin. “It’s okay. I got you.” Dean whispered into his hair. Hot streams continued to run down his face while he held him. His clothes were completely soaked through but Dean didn’t care. He swept the wet strands from Castiel’s eyes and said it again. “I got you, Cas.” He squeezed him tight and held him like a baby while Castiel sobbed uncontrollably against his shoulder. Dean smothered him in a desperate embrace while he wept. “And you’ve got me... for as long as you want me.”

Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head before tilting up his face with a gentle press of one fingertip. Blue eyes were blinking up at him like stars burning their way through a void of oblivion. His body was drenched and Dean wasn’t sure where the tears stopped and the water started. It all melted seamlessly together while it fell down his face, cheeks glistening where it coated the surface of his skin. Neither of them could remember how long they stayed there just holding on to each other while the water tumbled over them.

Α ✫ Ω


	15. Chapter 15

It might have only been seconds or minutes, or possibly even hours they sat there so close together. Dean couldn’t be sure anymore. Time always seemed to pass differently when he was touching Castiel, and Dean would have stayed there forever but the water soon turned cold and Castiel was starting to tremble under his touch. All his senses were quickly brought back into focus. 

“Come on.” Dean encouraged, carefully sliding one arm around Castiel’s slippery back and helping him to stand. “Let’s get you into bed and warm you up.” Castiel just wrapped both arms around Dean’s neck and leaned into him. He pulled himself shakily to his feet. His legs felt weak, and he just wanted Dean to hold him up while he forced back many emotions that kept flooding in. The memory of his brother’s fateful decision had swamped him when he thought about what was in those letters, and now Dean knew it all too. He had always been so independent, and Castiel was angry with himself for letting his mask slip, even for a moment. It was Dean. _He_ made Castiel feel all those things he believed had been locked away forever the night he left Gabriel standing alone in the dark, never once looking back to see if he was still there. Perhaps he never really wanted to know the answer to that after all. Castiel knew in his heart Dean was the one he might one day give himself to completely, but he was still pushing through years of denial that he needed someone to love him. Castiel didn’t need anybody. Never had. He had proved that so many times, but all these thoughts sounded hollow and meaningless now. Maybe he wasn’t really as strong as he thought he was. “Cas.” Dean said gently, stroking his fingertips tenderly along the rise of his back. Castiel was on his feet at least, but he didn’t seem to be capable of anything more than a few shuddering attempts at trying to climb out. Dean was determined to be patient but Castiel was a dead weight against him and his skin now felt clammy, so Dean was anxious to get him out of the water. He had no idea how long Castiel had been curled up in there before he found him. There was something about the blue tinge to his skin that suggested it might have been some considerable time. “We need to get out.”

The way Castiel refused to let go of him warmed Dean to his very core. He was almost hanging from his shoulders. His hands were clasped together and Dean could feel the pressure digging hard into the back of his neck. He didn’t reply and made no further attempts to move, so Dean hoped Castiel wouldn’t panic when he reached down and slipped his other arm behind his knees to pick him up. He had to jerk him up his body a couple of times to make sure he wouldn’t fall, and Dean held him close against his chest. His skin was still damp and Dean had no control over his hands when they slid over his back and across his ass, but Castiel didn’t flinch. He just melted into him, and tightened the grip around Dean's neck. His head was resting limply on one shoulder and Dean could feel the wetness soaking his hair and brushing against his cheek. His scent was now so powerful it was leaking freely from Castiel's skin and slinking up Dean's nostrils. He could almost taste him.

Dean tilted his head to one side so he could navigate the low step at the bottom of the shower and carried Castiel out of the bathroom and down the hall. Water was still dripping from his naked body. Dean kicked open the bedroom door and backed into the room. He noticed he had left the cabinet drawer slightly open and felt a brief rush of guilt, but that would have to wait. Castiel needed him right now and Dean had no intention of leaving him until he asked him to. Dean laid him carefully on the bed and forced himself to look away while he waited for Castiel to cover his modesty with the sheet, but he didn’t move. He was lying listlessly on his back, arms splayed out at each side of his head and his legs unintentionally spread apart. Dean swallowed loudly, eyes scanning the entire length of Castiel's body. Dean could feel a ragged breath catch in his throat while he struggled to keep both arms by his sides. He pressed his fingers into his palms to stop his hands from reaching out and grabbing handfuls of unblemished omega.

“Cas. Cover up, man.” Dean pleaded. He tried to keep his voice level through the urgency pulling at every part of him in his need for such delicious temptation to be gone. Castiel’s eyes were still closed, and he didn't seem to hear him while he drew in heavy shuddering breaths. His sobs slowly subsided, then faded away altogether. He was so peaceful and quiet, Dean thought he might have actually fallen asleep again. He licked his lips, studying every line and curve with hungry eyes. Castiel’s body was lean and pale. Dean was surprised at how his hips, so well hidden by his clothes, appeared to curve out slightly from a narrow waist that seemed an unusual shape for a man. Dean couldn’t pretend to completely understand all the unnecessarily long words Sam had spouted at him earlier, but the mention of Winchester babies certainly wasn't lost on him. He had been so busy trying to make sure Castiel was okay to even attempt to reconcile those concepts in his head without completely flipping his shit. His gaze was soon drawn back to the space between those beautiful hip bones. Dean was gaping in awe at the obvious contrasts between them, when he realized Castiel’s eyes had flickered open. He was watching Dean intently from underneath seductive dark lashes. Dean could feel a blush creep up his neck at the intensity of it, trying to shake himself free of amazement while he stumbled to explain why he had been caught staring. “Sorry, Cas. I just… I’ve never seen one before - an omega one, I mean.” Dean whispered quietly. Castiel looked down before he realized what he meant. He nodded slowly with a half-smile that was more curious than anything else at how easily he managed to make Dean speechless. He never really thought about it before, but imagined he must have looked very different from a big alpha like Dean. His body had only evolved a perfect design for being bred. Castiel blinked slowly and pulled the sheet across his lower body. He saw Dean breathe out a sigh of relief before walking over to the window. He lifted his arms and held on to the edge, trying to hide his hitching chest and swollen knot. He dug his fingers in hard, forcing himself to watch events unfold on the street below while his arousal went down.

“Dean?” Castiel ventured hesitantly. His voice rasped from sobbing. Dean turned to look at him over one shoulder, keeping his body facing away. He really didn’t want Castiel to think he'd been deliberately perving on him while he was in such a vulnerable emotional state. Dean made a point of keeping his eyes above Castiel’s waist while he watched him try to prop himself up on his elbows. Castiel took in the lines of Dean’s silhouette where the sunlight was pushing through the glass and washing his face with a golden glow. The hazy outline picked out the bright green of his eyes and the sprinkling of sandy freckles that dotted flushed skin. He really was breathtaking. “I don’t know what to say.” 

Dean shook his head. 

“Hush up, Cas.” He smiled softly. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” Castiel shifted nervously under the sheet and Dean sucked hard on his cheek while he waited for him to say something else. Dean knew Castiel was still dripping wet, so he discreetly turned away from the window and headed for the bathroom to retrieve a couple of towels to help him dry his hair. He bundled them together and held them over the front of his jeans as he walked back over to the bed, and sat down cautiously on the very edge. He passed them to Castiel and he smiled gratefully, but just held them loosely in his hands where they were still resting on top of the sheet. Dean had to physically wrap one hand around his wrist and lift up his arm. He smiled at the way Castiel seemed to be too distracted by his presence to even manage such a simple task. “Here.” Dean pushed the wad of material against his damp hair, patting at the drying strands when he leaned forward. “You’re gonna get cold.” Castiel covered Dean’s hand with his own and they rubbed at his wet hair together. He still seemed unable to let go.

“You don’t have to stay with me.” Castiel said suddenly, but there was something more hidden behind those words. Almost like he was trying to find some reason why Dean would even care to invest so much time in him. Their eyes met in the moment of silence that followed, and Dean felt his heart skip. He tenderly massaged the water from Castiel's hair.

“I know.” He said quietly. “I don’t stay because I think I should, Cas. I stay because I want to.” Castiel continued to watch him, leaning into the movement of his hand where it was rubbing against his head. He wanted to ask why, but it didn’t seem like the right moment. He let Dean manipulate the dark locks of hair in his fingers while he teased it back into place. “There, all done.” Dean said simply, finally letting his hand fall.

The look in Castiel’s eyes while Dean had played with his hair was pure submission, and Dean felt an overwhelming swell of instinctive need to dominate again. He could feel his dick growing before he had the chance to stop it, and shuffled uneasily on the bed in the hope Castiel wouldn’t notice how badly he wanted him. Dean had spent almost every minute since they met fighting the desire to bite him, and he wasn't going to let himself give in now. He encouraged Castiel to lie down and get warm with a muttered excuse of going to clean up the bathroom and try to dry out his clothes a bit so he wouldn’t be more uncomfortable than he already was. Dean had to get away and relieve some of the burning discomfort that always seemed to plague him when he thought about all the things he would like to do to Castiel. He was eager to get him settled again. Dean almost stumbled to the bathroom and away from the seductive provocation Castiel cast over him.

The door hardly closed behind him before Dean was unfastening his jeans with desperate, shaky fingers. The consuming need to release all the sexual tension that had built up mercilessly over the last couple of days was bordering on painful, and he was fully hard before he even managed to pull his dick out his pants. Dean knew what he was about to do was going to be really messy. He'd been holding it all back for days. He could feel his pulse throbbing against his palm when he took his heavy length in one hand and steadied himself against the back wall with the other. He could feel the rush of blood shoot up to his neck, the sound of his own arousal pounding in his ears. His heartbeat was thumping dangerously fast while he whipped his hand up and down his dick at a brutal pace. There was no desire to make it last and he couldn’t wait to empty himself with Castiel’s name hanging on his lips. Dean tightened his grip, continuing to pump relentlessly into his fist until he could feel the sensation intensify and rise up like a storm. He heard himself moan through muffled curses when wet heat was forced out with an explosive pressure that felt like it came from deep inside him. He rarely in his life experienced such a blissful sense of relief.

His fingertips clawed at the wall, a wave of pleasure running through him while he gasped in breaths of sweat-filled air until he felt strong enough to stand alone. His knot was slightly swollen, but not enough to floor him completely so he tucked himself back in and turned on the tap. He gathered up some cold water in cupped hands and splashed his face until he could feel the warm burn of his cheeks subside. Dean stood up and wiped one hand across the surface of the mirror to wipe away the mist that had accumulated from his hot breaths. He examined his face in the streak and turned his head from side to side to make sure he didn’t look too much like he had just had a frantic jerk off session in another man’s bathroom. The only evidence was a bright spark of gratification shining out from behind his eyes.

Dean was still leaking with the surge of aftershocks, adjusting his softening dick before he went back out into the corridor. He headed back to Castiel’s bedroom and blinked in surprise when he saw he wasn't there. He called his name while his eyes scanned the corners of the room, in case he had somehow missed him.

“In here.” Came a faint response from down the hall. Dean was guided by the sound until he found Castiel in the kitchen, pouring out two large cups of coffee. He had his back to him and was clothed only in boxers and a snug t-shirt that fitted his slender body perfectly. Dean slipped both arms around his waist and pressed his face into the dip of his shoulder. Castiel squirmed at the sensation and moved one hand down to wrap his fingers around Dean’s where they were joined across his stomach. He turned slowly until they were facing each other. Castiel looked up at him with a soft expression that was the closest to affection Dean had ever seen on him. Castiel pushed himself up on his toes and pressed a modest kiss against Dean's cheek.

“Thank you, Dean.”

“For what?” He asked, not sure Castiel should really be thanking him for anything at all.

“Everything.” Dean just smiled in response and tapped his fingers against Castiel’s stomach through the material of his shirt. “You smell nice.” Castiel said vaguely, like it was a stray thought he accidentally said out loud. Dean had a pretty good idea what it was he picked up on. He laughed.

“Thanks.”

They took leisurely sips from their cups of coffee in silence, and Dean could tell Castiel was over-thinking stuff again.

“I should really go back to work tonight, Dean. I can’t live on fresh air and people will only be more suspicious if I stay away.”

“No, Cas.“ Dean said firmly. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Not now we know.”

“Know… what?” Castiel asked slowly, and Dean remembered he hadn't been present during the conversation with Sam. His brother seemed fairly certain Castiel had no idea he was more unique than even he had anticipated. He wondered aimlessly if Gabriel had known, or suspected it at least. Dean felt a burst of anger at the thought Castiel’s brother had sent him into the world with nothing, and no one to protect him. Until now. Dean proudly embraced the idea he was going to be the one to fill that role with honour. “Dean.” Castiel started, setting his cup down on the counter. “I don’t need your permission, and I’m not sure what you mean by that, so please explain.”

“Nothing to explain, Cas. You were pretty upset earlier. I just want to make sure you’ll be alright.” Dean hoped that didn’t count as a lie. He neglected to mention the possibility Castiel could now be giving off potent hormones that would objectify him and draw in anyone who just wanted to use him as a nameless breeding tool. His brother was right, Castiel deserved so much better. Sam had implied it was Dean's scent claim that had pushed him into it, and he couldn’t even deal with that. Not yet. He had no right to tell Castiel what to do. Dean hoped with everything he had that one day Castiel would let his alpha claim him for life. He was so desperate to bite him. “No, you’re right.” Dean sighed. “I can’t tell you what to do, but I _can_ tell you that I’m only doing it because I - ” He stopped suddenly and coughed, rubbing at the base of his neck. Too soon. “I just want you to be okay.” Dean quickly corrected himself from what he really wanted to say. Castiel was still looking up at him. Dean ran his finger gently down one side of his face. The dark stubble scratched the soft skin of his fingertip and sent another shiver down Dean’s body. “Be safe, Cas. Call me later, okay?” Dean added, just before he left. Castiel agreed with a smile.

The door clicked shut, and Castiel missed him almost immediately. He washed up the cups and threw the wet towels in the laundry before picking out some fresh clothes for work. The minute he started to think about going outside on his own again, he could feel a wave of nausea sweep against the inside of his stomach but he pushed the feeling away as best he could. He straightened up the bedroom and checked the time on his cell.

Castiel had no idea when he left that evening, his brother would be waiting for him when he came home.

Α ✫ Ω


	16. Chapter 16

Dean needed to take a moment just to recover when the door closed, steadying himself before going back to his own room. He wasn’t used to dealing with so many different thoughts and emotions. Castiel was affecting him more deeply with every passing minute they spent together, and Dean knew his infatuation with the only male omega he had ever met was spiralling out of control. The whole thing felt like an endless whirlwind that had caught him up and refused to let him fall. Dean didn’t feel like his feet had touched the ground at all since the first time he tasted his kiss. It was amazing and terrifying at the same time. Even in only the few days he really started to get to know Castiel, Dean knew he could never live without him.

He leaned heavily against the wall, tipping his head back and closing his eyes. Dean tried to push away the feeling of shame that suddenly came over him when he thought about what he'd done. He let his alpha instincts take over after trying so hard to fight against them, but the need for release had been so powerful, Dean had to see to it right then and right there before he lost control completely. Everything about Castiel was perfect and fascinating and Dean was giving it all he had to be everything he needed him to be. It was exhausting, but he had to make sure Castiel knew he would wait for him to be ready. Ready to let Dean love him. The way Castiel had leaned into him, smiled when he caught the scent of small after-bursts of his orgasm when they were standing together in the kitchen. It was enough to make Dean believe his devotion might one day be returned. Castiel had just been lying there. Naked and wet and desperate for Dean to hold him, and holy crap he couldn't even think about it anymore.

Castiel was so sweet and beautiful. Sexy without even trying. He gave off a scent that brought him to the point of being almost edible, and if Dean had to reluctantly satisfy himself to protect his precious omega, then so be it. He banged both palms against the wall to push himself up with a sigh. He was soon standing in front of his own apartment. He slammed the door a little more loudly than intended and walked straight past Sam, who was now sitting at the counter with his laptop open again.

“You stink of sex.” Sam gave him a distasteful glance and then realized in alarm what that might imply. “Dean. You didn’t…”

“No.” Dean said defensively, with a deep frown. He had hoped Sam would know better than to think he would ever take advantage of Castiel like that while he was so upset. He took the inferred slight against his morality personally.

“Oh, thank God.” Sam breathed out in relief. He raised a curious eyebrow. “Do I want to know?”

“I sincerely doubt it.” Dean sniffed, deliberately redirecting the conversation. “Anyways. I want you to explain to me what you were saying before Cas went home. I felt like I was listening but I wasn’t really hearing it. What did you mean about those andro thingies?” Sam pushed back a smirk.

“Androgynous.”

“Yeah, that. Why do you think Cas might be one?”

“Hang on.” Sam murmured, quickly flicking through Dean’s book until he found the page on special types of omega. There were a couple of rough lined sketches, and some neatly presented paragraphs of text detailing certain characteristics of the main biological differences between them. Dean’s eyes scanned the page with interest. Sam could just see the tip of his tongue peeking out from between his lips while he concentrated on reading. Sam smiled fondly to himself.

“I’m probably gonna regret saying this out loud... but _this_ one.” Dean said slowly, prodding the image of a body outline. "This shape, the hips and stuff. Cas looks a bit like this when he’s got no clothes on.” Sam gaped at him in stunned silence for a second before he blinked wide and turned his attention back to the computer.

“Dean. I so do not want to guess how you even know that.”

“Long story... and no, I didn’t touch him before you fucking start. He was just really upset earlier. I had to drag him out the shower.”

“Shit. Upset about what?” Sam asked with concern. “You don’t think he overheard us, do you?” 

Dean shrugged and shook his head. 

“Nah. Honestly, I think everything just got on top of him. All that Gabriel business bothers him a lot more than he lets on. Bad memories, I guess.” Dean hummed his disapproval at the mention of Castiel’s brother. He decided already he disliked him intensely, and didn’t need to know anything more about him to have his resentment confirmed. Anybody who could abandon Castiel like that was a grade A dick as far as Dean was concerned, and no one would ever convince him otherwise. “He seems alright now. He was even talking about going in to work tonight.”

“You’re not planning on stalking him again, are you?” Sam teased. 

“No.” Dean replied, but then he thought about it some more. The idea of Castiel going off alone was starting to pull at all the insecurities he didn’t even know he had. “I might drop by later just to make sure he’s okay.” Dean said indifferently, tracing his fingers along the counter top.

“Dean. I’m not sure it’s a good idea for him to be alone if his heat's still in. At least walk him, or make sure he gets on the bus or something. He might have been able to fade into the background before, but his scent's different now. I think it might change again when the cycle’s over but I have no idea how long that could take. A few days or a week... a month, even. I don’t know. It’s not like we can ask him.”

“Well, doesn’t _this_ tell you anything?” Dean demanded, picking up the book and shaking it a couple of times before dropping it back down in frustration. “Considering you’ve been saying for years it's all a load of crap, you sure seem convinced now.” Dean was getting more and more anxious about Castiel going out later and he was starting to feel the swell of protective instinct coming over him again. He couldn’t do anything to stop it, and was still sore about the possibility maybe all this could have been prevented if they had known exactly what they were dealing with before he put Castiel at risk by marking him. Dean also chose to ignore the fact that if he had read his damn book properly in the first place it might have saved him, but there was nothing he could do about that now.

“I can’t say I’m one hundred per cent convinced yet, but there’s definitely something going on with him. He was reasonably okay until you drooled all over him, and look what a mess he was after. He couldn’t help any of that.” Sam blew out a deep breath. “I’ve washed those damn sheets twice already, and I still can’t get it out.” Dean hummed at the memory of the sweet scent of omega slick that had drenched his bed and made it almost impossible to breathe. He was resting his head on his hand, mouth curving up at one side. His eyes started to glaze over. “Dean, focus.” Sam nudged him with his elbow and knocked his arm out from under him. “You know, you could see if they have a job going down there for me. I’ve still had no luck, and I could keep an eye on Cas for you.” Sam suggested.

“That’s actually not a terrible idea. I’ll ask him when I see him again.” Dean replied vaguely, thoughts drifting off to a distant place in his imagination where Castiel had already let Dean claim him as his own.

“Well one of us needs to start bringing something in, and you’re no good to anyone at the minute. God knows, the violent rages were bad enough but now you’re like a lovesick puppy.” Dean stuck his bottom lip out. He hadn’t been a puppy for a very long time.

“I said I’d ask him, and I will, now _you_ focus.” Dean stressed. “I’m serious, man. I wanna know what all this stuff means. I already told you I’m sure he’s the one, Sam, and I need to know what I can do to make Cas happy. I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything.” Sam was watching his brother with new perspective. The way his eyes sparkled and his mouth twitched into a smile whenever he mentioned Castiel told Sam all he needed to know about how sincere Dean was when he spoke about just how much he longed to mate that boy.

“I know, Dean.” Sam said gently. “You haven’t talked about anything else for days.” Dean was looking up at him expectantly. He had no idea whether that required a response or not, but he seemed to be waiting for Sam to help him understand why Castiel had developed so many deep-seated phobias in his short life. Dean looked so pitifully desperate, Sam couldn’t possibly refuse him. He moved a little closer to his side. “Okay. So, let’s just say for argument’s sake, and _please_ don’t give me any details as to why you’ve seen Cas naked, he really does look similar to that - then it’s even more likely he could be an A-type, like this.” Sam pointed to the same diagram Dean had been so fascinated by earlier. “They’re anatomically different and according to this, they may even be capable of bearing children.”

“Shut up.” Dean said skeptically. Sam shrugged, willing to look at it with an open mind for now at least. Every hope Dean had been hanging on to since he presented might actually have some basis in fact after all.

“Well, they're supposed to be pretty rare and probably difficult to identify from these B-types which are the generally accepted ones. Honestly, I don’t expect you can tell them apart unless they’re naked or pregnant.” Dean actually blushed at that and Sam laughed. “Well. One down, one to go.” Dean glowered at him.

“That’s not even funny.”

“Oh, come on. It’s a little funny.” The expression on Dean’s face was fixed into a burning glare so Sam coughed and reached for the book again. “Seriously, though. It could be true, and that means you’re going to have to be really careful around him, Dean... and you know what else? I’ve been thinking maybe us moving here wasn’t a coincidence after all.” Sam said, sticking his index finger into one of the many earmarked pages. He flicked through a few until he recognized the one he was looking for.

“Oh, look. Pair-bonding.” Dean read loudly, flashing his pointed teeth in Sam’s direction. “That thing you _don’t_  believe in, remember?”

“Yeah, well.” Sam almost apologized with the look in his eyes alone. “That was before I saw you two together.” It was clear from his voice he had already accepted Castiel as a potential mate for his brother, and that made Dean’s mouth form a warm and genuine smile that made his eyes crease up at both corners. “If he really is your true mate, then you were always destined to find him anyway and FYI, Dean, it says that suppressants don’t work on pair-bond couples. Apparently, they don’t really have much of an effect anyway, and if the omega is in heat then the vasopressins counteract it. Kind of like nature is trying to outsmart all that artificial crap they might take so it will get them to mate regardless. Clever, really.” Dean’s eyes were shining when he slammed his hand down hard on the page. He had seemingly experienced a moment of unprecedented enlightenment.

“Well, there you go.” Dean grinned wide, trying hard to subdue his excitement. “Isn’t that answer enough? Cas had a shit-load of those stupid tablets in his bedroom, and I actually wondered if he took them properly ‘cause he always smells absolutely fucking delicious to me.” Sam couldn’t resist a smile at that. He could see the little lines of happiness pulling at the edges of Dean’s lips. He hadn’t seen him look so animated for many years. In Dean’s mind, his long and relentless search was finally over and he could dedicate all that time and effort into trying to captivate Castiel instead of just looking for him. “One thing I just don’t get though, is why it seems to come and go like it does.”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked, continuing to run his finger along the lines of text. He didn’t look up.

“Like he’s pawing at me one minute and sobbing the next. He runs away from me at the slightest thing and then five seconds later he’s gazing at me with those blue eyes and I swear, Sam, sometimes he looks like he wants me to drown in them.”

Sam sighed.

“Yes, Dean. They’re called hormones.”

“Oh. Right.”

“Hmm.” Sam still believed it was Dean who had set free all of those latent omega instincts as soon as he had marked Castiel. He hadn’t dared to say anything to him yet, but Sam really was genuinely concerned for Castiel’s safety. “Just keep an eye on him, Dean, is all I’m saying. It’s hardly possible to keep you two apart anyway, so it shouldn’t be too hard for you to watch him. At least ‘til he gets on the bus, if he insists on going in tonight.”

Dean replied with a quiet okay but he was clearly distracted. Sam wondered where he went when he seemed to drift off like that. He had no doubt at all it had something to do with Castiel, and everything Dean would like to do to him. He was probably better off not knowing.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel waited anxiously in the lobby that evening, aimlessly watching people pass him by while he tried to muster up enough courage to go outside now dusk had started to fall. His throat felt dry and tight again, and he could feel the beads of cold sweat starting to settle on the back of his neck. His palms were wet and sticky and he realized with growing alarm that the fear had never really gone away at all. It was just masked by the intoxication of Dean’s presence and the way his attention and care had made Castiel feel almost invincible. He understood now just how much he had let Dean indulge him since he had been sent home and it felt like he'd been living in a soft warm bubble that made everything else in the world seem so unimportant and far away.

Castiel suddenly felt his heart sink. It wasn’t real, any of it. That blissful peace that ran effortlessly through his veins when he was with Dean. It was a perfect illusion, that in reality was fragile and impermanent. _Smoke and mirrors._ Castiel thought, realizing just how easily it could all be lost in an instant. He gasped in a shuddering breath and slowly moved forward, bright glare of the traffic in the street beyond flooding his sensitive eyes and filling his head with light and noise. He brought one hand up to rub at his forehead, but it didn’t really help and everything started to fade in and out of focus again.

“Hold my hand, Cas.” A deep voice whispered at his side. “Let’s go together.” Castiel glanced up to see Dean standing beside him. He was so happy, he could have hugged him right there in front of the bay window for everyone to see. All the anxiety and fear suddenly dissipated like it had never been there at all, and that alone was enough to seal Castiel’s fate. He didn’t just want Dean anymore, he needed him like a life’s breath.

“Dean?” It was the only word he could force out while he gazed up into those soft green eyes.

“Hey. I really wanted to catch you before you left. Sam thinks I should walk you to the stop so... I’m gonna walk you to the stop. Come on.” Dean smiled. He reached out one hand and stretched all his fingers to show Castiel he wanted him to take it. Castiel hesitantly lifted up one arm and slid his hand into Dean’s. Dean grabbed for him as soon as they touched, folding his fingers firmly around Castiel’s palm, and giving it a gentle squeeze. He had no intention of letting go. Dean pulled him closer, stroking his thumb affectionately up and down the side of Castiel's hand where it was resting in his own. They walked through the lobby and out into the street. Castiel gasped in a chest full of fresh air. Dean felt him grip his hand a little tighter when they crossed the road to the bus stop. “I’ll come with, Cas... if you want me to.” Dean offered willingly. “I don’t mind.” Castiel smiled, but shook his head.

“No, it’s okay. I can’t hide away forever and I can’t ask you to do so much for me. I have no right to expect it.”

“Hey.” Dean said quickly, He took Castiel’s face in his other hand so he was forced to look up at him. “Don’t talk like that. I told you about that.” Dean added impatiently. He wasn’t certain if the light that flickered briefly across Castiel's eyes was fear or desire. It didn’t last long enough for him to be sure but he softened his voice anyway, just in case. “You don’t have to accept anything less from anyone... especially me.” Castiel never spoke a word in answer. He just let his eyes flutter shut with his face resting in Dean’s hand, mouth slightly parted. Dean hoped he was waiting for him to kiss him again, but before he was able to capture those lips against his own, the moment was gone and Dean cursed himself for not taking the chance to steal just one. Castiel would never ask for a kiss, but he had always seemed willing to return them. Dean could see the bus coming round the corner, so he reluctantly released Castiel’s hand and gave him a wink. “Listen. You call if you need me. Promise me, Cas.” The bus pulled up.

“I promise, Dean.”

“I know I upset you earlier, and I’m real sorry I stirred up all that shit about your brother.” Castiel seemed to linger on the pavement for a second, pushing both hands deep into his pockets.

“Dean, it’s fine. It was all a very long time ago and I haven’t seen him for years. I don’t even know why I got so upset. It’s forgotten.” He stepped up onto the platform and gave Dean a little wave of farewell. Dean watched him move down the aisle and take a seat by the window. Castiel stared out into the early evening as the bus pulled away. He was trying hard to ignore the knot of anxiety in his stomach and the dull ache behind his eyes. Gabriel was just a distant memory of another life. He watched the twinkling blurs of light and colour pass by with his head pressed against the glass.

Castiel wondered absently if he would ever see his brother again.

Α ✫ Ω


	17. Chapter 17

Dean slumped forward, miserably watching the bus take the corner at the end of the street. He waited on the pavement until it completely disappeared from view and blew out a deep sigh that seemed to shake his whole body. He hated the painful sense of helplessness that somehow managed to slink all the way under his skin when he wasn’t looking. He had no idea what it was that made his heart skitter every time he looked at Castiel. The almost crushing desire to keep him by his side to make sure he would never have to be alone again was becoming dangerous. Dean knew there was nothing he could do to stop it now. How desperate Castiel looked when he told Dean he didn’t want to have to face the world on his own anymore. Dean didn’t think he would ever be able to erase that image from his mind, and he didn’t really want to. It gave him hope.

He should have stopped Castiel from going off all alone knowing he was still vulnerable, and Dean felt like he had let him down somehow. He pulled his collar up, dropping his gaze low when he crossed the street back to their apartment building with a heavy heart. He picked up an evening paper and a couple of cans from the machine in the lobby before heading back upstairs, intending to catch up on many hours of missed sleep. Nervous exhaustion had seamlessly taken over his life since he first touched that soft omega skin, letting himself be lost forever to the deep blue pools of seduction that lay hidden behind Castiel’s eyes.

Dean was surprised to see Sam appeared to be packing some provisions into a small hamper when he walked back in. He gave his brother a cursory glance but didn’t ask what he was doing. Dean threw himself down on the couch in an untidy heap and tipped his head back. He shut his eyes and brought one arm up across his face. Sam could see he was trying very hard to pretend he was okay. The silence was broken only by the soft rustling of plastic wrap as Sam worked away in the other room. He gave Dean a few minutes before deciding to distract him from sulking with a few well-aimed questions.

“Cas get off alright, then?” Sam tried lightly. Dean never moved and Sam only knew he was still conscious by the muffled grunt of assent offered as a token response. Sam smiled to himself while he continued to load the box. “You tell him to be careful?” Dean started to manipulate the skin on his temples with firm circles to rid himself of an imaginary headache.

"Hmm."

“You know, you could actually try and get some sleep, Dean. I don’t think you’ve managed more than a couple of hours over the last two days and that stuff starts to mess with your head. Are you going to meet him in the morning?”

“Obviously.” Neither of them spoke again for several long minutes. Sam finished off in the kitchen and Dean heard his heavy footsteps approach. He sensed a shadow descend at his side.

“Dean? What’s really bothering you? What else did you read in those letters?” The question was unexpected, and Dean was too tired to make up a lie. Sam always seemed to know what he was thinking.

“I don’t wanna talk about it. There's just something not right.” Dean mumbled wearily. Sam sat down next to him and prodded his knee hard into Dean’s thigh.

“Okay. Later then, when you’re not so grumpy - here.” Sam said gently. Dean felt a heavy weight suddenly drop onto his stomach. He opened one eye and peered out from underneath his arm. Sam had balanced the box across his body. Dean sat up and reached for the base to stop it falling off and tumbling to the floor. He pushed himself up and popped open the lid at one corner so he could take a look inside. There was a flask of coffee, some loaded sub-rolls wrapped in plastic film, and a reasonably varied selection of fresh fruit. “Right.” Sam commanded. “Four hours shut-eye, and then you're going to go check in on your boyfriend.” He teased Dean with a small smile. “May I also suggest you tell him you just brought him some supper because you wanted to see if he was okay. You can’t even imagine the amount of kudos points you’ll get for that, and it'll give you an excuse to see Cas without him thinking you’ve gone all fatal attraction on him.”

Dean actually slept for over ten hours, and Sam didn’t even attempt to wake him until it was almost time for Castiel’s shift to finish. He gently shook him awake and sent him off to pick up Castiel from the stop and give him what would now have to serve as breakfast instead of supper.

As Dean walked through the main entrance, he noticed a man hanging about by the mailboxes. He looked vaguely familiar, but Dean was certain he hadn’t seen him there before. He watched him for a few minutes while he moved along the row with his head tilted to one side. Walking up and down, like he was trying to read something. Dean thought it a little odd, but it was soon forgotten when he saw Castiel jump down from the bus and wait on the kerb until it was safe for him to cross. Dean rushed out to meet him before he even reached the front steps. He gave him a shy wave as he approached.

“Hey, Cas.” Dean bent forward to place a hesitant kiss on his cheek. “How was it? Were you okay? Did anybody say anything to you?” Castiel smiled wide, pretending to push Dean away.

“Which one do you want me to answer first?” He laughed.

“Sorry. I just missed you. Here, I brought us some breakfast.” Dean said proudly. He thrust the hamper towards Castiel and allowed him a quick peek inside.

“Dean... that’s so kind, thank you.” Castiel answered, a look of genuine appreciation in his eyes. No one had ever done anything so thoughtful _just_ for him. Dean preened all the way up the stairs while Castiel continued to gaze up at him in awe. They were only a few metres from Castiel’s door, when Dean realized the man who had been loitering in the entrance was now standing directly in front of them. Dean was about to tell him to move along, when he felt Castiel reach frantically for his hand and dig his fingertips into his palm. He seemed like he was desperately trying to say something, but nothing actually came out. Castiel slowed down as they approached and narrowed his eyes, trying to process what he was seeing in his head.

“Gabriel?” Castiel eventually managed a whisper. “Wh… what are you… doing here?” He stammered. Dean felt him tighten the hold around his fingers.

“Gabriel?” Dean echoed in disbelief, turning to look at Castiel. “As in your dick brother, Gabriel?”

“Hey. Who the hell are you?” The man demanded. “As if you care about my brother.”

Dean was now standing between them, his head dropped low in an aggressive posture that sent a small shiver of fear down Castiel’s body. Even though he knew Dean was a powerful and dominant alpha, he had only ever shown him gentleness and patience. Dean set his shoulders square when he faced up to Castiel’s brother and held both arms in readiness at his sides. His chest was hitching with the effort of having to control his emotions enough to prevent himself from lunging straight at him.

“Fuck you, I care.” Dean forced out, sharp teeth glinting. 

“Dean, please don’t.” Castiel tried in a shaky voice. It was so fragile, it seemed completely lost in the oppressive air.

“Castiel.” Gabriel said slowly. His golden gaze remained fixed disapprovingly on Dean who was now glaring back at him with such a deep frown, it pulled at the skin around his eyes. “Control your mutt.” Castiel gasped in a choked breath, eyes flicking back and forth between the two men in alarm. He reached hesitantly for Gabriel’s arm and pleaded with him not to antagonize Dean any further. “You and I need to talk.”

“Gabriel.” Castiel whispered quietly. “I’ll come with you. Just to talk but… please, don’t say anything else. Let’s just go.” He started to tug on his jacket in an attempt to steer his brother into the apartment before one of them decided to test out exactly why Dean had acquired his alpha status in the first place. He was impulsive and defensive at the best of times, but when the safety of his potential mate had been threatened, he looked positively feral. If Castiel hadn’t known how sensitive and affectionate Dean really was, he might genuinely have been scared for his life. He imagined Dean could have possessed a very terrible presence indeed if he had accepted his role in society long ago and made the decision to take Castiel’s virtue on that first night. Castiel felt sick. “Dean, please. Give us a few minutes.”

“Fine.” Dean spat out, pushing past Gabriel and knocking hard against his shoulder when he moved by him. Dean looked back at Castiel, tender concern on his face when he lifted up one arm defiantly and prodded his index finger in their general direction. “But only ‘cause _you_ asked, Cas.” Dean added. “I don’t wanna upset you.”

Castiel exhaled a breath in relief when Dean moved away and propped his back up against the wall outside his own door so he could clearly see when they had closed themselves away in the apartment. He had no intention of leaving until they were safely inside. His heart was still beating wildly behind his ribs and he was struggling to stay away from Castiel while he looked so desperate for comfort. His arms were folded defensively across his chest. Gabriel could almost feel the burn of his searing gaze while Dean stared at him from under narrowed lids.

Castiel had no idea how long Dean stayed in the corridor after he slid the key into the lock with trembling fingers and pushed the door open. They both slipped inside and Dean tapped his fingers restlessly against his arm as he waited. He could feel the tense pull of rigid muscle under his skin, his mind running through potential scenarios in his head about what implications Gabriel’s unexpected, and definitely unwanted, arrival would have for his plan to capture Castiel’s heart. Dean had wanted to punch him right in the face for the way he immediately assumed his authority over his little brother as soon as they were together again. He wondered if Sam thought of him in the same way. He hoped not.

Everything Dean had read in those letters came flooding back, and he found himself resenting this new threat even more. It wasn’t even what he gained from them that bothered him so much. Gabriel _was_ a rival alpha, but it was a different kind of bond and for the first time in his life, Dean felt lost and insecure. Gabriel was a brother. Blood. He might not have been able or willing to offer Castiel the same things as Dean but he was still something warm and familiar. He was safety, and his only link to family and a long forgotten past. Dean believed in his heart Castiel had begun to consider him as a mate, and he hoped it wasn’t just the whispered promise of good breeding stock that was starting to sway his decision. He wanted Castiel to be with him _just_ for him. To love him completely in his own right and consent to their bond as an equal. Fuck status and rules and all the other meaningless crap. Dean would never ask for more. He would willingly wait for Castiel to accept all of that. Dean had sworn a vow to himself that he would only take him if he was certain Castiel loved him in return. He didn't deserve anything less. Dean growled low in his throat while he started to pace unceasingly outside the apartment. He would rather die than let Gabriel take his boy from him after so many years of searching.

Castiel hurriedly locked the door behind them and gestured for his brother to go through to the other room. He knew that his hands were still shaking when he dropped the key on the table and walked through to the kitchen. Castiel was watching Gabriel nervously over his shoulder while he started to hunt for a clean glass so he could offer him a drink of water at least.

“Was that him?” Gabriel asked suddenly, his voice low and compelling. “How long, Castiel? How long have you known him?” Castiel looked away when he answered. He could never lie to Gabriel.

“Not very long.” The look of horrified dismay that met his admission was enough to make Castiel defensive. “You don’t know him.” Castiel objected. Gabriel stared at him in surprise. Castiel rarely spoke out of place and there was a strained edge to his voice that made Gabriel wonder if he was actually holding back a lot more emotion than was evident on his face. “He’s a good man.” He added, in a whisper.

“Castiel.” Gabriel said firmly. Castiel stared at the ground and waited in silence. He knew instinctively what it meant when Gabriel said his name like that. He needed no other sign to show he was deliberately asserting his authority not only as his brother, but also as the alpha male of the family. It was the same tone he had used on the night he told Castiel he had to run away, and it made him feel unbelievably nauseous. The submissive respect for Gabriel’s autocracy had been established many years ago and Castiel knew that whatever he told him to do, he would have to obey without question. He had no control over the way in which Gabriel could bend him to his will with just that one simple word.

“Yes, sir.”

“You must not allow any man to claim you. Why would I send you away, just to have you fall for someone like that?” Castiel swallowed loudly, but kept his gaze fixed on the floor. He wanted to claw and scream, shout about all the wonderful things Dean had done for him in the short time they had known each other, but he couldn’t seem to speak at all. “I've spent years trying to make sure you're safe.” Gabriel continued, his voice becoming louder and more venomous with every word that spilled from his mouth. “He’s not worthy.”

Castiel flinched, wondering exactly what Gabriel could possibly mean by that. There was something else hidden in those three little words, but Castiel had no idea what he could be implying. He wasn’t special. He even told Dean the same. Castiel believed that in his heart, but Dean must have seen something bright shining in him too.

“I don’t understand.” Castiel said suddenly. Gabriel seemed to hesitate, just for a moment. He shrugged and walked over to the window. He had his back turned to Castiel but he could see his shoulders pull together in a tense movement. Almost like he was making a deliberate effort to compose himself. Castiel couldn’t see Gabriel's face at all but imagined he was frowning hard while he pretended to study a world outside the glass.

Dean had really been trying to remember something from the letters that had been picking at the back of his mind while he paced up and down the corridor, waiting for them to come back out. Suddenly it came to him in an instant, and the fury rose up inside his chest until he could hold it in no longer. He marched over to Castiel’s door and banged on it as hard as he could with both fists. As soon as Dean heard the key click in the lock, he forced his way into the apartment and words were falling from his lips before he had enough sense to stop them.

“You knew.” He blurted out, going straight to Castiel’s side. He looked terrified. “You fucking _knew_ he was special, and you still sent him out there anyway. What the hell is wrong with you?”

Gabriel’s eyes flashed with anger when Dean suddenly moved in, crowding against him. He could almost feel the heat from his body searing between them. Gabriel would be damned if he was going to justify his choices to someone Castiel had only known for a few days, and who probably made most of his life decisions with his dick.

“I sent him away to protect him from people like you.” Gabriel shouted back. Castiel began to shrink behind Dean and clutch at his jacket, peering at his brother from behind Dean’s shoulder with wide eyes. He was so frightened, Dean could feel hot bursts of anxious breath brush against his cheek. He reached behind him and wrapped one arm firmly around Castiel’s back and pulled him in close, stroking his fingertips up and down his arm to calm him. Castiel rubbed his face into the dip of Dean’s shoulder. He smelled wonderful. Strong and protective. “I knew I should have come sooner. I feared this might happen after you called me.”

“You called him?” Dean asked in disbelief. Castiel nodded.

“The other night. I was scared, Dean. I didn’t know what was happening to me, and Gabriel was the only one I could turn to. He was just trying to help.” Castiel said softly, hanging his head again.

“Help? Help how, Cas?” Dean asked, a sense of alarm pulling at every fiber of his body. Gabriel stood up a little straighter and looked Dean up and down.

“To save him.” Gabriel stated, the coldness in his voice suggesting the decision was no longer up for debate. “To stop him from being taken, and protect him from God only knows what fate he might be subjected to.” Dean was staring at Castiel in desperation. He was completely silent while he stood by his side, eyes cast to the ground. He looked so lost. “I’ve come to do something I should have done a long time ago.” Gabriel said. He reached for Castiel and circled his wrist with determined fingers. Castiel was dragged helplessly from Dean’s embrace, gasping at the sudden loss of his arm around him. Gabriel pulled him closer and played with Castiel’s jacket where it was hanging open at the front. “I’m taking you home.”

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	18. Chapter 18

Castiel could feel his brother’s fingers digging hard into his skin, so he made a determined attempt to pull his hand free. His arm got trapped, and he cried out when his wrist got accidentally twisted where Gabriel tried to hold onto him. The sound of his pain was enough to cause Dean’s stomach to lurch, and he was back by his side in an instant. He pushed his body between them with so little space left, their chests were almost touching.

“Cas? You okay?” Castiel could hear the panic rise in his voice as he watched Dean shove Gabriel away. He made a grab for Castiel’s arm. Dean pushed up the sleeve and examined Castiel's skin with concerned eyes, rubbing his palm up and down in soothing strokes and checking for any marks. Castiel nodded, watching the movement of Dean’s hand caress him.

“I’m fine.” Castiel whispered, slowly pulling his arm away so he could shove his shirt back down. Dean glared at Gabriel with a silent warning, letting him know he better keep his fucking distance. The bright eyes flickered, but he stepped back anyway. “Dean.” Castiel said gently, placing one hand over Dean’s where it was still curled around his wrist. He looked up into his eyes. “I’m fine.” He repeated, more clearly this time. He gave Dean a small smile of gratitude before turning his attention back to his brother. “Why?” Castiel demanded suddenly. “Why would you want to do that after all this time? You told me they all think I’m dead anyway.” He forced out. It didn’t sting any less when he said it out loud like that and Gabriel visibly flinched at the way Castiel’s voice seemed to tremble with anger at the pain of such a horrible memory. Gabriel’s expression soon softened when he realized how much that seemed to hurt him.

“I know what I said, but presuming isn't the same as knowing, Castiel, and I want you to come home.”

“I didn’t think you wanted me there. You sent me away.” 

Gabriel looked down. The burning guilt had never been all that easy to deal with, but he always justified it in his head with the reasons why he'd done it. He felt responsible for Castiel, but he knew now he had let him down. He never intended for his little brother to believe he'd been abandoned like that. Gabriel hoped Castiel would be able to slip into a quiet anonymous life somewhere and it looked like he might have actually achieved that, before he had been sniffed out by someone who wanted to claim him. Now he was the target of an unmated alpha, with puppies on his mind no doubt, and Castiel was so special it would never be right for him to be used like that. Looking at him now, Gabriel really didn’t think his delicate body would be able to cope with carrying a litter.

“I didn’t send you away.” Gabriel replied. “I needed you to be free from danger. People knew about you, and I didn’t want you to be abused like that. It wasn’t fair. You were just a child, and you didn’t choose to be what you are.” Gabriel stopped suddenly when he noticed Castiel’s blue eyes were now trained on him with pinpoint accuracy. It made him shift uncomfortably from one foot to the other. He bowed his head again.

“ _Knew_ about me?” Castiel asked slowly, narrowing his eyes even more. He was getting quite tired of people talking about him as if he wasn’t there, and making cryptic insinuations that were totally lost on him. He wanted one of them to at least finish a sentence without gazing mysteriously into the distance. Castiel knew he wasn’t imagining the stilted sentences and the half-finished lines. He wanted to understand why everyone was so determined he needed protection. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Castiel didn’t miss the suggestive glance exchanged between Dean and Gabriel. It just fuelled his frustration more than anything else when neither of them answered him. “I want to know why people keep treating me like I’m made of glass.” Castiel said. He moved away from both of them and crossed his arms defiantly over his chest.

“Cas.” Dean said gently. “It’s not like that. Maybe people just care.” He took a step forward and straightened up the line of Castiel’s zipper where Gabriel had pulled at his jacket. Dean smoothed the material down with one hand, dragging his gaze longingly up and down that perfect omega body. “I care.” Dean tentatively reached down to wrap both hands around the sides of Castiel’s hips and tugged him in. Dean already decided he should really let them try and sort it out together, but he wanted to stay just to make sure Castiel was okay. Dean knew his presence wasn’t helping. Gabriel was clearly distracted by him, and not in a good way. Dean slipped both thumbs through Castiel’s belt loops and gave him a seductive jerk to bring him even closer. “I think it’s best if I leave you to talk. I’m only a few doors away, if you want me.” Dean whispered next to the side of his face and scrunched up his nose. “Don’t take any shit from him either.” He added, before he gave Castiel's hips a subtle squeeze. “If he touches you again, you come get me and I’ll knock his fucking teeth out.” Dean promised, before leaving the apartment in silence. The door had barely closed behind him when Gabriel turned to stare at Castiel with a look of such distaste on his face, it implied Dean had somehow left him tainted with the contagion of his mere existence.

“Well, he’s delightful. I can totally understand what you see in him.” Castiel’s expression faded into sadness when he turned his face away.

“You don’t have to be mean. Please don’t say things like that about him, he's been very kind to me.” Gabriel tipped his head back in despair. He slammed one hand down on the table. 

“Of course he has, Castiel. He wants to take advantage of you. I find it very difficult to believe you are really so naive after all this time on your own.” Castiel didn’t reply. Gabriel had obviously made up his mind about Dean, and nothing he could say right now was going to change that. He hoped one day Dean would get a chance to prove he was more than worthy. 

“I’m sorry, Gabriel. I know you’ve come a long way and I appreciate your concern for my safety, but I don’t want to go back. There’s nothing there for me.”

“There’s nothing for you here, and you’re coming home. I’ve made my decision.”

“No, Gabriel. I want to stay.” Castiel said. His eyes drifted effortlessly to the apartment door. Gabriel followed the line of his brother's gaze. He knew exactly what Castiel meant by that.

“You mean, you want to stay with _him_.” Gabriel sighed, nodding his head towards the space where Dean had been standing only a few seconds before.

“Yes.”

Gabriel dropped his voice low.

“Castiel. If you've decided you actually want to be mated after all, then I will find you a man of rank or privilege. With our family connections, it wouldn’t be difficult to marry you off to a wealthy suitor.” Castiel was blinking at him in disbelief.

“No, Gabriel. Haven't you listened to anything I’ve said? I don’t want that. I don’t want to be married to someone I don’t know and I haven’t decided if I want to be mated to anyone yet. The only thing I know for sure right now, is that I want to be with Dean.” He added firmly, waiting for some kind of response. Castiel had no idea what to expect from his brother anymore. He had changed a lot since they parted. He once believed Gabriel at least would be the one who would understand him, but something had got lost along the way. It made him feel sad. “Just give him a chance... please.”

Gabriel sighed, but had no intention of providing his brother with an answer.

“I have to go into town for something today.” Gabriel said suddenly. Castiel wondered what possible reason he could have for needing to travel into the middle of a city where he knew no one and had only just arrived anyway, but he didn’t ask. Maybe the trip might help Gabriel to clear his head and think about what Castiel had said. “I’ll think about it. I can’t say more than that right now.”

Castiel nodded. He knew his whole body was still shaking when he walked Gabriel to the door. It closed for a second time. He would be back for him later. That much Castiel knew for sure but he had Dean now, and Dean made him strong. His first thought was to go to him. The door opened so quickly when he tapped on it, he knew Dean must have been waiting for him. He looked very restless.

“Are you alright?” Castiel asked gently, eyes scanning the dim apartment. Most of the blinds were closed. Castiel could see Dean was still angry, but he was trying his best to manage it so Castiel wouldn’t be scared of him. That was the last thing Dean wanted. He had worked so hard to win his trust and respect. He didn’t want anything to threaten all the progress he had made to secure his affection.

“Not really. Sam got mad at me for interfering, so we got into a fight. He said he was going out to give me some time to cool off.” Dean looked troubled when he walked back over to Castiel. He wasn’t sure how much he should say, and Dean had to admit if _he_ was made to choose between his brother and Castiel, he couldn’t even start to imagine how impossible that would be. Castiel still wasn't sure if he had been happy to see Gabriel or not. He couldn’t deny he had missed him over the years and he was the only link to his past, but the thought of having to go with him and leave Dean forever was making his heart beat violently in his chest. He didn’t want to have to make that choice at all. If Gabriel decided he wanted to take him back home, Castiel didn't know if he was really strong enough to refuse him. Deep down there was no question Gabriel outranked him and Castiel had always been terrified of him as a child when he was angry. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I have no right to come between you.” Castiel was reaching out for him when Dean got closer. He splayed his fingers wide to make a grab for Dean’s hand.

“You were just protecting me.” Castiel could feel his blood surging in his veins. Letting omega instincts take control of his body at the thought of his alpha taking such good care of him. Dean moved in. A subconscious response to the flush spreading up Castiel’s throat and creeping over his cheekbones.

“It’s just.” Dean hesitated, licking his lips while he stared at Castiel’s mouth. “I don’t wanna lose you. The thought of you leaving me…” He inhaled a tight breath. Castiel could see Dean was biting back his emotion so hard, he couldn’t even finish the sentence. Dean pressed his body into Castiel where he was pinned up against the door and Castiel slid both palms up his chest. He could feel the strong contours of Dean’s body through the soft material of his t-shirt. “Cas, don’t get too close.” Dean warned, in a whisper. He sounded more alarmed than resentful. “You know that scent of yours drives me wild, and I’m trying to be a gentleman here.” Castiel smiled playfully, pushing his hands up even more until his palms were curled over Dean’s shoulders. He could feel his heartbeat thumping under the surface of his skin. Dean held his breath when Castiel pushed his body up to meet him and threaded his fingers together across the back of Dean’s neck. Castiel could almost taste the moment when small beads of sweat started to leak out of him. “Cas, please... stop it.” Dean begged, a surge of arousal rushing between his legs. His natural senses flooded by the powerful smell now exuding from every omega pore.

“What if I don’t want to stop it?” Castiel breathed against Dean’s lips.

“What?”

“I’m not leaving, Dean. I want to stay here with you.” The small space between their mouths was filled with desperate gasps of air while Dean fought to keep his hands above Castiel’s waist.

“Do you mean it?” Dean asked. Hope curled inside his chest, spilling out from between his lips before he could stop himself from sounding so desperate.

“Yes.”

“Oh, Cas.” Dean panted, pushing Castiel against the door with the force of his body and devouring his open mouth with careless, hungry kisses. It felt like he was trying to pull out all the tender promises from deep inside Castiel’s body and swallow them down whole to keep them safe. Castiel was grabbing for a better hold on Dean’s shoulders, trying to gather him in and touch as much of his alpha as he could. Castiel had never let himself give in to so much unrestrained passion, but the realization Dean was prepared to fight for him sent a shiver of need through every part of his body. He clawed at the skin of his neck to hold him still and let Dean explore his mouth with a warm, wet tongue.

Castiel felt Dean slide both hands across his ass and pick him up so he was wrapped around him. Dean hitched him up, and carried him through to his bedroom. Their mouths were still fixed together while Dean ran one arm up his spine and cradled the back of Castiel's head. He dropped him on top of the covers. When Dean finally pulled away, he could see that those blue eyes were almost black with desire, the pink curves of his full lips shining with Dean’s kisses. Castiel spread his legs and let Dean settle between his hips. Dean moved his hands up and down his omega's body and pressed him into the bed, pushing himself up on his arms so he could look down at him while he rutted their bodies together.

Castiel slipped his hands up into Dean’s hair and twisted a few of the longer lengths around his fingers. Dean’s breath came out in a long stream of heat and want. He lowered his head until the ends of their noses were touching, rubbing the tips together in a gesture of intimate affection. Castiel gently curled his hand around the curve of Dean’s back and pulled him down. Dean made a mumbled promise that was lost in Castiel’s mouth when he forced it open again with a demanding kiss. Castiel was pinned underneath him and Dean sucked on his tongue with a craving for more that seemed to come from somewhere deep inside him. He licked at the soft plaint lips and gently pulled the bottom one into his mouth. Castiel chased the feeling when Dean pulled away for air. His mouth was tingling, little bolts of arousal shooting down his body. Dean was rigidly hard with the sensation of Castiel’s hips arching up against him.

“Cas... you need to tell me to stop if you’re not ready. I don’t think I'll be able to control myself if we go any further. I want you. Fuck, I want you so much.” Castiel tilted his ass up when a sticky surge of slick ran down the inside of his thighs and soaked through the material of his shorts. A deep rumble of lust caught in Dean’s throat when he realized Castiel was open and ready for him. He had invested so much time in trying to show his omega he wasn’t just another one of those untamed creatures that haunted his nightmares, Dean forced himself to roll away and onto his side. He slipped one hand around Castiel's back and started to mark his neck with soft moist bites that lightly grazed his skin, a shadowed promise of the sharp teeth that could take him in a heartbeat. “Don’t take those pills any more, Cas.” Dean breathed against him, resisting the urge to shove his hand down the back of Castiel’s shorts and feel the warm thick oil glide between his fingers. “They don’t seem to work on me anyway, and I don’t want you to have to hide what you are anymore. You’re so beautiful. I want the world to see you’re going to be mine.”

Castiel curled up and gently rested his head on Dean’s chest. _Mine_. That was the word that echoed in his thoughts while he snuggled into Dean and closed his eyes. Castiel knew what he wanted now and he didn’t need to fight it anymore. He hummed quietly, murmuring Dean’s name in the darkness. He let himself be enveloped by the tender warmth of an arm around his waist and felt the peaceful rise and fall of Dean's chest beneath him.

“Cas.” Dean added quietly. “I want us to be together forever.” Castiel smiled against Dean’s body. “…and don’t think for one minute, that being different makes me want you any less.”

Castiel tensed. He heard Dean gasp at how carelessly he let those words slip out.

“What?”

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	19. Chapter 19

“Shit.” Castiel heard Dean curse through a whispered breath before pulling away to give him an accusatory stare. He didn’t blink at all while he searched Dean’s eyes.

“Dean?” Castiel prompted anxiously. He could feel his heart rate start to creep up again. He was waiting for something more, but Dean was just watching him in silence. His green eyes sparkled in the dim light and Castiel felt the arm around him tighten when Dean tried to drag him close again. Castiel held back. “What do you mean ‘different’?” He asked slowly. He wasn't going to let Dean escape from explaining something like that.

“Cas.” Dean began apologetically. He could feel the heat of Castiel’s warm body move against him. “C’mere.”

“No, Dean.” Castiel said with a stubborn pout, sitting up a little more. His eyes were still fixed on Dean’s, but his arm had dropped away from Castiel's waist and was now resting limply across his lap. Dean could feel the little round bump of omega arousal pushing up into the skin of his arm. Castiel had been so ready for him. Dean wasn't used to having to be careful about what he said, and had never really cared much before about diplomacy or tact, but his big mouth had almost cost him Castiel’s trust on more than one occasion. Dean made a mental note that he really did need to try and think ahead when he was with him.

“I didn’t really mean anything by it.” Dean stammered. He pushed his body up the bed and leaned heavily against the pillows, pulling up his legs and resting his elbows on his knees. He ran one hand through his hair. There was no way he was going to lie to him, but approaching something like that was going to be difficult and Dean really didn’t understand much of it himself. Trying to tell Castiel he looked like some fantasy in a lore book was almost impossible. He wished Sam was there, despite the fact he was still pissed at him for balling him out earlier. “Listen.” Dean forced himself to look into Castiel’s eyes again, stumbling to explain. “I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have said that. I’m so tired, Cas, and stuff just falls out my mouth.”

Castiel’s expression seemed to soften slightly, but he kept his distance. He started to run the sheet through his fingers in a nervous gesture Dean actually found quite endearing. He sometimes forgot just how vulnerable Castiel still was. It really wasn’t very long since he had been a bundle of restlessness and paranoia and Dean was secretly hopeful that it was in part, his care and affection that had helped his anxieties to fade. He had to make Castiel strong again so he could tell him exactly how he felt. He had to make sure he really wanted Dean to claim him. He didn’t want to just fuck and knot him to ensure he would belong to him and bear his mark forever. Dean wanted to make love to him.

The beauty of those pictures in his head and in his dreams, where he imagined how he would watch Castiel’s mouth fall open in silent pleasure when he pushed into him for the first time. How he could draw honeyed sounds from his lips as he licked and sucked while Castiel fell apart beneath him. He wanted to touch every last part of that delicate pale skin and fill him up until he was begging for release. Dean had to force all those delicious images from his mind and stop himself from covering Castiel with his body like he wanted to. He opened his mouth to say something else, when they both heard the front door slam.

“Dean?” Sam shouted. There was still a tense edge to his voice and Dean had to consciously pretend he forgot about their disagreement. He really needed his help.

“In here. I’m with Cas.” Dean replied. He remembered to warn Sam he wasn't alone after the last time he walked in on them making out. Now Dean was more concerned about the fact he was going to have to explain why he had been so interested in him in the first place. There might have once been some shred of pity that had drawn him to Castiel, but not now. Somewhere deep inside, Dean knew he was hopelessly in love with him but the rest of him was still in denial. The tried and tested Winchester method of stopping himself from getting hurt. He had never wanted anything more than to spend his life with Castiel and he couldn’t imagine it without him anymore. Dean made the decision to tell him everything and risk the consequences. “It’s okay. We’re not doing anything.” Dean called out. Sadly. He pushed himself up from the bed. Dean didn’t want to hide anything else from Castiel, so he reached out one hand and flexed his fingers a few times to encourage him to take it. “Come with me, Cas. There’s something I need to show you.” Castiel looked hesitant at first, but Dean’s expression was open and honest and he watched the movement of his hand with interest while it stretched out for him. He slipped his own hand into Dean’s and let him drag him up from the bed and into his waiting arms. He quickly wrapped himself around Castiel and pinned him close. “Got ya.” Dean breathed against the side of his face, hands slipping down to curve around both sides of his ass and pull him in.

“You cheated.” Castiel smiled, inhaling a mouthful of air when he felt Dean’s erection rubbing forcefully against his own.

“Cas, I can’t lie.” Dean murmured, slipping the fingers of one hand into Castiel’s back pocket. “I wanna do some really bad things to you.” He heard Castiel hold back a soft moan and Dean could see his eyes were sliding closed again. The scent of drying slick was still heavy in the air, and Dean could only imagine how yummy that would look slipping out of him. “But.” Dean said purposefully, adjusting himself while he tried to ignore the throbbing pulse of a swelling knot. “I want you to try and understand why you’re so important to me. I think you need to know everything.” Dean added, only pulling away so he could once again entwine Castiel's hand with his own and lead him out of the bedroom.

Sam was waiting for them with his arms crossed over his chest. He glanced down, but if he noticed they were holding hands, he didn’t say anything. Dean nudged Castiel forward with a gentle prod of encouragement. He gestured for him to take a seat at the table and kicked one of the chairs across the floor so he could sit as close to him as possible. He reached for his hand again.

“Sam.” Dean called, jerking his head towards Castiel. “I want you to tell Cas what you told me about those omegas.” Sam’s eyes popped open in surprise.

“Okay.” He answered cautiously. He was glad Dean had started to reveal what was in his heart to Castiel, but he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to deal with all the possibilities of what that could mean for their future if Dean really intended to breed him. Sam glanced at his brother like he was asking for silent permission to speak, presuming Dean wanted him to help Castiel understand what he'd learned over the last few days. Sam had to sympathize with him. It must be terrible not knowing who you really were or where you came from. He wanted to soften the blow as much as possible, so he laid one hand across his arm in support. Dean was edging closer and watching Sam when he placed the lore book in front of Castiel.

“What’s this?” Castiel asked suspiciously, already worried he was apparently the subject of hushed conversations. People he trusted trying to find things out about him he didn’t even know himself just made him feel sick again. He examined the smooth lines of the symbols that decorated the leather cover. He recognized their significance at once but wasn’t sure where the conversation was heading and Dean still had a painfully possessive grip on his fingers. He was finding it really hard to concentrate. Sam sensed his brother would probably not be able to help himself from butting in with his random two cents worth. He didn’t exactly have an impartial view of the situation.

“Dean.” Sam attempted. “Maybe you could pop downstairs and fetch us some soda?” Dean’s overbearing and unnecessarily suffocating concern for Castiel was starting to skew his perception.

“Now?” Dean gaped, and Sam nodded. Dean sighed and leaned into Castiel. “You be alright for a few minutes?” He asked, brushing his lips against Castiel’s cheek. He slid one hand into the dip at the top of his leg where it joined his hip.

“Yes, Dean. I will be fine.” Castiel replied patiently. Dean gave Sam one of his special looks, reluctantly letting go of Castiel’s hand. He got up to fetch his wallet from the counter.

“Okay, I get it. I’m going.” Dean sighed, giving Castiel one last lingering look of devotion before closing the door quietly behind him. They could hear his muffled curses all the way down the corridor. Sam took hold of the book and slowly opened it before turning it around so it was facing Castiel. Neither of them spoke while Castiel’s eyes scanned the images and text in silence. He lifted his hand and etched around one of the outlines with the tip of his finger. He finally looked up to meet Sam’s gaze.

“Why did you show me this?” He breathed. Sam smiled gently at him.

“Honestly, Cas, I might be wrong but I think you could be a special kind of omega, like this one here. Dean’s had this book a long time and we - ” He paused, trying to draft out a way to phrase it without causing him any more distress, or dropping Dean in the shit. “We've been searching for a mate for him for years.” Castiel looked confused.

“But surely he could have found someone by now? I mean I’m glad he didn’t, but if Dean never knew about me, why would he wait all this time? He could have easily taken a mate.”

“Not just any mate, a true mate.” Sam added, with another smile. “A pair-bond. That’s what he’s wanted since the day he presented. Dean always believed he would find his one day. He never gave up hope, and God knows I shot him down enough over the years. I didn’t really believe in it.” Sam explained carefully. “I think I was wrong. He never looked at anyone the way he looks at you.” Sam admitted. He couldn’t deny the intensity in the way Dean always gazed at Castiel like he was dependent on him for every single beat of his heart. “Here, look.” Sam continued. “It basically says that a pair-bond is like some kind of unbreakable affinity that develops between two people. It might just refer to a relationship with the same person that lasts their whole lifetime, and it seems to be more common with lovers of the same sex for some reason. Sometimes it’s just a stage in the eventual mating process of an alpha and an omega.” Castiel’s expression had faded into something dark, and Sam bit into his lip. He might as well tell him everything now and deal with the fallout later. “These chemicals called vasopressins and another one, dopamine I think, kind of allow these pair-bond couples to ensure they find the right mate, wherever they are. Like destiny, I suppose.” Sam added thoughtfully. He could see Castiel was starting to become agitated again. “What’s the matter?” Sam asked with concern. “Too much?” Castiel inhaled slowly.

“Maybe.” He was still studying the outline of the sketch that was practically jumping off the page and slapping him across the face. It was like looking in a mirror. He never even considered he was anything different, or special and the suggestion he had somehow been made just for Dean was making him feel powerless again. If that was true then everything he had done up until then had been pointless and inconsequential. “Dean… thinks I might be one of these special omegas?” Castiel asked in amazement.

“Not just that, Cas.” Sam shook his head with a soft smile. “I think he really believes you’re the only one for him. It was you he’s been desperate to find all these years.” Castiel felt a rush of fear and warmth flow through him at the same time. He was scared what this might mean, but didn’t dare to hope the depth of his feelings for this alpha who was so different could be returned so deeply. He knew Dean wanted him. He had told him so himself, but Castiel could never have imagined Dean believed he was someone he could love so completely and bond with in such a profound way.

“Dean wants me to stop taking my suppressants.” Castiel said suddenly. Sam removed his hand.

“Why the hell would he want you to do that now?” Sam screwed up his nose. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Cas. Not before you’re… well, you know.” He added, raising both eyebrows. He desperately wanted to say ‘before you’re mated’ but he didn’t think it was right to presume Castiel was on the same page as Dean already.

“Why is all this happening now? I’ve been in heat before, but it was never like that.” Castiel said quietly.

“I think you should ask Dean that.” Sam replied. “That’s not for me to say.” Castiel frowned. He had no idea why Sam would be so vague, or reluctant to answer the many questions now cascading through his mind like tiny endless streams.

“Sam.” Castiel insisted. “Please, just tell me.” Sam drew in a deep breath, fighting between his loyalty to Dean and the need to do what was right.

“All I know is that I think it might have had something to do with Dean marking you.”

“Marking me?” Castiel gasped. “What do you mean?” Sam closed his eyes.

“He put a scent claim on you.” Sam's shoulders sagged. Dean was going to kill him.

“Why?” Castiel felt hot tears prick at the corners of his eyes. “Why… would he do that?” He asked brokenly, breathless with little gasps of disbelief.

“I don’t think he intended to put you in danger. He was just terrified someone would touch you before he had the chance to tell you the truth about being an alpha.”

Castiel’s eyes were darting frantically across the text in front of him, searching for something that might explain why Dean felt the need to try and claim him without permission. It went against everything he believed in, and made Dean’s promises suddenly seem worthless and hollow. Dean returned a few minutes later with his arms full of soda cans. He hung about in the lobby for a while so Sam could talk to Castiel without him being there. He wasn’t stupid. He knew Sam only sent him downstairs to get him out of the way. When Dean looked between them, he could tell that whatever had been said, wasn't something Castiel wanted to hear.

“Dean.” Castiel said firmly. “Did you try and claim me without asking?” Dean froze. His eyes flicked over to Sam. He mumbled something incoherent, but there was little point in denying it.

“Shit, Cas. I didn’t mean to.” Dean promised, senses returning when he let go of the cans in alarm. They fell to the floor and clattered together while he rushed straight over to Castiel and dropped between his knees. “I didn't know just scent-marking you would push you into a heat like that.” Dean leaned into him and ran his hands up the inside of Castiel's thighs. He squeezed the soft flesh and rubbed circles into it with searching thumbs. Castiel didn’t say anything more. His eyes were once again filled with disappointment, and it made Dean’s heart ache. “Cas, don’t be mad - it’s not like that. I didn’t know about all this other stuff and we weren’t ‘researching’ you, or whatever. I just knew there was something different about you and I wanted to be sure. I think your brother knew, too.”

“My brother?” Castiel exclaimed, drawing in a painful gasp of denial. “No, you’re wrong. All of you.” His breaths were coming faster every time he inhaled and Dean could see his chest start to heave in and out with the effort. “I don’t want that to be me. I don’t want that.” He cried. Castiel ran from the room and threw himself full length across Dean’s bed. He buried his face in his hands and Dean quickly followed him and shut the door, forcing his body into the space next to Castiel. He could feel him trembling with emotion when Dean pulled him into his arms. 

“Hey, come on.” Dean whispered, kissing his cheek and cuddling up close. Dean could almost taste him when he rubbed his mouth against the soft dark hair. “I would never hurt you, Cas, _never_. I didn’t know, I swear. I’m so sorry, baby.” He was pressing in tight along the line of Castiel’s body and Dean sensed the beat of that omega heart flutter when he calmed him in such a sweet way. He hadn’t been able to keep that word in, and it was getting increasingly difficult to stop his body from subconsciously responding to the idea he was going take Castiel as a mate one day. Dean could feel himself getting hard again and tried to hide it by moving over onto his stomach, but Castiel could trace the scent of his arousal. He arched against Dean, and breathed him in. He wasn’t even mad anymore. He just wanted his alpha to hold him when he smelled like that.

“Do you think that could be what Gabriel meant about you not being worthy?” Castiel asked suddenly. Dean shrugged against him.

“Maybe. I don’t care what he thinks, Cas.” Dean sighed. “I don’t need to prove to him that I’m good enough to be with you, I only need to prove it to you.” He shifted on the bed and smoothed one hand over Castiel’s back in tender, loving strokes. “I meant what I said. I’ll do anything you ask to show how much you mean to me.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Gabriel hadn't been idle since he left the apartment that morning. He had hurriedly arranged a meeting with an old business associate who had opened up a new place in the centre of town. He hadn't spoken to him for some time but Castiel’s stubbornness had now forced his hand, and desperate times called for desperate measures. Gabriel was sitting patiently in the waiting room and admiring the faultless shine of the gold plaque gracing the wall outside his office.

_Fergus Roderick McLeod._

Gabriel smiled to himself. He had definitely come to the right place. He was certain he would be able to persuade this man to take a vested interest in keeping a watchful eye on Castiel and make damn sure that no one, especially someone as worthless as Dean Winchester, would ever be able to claim his brother.

Α ✫ Ω


	20. Chapter 20

Sam decided he should probably check on Dean and Castiel after an hour or so, when they still hadn't emerged from the bedroom. He tapped politely on the door a couple of times but got no response. Sam pushed down the handle so he could move the door open just a crack. What he saw caused him to let the door swing wide, his expression melting with tender affection when his mouth lifted up into a mushy smile.

They had both fallen asleep wrapped around each other on top of the covers. Dean was on his back with one arm holding Castiel close, and the other was resting on Castiel’s thigh where he had one leg angled over Dean’s hips to pin him down. They looked so settled there together, the air around them filled with the gentle release of their warm breaths while they slept. Sam just watched them for a while. He couldn’t remember Dean ever being so happy. The way he had put everything he had into making Castiel feel safe and protected made his heart swell with pride. Sam hoped nothing would ever threaten the peace they had somehow found in each other. Castiel lazily murmured Dean’s name against his chest, and Dean subconsciously curled his arm around him in his sleep and nuzzled his face into his hair.

Sam gently pulled the door closed again and decided to leave them to rest. The last few days had been exhausting and he knew Dean hadn't slept properly since their first meeting. Now Castiel was safe in his arms, he had drifted off almost effortlessly and that told Sam all he needed to know about the cause of his brother's insomnia. Dean just needed to feel Castiel next to him to be completely at peace. Sam might have actually considered that rather adorable if he let himself admit it.

He fished around in a nearby drawer for a pen and paper so he could scrawl a quick note to let them know he was going into town on another mindless job-hunting mission. Dean never told him if there was anything going down at dispatch, so he decided to start there anyway. It was the perfect place to be able to watch out for Castiel, and Sam was sure it would be easy to fall in to a routine like that. He flicked the catch on the front door when he left and locked them both safely in the apartment.

Dean awoke first with a start when the muffled wail of a siren dipped in and out of pitch on the street outside. He groaned uncomfortably, a crick in his back sending a sharp twinge of pain down his spine. His body had been arched into Castiel at such an unnatural angle, he had to stretch out a little just to ease the discomfort. Dean looked down at the man still sleeping beneath him and smiled. Castiel's cheeks were flushed and marked with lines where the soft skin of his face had been pressed into Dean’s side. He reached up one hand and gently traced the creases with a fingertip until he reached the corner of Castiel’s mouth. Dean ran it across the moist curve of his lips and Castiel stirred at the delicate touch. Dean bent his head and kissed the damp skin of his throat, pushing one hand under the front of his shirt and slipping it gracefully inside so he could feel the warmth of Castiel’s body spread across his palm. Dean could feel the regular bumps of his ribs under the skin, and smoothed tender caresses over each one and all the way down his stomach until he reached the top of his pants. He dipped one trembling finger under the button and stroked the sensitive dip just above his dick, still suckling at his neck. Castiel looked up at Dean after a few seconds and blinked at him through the blue haze of half-closed eyes.

“Hey, sleepy head.” Dean murmured against his jaw. Castiel rubbed his eyes and sat up. Dean reluctantly withdrew his hand.

“What time is it?” Castiel yawned.

“Not late.” Dean answered casually, carefully sweeping a stray lock of dark hair from Castiel’s face. He could see the daylight trickling through the gaps in the blinds. “I’m gonna get up and take a quick shower.” Dean said, peeling off his t-shirt. “I think you drooled on me.” Castiel blushed, his eyes opening wide. Dean couldn’t be sure whether it was because of what he said, or because Dean was now half-naked by his side.

“Oh, God... sorry. I didn’t realize I was so tired.” Castiel muttered, forcing himself to look away from the tanned planes of the broad alpha chest that was now so dangerously close, he could feel a little burst of slick forming. Dean laughed and balled up the damp material in his hand. He playfully knocked Castiel onto his back and rubbed the makeshift weapon hard into his stomach. They were both writhing on top of the covers when Dean suddenly stopped. He quickly straddled Castiel and pinned both of his arms firmly above his head to stop him from moving and risking a knee to the balls.

The room seemed infinitely quiet while they just stared at each other. Castiel was looking up at him with an expression that almost took Dean’s breath away. His dark lashes were casting a shadow on top of both his cheeks, still pink from embarrassment. It made them look long and seductive when his blue eyes finally slid open. Dean sensed his gut twist with the dull burn of something powerful rising up the centre of his chest. It consumed his senses and gripped at his throat from the inside. There were so many things he wanted to say to Castiel, but every single one of them seemed to be stuck fast. When he eventually spoke, his voice sounded small and broken.

“Cas, I want to ask you something.” Dean muttered through the silence. Castiel blinked hard but he didn’t say anything. Dean released his grip on Castiel’s wrists and put both hands on the pillow at either side of his head. He was leaning forward enough for Castiel to see the wild thrum of an irregular heartbeat pounding against the skin of his chest. “But I don’t really know how to say it.” He whispered shyly. Castiel was watching the light flicker behind his eyes. Dean wanted to know how this one man could have flooded him so completely with new and terrifying emotions.

“Anything, Dean.” Castiel encouraged. He settled back against the squashed pillows and stretched up one arm to brush a feather-light touch across Dean’s shoulder. He moved his hand in small circles over the curve, pressing down more firmly with every swirl of his palm. Dean shivered. “You know you can ask me anything.”

“Cas. I… you know I think that… well, I think I - ” Dean stumbled over the words. He couldn’t even seem to manage to put together at least one coherent sentence. He sounded so pitiful, he wondered why Castiel bothered to humour him at all, but when Dean looked back down he saw Castiel was biting back a smile.

“Yes, Dean.” Castiel said softly, putting his index finger gently to Dean’s lips to silence him. “I know.”

Dean relaxed enough to hold Castiel's hand fixed against his mouth. He felt a sudden burst of confidence knowing Castiel knew how much he wanted to keep him, and he was still there anyway. Lying beneath him with their damp skin almost touching. Castiel hadn’t run away or made excuses, or demanded Dean leave him alone, and looking down into the depths of those beautiful eyes the only conscious thought in Dean’s head was how much he longed to dive into them and be lost to the fathomless abyss of blue.

His heart filled with hope that maybe Castiel wanted him, too.

Dean gently nibbled at the fleshy tip of Castiel’s finger where it was still pressed against the curve of his bottom lip. Dean sucked it in up to the first knuckle and then pulled it out slowly.

“Will you let me prove myself to you?”

Dean took Castiel’s finger in almost down to the base before he dragged it out again, separating each movement with a long glide over his tongue. On the last one he sucked so hard, his cheeks hollowed out when the whole digit disappeared inside his mouth. Castiel gasped at the sensation when Dean swirled the tip of his tongue around it where it was still wedged between his lips. Castiel inhaled a shallow breath, watching his wet finger finally slip out of Dean’s mouth.

“Dean.” Castiel gave him a fond smile. “It’s not the fourteenth century.”

“Well, what can I say?” Dean shrugged, carefully releasing Castiel's arm. “I’m really just an old-fashioned romantic and I don’t want to make assumptions, but don’t ever tell anyone I said that. 'Specially not my little shit of a brother.”

“Dean? What are you trying to ask me?” Castiel narrowed his eyes a little, studying the alpha’s face in the dim light. Dean was hoping Castiel was going to give him the answer he had wanted to hear since the moment he realized he had found the other half of his heart.

“I’m saying I want to make this official.” Dean sounded stronger, but there was a desperate childlike uncertainty behind that steady gaze. The fear Castiel might refuse him was so intense, Dean couldn’t even think about it. He quickly locked all the painful insecurities inside a little box and shoved it right to the back of the top shelf in the darkest recess of his mind. “If you’ll have me.”

“Dean - ”

“Well, I can’t exactly ask Gabriel for your hand.” Dean pulled his mouth into a thin line. “He might chop it off.” Castiel frowned, but his eyes were still smiling. “I know this might sound stupid.” Dean continued, fidgeting nervously with the crumpled remains of his t-shirt. Once he had made the decision to pour his heart out to Castiel, there was no stopping him. He seemed more than prepared to just listen patiently to Dean with his head tilted to one side. “But I can’t take this anymore. I can’t sleep. I don’t eat. Everything is just _you_ and I need to understand what this is, Cas. I have to know if one day you might want to be with me… like _really_  be with me.” Castiel was just staring at him. The confession was so unexpected, he had absolutely no idea how to respond. “Oh, God... please say _something_.” 

Castiel stroked his fingers all the way down Dean's arm until he reached his hand. “I think I would like that, Dean.” He whispered, at last. “I think I would like that very much.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Gabriel tapped his fingers restlessly against his knee while he waited for someone to come out and fetch him. After a few minutes, the door opened. A man in a black suit, broken only by a charcoal tie, sauntered out. His face broke into a forced smile of recognition when he saw him.

“Gabriel, you look well.” He said, closing in on him when he stretched out his hand. Gabriel stood up to return the handshake. 

“Fergus.” He replied politely. “Likewise.”

“Oh, it’s Crowley now.” The man corrected, gesturing for Gabriel to join him in his office. He could sense Gabriel didn't understand the reference, so the man explained without waiting for him to ask. “Just a stupid nickname. Some of the new betas say I work them like the devil.” He laughed out of mild amusement and shut the door behind them. “After the magician, presumably. I didn’t ask. Drink?”

“No. No, thank you. It’s a bit early for me.” Gabriel answered. He watched Crowley move over to a cabinet by the back wall and pour out a large serving of whisky into a glass tumbler. He took a generous sip and positioned himself in the seat behind his desk opposite Gabriel.

“Well, I know you haven’t come here to make small talk.” Crowley said, as soon as he was settled. Gabriel had to give him some credit. He certainly knew how to get straight to the point.

“No.” Gabriel replied flatly. “Listen, Fergus. I know we didn’t part on the best of terms, and I can’t say I condone the ‘nature’ of your business.” He hesitated, while his eyes scanned the pseudo-erotic pictures that lined the walls.

“Hmm.” Crowley offered vaguely. Gabriel shifted uncomfortably in his chair. 

“But honestly, you’re the only person I know in this town and my brother - ” He stopped suddenly when he noticed Crowley was watching him a little too intently. Gabriel stumbled to try and give a reason why he had bothered to search him out after such a long time. “I’m concerned about him. I know you have a lot of influence here and I wanted to ask you to take him under your wing, so to speak.” Crowley nodded, and took another drink. “I’ll pay you, of course.” Gabriel added quickly, trying to sweeten the deal. He knew Crowley had an unnaturally passionate love for the money that funded the life he was accustomed to, and Gabriel had no doubt it would definitely talk on this occasion.

“You want a guardian for him? Is that what you’re asking?” Crowley prompted. Gabriel huffed a laugh. 

“God, no. The guy’s thirty-two. He doesn’t really need anyone to look after him, although he is a bit on the skittish side.” He added, nervously licking his lips while he debated just how much personal information he should really divulge about Castiel. He had some serious reservations about putting his trust in a man like Crowley, but when he thought about the alternative, Gabriel felt compelled to continue. The thought of someone like Dean Winchester sinking his teeth into his brother’s delicate neck made him feel sick to his stomach. He hadn’t kept him safe from over-sexed alphas all this time for him to become a submissive fuck toy for anyone who clad himself in leather and denim and always looked at Castiel like he wanted to eat him. “He’s an omega.” Gabriel blurted out. Crowley suddenly sat up straight and hurriedly deposited his glass on the desk before he spilled the contents all over it.

“A male omega?” He echoed quietly. “Well, now... isn’t that interesting?” Gabriel could have sworn he saw a muscle twitch in Crowley’s cheek. He got the impression a revelation like that had actually stimulated his curiosity more than he was letting on, but it was too late now. He couldn’t take it back and desperately needed Crowley on his side.

“Yes. His condition is no longer a secret, and I want to stop him from being claimed by a certain alpha who seems to have his sights set on him. His name is Dean Winchester.”

“I see.” Crowley began, with as much nonchalance as he was able to fake at such short notice. “So, you think he's at risk of being claimed against his will.”

“Well, that’s the point. I don’t think it would be _against_   his will, per se. He seems to have developed some sort of… I don’t know.” Gabriel batted his hand dramatically while he searched for the right word. It looked like it almost pained him to say it. “ _Attachment_  to him. I don’t really understand why. Castiel has always been absolutely terrified of being raped by an alpha.”

“Why don’t you want him to mate?” Crowley asked. Most omegas wanted to be chosen to breed.

“Let’s just say I have my reasons, but that is no concern of yours. Do you want my money, or don’t you?” Gabriel asked bluntly. He was getting agitated and it would have been a lie to say that Crowley wasn't enjoying every second of watching him squirm. Gabriel already felt horribly guilty for trying to separate Castiel from Dean, especially when it was obvious he had started to invest so many emotions in this man, but it wasn’t enough. He would not see history repeat itself and that was the end of it.

“I completely understand your right to discretion, Gabriel. I'm sure I'll be able to have some of my people watch out for him.” Gabriel’s heart fluttered an unexpected warning in his chest at the cold gleam that seemed to shine out from behind those dark eyes. 

“Make no mistake, though. I don’t want Castiel harmed or frightened in any way. Like I said, he’s very sensitive.” Crowley nodded. 

“Naturally. I'm aware you think I have questionable morals, but I'm not a monster.” He said pointedly. Gabriel thought he stressed that last word with unnecessary force. 

“I wasn’t suggesting…” Gabriel tried, but Crowley quickly interrupted him before he could finish his sentence.

“Consider it done. Come by later and we can talk some more. My card.” Crowley flicked his hand in and out of his breast pocket before Gabriel even remembered blinking and thrust it towards him, his mouth curving up at one side. Just for one passing moment, Gabriel wondered if he had made a terrible mistake. He imagined that was probably the way a snake might smile at you just before it wrapped you in its coils.

Α ✫ Ω


	21. Chapter 21

Dean was still gazing at Castiel with pure devotion, soaking in the warmth of his hand where it rested on his own. Dean was almost certain he heard right, but he had to make sure, so he slipped his other arm around Castiel’s back and pulled him up so he could look into his eyes.  


“You really mean it, Cas?” Dean asked softly. Castiel gave him a shy smile. Dean's mouth suddenly burst into a wide grin of happiness with the realization this beautiful, perfect omega was going to give someone like him a chance to prove he was worthy of his affection. The idea Castiel was seriously considering him as a potential mate forced Dean's heart to swell with hope. “You do know what I’m asking, right?” Dean prompted again. He wanted no more secrets or misunderstandings between them. Dean needed Castiel to know his desire for him wasn't just because he was going to add him to his list of conquests, or chalk him up to experience. He wanted to keep him forever.

“Yes, Dean. I know what you're asking.” Castiel said quietly. His cheeks gently flushed with blood, shining with a rosy glow when a very explicit image suddenly popped into his head. “You want to knot me.” Dean never thought he would hear something like that fall from Castiel’s mouth. It took him a couple of seconds to recover.

“Jeez, Cas.” Dean gasped. It caused his alpha brain to go into default mode, the picture show now playing relentlessly on a loop in the back of his mind threw him completely. He was aching to shove his tongue back into Castiel’s mouth and relieve some of the constrictive pressure that was making him warm and uncomfortable again. “No.” Dean said defensively, but that wasn't really true and he was so done with all the lies. “Well yeah, but shit - not when you say it like that. That’s not really what I meant.” Castiel looked away, and Dean watched the blush spread all the way across his face and right up to the tips of his ears. Dean let out a small laugh when he pulled Castiel close again and rubbed his cheek against the rough stubble lining his jaw. He realized Castiel might have taken that as a rejection. “Hey. God, yes I want to do that. 'Course I do, but I’m not gonna take something like that from you unless you really want to be with me, Cas.” Dean wrapped his fingers possessively around the tops of Castiel’s arms and held him back so he could look right at him when he made his promise. “If I do that.” Dean started slowly, making sure he had Castiel’s full attention. “Then I’ll do it when you agree to let me claim you.”

Castiel tried to stop himself from being pulled in by the depth of those seductive green eyes. A lifetime of daily affirmations he would never let himself be claimed by anyone was still settled deep in his subconscious, and he couldn’t deny he was still very worried about Gabriel. The last thing he wanted to do was to swear a vow to Dean he might not be able to keep. _He_ deserved better than that, too.

“Dean, I don’t know if I'll ever be able to give myself away so completely.” He sighed, and Dean’s mouth dipped down. “But if I do.” Castiel brushed the tips of his fingers against Dean’s cheek. “If I ever decide I want to be mated, I know I would want it to be you.”

“I get it, Cas.” Dean said slowly. “I know I can’t ask you to do something like that without you being completely sure. I’m not just saying it ‘cause I wanna get you on your knees. If I bite you, it’s forever. I can’t take it back.”

“I know that, Dean. I just need some more time.” Dean’s smile soon returned. 

“I think I can live with that. How am I doing so far?”

“I would say you’re doing alright. Probably in the top three.”

“Huh.” Dean's mouth gave a little twitch at one corner. “Better up my game, then.”

Castiel continued to humour him, but there was a profound sadness behind his eyes. He let his hand fall limply into his lap when he looked down again. “But I don’t want you to put your life on hold for me, if that’s something I just don’t have to give.” Castiel admitted honestly, but Dean had already made up his mind and there was nothing anyone could say or do to dissuade him from pursuing Castiel.

“It doesn’t matter how long I gotta wait. This is it for me, Cas. I'll never give up on you, never.” They stared at each other in silence for a while. Dean was tempted to lean in and kiss him again, but Castiel still looked troubled. 

“Dean? Why do you want me to stop taking my suppressants?” He asked unexpectedly. “Sam didn’t think it was a good idea.” 

“Well, he needs to mind his own goddamn business.” Dean frowned. He had no idea why Castiel would discuss such a personal matter with his brother.

“Don’t be mad at him.” Castiel said, trying to defend Sam. He had been so kind to him, and everything he'd done was driven by the selfless pursuit of just wanting to help. “I was the one who brought it up. I just wondered why you asked me.”

“I thought I told you." Dean replied gently. "I don’t want you to think you have to hide anymore. I’m proud of what you are, Cas, and you should be, too. You don’t even know how special you are.” Castiel still looked sad. 

“To you, maybe. Not everyone is quite so understanding, Dean.” He added, with a sigh. Castiel could see Dean was disappointed, but there was only one answer he could give him right now. “I’ll think about it.”

Dean responded with another smile, and pushed himself up from the bed. He aimed his shirt at the wash basket. “I still need to shower. You can come do my back, if you like.” He tried, raising both eyebrows suggestively. It wasn’t really meant as a serious invitation. He knew Castiel was nowhere near ready for so much intimacy. Castiel made no attempt to follow him. 

“Hmm. The last time I was in a shower with you, I was a sobbing mess.” He replied. Dean looked thoughtful when he turned to grab a clean shirt. 

“Maybe we should give you a new memory, then.” Castiel didn't say anything more. He watched Dean walk away, eyes fixed on the contours of his muscular back until he disappeared through the doorway. Dean stripped off quickly and dumped his clothes in a pile outside before leaning over the edge and flicking on the switch. Streams of hot water were soon pouring down and swirling in small circles before running into the drain. He stepped in carefully and rolled his shoulders in an attempt to relax. Dean closed his eyes and let the water trickle over him. He reached blindly for the cleanser and squirted a generous amount into his palm, massaging it into his hair and over his body while he took simple pleasure from the calming flow of warm water. Castiel was still sitting on the edge of Dean’s bed, playing with his hands in agitation. He was torn between staying where he was and letting his curiosity get the better of him and following Dean into the shower. “Last chance, Cas.” He heard Dean shout playfully, over the sound of running water. He left the bathroom door open just enough so his voice would carry, but also made sure he was well hidden from view just in case Castiel really wasn’t ready to see him butt naked. “I’m just about to rinse.” Dean waited a few seconds with his hands still covered in suds, but Castiel didn't reply. Dean hadn’t really expected anything else and he didn’t want to push him, so he altered the power setting and rubbed his hands together under the water to lather up the rest of the foam before smearing it over his face. He turned sharply when he heard a noise that sounded like the door had been pushed open. Dean hurriedly rubbed the soap out of his eyes and blinked a couple of times. A blurry and unexpected image gradually came into view. Castiel was standing nervously in the doorway with his arms wrapped tightly about his body like he was ashamed for Dean to see him like that. He was only wearing a thin pair of shorts to protect his modesty. “Cas.” Dean stammered in surprise. He genuinely hadn’t expected Castiel to take him up on it. He was just messing around, but there was no way he was going to admit that now.

“I decided I would like a new memory, after all.” Castiel whispered hesitantly. He was staring at the floor. Everything about him in that moment was a testament to how uncomfortable he was with suddenly being so exposed and vulnerable. He seemed reluctant to come any closer. Dean reached for a towel to hurriedly wipe the last of the bubbles from his face so he could see him more clearly.

“Come on, then.” Dean encouraged, stretching out a soapy arm. Castiel still couldn’t look at him when he grabbed for Dean’s hand, and felt himself being pulled under the water before he had the chance to change his mind. He closed his eyes completely when he felt Dean slip wet arms around his back. The rivulets ran over his shoulders and warmed his body in the comfort of Dean’s embrace. He opened up his eyes, just before Dean captured Castiel's mouth with a simple press of his lips. The water was running over every curve of his face, and Castiel watched transfixed when it dripped from his eyelashes and the tip of his nose. He forgot himself for a moment, and couldn’t resist the temptation to let his eyes wander down the length of Dean’s body. He inhaled a splintered gasp when his gaze drifted south.

“You alright?” Dean asked. Castiel made a strange sound in the back of his throat when he struggled to catch his breath.

“I didn’t expect you to be... so… er, big.” He forced himself to look away.

“Oh.” Dean said, looking between his legs. “Yeah, sorry. Not much I can do about that... you disappointed?” He asked in alarm, a thread of fear winding its way around all his doubt, and pulling real tight. Castiel had never seen a naked alpha before, and that was just something he hadn't expected. He shook his head, but still couldn’t look Dean in the eye. His arms were still wrapped closely around his own body and now he felt rather insignificant in comparison. He knew he was never meant to be a breeder, but the noticeable size difference between them made Castiel feel even more insecure.

“No. I don’t think that's the word I would use.” He managed at last. Dean let it go and reached behind him for the soap, slowly squeezing some into his hand. He smoothed it gently through the dark strands of Castiel's hair and rubbed it in. Deft fingers lovingly massaged it into Castiel’s scalp before rinsing it off and dabbing at his eyes with the towel to stop them from stinging.

“You smell so good.” Dean said impulsively, like he had suddenly caught a potent scent when he leaned in to run clean water through his hair. Castiel didn't move when Dean dared to open his mouth and push out his tongue to sample the air around his omega's throat. He could sense the intoxicating pheromones leaking through his open pores and filling the small space with something so delicious, Dean found it impossible to ignore.

He gripped Castiel’s shoulders, allowing himself to lick and taste his skin before dragging a rough tongue down the middle of his stomach. Dean dropped to his knees and tilted his head to leave soft, reverent kisses along the prominent curves of Castiel’s hips, tenderly smoothing both hands over his warm body as it trembled under the touch. Dean eased down the band of his shorts, deliberately moving his mouth dangerously close to the dip under his abdomen, then slowly back up to one side. Castiel was watching him with interest, breath starting to come in short gasps when the sensation in his belly began to grow. 

“If I didn’t know any better, I would think you were doing that on purpose.” Castiel said, suddenly inhaling an even sharper breath when he felt the tip of Dean’s searching tongue flick a determined sweep across his stomach. Dean just laughed and continued to tease him. Castiel could feel an overwhelming need to present himself to Dean. It rose up inside him when a wave of persuasive pleasure washed over his senses and made him feel reckless and dangerously close to kicking off his under-shorts and letting Dean just take him. He forced his instincts away, frightened at how much his heart wanted to relent. “Dean, stop... please.” Castiel begged frantically. He tried to pull away. Dean looked up at him and waited.

One more kiss and he would be lost.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Gabriel smiled uneasily when he pocketed the business card Crowley had given him. He agreed to come back later so they could finalize their arrangement. Crowley would no doubt want his fee in advance, so he would have to remember to stop by the bank on his way back to Castiel’s apartment. There was a sudden painful tug at his insides when he thought about going behind Castiel’s back like that, but he had no idea what else to do. Gabriel had already witnessed the pain of someone he loved suffer a lifetime of disrespect and submission because they had only been claimed to use and make babies. He loved Castiel too much to let that happen to him as well. The door barely closed behind him before Crowley was reaching for the phone on his desk. He quickly tapped in the number and waited impatiently for someone to answer. He gave the order without hesitation.

“Follow him. Find out where his brother lives and then go dig up all the dirt you can on this Dean Winchester character. I need him dealt with. I have something very interesting planned for young Castiel, and I don’t want some lust-fuelled ape getting in my way.” Crowley dropped the receiver, cutting off the muffled confirmation on the other end of the line. He smiled and poured out another lavish helping of whisky. Crowley leaned back in his chair, a bloodthirsty smile of self-satisfaction making it clear he would stop at nothing to get what he wanted.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam was already heading towards the dispatch office with his letter of recommendation clutched in his hand when he stopped cold, peering through the moving crowd to make sure he hadn't made a mistake. He watched the man cross the street. Sam was sure that was Castiel’s brother. He only saw him in passing for a few seconds at the apartment, but he was almost certain it was him. He quickly ran over the road and slipped behind him. Sam mirrored his pace while he shadowed him, but soon found it difficult to maintain with the exceptional length of his stride. In less than a minute he was almost on top of him and Sam made the conscious decision to stop him and suggest they go somewhere together to try and make sense of all the mess. The opportunity to try and vouch for Dean and his love for Castiel was too good a chance to pass up.

“Gabriel.” Sam called out insistently. When the man turned, he knew he hadn't been mistaken. Gabriel searched Sam’s face, but he couldn’t place him at all so he waited for him to explain how he knew his name, and why he had apparently been stalking him. 

"Sorry, do I know you?" Gabriel asked. Sam held out his hand before introducing himself. He thought he was probably more likely to get the handshake returned if he held back his name until he managed to secure Gabriel's attention.

“No, not really.” Sam tried cautiously. “I’m a friend of Castiel’s.”

“A friend?” Gabriel asked with a frown. “I didn’t know Castiel had any friends here. What’s your name?” Sam continued to extend his hand in the hope Gabriel would take it before he was forced to reveal that particular piece of information. Sam dropped his arm when it was clear his gesture of friendship wasn't going to be exchanged. “Sam - Sam Winchester.” He admitted, with a sigh.

“Winchester?” Gabriel said coldly. His confusion quickly developed into a glare. Sam nodded.

“Dean’s my brother.” Gabriel stepped away, defensively crossing both arms over his chest. 

“What do you want?” Gabriel demanded.

“I wanted to talk to you about Dean. He really doesn’t have any hidden agenda or ulterior motive for wanting Cas to stay with him.”

“I’m sorry, Sam. I would rather see Castiel left unmated than face a life of being forced into submission and being used by anyone.”

“Dean’s not like that.” Sam said indignantly. “I know my brother, Gabriel, and I swear I’ve never seen him so in love. He would never do anything to hurt Cas. Trust me, I’ve seen them together and sometimes I don’t know how I manage to hold on to my lunch.”

Gabriel hesitated. Sam certainly seemed genuine enough, but his own experience with Dean certainly hadn't helped him warm to the man. There was so much sincerity reflected in Sam’s eyes, Gabriel had a sudden rush of doubt. The implications of admitting he had made a mistake were something he didn’t even want to think about.

None of it really mattered now, anyway. The damage had already been done.

Α ✫ Ω 


	22. Chapter 22

Gabriel seemed painfully keen to move on, but Sam was such an intimidating presence that a simple movement of his hand was enough to keep him fixed there in front of him. His shoulders dropped a little.

“I’m sure you mean well.” Gabriel attempted, as calmly as he could manage when he was being completely overshadowed by someone so huge. “Dean is your brother after all, and I understand you're watching out for him just like I am for mine, but I really don't have the time or the inclination to discuss this with you right now.”

Sam was hoping he might be able to persuade Gabriel to give Dean another chance if he could only get him to listen to what he had to say, but securing his attention was proving more difficult than expected. For all Dean said he didn’t give two shits what Gabriel thought, Sam knew he really would have been much happier to have his consent. He wondered if there was something darker behind Gabriel’s stubborn refusal to even acknowledge Dean as a worthy mate for Castiel. He wanted to help free him from intolerance and appreciate Dean for what he really was. Sam even considered telling Gabriel what they had uncovered about the pair-bonding legend, but that was probably a bit much for an opener.

“Just give me a few minutes, please.” Sam implored him, with those same doleful puppy eyes that had been surprisingly successful on more than one occasion. Gabriel checked his watch and looked Sam up and down like he was trying to assess his chances of being able to get past if he refused.

“Very well.” Gabriel agreed reluctantly. He stretched one arm out in the direction of the nearest coffee bar to suggest Sam lead the way. If he was going to be forced to endure a conversation about Dean Winchester, then he wasn't going to do it in the middle of the sidewalk. He hurried after Sam when he set off up the street at a brutal pace. As soon as they reached the entrance, Sam held the door open and Gabriel dipped his head so he could slip under his arm. “I can only give you a few minutes. I have to get to the bank.” He added, eyes scanning the room for a secluded stall while Sam wandered off to get them a drink. He returned after a few minutes, with a cup in each hand. Sam examined the scribbles. 

“Americano or latte?”

“I don’t care, whichever.” Gabriel replied sharply. Sam put them down on the table and Gabriel simply reached for the nearest one. He curled his fingers round the cup. He realized how that might have come across, and his face softened. Sam hadn't done anything to upset him, but his growing concern for Castiel was causing him to be excessively harsh. “Thank you.”

“No problem, mind if I sit?” Gabriel shook his head. They each took a small sip of coffee and Gabriel glanced at his watch for the second time. Sam broke the silence when he placed his own cup back on the table. “Thanks for at least giving me the opportunity to tell you what’s been going on. I appreciate it.”

“I’m not doing it for you.” Gabriel answered blankly. Sam had to consciously keep his mouth closed to stop himself from responding with an expletive. He blew a stream of air across the surface of his drink to try and release some of his frustration. Gabriel could see Sam didn’t really understand why he was on the receiving end of all the pent-up anger that had accumulated in Gabriel’s system since the moment he first heard the name Dean Winchester. “Sorry, but your brother didn’t exactly endear himself to me earlier and he was far too familiar with Castiel. I don’t like him being pawed at like that.” Gabriel breathed heavily through his nose. The very thought of Dean taking Castiel roughly from behind made him want to be sick.

“As far as I know, he hasn’t laid a hand on him.” Sam replied, quickly rising to Dean’s defense. He tried to push out the memory of them being attached at the mouth and aimlessly wondered how many more times that had happened when he wasn’t chaperoning them. He knew Dean was still fighting all his natural instincts to mate and breed Castiel. Sam was actually quite proud of the fact Dean had managed to resist that inherent need as well as he had. “Like _that_ , I mean.”

“Well he certainly made his claim on him perfectly clear.” Gabriel said, with some distaste. “I’m surprised he didn’t just pee on him.” Sam flinched. 

“But you’re an alpha, aren’t you? You should know better than me how it feels to want to mate. Maybe you and Dean are more alike than you think.”

“I am nothing like him.” Gabriel spat, jerking his head back with revulsion at such an abhorrent suggestion. He was struggling to understand how Sam could possibly make that connection between them. 

“You both want what’s best for Castiel because you care for him. How does that make you any different?” Gabriel opened his mouth to say something else, but he hesitated when he thought about what Sam said. A glimmer of light shone out through the black centres of his golden eyes, and Sam knew he had planted enough doubt to make him at least accept the possibility he may have made a mistake.

“I really don’t think an unmated alpha like your brother would actually be able to 'care' for Castiel.” Gabriel mocked. 

“You’re not so sure anymore though, are you?” Sam noted, watching Gabriel’s expression change from mistrust to concern. He looked very tired.

“Sam.” Gabriel began quietly. “You don’t understand. I… I just want him to be safe - to have a life without fear.” The hard edge to his voice had almost faded completely. Sam thought he might have been very different without the heavy burden he seemingly carried all these years.

“That’s all Dean wants, too.” Sam attempted, smiling gently when he leaned forward to rest a large hand on Gabriel’s arm. He turned to glance over his shoulder like he was looking for someone, before his eyes were drawn back to Sam. Gabriel believed he'd already gone too far to go back now, but he was starting to regret just how much he'd told Crowley. He knew he would have to go back to his office, but the conviction he was doing the right thing was slowly being replaced by uncertainty. It felt like he was being watched. Gabriel seemed to be waging a private war with himself, torn between his head and his heart. 

“No.” He said, after a thoughtful pause. “No, it has to be this way. It’s complicated, Sam. Castiel is just _different_ and he needs someone to watch out for him, and that someone has to be me.” Sam shoved his coffee cup aside and leaned over the table so he could make damn sure Gabriel was prepared to listen to every single word he was about to say. Sam knew he was running out of time. 

“Well - no offense, but you haven’t exactly been there for him until you found out about Dean. My brother has done nothing but care for him and try to keep him safe. He has put _everything_ he has into trying to show Castiel exactly how much he wants to look after him and you just choose not to see it.” Gabriel’s indecision was making Sam all the more determined to try and win him over, his impassioned voice starting to tremble with every sound that passed his lips. He was quite anxious to head back to the apartment. The focus of the conversation had left him surprisingly nervous about leaving Castiel and Dean alone together for too long. The intensity of Dean’s reaction to that omega scent a few nights ago made him wonder just what it would take for his brother to lose it like that again. Sam couldn’t imagine how much regret Dean would have if he let his sexual urges take over. He would never forgive himself if he hurt Castiel. Sam trusted him completely but for that one small treacherous spike of doubt. None of it had been helped by all the things Gabriel said. “I’m not gonna lie.” Sam said suddenly. “We both have our suspicions about Castiel, and I know exactly what you're hinting at. What I don’t understand is why you would send him away when he never really knew why. It tortured him, Gabriel.” Sam added quietly. “He thought you were ashamed of him.” Gabriel couldn’t prevent a choked noise of dismay spreading out into the air between them. Sam saw his face crumple.

“What? God, no. I would never want him to think that.” His eyes sparkled at the corners. Sam knew it was regret. “I guessed he was different as soon as he presented, and my father - ” Gabriel stopped suddenly, turning his face away to stare mindlessly out the window. He struggled to focus on anything he could on the street beyond to distract himself from a painful memory. “I feared for Castiel. People knew about him, and I wanted to protect him. I know in my heart that was the day he started to become so afraid, and I'm truly sorry for that. You don’t know how much I've thought about him over the years.”

Sam nodded sympathetically. Much of what he learned in the past half-hour was helping him to understand why Gabriel had been so desperate to persuade Castiel to go home with him. 

“Do you know what an A-type is?” Sam asked slowly. Gabriel’s eyes shot straight back to him, gripping his coffee cup a little tighter. All the hostility seemed to suddenly fall away from his face. He smiled when he ran his tongue along his bottom lip. 

“Is that what they call it?”

“I guess so. Dean has this old alpha lore book he got when he was young. I always thought they were just a myth, but when I look at Castiel… I can see it, you know?”

“Yes, I know.”

“Dean never mated because he really believed in it. I used to tease him mercilessly about it, but when he met Cas he said he just knew. Knew he was the one.”

“One, what?” Gabriel asked, picking up his coffee and sampling a large mouthful while he waited for Sam to explain.

“Sort of like a true mate, I suppose, but there’s a much deeper connection. It’s not just physical but emotional as well. In the book it hints at the possibility there may even be a spiritual link between what they call these pair-bond couples, but I wouldn’t know about that.”

“Yes, I've heard the term but I can’t pretend to really understand much about it… and Dean really believes this?” Gabriel asked in astonishment. Sam answered him with a simple nod. His lips were pressed tightly together to try and show Gabriel how serious he was. “I thought he just wanted to use Castiel, like he didn’t matter and…”

“That’s not what’s going on here, believe me.” Sam interrupted. “He worships him, Gabriel. If you give Dean a chance to prove he has no other motivation than love, I'm sure he won't disappoint you.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

“Cas, I want you so much.” Dean was looking up, his head leaning against one of Castiel's hands where it was resting on his shoulder. Dean was still on his knees, seemingly unaware of just how desperate he sounded when he came close to trying to express the depth of his feelings for Castiel. There were no words to explain the way his stomach fluttered and his pulse throbbed under his skin whenever he looked into Castiel’s eyes. When Dean held him close, he couldn’t even remember the life that went before, and everything else seemed so unimportant. “But if you really want me to stop, I will.” Dean stood up slowly, shaking the water from his hair while he secured Castiel in his arms and pressed one palm against the dip in his back. Dean could sense him shiver in response, holding his gaze when he hesitantly slipped both hands under the waistband and curved them over the smooth rise of his ass. “ _Do_ you want me to stop?” Castiel just stared right back. Dean took his silence as enough consent to keep caressing him. A lustful smile gradually curved up one side of his face. "You gonna lose the shorts?” Dean asked, blowing a warm breath against Castiel’s cheek when he tugged at the elastic. He let it go with a playful snap, moaning when it smacked against wet skin. Castiel studied Dean’s mouth. His only response was a small shake of his head. He looked so scared, Dean just wanted to circle his arms around him and make all the fear go away. He knew in his heart he really wasn’t ready for more and had to reassure him. Dean leaned in and rubbed his mouth along the line of Castiel’s neck while he continued to stroke him. “Cas, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”

“Dean. I think I want to. I just… ” Castiel still looked so fragile standing in front of Dean with the water running over the pale curves of his body. He couldn't even finish a simple sentence when Dean was holding him so close like that.

“It’s okay, give me your hand.”

“What?”

“Your hand, here.” Dean whispered. He reached up and took hold of Castiel's wrist, gently pushing up the fingers so his palm was flat. He let it rest over his heart. Castiel swallowed loudly, eyes growing wide at the texture of Dean’s damp skin where it shifted under his touch.

“Dean.”

“Shh. Hush, Cas... touch me.” Dean encouraged, stroking his thumb along the side of Castiel’s hand. “I want you to touch me.” Castiel held his breath and let Dean guide his palm across the rough weathered skin that covered his chest, and along the line of light hair that stretched all the way down his stomach. Dean felt some resistance against his hand when Castiel’s fingers traced the strip of darker skin in the centre. He stopped and released his wrist. “Too much?”

“Maybe.” Castiel was trying to keep his voice steady, but he knew Dean could smell his arousal. Dean was still smiling when his eyes trailed over Castiel’s body. He felt a swell of satisfaction when he saw the firm outline of a delicate erection through the soaked material of his shorts. They were clinging to the budding flesh.

“You want me to give that some attention?” Dean murmured between Castiel's lips, when the desire to feel omega skin rub against his own started to smother his senses and make him bold and dangerous. Castiel looked down, but he didn’t reply so Dean took that as a yes, and pushed his hips forward. “God, Cas… you don’t know what you do to me.” Dean purred against damp skin while he dug hard into the responsive flesh beneath his fingertips. “I could stay like this forever.”

Castiel closed his eyes and let Dean move his hips in determined circles, forcefully rubbing their bodies together. He bent his head to suck a mark against his throat and Castiel instinctively tipped his head back and presented the exposed skin where it curved gracefully over his shoulder. Dean could feel the heartbeat pulsing against his tongue as blood coursed through Castiel's body. Dean knew he was close to losing control again. He curled his lip to expose the sharp points of his teeth and grazed them lightly over the pounding vein while Castiel moaned softly at the intensity of the sensation. He tilted his head for another kiss, but as soon as their lips met he heard Dean gasp into his mouth and yank both hands out of his shorts. He lifted one up to examine it. Castiel could see it shimmering in the dim light where the tips of Dean's fingers were coated with translucent oil.

“Oh, God... I’m so sorry.” Castiel cried, holding one hand over his mouth in distress. He had released a thick trail of slick that was pooling at his feet, soon washed away by the small rivers of water that were running down his back. He made a strangled gasp of alarm when he realized his body had reacted so naturally to Dean without him even being in heat. Dean could see he was getting upset, so he reached for the cloth and gave him a small smile. Dean turned Castiel around and bent down to clean the inside of his thighs. He smoothed it down the back of his legs in silence while Castiel closed his eyes at the shameful display, cursing his omega body for betraying him again. His cheeks burned, but Dean was patient and gentle when he dabbed away the last traces of discoloured water.

“Cas, it’s fine - you couldn’t help it.” Dean soothed him, rinsing out the cloth and gesturing for Castiel to grab the towel and hand it over. Dean carefully wrapped it around Castiel’s waist and threaded one edge through the other to secure it around his body. “'Kay, you can lose the shorts now.” Dean smiled. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” He helped Castiel out of the shower and pulled him by the hand to lead him back through to the bedroom so he could dry off and get changed. Dean closed the door behind him. His heart was racing, heavy beads of sweat starting to drip down his back when Dean thought about just how close he came to biting. It was getting much harder to stop himself from sinking his hand between Castiel's legs.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Gabriel left Sam behind at the coffee bar with a ten dollar bill, and the promise he would give some serious thought to everything that was said between them. By the time he reached the corner he had already made up his mind, and he bypassed the bank and headed straight back to Crowley’s office. He looked very surprised to see him back so soon. He opened his mouth to speak, but Gabriel was way ahead of him.

“Fergus, listen. I know what I said earlier, but I think I need some time to reconsider. Some new information has come to light recently and it seems I may have been a little hasty in my judgement of this Dean Winchester.”

“What the hell is wrong with you, Gabriel?" Crowley glared at him. "You come to me for help, and I offer you my services out of the goodness of my heart and now you tell me you need more time?” Gabriel was quite intent on keeping the promise he made to Sam, and just nodded. Crowley didn't even attempt to acknowledge it. Gabriel needed the reassurance he wasn't going to approach Castiel until he was sure Dean was definitely no good.

“You do understand what I'm saying, right? Please don’t do anything until I get back to you. I swear I'll pay you well if I decide to go ahead with it, but just hold off for a while. I want to speak to my brother again.” Gabriel added firmly.

“I think I understand completely.” Crowley forced out, narrowing his eyes at Gabriel’s back when he turned to leave. He managed to keep the fake smile fixed on his face until he was certain Gabriel had gone. The space he left in the doorway was quickly filled by a man in a dark suit. Crowley looked up at him expectantly, leaning back in his chair and crossing both hands over his stomach. “Well? What is it?”

“I have the information you requested, sir.” The man answered, depositing a paper folder on the desk in front of him. “There’s a file a mile long on this Dean Winchester. Seems like he did a stint a while back as a one-man wrecking crew. Trail blazed his way across the mid-west by the looks of it. Assault mostly, one public order violation and… slightly less impressively - he has a few traffic offenses. Minor infringements mainly such as unpaid parking tickets and one gas station jump. I don’t think the authorities have any idea where he is.”

“Excellent." Crowley replied. "I can’t say it was unexpected. An uncoupled alpha with anger management issues... how predictable.” The disinterest was evident in the dull expression he made absolutely no attempt to hide.

“It also appears the man you wanted followed earlier was intercepted by someone. They spent some time in conversation, but we couldn’t get close enough to hear what they were saying. Do you want me to send someone else after him?” 

Crowley shook his head. 

“No. I don't think that will be necessary. It would seem I don’t really need Gabriel after all.”

“Surely it would be useful to have him on side though, sir.”

“It’s of no consequence.” Crowley sighed, waving his assistant away. “Now I know where this lovely young omega is hiding and how I intend to lure him in. I just need to make sure that bloody love-struck idiot he’s got wrapped around his little finger rises to the bait, so I can get him out of the way long enough for me to get to Castiel.” Crowley pushed the file away and picked up the piece of paper with the address of the apartment building scrawled on it. Gabriel left it at their first meeting. He slowly ran his finger along the edges, mouth curving up into a sinister smile. “That precious little thing is going to make me a great deal of money.”

Α ✫ Ω 


	23. Chapter 23

Dean forcefully pushed all the lustful thoughts aside and let Castiel settle on the bed. He turned his back to him, pulling out one of the dresser drawers to retrieve some clean boxers and another shirt. Dean was still stark-bollock naked, so he hurriedly slipped into one pair and Castiel tried very hard not to smile when he unintentionally wiggled his ass to pull them up. The room suddenly felt far too warm again, and the pounding in his veins returned with a vengeance. Dean rubbed his fingers through his hair to try and coax it back into place before passing the other pair to Castiel. He nodded towards the towel, a silent suggestion that maybe it would be much better for both of them if he put them on. Dean dropped them over his hand but Castiel seemed so intent on studying Dean’s chest and shoulders, he made no attempt to take them. Dean gave him a few seconds, gently shaking his head at just how adorable Castiel was like that, and sat down next to him. He carefully eased Castiel back against the pillows.

“Come on, give it.” Dean said, positioning himself between Castiel’s feet, nudging them apart so he had room to move. Dean grabbed back the shorts and helped Castiel to push his legs through the holes. He seemed to be completely helpless while Dean slid them up his thighs. He couldn’t be sure if it was because he was nervous, or because he wanted an excuse for Dean to get close to him again. He was hoping it was the latter. Dean hesitated when his hands brushed against the edge of the towel where it was still draped across his lower body. Castiel watched while Dean slowly pushed the material higher to cover up the bit he was desperate to get his hands on, but he still held back. It never ceased to amaze Castiel how this man who should have embodied everything he had ever once been afraid of had more patience and sensitivity than anyone he'd ever known.

Everything about Dean made him feel so wonderfully safe, like he was the only thing in the world that mattered. Castiel felt his vision start to blur when his emotions struggled to be set free. It definitely wasn't getting any easier to deal with the uncontrollable response his body seemed determined to force on him whenever Dean kissed him. Castiel might not have had any experience with being touched like that, but he knew this was something different. He longed for answers, not sure if Dean would be able or willing to give them to him. Castiel started to dab at what was left of the soapy water and drying slick, so Dean quickly turned his face away. 

“Dean.” Castiel said quietly, twisting his fingers round the edge of the towel. “I don’t really know why this keeps happening to me. I mean, I know what Sam said and everything.” Dean slipped his hands into Castiel’s and pulled them into his lap.

“I’m not really the one to ask about that. Sam seems to have a much better handle on it than me, but you can read my book if you like. Honestly, I only haven’t mentioned it at all because you totally freaked out when you saw those pictures.” Castiel breathed in a deep sigh.

“I know... I'm sorry.”

“Sorry for what? Stop saying that, Cas. You got absolutely nothing to be sorry for… ever.” Dean promised. He curled his thumbs around Castiel’s and squeezed. “I totally understand. Let me tell ya, there was some shit in there that fucked with my head for a while.” He let out a long breath when he thought about what Sam said about Winchester babies and quickly closed his mouth.

“Like what?”

“Nothing, Cas.” Dean said with a soft smile. He patted the back of Castiel’s hands. Dean was struggling to identify the strange warmth that suddenly flooded through him without warning, and reluctantly blinked it away. “Nothing you need to worry about, baby - Cas.” He quickly corrected himself and sat back. Dean didn’t even want to think about the level of psychoanalytical crap Sam would have managed to attach to that. Dean waited hesitantly for some reaction but Castiel still seemed to be completely focused on watching the movement of taut muscles under his skin while Dean stroked him. He reassured him by leaning in and planting a tender kiss in his hair. His pulse hadn’t slowed at all since they left the bathroom and his exposed skin was starting to itch where the perspiration continued to leak out and run down his back. Dean made a weak attempt to try and stop the fire that was burning inside him from rising up and consuming him completely when he watched Castiel pull up the shorts and discard the wet towel. Castiel sucked at the inside of his cheek, looking away when a blush spread across his cheekbones.

“It only seems to happen when I’m with you.” He whispered. Dean grinned through the growing concern Castiel’s physical response to him was becoming unnaturally intense.

“Hey, I can’t help it if I’m irresistible.” Castiel didn’t say anything. He was staring at the sharp curve of Dean’s canines where they were now clearly visible underneath his wide smile. They were hypnotizing. Castiel could almost feel his resolve weaken. He imagined how those little white daggers would feel when they broke the surface of his skin while Dean rutted into him and filled him with a knot. Dean mistakenly took his silence for something else. “I’m just kiddin’. I know you don’t want me to say stuff like that.” Castiel only managed to look away when Dean’s smile faded. His top lip dropped back over his teeth and covered them again.

“Please don’t keep telling me what I want.” Castiel said, sliding his fingers across the back of Dean’s neck and linking them together. “You sound just like Gabriel.”

“Hey, there’s no need for that.” Dean frowned.

“Sorry, but you know what I mean. Everybody seems to think they know what’s best for me, but he doesn’t know what’s in my heart… and neither do you.”

“No I don’t, Cas.” Dean shook his head, but he didn’t pull away. “I don’t, because you haven’t told me.” Castiel gave Dean a gentle tug where his arms were still wrapped around him and pulled him down until they were only inches apart.

“You know what you do to me.”

Dean dropped low until he was almost completely covering Castiel’s body with his own. He teased Castiel’s thighs apart and pressed his hips down to hold his omega fixed beneath him.

“Sometimes I just need to hear it.” His hushed voice spread out between them and Castiel used the hold he had around him to pull himself up. He pressed an affectionate kiss to the corner of Dean’s mouth.

“I do want you, Dean.” Castiel murmured against his lips, wide blue eyes so full of honesty. Dean suddenly pushed his hands roughly under Castiel’s back and dipped his head while a rush of desire ravaged through his body. He dragged him up for a frantic kiss. Dean forced Castiel’s mouth open with determined flicks of his tongue and the desperate moans of longing poured out of him with such intensity, they resonated along the walls of Castiel’s mouth and vibrated into his own. Dean couldn’t stop himself from sliding in and rubbing his full hard length against him when his knees fell open. They were still locked together when Castiel arched his back to meet the thrusts. Castiel’s little omega cock was still swollen with need, and Dean moved his hips up and down against him until he could hardly take a breath from the suffocating power of want that muted all his other senses. Dean caught the hint of a fresh burst of slick that rose up between their bodies and he sucked on Castiel’s tongue, inhaling as much of it as he could through his nose. He recognized it almost immediately as the same delicious smell he had sensed once before. It was potently sweet and so sticky, he could almost taste it.

Dean ran his wet tongue along the seam of Castiel’s lips and thought about how easy it would be to just slip one hand inside his shorts and reach in to feel the sensual glide of thick, warm oil drench his fingertips. Dean pulled back to look down at the image of pure beauty writhing beneath him. Castiel's face was turned to the side, his eyes softly closed in shameless pleasure. He gasped at the sensation of Dean's leaking erection when it pressed into him again. Dean stalled.

There was no way Castiel was ready for Dean to bite him, and he had to be sure. He had already waited a lifetime for him.

“Cas.” Dean mumbled, willing himself to let go. Dean clutched his fingers deep into Castiel’s hair to distract himself and fill his hands with something else. “I don’t know how much longer I’m gonna be able to keep fighting this.” Castiel opened his eyes.

“Then don’t fight it.” He said impulsively. He was now so close, Dean could feel the warm temptation of the inside of his mouth lightly caress the tip of his tongue again. Dean stared back into that deep blue gaze. Just for a moment, he wanted to let himself believe Castiel was giving his consent to let Dean turn him over and sink into him.

“I have to.” He breathed out at last, forcing himself to pull away. He sat back on his heels. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“Dean…”

“No, Cas.” Dean screwed his eyes shut with determination and shot off the bed. He headed straight out without saying another word or even looking back. As soon as he was safely in the bathroom he shut the door with his back and leaned heavily against it, scanning the pools of soapy water and sullied clothes that still littered the floor. His head was swimming and a dull ache was pulsing against his temples from the inside. He fell forward, gripping his hands tightly around the wash basin while he deliberately inhaled heavy breaths through his nose and blew them out through his mouth to try and calm his breathing. He felt a wave of nausea sweep against the insides of his stomach when he drew in the moist air that still filled the room. Dean bent down and picked up the damp shorts and balled them up in his hand. He stared at them for a moment before closing his eyes and lifting them up to his face so he could breathe in the potent scent without the need for Castiel to realize just how close he was to losing it.

He had no idea how long he'd been there, when he heard a tentative tap on the door.

“Dean?”

Dean opened his eyes again, quickly loading everything into the tray at the bottom of the shower and rinsing his hands in a pile of dissolving foam.

“Be out in a minute, Cas.” He called back, forcing his voice to remain steady. He couldn't let Castiel know just how demanding it was for him to keep pushing down all the alpha breeding instincts that had been dormant for so long. It tore relentlessly at his conscience, but he wasn’t lost yet and he was hoping Castiel would be ready to mate with him before that need conquered the desire to protect him. He made sure all the screwed up folds of divine temptation were stashed away safely before he opened the door. Dean passed Castiel outside and dropped down onto the bed, covering his face with both hands. He felt the edge dip down next to him and opened up his fingers. He glanced over to see Castiel just watching him with no idea why all that passion had suddenly come to an end when he had been so close to letting Dean fuck him. Castiel snuggled up against him and Dean screwed his eyes shut again when he slipped his arm around Castiel's back. He pulled him in until he was so close to his body, they seemed to fit perfectly together with no space between them.

“I’m so sorry, Dean. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Hey. You didn’t. It’s just somethin’ I gotta deal with. It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine. It is me, I know it is.” Castiel said. He rested his head on Dean's chest and took the chance to ask him what he really knew about him being different. He could feel Dean’s heartbeat racing against his side. “Do you know what Sam was trying to tell me? I don’t understand what it all means.”

“Not really.” Dean replied carefully. “I know all I need to know.”

“But what am I?” Castiel said quietly, rubbing his face into the space under Dean’s arm where it was wrapped around him. Dean’s heart melted at the sadness in his voice he tried so hard to hide, but he couldn’t keep anything from Dean - not anymore. “I don’t know who I am.” Dean lifted Castiel's arm up and kissed the back of his hand. He kept it pressed against his mouth when he replied. The words vibrated over Castiel's skin and made his whole body tingle.

“It doesn’t matter who you were, Cas. It only matters who you want to be now and I was kinda hoping that it might be with me.”

“Dean.” Castiel replied, without hesitation. “I don’t know how I feel about everything else, but I can’t imagine my life without you in it.” Dean smiled and closed his eyes. He traced his fingers up and down the soft skin of Castiel’s arm while they lay there together until everything else just seemed to fade into insignificance.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Crowley had already set his dreadful plan to capture Castiel in motion by the time Gabriel had even made it out of the building. He picked up the file on Dean Winchester and headed down to the club room hidden away in the basement underneath his office. It was still early, so there were only a few regulars waiting for them to open up and a couple of security staff lost in conversation by the main door. He was surveying his squalid little empire when he heard someone come up behind him.

“Sir, one of the new betas refuses to comply. What do you want me to do with him?” Crowley turned to face him with an enduring sigh.

“I don’t care.” He answered indifferently. “Do what you want, but don’t leave any marks.” He gave a familiar nod to one of his clients sitting by the bar and dipped his hand into his pocket to retrieve his phone. He tapped in a number and moved to one of the darker corners so he wouldn't be disturbed. “It’s me. I need you to do something for me. Meet me at the club in an hour and wear your best suit. I want you to look nice.” The voice on the other end of the line must have questioned the order because Crowley snapped a cold reply. “Because you work for me, and your job is to do what I say. If you really want to know, there’s someone I want you to impress.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam wanted to get back to the apartment as quickly as possible while the disturbing implications of what Gabriel had said kept playing in his head. He had left Castiel and his brother alone for some considerable time. Sam had stuffed his letter into a jacket pocket when he'd crossed the street to reach Gabriel and the dispatch office was only a couple of blocks away, so he made the decision to go there first. He dropped it off quickly and left a message and his number with the woman at the desk, apologizing for being in such a hurry. She had pretty blue eyes and long waves of golden hair that hung about her shoulders and Sam felt something unexpected when she smiled at him. At any other time he would have been happy to stay and chat to her, but there was a developing unease that kept gnawing inside him like a warning he really needed to get back.

By the time Sam reached the apartment he was breathing heavily and kept pulling at his collar to stop it from sticking to the sweat on the back of his neck. He fumbled for the key and pushed the door open while it was still wedged in the lock. Sam immediately pulled a face and clasped his hand over his mouth when he got a lung full of the scent-laden air that practically knocked him back with the force of it.

“What the hell is that smell? Dean?” Sam called out through his fingers, marching across the room with long strides. There was no reply, so he shouted his name even louder. "Dean?" There was a hint of concern overshadowed by the tremble of panic in his voice, but it faded away when Dean suddenly appeared in the bedroom doorway. He had hurriedly pulled on his shirt and slipped on a pair of jeans when he heard Sam’s keys jangling in the lock. “Open a window, man.” Sam protested, but he stopped mid-flow when he saw Dean wasn’t fully dressed. “Where’s Cas? Why is your hair wet?” Dean jerked his head back in surprise at the way those simple questions sounded more like accusations. He wasn’t used to Sam being quite so abrupt and it made him feel cold.

“In the bedroom, and because I had a shower.” Dean answered blankly. Sam’s eyes widened in alarm when he saw Castiel come up behind him, most of his body exposed and still damp.

“No other motivation than love, huh?” Sam muttered to himself, the promise he made to Gabriel prodding mercilessly at subconscious traces of doubt.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Dean asked. Lines of mistrust deepened around his mouth. Castiel certainly didn’t look traumatized.

“Nothing.” Sam said quickly. His shoulders dropped. The momentary relief was soon shattered by the look on Dean’s face.

“What?”

“I said it’s nothing, forget it.” Sam dismissed him, but Dean was now so riled up by those hinted accusations, he wasn't prepared to let it go quite so easily.

“No, come on. Spit it out.” Dean demanded. “Is that what you think of me? I’m not capable of a little self-control.” Sam could clearly see the delicate skin of Castiel’s neck was still untouched, but he was so mad with himself for not giving Dean more credit, everything came out in defensive strikes. He responded before he had enough restraint to stop himself from voicing all the crap he'd kept in for days.

“You mean, like every time we have to move because you can’t control yourself?” Sam prompted bitterly. “Or like the fact I have to spend most of my morning backing you up to convince someone I shouldn’t be scared to leave you two alone in case you rape him?” Dean’s mouth dropped open. He stared back at Sam in disbelief. Castiel drew in a stuttered breath behind him.

“What? Is that really what you think? I’m no better than a fucking animal.” Dean’s eyes flickered with hurt.

“No. No, of course not.” Sam tried, when Dean pushed past him. He was too late. Dean had already stormed out of the apartment and left Castiel standing alone in his boxer shorts with a look of total confusion on his face.

“Shit.” Sam cursed. He kicked at the base of the door where Dean had slammed it. He glanced over at Castiel and tried to force a comforting smile. “Sorry, Cas. You alright?”

“I’m fine. It’s just… I’ve never seen him like that. Why was he so angry?” Castiel asked quietly.

“’Cause I practically accused him of something he hasn’t done. He’s very defensive when it comes to you.” Sam added. He was starting to become concerned about how much Dean was masking the emotions that must have been flooding through him. He knew him, knew the signs. He could see a fire smouldering just under the surface. Sam knew exactly what had caused it. Dean was scared.

Scared he could lose everything he had ever wanted because of what he was. Dean had spent so much of his life looking for Castiel, that all the years of frustration and disappointment had sometimes manifested in violence. Anyone could see how hard he was trying to earn Castiel’s love and Sam hoped he would let Dean claim him before that fire started to rage out of control. He didn’t voice those fears to Castiel. The only thing that came out of his mouth was a whispered confession.

“I spoke to your brother. Get dressed - you and I really need to talk.”

Α ✫ Ω 


	24. Chapter 24

Castiel was blinking mindlessly, watching the door in the hope Dean would come back. He suddenly felt so empty without him by his side and he was starting to become increasingly restless with every second that passed when he didn’t return. 

“Don’t you think we should go after him?” Castiel attempted anxiously. It already felt like a part of him was missing without the warmth of Dean’s skin pressing up against him, or the peaceful comfort of that patient green gaze that always seemed to wash over him like he was something beautiful to be admired. He had no idea why he should even have to ask at all. Sam seemed to be giving the suggestion some consideration, but he didn’t say anything. “Please.” Castiel's tight expression was etched with desperation. He was pulling at the edge of Dean’s shorts. Sam regretted the words as soon as they fell out his mouth. He had shown little concern for how wounded Dean might have been by the cruel things he said, but the conversation with Gabriel had left him with a bitter taste in the back of his throat. He never doubted Dean before, but he knew his attraction to a male omega like Castiel, who was silently crying out to be valued above all else was dangling somewhere on the line between temptation and obsession.

Sam deliberately neglected to mention something else that had really bothered him for a few days. He chose to say nothing to Dean about the details in the act of pair-bonding referenced at the very back of the lore book. Sam was pretty sure Dean hadn’t bothered to read it all himself. It came back to him now in a violent wave of realization when he saw the unusual way Castiel was shifting restlessly in the doorway and chewing on his lip, eyes fixed on the last space where Dean had been standing. Sharing a lifelong bond and making babies was one thing, but now there was a good chance that being pushed into a mating cycle hadn't just stimulated the distribution of vasopressin receptors in Castiel’s body. It also significantly increased his sexual response and there wasn't a damn thing anyone could do about it. If they really were meant to be bonded together then the second Dean had marked Castiel with his scent, he also unwittingly cemented their emotional dependence on each other.

“He’ll be back.” Sam said gently. He was confident Dean wouldn’t be able to stay away from Castiel for very long. The compulsive need to be near him was much more likely to overcome the threat of being forced to endure another bout of his brother’s condescending bullshit.

“Sam? You don’t really think Dean would - ” Castiel couldn’t even bring himself to say the word out loud. Sam frowned for a second before he realized what Castiel was asking. He quickly shook his head.

“God, no. I don’t know why I said that. I know Dean would never hurt you.” His expression soon softened. “I’m sorry, Cas. I didn’t mean to scare you. Just go put some clothes on while I fix us a coffee. I want to tell you what Gabriel said.” Castiel gave him a small smile and retreated to the bedroom. He reappeared almost fully dressed within a couple of minutes. The only signs he and Dean had got up to anything at all were messed up hair and cheeks that were a little more flushed than they should be. His gaze still kept being subconsciously pulled back to the door like he was willing Dean to open it and run back to him. “Cas.” Sam indulged him. “He will be back, okay?” Castiel looked so lost without him. He gave a doubtful nod and walked over to sit on the couch. Sam had set down two cups on the window ledge. He passed one carefully to Castiel after settling himself uncomfortably on the pillows.

“How much longer do you think Dean will be?” Castiel asked, looking over his shoulder again. If Sam hadn’t been so worried about what he was going to say to Dean when he got back, he might have been a bit more considerate with his response.

“I don’t know, never mind about Dean.” Sam answered, picking up his own mug and curling his fingers around the sides to warm them up. He knew his choice of words couldn’t have distressed Castiel more when his expression folded at the very idea his brother was low on Sam’s list of priorities right now. Castiel couldn’t think of anything that was more important than Dean. “I’m not doing very well here, am I?” Sam groaned miserably. Castiel didn’t answer. He seemed to be too intent on examining the dark mysteries of the contents of his coffee cup. Sam could have cursed himself for letting his fractured emotions betray him like that. He had worked so hard to win Castiel’s trust and had shattered it in an instant. It seemed like he was making a determined effort to avoid looking at him at all. “Cas. I _am_ sorry.” Sam said, replacing the cup on the sill and edging towards him. “I’m just worried. I haven’t slept much, and I know Dean's really struggling with all this. We’ve got no money coming in and I want to support you both, I really do, but so much has happened lately. I just let everything get on top of me.” Castiel shrunk back against the edge of the seat, trying hard not to show Sam how disturbed he was at having to witness such an unwarranted verbal assault on a man he had grown to trust implicitly. It left him cold.

“I don’t think I’m the one you should be apologizing to.” Castiel said unsteadily. He had no desire to aggravate Sam and earn his own mouthful of abuse. Sam drew his lips into a straight line, and sighed.

“Yeah, I know.”

Castiel drained his coffee in silence and stared down into the empty cup. He didn’t want to admit he was hurt that Dean still hadn't come back for him. Being pissed with Sam was understandable, but Castiel was just left standing there in another man’s underwear with a pulsing ache between his legs that had been left painfully untouched.

“How long has he been gone?” Castiel asked suddenly. Sam thought at first he was just trying to make conversation, but now he could see Castiel was really jumpy and kept tapping his fingertips against the side of the cup, while his knee bobbed up and down with agitation.

“Two minutes since you last asked.” Sam said patiently, but that didn’t really appease him in the slightest. Sam thought it might be a good time to distract him by telling Castiel about his clandestine meeting with Gabriel. “So, I talked to your brother.” Castiel looked up. Sam had managed to secure his attention at least, but he knew he had to be careful about what he said. “It was more of a chance encounter than anything else, so please don’t think I was interfering. I don’t wanna get my hopes up, but it seems he might be prepared to be a bit more understanding about you and Dean.” Castiel seemed to brighten a bit at that and opened his mouth to respond, but he didn’t even manage to get one word out before he heard the door creak open. He flicked his head round so quickly, he nearly put his neck out. Dean glanced at Sam when he reappeared, but the anger that had been carved into his face when he left seemed to have been replaced with something else. Castiel jumped up and over the back of the couch before Dean was even through the door.

Sam was left in the middle of the room with his mouth open when Castiel rushed over to Dean and almost threw himself on top of him. He pushed up against him and fumbled for his hands. Castiel lifted up one of Dean’s arms and lightly kissed each one of his fingertips in turn before pressing his hand to his mouth. Dean just watched the seductive caress of his lips in silence at such an unexpected display of affection. He had only been gone twenty minutes.

The slow spread of a smile gradually curved up one side of his face, and the way Castiel was looking up at him soon softened the grip around his heart. Dean wrapped his fingers tightly around Castiel’s and held onto one of his hands while his other one slipped down Castiel’s back. He curved it over his ass to tug him in and press their bodies together. Castiel reached up and pulled at his shirt. He was making soft little whimpers of relief when he buried his face in Dean’s shoulder. Dean closed his eyes and breathed in the intoxicating scent of Castiel’s hair while he shamelessly slinked up against him. 

“I take it you missed me, then.” Dean whispered. Castiel didn’t speak but Dean felt him offer a quick nod. Dean saw Sam watching them over Castiel’s shoulder when he opened his eyes. He shyly rubbed one hand over the back of his neck, realizing what that must have looked like. “Cas.” Dean murmured, nudging him gently with his hips as a hint they should maybe pick up where they left off later when they wouldn’t be so easily disturbed. He gave a nod towards his brother and bent his head to put his lips close to Castiel’s ear. “Sam.” Dean said quietly, carefully releasing his hold on him. They reluctantly pulled apart.

He knew Castiel was almost ready to let himself be claimed. Just because Dean made a silent vow to himself to wait a little while longer, he was fairly sure that didn’t mean they couldn’t practice. Dean’s thoughts were constantly filled with the sweet promise of what was waiting for him when Castiel decided to let him into his heart and his body. Sometimes those thoughts were filled with images of loving touches and the soft press of Castiel’s plump lips against his own. Sometimes the darker ones crept in and swamped his senses. A forceful desire to bend him over and haul him up onto his knees to fuck into him so hard he couldn’t even remember his own name. He satisfied that need for now with those pictures in his head, and remained completely oblivious as to the real reason why Castiel had responded so fiercely when he returned. It was merely a confirmation for Sam of everything that had been flitting around in the back of his sleep-deprived mind since he closed the pages of Dean’s book a couple of days before.

Castiel hovered next to him, but Dean refused to sit down while Sam was studying him like he was a caged animal just waiting to strike. He was still really pissed at his brother, and part of him was scared Castiel might actually start to believe it was only a matter of time before he would become that brutal monster who once shaped his dreams and forged his nightmares. Dean kept hesitantly glancing over to him to make sure Castiel still had the same tender expression that usually graced his soft features whenever he looked at his alpha. Dean never felt insecure or anxious about anything in his life until the moment he first laid eyes on that perfect omega he longed to make his own. When he thought about what it would be like if he ever lost him, he wanted to hold him close and never let go. Dean sometimes imagined his heart would just stop beating.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Gabriel made the impulsive decision to go straight from Crowley’s office to search for Castiel. He couldn’t possibly tell him his omega status was no longer a secret and hoped he could get to him before it was too late. He cursed himself a hundred times over when he thought about how rash he'd been in trying to get Crowley to protect Castiel from Dean. The more he thought about it, the more likely it seemed that would probably end up the other way around. The guilt was crushing.

By the time he reached the small apartment building, Gabriel was frantically dredging his thoughts for an opener that wouldn’t sound too much like he had just unintentionally sold out his brother to someone who might harm him. He ran up three flights of stairs without even pausing for breath and when he reached the fourth floor, something told him to try Sam’s room first. If what he shared with him earlier was true, then it was pretty likely Dean and Castiel were still together so he hesitantly tapped on the door and waited. Sam opened it after almost a minute, hazel eyes growing round with surprise when he looked down to see Gabriel standing in front of him. He looked much smaller than he remembered, and almost all of the cruel hostility once lining his face had seamlessly been erased.

“Hello, Sam.” Gabriel stretched out one arm in greeting. Sam was so stunned at the change in him, he shook his hand in silence and let him in. As soon as he stepped into the apartment, Gabriel was met with a cold green glare. He wasn’t sure this was such a good idea after all. Dean was surprisingly intimidating. In other circumstances, Gabriel wouldn't hesitate to back down, but this was about his baby brother and the desire to keep Castiel’s virtue intact for now wasn't something he was prepared to let go so easily. He smiled at Castiel, who was just watching him from a dark corner. Sam gestured for Gabriel to sit before he grabbed hold of Dean’s arm and dragged him through to the kitchen. 

“He’s obviously got something to say so just stay in here, Dean. No more trouble, okay? I’m sorry for what I said, I didn’t mean it.” Dean was still doubtful of exactly why Gabriel seemed so insistent on getting involved, but out of begrudging respect for Castiel and his brother he stayed in the kitchen, propping himself up defensively against the counter. Sam fixed him fast with a warning glance when Castiel appeared by his side. Sam left him to make a drink and returned to the other room. “What is it?” Sam asked, after a tense pause. “What do you want?”

“I need you to tell me more about what you think is really going on here.” Gabriel said, taking the cup from Castiel when he returned. He nodded at him in gratitude. Castiel perched himself unsteadily on the corner of the couch and waited. Sam shoved some of the empty packaging and papers out the way and lifted up his laptop. He located Dean’s book underneath it, and tugged at the bookmark. He flicked it open before handing it to Gabriel. 

“It’s all in here.” Sam mumbled, shoulders dropping in defeat. There was no point in hiding it anymore. “Read it.”

Gabriel took it and quickly scanned a few of the relevant pages. A frown deepened over his normally blank expression. He seemed to be studying the text with keen eyes. He finally closed it and passed it back to Sam with a sigh.

“Castiel? Could you get me some more sugar please?” Gabriel said suddenly. Castiel looked between the two men in surprise at being dismissed so blatantly. He was sure he already emptied at least four heaped spoonfuls into his coffee earlier and Castiel didn’t believe for one minute it could possibly still be undrinkable. He knew a subtle hint when he saw one, so he got up and made his way back to the cupboard. Dean followed him like a puppy he was training to heel. Castiel glanced at Gabriel over his shoulder just to make sure he wasn’t asking Sam anything he didn’t want to answer, but Castiel had fallen out of earshot within a few paces. Gabriel lowered his voice and leaned in even more so he couldn’t be overheard. “What does this _really_  mean, Sam?” Gabriel asked, in a whisper. It was obvious Sam knew much more than he made out, and Gabriel was looking at him so hopefully, he couldn’t help but give in.

“Honestly? I’m worried about them. They seem to be developing a dangerously high dependence on each other.” Sam admitted, surprised at how freely that flowed from his mouth in front of a man he hardly knew, and didn’t trust as far as he could kick him. Gabriel was unnaturally quiet while Sam took a small sip from his coffee. He seemed to slump in his seat, before leaning forward again. Sam thought at first Gabriel was going to spiral into a whirlwind of wrath and tell Castiel he should never speak to Dean Winchester again, but what came out was something different entirely.

“Yes, well I might know a little bit more about that pair-bonding stuff than I let on.” Gabriel said slowly, watching Sam’s eyes widen over the rim of his cup. “Sam.” Gabriel whispered urgently, clicking his fingers in front of his face to make sure he was listening. “I do know some of those ancient legends about true mates. When I found out about the effect your brother was having on Castiel, I did some research of my own.” He admitted. “Part of me wondered why it all seemed to be happening so quickly and of course I knew a little about my brother being different. I just had to be sure. I wasn’t completely convinced, but now I can see there’s a lot more going on here than I thought.” Gabriel looked down into the cup and picked at the froth with his finger. “I had no idea Dean might be the one he's supposed to be with. If that’s true, then I owe you an apology.” He added quietly. It backed up everything Sam had been thinking about when he saw how anxious Castiel was when Dean left him alone. “That was partly why I wanted to take him home. If he never mates, he will always be at risk of being taken and violated by some merciless alpha and if Dean _is_ his true mate…” Gabriel hesitated. “Sam, if they're ever separated, Castiel could get sick without him - maybe even die.”

“Come again?”

“They would be joined forever and that’s just one of the reasons why I never wanted anyone to claim him.” Gabriel sat back when he saw Castiel approaching from the corner of his eye.

“Shit.” Sam breathed out, processing this new information. It was fucked up whichever way you chose to look at it. The only comfort he could take from it was if they did mate, Dean would surely never leave his side and at least Castiel would have a fighting chance at staying safe. They could hardly bear to be parted from one another for more than a few minutes at a time and as far as Sam knew, the closest they ever got to mating was a few stolen kisses in the dark. Gabriel just had enough time before Castiel returned to reach for Sam’s arm. He stared him dead in the eye, trying to keep his whispered voice steady and consciously stop himself from admitting he may have put his brother at more risk than he ever intended. He finally told Sam exactly what it was he had been holding back. It made his heart ache to think about it.

“He’s damned either way.”

Α ✫ Ω 


	25. Chapter 25

Crowley was waiting impatiently outside the basement door less than an hour later. Loitering at the entrance to his more lucrative business. He never used the office upstairs for entertaining clients or meeting with some of his less reputable employees. The underground building offered him a reasonably safe place to take care of some of the betas he plucked from a life of misery on the streets to make him some money. The irony of it all was somehow lost on him that some of them would have been much better off if he had just left well alone. He was lucky enough to find a few female omegas over the years, but the heavy price he was offered for them had been too generous to refuse.

Crowley always managed to absolve any rare bouts of conscience by convincing all those around him he was providing a public service. He had rules of course, and couldn’t afford to let his charges get sick. They were no use to him like that, and he had perfected some unusual methods of gaining their compliance over the years. His thoughts were scattered when he saw a man coming down the stairs above him. Polished shoes heralded his arrival, resounding on every step when he approached.

When he reached the bottom, he stopped. Crowley was watching him. The man spread out his arms while he waited for his approval. Crowley nodded with an unpleasant smile. He had been very specific with his instructions. He looked the man up and down, and seemed content enough. Crowley slung one arm around his shoulder and steered him inside to fill him in on the details. He only had one chance to try and take Castiel. He wanted something new to play with, and had no intention of wasting it.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Gabriel thanked Castiel for the sugar, feeling compelled to put at least one more spoonful in his coffee so he could at least pretend he really needed it. Castiel wasn’t taken in by him at all. He knew his brother just wanted to talk to Sam. Castiel didn’t particularly want to listen to a conversation about him, and certainly didn’t want to have to justify or defend his choice to stay with Dean, so he walked back through to be close to him. Dean wrapped both arms around his waist from behind, and tightened his hold so they fitted together so perfectly, Dean was even more convinced they were meant to be together. He rested his chin on the dip in Castiel’s shoulder, his eyes fixed on Gabriel. They could hear the muffled tones of conversation, but they were just too far away to catch the words clearly and Dean couldn’t care less anyway. He was still trying to work through the unexpected feeling of betrayal that drenched him when he looked over at Gabriel and Sam together. They both seemed to think it was perfectly okay to discuss their future together when they were standing only yards away. Rude. Dean brushed his hand against Castiel’s neck and pushed back his hair where it was tickling his cheek. He leaned in and whispered into his ear.

“You wanna get out of here?” Dean asked, linking both hands back together over Castiel’s stomach. He rocked him gently while he hummed into his hair. He felt Castiel shiver at the touch, turning his head to mumble a confirmation against Dean’s skin. Dean smiled and pulled at his hand. Gabriel glanced over, his mouth suddenly snapping shut when he saw how possessively Dean was holding onto his little brother. He deliberately held back a frown so hard, it made a muscle twitch in his cheek. It took everything he had to pretend he hadn’t noticed. “Me and Cas are gonna go back to his for a bit.” Dean said loudly, tugging at Castiel’s hand to drag him to the door.

“Dean.” Sam said with exasperation. “This is important.” Dean shrugged. 

“Not to me. We’ll leave you two to talk about us in private.” Dean forced a sarcastic smile. He had a valid point and Sam didn’t want to start another fight so he just watched them leave. The second the door was closed behind them, Sam went straight back in to questioning Gabriel. He would deal with Dean later.

“So what _do_ you know?” Sam asked.

“Not as much as you, I don’t think.” Gabriel admitted. “So basically, you’re saying that potentially this bonding thing might lead to Castiel being able to conceive?”

“I think so. There’s some other stuff as well, but that seems to be the thing that really distinguishes them from the others.” Gabriel shook his head. 

“You know, I thought about it sometimes. I know some male omegas are able to do that, but I never really had a word for what Castiel is before I spoke to you. There was just something about the way he looked, you know?” Sam nodded. 

“I never really expected to find one, but I never told Dean that of course. He’s my brother, I didn’t want him to give up hope. It’s all he’s ever wanted.”

“Babies?” Gabriel asked, with a stunned gasp.

“No.” Sam laughed. “A mate. I don’t think _that_ has ever been on his agenda at all.” Gabriel seemed to be thinking seriously about it. At least it meant Castiel was so important to Dean, he would be more likely to be true to him. Despite everything he believed, Gabriel hoped with all his heart Dean really was different. Castiel certainly seemed to want to be with him. “What happened, Gabe?” Sam asked suddenly. “All that time ago?” He didn’t seem to realize what he called him, and Gabriel didn’t mention it. Castiel was the only one who ever called him that and he never told him, but he actually kinda liked it. His mind drifted back to the conversation. 

“My father.” Gabriel answered, with little expression. There was a lot of unspoken pain behind those two simple words. “He’s gone now.” Gabriel added, when he saw a dark shadow cross Sam’s face. They hadn't seen their own father for years. Sam had no idea if he was even still alive. “A few years ago. I would be lying if I said I missed him, he was a ruthless man.” Gabriel said quietly. “None of us were ever good enough, but Castiel seemed to get it worse than the rest. Like my father sensed he was different somehow. I suppose that’s why I always felt responsible for him. I would never want to remind him of that, and I'm asking you to swear not to repeat anything said between us. I don’t want him to have to think about it.”

“Of course.” Sam answered. He sat back and waited for Gabriel to continue.

“Castiel was so young when he went into his first heat. All I can remember is how frightened he was. I wasn’t sure what it was at first, but when I saw the slick, I knew.” Sam was listening intently. A lot of what Gabriel was saying was helping him to understand Castiel. Sam was amazed all he had actually brought out of such a mess were nightmares and some distorted form of cynophobia. “It was raining.” Gabriel mused sadly, thinking back to that terrible night.

“Dean told me he doesn’t like the rain.” Sam murmured absently. Gabriel’s eyes flicked back to him in alarm. He never realized something like that could damage him so profoundly, it would shape his entire life. He longed to make it right.

“Maybe meeting your brother was a good thing after all.” Gabriel smiled.

“Well, whatever he did seems to have had a very positive effect on Cas. He’s much better than he was. I’m just scared his phobias might return without Dean there to hold on to.” 

Gabriel nodded thoughtfully. 

“Like I said, Sam - damned either way.”

“I don’t think Cas would see it like that. I really think they want to be together.”

“Forever is a long time, Sam.” Gabriel said quietly. “Trust me, sometimes a day can feel like a lifetime.” He seemed distracted again. Sam was starting to pick up on little hints. It wasn’t just the worry of Castiel and Dean being mated that was playing on his mind. This was something much more personal.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean gathered Castiel into his arms, rubbing his face tenderly against his cheek. He hadn't forgotten how Castiel practically launched himself against him earlier and it made Dean feel warm and hopeful his feelings were slowly being returned. Castiel inhaled a gasp when he felt the pressure of pointed teeth nip lightly across the tip of his ear. Dean dipped his fingers under the edge of Castiel's jeans and caressed his back, running his tongue all the way down the edge of his ear before dipping it inside. Dean released a low moan of desire. Enough to make Castiel so responsive, his body shuddered with every sweep of Dean's tongue against his skin. Dean reached the lobe and pulled it gently into his mouth. Castiel fell limp in his arms when Dean picked him up, hitching his body higher with his mouth still fixed to Castiel’s neck. Castiel’s head fell back, giving Dean more access to the pulsing vein in his throat, quickly covering it with the wet promise of an open mouth. Dean carried Castiel through to the bedroom and laid him gently on his back. He blindly forced his knees apart with one hand while he suckled at the curve of Castiel’s neck.

“Let me see you, Cas... all of you.” Dean breathed against him, tracing his fingers up and down the inside of Castiel’s thigh. His hands were shaking, unable to control the need that crawled through his veins and made him want to lick that boy all over.

“Dean.” Castiel knew how different he looked. Even though he trusted Dean completely, he still wasn’t sure he was strong enough to expose all his vulnerability like that.

“Cas, it’s okay.” Dean whispered, moving his mouth lower and smoothing his hand over Castiel’s stomach when he pushed up his shirt. He could feel him tense beneath his palm. “Trust me.” Dean slowly ran a trail of soft kisses all the way along his side and curled his tongue in sweeping lines that made Castiel’s body rigid with anticipation. The tip of each searching stroke brushing the soft hair running down under the band of his jeans. “Just relax. I’m gonna take care of you, Cas.” Dean mumbled against the damp skin, forcing his tongue even lower. Castiel’s hips jerked up to meet the seductive thrusts, sensing his resolve fall away when Dean pulled gently at his jeans. They slipped down his legs and over his knees. Dean’s cock was soon swollen with need when he inhaled a mouthful of omega pheromones. He couldn’t stop himself from clambering on top of Castiel and hurriedly relieving him of his t-shirt as well. Castiel closed his eyes and let Dean soak in the sight of his naked body. Dean gasped at the pure beauty of it, spreading his palms over the curves of wide hips and shaking his head in appreciation of the perfection he was holding in trembling hands. “Cas.” Dean breathed at last. Castiel felt a surge of something powerful flood through him when Dean seemed to whisper his name with awe. “You’re so beautiful.” Castiel finally looked up. Dean was propped over the top of him and holding himself up on his hands. He bent his head to press a soft kiss to Castiel’s lips like he meant that with everything he had. “Can I touch all of you?” Dean asked quietly, heart pounding relentlessly fast with the thought Castiel might let Dean show him just how much he admired that perfect omega body. Castiel didn’t answer. He was watching the movement of Dean’s hands while they ran over his chest and down towards his dick. Dean watched Castiel’s eyes flicker under dark lashes. “Let me, Cas.”

A lifetime of being told how little value he possessed left a deep mark. As wonderfully sweet and understanding as Dean was, he was still an alpha and Castiel just assumed Dean could do whatever he wanted to him if they were mated. Dean wanting to spend any time giving Castiel pleasure instead of taking care of his own needs was unexpected, to say the least. He could see Dean was desperate for relief but he still wanted to make sure Castiel was satisfied first. It made him feel wonderful. 

“Dean, you don’t have to do that for me.”

“Hush up. I told you, I don’t ever want you to think like that.”

Castiel was about to protest again, but his words were soon swallowed by the sounds spilling from his mouth when Dean licked a line all the way down his stomach. Castiel thought he was going to stop, but Dean moved between his legs and Castiel bit hard into his lip when Dean pushed one hand all the way up his thighs. He carefully slipped a fingertip inside him. Castiel held his breath. Every muscle tensed while Dean waited over the top of his dick with his mouth open, giving Castiel one last chance to tell him to stop. Dean could see the deep blue shining out, watching him so closely he felt a shiver flow down his spine. He closed his eyes and sank down, sucking at it until his cheeks hollowed out. He pulled noises from Castiel’s lips he didn't think he was capable of making. Dean could feel warm slick slide over his hand while he moved his finger in gentle circles, smearing the oil across his skin. Dean was desperate to push in more, but he didn’t want to hurt him. He wasn’t sure Castiel could take much more. He was almost incoherent under Dean’s careful touches. So perfectly submissive, Dean felt his own dick grow hard at the thought of Castiel coming in his mouth. Dean pinned both of his arms above his head when Castiel pushed his hips up, taking everything Dean had to give. 

Dean continued to draw it inside his mouth while Castiel murmured Dean’s name over and over again. His hips started to stutter. Dean was showering him with gentle encouragements, manipulating his cock with his tongue. Dean gripped Castiel's wrists tight when he felt the first pulse of warmth spill into his mouth and down his throat. He took it all. Dean was glad omega cocks were small when Castiel forced the last burst into his mouth, shuddering with a cry when he came. Castiel pulled free to reach up and twist his fingers into Dean’s hair. He dragged him down for a kiss. He couldn’t find the words to say how amazing that made him feel but Dean didn’t need to hear it. Castiel's blissful expression was enough. Dean pulled him close and wrapped one arm around him, rubbing at his mouth with the back of one hand.

They must have fallen asleep again. It seemed to happen a lot when they were cuddled up together. Dean’s peace was broken by an insistent tapping on the door. He heard Sam shout his name, so he kissed Castiel’s cheek and carefully pulled his arm out in case he disturbed him. Dean smoothed down his clothes and headed out the bedroom. He opened the front door to see Sam standing outside, staring at him suspiciously when he took in the sight. Dean’s hair was a mess, lips full blown and flushed pink. Sam resisted the temptation to tell him he had something on his face. He bit back a smile. 

“I’m heading back into town with Gabe for a bit. I’ll see you later, unless you’re staying here.” Dean suddenly got unnecessarily close. It was almost impossible for Sam to walk away. 

“Why the hell are you even talking to that dipshit? What did he say about Cas?” Dean demanded, absolutely refusing to let Sam move until he answered him.

“Nothing, Dean. We were just talking about his family and stuff. It actually made a lot of sense. I know you don’t like him, but he had his reasons for acting the way he did.”

Dean sensed a lot more information had been exchanged between them than Sam was prepared to admit.

“Dammit, Sam. I know there’s somethin’ you’re not telling me.”

“Yes, Dean - and I’m sure there’s stuff you’re not telling _me_.” Sam added carefully, placing a supportive hand on Dean’s shoulder. He didn’t want them to fight anymore and was really anxious to prove to Dean he could always count on him, whatever happened. Sam forced a smile through the suffocating concern pulling at his heart. “I know there’s more going on between you and Cas than you make out, and I totally understand. I really do think he could be your true mate and I’m happy for you, Dean.” Sam said honestly. “I just hope you know what you’re doing.”

“I do.” Dean answered quickly. The look in his eyes was more than enough to show Sam just how much he meant it. “Cas _is_ mine, Sam. He’s mine, and I’m going to make sure I take real good care of my baby. Nobody's ever going to take him away from me.”

Dean never imagined just how soon that heartfelt promise would come back to haunt him.

Α ✫ Ω 


	26. Chapter 26

Dean watched Sam make a hasty retreat down the corridor. He was going to pick up Gabriel, so they could leave together. Dean couldn’t shake the horrible feeling of unease coiling in the pit of his stomach. He gripped the edge of the doorway to stop himself shouting something he would probably regret. Sam looked back over his shoulder, just once. Dean closed the door and flicked the lock back up so they wouldn’t be disturbed again, just in case he could persuade Castiel to try something else while Dean had caught him in such an unexpectedly responsive mood. He had no idea why Sam and Gabriel would go back into town together. It must be something to do with Castiel, but Dean was too distracted by that cute little omega to give it much thought. He was still glowing inside from what they did earlier. Dean wasn’t complaining, but he wasn't really sure why Cas suddenly decided he wanted to be touched like that. Despite all his efforts to reassure Castiel there was nothing wrong with being a little different, he was still struggling to overcome many years of self-loathing and paralyzing fear. Maybe he was just so desperate for relief from all the seductive touches and tongue-tangling kisses they shared that day, he couldn’t fight it anymore. Castiel was starting to believe he could trust Dean completely to be gentle with his body, and his heart.

Dean walked back through to the bedroom to see Castiel curled up in the same position he left him in earlier. He was still naked, sighing deep satiated breaths into his pillow. Dean leaned up against the door, silently watching Castiel’s chest rise and fall in peaceful slumber. Dean took a precious moment to admire every flawless curve of that pale omega skin. His heart filled with something dangerously consuming. Dean never wanted anything as much as he wanted to keep Castiel. A smile graced his lips when Castiel stirred, reaching out for his alpha in his sleep. His eyes were still closed, but he was pawing aimlessly at the sheet next to him where Dean should have been. His fingers stretched out, but all he could feel was an empty space beside him. His eyes fluttered open. Even in the dim light of the room, Dean could see a wash of perfect blue drowning his senses and pulling him in. There was something so powerfully intoxicating about the way Castiel could manage to say so much without even opening his mouth. Dean was by his side in an instant. They were suddenly reaching desperately for each other. Castiel wrapped himself around Dean and held him close. Dean kissed the top of Castiel’s head and smoothed one hand over his back.

“Alright?” Dean asked quietly, caressing him softly.

“I’m fine.” Castiel answered. Dean couldn’t see his face, but he felt his cheek twitch against his shoulder when he yawned. He closed his eyes again. “Thank you.”

Dean wasn’t sure if the thanks were for the blowjob, or just for asking how he was. Newly acquired insecurities had started to eat away at him every time Dean doubted he was good enough to deserve Castiel’s love. Gabriel’s thoughtless comment questioning his worth had been stuck in the back of his head ever since. Maybe he should put that theory to the test and let Castiel be the one to decide if it was true.

“Cas?” Dean asked hesitantly. “I know I’m not the best with words and stuff, and I don’t exactly wear my heart on my sleeve.” Castiel was waiting for Dean to finish, rapid pulse suddenly thumping against him. He didn’t have to wait very long. “Well I didn’t. Not before I met you, anyway.” Dean laughed nervously, trying to work past the feeling of total helplessness whenever he thought about how seamlessly Castiel had smashed all his carefully crafted defenses into tiny pieces and carved a special place in his heart. It could never be filled without him. “I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me.” Dean tilted Castiel's face up towards him, the words tumbling out before he could put together a more beautiful sentence. Dean had to get out everything he longed to say since the moment they met. It all came rushing out anyway. Even though Dean knew it wasn’t really the way he would have liked to tell Castiel he had fallen in love with him, the truth came from deep inside. Castiel just let Dean’s words flow over him, bathing him in hope and comfort. His eyes started to mist over again, so Dean just held him tighter. “You know, the first time I saw you, I knew you were the one I would want to be with for always.” Dean tapped his fingers against Castiel’s arm. “I know I’m not exactly everything you could hope for in a mate, but I’m willing to give myself to you completely, if you ask for it.”

Castiel could feel Dean take a breath, holding it long after he finished pouring his heart out to the man he wanted to claim forever. Castiel never thought he would want to hear something like that, but it tempted him to abandon everything he once held dear and let Dean just smother him with love. Every natural instinct was pulling at his conscience. Castiel never intended to accept the place society had tried to force on him. He had spent most of his life fighting it, but he needed Dean so much, not even bothering to deny it in his own head anymore. Every time that stupid little voice of reason popped into his thoughts, it just sounded hollow and disingenuous. Castiel had never been touched like that before, and he wanted more.

“I want that Dean... really I do.” Castiel started gently. Dean tensed when he suspected the other half of that sentence began with a ‘but’ and it wasn’t going to be something he wanted to hear. Dean had just bared his soul, but nothing happened. Castiel didn’t seem able to speak at all when Dean was so close and warm.

“Cas, you can say anything to me. I won’t be mad.” Dean’s eyes were open and honest. Castiel knew how much he meant it. 

“I think I’ve just spent so long running and hiding, I don’t know how to do anything else. _Be_ anything else. I don’t really know who I am, or if I can ever be _more_ than I am, if that makes any kind of sense.” He brushed the back of one hand across his shining eyes. “You deserve so much better, Dean. I’m so scared all I'll end up being to you is a terrible disappointment.” Castiel admitted at last. Dean quickly pushed himself up.

“Cas.” Dean stuttered, shuffling up the bed until he was sitting back and resting his ass on his heels. He had no idea Castiel still felt like that. Dean had tried so hard to show him he didn’t have to be afraid anymore. Dean was his protector - the light that would lead him away from the darkness of his most terrifying nightmares and set him free. He couldn’t pretend he didn’t know what it was like to spend your whole life thinking you were worthless. It stared back at him from the mirror every morning. Dean felt his stomach twist in sympathy when he folded his arms around Castiel, hugging him so tightly he could hardly breathe. Dean was covering his face and hair with devoted kisses. “Don’t ever think that. You’re everything to me...” Dean whispered, between the gentle press of his lips against the skin of his perfect mate, making sure he was looking straight into those beautiful eyes. “…and you always will be.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam was a little anxious about leaving Dean alone with Castiel again, but deliberately forced all that treacherous fear from his mind. Sam had to prove to Dean he trusted him to be the man he knew he could be. Sam had no more doubts Dean was completely in love with Castiel, and maybe they all needed to just let nature take its course. Everything Sam once believed about omegas had been shot completely out of the water. An unlikely myth had quickly become a cold reality. Now he knew Castiel had let Dean touch him, Sam didn’t really expect his brother would return to their apartment that night. He wasn’t stupid, and he knew they had been up to something when he knocked on the door. Dean had taken some time to open it and his face was so flushed, Sam couldn’t be sure if his unnatural colour was from embarrassment or exertion. He didn’t even want to think about why there were flecks of drying slick spattered across both of his cheeks. Gabriel was standing in the corridor outside their apartment, waiting patiently for Sam to return. The look on his face suggested he heard every word Dean said.

“Dipshit? Really?” 

“He means well.” Sam attempted a gentle smile. “He’s just scared.” 

“Scared of what?” Sam glanced at Gabriel before he answered. He didn’t want to lie. 

“Losing Cas, I think.” 

Gabriel couldn’t pretend to understand what it was that seemed to pull Castiel and Dean so fatefully together, but he was beginning to trust Sam’s judgement a little more. They headed to the stairs together. Sam was glad of the company, actually quite grateful he had someone to talk to who wasn’t shaped like Dean.

“I suppose I’ve been called worse.” Gabriel conceded gracefully. Sam thought he saw one corner of his mouth twitch.

“He’s just got so defensive lately.” Sam added. “Well, defensive maybe isn’t the right word. I mean he used to be so angry all the time, but now he’s different somehow. Don’t get me wrong, he can still throw a punch I don’t doubt, but Castiel’s changed him.” Sam paused, trying to figure it all out himself. “Like he doesn’t want Cas to see him lose it like that again. He’s so protective of him and just… well, your brother seems to have brought out something so gentle in Dean I’ve never seen before. Never thought I’d see, honestly.” Sam tried to ignore the fact he just let slip Dean had lost control before, and the constant worry of their increasingly violent dependency on each other was becoming suffocating. He couldn’t deny Dean always seemed hopelessly lost when he was with Castiel. Sam saw the looks of longing when he thought Castiel wasn’t watching. Everything Dean wanted was right there, his developing love for someone he never thought he would find reflected in that shy smile and the sweet little kisses he always planted in Castiel's hair when he did something cute. Sam even noticed the way his brother seemed unable to focus on anything at all for more than a few seconds at a time if his omega wasn’t pressed up against him. They both agreed to go together and up their mutual research schedule. Sam could happily have spent all day wandering up and down the aisles of a library lined with rows of priceless books, but he knew if the pair-bond legend really was true, then Castiel and Dean were running out of time. Gabriel’s warning kept scratching at his subconscious like a parasitic infestation that just wouldn’t go away. “They’re good for each other.” Sam concluded, when they reached the exit, hoping he had not misjudged. Gabriel pushed the door open, inhaling when a blast of cold air buffeted his face. He pulled his jacket tight. Gabriel wondered if he should tell Sam about the impending threat of something lurking in the shadows, just waiting for the perfect moment to strike. He decided against it. There was no way he could try and explain what he'd done, and impossible to justify sharing Castiel’s closely guarded secret with a man he hardly knew. He had no idea what the hell he was thinking when he strode into Crowley’s office.

"I hope so, Sam. I really do.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Crowley made his way across the dingy basement with his hired accomplice at his side. His loyalty would only last as long as the paycheck he got every month, but Crowley didn’t seem to care. He could buy a hundred men like him if he wanted. Wade could be just as easily replaced as his designer suit. They gradually threaded a path through to the main display area. Wade followed Crowley over to the bar and took a seat on one of the stools. Crowley waved his hand and someone hurried to set down a half bottle of whisky and two glasses next to his arm. The other man scanned the dark corners of the room. Even for a hardened criminal like himself, the whole place made him very uncomfortable. There were people in some of the larger recesses at the back with their bodies hardly covered at all. Any hint of modesty they may once have possessed, had long since departed. Some of the more seasoned workers called them _the pens_. A tasteless joke when they were crudely handcuffed or tied up with a length of silken rope. Dangling helplessly from strategically placed poles that offered some of the less discerning clients a much better view. Some of them looked barely old enough to be out of high school. Wade tried very hard not to let the distaste show on his face when Crowley passed him a drink. It wasn’t like most of them actually got paid for some of the humiliating crap they were forced to endure. Crowley had them performing for hours at a time, just for a hot meal and a place to lay their weary heads at night. Wade turned his face away from the sickening display. He made a deliberate attempt to focus on the man that took care of his bills.

“So, why do you need me?” He asked. There was a pause that seemed to go on just a little too long.

“Because you have a certain look that I need, Wade.” Crowley replied, taking a large sip of amber nectar. He closed his eyes in subtle pleasure while it slipped down his throat. “You’re kind of big, and you would probably pass for a bit of virile competition in a pinch.” Crowley sniffed, looking Wade up and down to satisfy himself he would be able to get the job done. "Yes. I think you’ll do.” He said, dipping in his pocket to reach for the scrap of paper he dropped in there earlier. He handed it over discreetly. There were a few clients and some of the younger girls Crowley trusted not to try and make a break for it just wandering around. He had no desire for anyone to overhear him discussing his latest business venture with someone who had such a fierce reputation.

“Do for what?” Wade asked, already tired of waiting for Crowley to tell him exactly what he wanted him to do. He opened the folded paper, still examining the address when Crowley leaned in and smiled.

“Bait.”

Α ✫ Ω 


	27. Chapter 27

Wade slowly drew out his wallet and slipped the paper in to keep it safe. It wasn’t his place to question orders, but that was a little vague, even for Crowley. He was going to need a bit more information than that. Wade forced himself to knock back the rest of the whisky so he didn’t offend his boss and slammed the glass down on the counter, body shuddering in response to the sudden rush of alcohol. Crowley turned his head to make sure they weren't being watched. He had no intention of telling anyone exactly why he wanted Castiel so badly. Wade followed him to the office. He was about to get an offer he couldn’t refuse.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Gabriel had already decided he was going to tell Crowley once and for all that he'd changed his mind completely about Dean Winchester. He wanted to forget he had ever been to see him at all. Gabriel would make a generous donation to his company for the inconvenience, and that would be an end to it. He wouldn't be able to rest until he knew that was settled. The look in Crowley’s eyes just before he left the office on that fateful visit, made his skin crawl. There was something dark and sinister hidden there. Now he knew a bit more about what was going on with Castiel, Gabriel no longer had any desire to separate him from Dean. He might not be someone Gabriel would have chosen for his brother, but there was no denying the tender promise of lifelong affection shining out through those green eyes like a beacon whenever Dean looked at him. Gabriel knew Castiel would be lost without him and he couldn’t let his brother suffer like that. It was cruel to force them apart when all they wanted was to be together.

He would go meet up with Sam later at the library to see what they could find out about A-type omegas without the threat of Dean lurking protectively in the background just to make sure they didn’t come up with a theory that would get in the way of his plans to stay close to Castiel until he was ready to let Dean mate him. Gabriel’s hopes were soon dashed when he was left standing alone on the front steps of Crowley’s main office with no chance of getting in to see him. An impersonal voice told him through the intercom Crowley had gone away for a few days and wouldn’t be available for personal appointments for a long time after that. There was no relief. All Gabriel felt was a sense of budding dread and the horrible suspicion that was complete bullshit. He couldn’t really think of any good reason why he would be dismissed so easily when he was welcomed up to his office before. There was no more he could do for now, so he headed off to meet Sam. He was waiting outside the main entrance. Gabriel gave him a friendly wave, and jogged up the steps. He offered Sam a brown paper bag. Sam opened it and took a quick peep inside. Nestled at the bottom was a fresh blueberry muffin and a cup of coffee.

“You remembered. Thanks, Gabe.” Sam smiled at how thoughtful that was, and folded the top back over to save it for later. He hoisted his pack a little higher. Dean’s lore book was wedged inside between Sam’s laptop and some of the coded scribbles he created the night he stayed up with Castiel during his unexpected rush of heat. Sam hadn’t asked for Dean’s permission to borrow it, but he didn’t think he would even notice. His brother had become so oblivious to everything else, Sam wondered how he managed to remember to eat or sleep at all. Memories of that night soon resurfaced when he thought about Dean and Castiel's mutual dependency. Gabriel waved Sam off. There was no need to thank him for a token peace offering. He was the one who needed to make up for all the damage he caused, but Sam didn’t know that yet. Gabriel was hesitant to share until he was sure the potential threat to Castiel’s safety had passed.

“So, what we looking for?” Gabriel asked casually, turning up his collar to stave off the chill.

“Dean asked me the other day how come Cas can sometimes control it, and sometimes he can’t, so I guess we’ll start there. I just presumed it was something to do with the way he’s reacting to Dean. It started when he marked him. What do you think?” Sam asked. He was beginning to respect Gabriel’s opinion on the things he learned since their first meeting. He wasn’t quite as emotionally invested, and Sam was keen to get a different perspective on it all. Gabriel looked surprised anyone even cared what he thought and he certainly wasn’t used to feeling valued. He stopped for a second to give it some consideration.

“I’m not sure.” He said slowly. “What happened?” Sam was playing aimlessly with the paper bag. The contents were distracting and he couldn’t remember the last time he ate a proper meal. 

“I don’t really know. Cas just had this uncontrollable heat that floored him completely and it sent Dean over the edge. He slept it off, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it won’t come back. I haven’t seen him like that since though, and they spend a lot more time together than they did.” Gabriel tried to come up with a reasonable suggestion. 

“Maybe that’s why, then.” He offered uncertainly. “I mean, if this bonding thing pulls them together, then perhaps it was just a natural reaction. If you really believe they’re destined to be mated then it’s possible, I suppose.”

“I’m pretty sure it has something to do with those chemicals.”

“I thought Castiel was on suppressants? I sent them every month. It was all I could do to help him. I didn’t want anyone to know where he was.”

“They never seemed to work on Dean.” Sam said, with a dry smile. Gabriel just responded with a hum. He didn’t really want that image lodged forever in his head. “The suppressants must have masked his scent for everyone else, but for a true mate, then maybe not so much.”

“What did the book say?” Gabriel asked. Sam tapped subconsciously on the side of his bag at the mention of it. 

“Not much more than you already know, to be honest. Obviously, there’s not much science in it. That’s something else I want to look for here.” He added. His eyes drifted up to the entrance before sparing Gabriel a brief glance. “Thanks for offering to help, I appreciate it.” Gabriel nodded, but he didn’t reply until they reached the top of the steps. 

“I want to know as much about it as you. Castiel is my responsibility.”

“I know you feel like that, but I’m sure he doesn’t believe that’s true.”

“What about Dean?”

“I’m just worried, Gabe. I’m trying real hard not to show him, but this is sometimes too much for me. It’s exhausting.” Sam admitted. He felt like he was being pulled in a hundred different directions at once, and it was getting harder to pretend everything was alright. “It’s not just a physical thing anymore. He persuaded Cas to phone in sick for a couple of days, but he’s not going to be able to do that forever. I think Dean is so desperate to keep him close, he’s not thinking clearly.”

“You think he wants to control him, after all?” Gabriel asked in alarm. It wouldn’t have been the first time an alpha had taken away someone’s self-worth and turned them into a malleable submissive.

“No, not control him.” Sam answered, after a thoughtful pause. “Dean’s not like that.” He politely ignored the doubt on Gabriel's face. He didn’t know Dean, not really. Sam had spent his life following his brother around looking for Castiel and trying to keep him out of trouble. Not very successfully on both counts, if he was honest. Sam always managed to find casual work here and there, and he didn’t mind. He knew Dean would find it hard to get decent employment with a record like his. He managed to rack up a long list of misdemeanours over the years, and it was only a matter of time before his past would catch up with him. Sam sighed. “More like he just wants them to be together all the time.”

“It’s dangerous, a love like that.” Gabriel added quietly. Sam got the impression for a second time that a bitter memory and personal scars were making that comment for him. He couldn’t resist the temptation to prod him further.

“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”

“Me?” Gabriel asked suddenly, eyes flicking up. He quickly looked away and shook his head. “No, not me, Sam.” He answered softly, but Sam didn't miss the fact he couldn’t look at him. Sam didn’t push it. He knew the shadow of a painful memory when he saw one and resumed the conversation about Dean to try and distract him.

“They were both lost, I think.” Sam concluded, opening the heavy door and gesturing for Gabriel to go inside. He thought about it some more while they made their way to reception. Maybe that’s just what they needed all this time - each other. Like they were missing the other half of themselves. Castiel’s fear, Dean’s anger. It all seemed to fade away when they met, Sam thought with a smile.

_Coincidence, my ass._

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean helped Castiel get comfortable on the bed after he fetched him a cold can from the kitchen. He complained of feeling thirsty all the time and Dean was worried his heat was coming in again. He didn’t smell any different, but Dean knew dehydration was the first sign before. He pushed away a selfish desire that stirred in the pit of his stomach and made his knot pulse.

Dean was sure Castiel’s body was ready to complete their bonding. It was only the last traces of many years of fear preventing his heart from accepting it as well. Dean was still working through the idea Castiel felt like he didn’t deserve so much affection. He would just have to try harder to win him over, help him understand just how fucking gorgeous he was and how much Dean wanted him. He vowed to give Castiel as long as he needed, but if his constant attention pushed him into heat again, Dean wasn’t certain he would be able to stop his body from responding to that beautiful scent in every single drop of hormone-drenched slick. He deposited the can next to the bed and helped Castiel to sit up. Dean slid one arm around his back and pushed the hair from his face. He flopped onto his back next to Castiel and seemed content just to watch him while he fiddled nervously with the edge of the sheet.

“See something you like?” Castiel asked quietly. Dean’s gaze was penetrating. It felt like his eyes were searching into his very soul. Dean pushed himself up on his elbows and dragged Castiel down on top of him.

“C’mere, Cas. Let me show you exactly what you do to me.” Castiel could feel Dean guide his legs apart until he was straddling him when Dean pulled him into his lap. He felt the hard press of a rapidly growing cock between his thighs, unable to stop himself releasing a soft moan. He closed his eyes and let Dean grab each side of his waist to move his hips slowly backwards and forwards against him. Castiel couldn’t resist the temptation to look down, swallowing loudly when Dean hesitantly pulled his dick out of his shorts. He stroked his fingers along it a couple of times to illustrate the profound effect Castiel had on every part of him. “You can touch it, Cas.” Dean said hopefully. “It won’t bite.”

“No, but you might.”

“Not unless you ask me to.” The thought of being able to claim Castiel forever was making it throb like a bitch. “I promised I wouldn’t do that until you were sure, and I’m not taking it back. I’m never gonna break any promise I make to you.”

“Dean.” Castiel was almost breathless. Dean tugged at Castiel’s hand, encouraging him to curl it around his dick. He could see the pounding of Dean’s heartbeat shiver along the shaft in response. Castiel jumped when it gave a determined twitch and Dean just laughed, completely smothering his omega with both arms. He rolled him over onto his back and pinned him down, bending his head to kiss him again.

“God, I want to knot you.” Dean desperately rutted against him.

“Soon.” Castiel promised. The delicious glide of Dean’s erection against his own was like a silent promise of unexplored pleasure. Castiel knew what he wanted now and he was so close to letting Dean take him, it hurt. “I want to, but I’m still scared... and not just because of _that_.” He smiled when he gave a quick nod between Dean’s legs.

“I promise I’ll be gentle, baby. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.” Castiel was about to reply when they heard yet another decisive tap on the front door. Dean groaned in annoyance at the dismal timing. “Oh, _come on_.” Castiel clambered out from underneath him, but Dean made a quick grab for his wrist. “Leave it, come back to bed.”

“I can’t, Dean. It might be Sam.” Castiel laughed and wriggled free, ignoring the sullen pout. “Or Gabriel. I’ll be right back.”

Dean heard the door click open, muffled voices drifting through the apartment. He knew instinctively it was unfamiliar and Castiel was taking too long, so he rolled off the bed and just caught the last sentence. He felt sick, blood rushing to his head. Testosterone kicked in as soon as he heard a few mumbled words.

“Well thanks anyway, hope to see you again sometime. Maybe I could take you out for a drink?”

Dean came up behind him like a bullet, seething with rage that _his_ omega had just been propositioned right in front of him. He put his arm across Castiel’s chest. 

“Hey!” Dean growled, baring his teeth and forcing his body between them. He curled his hand into a fist, fingers twitching. “Back off, pal. He’s mine.”

“Lucky you.” The man replied suggestively, eyes running down the length of Castiel’s body in appreciation. He gave Castiel a seductive smile before moving away. Dean glared at him. He had _not_  fucking said that out loud. 

“Come on, Cas.” Dean said, easing him back so he could close the door. Castiel didn’t even attempt to go back inside. Dean could see he was trembling. Every alpha instinct was crawling underneath Dean’s skin with the burning need to show this potential rival exactly what he was prepared to do to protect his mate. He wanted to tear him a new one, but he was desperate to show Castiel he could be better than that. Dean drew in some air, trying to steady his breathing and stop himself from putting those perfectly formed canines to good use.

The man looked Dean up and down before walking back down the corridor. Hormones pulsed through Castiel's blood at how quickly Dean had displayed his possessive claim on him.

“We were just talking.” 

Dean growled low in his throat. 

“He wasn’t talking, Cas. He was staring at your ass.”

“He was only asking for directions. I don’t even think he lives here.” 

Dean could hardly breathe through the tightness in his chest. 

“Why the fuck is he knocking on people’s doors, then?” Dean snapped, watching him leave to make sure he was gone. A cold warning chilled his blood, wondering if his choice of apartment really had been a random chance. He didn’t say anything to Castiel. He looked shaken enough as it was.

“Dean.” Castiel calmed him, gently touching his arm.

“Yeah, well.” Dean grunted. “If he looks at you like that again, he’ll be lucky if he holds on to his front teeth.”

Dean’s menacing stare was still fixed hard on the man’s back while he walked away. Uncontrollable emotions were causing his adrenaline soaked blood to pump around his body at an alarming rate. A flood of burning jealousy made him reach for Castiel, possessively slipping one arm around his waist to pin him close to his side. Castiel was looking up at him, trying to figure out how that could be so sweet and so terrifying at the same time. He knew he would never have anything to fear while he had Dean to watch over him. He could feel the warmth of Dean’s body against him. 

“Dean.” Castiel tried again. “As if I would ever look at anyone else, when I have all I want right here.” He leaned in to rest his head on Dean’s chest. Those words seemed to pull Dean back, and he blinked a couple of times as the anger began to subside. Dean brushed his lips against Castiel’s throat. 

“Sorry. I’m sorry, Cas. Are you alright?” Castiel nodded, melting into Dean’s inflexible embrace. 

“Yes, Dean. I’ll be fine. Are _you_ alright?” 

“Yeah, 'course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you’re crushing me.” Castiel smiled again, reaching up to run his fingers along Dean’s lips. They were still wet and shining where the saliva had pooled in his mouth. He had been ready to defend Castiel - with violence if necessary. Dean whispered a mumbled apology and coaxed him back inside.

Wade was still standing at the end of the hallway, secretly watching the exchange between them with interest. He had tested Dean, and his predictably impulsive response had just given him all the information he needed to report back to Crowley.

Α ✫ Ω 


	28. Chapter 28

Sam left Gabriel signing up at reception while he settled at one of the tables and deposited the little paper bag in front of him. He slipped his backpack from his shoulder and set it on the floor, carefully reaching in to pull out his laptop. He smiled at Gabriel when he saw him approaching. Gabriel quickly sat down opposite and pushed the bag towards him with one finger.

“Eat up. You must be hungry.” Gabriel didn’t think he'd ever met anyone quite as large as Sam before. He was a bit of an anomaly, inordinate size concealing a subtle gentleness and intelligence that constantly moved under the surface. If they had met in different circumstances, Gabriel imagined they might have become good friends. Sam eagerly pulled the top apart and started to demolish the muffin, humming in approval. He handed the wad of scribbled notes to Gabriel. “You want me to look for anything in particular?” Gabriel asked, studying the papers with a frown. He had no idea where to start, and Sam had obviously jotted down the notes in his own unique style of shorthand. So unique in fact, that most of it was completely illegible to anyone else. Sam answered around a mouthful of crumbs, so the words just sounded distorted and indistinct. Gabriel smiled back at him.

“Yeah… can you look for that?” Sam asked. He swallowed the chewed up mess and jabbed a sticky finger on a very long word he had underlined in red. Gabriel read it slowly and stood up, eyes scanning the printed codes and signs over the many rows of bookcases for something that might be slightly relevant. He seemed to have spotted what he was looking for and wandered off down one of the aisles with his hands stuck deep in his pockets. Sam swallowed the last bite and set to work.

Time passed surprisingly fast while they worked closely together. Sam was much more animated than he had been for some time. Admitting to Gabriel he was emotionally exhausted and physically drained from everything that happened since his unexpected arrival felt like a weight had been lifted. Sam kept all his worries from Dean for obvious reasons, and it was a relief to be able to off-load some of that pent up frustration he had masked for days.

“Well.” Gabriel said, after almost an hour of intensive research. He was playing with the cover on one of the numerous books that now littered the table. Sam looked up expectantly from his laptop, but Gabriel was too intent on adding to Sam’s hurriedly constructed notes, he didn’t even notice he was being watched. Sam coughed. 

“Find something?” He prompted, after a long pause. “Gabe?”

“Sorry.” Gabriel muttered. “Yes, I think so. Here.” He turned the book round so it was facing Sam and sat back, waiting while he scanned the text in silence. “I can’t believe how far back some of this stuff goes.” Gabriel added. “How come nobody really knows much about them? About omegas like Castiel, I mean.” Sam quickly read the last few lines of a fading page. He shook his head. 

“I really couldn’t say. I suppose because they are so rare. That’s got to be important.”

“I guess so.” Gabriel replied hesitantly. A dreadful thought suddenly came to him. “But if that’s true, how will we know how to help him?” His face was lined with many years of concern for the little brother he had almost given up hope of ever seeing again.

“Instinct.” Sam replied with a smile.

“I might laugh at the irony of that if any of this was even vaguely funny.” Gabriel pulled a face. Sam moved round the table and put the book between them so they could read it together. He was leaning over Gabriel's shoulder, turning the page with a thoughtful hum. Sam was becoming more and more concerned about the way Dean and Castiel seemed to feed off each other’s insecurities and the desperate need they both had to be accepted and loved. It was clearer with every new piece of information they gathered, that Castiel’s many anxieties would likely return if Dean was ever taken from him. Gabriel dropped his face into his hands. “You know, I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this, but it looks like the only way to stop all this is for Dean to knot him.”

Sam licked his lips, remembering the words Gabriel once said to him.

_Damned either way._

Being damned _with_  Dean, was probably a lot better for Castiel than being damned without him.

“I already guessed as much.” Sam said quietly. Gabriel looked completely spent. “You don’t have to stay, Gabe.” Sam offered kindly, reaching over his shoulder to give the back of Gabriel’s hand a gentle pat.

“It’s fine. I want to help.” 

Sam muttered his thanks. 

“According to this, it looks like Cas could go into heat at any time. It seems there are certain triggers, such as aggression or dominance displays and…er…” Sam paused, trying to think of a way of finishing the sentence without making Gabriel want to heave. “… sexual arousal.” 

He groaned anyway. 

“Sam.” Gabriel hated the thought of Castiel getting turned on by anything at all, let alone a sexually frustrated, and no doubt well-endowed, alpha who was desperate to fill him with a dripping knot. 

“I thought once before Dean must have pushed him into it somehow. Not intentionally, of course.” Sam added quickly. “The chemical structure of those hormones I told you about is almost identical to oxytocin - oh… you’ve heard of that, then.” Sam saw the look on Gabriel’s face. He knew exactly where that particular conversation was headed and he wasn’t sure he could deal with it right now. Sam basically just informed him that every drop of explosive chemical rocketing through Castiel’s bloodstream whenever he was with Dean was intended purely to ensure successful breeding. He closed the book.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean was still really pissed off by the outrageous concept anyone else would even dare to cast their eyes over Castiel. He checked up and down the corridor a few more times before slamming the door. He marched over to the window and pulled up the blind with so much force, he almost yanked it off the wall. Dean watched the street below, waiting impatiently for the unwelcome stranger to appear on the pavement. Castiel wondered if Dean was going to drop something on him.

“Dean.” Castiel said gently, walking up behind him and tugging at the back of his jeans. “Come on, let’s get out of here for a bit. It feels like we’ve been holed up inside for days, and you look like you could do with some air.” Dean’s eyes briefly flicked back to the bedroom in a hopeful attempt to draw Castiel back to bed, but the moment was lost with the inexcusable arrival of the rival alpha Dean wanted to pulverize. He hoped for his sake he would never see him again.

“Alright.” Dean agreed reluctantly, when Castiel slipped his arms round his neck. His icy disposition soon melted when he found himself pressed up against Castiel, trying hard to forget about the intrusion when he pulled him closer. He gave his ass a quick squeeze and kissed him on the cheek. Dean realized Castiel’s skin had suddenly become warm and clammy again. Maybe his display of alpha male aggression had stirred something he didn't intend.

“You okay?” Dean asked quietly, cocking his head to one side. Castiel’s face was tinted with a soft rosy glow, his eyes sparkling with a brightness Dean had only ever seen on him once before. 

“I think so.” Castiel laughed, letting Dean caress his butt. It made his whole body tremble. “Why?”

“Nothing, Cas. It’s nothing.” Dean shook it off. “You’re probably right. We could both do with some fresh air. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go. Let me just run home and get changed, if you’re sure you’re not gonna let me drag you back in there.” Castiel glanced into the bedroom at the mass of crumpled linen. He gave Dean a shy smile.

“Maybe later.” He whispered. Dean pulled their hips together, pressing them close with an unexpected jerk. “Why is it so hot in here?” Castiel gasped suddenly, pulling at his clothes and blowing the hair back from his face. Dean just hugged him tighter, nostrils forced wide with a rush of potent air. Dean didn’t really want Castiel to go outside when he smelled like that, but he had no right to start making decisions for him. That would mean he was no better than all the rest, and Dean was trying so hard to show just how much he wanted to overcome those natural instincts to claim and dominate. He actually thought he was doing pretty well so far. Castiel always seemed content to let him wrap both arms around him. 

It was a really bad idea to go wandering around the streets stinking of sex pheromones and advertising he was still unmated, but Castiel had been so desperate to please Dean, he secretly stopped taking his suppressants. Dean never really gave him a reason why he asked, and Castiel could only assume completing their bonding was his primary motivation. He knew Dean was anxious to claim him, and Castiel would be much more responsive if sudden withdrawal encouraged all those unsatisfied omega hormones to rage free. The storm of powerful chemicals inside his body could only help to make Castiel more ready for Dean to mate him.

“Let’s go somewhere quiet, though.” Castiel suggested. He was a little reluctant to go outside again, but he put it down to residual shadows of fear that once plagued him so uncontrollably. He had come so far since their first meeting, it would be a shame to undo all the good done by Dean’s unwavering protection. They had both become so dependent on each other in a comforting shelter of their own making, it was starting to become dangerous. It kept them both safely locked so far away from everything and everyone else, they almost forgot there was another world outside the four walls of their little haven. Castiel was scared it would become too easy to just stay there forever, and that kind of peace could never last. 

“You sure you’re okay?” Dean asked again, continuing to stroke him. He knew Castiel would just say ‘Yes, Dean’ in that calm and patient voice he always seemed to reserve only for him. It didn’t really matter what he said. Dean instinctively knew something wasn’t right. He couldn’t understand why Castiel wouldn’t just tell him what it was, but all he got in answer was another smile.

Dean returned in fresh clothes less than ten minutes later, so they locked up and made their way down to the bar on the corner. It was still early so the place was almost completely empty when they walked in. Dean felt strangely uncomfortable when he settled at the counter and waited to be served. It seemed like his skin was prickling with a fateful warning that made the hackles on the back of his neck stand up like a cornered dog. It felt like he was being watched. Dean petted fondly at Castiel’s hands as they sat together and whispered many tender promises to each other while the minutes slipped away. Castiel was still on edge, every so often leaning into Dean for reassurance. After a couple of beers, Dean decided he needed to flush them out.

“Nature calls, Cas. Back in a minute.”

Castiel sipped mindlessly at his drink while he waited for Dean to return. He had no idea they'd been followed until he felt someone blow a warm stream of air across the back of his neck. He froze in fear. Without his pills he was practically an open invitation. He cursed the stupid decision in his head and willed Dean to come back. Castiel slowly turned his head, only to see the man he left standing alone in the corridor earlier. He was disturbingly close, and panic surged through his body when Wade leaned in to reach up and play with the ends of Castiel’s hair. He was an intimidating presence to an unmated omega. A unique combination of persuasive pheromones were shimmering just under Castiel's skin. To someone like that he was no more than an easy, slick hole that ached to be stuffed full of alpha cock. He suddenly felt pathetically weak again, hating his own body for betraying him so cruelly. All the fear and loathing came flooding back like a tidal wave.

Castiel's distress was close to critical by the time he saw Dean come back out. Castiel knew they needed to get out of there before Dean realized what was going on, but it was too late. Dean soon noticed he was being pawed at by the same man who had been outside his apartment earlier. Wade still had his fingers twisted in a few strands of hair at the base of Castiel’s neck. He was too terrified to pull free. Dean could feel blinding rage building when he watched Castiel’s happiness fall away. All that was left was a shadow of fearful hesitation. Just like when they first met. How someone like that could so thoughtlessly damage all the good he'd done, sent him over the edge of self-control and Dean lost it.

“Get away from him.” Dean commanded, pushing his body between the two men. Castiel flinched at the warning in Dean’s voice. He gently rested one hand against his back to try and calm him, quickly jerking back when it seemed to have no effect at all. “Did you hear me, you fuck?” Dean yelled, aggressively shoving his hand into Wade’s chest and knocking all the air out of him. Castiel could see Dean’s fingers twitch. He knew what that meant, and reached for Dean’s arm to hold him back. He just shrugged him off, blood pulsing with challenged alpha hormones. Dean readied himself to fight for Castiel with everything he had.

“Dean.” Castiel begged. He could see the beads of testosterone-filled sweat seeping from Dean’s pores and his chest was heaving. Castiel knew all that barely restrained anger was on the edge of bursting free. There was a feral look in those glazed green eyes. Castiel’s heart almost stuttered to a stop in alarm. Dean didn't even seem to realize he was still there. His top lip curled back over pointed teeth. He lunged at Wade full force, fists ready to strike.

Dean might have had the advantage if he hadn't let his emotions for Castiel rule him so completely, but Wade had seen it coming and he was strong. He grabbed Dean by the shoulders and threw him against the edge of the bar. Dean was on his feet again before his rival even had time to catch his breath, and they tore and scratched at each other with a ferocity Castiel couldn’t bear to watch. He was calling Dean’s name over and over. He tried to reach for him, but someone pulled him back and out of harm's way while the two grappling alphas struggled to gain dominance.

 _Teeth and claws and pain._ The familiar affirmation looped inside Castiel’s head without mercy. Everything that once filled his nightmares was right there in front of him. It was all he could do to stop himself from running away, but Dean needed him. In the middle of all the destruction someone had been quick to call 911. Within a few minutes several police officers charged in. One of them knocked Dean to the ground with a well-aimed shoulder hit. He quickly pushed himself up and tried to make his way past. His only thought was to get to Castiel, but he was no match for so many. Dean had used up the last of his energy just trying to protect his baby.

“Dean!” Castiel called frantically, over the terrible commotion all around them. It made him feel sick to his stomach when all he could do was watch helplessly as Dean was pulled away from him and wrestled to the floor. Castiel could feel someone thread their arms through his to hold him back. Dean made a futile attempt to struggle free of the biting shackles now holding his wrists bound behind his back. His face was turned to the side, cheek pressed mercilessly against the cold ground. He was still writhing against the cuffs and spitting curses at anyone who was keeping him separated from Castiel. Once they were certain he was secure, it took several of them to get him up and force him towards the door. Dean kicked out at them in frustration. His eyes were fixed on Castiel over his shoulder while he was dragged away and bundled roughly into the back of the waiting patrol car.

Castiel saw Dean press his face against the window. His mouth was moving in frantic shapes around the desperate promises he longed for Castiel to hear. His words were lost in the haze of noise that pounded in Castiel's head until it drowned out everything else. He would never forget the look of blind panic in Dean’s eyes when they prepared to drive away. The fierce gaze shone out through the dim confines of his prison and pierced the very centre of Castiel’s heart.

He fought back the tears of anger and desolation as he watched the blue lights fade into the distance. It felt like all his breath had been ripped from his body. Everything returned to fear and darkness without Dean by his side.

He was alone again.

Α ✫ Ω 


	29. Chapter 29

Castiel couldn't even estimate how long he just stood there in the middle of the bar, surrounded by devastation. Broken glass and splintered wood were scattered across the floor. All he could see in his head was the look in Dean’s eyes when he was pulled away from him. Traces of fallen tears were still drying on his cheeks while he stared blankly out the window.

“Sir?” Castiel heard a voice by his side, and felt the weight of someone’s hand on his shoulder. He blinked when the voice came again. It was closer this time. “Sir, I’m sorry but I’m going to need to ask you a few questions, okay?” Castiel finally looked up to see a uniformed officer standing next to him. He rubbed one hand across his face.

“I don’t really know what happened.” Castiel murmured, through another wave of nausea. He'd never seen Dean so violent and unpredictable, and wasn’t sure what scared him more. The fear of being targeted by another alpha, or watching Dean submit to wild natural instinct and fight a potential threat like a territorial dog. Castiel swallowed down the sick feeling of uncertainty and wrapped his arms around his body. A nervous gesture that had left him since Dean stayed close by his side. He just wanted everyone to leave him alone. Castiel missed Dean from the moment he was taken and didn’t think a need like that would ever go away while they weren’t together. “He was just protecting me.” Castiel added in a whisper. His eyes drifted over to the man who forced such a savage reaction from Dean. The other alpha was also in handcuffs. He had apparently been detained for questioning, but witnesses all confirmed it was Dean who launched the seemingly unprovoked attack. He was the one they considered dangerous, pleased he was carted away before he caused any more damage. Now resisting arrest had been added to the list as well. Castiel wanted so badly to tell them how gentle he really was, how it was all just a terrible mistake. The officer seemed to make the relevant connections in his head. 

“Oh right, are you mated to him?” Castiel was tempted to lie, but he just couldn’t find the courage to do it. 

“No.” He admitted quietly. It surprised him how much he wanted to say yes, instead. It would have been some defense at least. “Not yet.” It wasn't the answer the officer wanted, and it certainly didn't give Dean a reason for randomly attacking people he didn’t even know. “Can I see him?” Castiel asked suddenly. "Please." He just wanted to feel Dean’s hand in his own, even if there were bars between them. The cop shook his head.

“I doubt it - not until he’s been processed at least. You can come down the precinct later, but I would give it a couple of hours.” 

Castiel sighed, and felt his shoulders drop. His attention was pulled to something going on behind him. He could see one of the other police officers had been handed Wade’s cell phone. He was obviously involved in a heated conversation with someone on the other end of the line. The officer looked visibly shaken by whatever was being said and just handed it back to the mysterious alpha in silence. Castiel knew there was definitely something else going on here. He could still hear snatches of muffled conversation behind him. Most of it just washed over him until he heard a fateful question rise above the click of handcuffs being unfastened.

“Do you want to press charges?”

Castiel looked back again to see the other man had now been released from his bonds. Wade was staring at Castiel, rubbing his wrists where the metal had irritated his skin. He pretended to give the matter some thought. 

“I don’t know… do I?” He asked slowly. Castiel felt cold at his voice. Wade knew what he had to do, and beckoned Castiel over with a wave. Castiel didn’t even want to be in the same room as this man, let alone talk to him. Wade must have anticipated it. He tried to smile when he moved in.

“What do you want?” Castiel asked, realizing this man had no intention of letting him go so easily. He knew he would have to stay until he satisfied the police with a statement. He was trapped.

“There’s someone who would really like to meet you, Castiel.” Wade whispered quietly, careful they couldn't be overheard. Castiel didn’t even have the presence of mind to ask how the man could possibly know his name, but had no desire to talk to someone who apparently saw no wrong in playing with another man’s hair. There was something very suspicious about the way he seemed to stay remarkably calm throughout the whole unfortunate incident.

“I don’t care.” Castiel answered. “I just want to get this over with so I can go to Dean.” Wade pretended to be understanding.

“I’m sure, though I imagine your friend might be busy for some time.” Wade added. He pushed his shirt sleeves back down over the fading marks, trying to think of the best way to approach Castiel to draw him in completely. Crowley warned him not to come back empty-handed and he wasn't a man Wade was prepared to disobey. He decided to throw Castiel a line he would be unable to ignore. “Record like that, he’ll be lucky to get out at all.” Castiel could feel his stomach turn. 

“What?”

“Oh God, I’m so sorry.” Wade replied dramatically, giving Castiel a sympathetic smile. “You don’t know. I shouldn’t have said anything. You two looked like you were so close. I just presumed he would have told you.” Castiel gasped in shallow breaths while everything pressed in around him. He wanted to run into the street for air. It must have been a mistake. He was wrong - Dean was a beautiful soul. Castiel absolutely refused to accept he was capable of anything but love and tenderness. “I know all about your Dean Winchester.” Wade hinted. Now there was no doubt. The man hadn't been mistaken. “I only wanted to talk to you.” He lied, through a fake smile. “I had no idea your... ” He waved one hand dismissively. “Boyfriend, or mate, or whatever he is, would be unable to control the most basic of human emotions.” His arrogant put-downs were insulting. As frightened as he was, Castiel still found enough passion to defend him. Dean keeping things from him made Castiel feel sad but nothing could change the way he felt about him.

“I don’t care what he’s done, I trust him.” Castiel tried to hold the other man's gaze, but it was proving increasingly difficult when he thought about why Dean was so upset in the first place. “You touched me.” Wade leaned in so close, Castiel could hear him breathing. It made him feel sick.

“I don’t think that gives anyone the right to try and beat the shit out of me.” He argued. “Anyway, the man I work for was very keen for you to accompany me back to a little place he owns in the city.”

“Me?” Castiel asked in surprise. He had no idea anyone even knew who he was. Wade just nodded. “No. I’m not going anywhere with you. I need to be with Dean.” Castiel replied. He sounded a lot stronger than he felt. His heart started to beat hard in his chest when Wade rested one hand on his arm. 

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to insist.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean kept his head down in silence all the way back to the precinct. His eyes were closed shut, sweat drying on his skin while his heartbeat slowly returned to normal. All he could think about was Castiel. He let the officers lead him in without a struggle. All the fight had gone out of him. Dean was so scared he might have lost Castiel forever. The desk sergeant removed all his possessions and dropped them in a tray. Dean hadn't spoken a word since he vowed to come back for Cas through the glass of the car window. He felt even worse knowing Castiel probably hadn't heard all those heartfelt promises he made. Now Dean might have to break them all, and he once swore to him he would never do that. Everything hurt.

“Book him - assault. You still got one phone call, Winchester.” Dean was read his rights and remanded in one of the temporary holding cells at the local station. It was cold and bleak and it smelled disgusting, but Dean hardly even noticed. He was pacing backwards and forwards like a caged animal while his thoughts were consumed by the knowledge Castiel was now vulnerable and alone. Dean knew he hadn't imagined that scent earlier. Something was wrong. It made his whole body ache not being able to hold him, and swear everything would be alright.

Dean growled with frustration and banged his fists against the bars now keeping them apart. He should have really been more concerned about the long list of overdue warrants and unpaid fines racked up in his name, but right now he didn’t care about any of that. He had to get out. Castiel needed him, and he let him down. Dean would never forget the fear and disappointment he thought he saw reflected in those sad blue eyes as they led him away. He hoped Castiel would be able to forgive him.

Dean cursed himself over and over for reacting so violently, but something dark came over him when he saw another man’s hands on his precious Castiel. Everything had been a relentless repetition of danger-protect-mate. It had pounded so hard behind his eyes, it all came rushing out in a burst of fury. He wasn’t even sure he could have stopped it if he tried. Dean had done all he could to give Castiel the strength to love him back after spending most of his life searching. He would be fucked if he was going to let anyone try and take that away from him.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel slowly pulled his arm free, backing away as far as the small space would allow. 

“I’m sorry.” Castiel said again, but this time his voice faltered with panic. Wade knew his resolve was crumbling. “But the answer is no. I have to go, I have to be somewhere.”

“Well, it looks like you’ve made up your mind, so there’s nothing more to be said.” Wade replied. Castiel sighed with relief, but it was only a cruel way of shattering his defenses and making him believe he was safe. “Unless… well, maybe I have a solution to both our little problems.” Castiel looked back up, every instinct warning him to refuse anything this man had to offer. Crowley was as devious as they come, and Wade hadn’t used up all his bargaining chips just yet. “Well, you want to see Dean again, and my employer wants to see you. I believe Mr. Crowley has a proposition for you.” Wade said, watching Castiel closely. He looked so pitiful standing in front of him with his hands twisted together, completely lost without his big strong alpha to look after him. He almost felt sorry for him. “So I’ll make you a deal. You come with me to meet my boss, probably won’t even be gone more than an hour, and I'll drop all charges against your precious Dean Winchester.” Wade promised, holding out his hand for Castiel to take.

It was all so obvious now. Wade thought, when he looked at Castiel. Everything had been carefully orchestrated just to get Dean out of the way. Wade had to admit that as far as strategies go - even for an evil dick like Crowley, that was pretty fucking clever.

Castiel closed his eyes. He had no choice if he wanted to save Dean from being locked up for good. He knew his alpha would be worried sick about him already. Castiel had to do anything he could to stop Dean from falling into despair. If this Crowley person only wanted to see him for an hour, then he would still be able to go straight to the precinct afterwards and tell Dean the good news he wasn’t going to be charged after all. It was almost too easy, but Castiel was so consumed by the need to be back in Dean’s arms, he didn’t hesitate to reach forward and trade a handshake.

“Alright.” Castiel replied cautiously, quickly releasing Wade’s hand. His fate was sealed.

The police finished up taking statements and warned them they would probably be needed again, so Castiel agreed he would make his way down town later to see Dean and find out when he was likely to be released. Wade wasted no time in ushering Castiel outside into a waiting black sedan, conveniently parked directly outside the entrance. Castiel rested his fingers on the handle. Just for a second, something told him to run. He suddenly pictured Dean trapped inside a small cold room with no escape, and his heart went out to him. Castiel sighed, and climbed in next to Wade. 

 Α ✫ Ω 

Crowley was waiting for them in his other office. He sat back to admire his prize.

“Castiel.” Crowley smiled. It was cold and superficial. His lip was twitching at one corner like he was biting back all the cruel things he wanted to say to this submissive little bitch who had cost him more time and effort to acquire than all his other charges put together. “I believe my associate here told you I have a little business venture I would like you to be involved with.” Castiel didn’t speak. He only agreed to this stupid meeting in the first place to save Dean, and wasn’t remotely interested in anything this man had to say. All he cared about was getting back to Dean and feeling his touch again. Castiel could hardly stand the pain of being separated from him before, but now it was almost unbearable. He was starting to fidget with agitation, desperate for the conversation to be over so he could just politely thank him for his time and leave. “I would like you to work for me. You have a certain _something_ I think my clients would be very interested in.” He said carefully. Castiel wasn’t really even listening anymore. He opened his mouth to decline again, when Crowley suddenly saw someone approaching. He silenced Castiel with one hand and excused himself for a minute to supposedly let him think it over. He really needed to talk in private with the people outside.

The more time that passed while Castiel sat there in Crowley’s basement, the more uneasy he began to feel. He didn’t like the way everyone seemed to be studying him like he was some kind of rare scientific specimen waiting to be dissected. It wasn’t so far from the truth.

“Check his neck.” Crowley demanded, watching Castiel through soundproof glass. “He’s no fucking good to me if that bastard Winchester has already claimed him.”

The men did as they were asked. Castiel just sat there in stunned silence, while several people entered the room. One of them roughly pushed down the collar of his shirt. He flinched at the touch, but the man ignored his distress and continued to examine the skin on his neck and shoulders with searching eyes. He seemed satisfied enough to nod a confirmation to Crowley that Castiel was still pure and untouched. He pushed open the door and flashed Castiel a brilliant smile. It concealed all the contemptible plans he had for this beautiful rare omega who had slipped helplessly into his clutches.

“Mr. Crowley?” Castiel attempted weakly. “I appreciate the offer and everything, but I don’t feel so well and someone is waiting for me. Thank you, but I think I would very much like to leave now, please.”

The silence seemed to go on forever. Crowley’s face suddenly contorted into something terrible. It chilled Castiel to his very core.

“Darling.” Crowley mocked, leaning forward and making a rough grab for Castiel’s face. “You are absolutely priceless.” He pinned him hard between his finger and thumb, tilting his head up to make sure Castiel was looking straight into those dark eyes. “Who said anything about leaving?”

Α ✫ Ω 


	30. Chapter 30

Castiel felt his stomach twist into so many knots of alarm when he looked into those two piercing black daggers. They seemed to fix him in place with their cold glare of displeasure when Crowley stared at him. A hundred different thoughts flooded his mind with dismay and confusion.

“What?” Castiel managed, after a few seconds that felt like a lifetime. “I don’t understand.” He was now flanked on both sides by the other men who followed Crowley into the office. They were unbearably close. Castiel wouldn’t have been a bit surprised if they could hear his heart stammering out a fearful rhythm in his chest. His eyes flicked between them, twisting his head around when they closed in on him. He could feel a familiar panic surge through his body at the chilling implications of Crowley’s promise. He wondered if it was all just a terrible joke that wasn’t funny at all. “I’m sorry, but I really need to leave. I have to be somewhere.” Castiel gasped, trying to be much braver than he felt. He realized words were just spilling out in desperation, but he wasn’t bothered if he sounded pathetic. He had to leave. Castiel didn’t care what they thought of him - he only cared about his alpha and how much he wanted to be with him right now. Anything might have happened to Dean since they were forced away from each other, and he knew Dean would practically be scaling the bars with frustration. Blaming his treacherous instincts for keeping them apart. He saw the look in Dean’s eyes when they drove him away. All the light behind them had been extinguished with that one fateful decision.

“Let me guess.” Crowley said slowly. He dared a smug smirk of satisfaction that he could read Castiel so easily. His developing love for Dean was pushing through the fragile surface of all his transparent emotions and Crowley could see it all there so clearly in pleading eyes. Castiel might not have realized it himself yet but he _was_ in love with Dean, and that was something Crowley intended to use to manipulate him into submission and get him to do what he wanted. He couldn't have hoped for anything better. Castiel was a blank canvas of innocence and trust, just waiting for some unscrupulous and ruthless bastard to get their hands on and create a masterpiece. An unattainable fantasy of unclaimed omega perfection. It was almost too easy. “You want Dean Winchester?” Crowley let him suffer a few minutes of tortuous pretense. Castiel opened his mouth to ask him how he could possibly know about Dean, but Crowley silenced him with the press of a pudgy finger against his lips. “I know Castiel, I know.” He soothed. “Such a shame. Poor Dean… all locked up with nowhere to go and no one to help him.” His voice made Castiel cringe inside. Crowley petted his face with a clammy palm, that only made him want to retch. It was insufferable. Comparing it to the soft warm pleasure that always soaked him in bliss when Dean touched him like that. They couldn’t have been more different. “I’m sure he must be wondering why you haven’t gone to him already.” The realization he had been lured into such a horrible trap made Castiel feel sick to the pit of his stomach.

“Please.” He whispered, a rush of nausea threatening to rise up inside his throat. “Let me go to him.”

Crowley smiled again but he shook his head, and the smile became meaningless. He was enjoying the way Castiel shifted uncomfortably in his seat and flexed his fingers nervously in and out while he waited. The anxiety was building so quickly it felt like every muscle in his body was twitching. The tightness behind his ribs was almost painful.

“What’s the rush, Castiel?” Crowley asked, with mock confusion. “I don’t think he'll be going anywhere for a while.” One of the men at Castiel’s side laughed quietly. He wished with everything he had, he never agreed to such a stupid request in the first place. There was a reason why Crowley demanded someone check the unbroken skin on his neck. Wade was nowhere to be seen, but he knew now exactly why he had been taken. This wretched man now leering over him knew his precious secret. A secret he had kept hidden for so long, it had made him who he was. He paled at the loss. Castiel suspected that was the _something special_ Crowley had seen in him, and the use of the word client in the same sentence was a warning he couldn’t ignore. All those years of hiding and denial were worthless. Crowley still wore the same dark expression, and Castiel guessed leaving was no longer an option. He had been so blind. His desire to save Dean from whatever fate awaited him had completely distorted his perception of danger.

He wanted Dean more than ever.

Castiel's eyes darted round the room. The stale air was making his chest hitch, and he was struggling to breathe. Everything was closing in on him again. All the good Dean had done was now at risk of being lost. Crowley was sneering at him with distaste when Castiel started to tremble. He needed water.

“Don’t put him in with the others.” Crowley ordered. He looked Castiel up and down like he was trying to make a judgement in his head about what to do with him first. “This one’s special.” He added, reaching up again to rest the tips of two fingers on the side of Castiel’s face. It sent a cold trail of revulsion flowing into his skin and winding a slimy path down his neck. Fear washed over him. “Take him to the isolation room. I think it’s empty. I want to train this one myself.” Crowley let his hand fall. Castiel suddenly felt a tight grip on each arm. He was pulled to his feet, dangling in front of Crowley like a worm on a hook. It was a bitter analogy.

“What?” Castiel gasped. The tips of his feet were only just brushing against the floor. “No.” He cried defiantly. “Get off me, let me go.” He tried to wriggle free, but Castiel was no match in strength. He was held fast. “Dean!” Castiel knew Dean couldn't hear his plea for help, but it came out anyway. Dean was the only one who ever made him feel safe, and he wasn’t there. The cold truth his beloved alpha didn’t even know where he was made his eyes fill with tears. 

Crowley seemed more than satisfied he had Castiel exactly where he wanted him, and now he knew his weakness - Dean Winchester. 

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean watched the distant blue and black blur drift across the space in front of his eyes while they dipped in and out of focus. Many people came and went as he waited impatiently in the blank cell. A sinking feeling of helplessness pulling at his battered heart with every minute that passed without Castiel pressed up against him. The harsh betrayal of his own dying hope pushed into every conscious thought and told him over and over again, Castiel didn’t want to see him. Dean was still pacing in the small confines of the holding room. Everything was so empty without his beautiful omega, like a part of him was missing somehow. He couldn’t explain it. It felt like a persistent itch that just wouldn't go away and every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was Castiel’s sweet face and the look of distress in those deep pools of blue when he watched Dean tear at the other alpha in wild fury. Dean vowed right there to make sure Castiel would never see him like that again. To know he had caused the pain made it so much worse.

“Winchester - you ready yet?” A voice shouted, from somewhere off to one side. Dean glanced up to see one of the arresting officers approaching the bars with his thumbs resting casually in his belt loops. Dean noticed the baton and holster hanging over his hips. He had to make that one call. His first thought was for Castiel, but Dean didn’t even know how to start begging for his forgiveness. Castiel hadn't come to the station at all, so his mind drifted to Sam when he miserably stood up. The man opened the door and Dean instinctively turned around so the cuffs were clicked back into place. He was led over to the desk with his head bowed low. All those rampant alpha hormones that were so quick to rush through his bloodstream when Castiel was cornered had long since faded away. All that was left was a lingering ache of regret and a hollow longing that filled him with sadness. He couldn’t understand why Castiel would forsake him. Dean had been so sure he was starting to feel the same. It sent a spiral of dread winding its way down his spine. He called the number with shaking hands and waited for his brother to pick up.

 Α ✫ Ω 

“You almost done, Gabe?” Sam asked softly. He reached across the centre of the table and started to stack the books into a pile so they could return them to the shelves before they left. Gabriel nodded without looking up and pushed the rest of them towards Sam with one hand. He was still reading the one spread open in front of him. Sam waited for him to finish the last paragraph. Gabriel looked thoughtful, eyes sliding across the page from side to side while he absorbed the text. He seemed fascinated by it all. Gabriel realized he had never known Castiel, not really. He made so many assumptions about his brother since the day he presented and forced terrible decisions on him that had shaped his life into a long history of fear and mistrust, when all he really needed was someone like Dean to care for him. Gabriel eventually closed the book. He caught Sam studying him, and blinked in surprise.

“What is it?” Sam asked with concern. He had an unusually tight expression. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing, it’s fine.” Gabriel replied, but it was a poorly concealed lie. He tried to force his mouth into a smile, but Sam wasn’t quite so easily deceived. He knew something was really bothering him. Gabriel’s bright eyes flickered while they stared at each other. “I was wrong Sam... so very wrong to send him away like that and there’s nothing I can do to ever make it right.” Gabriel admitted. He rubbed one hand across his face and pinched the space between his eyes, trying to clear the blurry images away. He couldn’t be sure whether the pounding in his head was a product of underlying guilt or too much reading. Gabriel felt a gentle touch on the back of his hand.

“If we could change the past, we'd never learn from it.” Sam said quietly. “We all have regrets, Gabe. It could never be too late to show Cas how much you love him.”

Gabriel nodded, his smile suddenly becoming much warmer. Sam was startled from the surprisingly intimate moment by a sudden and persistent vibration in his back pocket. He reluctantly pulled his hand away and fumbled to retrieve the phone. A number he didn’t recognize flashed across the screen. Sam knew he wouldn’t be able to answer it in the library, so he let it ring and shoved it back into his pocket before they both started to clear away. It couldn’t have been particularly important. If Dean needed him, he would have used his own cell and Castiel was still safe at home, so Sam wasn’t unduly concerned. It might have even been someone calling him back about his job application down at dispatch, but he could always ring them back when they got outside.

Ten minutes later, they were both standing on the main steps again, breathing in the fresh air. Sam immediately reached for his phone and noticed he had a new voicemail. He lifted up one hand in apology for the interruption. Gabriel allowed Sam a moment of privacy while he retrieved the message. The sky had grown much darker and Gabriel wondered how long they actually spent together that afternoon. He couldn’t deny he enjoyed the company. When he heard a click, Gabriel turned to thank Sam for his time, but nothing came out at all when he saw the look on his face. Most of the colour had simply drained away, his mouth dropped open in startled dismay. Gabriel quickly reached for Sam's arm to comfort him.

“What? Sam? What happened?” He demanded, a stab of panic sending adrenaline pumping through his body. “Is Castiel alright? Sam?” Gabriel really didn’t seem to be getting through, so he gave Sam's arm a gentle shake to try and pull him out of it. His face was fixed with familiar resignation and the disappointment he hoped was left behind forever after the last move. He should have known it couldn’t last.

“Yeah, sorry… well - I presume so. It’s Dean, he’s been arrested again. He’s down at the precinct.”

“Arrested?” Gabriel jerked his head back. ”For what?”

“Assault.” Sam added with a sigh, pocketing the phone and zipping up his jacket. “It always is.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean was soon returned to his cell with the advice he may as well get comfortable. Those words had felt like tiny cuts, slashing at the promise of freedom and his way back to Castiel. He passed much of the time just staring at the door on the other side of the holding area. Every time it opened his heart filled with hope it would be Castiel coming for him, coming to tell Dean everything was alright and how he forgave him for losing control like that. Dean wanted to see him so badly. Just to touch him, bury his face in Castiel's hair and draw in that soft beautiful scent until he was reeling from it. Every time he was disappointed. He scuffed the end of his boots, kicking aimlessly at the crumbling plaster lining his cell and distracting himself by closing his eyes and picturing Castiel’s face in his mind. How he longed to lose himself in those blue eyes again. Next time he would tell Castiel how much he meant to him. Dean swore he would pull that boy into his arms and never let him go. He slid down the wall and dropped his face into his hands.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel was taken to a small dark room at the end of a long dingy corridor and practically shoved inside by the same brutal grip that dragged him almost the whole way while he fought valiantly against it. Before long the door opened and Crowley made an imposing entrance, but at least this time he was alone. Castiel wouldn’t even give him the satisfaction of looking at him, and turned his face away.

“I hope we can move past this rather unnecessary display of resistance.” Crowley suggested, in that same sickly sweet voice of forced civility that made Castiel want to puke. Crowley really didn’t have time to waste on waiting for Castiel to accept his fate. He never had much respect for those unfortunate omegas he managed to sell on at the earliest opportunity and a male one like Castiel was so low in his estimation, it pained him to have to speak to him at all.

“I don’t want to talk to you.” Castiel whispered. “Dean will find me... I know he will.”

Crowley couldn’t resist a knowing smirk when Castiel tried to shield his body with his arms. He started to curl in on himself again. 

“Ah, Dean. Yes… now that you mention him. I do think your heroic alpha might struggle to find much of anything for a very long time.” Castiel slowly lifted up his head. 

“What?”

“You may not be aware that I have a lot of influence in this city, Castiel. Your brother knew that well.” Castiel stared up at him in disbelief at the mention of Gabriel. “A strategically placed phone call here and there can often work wonders.” He added. Castiel suddenly remembered the officer at the bar talking to someone on Wade’s cell just before he was inexplicably released. “In my business there are a lot of people who have many dark secrets, Castiel. Secrets they are prepared to protect - at any cost.”

“You mean blackmail.”

“Semantics.” Crowley replied indifferently. “Anyway, your Dean Winchester is in a great deal of trouble.” He silenced Castiel again, so he could continue without any more interruptions. "I could easily make all that trouble just go away... and I only want one thing in return for my mercy.” Castiel closed his eyes. “Your compliance, Castiel. That's what I want.” He stressed. “Your compliance for Dean’s freedom.” Crowley waited, but Castiel couldn’t speak. There was a suffocating tightness in his throat that stopped him from being able to say anything at all. “I’m surprised you even need to consider that, but I'm a reasonable man. I'll give you some time to think it over.” Crowley turned to walk away, but seemed to suddenly remember one final thought he wanted to share. Just to make sure Castiel knew how serious he was. “But be warned, Castiel. I'm not known for my patience. I'll expect an answer when I return, and if you try anything… anything at all.” He gave Castiel one last glance. “I'll break him.”

Castiel heard the lock click shut when the door slammed, but he instinctively pulled at the handle anyway. He banged his fists relentlessly against the opening to his prison until his arms ached and the skin on the side of his hands was rubbed raw. Castiel bit back the tears of frustration before he slumped to the floor and rested his head against the door. He was lost without Dean.

They were both trapped in dark cages of their own making. All they wanted was to be together and it just didn’t seem fair somehow. Castiel cursed his stupidity while Dean cursed the very nature of everything he was. Their thoughts were consumed by memories of each other, holding on to the hope of being together again over the temptation of letting their hearts plunge into despair.

The chance of their pair-bond coming to completion now rested in the cruel hands of another.

Α ✫ Ω 


	31. Chapter 31

Sam set off to the precinct at a brutal pace. Gabriel was padding behind him, relentlessly pestering him for details. Sam was worried Gabriel would now suppose he'd been right about Dean all along. He never wanted anyone to think his brother wasn’t good enough for Castiel, and all that doubt kept eating away at him until he just had to say something. He suddenly stopped in the middle of the street and turned to face him.

“Gabe.” Sam put out his arms. Gabriel had no choice but to stop. “You don’t have to come with me.” Gabriel looked surprised and maybe even a little offended, but Sam didn't mean it like that. “Hey, I just meant this isn’t your problem and if you don’t want to come with, I'll understand.” 

Gabriel answered before Sam even finished the sentence. 

“I know that, Sam. But I have to accept Dean isn’t going anywhere. I’ve seen them together, remember.” He added. The memory of how close Dean and Castiel had become stirred a protective instinct. Physically and emotionally. “It seems likely Castiel is going to end up being mated by him, anyway.” He stared at his feet while he kicked at the ground. “I can see Dean cares for him. I know now I have to let Castiel make his own choices.” He said decisively. “Besides, I thought you might want some company.” Sam felt something warm inside him when Gabriel looked up with those searching golden eyes that always seemed so very persuasive.

“You really don’t mind?” Sam asked uncertainly, screwing up one eye. Gabriel just shook his head, so they headed off again. This time they walked together side by side. Gabriel seemed genuinely interested in everything Sam had to say.

“Seeing as they’re practically glued to each other, Castiel's probably already there anyway so I may as well tag along.” Gabriel was desperate to ask the question that was on his mind since he discovered what Dean had been arrested for. “So this happens a lot then, huh?” He asked carefully. There were a few seconds of slightly less comfortable silence. “With Dean, I mean. I didn’t know he was a violent man.”

“He’s not.” Sam said, rather too quickly. He twisted his head to give Gabriel a stern glare. “He would never hurt Cas, if that’s what you're implying.”

“I wasn’t.” Gabriel mumbled. Sam seemed satisfied he meant it.

“He just loses control sometimes.” Sam said sadly. “Now I think he feels like he has a right to protect Cas, too. He’s always been very possessive.”

“I know, I’ve seen the way he looks at my brother.” Gabriel answered quietly. Sam wasn’t sure that was intended for him to hear, but Gabriel certainly had a point. Dean always looked at Castiel like he wanted to eat him, but lately there was something else there, too. Like everything else in the world just faded from Dean’s thoughts when they were together. Castiel was all that mattered.

They reached the station in twenty minutes. Gabriel was out of breath and panting hard by the time they got to the entrance. Sam was a hard man to keep up with when he was on a mission. Gabriel let him take the lead as they approached the desk. He could see Sam becoming more and more agitated. He pushed forward to monopolize the sergeant’s attention.

“Winchester? Dean Winchester?” Sam asked breathlessly. “I understand you’re holding him on assault charges.”

The officer seemed totally unflustered by Sam’s urgent demands. He slowly turned to the computer and tapped in a few particulars.

“Yeah, we have him… you are?”

“He’s my brother. He called me to come get him.”

“Well, I don’t think they’ve finished with him yet, but if you wait here I’ll go find out if you can see him.” He added casually, soon disappearing into one of the back rooms. Sam ran one hand through his hair and tried to pretend he was much calmer than he felt. It had been a while since the last time Dean put him in this position but it never got any easier.

“Thanks.” Sam called after him. He didn’t get a response. Gabriel had never been in a police station before in his life and was finding the whole incident decidedly unpleasant. He was startled from his thoughts a few minutes later by the sound of a heavy paper folder being dropped on the desk in front of them.

“Okay. We’re going to have to hold him a bit longer but one of you can go in to see him.” Sam’s entire body deflated with relief.

“Thank you.” He glanced anxiously at Gabriel over his shoulder but Sam didn’t need to say anything. Gabriel already knew what he was going to ask.

“I’ll wait for you.” He promised gently, just before Sam walked away. He followed the officer down a long corridor, swallowing uncomfortably at the familiar sound of jangling keys. As soon as the door swung open, Sam could see Dean locked inside the cell opposite. He was still on the floor with his back against the wall, legs pulled up tight against his chest. His head was resting on his knees. Sam’s heart sank.

Dean finally stirred from his private desolation, jerking his head up in hopeful anticipation. His face fell with yet another disappointment, but Sam didn’t take it personally. He knew who Dean was waiting for, but it was obvious Sam had come alone. They spent a few seconds just staring at each other. Neither of them seemed ready to point out the obvious.

“Dean…” Sam sighed, when the moment crossed over the line of disapproving silence into just plain awkward.

“I’m sorry, man.” Dean said quietly. He couldn’t look Sam in the eyes and focused on the floor tiles instead. “I just wanted to protect Cas.” Sam came closer, wrapping his fingers round one of the bars when he peered down at Dean between the gaps.

“I guessed as much.” Sam replied. “Problem is, they have a lot more on you than that, Dean. You know that.” Dean didn't care about the amount of trouble he was in. All he cared about was getting out and making sure Castiel was safe. He already suspected Castiel was coming into heat again. It was probably his fault for touching him so much. Now he was alone and more vulnerable than ever without Dean to watch out for him. “What happened?” Dean shook his head. Sam noticed his eyes kept drifting to the space behind his shoulder.

“I lost it Sam - that’s what happened.” Dean answered honestly. He saw little point in filling Sam’s head with some bullshit story that would no doubt come back to bite him. “This fucking asshole was touching Cas and I just couldn’t stand it. Every instinct was warning me he was no good. I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to rip him apart so I taught him it’s not polite to play with other people’s things without asking.”

“Dean, Cas isn’t a possession.” Sam protested. Dean frowned at him. That was insulting.

“I know.” Dean said fiercely. “That’s not what I meant.” Dean had spent most of his time in isolation trying to reconcile what he did with how he felt about Castiel. He was still finding it hard to subdue all those over-protective desires that were impossible to control. Deep emotions had been building for so long, they were all set free like a firestorm when Dean believed his claim on such a beautiful omega had been threatened. The last thing he wanted was for Castiel to be frightened of him. There was a tense pause before Dean just had to ask the one thing he wanted to know most. The only thing that had tortured him since being locked up. “Is Cas alright?” Dean asked quietly, hanging his head in shame again. He didn’t know how much Sam knew already, and was scared to death Castiel might have said he wanted nothing more to do with him after everything that happened.

“I don’t know.” Sam shrugged. “We thought he was with you.”

“What do you mean _we_?” Dean flicked his eyes back up in a heartbeat. Sam turned his face away.

“I was still in town with Gabriel when I got your message. He wanted to see Cas.”

“What?” Dean could feel a wave of alarm building when he realized Castiel might not have made it back to the apartment. “Sam, if he’s not with you, then where is he? Where is he?” He yelled, panic rising. He was instantly on his feet and up close to Sam before he had a chance to answer. Dean was blind to all else, and started shouting frantically for someone to come and let him out.

“Dean, for God’s sake, calm down.” Sam insisted. He watched helplessly while Dean pressed his body up against the bars like he could somehow force a way through. “You’re not going to help Cas like that, stop it.” Sam demanded. To his surprise, Dean obeyed. He pulled away and slumped forward in defeat, struggling to push away the suffocating dread. The need to be free was consuming all his other senses. It was obvious he wasn't handling their separation well.

“I hate being away from him.” Dean whispered. Sam could see his face was drawn in pain at the thought of them being kept apart. Neither of them had the slightest idea how long the police would be able to hold him, and the uncertainty was agonizing.

“I know, Dean.” Sam replied gently. Dean closed his eyes again. He had always been the strong one - the one who could deal with anything life had to throw at him. Now he felt weak and useless. Knowing he let Castiel down so badly tore at his conscience. He made a promise he would always take care of his mate and now he didn’t know if he would be able to keep it. “I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know that, and you sure as hell don't need to humour me. I think he’s close to his heat again, Sam. I sensed it. You can’t leave him alone out there. Sam?” Dean prompted again, when his brother didn’t respond. “I mean it.” The stress in his trembling voice was undeniable. “If I don’t get out of here…”

“Dean.” Sam tried to pacify him, but it had little effect.

“Look after him for me.” Dean begged. Every single word was splintered with emotion. It made Sam’s heart fill with sympathy. Dean looked so broken.

“Don’t talk like that.” Sam was trying his best to stop Dean from freaking out completely, consciously ignoring the doubt now swamping his own thoughts. An officer came to remove him after a few minutes and Sam promised he would try and call Castiel as soon as he could. He would get a message to Dean somehow to let him know he was alright. Sam swore he would watch out for Cas until Dean was released. It was all he could do to dampen the pleading fear in Dean’s eyes when Sam gave him one last look over his shoulder. Gabriel seemed surprised to see him emerge from the holding area alone.

“What happened? Where’s Dean?” He asked. Sam shook his head. 

“They’re gonna hold him, Gabe. I didn’t say anything to Dean ‘cause he's jittery enough as it is, but he’s in some serious shit. I can’t seem to get that into his head. All he cares about is making sure I watch out for Cas. Can you ring him just to make sure he got home okay?” Gabriel immediately reached for his phone. Sam saw him frown when Castiel didn’t pick up.

“He’s not answering.” Gabriel said. He stared at the screen and worried the inside of his cheek. “That’s weird, it didn’t even ring.” Sam left his contact details at the desk, and decided he was of no use to Dean just waiting in reception so they both headed back to the apartment building as fast as they could to try and find Castiel. Sam wasn’t looking forward to explaining why Dean wasn’t with them. Gabriel repeatedly tried his cell every few minutes until they were standing outside the entrance to Castiel's apartment. Sam banged hard on the door and shouted his name a few times, but there was nothing. Gabriel nudged him aside and stood up on the ends of his toes to try and peer through the spy hole. Sam heard him tut with frustration when he dropped back down again. He was starting to look anxious. “There’s no way he would leave without saying something. I honestly expected him to come straight back, but it doesn’t look like he’s been here at all.”

“Then where the hell is he?” Sam muttered. The silence that followed was suddenly broken by the sound of a sharp intake of air by his side.

“Oh, God.” Gabriel gasped in horror, his last conversation with Crowley flooding out from deep inside his memory. It rushed through him like an infusion of poison. He felt his knees give a little, and leaned against the wall for support. If Castiel had been taken, there was only one person he knew who had the motivation and the resources to do it. Gabriel felt sick with guilt. He closed his eyes. “I think I know.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel was left alone with little idea of how much time had actually passed since Crowley locked him up. Even though he still felt unbelievably sick, he could feel his stomach protest with the first pangs of hunger. He slowly stood up to stretch his legs. Moving around the dark room in small circles of distress, and trying desperately hard to ignore the fact he really needed to pee.

Every muffled sound outside the door threatened him with Crowley’s presence. Castiel knew he would have to give him an answer when he returned. He missed Dean so much. The pain of being physically separated from him was starting to pull at every corner of his heart. His whole body felt like it was on fire, and the confined space was stale and airless.

He didn’t have to wait long.

Castiel heard the key turn in the lock and readied himself for another assault. When the door swung open, Castiel backed up against the wall. Trying to keep as much distance between them as possible. Crowley’s master plan was to manipulate Castiel’s mind. Blast him with a torrent of fear and doubt and fill his heart with misery and self-loathing. He had done a pretty good job of it so far. He saw the light go out of his eyes completely when he told him that waiting for Dean to save him was a hopeless dream. The door was barely closed behind him before he launched into another verbal attack.

“What’s the matter, Castiel? Still waiting for your prince?” His laugh was cold and hateful. Castiel refused to answer, but Crowley was only just getting started. “Do you honestly think you mean anything to him?” Crowley mocked, leaning into his space. Castiel could see the drops of perspiration shining on his upper lip. He recoiled in disgust. “Dean Winchester doesn’t want you.”

“What?” Castiel stammered, blue eyes spreading wide. He couldn't believe Crowley would say something so horrible to him.

“Why would he want a pathetic little bitch like you?”

Castiel blinked the budding tears away as the bitter sting of those words cut deep. Making him question everything he once held true. Dean wanted to be with him. He knew he did.

“You’re lying.” Castiel breathed out. Crowley watched another treacherous shadow of doubt darken Castiel’s face.

“Really? You honestly believe an alpha like that would really care about someone like you.” He added spitefully. Black eyes dull and lifeless. “So you can go live happily ever after and make little babies? I don’t think so.” Biting tears ran freely down Castiel’s cheeks in unbroken lines of despair. The very thought any of it could be true made his heart break. “You need to forget all about your Dean Winchester.”

“I can’t.” Castiel cried into his hands, shoulders shuddering while broken sobs wracked his body.

“Because believe me, Castiel. The minute he's free, I can promise he'll forget all about you. One word, Castiel. That’s all I need.” Crowley baited. “So I’ll ask you again. His freedom for your compliance... going once.” He crowded into Castiel. He was trapped against the wall when his captor bent down to whisper his final offer. Castiel just closed his eyes so he didn't have to look at that terrible man anymore. The threat Crowley would go out of his way to break Dean if he didn’t submit to all his demands had not been forgotten.

“Alright.” Castiel murmured the word so quietly, Crowley had to lean in even more to make sure he heard right. “Alright… I’ll do it. Whatever you want.” Castiel bowed his head. “Just let Dean go free.”

Crowley smiled. Castiel really hadn’t been so difficult to crack after all. As soon as Crowley knew exactly where to hurt him, he was just another pliant, helpless submissive. He expected more from him, but without any hope and the sweet promise of Dean’s love, his spirit was already broken.

“That’s what I thought.”

Castiel followed him to another room with an unbearable ache in his heart. Whatever cruelty he had to endure would be worth the sacrifice. Dean would be free, and Castiel would always have his precious memories of him. No one could ever take those away. A last shining spark of hope still lingered deep inside him. Castiel longed for Dean to save him, and that was Crowley’s one mistake. He underestimated Dean Winchester and his love for Castiel. It would be his downfall. They were always destined to be together. Dean would soon move heaven and earth to get him back.

Winchester style.

Α ✫ Ω 


	32. Chapter 32

“I don’t like the way you said that.” Sam stared at Gabriel with concern. “What do you mean, you think you know? Where is he, Gabe?” Gabriel looked like almost all his colour had drained completely away. He was still using the wall outside Castiel’s apartment to steady himself.

“Sam.” He sighed so breathlessly when he answered, it sounded like he might be in pain. “I’ve done something terrible.”

Sam quickly went over a hundred possible scenarios in his head when he saw the fear in Gabriel’s eyes. He was biting into his lip. Gabriel sank back against the wall and covered his face with his hands. Sam grabbed him by the shoulders. He was close enough to hear Gabriel breathing in shallow gasps of air between his fingers.

“ _What_ did you do?” Sam demanded. He had never seen Gabriel so restless. He was muttering into his hands and shaking his head. Sam just caught a whispered string of curses drift by the side of his face and the last one sounded suspiciously like _fucking idiot_. “Gabriel.” Sam said firmly, shaking his shoulders to stir him back to reality. Gabriel made the mistake of looking into Sam’s eyes, and he knew right then he would have to confess what he'd done. Sam was still worried sick about Dean and now Castiel had seemingly disappeared into thin air. Everything was such a mess. No matter how unintentional it had been, Gabriel knew he had made it all so much worse. He was trying to protect Castiel from someone who hadn’t really been a threat at all. If he'd known Dean before he had gone to Crowley, Gabriel would have understood they were meant to be and left well alone. There was nothing he could do to change that now. It was too late, and the damage had been done.

Sam was still holding on to him, sorry if that sounded a little harsh. He aimlessly slid his hands down the length of Gabriel’s arms to secure his attention. Gabriel thought about coming up with something plausible to explain why he reacted like that. When he met Sam's gaze, the decision made itself. There was something about the way Sam was searching his face for answers. Expecting Gabriel to tell him the truth with such a powerful intensity, it made him pause. He didn’t deserve to be lied to.

“I don’t know how to tell you. Dean is going to kill me.” 

Sam let his arms fall.

“Just say it. Whatever it is doesn’t change the fact we still need to find Cas. I promised Dean I would watch out for him and I’m not gonna let him down - he’s in a dark enough place as it is.” Sam replied. He'd enjoyed Gabriel’s company over the last couple of days but he was starting to realize he didn’t really know all that much about him. Sam wanted to trust him, but now there was so much guilt lining his face, Sam wondered if he'd made a mistake.

“Okay, okay I will… but not here, Sam.” Gabriel glanced nervously up and down the corridor. Sam suggested they go back to Room 69 so they could talk in private. Gabriel followed Sam in silence. By the time he got the door unlocked and ushered Gabriel inside, the tension was almost tangible. Sam sat down on the corner of the table, his eyes fixed hard on Gabriel’s face and both arms folded across his chest. Gabriel sighed so deeply his whole body seemed to sag in defeat. He hated to think Sam might be disappointed in him. “I suppose I should start at the beginning.” He said. Sam nodded again. “Before I tell you what I think might have happened to Castiel, I want you to know I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for what I did.”

“Gabriel, spit it out.” Sam ordered impatiently. “We haven’t got time to piss about. I've gotta get back to Dean and tell him Cas is okay. How the hell am I supposed to do that if we don’t even know where he is?”

Gabriel looked so dejected, Sam almost felt sorry for him. He knew how much Dean wanted to be reunited with Castiel and if Sam couldn’t make that happen, it was both their asses on the line. He couldn’t even imagine what that would do to Dean. To say it would crush him wouldn't even start to cover it, and Sam didn’t want to be responsible for that. He was stirred from his thoughts by the sound of Gabriel’s voice.

“When I found out an alpha targeted Castiel, I thought he was going to take advantage of him, and I wasn’t about to let that happen. I’ve always tried to look out for him, knowing how scared he was. The pills I sent obviously didn’t work on Dean, and that was something I had no answer for.”

“But you know why - ” Sam started.

“I do now!” Gabriel cried in distress. “Sam, I had no idea what was going on. I was wrong. I know that now, and I’m so sorry.”

“You said that already. Gabriel, I need to know where Cas is so I can go get him. We can deal with the floggings later.”

Sam was trying hard not to show how on edge he was. He already felt sick at the thought of Dean being incarcerated and Gabriel’s ominous hints certainly hadn't helped to put him at ease. Sam was starting to suspect that whatever Gabriel was hiding had something to do with Castiel’s safety, and that was the one thing Sam worried about most. At the back of his mind he knew he would have to relay all of this back to his brother. Dean was so consumed with protecting Castiel, he would probably go ballistic. Dean on a possessive hormone–fuelled rampage was bad enough when he had space to pace around and throw things. It was going to be a hundred times worse when he was locked behind metal bars, powerless to save the man he loved from a fate worse than death.

“I went to see someone - an old business acquaintance of mine, actually. I never really trusted him, but I panicked.” Gabriel admitted reluctantly. “He's opened up a rather disreputable business in the city and advertises it as some sort of night club, but I think there’s a lot more goes on there than that. I only went to see him because I know he has contacts here. I was terrified Dean would claim Castiel against his will, so I thought about paying him to make sure Cas would be well looked after when I went back home.” He suddenly stopped when the horrible realization he sold out his brother to an unscrupulous monster washed over him. “I tried to call it off when I saw them together, honestly I did.” Gabriel added. His eyes were pleading with Sam to believe him. “I even went back to his office, but they wouldn’t let me in to see him. I thought that was an end to it until today.”

“Sorry?” Sam interrupted. “I don’t see what this has to do with anything. Why would this man care?” Gabriel seemed to hesitate a little too long before he managed to force out the truth.

“I told him Castiel was an omega.”

“Gabe.” Sam whined in despair. “Why? Why would you do that?”

“I don’t know.” He stammered, gulping down a mouthful of air. “I’ve been going over and over it in my head. I still don’t know why I said it, but I bet Crowley wanted him.”

“Hang on... I don’t understand.” Sam screwed his face up to illustrate the point. “You think someone _took_  him?” His voice was little more than a whisper. Gabriel closed his eyes at the disgusting thought of someone like Crowley putting his hands all over Castiel. He nodded. “Well, we have to get him back.” Sam said purposefully. He started searching through his pockets for the phone.

“Sam.” Gabriel warned. “They won’t let us in. I'm sure Crowley knows I’ll figure it out sooner or later. He has security all over the place. We wouldn’t get past the front door.” Sam sifted through all the information in his head. He was still struggling with the idea someone would do something like that in broad daylight, in a city crawling with law enforcement.

“Gabe, I’m not saying I don’t believe you, but it all sounds a bit unlikely someone would just abduct Cas and hope no one would notice. Let’s keep trying his cell and check down at dispatch first before we say anything to Dean. I think he was due back on shift today or tomorrow anyway.” Sam said hopefully. He seemed so convinced there was a more rational explanation for Castiel’s disappearance that even Gabriel felt his heart lift a little. Maybe Castiel was safe after all. 

“God, I hope you’re right. Okay. I’ll do whatever you want, Sam. If you think we should head down there before we start to rip the club apart, I’m happy to go along with you.” Gabriel replied. “But if he’s not at work, then I think we need to start facing the fact Castiel might have been taken.”

They set off back to dispatch together. Gabriel held on to the futile hope he had over-reacted as usual and Castiel would be there to meet them. Sam wanted to be able to go back and tell Dean that Castiel was safe and relieve some of his heartache. They were both going to be disappointed.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel was pushed into a small room lined with fading pictures and an unmade bed in one shadowy corner. He tried not to look at the distasteful images surrounding him on every wall. He refused to sit down.

“Get ready.” Crowley told him, with no explanation. “Wash up and put that on.” Castiel looked to where Crowley was pointing and his stomach turned again. Someone had laid out a bowl of water and a small towel next to a crumpled pile of material. Something Crowley wanted him to wear for whatever vile purpose he had planned for him, no doubt. Castiel wanted to retch, but he forced the feeling away and let his thoughts fill with memories of Dean. He was doing this for him. It was all the motivation Castiel needed to keep going until his alpha came to save him. He only gave his consent to Crowley with the hope Dean would tear up the world to find him. It didn’t matter Crowley had stuffed his head with cruel lies, trying to make him doubt how much Dean cared for him. Castiel always saw the desire in Dean’s eyes. The way his mouth would sometimes twitch into a shy smile at one corner when he pressed against him or wrapped their fingers together.

Castiel reluctantly washed, but he didn't get changed. When Crowley returned within the hour to check Castiel had done as he was told, he was met with more unexpected resistance. Castiel wasn't willing to submit to any demands until he was sure Dean was free. He didn’t trust Crowley not to stab him in the back if he got the chance and his word meant very little. Crowley seemed satisfied Castiel would do very well as a new toy for his clients, unable to resist the temptation to take hold of his face again. He traced his fingers downwards, suddenly grabbing Castiel by the arm and twisting him round so he could get a good look at him. The soft curves and lines were something new. He might not have had a name for what Castiel was, but he knew a unique specimen when he saw one. 

“I can smell you, Castiel. Don’t you have something you can take to mask that?” Crowley complained, but Castiel didn’t even justify it with a response. So much had happened in the last few hours, he forgot he stopped taking his pills and the scent of ripe omega was starting to push through his skin again. The vasopressins might have only been stimulated when he was close to Dean, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t smell like a bitch in heat to everyone else. Crowley seemed strangely unsettled by it and Castiel wasn't sure why. He soon got an answer. “Castiel, I want you to work here but I don’t want every horny alpha with a knot to pop drooling all over you. I wanted you unmated for a reason.”

Castiel listened in stunned silence. The thought anyone else would have the opportunity to get close enough to drool on him at all had sent his anxiety levels soaring again. He didn't know what Crowley wanted him to do yet, but he very much doubted it was anything good. Castiel was already in pain from being ripped away from Dean and their budding pair-bond. It was likely to get much worse the longer they were apart, but he didn’t dare mention it to Crowley. He couldn’t imagine what horrors that would unleash upon him if Crowley knew Dean was destined to find him.

“I want to see Dean.” Castiel said suddenly. The words were out of his mouth before he realized what he'd said. Crowley glared at him. “Just to make sure.”

“It’s not going to happen though, and you know that. I can’t risk him knowing where you are.” Crowley replied in a cold monotone. “What do you think that would achieve? So you can say a heart-breaking goodbye? No, Castiel. The answer is no.”

“I just want to know he’s okay, that he’s free.” Castiel argued defiantly. Crowley sighed at the persistent impudence Castiel seemed determined to hold on to. The look in his piercing blue eyes suggested the offer wasn't up for debate.

“No - I won’t allow that, but I'll make sure you have your proof.” Crowley growled at last. “But then you're mine. That’s the deal, Castiel.” He leaned in to press his face uncomfortably close to Castiel’s. “Take it or leave it.”

Castiel tried not to let any emotion show on his face. At least he would know for sure Crowley had kept his side of the bargain and arranged for Dean to be released. He still had faith the trust he placed in his alpha would not go unrewarded.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam and Gabriel walked into reception to find the same woman with the golden curls Sam had met earlier. She smiled at him when they approached the desk. A flicker of recognition sparkled in her eyes.

“Hey, you’re the guy who asked about the job.” 

Sam nodded.

“You remembered.”

“Of course I remembered.” She smiled again, and held out her hand. “I’m Jess, by the way. You were in such a hurry before I didn’t get chance to introduce myself. Have you come for an interview?”

“No, nothing like that.” Sam reached for her hand, but Gabriel coughed and squeezed his body between Sam and the edge of the counter.

“Sorry to interrupt, but we’re actually looking for someone.” He said urgently. “My brother works here. I need to see him, please.” Gabriel added. Jess looked between them. “It’s important.”

“Okay.” Jess said slowly. She gave Sam a quick glance for reassurance.

“I’m looking for Cas - Castiel.” Gabriel corrected. “He usually works the night shift but he’s been off sick for a few days and now we can’t find him. I wondered if he was putting in some extra hours or something. Is he here?”

“No, sorry. Haven’t seen him for ages.” Jess looked concerned. “Is he alright?”

Gabriel’s heart sank. 

“I guess not.” He said quietly. The alternative was unthinkable.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam left Gabriel to make his way back to the apartment to wait while he made another attempt to get in to see Dean before heading home for the night. He hated the thought of his brother being locked up like that. Sam managed to charm another five minutes out the desk sergeant. When he rounded the corner in the holding bay he could see Dean was still in the same position he left him in earlier. He looked terrible. Dean barely even glanced up when Sam approached the bars. His skin was sallow and he had dark circles under his eyes. He bowed his head again without a word.

“How are you?” Sam attempted carefully. He already knew the answer, but felt like he had to ask anyway. Dean was falling apart without Castiel and Sam knew it, but he kept that to himself.

“Peachy.” Dean answered blankly. He sighed into his hands. “Sam, I’m barely holding it together.” He admitted. “My baby is out there somewhere and I can’t help him. You have no idea how I feel.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sam replied, leaning up against the bars. There was no point in pretending either of them were okay. “I was just trying to make you feel better. But listen, they can’t keep you in here forever. You’re not exactly America’s most wanted, Dean and if you can get bail - ” Sam hesitated. “I think Gabriel would pay it.”

“What? Why would he do that? I thought he hated me.”

“Of course he doesn’t hate you.” Sam answered calmly. “But he might have an idea where Cas is. He thinks somebody might have taken him... someone who knows he’s an omega.” Sam screwed up his face, waiting for the inevitable explosion blistering just under the surface of Dean’s skin.

“How? How could anyone know that?”

Sam bit the inside of his cheek. 

“Gabriel told him.” He whispered.

“Are you fucking serious?” Dean suddenly shot to his feet, shouting through the bars when the anger rose up in him again. “This is all _his_ fault? In that case, you can tell that sneaky bastard I’m coming after him next.”

“That’s not fair, Dean.” Sam said gently. “He didn’t know.”

“You’re taking his side?” 

“No, I’m not taking any side.” Sam said indignantly. “It’s not about that. He made an honest mistake, Dean. I don’t know how many more times he could say he’s sorry.” Sam didn’t condone what Gabriel had done, but he understood well enough what it was like to feel so responsible for someone like that. Gabriel already had more than enough regret for both of them. Sam knew he'd beaten himself up over it since the minute he told the truth. “He really is suffering.”

“Good.”

“Dean.” Sam protested. “It doesn’t change the fact Cas is still missing. We need to be sure he’s there before we charge in with all guns blazing.” He knew that was exactly what Dean would do if he was free, but Sam had never been a slave to his emotions. Trashing the joint on an off-chance wasn’t really his style. He left that sort of stuff to Dean. “I have an idea about how we can get in to check without this Crowley being suspicious. Gabriel obviously can’t walk up to the front door and I’m pretty sure they'll know who I am.” He hesitated. “You can’t do anything from here. I’m so sorry, Dean. I know you’re going stir crazy in here.”

Dean was still biting back the pain of being away from Castiel for so long. Sam could see his fingers curl up into his fists. His knuckles turned white.

“You don’t have to remind me how useless I am.”

“Hey, that’s not what I meant.” Sam replied defensively. It didn’t really matter what he said to try and keep his brother grounded. Dean was a tightly wound ball of fury just waiting to burst and Sam had no desire to be in the way when that happened. If Castiel was really abducted and abused by this man, Sam didn’t envy him being on the receiving end of Dean’s wrath when they released him. He better hope he had insurance.

“But that’s how I feel inside and there’s nothing you can say that can make that alright, Sam - so please just… stop trying.” Dean sighed again when he remembered the look in Castiel’s eyes as they took him away. “I let down the person I care about the most.” Sam tried not to take that one personally either. Dean was hopelessly in love and desperately scared for Castiel’s safety, so he let it go.

Sam didn’t have the heart to tell Dean it might already be too late to save him.

Α ✫ Ω 


	33. Chapter 33

Sam gave Dean the best smile he could, but his eyes had lost their hazel shine.

“You haven’t let him down.” Sam said at last. “Cas knows how much you care about him.” Dean didn’t reply. There was nothing he could say that would make any of it okay. Sam reached through a small gap between the bars and patted Dean’s hand in support. Dean was right - it was pointless for Sam to try and soften the blow of being locked in a cage like that. For an unmated alpha like Dean with anger management issues, there was probably nothing that could have tortured him more. Sam was determined to try and get him out. The only comfort Dean had was the hope maybe Castiel hadn’t deserted him after all. “You know, Gabe might have some contacts we could try. He sure seems to want to help.” Dean looked up. Something dark flashed behind his eyes.

“I don’t care. I don’t want anything from him, and if you say his name again I’m gonna be pissed.”

“Dean.” Sam attempted weakly. “You’re wrong about him.”

“No, I’m not.” Dean murmured quietly. His gaze dropped back to the floor. “He wanted me to stay away from Cas from day one.” He looked more sad than angry when he pulled away. “I’m not stupid, Sam.” Dean’s voice drifted across the empty space between them, resounding with a dull echo. “I know he thinks I’m not good enough for him.” He heard Sam sigh.

“That’s not true.” He tried again. “Besides, if he can get you out of here and help us find Cas, then what the hell is wrong with that?” Sam could see the spark of life in his brother slowly fading away with every painful minute that passed while he was separated from Castiel. “Don’t give up, Dean.” His brother ran a long tongue over the sharp points of his teeth as a distraction. He longed to sink them into the soft skin of Castiel’s neck. If he'd already taken him, they wouldn’t even be discussing this right now.

“It’s my fault.” He whispered. “All of it.”

“Dean.” Sam said gently. “How could any of this possibly be your fault? You were just looking out for him.”

“I wanted to wait 'til he was ready, Sam. He wasn’t ready.”

Dean started to pace the cell again. He was muttering to himself under his breath. Sam could only catch faint hints of what he was saying, but he knew Dean blamed himself for pushing Castiel into a heat and forcing his body to produce all those treacherous chemicals that should have helped to complete their bonding. Dean suddenly stopped when a door clanked open behind him. Sam knew he would have to leave Dean alone with his demons again. He didn’t need to say anything more. The helpless look in Dean's eyes told Sam just how much it hurt. He felt like he was betraying his brother to the loneliness chipping away at any fight he had left. Sam couldn’t even bring himself to look back over his shoulder when he returned to the officer waiting for him in the doorway. 

 Α ✫ Ω 

Crowley reluctantly steered Castiel into his office and gestured for him to sit down opposite. Castiel’s eyes scanned the same pictures that made Gabriel’s stomach twist with concern. They told him all he needed to know about the true nature of how Crowley managed to accumulate such a vast quantity of cash in the short time he'd been open for business. Castiel watched Crowley pick up his phone and dial a number from memory. He shifted restlessly in his seat with anticipation. Crowley’s expression changed when someone answered.

“It’s me.” He said vacantly. “I want the Winchester boy released.” Castiel’s heart started to beat with fresh hope, but he doubted it could really be that easy. Apparently, so did whoever was on the other end of the line. Crowley frowned. “I don’t care. Find a way and do the damn paperwork already. Don’t make me come down there.” He warned, suddenly glaring at Castiel. He was definitely becoming too much of a liability. “Drop all charges. Report back to me when it’s done, but under no circumstances are you to tell him why or give him any information about me.” Crowley hung up, pushing the chair away from his desk so he had enough space to make his way to the liquor cabinet. “There.” He said, pouring himself a large whisky with his back to Castiel. “Your precious mongrel is free.” Crowley turned to give Castiel a particularly cruel smile. “I don’t make deals I can’t keep.” Castiel felt the relief and joy soar through his blood, but Crowley was soon on him again. He was angry, and intended to take out his frustrations on the infuriating little omega who had caused him so much trouble. “Now go get dressed and do as you’re bloody told.” He shouted. He was so close, Castiel could smell the stale odour of alcohol on his breath when it blasted against his face. He felt his lip tremble, swallowing down another unexpected swell of nausea. Castiel was feeling the effects of the separation just as badly as Dean from the dark hole of Crowley’s basement. He remembered hazy snatches of a conversation with Sam that seemed so long ago now. He had no concept of the depths of despair and sickness that could come from not being able to fully mate with his pair-bond. It wasn't just a constant churning in his stomach anymore. There was a relentless irritation just under his skin. It made his whole body itch, and intense dehydration was starting to make his throat sore. At least Castiel knew Dean would soon be free to start the search to save him. He was desperately hoping his alpha would come for him before Crowley deemed him ready to serve up to his clients, but that hope was fading with time.

“Mr. Crowley? May I please have some water? I don’t feel well.” Castiel said quietly. He rubbed his hands down his arms in a subconscious attempt to eliminate any trace of the vile touch.

“What?” Crowley snapped impatiently. When he looked back at Castiel, he was surprised to see how pale he was. Strands of hair were sticking to his skin from a sudden burst of perspiration. Crowley tutted. “What’s the matter with you? You better not be sick.” He was already beginning to find Castiel far more annoying and demanding than he ever anticipated. He wanted him to shut up and get on with making money. Crowley tried to hide most of his displeasure at having to spend any time in his company at all, and the only reason he hadn’t called in a couple of his hired thugs to beat on him already was because he didn’t want him covered in bruises. It wasn’t good for business.

Castiel knew he couldn’t stall forever, and the threat of being lusted after by ‘horny alphas’ as Crowley so delicately put it, was ever present in the back of his mind. He only wanted Dean. Castiel didn’t think he was sick, but he certainly didn’t feel right. His belly was swollen and uncomfortable, even though he couldn’t remember the last time he ate. He deliberately pushed away the idea he might be coming into heat again. This felt different anyway, like something was happening inside him. It was new and unfamiliar, and it scared him. His heat only seemed to be so powerfully intense when he was around Dean and he hadn’t been with him for hours. Without his protection, the threat of another alpha taking a liking to him was almost too distressing to contemplate.

Crowley didn’t answer straight away. He stood up and opened the office door, waving his hand towards one of the dingy restrooms at the side of the corridor. Castiel took the hint and moved away down the passage. Crowley’s eyes bored into his back while he fumbled for the door handle. Castiel slipped inside and flicked on the light. There were two stalls set against the far wall and a sink with a cracked mirror above it in one corner. The fullness in his stomach reminded him he was desperate to relieve himself. It didn’t make him feel any better though, and after he'd taken a pee there was still something pulling at his insides and sending a sharp burst of pain into his groin. It suddenly had him doubled over and gasping for air. He spread one hand over his hips, rubbing hard to try and make it go away. Castiel could feel a surge of heat pushing up through his body like a fire was burning between his legs and flickering up into his stomach. He stumbled to the wash basin, leaning against it while he turned on the tap and splashed cold water over his face to try and dampen the warmth burning in his cheeks. Castiel greedily sucked a mouthful from his hand and stood up to look at himself. He pulled at the edge of his collar and smoothed one hand over his neck. He still looked pale save for two deep spots of flushed skin on the top of both cheekbones. The pain in his side returned. It felt like something was about to burst inside him. He steadied himself on the side of the sink. He heard the door creak open.

“Hurry up.” Crowley demanded, when his head appeared in the doorway. Castiel quickly turned off the tap and checked his complexion one last time. The exhausted image that stared back at him made his breath catch in his throat. This wasn't just the pull of an unfulfilled pair-bonding. Something strange was happening inside his body and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam reached for his phone as soon as he left the building. He sent an urgent text to Gabriel telling him to wait for him at the apartment for as long as it took him to get back there. He'd come up with a way that might help them infiltrate Crowley’s club and check Castiel really was there before they shared that revelation with Dean and unleashed a one-man army. Sam headed back across town and was soon standing once again in the entrance of dispatch. He felt like he'd spent most of the day flitting backwards and forwards from one place to another. His legs ached like hell.

“Couldn’t keep away, huh?” Jess asked through a wide smile, when she recognized the mess of shaggy brown hair as Sam approached the desk. He felt himself flush slightly, but he was too focused on what he came back for to pay it much attention.

“Something like that.” Sam quickly steadied himself on the counter. The idea had come to him out the blue when he was thinking about Castiel and how they needed someone to get into the club without being recognized. Now he was standing in front of her, he had no idea what to say. “Actually, I need to ask you something.” Sam ventured cautiously. “… and it’s a big ask.” Sam hoped she wouldn't turn him down flat out of principle alone. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea after all, but he was desperate. She looked more curious than anything else, so Sam took a deep breath and started to explain why he needed her help. “I don’t really know how to say this, so I’m just gonna come right out with it.” Sam didn't give her a chance to cut him off. “Castiel is missing.” Jess had worked with Castiel a long time, and even though they didn’t speak much she knew how vulnerable he was. Jess never let on she had taken quite a shine to him - he always seemed so lost. She tried to watch out for him and make sure he was okay in her own little way. The thought he might be in danger was unbearable. She suddenly remembered the last time she saw him. Looking back, he did seem more agitated than usual. It was the same night a very determined man had persuaded her to pass Castiel a note. They hadn’t been on the same shift since and she just presumed he was still off sick.

“Missing?” Jess gasped, slapping one hand to her mouth in alarm. “I thought it was odd when you came in earlier with your... friend?” She deliberately stressed the last word so it sounded like a question rather than a statement. She didn’t want to be presumptuous.

“Gabriel.”

“Yes. Castiel’s brother?”

Sam nodded.

“We’re getting really worried. It’s not like him. He’s usually so careful, and he doesn’t seem to be able to spend more than two minutes away from my brother without having a panic attack.” Sam said softly. He didn’t mean it as a criticism. 

“Oh, I see. I didn’t realize he had a… that he was seeing someone.” Jess dropped both arms back to her lap. “I’m sorry... ?”

Sam only just realized he never told Jess his name.

“It's Sam. Actually, I really need your help.” He added, wasting no more time on pleasantries. “You don’t know me, and I get that - but you know Cas, and I think he could be in some serious trouble.”

“Sam... of course.” Jess answered. “Just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do my best to help you find him. Poor Castiel, I hope he’s alright.”

“What time do you get off?” Sam asked. 

“Give me an hour.”

“I’ll wait.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam had filled Jess in with most of the details by the time they got back to the apartment. She wasn’t in the habit of going off with strange men, but there was something honest about Sam’s face. He certainly seemed sincere when he practically begged for her help in trying to get Castiel back to Dean. It made all the doubt and caution disappear. Gabriel was waiting for Sam by the window. He looked surprised to see him come in, thinking he must have missed him on the way up. Sam had given him the key before he went back to see Dean. Gabriel had spent most of the time just aimlessly staring down at the street below and willing Sam to return. His smile soon faded when he saw Sam wasn’t alone.

“What’s she doing here?” Gabriel asked, with a bit more force than he should have. 

“Gabe.” Sam chastised gently. It was rude, but he put it down to stress and over-tiredness. Sam couldn’t hold back a smile. He saw the faint hint of a pout developing when Gabriel looked Jess up and down. Sam went over to him and leaned in. “What’s the matter?” Sam made sure only Gabriel could hear him. “She’s here to help.”

“We hardly know her... what makes you think we can trust her?” Gabriel was glaring at Jess over Sam's shoulder, hostile waves of suspicion being sent in her direction through narrowed eyes. She was the last person Gabriel expected to see. There was something not quite right about it. He felt an unusual sensation vibrate behind his ribs but he had no idea what it was. It might have been a warning they had to be careful with how much they told her about Castiel, and it might not. Gabriel really couldn’t be sure of anything anymore. Everything he once believed in his heart about how the world worked had been turned upside down when he had seen Dean and Castiel together.

“I don’t know. I just do, and she wants to help us find Cas.” Sam answered patiently. “I thought maybe she could go to the club to see if he’s there and report back. I can’t go back to Dean empty-handed, Gabe. He’s falling apart.” Gabriel tried to ignore a rush of unease. Sam was probably right - if there was a way they could save Castiel, then he had to do everything he could to help. It might be their only shot, and that meant they had no choice but to take it.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean was sitting in his cell with his head still resting in his hands when he heard the distinctive metallic clink of a key being slotted into the lock. He looked up to see an officer standing over him.

“Get up, Winchester.” He commanded. “It’s your lucky day.”

Α ✫ Ω 


	34. Chapter 34

Gabriel was still feeling strangely uneasy about involving anyone else in their search for Castiel. He couldn’t figure out why he felt quite so irritated by the idea, but it was there anyway - fluttering inside his chest and making his heart pulse under his skin. He knew using Jess was probably the best way to get in to see what was going on in Crowley’s basement, but he didn’t like the fact Castiel’s fate would soon be in the hands of someone they didn’t really know and Sam was giving her far too much attention for his liking.

“So what exactly do you want me to do?” Jess asked softly. It briefly distracted Gabriel from his thoughts. Sam reached for a pen and paper. He started to sketch out the route for her in the hope she would agree to help. He couldn’t risk getting too close himself. “I mean, I know you said this Crowley guy might be keeping Castiel somewhere but I have to confess, I’m a little skeptical.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sam agreed, turning the paper round for her to look at. “I was too at first, but Gabe's pretty sure this man wanted him.” Sam gestured for Jess to look over the map while he tried to explain how important Castiel was to Dean, and why he would soon fall into a deep pit of darkness that would be almost impossible to crawl back from without him. “Cas and my brother are kind of linked somehow. We were doing some research on it when I got the message Dean had been arrested, and ever since then I haven’t had a minute to try and figure any of this out. Castiel is sort of special.”

“Sam!” Gabriel warned. Getting Jess to help with their would-be rescue mission was one thing, but he wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. He couldn't forget what happened the last time Castiel’s secret had been revealed to someone they didn’t really know. The guilt was overwhelming. Gabriel was doing his best to hide his depression from Sam, but he still felt terrible and nothing could make him feel any better until he was sure Castiel was safe. Jess looked at him in surprise. Gabriel's features were drawn tight, terrified Sam was going to say something he shouldn’t. Jess could see there was much more going on between them than the few scant fragments of information they actually bothered to share with her.

“Arrested?” Jess asked quietly. “For what?”

“Long story.” Sam replied, quickly changing the subject. He really didn’t have the time or inclination to relay the painful history of their life before it got to that point. “Never mind. We really should focus on finding Cas.” Sam encouraged. “Basically we just need you to check if he’s there, but don’t let anyone see you. If Crowley even suspects you two know each other, there’s no telling what he might do. We don’t want to put you in danger, as well.” Sam said, with a smile. He touched her arm to let her know how much he meant it. Gabriel swallowed down a mouthful of spit. It had accumulated at an impossible rate since he'd been standing so close to Sam. There was that annoying sensation in the pit of his stomach again, which he made a point of ignoring. He was probably just hungry. Sam glanced at him from the corner of one eye. He removed his arm. “If Castiel has been abducted, then we'll go straight to the police and let them deal with it, unless my brother gets there first.” Sam added nervously. His long hair dropped over his face when he leaned forward. The odds of Dean being able to control himself if he found out someone really had taken Castiel against his will were next to none, but he couldn’t do jack shit from inside a prison cell. Sam had no idea Castiel already sacrificed his own freedom so Dean could be released. Jess studied the map, tracing one edge of the paper with her finger. She could hear Gabriel breathing through the silence while they waited for her to make a decision.

“You just want me to go in and check, right? That’s all?” Jess asked. Sam could see she was worried about putting herself in a position like that. He wouldn’t ask her for any more than she was willing to give. Jess picked up the paper and folded it in half so it would fit in her pocket.

“I’ll do it, Sam.” She said decisively. Sam smiled with appreciation. “I’ll do it for Castiel.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Crowley demanded Castiel go back and change, with the threat he would be sending someone to collect him within the hour. The club doors would be open for business by then but only specially selected clients with kinks to satisfy were allowed in the basement rooms, and it wasn’t cheap. Crowley managed to secure immunity from the interference of certain members of the local force by using the combined strategies of bribery and blackmail. Castiel was oblivious to the fate awaiting him in the pens, but he did have one advantage - Crowley didn’t want him to be harmed. Physically at any rate. He cared little for the amount of less obvious damage some of his charges suffered at the hands of others. That's what therapy was for.

Crowley received the call to confirm Dean would soon be released while Castiel was in the rest room. Dean Winchester was no longer a threat to his plans to use that omega for his own dark purpose, but he was still reluctant to pass the information on. He didn’t want to give Castiel any hope. When he moved past him in the doorway, Crowley grabbed his arm.

“It’s done.” He said simply. Castiel tried not to let his emotions break through the stoic façade of his almost blank expression. “But let me tell you, boy - if you try to escape, I’ll just have Winchester arrested again and this time I'll make sure he never gets out. Deals have to be kept, don’t they?” His voice was superficially pleasant, but Castiel could sense there was a black heart beating beneath his chest. He didn’t want to give this man any reason to despise him more than he already did. He tearfully nodded. Crowley finally released his arm, leaving him alone with the belief he would have to stay there forever. Castiel hurried back to his room and closed the door behind him. He could hear the exchange of muffled voices outside. Castiel recognized the one belonging to his captor at once, and the other was familiar somehow but he couldn’t quite place it. He had apparently picked up the conversation part-way through. He could make out most of it.

“Exactly. I still don’t like that I can smell him from down the hall, little slut.” Crowley muttered, sniffing at the air. He screwed up his nose in distaste. “Find something for him to take. I would hate for someone to get their hands on him and make him their bitch before he’s outlived his usefulness. If we don’t make out he’s still available, he won’t be worth as much.” The chill sound of laughter went through Castiel’s heart like a dagger. “Maybe I can sell him on.”

Castiel felt his insides twist in distress. He was only just recovering from the burning discomfort that seared through him earlier and those words cut deep. Something was still throbbing inside him. The pain had tempered to a dull ache that was now spreading all the way across his stomach. He was still hot and short of breath but he forced himself to undress. He studied the curves of his body in the mirror. The room had seemingly been reserved for his arrival. He ran one hand over his stomach while he wondered just how long Crowley had known about him. He hadn't forgotten the cruel implication Gabriel had been involved somehow. That made him want to curl up on the bed and just wish the world away. Castiel presumed Crowley had planned to take him all along, but still refused to believe his brother would deliberately betray him to someone like that. He could feel the bitter sting of tears trying to rise up again, and he blinked through misty eyes. Castiel wasn’t going to give any of them the satisfaction of falling apart when he had willingly given his life for another. There was nothing he wouldn’t have done to save a free spirit like Dean from being locked up in a cage.

Castiel knew now why Crowley wanted him untouched. He already suspected as much from the way he made sure his neck didn’t bear the scars of an alpha claim. Now there could be no doubt. He was worth more without a mate. Part of him wished he had let Dean take him already. Dark thoughts faded away when he turned his attention back to the way his body seemed to have changed since he last saw himself naked. There was something different about the lines around his hips. He gasped in a breath when he turned to one side. His chest and stomach looked like they had filled out a bit, even though he'd eaten next to nothing for days.

Castiel didn’t know it yet, but the suppressants hadn't only masked his scent and stopped him from producing all those delicate omega pheromones. They also prevented his body from following his natural mating cycle. The pills had repressed most of it. Without them, everything he controlled for years was now drenching him with a deluge of chemicals that was so intense, it sent him plunging into a fever. Dean was always destined to knot and claim him as his own, so Castiel was at the mercy of a rush of physical changes. There was no hope of going back. His body was preparing for Dean to mate him, but he was still so far away and out of reach, it hurt.

The thought of ever being abused or raped instead by a ruthless alpha was the one reason he was always so determined to stay hidden away. Castiel remembered the moment he discovered how different he was. Even though he hadn’t realized it at the time, he was scared Dean might not want him anymore. He couldn’t have been more wrong. Dean was different, special. He made all the fear go away and replaced it with love and patience. Castiel missed him so much.

The dependency they shared took a savage blow when they were pulled apart. Castiel’s decline into misery was like an exposed wound that could only be healed when Dean mated him, filling him up until their pair-bond was complete. He reluctantly dressed in the tasteless outfit Crowley intended him to wear for his first appearance. There was no disputing that man was a dick, but he knew how to make money and he knew what people were willing to pay for. Castiel didn’t think he could bear any more humiliation, but as he stared at himself in the glass he had a horrible feeling Crowley was only just getting started. There couldn’t have been more than a couple of yards of material stitched together, leaving his pale unblemished skin exposed in all the wrong places. The sheer fabric clung to every line and angle of his body. It left almost nothing to the imagination. Castiel sank to his knees, resting one hand on the developing curve of his stomach and just sat there. Gazing in hopeless despair at his own reflection. He couldn’t even guess how long he'd been there before someone banged loudly on the door. It was completely pointless, because they walked in anyway.

“Ready, princess?” A familiar voice called out. Castiel turned to see Wade standing in the doorway. The nausea returned when Castiel felt his legs go weak beneath him. He couldn’t move. “Boss says you gotta eat before you go out there. You look like crap.” Wade added, shoving a bowl of something that looked like watery soup across the floor. The contents slopped over the edge and ran down the sides as it juddered to a stop. Castiel bowed his head.

“I can’t.” A sob caught in his throat. “Please, just leave me alone.” Wade prodded Castiel in the back and he fell forward, putting his hands out to stop himself from collapsing. “Why are you doing this to me?” Castiel forced himself to look into the eyes of the man who had deceived him and brought him to this terrible place. Castiel thought he saw a faint hint of sympathy gazing back.

“Listen - ” The sentence went unfinished, and Wade jumped back with a start. Someone was calling his name from down the hall. “Just do as he says.” He added quickly, helping Castiel to stand. “It’ll be easier if you just do as he says.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean lifted up his head and stared at the officer in disbelief. He thought at first he must have misheard, and instinctively looked over his shoulder like someone else might have suddenly materialized behind him. Dean realized he was suddenly being handed a tray with his clothes folded neatly in a pile. His wallet and keys had been set carefully in one corner. 

“Me?” Dean asked in astonishment, pointing his finger at himself just to make sure. The officer sighed.

“Unless you got anybody else in there with you called Winchester?”

The sarcasm was wasted on him. His mind was too consumed by many questions Dean knew would probably go unanswered. He had a string of charges on file already. He might not know as much as Sam about how the law worked, but he was fairly sure you didn’t resist arrest and just be sent on your way with a pat on the back. He struggled to stand. Hours of being cramped up in the same position in a cold cell hadn't been kind, and there was a numbness in his legs that made him feel like they could give way at any minute. Even that was nothing compared to the emotional pain that crippled him without Castiel. Dean cautiously stepped over to the door. Nothing in his life had ever been that easy. There was no way they were just going to let him walk out of there.

“What’s the catch?” He asked slowly, hovering over the threshold. He could almost taste the freedom. He didn’t get a reply, so Dean hurriedly changed and pocketed his wallet. He couldn’t open his cell phone fast enough. He desperately tried to turn it on but the battery was completely dead. He cursed under his breath, rewarded only with another sigh from the officer at his side. He tapped it a couple of times and willed the damn thing to spark back to life, but nothing happened. The only option was to return to the apartment and try to figure out why they had let him go but when he arrived there was no one there, and Castiel’s door was locked shut. He had missed them by minutes.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel was brought out and held just outside the main viewing area. There was no fight left in him to even try and resist when he felt someone pull his arms roughly behind his back. They tied his hands together with a length of silk cord. He could have easily slipped free from the bonds but it was all part of the show, and Crowley’s threat was still ringing in his ears. Castiel heard a hushed murmur ripple excitedly through the crowd when he was directed inside. Someone pulled him towards the centre of the room, and lifted him onto a low platform that had been set up just for him. It was only a matter of seconds before Castiel was surrounded on all sides. He screwed his eyes shut, holding his breath in a desperate attempt to block out the stench of alpha musk that filled him with dread. All the good Dean had done was slowly starting to unravel. Castiel sensed the familiar fears flood back.

“Dean!” Castiel was suddenly calling out his name, but no one could hear his broken cries. Hands grasped to touch him, soon batted away by security guards. Castiel felt like he was sinking down into nothingness, everything melting into noise and confusion. He didn’t know it then, but his suffering would soon be at an end. Dean was coming.

Α ✫ Ω 


	35. Chapter 35

Sam and Gabriel wasted no time in escorting Jess to the darker side of the city. They all waited nervously together on the corner of the street that marked the way to Crowley’s basement. Jess carefully pulled the map out of her pocket and studied it for a few seconds before Sam suddenly took it from her and scribbled his cell number in the corner. 

“Just in case.” Sam ventured. “I can’t tell you how much we both appreciate this. Thanks, Jess.” Sam looked to Gabriel for support when he handed the paper back to her. Gabriel just smiled. Jess pulled her coat a little tighter and prepared to set off up the road alone.

“It’s okay.” Jess tried to make it sound like sneaking deep into the heart of a rather disreputable establishment was something she did every other day, but Sam and Gabriel both knew she was only doing it for Castiel. They could see the hazy glare of blinking lights up ahead, advertising the range of attractions hidden away behind the locked doors.

Jess reached the entrance within a few minutes and managed to get past the doorman with a generous tip from Gabriel. She teamed the bribe with a flirtatious smile and slipped easily inside. The lower basement was strictly invitation only and Sam told her this Crowley was probably paranoid about protecting his more lucrative investments, so that part of the tour she was just going to have to take herself and hope she wasn’t spotted. Her heart was pounding hard, but the thought of someone as sweet as Castiel being held there by force in such horrible conditions made her feel cold. Jess waited quietly at the top of the stairs. She hardly dared move while she watched the constant stream of human traffic flow underneath her. She suspected many of the people who worked for Crowley had been deliberately plied with drugs or alcohol to keep them compliant. Some of them even had to be supported or carried into the main arena. Others were guarded closely by some of the many security officers Crowley employed to make sure no one even thought about giving him any trouble.

Jess could hear a lot of noise coming from one of the lower rooms where soft beams of red light and trails of smoke streamed out the open door. Jess had a sinking feeling she probably didn’t want to see what was happening inside, but there was still no sign of Castiel. She couldn’t go back to Sam with a clear conscience unless she checked every last inch of the building. Jess crept carefully down the steps and concealed herself in a dark space between the door and one of the longer corridors stretching back to the changing rooms.

Once her eyes grew accustomed to the dim light, she could just make out what appeared to be a large crowd surrounding somebody she couldn’t see. It almost sounded like people were bidding for it. Dollar bills were being held high above the jostling crowd and the smell of sex in the air made her feel sick with fear. There was a sudden break in the line of people and Jess almost passed out on the spot when she realized she had found what she was looking for. Castiel was being paraded around in front of men who were leering at him and inhaling his scent when he passed them by. He looked completely broken.

Jess wanted to weep for him. She quickly made her way back to the first floor. She had to call Sam at once and tell him Castiel was there, and in serious trouble. Her hands were shaking as Jess unfolded the map and squinted to read the number Sam had hurriedly scribbled in the top corner. She covered her mouth with her hand to muffle her voice while she waited for Sam to pick up. Jess knew she wasn’t supposed to be there and had just seen for herself how ruthless Crowley was. If he was prepared to let another human being suffer like that, then she would have little chance of trying to convince him to let her go either.

Sam answered the phone almost immediately. He knew at once from the concern in her voice their suspicions had been right all along. Gabriel’s face crumpled when Sam told him the news. Jess hadn’t really given them many details, but it was clear Castiel wasn't there willingly and was being treated like he was just a commodity on sale to the highest bidder. Sam thanked Jess a hundred times over, and told her to get the hell out of there as soon as she could and meet them outside. Gabriel was cursing himself the whole way. Sam felt so sorry for him. Both of them were trying to ignore the fact they might already be too late to save Castiel from being raped, and Sam knew it was Gabriel’s worst fear for his little brother. Everything Gabriel had done over the years had been to try and prevent the very thing he may have inadvertently helped to bring about. Sam slipped one arm around his shoulders and gave him a comforting squeeze.

“It’s not your fault, Gabe. You couldn’t have known.” Sam said kindly. He started to pull away but Gabriel was already leaning heavily against his side, and Sam didn’t have the heart to push him away.

“What are we going to do?” Gabriel whimpered. Sam stroked his arm. “We have to get him out of there.”

“We’ll call the police. Whatever's going on in there is definitely illegal - they’ll have to do something.” Sam said confidently. Gabriel didn’t seem quite so sure.

“Sam. He _is_ the law. Why do you think he’s got away with this for so long already? They won’t do anything. All that's gonna do is piss him off and he might take it out on Castiel.” Gabriel sighed, letting Sam pull him even closer. “I can’t even think about what they’re doing to him in there.” Sam tried to come up with a viable alternative. He knew Dean would be able to do something but as far as Sam knew, he was still locked up. As if on cue, Sam's phone suddenly vibrated in his hand. The blue glow lit up his features. He looked confused, wondering how someone had possibly got hold of his brother’s spare cell. His whole body relaxed when Dean’s voice came through the speaker. He sounded desperate and there was no time for explanations. His only thought was to ask about Castiel, and if Sam had any luck in locating him. Sam couldn’t lie to him. He told his brother everything regardless of the consequences, but begged Dean not to do anything alone. Sam asked Dean to meet them on the corner where they were still waiting for Jess to return.

Dean didn’t hear it. The only sentence that even registered in his head was where Castiel was and that someone had deliberately taken his baby away from him. Nothing else mattered, and he made it to the entrance of Crowley’s office in record time. Dean threw himself down the steps and started banging on the basement door. He was frantically shouting Castiel’s name, over and over. The frustration was building as more time passed and he was still stuck outside, knowing Castiel was waiting for Dean to save him on the other side. Everything quickly reached the point of being unbearable. Something violent twisted inside him. The need to be with Castiel again.

The commotion served to bring someone to the door to find out exactly what was going on. One of Crowley’s men slid back the viewing hatch to peer out into the darkness. He seemed surprised to see a man standing outside with a wild look in his eyes. Spit was gleaming on the sharp points of alpha teeth when Dean curled up his lip in anger.

“I’m coming in, and you’re not going to stop me.” Dean told him, with so much determination, the man knew it wasn't a request. The door was still barred shut, and this man looked like he was going to be trouble. Dean lunged forward and started to throw his body against the door. He was making so much noise, it soon alerted Crowley to his presence and he sent Wade to investigate. Wade already watched the disturbing scene unfold earlier. Seen the sadness in Castiel’s eyes when he was offered up like a piece of meat. It made him cringe inside. If he'd only known what Crowley’s true intentions were, he never would have agreed to trick Castiel in the first place.

Dean was preparing to strike again, when he suddenly felt someone grab his shoulders. Two men tried to pull him back and threw him to the ground. He was still on all fours when he launched himself forward and knocked their legs out from under them with a brutal aim. Dean was on top of his two attackers before they realized what hit them. He pounded his fists into them, one after another until they were both lying bloody and unconscious. Dean trampled across them and headed back up the steps to run round to the other entrance, a desperate fire burning in his chest. He would have done anything to get inside and save Castiel from the torment of them being kept apart but someone had anticipated his next move and was waiting for him in the doorway.

“Dean Winchester.” Crowley somehow managed to make it sound like his name left a dirty taste in his mouth. He made no attempt to step out from the shelter of his dark domain or to let this alpha get any closer without a fight. Dean was hopelessly outnumbered and already out of breath, but his will was much stronger than Crowley gave him credit for. There was no way he was leaving without Castiel. “I would like to say it’s a pleasant surprise but… well.” Crowley forced a bitter laugh. “I would be lying.”

“Who the _fuck_ are you?” Dean ground out between clenched teeth. He readied himself in case he needed to take this asshole out as well. “I want Cas. Where is he?”

“You didn’t get the message?” Crowley asked, with a patronizing smile. He didn’t wait for a response. Dean was staring daggers at him, barely holding onto the small remnant of self-control that was buried somewhere inside him. “Castiel doesn’t want you.” Crowley dismissed him. Dean knew it was a cruel lie, but it still turned his stomach.

“I don’t believe you.” Dean answered quietly. His shoulders dropped. Deep insecurity making him question it anyway. He could hardly speak at all through the unbearable pain that felt like his heart was breaking in his chest. Hope almost faded away completely at the thought of losing Castiel forever. He steadied himself against the wall, gasping in short and painful breaths of stale air. He hung his head, trying to chase away the horrible feeling of dizziness that threatened to floor him completely. He never felt so scared. Dean absolutely refused to move away from the door until he'd seen Castiel and made sure he was safe. Every instinct still wanted to protect his omega from everything that threatened him. If that was a decision he made freely, then Dean loved him enough to respect it. He thought Castiel wanted to be with him, and Dean was sure he hadn't mistaken that look in his eyes when they were together, but he had always been a slave to doubt and this was no different. Nothing in the world was more important to him than Castiel’s happiness, and if that was what he wanted, then he needed Castiel to say it. Dean stared Crowley dead in the eye.

“I want to hear that from him. I’m not leaving until I hear it from him.”

Dean saw Crowley’s cheek twitch. His hand had now been forced by Dean’s arrival, and he was going to take the opportunity to make certain he got rid of this potential threat once and for all. Crowley knew if Dean got one chance to claim Castiel, he would be lost. He wasn't prepared to let that happen after all the trouble he'd gone to in order to make sure that valuable omega could never escape.

“Wait here.” Crowley commanded, slamming the door in his face. Dean was nervously pacing backwards and forwards again. It seemed like an eternity passed before he heard it open back up so Castiel could be brought out.

Dean stopped breathing when he saw him. He could smell his mate before he made it down the steps, and it made Dean’s knot pulse. He inhaled like that scent was made to fit inside him. Dean was pulled towards him, unable to control the barrage of hormones catapulting through his body, but something was wrong. Crowley was standing behind Castiel with one finger trained in the centre of his back to remind him what to say. He kept repeating the threat that one wrong move would send Dean back to jail, and this time he would make sure they had enough on him to keep him there for a very long time.

“Dean.” Castiel whispered his name like a prayer when he looked into the eyes of the man he was destined to be with. Swollen tears welled up. Castiel just wanted to throw himself into Dean's arms and kiss his lips, but he was so scared. Having to lie to Dean made him feel sick and he hated himself for doing it, but a lifetime of slavery was nothing to him if it meant the man he loved would be safe.

Castiel hesitated, so Crowley jabbed him hard in the back and he stumbled forward. The suffering was right there in every deep line that marked Dean's face. He looked so desperate, Castiel just wanted to reach out and touch him, but he was being held back on both sides. Crowley wasn't taking any chances.

“I want to stay.” Castiel gasped out. The grip on his throat was paralyzing when he forced out the lie.

“Cas?” Dean's whole body started to shake. The pain was indescribable. “You don’t mean that... tell me you don’t mean that. Please, Cas.”

Crowley let his arm fall.

“There. You have your answer - dog.” Crowley jeered, basking in Dean’s misery. “Now go away and don’t ever come back.”

Dean staggered back down the steps with his eyes fixed on every beautiful feature of Castiel’s face. He wanted to lock it inside his memory forever. There was nothing left for him now. Total despair started to overwhelm every raw sense that had been laid bare when those words tumbled from Castiel’s mouth and broke his heart. Dean allowed himself just one last lingering glance. When their eyes met, he saw Castiel mouth a silent plea.

“Help me.”

Everything stopped. A blinding sensation rushed through Dean with such an intensely protective desire, he felt every muscle in his body tense. He could see the sudden hope in Castiel’s face, the soft murmur of his lips when they begged for Dean to free him from the horror he was trapped in. Castiel was pleading with his eyes for his love to save him, and it sent every possessive alpha hormone still lying dormant in Dean's blood soaring free. He knew now Castiel must have been forced to spit out such a vicious lie. He spun round with a menacing growl, and prepared to go back for him. Dean dipped his head, readying himself to charge, but one of the men who was shielding Castiel must have seen the feral shine in his eyes when he started to sprint back towards the door, and started to push it closed. Dean flung his body forward with such driving urgency, he was almost on them in a few seconds. It caught him off-guard, and Dean was stopped dead in his tracks when his shoulder collided with it. The force knocked him back a couple of paces, but he wasn't going to be put off so easily and he kicked hard against the door. It splintered down the centre with an ominous crack. Dean was relentless as he threw himself forward. Again, and again until the whole thing eventually gave way to reveal even more of Crowley’s security guards blocking the entrance and trying to prevent Dean from getting past.

Canine senses were drawn to a keen point while they focused only on tracking Castiel. Dean sniffed at the air so he could follow the scent of his mate. He could almost taste the same beautifully familiar hint of vanilla that was all Castiel, but there was also underlying fear and despair that had crept in by being held against his will like that. It sent Dean over the edge of anger and into blind fury. His eyes scanned the dark corners. Clients scattered from the path of his indiscriminate rage until he found himself standing alone in the middle of the room with his arms hanging by his sides. His fists were tightly clenched, ready to exact revenge upon anyone who had some part in Castiel’s abduction.

Castiel was being pulled away, and Dean could see Wade was trying to shield him from the devastation. Dean ran to him, instinctively throwing a punch right between his ribs. Wade reeled back and slumped against the wall in pain.

“Take him, Winchester.” Wade gasped breathlessly, holding his fist to his chest where Dean had knocked all the air out of him. “He doesn’t belong here.” Dean was now in full-on alpha mode, and there was nothing that could stop the violence from breaking free. “It’s him.” Wade added, pointing a trembling hand at Crowley. “He’s the one you want.”

It felt like everything was flowing in slow motion for Crowley when he watched Dean suddenly turn and make straight for him, sharp teeth exposed. He tried to run, but Dean was already on him. His fist collided hard with Crowley’s face. There was a sickening crack of shattered cartilage when his nose splattered against his cheek. Dean wrestled him to the ground and pounded him relentlessly with well-aimed blows until Crowley’s face was nothing more than a bloodied pulp. Dean wrapped his hands around his neck and held his battered body to the floor by straddling him, keeping Crowley pinned on his back. He leaned in close.

“You took my baby.” Dean wanted Crowley to understand just how much that pissed him off. “Now I’m taking him back.” Dean pushed himself up, dragging a semi-conscious Crowley across the floor by his feet. Dean yanked him into one of the pens, lifting him up by his throat until he was high enough to be able to reach for a rope hanging down from the ceiling. Dean strung him up and just left him dangling there. He couldn’t resist one last punch to the side of an already fractured jaw. It felt good. Most of the clients had already fled in terror as soon as Dean started trashing the place, and Crowley’s loyal security were apparently not quite so loyal after all when faced with the wrath of an unmated alpha on a rescue mission. The others were just doped-up hollow shells of the people they had once been before Crowley discovered them. Dean let the pen door swing open. He offered Crowley up for some poetic justice. “He’s all yours.”

Dean jumped down and pelted back to get Castiel. Crowley’s screams were echoing off the walls when the crowd descended upon him. Vengeful hands pulling at him, ripping his clothes from his body in a relentless assault that had no mercy.

Castiel was now being hauled away down a corridor. Dean was still running when he reached him, bending down to thread his arms behind Castiel’s knees. He lifted him clear of the ground, kicking at the man who dared to touch him. He felt Castiel go limp in the shelter of his embrace. Dean pulled him so close, he could feel the faint beat of his heart against his skin. It was wonderful. He slipped his fingers through the damp strands of Castiel’s hair while he cradled his head to his chest and stroked one thumb along the length of his back. His gentle touch soothing all the doubt and fear away.

“I got you. I got you, baby.” Dean breathed against his cheek, covering his soft skin with desperate kisses. Castiel couldn’t speak. There were no words to explain the feeling of soaking in euphoric bliss now he was back in Dean’s arms. There was only one thought consuming all his senses when he leaned into his alpha. Castiel closed his eyes and let peace take him.

He was home.

Α ✫ Ω 


	36. Chapter 36

Fierce eyes cut through the darkness while Dean searched for a clear path that would take him outside, and get his mate to safety. Castiel lovingly nuzzled his head against his chest, showing Dean just how much he believed in that promise. Castiel clutched his fingers into Dean’s shirt, breathing in the beautiful scent of his alpha's protection.

“Hold on.” Dean hushed him with another soft kiss, wrapping one arm even tighter around his back so he could hitch Castiel up and make sure he wouldn’t slip. “I’m not gonna let you go - ever. Never again, Cas. I swear.”

Dean’s heart was beating so fast, his pulse throbbed against Castiel’s body and caused a shiver to flow right through him. It was so intense, Castiel finally opened his eyes. Looking up in to Dean’s face, he felt the ache inside him just fade away. Dean’s cheeks were still flushed. The potent smell of his anger so strong, it almost masked everything else. Dean made his way through the last of what was left of Crowley’s men. The ground was littered with broken glass, and Dean had to pick his way through the destruction so he didn’t risk a fall. He had no intention of setting Castiel down again until he was sure they were free, but the floor looked like an obstacle course and he had to make sure no one would follow them. Dean backed up towards the exit, feeling his way with his feet. He never once let his grip on Castiel falter. Every time he stumbled, he would just steady himself and whisper breathless promises against Castiel's cheek to calm him.

Dean managed to pick his way through the wreckage, and get to the door. Crowley was going to be out of action for a while, but there were others like him and Dean was just as desperate to get out of the basement as Castiel was. The cool burst of fresh air against the back of his neck meant they were almost free, and Dean allowed himself a minute to see if Castiel was alright. He was so intent on getting him out, he hadn’t actually stopped to examine him or to try and explain why he hadn’t been able to come for him sooner. Dean felt unbearably guilty when he ran his eyes down the length of Castiel’s body. It filled him with dismay. The silky shift Crowley made him wear had been tight and almost transparent earlier, but now it was clinging to his clammy skin and Dean swallowed hard when he realized absolutely everything was visible. Dean struggled to discard his jacket, vigorously shaking one arm until the whole thing slipped from his shoulders. He held the collar in his teeth while he moved it carefully over Castiel’s body to cover him. Dean could feel his stomach turn again when he quickly scanned Castiel’s neck for a bite.

The thought someone might have taken his virtue while Dean had been locked up was more than he could deal with, but he couldn’t see a mark. Dean hurried outside to see Gabriel running up the street and waving frantically at them. Dean signalled for him to stop the nearest cab. Gabriel was quick to hail one, and it pulled up beside him on the pavement. Dean bundled Castiel inside before climbing in next to him. He quickly pulled him into his lap. His eyes darted behind Gabriel’s shoulder.

“Where’s Sam?” Dean asked urgently. Gabriel pointed down the street.

“He’s waiting for Jess.” He said quietly. Dean frowned at him. He had no idea who that even was, but he couldn’t care right now. Castiel needed him more than ever. He stirred in his arms. Castiel's head was still resting on Dean’s chest, his body pale and listless. Dean was scared he would never be the same. The shock was starting to set in. Gabriel leaned in and gently touched his brother’s arm.

“Is he alright?”

Something about the way he said it set Dean off again, and he violently pushed his hand away. When Gabriel saw the state of his brother, he could have cried. Dean didn’t want to talk to him after what Sam told him. All he cared about was getting Castiel back to the apartment and into a warm bed.

“Does he fucking look alright?” Dean snapped. Gabriel knew he was going to have a lot more explaining to do.

“I’ll find Sam. Just take Castiel home and we’ll meet you there.” 

Dean didn’t reply. He just reached over and pulled the cab door closed. It sped off up the street leaving Gabriel in the wake of Dean’s anger with no idea how he could atone for any of it.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean carefully opened the apartment door, still holding his jacket over Castiel’s body to try and protect whatever shred of modesty he had left. He deliberately averted his eyes. Dean didn’t even want to think about what he had to endure in that basement, and he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to know. Someone so beautiful didn’t deserve a fate like that.

He switched on the light with the tip of his nose, and carried Castiel through to his room. Dean carefully laid him on his bed, gently lifting Castiel's head to push a pillow under it. He was starting to shake with cold, and he hadn’t said more than a couple of words in answer to anything Dean asked him on the way back. He needed to get him warmed up. Dean carefully removed what he was forced to wear at the club and discarded it with the disgust it deserved. His skin was sticky, pulse weak. Dean checked Castiel’s neck again when another groundless wave of panic clawed at his insecurity. He was satisfied his omega was still unmated. Dean cuddled up to him on top of the bed, so determined to stay close to Castiel it was a miracle he hadn’t suffocated him already.

Dean wasn’t sure if Castiel got sick from being away from him. He ran his hands reverently over every part of skin he could reach. Castiel was so quiet, Dean had to keep checking to make sure he hadn’t fallen asleep again and gently turned his body so he would be able to slide him into bed properly. He noticed the subtle change in his shape. Dean wasn’t really sure what it meant, but he remembered what Sam told him. Dean thought about the last time they were together when Castiel admitted he was scared of being a disappointment. He let his eyes wander down his omega’s body. He wanted Castiel to know he would wait for him. However long it took. There were no words to explain how it felt to have him back. Dean would have done anything to save him. 

Castiel slipped in and out of sleep or consciousness for the best part of an hour. Dean just sat patiently by his side so Castiel knew he didn't have to be alone. Dean held his hand and stroked calming fingers through his hair. The peaceful quiet only disturbed when Sam and Gabriel returned. They both knew it wasn’t over.

“We’re going to have to leave, Dean.” Sam burst out. They met in the bedroom doorway. There were always consequences to Dean’s outbursts. Sam had spent a sorry lifetime chasing after him, packing up their stuff and moving on when he let the anger consume him again. This was different. It used to be sexual frustration and misplaced disappointment, but now Dean had found Castiel, he was even more unpredictable. The constant threat of losing him was taking over every alpha instinct. Sam knew if Dean didn’t claim Castiel soon, he was going to shatter. Then nothing would be able to hold him back. Destroying a room was one thing, but Sam was now convinced there was nothing Dean wouldn't do to protect Castiel, and that was a dangerous place to be.

“No. I’m not leaving Cas.” 

“Dean.” Gabriel warned. He had already shown where his loyalty lay when he helped Sam, but Crowley knew him personally. It would be easy to find him and make him pay for his betrayal. Gabriel had first-hand knowledge of how much power Crowley had. He cringed when Dean told him he would probably be eating his meals through a straw for a while. They couldn’t stay. Gabriel never intended to be away from home for so long anyway, but having his own business had advantages. He could take an extended leave of absence whenever he wanted, but it couldn’t last forever. “I knew you wouldn't.” Gabriel replied. He already decided he would never attempt to separate them again, and he didn’t really want to try. “I’m not saying you should leave him, but we can’t stay here. You almost killed a man tonight.”

“He deserved it after what he did to my Cas. I should have finished the job.”

“You don’t want a man’s life on your conscience, no matter how much of a dick he is.” Sam sighed. “Besides - I don’t really want to leave, Dean.” He was so tired of running and now he thought he might have something to stay for. “I have my reasons.” Gabriel’s eyes flicked up. He knew what Sam meant, but he couldn’t bring himself to think about it. He was still trying to identify what it was exactly that kept making his insides twist whenever he saw Sam and Jess together.

“You mean that girl.” Gabriel managed at last. Dean was too wrapped up in Castiel to even notice the look that passed between them.

“I don’t know what I mean.” Sam said thoughtfully. Gabriel blinked. “She might like me an’ all, but there’s no way she’d give up a job and a home for someone she hardly knows on the off-chance there’s something there.”

“You don’t know that.” Gabriel added, forcing a smile even though he felt sick. He wanted to say something more, but all that came out was “Ask her.”

Castiel cried out in his sleep, restlessly shifting onto his side without even opening his eyes.

“Fuck, he’s jumpy.” Dean ran one hand through his hair, still not sure how he stopped himself from losing it completely. The relief he had Castiel near him again caused every muscle in his body to relax. He felt like he could sleep for a week straight, but he didn’t want to close his eyes. Castiel had been taken from him so easily. It was the only thing he could think about. Sam could see he was close to collapse. He was no good to anyone if he could hardly stand up. “I don’t think he should go home.” Dean whispered.

“He’s gonna need some time to recover. Stay here with him, Dean.” Sam suggested.

“What’s the matter with him?” Dean asked quietly, his eyes drifting straight back to Castiel. He could see the curves of his body under the sheet. Knowing he was butt-naked didn't really help calm Dean’s desire to lay close to him. He was torn between leaving him to rest and slipping in next to him. Wrapping him up in the warm comfort of a powerful embrace. Dean was so desperate to claim him.

“He’s in shock.”

Dean nodded, but he didn’t really know what he could do to help him. 

“I don’t even want to think about what might have happened if I hadn’t got to him. You don’t know how bad I feel. It’s all my fault, Sam.”

Sam didn’t bother saying anything back. There was no way any of this was Dean's fault, but there was no point in repeating the same argument. That was just how Dean felt, and only Castiel could help him to be free of that guilt with time. Whatever Sam had to say would have been a waste of breath. Sam eventually dragged Gabriel away. A subtle hint they should leave them alone for a while. He knew Dean was probably the best person to help Castiel come back from the darkness and be able to trust again. Sam suggested they should both spend the night in the other apartment so Castiel could have some privacy.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel stirred next to Dean's side. Every little breath he took was like a spark of joy to fill his heart. The ache inside him that burned like a fire when they were apart was slowly fading, morphing into a dangerously compulsive desire to do everything he could to persuade Castiel to let Dean bite him. No one would dare try to take him away again.

Castiel was fighting familiar nightmares, playing in his head while he slept. Dean sat close to him, hushing Castiel through the unseen torment. He couldn’t resist the temptation any longer, and climbed in beside him. Castiel was clinging to his alpha before Dean got settled. His reaction was intense, shivering body suddenly producing so much slick, Dean was soon growling into the back of his neck and grinding his hips against him. He buried his face in Castiel’s hair, inhaling as much scent as he could without waking him. Dean could feel his dick harden as soon as their bodies touched and Castiel moaned in his sleep while oil dripped from his body and soaked into the sheet beneath them.

Dean’s hormones already pushed Castiel close to another heat just before Crowley had taken him. Now there was nothing to suppress it, and the physical need to be knotted was beyond his control. Dean breathed him in, daring to caress his ass with searching fingers and wrapping one leg over damp thighs. Castiel instinctively pushed back against him. The sensation of Dean’s rigid erection pressing against so much sensitive skin stirred him from sleep. When he turned around, their noses were almost touching. Dean smiled at him through the darkness.

“Hey.”

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean bathed in the warmth of his voice. It felt like a lifetime since he heard that sweet sound. 

“You know, I thought I’d lost you back there.” He whispered against his lips. Castiel slid his arms around Dean’s waist, tilting his face up to kiss him.

“I thought you had, too.” 

Dean knew just how close he had come to having the only mate he ever wanted ripped from his arms forever. He wasn’t going to waste another minute of his life on doubt. Dean had to let Castiel know exactly how he felt about him - consequences be damned. He had nearly lost him once, and that was something Dean would never risk again. He reached out to take Castiel’s hands in his own, and rubbed them affectionately against his cheek.

“I only want to make you happy, Cas. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” Dean had seen the fear in Castiel’s eyes when he plucked him from the fray and lifted him into his arms. His cynophobia would return with a vengeance if Dean didn’t pull him out of it now. Castiel was leaning into him. 

“I was so scared.” He whispered. “I just feel dirty and tainted now. Like I’m not good enough anymore.”

“Hey.” Dean said forcefully. He kissed the top of Castiel's head. “It’s not your fault... no one touched you, did they?” Castiel shook his head. It was still resting in the dip of Dean’s shoulder. He heard a sigh of relief.

“Are you sure you still want me?” Castiel mumbled the words against him. He just needed to hear it.

“Cas.” Dean said, staring back into those beautiful depths of blue. Dean never thought Castiel would ever doubt that. “I love you.”

Castiel’s expression was something Dean would never forget. His eyes were shining when he took in those three precious words and locked them in his heart forever. They fluttered shut when he breathed his name against soft lips. Dean gave in to the urge to lick inside Castiel’s mouth, drawing the very breath from his lungs with the force of a kiss he waited so long to take. Dean wrapped one arm around his back and pulled him deliciously close.

Castiel was panting when Dean drew away, but he hardly had time to catch his breath before his alpha moved in again. His hands were everywhere. Frantic, desperate touches sweeping across his skin, and up to the curve of his neck. Dean rubbed his fingertips over the rapid pulse of Castiel’s heartbeat to let him know just how much he wanted to bite him. Dean eased him onto his back, quickly moving on top and pinning him down while he slid one hand beneath his ass. He dipped the ends of his fingers into the slick that was begging for Dean to mate him and seal their bond forever. He would always have this strong, fierce alpha to protect and care for him. Everything Castiel had held onto for so many years was suddenly washed away. None of it mattered anymore.

He was ready to let Dean claim him.

Α ✫ Ω 


	37. Chapter 37

Castiel was more responsive to his touches than ever before when Dean carefully rubbed the underside of his thumb in small gentle circles until Castiel was arching his back. Pushing his hips up against Dean’s hand to try and guide him lower.

“Of course I still want you, Cas.” Dean reassured him. “You’ll always be beautiful to me.”

Castiel believed with all his heart Dean would never lie to him. He was here, and he was warm and gentle, and tender and a million other things in between. Dean had finally told Castiel he loved him, and now everything felt so different. His intoxicating presence and seductive touch made all those dreadful memories of lustful alphas start to fade away into insignificance. Dean slid his hand down Castiel's thighs, gently easing them apart so he could settle between his hips and rut against him. The rush of desperate need Castiel always felt when Dean leaned in to kiss him was still there, but now there was a stronger desire. He longed to just lay back and let Dean take him. His body wanted it so badly it ached, and he heard himself moan when Dean massaged eager fingertips into the slick on the inside of Castiel’s thighs. An uncontrollable release of oil that would help Dean enter him more easily. It used to make him ashamed, but now all Castiel wanted was to feel his alpha inside him.

“Dean.” Castiel murmured seductively. Dean caressed him. “I want you to bite me.”

Castiel heard Dean swallow hard. He thought they might make out a bit if he was lucky, but that was something he never expected to hear after everything that happened.

“Cas... you sure?” Dean asked hesitantly. His heart was thudding in his chest, another violent pulse of arousal stirring in his groin. 

“I’m sure.” Castiel answered, pushing his hips up again. “I realized how close I came back there, and if I’m going to be mated by anyone - I want it to be you. It’s always been you.” He smiled.

That sweet androgynous scent Dean sensed on him once before was now drifting up from between his legs and sending Dean rushing to the point of losing control. He was so close to flipping Castiel over onto his stomach and taking him right there, but he couldn’t do that to someone he loved so much. Every breath felt like syrup dripping down his throat and satisfying him like nothing else ever could. He wanted to taste it.

Dean kissed him again when lust swamped his body, pushing his tongue roughly between Castiel’s lips when he grabbed him by the hips. Castiel opened his mouth wide to suck the tip of Dean’s tongue inside. He let Dean edge him up the bed so he could get to his neck, and covered as much of it as he could with his mouth, nipping at Castiel’s skin with the unspoken promise of what was to come. It took almost everything he had not to sink them into his shoulder right there. He settled for a light grazing and a tentative lick against his pulse. The feeling of Dean’s teeth on his throat made Castiel writhe beneath him. Dean managed to move him over a little more so Castiel could drop onto his stomach. The bed dipped with his body. Dean was behind him in an instant, one hand either side of his ass to hold him in position. All Castiel’s natural impulses were suddenly desperate to be set free, driven by pure instinct when he lifted up his hips so he could present himself to Dean. Show him how much he wanted to be claimed. Dean was stunned he would do that for him. Such a typical omega gesture was something he never expected from Castiel, but it was wonderful. He took it willingly. His inherent alpha responded straight away, digging his fingers into Castiel's thighs and pulling his ass up. Dean dipped his head low enough to show Castiel he accepted his submission. He could smell the honeyed slick drifting up and filling him with desire. Dean closed his eyes, trying a cautious lick at the nectar flowing out of Castiel's body. He dipped the tip of a searching tongue along the gap between his legs, moaning with pleasure while he moved higher. Castiel shuddered when Dean's tongue slipped into the tight hole. He sucked the slick into his mouth until Castiel was trembling. He was already desperate for his alpha to bite him, but Dean was only just getting started. He had waited so long for that moment, he was going to make good on a promise he once made to himself. Dean wasn’t just going to mate this beautiful omega, he was going to make love to him.

Dean worked on opening Castiel up with gentle flicks of his tongue, sliding one hand underneath his body so he could pump his cock and make him ready to come before Dean knotted him. He wished he could make those moments last forever. They were going to have a lifetime together, and Dean intended to make the most of every second. Castiel gasped when searching fingers tightened around him. His little cock grew pert in Dean’s hand. Castiel was close after a few hard jerks, and Dean knew how aroused he was by the fresh burst of wet slick that splattered over his cheeks and drew another moan from his lips.

“Turn over, baby.” Dean whispered, pulling Castiel’s legs out from underneath him and manhandling him onto his back. He eased Castiel up by his shoulders until he was nestled between Dean’s knees. He took one of Castiel's hands and guided it towards his jeans. Castiel let Dean manipulate his fingers, dragging his hand lower until he was tugging on the zipper. Dean encouraged Castiel to pull it down and free his erection so Castiel could touch him. He was shaking when it slid open and fumbled to reach inside. He blinked nervously when he felt the warmth of Dean’s dick and carefully slipped it out, gazing down at him with what Dean would liked to have called awe, but was probably more like panic. Castiel had been amazed when he saw Dean in all his glory in the shower, but now it was fully hard and throbbing it looked even bigger than he remembered. It made him weak with anticipation. That was going to hurt. Dean rested it in his palm and touched their fingertips together.

“Dean.” Castiel gasped. He was staring at the thick cock in Dean’s hand like it was going to bite him. “I don’t think I can take that.”

“Cas.” Dean said quietly. He smiled, but there was so much disappointment in his eyes, it made Castiel’s heart ache for him. “If you want to stop, it’s okay. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to.” Dean stroked one finger lovingly down Castiel’s cheek to show how much he meant it. He cupped Castiel’s face in his hand, tenderly rubbing one thumb across his skin.

“No - I want to.” Castiel said, covering Dean’s hand where it was resting against his face. “I really do.” Dean leaned in and kissed him again. 

“I’ll be careful, I promise.” Castiel had no idea what was happening inside his body while Dean prepared to claim him. The vasopressins now flowing through his blood at an impossible rate were only ever destined to respond to one alpha. Dean was his true mate, his pair-bond, and the only man who was ever meant to take him. Dean wrapped his fingers around Castiel’s and moved their hands together over his erection. Castiel watched the slide of Dean’s cock slip effortlessly through his fingers, holding his breath when Dean started to piston his hips into Castiel's fist until a warning tingle started to course along the length of his dick. It forced him to tip his head back and close his eyes. The moans of pleasure falling from his lips made Castiel want to submit to him completely. Castiel could feel the base of a knot start to grow between his fingers and it pulsed with need while he tugged at it. Dean let out a muffled cry and quickly grabbed Castiel’s wrist to stop himself from coming. “Stop, Cas.” Dean begged, through a breathless gasp. “Stop a minute.”

Dean inhaled some steady breaths and gripped his dick hard at the base until he could sense it stop swelling. He would be damned if he was going to satisfy himself first. Castiel quickly helped Dean to strip off, taking a moment to admire the lines of a strong alpha body. Dean could see all the fear behind them start to fade away when he pulled him into his lap. The anxiety that threatened to return and darken his heart could only be dispelled by the love Dean would pump into him when he filled him with a knot. Castiel was more than ready to let Dean free him from all the terrible things that had haunted him for as long as he could remember.

Dean lay down on his back and lifted Castiel up and over his stomach so his legs were spread apart over Dean’s hips. He could feel the hard dick pressing up against the middle of his ass. Dean was careful when he reached forward, slowly circling his mate’s hole with a soft press of one fingertip. Castiel put his arms behind him, steadying himself while he prepared for Dean to breach him. Dean took it as the subtle permission he needed to slip his finger inside and stroke at the warm sheath of Castiel’s body. He saw Castiel’s cock respond with a small burst of pre-come at the new sensation. Dean pressed his palm against Castiel's stomach and dared to slip another finger in. Castiel circled his hips to push Dean’s fingers in more, letting out a long moan when both of them entered him all the way up to the base. Dean closed his eyes again, savouring every second of the delicious feeling that shivered down his fingertips when they brushed against the smooth bump of skin inside. Dean knew he had found what he was searching for when Castiel cried out and bucked against his hand.

“Turn round, Cas. “ Dean whispered. He smoothed one hand around Castiel's waist. “I wanna see.” Castiel tightened around Dean’s fingers. Both of them stayed inside him while he turned, leaning forward to rest his head on his hands so Dean had a perfect view of Castiel’s ass when it stretched around his caress. He gently spread his fingers to widen him up and prepare his body for Dean to mate him.

Dean stroked up and down his own cock, gently nudging the tip against his hole to make sure Castiel was ready. He didn’t try to pull away so Dean eased his fingers out and lined himself up. He started to prod carefully until he felt Castiel swallow the tip. Dean sighed out a deep breath in that perfect moment when he entered Castiel for the first time. He dug his fingertips into the soft flesh at the top of Castiel’s thighs and angled him just right so he could watch the beautifully slow glide of his cock into Castiel’s body. He heard him gasp at the feeling when Dean saw most of the thick length sink in and almost out of view.

“You alright?” Dean asked in alarm. He watched Castiel’s body go rigid. He was trying to force himself back on to something that felt like it was going to split him apart. “Cas?” Dean prompted again. His face was flushed with having to hold himself back, mouth drawn with concern. He held Castiel’s hips steady and stopped himself from sliding in any more until he was sure Castiel could take it. Dean wanted their first bonding to be something wonderful Castiel would remember forever. He hated the thought he might be causing him pain. “Does it hurt?”

Castiel nodded, but he bit into his lip and pushed his hips back in one smooth slide that knocked all the breath out of Dean’s lungs when he bottomed out. Dean groaned, starting to push in and out with slow thrusts while Castiel mewled on top of him and met every stroke. The middle of his back was shining with a line of beading sweat at the effort and Dean could already feel a budding orgasm pull in the pit of his belly. He had been so desperate to claim Castiel he knew he wouldn’t be able to last, so he struggled to push his body up. He was still locked inside him when he forced Castiel down onto his knees. Dean began to push his hips against Castiel's ass until he was so close to coming, his hazy thoughts dissolved into an endless litany of _mine mine mine_.

Castiel was crying out with every single thrust while Dean was pounding into him. He pinned Castiel to the bed with one arm around his neck and fucked him hard.

“Be mine, Cas. Be mine forever.” Dean murmured. He felt another surge of arousal pulse through his body and Dean knew he was going to come. “Cas.” He gasped desperately. His climax was building inside him. So close to shooting his load, it hurt. “Fuck - I’m gonna knot. Tell me, Cas... tell me you want this.”

Castiel met every relentless jab, his body trembling in the possessive hold Dean had on him.

“Yes, Dean. I want it. Claim me." 

“Cas, are you sure?” A feeling of absolute ecstasy was about to consume him. His eager thrusts picked up the pace, and he slammed into Castiel’s body. His knot was so swollen, it was his last chance to pull out before they would be locked together.

“Yes. Fuck, yes.” Castiel cried. Dean felt him judder around his dick. He pushed deep inside him one last time before it would be too late to take it back.

“Come for me, babe.” Dean felt his own orgasm crash through his body without mercy. His knot stretched wide, holding Castiel fast where they were tied together. Dean growled out his dominance and pulled his omega up to wind his fingers into Castiel’s hair. Dean yanked his head roughly to one side so he could access the curve of his neck. All his senses were flooded with unimaginable pleasure when he clamped his sharp teeth around the fluttering pulse on Castiel's shoulder and bit down as hard as he could. Dean held him close, and hushed him through the pain. He heard Castiel come with a breathless cry when Dean drew first blood.

Dean came again. It seemed to surge out in an endless wave, knot sealing him tight inside Castiel’s body. It pulsed out of him with violent after-bursts until Dean didn’t think he could take any more. He pulled Castiel down and held him tight against his chest. Castiel could feel him heaving in deep breaths, rapid heartbeat vibrating against his back. Castiel curled up in the safety of Dean’s arms and brought his knees up to his chest so he could fit perfectly against his mate. Dean wrapped one arm around Castiel’s waist, holding him even closer while he sucked at the mark he made with devotion. Dean could taste the fresh blood in his mouth, covering the bite completely. He licked at it while he soothed Castiel with gentle strokes across his stomach. He could feel the muscles tighten under his touch when Castiel’s body responded, keeping his alpha fastened inside him and milking him for more. 

Powerful emotions flowed between them while they stayed knotted together. Dean licked and kissed at the fresh bite on Castiel’s shoulder, still sliding his cock in and out. More come pulsed out of him and into his mate - the most natural way of trying to ensure as much fertile seed as possible was filling Castiel’s body. Castiel could feel Dean’s knot tugging inside him when he pushed his hips back. Dean's thrusts only faltered when Castiel reached behind him and smoothed one hand over Dean’s ass, holding him deep inside while each fresh burst of semen was forced into him.

They lay together for many long, perfect minutes just basking in the warmth of their bonding until Dean finally stirred and sat up. He pulled Castiel close.

“I want you to leave a mark on me, Cas. I want everyone to see that you're mine.” Dean whispered against his lips, licking at Castiel’s mouth. “…and I'm yours. Always.”

They were finally mated. Castiel had no words to describe the bliss of total fulfillment that was spreading all the way through his body. Castiel wanted Dean to feel complete, so he leaned against him and pushed himself up onto his knees. He threaded his fingers through Dean’s to hold him steady. Castiel nervously attempted a trial nip at the base of Dean’s shoulder, but his teeth were nothing like the pointed darts that just pierced his skin. The flesh around his own bite was still red and swollen. Dean lifted up one hand protectively to run his fingers over the raised bumps in fascination. He gave them another lick with a wet tongue to try and ease the pain. Dean knew he would never have been able to claim Castiel without that mating bite, but still hated the fact he had to hurt him to complete their bonding. Dean pressed his lips softly against the wound to try and kiss all the pain away. Castiel tilted his head back as far as he could to allow his alpha better access to his neck.

Dean affectionately lapped at the mark again to clean it. When he pulled back, they just stared into each other’s eyes with new understanding of what it would mean for them. Castiel dipped his head, playing with Dean's fingers where they were twisted together. Dean couldn’t understand how anyone could look so shy and so fucking sexy at the same time, but Castiel seemed to achieve it with no effort at all, and Dean knew his dick was starting to grow again. Castiel unleashed a wild alpha lust that had been suppressed for so long, it was raging through his blood like a firestorm. Now they were mated, Dean would be able to satisfy that desire as much as Castiel would let him. He would never take something so precious by force.

Dean searched all his life for his pair-bond. Lying next to Castiel in the afterglow of the most beautiful sex he could have imagined, Dean understood why he waited. Everything was so different. Something shared with love. He wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Castiel sucked hard on Dean’s shoulder, pressing a gentle bite into his neck. He leaned in and kissed the mark, but it wasn’t deep like his own and would probably fade with time. Dean wrapped both arms around his mate and pulled him so close, he could still smell his own scent on Castiel’s skin. His omega body melted into Dean’s embrace with a deep sigh of contentment.

Dean and Castiel were bonded forever and nothing would ever separate them again.

Α ✫ Ω 


	38. Chapter 38

“You really think we should leave them alone together?” Gabriel asked, glancing doubtfully over his shoulder. Sam continued to guide him down the hall by his arm while he fished in his pocket for the door key Castiel gave him. He could hear the lock click shut behind them while they walked away down the corridor. Dean was more than capable of looking after Castiel, and he didn’t want to hang around the apartment and cramp his style. They had a lot of catching up to do and Sam didn’t really want to listen to that all night. The wall between their bedrooms may as well be made of paper and he was desperate for sleep.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine.” Sam replied, even though he had a pretty good idea exactly how Dean intended to show Castiel just how much he missed him. He didn’t share it with Gabriel.

“What did you tell Dean?” Gabriel suddenly stopped in the middle of the hallway. It yanked at Sam’s arm where he was still holding onto him. “He looked like he wanted to kill me.” 

“Yeah.” Sam attempted cautiously, screwing up one eye. “I might have mentioned you were the one who told Crowley that Cas was an omega.” Gabriel closed his eyes. 

“That’s great, Sam - really.” He pulled his arm free. Sam jerked his head back in surprise. Gabriel had some nerve being pissy after everything he'd done. Despite the fact Sam towered over him, he knew he had no real right to question someone like Gabriel. Sam had never been a typical beta anyway, but years of living with Dean had made him immune to some of the macho bullshit that often accompanied an alpha’s desire to assert their dominance.

“Hey, I’m sorry but it wasn’t like I made it up. Dean was throwing a fit about it when he was banged up and it just kinda… slipped out.” Sam apologized, absently making a grab for Gabriel’s jacket. “I’m sorry.” Sam said again. When Gabriel looked up into those big hazel puppy eyes he felt a tight breath catch in his throat.

“’Kay.” He said blankly, still following behind Sam like someone had him on an invisible leash. They reached room 65 in less than a minute. Sam opened the door and switched on the light. He slipped off his jacket and threw it over the edge of the couch.

“They deserve some time on their own, anyway.” Sam added. “Dean _is_ crazy about him, you know.” Gabriel didn’t reply. He just nodded to avoid another painful conversation about Dean wanting to mate his brother. He really was too tired to even think about it, so he made his way through to the kitchen and distracted himself by searching through the cabinets to see if Castiel had anything a bit stronger than coffee. He didn’t. Gabriel was blissfully unaware that was exactly what Dean was about to do, never imagining Castiel would give his submission so willingly. The apartment was just as Castiel had left it. Strangely quiet apart from the dull background drone of streaming water when Gabriel turned on the tap to fill the kettle instead. “Gabe?” Sam tried to get his attention. He found Gabriel unusually easy to talk to despite their different opinions about the relationship that was about to be consummated down the hall.

“Want one?” Gabriel held up an empty mug and waved it around in the air. Sam paused. Gabriel knew by his hesitation he was going to ask him something important, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it.

“Please.” Sam nodded once. “So - do you really think I should ask Jess if she likes me?” Gabriel had to hold the spoon steady while he measured out the coffee, smiling warmly at Sam despite the persistent and annoying fluttering in his chest that always seemed to accompany the mention of her name.

“If that’s what you want.” Gabriel answered quietly. He turned away, mindlessly watching streams of water rinse the spoon clean. Neither of them said anything for a few seconds. Gabriel jumped when he realized Sam was suddenly standing behind him. He was so lost in his own thoughts, he hadn’t even noticed him get up. He turned to face him, quickly pressing his back up against the counter. He couldn’t get too close. Gabriel told himself it was only because he didn’t want to invade his personal space, but it wasn’t just that. He always seemed to feel far too warm when he was near him. He found Sam's presence suffocating in a way he never expected.

“That’s not what I asked you.” Sam smiled. Gabriel hesitantly licked his lips. They suddenly felt too dry, and he wasn’t really sure why Sam was asking for his opinion in the first place. “I want to know what you think.”

“Why do you care?” Gabriel sighed, without thinking his response through at all. He cursed himself in his head. Sam just laughed and punched him playfully on the arm.

“Because you’re my friend, and I trust you.” Sam answered, but something told his heart it was more than that. “I want you to be honest with me and tell me if you think I’m being stupid.” He reached past Gabriel to grab his mug. They were so close, Gabriel could smell the fresh scent of something crisp and sweet when Sam leaned over him. His eyes flicked up to study his face, letting his gaze linger just a little too long.

“I don’t think that's a word I would ever use for you.” Gabriel said quietly. Sam pulled away and took a sip from the edge of his cup.

“Oh yeah?” Sam laughed again. “What word would you use, then?” There were a hundred words that came to mind, but none of them would do him justice. Gabriel got flustered by his indecision and quickly changed the subject. He gestured for Sam to go back through to the other room so he could actually breathe.

“Why do you think Dean went so long without a mate?” Gabriel asked randomly. He was going for casual, but Sam wondered why he was so interested all of a sudden. He didn’t want to speak for someone who wasn’t there to defend themselves, and he could easily have asked Gabriel the same question.

“You’d have to ask him that.” Sam offered. He set his mug down on the table, flopping lazily onto the sofa and stretching out every long limb to its limit. “Can I ask _you_ something?” Sam said, with a wide yawn. Gabriel nodded, gripping his cup a little tighter. He slipped his fingers through the handle to make sure he didn’t drop it. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want, but I kinda guessed there was something personal about it. Why were you so against Dean and Cas being together anyway? He’s a good man, Gabe. I’ve never seen him like that with anyone.”

“I can see Dean loves him, it’s not that.” Gabriel answered slowly. Sam thought he might want to say more but he wasn’t quite sure how to phrase it. “I know you’ve been wondering why I’ve never taken a mate myself.” He sighed. Gabriel rarely spoke about himself at all, but something about Sam’s company seemed to put him at ease. Maybe the trust was mutual. “I mean, apart from spending most of my life being an asshole.” He lifted one hand to silence Sam when he opened his mouth to disagree. “You don’t have to defend me, I know how unbearable I can be sometimes.” He admitted quietly. Sam was fighting to stop his mouth from twitching up at one corner. “I saw that look, Sam.” Gabriel warned, but there was no anger in his voice.

“Well, maybe just a little.” Sam gave him a spirited grin. He never blamed Gabriel for what happened, and understood completely what it was like to try and protect someone you love.

“I just don’t agree with all this _claiming_ stuff, not really.”

Sam nodded thoughtfully. It was a weird thing to say for an alpha. Gabriel looked like he had shared all he was going to for one evening. It was obvious there was a lot of pain inside him, and Sam wondered sleepily if Gabriel would ever find the peace he needed to mend a lonely heart.

“Anyway.” Sam said. “If this Crowley is as bad as you say he is, then he’s not going to let Cas go so easily. I need to start making some decisions when I can actually think straight. I don’t think this is over, Gabe. Maybe the best thing really is for us to just move on and leave Dean’s mess behind - again.” He sighed.

“Let’s talk about it in the morning.” Gabriel yawned, setting his empty cup on the worktop. “You take the bed. Your legs are just gonna be hanging off the couch, anyway.” He smiled softly. “You’ll never get comfortable.” 

“No. Castiel's your brother. Seriously, I don’t mind. I’m so tired, I could sleep anywhere.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

It was just after midnight when Gabriel got up for a glass of water. He sipped aimlessly at it while his eyes drifted over to Sam’s silhouette. He was still struggling to get comfortable on something that was never designed to serve as a bed for someone so huge. Gabriel went over to him and gently pulled the blanket all the way up to his chin. He watched him for a while. His chest heaved with restless breaths and he was mumbling in his sleep. Gabriel bent down to tuck in the edge just as Sam turned. His arm got dragged over Sam's shoulder and ended up trapped between his body and the couch. Gabriel froze. He could feel the warm caress of Sam’s breath flit across the skin of his arm. It made him shiver.

“Sam.” Gabriel whispered quietly. He didn’t want to wake him, but was hoping he could disturb him enough to make Sam roll back over and release his arm. He stirred and opened one eye.

“S’matter?” He asked groggily. Gabriel pulled his arm free.

“Nothing. Go back to sleep.” He wanted to tell Sam how grateful he was for sticking with him after all he'd done, but nothing would come out his mouth. Sam snuggled back under the blanket and rested his head on his hands. He looked ridiculous on the small couch and Gabriel could feel his heart thudding so loud, he was amazed Sam couldn’t hear it. “Sam?” Gabriel attempted hesitantly, suddenly desperate to tell him how much he longed to stay. Sam turned his head to look over the arm of the couch. His long hair flopped over the edge and his eyes were still heavy with the promise of sleep. Gabriel lost his nerve and just shook his head like it didn’t matter. “Never mind.” He whispered, deciding it was probably best if he just went back to bed alone. Sam blinked in the dim light, and Gabriel saw his eyes shine through the darkness. “Goodnight.” He walked away before he changed his mind. Gabriel closed the bedroom door behind him with a whispered curse, and spent most of the night staring at the bedroom ceiling. Wondering how someone had managed to sneak past all his defenses without him even noticing.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean and Castiel made love again that night before exhaustion finally took them. Dean was just as patient and gentle as he was the first time, and Castiel promised him between tender kisses that it hadn’t hurt as much. He curled up next to Dean again and listened to his heart beating until he fell asleep on his chest. They were both stirred awake in the morning by sunlight streaming in and warming their faces. A gentle knock on the door finally forced Dean out of bed. He answered it in a hastily donned pair of boxer shorts and called Sam a bitch for not using his own key.

“I didn’t wanna disturb you.” Sam answered defensively. “I thought you might like some time on your own. I’m sure you found something to do.” Dean was about to reply when he saw Gabriel hovering in the doorway. He must have followed Sam to their apartment. Dean couldn’t even pretend to be pleased to see him.

“Is my brother alright?” Gabriel asked politely, with as much dignity as he could when Dean was looking at him like he just crawled out from under a rock. He just nodded. Castiel appeared behind Dean when he heard his brother's voice. The look of betrayal in his eyes was enough to make Gabriel understand they apparently knew enough about what happened to make some silent judgement against him. He didn’t think he could feel any guiltier than he already did, but he was wrong.

“I want to know what you told him, Gabe.” Castiel said quietly. “Why you told him.” He needed to know if Gabriel really had been involved in any part of his abduction. Gabriel couldn’t lie to him. Castiel deserved to know the truth, however fucked up it seemed now when he looked back at the whole sorry affair.

“I didn’t mean for any of that to happen.” Gabriel took a tentative step towards his brother. He hadn’t exactly answered the question. “I never thought Crowley would take you. I keep beating myself up over that, Castiel. You don’t know how bad I feel, but I just thought I was protecting you.”

“You seem to have a lot of good intentions on my behalf.” Castiel said coldly, slipping his fingers through Dean’s for support. Dean squeezed his hand and rubbed one thumb along the inside of his palm. Castiel turned to kiss his cheek. The shirt he hastily slipped on dropped from one shoulder to reveal the deep mark of Dean’s bite. Gabriel’s mouth dropped open in alarm, gasping in a rush of air when he lurched forward and pulled the material aside just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. 

“What have you done?” Gabriel cried in dismay. “Castiel?”

“Hey!” Dean shouted, his voice rising in intensity with every word that came out his mouth. He wasn’t going to let anyone talk to his mate like that. Dean pointed his finger at Gabriel’s chest and moved protectively in front of Castiel. He wedged his body between them. Gabriel glared back, but he didn’t get any closer. “I’m already pissed at you. Don’t give me another reason to kick your ass.” Dean warned him. He lowered his hand when he felt Castiel caress his back with gentle fingertips. He didn’t want them to fight. Castiel was still reeling with the happiness glowing inside him from the claiming, and he wasn’t going to let anyone take that moment from him. Gabriel sighed patiently, trying to peer around Dean’s shoulder to make it clear it was his brother he really wanted to talk to.

“Dean. No disrespect, but this is between me and Castiel.”

“Like hell it is. Anything you got to say to him, you can say to me as well.”

Gabriel ignored him like Dean’s presence between them was just a minor inconvenience.

“You weren’t there, Castiel. You didn’t see it.”

“What?” Castiel gaped in disbelief. That hurt, and he suddenly felt unnaturally defensive. “Of course I didn’t see it.” He added in astonishment. “You made me leave!” It was still a bitter memory. Dean’s unconditional love had gone a long way in helping him to heal, but there were some things that had left a permanent scar carved on his heart.

“I didn’t _make_ you leave.” Gabriel tried desperately to defend himself, but Castiel had a valid point. “I was trying to help. Trying to save you from… _that_.” His eyes were wide with exasperation when he stared at the mark Dean had made. He could see an alpha had finally claimed his brother and nothing he could say would ever change that. The most he could come up with now was a forced smile. He lifted both hands up in defeat. “It doesn’t really matter what I think though, does it?” Gabriel was at a loss to come up with anything new to help Castiel understand why it upset him so much. “I just… I hope you were careful.”

Castiel frowned at him with confusion. He spared a searching glance at Dean, but he just shrugged and shook his head. He wasn’t really sure why that was even something they should have thought about. Dean had long since forgotten the conversation he had with Sam about why he believed Castiel was so different. His mind had been so completely focused on working up to the moment they shared the night before, everything else had been pushed out of his head and replaced with thoughts of how he could keep his mate happy and safe. Sam coughed as a subtle reminder, but it went unnoticed when Gabriel threw himself into yet another verbal assault. He waved his hand at the fresh bite that was now glaringly obvious on Castiel’s neck when he stepped out into the bright light of the room.

“You don’t understand.” Gabriel tried again. He let out a despairing groan. “Every day, Cas. Every day she was subjected to indignity and submission by that monster.”

“What?” Castiel was breathing heavily against Dean’s side. He had tried so hard to block out the many injustices done to him as a child. Gabriel told Sam once before that his little brother had always been the focus of their father’s resentment for anyone who was different. Even his own children hadn't been safe. Gabriel was the one who was going to secure his bloodline, but Castiel had always filled him with shame. He pretended he didn’t know, but it was always there in his eyes when he looked at him.

“Omegas don’t just spontaneously burst into existence, Castiel. You look just like her, you know.”

“Gabriel?” Castiel implored. He was desperate for a better explanation, but his brother knew he already said too much. Gabriel just wanted to get out of there and breathe in some much needed air. He fled the apartment before he said something he wouldn’t be able to take back. Castiel and Dean were happy. He knew Dean would do his best to look after him, but Castiel wasn’t the only one who had been shaped by the choices of others. Sam felt compelled to go after him. He reached forward, smiling when he rested one of his large hands on Castiel’s shoulder in support. He didn’t say anything, but Castiel and Dean both knew it was his way of showing them he accepted their bond and given them his silent blessing.

Sam ran after Gabriel without really knowing why. He just caught sight of him when he disappeared around the corner at the end of the hall. Sam called out to him, but he didn’t stop. Sam wasn't sure if it was because he was out of earshot or because he was sulking. He decided to follow him anyway. By the time he reached the bottom of the steps, Sam had lost sight of him completely. He stood in the middle of the lobby turning in small circles and blinking stupidly.

Gabriel slipped around the side of the building and leaned heavily against a wall. He felt like his entire world was crashing down around him. Castiel belonged to Dean now, and Sam was going to ask Jess how she felt about him. Gabriel decided to do something he should have done days ago. Castiel was right. Everything he ever tried to do to help had just come back to bite him in the ass.

Everyone would be much better off if he left them all alone, and let them get on with their lives without him.

Α ✫ Ω 


	39. Chapter 39

Sam reluctantly gave up the chase and went back to the apartment a few minutes later only to find Dean’s bedroom door was closed again. He heard a low growl and a muffled giggle just before the creak of abused mattress springs when Dean pounced on Castiel again and threw him back on the bed. Sam closed his eyes. He would rather go and wait hours for Gabriel to come back than have to witness the sound of his brother making sure Castiel knew he was well and truly mated to him. The true alpha set free when Castiel submitted to Dean, had apparently turned them into rabbits. He wouldn’t have been surprised if Castiel’s new scent had pushed his brother into a full rut. He probably wouldn't see them for days. Dean always managed to keep those reasonably well under control without a mate, but he didn’t have to hold back anymore. Sam was happy for them, but it didn't mean he needed the visual imagery.

Dean had waited such a long time for Castiel, and it warmed Sam’s heart that his patience had finally been rewarded. He still couldn't shake an underlying wave of anxiety that had been with him since the night before. Maybe Castiel was _too_ special. Crowley certainly wanted him so badly, he was prepared to abduct him in broad daylight and Gabriel had hinted several times there was a lot more to their story than even Dean knew. Sam thought it might be a good opportunity to pick up where he left off with his research, so he grabbed his laptop and the stack of books from the table that had been gathering dust for a couple of days and quietly shut the door behind him. He headed back up the corridor, absently wishing Gabriel was with him so they could work on it together. They made a pretty awesome team, if he said so himself, and Sam felt a weird fluttering in his stomach when he thought about those eyes. He didn’t have to wait long for Gabriel to return, but he didn’t look like he was in the mood to do anything at all. He stopped in the doorway when he saw Sam was already inside. He obviously hadn’t expected him to be there. He looked very tired.

“Really?” Gabriel asked wearily, when he saw Sam intently studying Dean’s lore book again. He already opened up his laptop. “I don’t see how that even matters anymore.” His voice was unusually despondent. It almost sounded like he'd given up. “Why did you come back here?” Gabriel asked suspiciously. 

“Dean and Cas are er… busy.” Sam said diplomatically. The implication was apparently lost on Gabriel, which was probably for the best. He closed the door, barely even acknowledging Sam’s presence while he started to tidy up the apartment without another word. It was the least he could do before he left. Castiel could hardly spend a minute away from Dean before, but now they were mated it would be impossible for them to be apart. Everything Gabriel had read about their pair-bond confirmed that. It wasn’t very likely Castiel would be back. Sam tried not to be offended by Gabriel’s persistent silence, as he busied himself with various menial chores until Sam couldn't bear it any longer. He looked up from his computer and called his name. Gabriel reappeared after a few seconds with a rucksack in one hand.

“Everything alright?” Sam asked. There was no point in pretending he hadn’t seen it.

Gabriel nodded, dropping the bag on top of the kitchen counter. He leaned over it, his chin resting on both hands.

“I’ve been thinking maybe it’s time I went home.” Gabriel said slowly, hoping he hadn’t imagined the shadow of disappointment that flickered across Sam's face.

“Home?” Sam echoed quietly. He wasn’t sure how leaving would resolve anything, but Gabriel was a very dominant alpha and Sam had no right to try and change his mind. There was just something about it that felt wrong somehow - unfinished.

“I probably would've left already if I wasn’t worried Crowley might want to teach Dean a lesson for taking Castiel away from him.” Sam’s face fell. He couldn’t deny it was something that had crossed his own mind, at least once.

“I don’t think he can do much from a hospital bed.” Sam reassured.

“You’d be surprised what that man is capable of.” Gabriel sighed. “He has a great many contacts here, Sam. I imagine there are a lot of people who owe him a favour.”

“Dean won’t let anything happen to Cas.” Sam replied, with conviction. “I don’t think he’ll ever let him out of his sight again after what happened.”

“S’pose.” Gabriel answered indifferently. Sam could see he was mulling something over in his head. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“I think you should make your peace with Castiel first, though.” Sam deliberately ignored the weird feeling that came over him when he realized Gabriel had made the decision to go. Gabriel finally looked him in the eyes. Sam never really noticed before, but they were such an unusual colour. They sparkled in the light like burnished amber flecked with gold, and Sam had to force himself to release their hold on him.

“I know you probably don’t wanna hear this right now but Cas is blood, Gabe. Nothing's more important than that. Trust me, I know.”

“He doesn’t really understand me the way you do.” Gabriel shook his head. “Why would he? Maybe he’s better off not knowing, anyway.” 

Sam paused. Gabriel seemed more than happy to talk last night, and Sam was trying to think of something he might have said or done that could have put him in such a dark mood.

“Well, Dean sure as hell isn’t going anywhere. You either accept it or you don’t, but it’s not going to change. You know, now that you mention it.” Sam added thoughtfully. “I have been kinda worried about how Dean got out of jail without a hitch. Don’t you think it was all just a little too easy?”

“Maybe. He’s out, Sam. That’s all that matters.”

“That’s the point, though.” Sam persisted. “You seemed to think Crowley has a lot of sway here. Dean has a substantial record, Gabe. There’s no way they'd just let him stroll out of there without even asking for bond.”

“Okay. I’ll go and see Castiel before I go - say goodbye.” Gabriel murmured absently. He seemed so preoccupied with his own thoughts, Sam wasn’t sure he even heard him. Gabriel ran his tongue along the middle of his mouth like he wanted to say something else, but he just couldn’t seem to force it out.

“I’d give them half an hour or so.” Sam warned. Gabriel still looked confused but he just carried on packing. Sam could sense he wasn’t really listening to him anyway, so he turned his attention back to the computer. Neither of them missed the shy, furtive glances they exchanged when they thought the other one wasn’t looking.

 Α ✫ Ω 

An hour later, Castiel was lying peacefully in Dean’s arms when he felt something strange shiver through him. Dean had dropped off to sleep again. Castiel forced his eyes open and tried not to disturb his mate when he gently eased his body out of bed. The ache that started to plague him when he was trapped in Crowley’s basement had come back with fresh intensity, rushing down through his body and into his groin. His stomach looked even more distended than it had before and he suddenly felt much too warm. Heat washed over him in pulsating waves, and the skin around his bite still throbbed like a bitch. He rubbed at it with his fingertips, carefully examining the wound in the mirror. He could see the spread of purple bruising around the two deep holes on the curve of his shoulder, already fading to yellow at the edges. Castiel smiled at the memory and turned his head to admire the beautiful alpha who had claimed him so completely.

Castiel was still watching Dean sleep when another tide of painful heat surged inside him. He felt so sick he had to rush to the bathroom, but all he could manage were a couple of dry heaves. He splashed cold water over his pink cheeks and down across his neck, flinching when his fingertips grazed the sensitive skin around Dean’s bite. The unexpected tenderness made him retch again. He swallowed hard, and pushed away the inexplicable tide of nausea. He was still slumped over the sink when he heard Dean get out of bed. Castiel didn’t want to worry him, so he pretended he was just cleaning off the mess Dean made on him that morning and shouted he would be out in a minute. The possessive concern Dean always displayed when they were together was wonderfully endearing and Castiel bathed in Dean’s attention, but he knew what he would be like if he thought there was something wrong. He had been through enough lately, so Castiel hastily covered his body with shaking hands and hoped Dean wouldn’t notice how flushed he was.

He opened the bathroom door just as Dean reached the other side, never hesitating to wrap his arms around Castiel’s waist and pull him in for another passionate kiss. He nosed at the bite, inhaling as much of Castiel’s new scent as he could when he pressed his hips against him. The scent he had been fully mated and would always belong to Dean.

“I’m just gonna take a shower.” Dean said softly, stroking Castiel’s neck with comforting touches. He placed a gentle kiss over each swollen bump. Castiel tried hard not to flinch, but Dean could feel the warmth spreading up through his fingertips where they rested against Castiel's skin. “You okay?” Dean tilted his head to one side like he already knew the answer anyway. Castiel could never lie to him, so he just took the fifth and nodded instead. He buried his head in Dean’s shoulder to hide his face. 

Castiel slowly got dressed and wandered through to the kitchen to start rummaging through the cupboards in search of painkillers, but he couldn’t find any. He turned with a start when he heard a key slide into the lock, and the sound of Sam’s voice warning them he was coming in. He looked surprised to see Castiel was alone, and even more surprised he actually had clothes on. Gabriel stepped out from behind Sam. He scanned the room before following him inside.

“Where’s Dean?” He asked. Castiel jerked his head in the direction of the bathroom and the sound of streaming water. “Oh. I just came to say goodbye, but I guess I’ll have to catch him another time.” Gabriel added. He went for sincere, even though he had no idea what he would have said to Dean anyway. He didn’t expect he would be in the slightest bit sorry to see him go.

“You’re leaving?” Castiel gasped. He didn’t understand why that should make him feel like his brother was abandoning him all over again. “Why?”

“You don’t need me here, Castiel. I’m not sure you ever did.”

“That’s not true.” Castiel objected, eyes starting to fill with tears. His emotions were all over the place since Dean knotted him and he couldn’t stop them from welling up. “What happened, Gabriel? Why wouldn’t you tell me the truth?” Gabriel hung his head. There was little point in still denying Castiel the answers he needed.

“I didn’t want you to remember her like that. It’s been so long, Cas.”

“My mother?” Castiel asked quietly, finally realizing what his brother had been hinting at. Gabriel nodded sadly.

“I suppose it was different back then. I don’t remember a lot about it, but I know father claimed her against her will and made her have his babies. To carry on his name, or whatever.” Gabriel dismissed the idea with a contemptible wave of his hand. He reached out to touch Castiel’s arm when he realized how bad that sounded. “She loved us though.” He added quickly. “I never doubted that. As soon as father died, she disappeared. I haven’t seen her for years.” Castiel was staring at his brother in disbelief. “I’m sorry.” Gabriel whispered. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“What happened to the house?”

“I kept it up for her in the hope she might come back one day. Michael visits occasionally, but you know how he is. It’s too big for me to manage on my own really.” His eyes were sad. “It was never meant for just one person but well… what you gonna do?”

“You have _another_ brother?” Sam asked suddenly. Gabriel nodded again.

“The eldest. He had the sense to get out as soon as he turned eighteen.” Castiel didn’t really remember him. He was just a young boy when he left. “Anyway.” Gabriel concluded with a deep breath. “Now you know why I didn’t want any man to claim you. I was scared you might have been as unhappy as she was and I couldn’t stand it.” Castiel looked speechless. He sat down heavily on the edge of the couch and just stared aimlessly into space. His head was swimming and he still felt unbelievably sick. Neither of which had been helped by everything Gabriel just shared with him. He wanted Dean to hold him. “I don’t think I could ever take a mate like that.” Gabriel murmured, when the dark memory surfaced again and made the bile rise in his throat. He hadn’t really meant for Sam to hear it but he couldn’t take it back.

Sam gave Gabriel’s back an affectionate pat. There was much more depth to him than anyone seemed to give him credit for and Sam felt such a strong surge of sympathy, he suddenly reached out and pulled him into a friendly hug.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that.” Sam said kindly. “I thought there must be a reason why you were so scared for Cas. Let’s hope Dean cuts you a bit of slack when he knows the truth.” Gabriel laughed, rubbing one hand across his face to try and regain some kind of composure after Sam’s arms had been wrapped around him. 

“I won’t hold my breath.”

Castiel promised he would fill Dean in on some of the details later. He insisted he did want Gabriel to stay, at least for a little while. He looked so weak and desperate, Gabriel didn't have the heart to refuse him.

“You know, you really don’t look well, Cas.” Sam said, with concern.

“I’ll stay with him for a bit.” Gabriel offered, sitting down next to him on the couch so he could slip one arm around his shoulders. He wasn’t sure if he was ill, or maybe the shock of everything he'd just been told was starting to take effect. Castiel leaned into his brother and gently closed his eyes. “Besides, don’t you have to be somewhere?” Gabriel suggested, with a smile he had to force himself to fake. Sam nodded, but there wasn’t quite the same urgency he felt before.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam walked through the main entrance down at dispatch half an hour later to see Jess sitting in her usual spot at the front desk. Her face broke into a wide smile when she saw him.

“Sam.” She greeted him warmly. “How’s Castiel? Is everything okay?” Sam nodded, taking a deep breath in preparation for what he was about to say.

“Yeah, thanks. I wanted to come by to thank you for what you did for us.”

“It’s nothing.” Jess answered modestly. Sam knew she really meant it. “I’m just glad Castiel is okay. Actually, I thought he might be in today.” She added, glancing at the door like she expected him to walk in any minute. “That place was crawling with police when I came in this morning.” That was an unsettling thought.

“I’m not sure he’ll be coming back, Jess.” Sam replied. It was now looking even more likely they would have to move again, and there’s no way Dean would go anywhere without Castiel. “Dean wants to take care of him, and after what happened he’s pretty reluctant to even let Cas out of his sight.”

“Wow.” Jess laughed. “Welcome to the fourth century, Dean.”

“It’s not like that.” Sam smiled in return. “He’s just very protective.”

“So, you still looking for a job here?” Jess grinned. “Looks like we might have another vacancy just opened up.”

“That depends.” Sam replied. He leaned over the counter.

“Depends on what?” Jess rested her chin on her hands, looking up at him with wide blue eyes. Sam suddenly found himself stumbling to tell her one of the reasons why he wanted to stay.

“Lots of things.” Sam mumbled awkwardly. Jess smiled again. Sam could feel the adrenaline coursing through him when he eventually told her he didn’t want to leave her behind.

“Sam.” Jess said softly, covering his hand with her own. “I like you, I really do.” He knew by the look in her eyes what was coming next, and his heart sank. “I just don’t think I could up and leave with someone I hardly know. I’m sorry.” She gave him a genuine smile when Sam slowly pulled his hand away.

“I understand.” He replied. A tight knot had seemed to wedge itself in his throat. “I didn’t really expect anything else, but I had to be sure.” Jess looked like she wanted to say something else, but the desk phone rang behind her and she turned to answer it. By the time she put the caller through, Sam was gone and already standing on the street outside. He hung his head and stuck both hands deep in his pockets, setting off up the street alone with a feeling of foreboding dread playing with his thoughts.

 Α ✫ Ω 

When Sam got home, he saw Castiel was alone again. He sat up and rubbed at his eyes when he heard the door slam. Sam already felt terrible, and Gabriel’s obvious absence coupled with the news that whatever happened at the club was now securely in the hands of the law, was making him almost frantic with worry. He couldn’t shake the disturbing feeling Dean would now shoot to the top of the city's most wanted.

“Crowley’s place is full of cops, Cas.” Sam blurted out, helping Castiel to sit up. “What did he say about Dean before he came to get you?” Castiel had tried to forget about everything that happened in the basement, but he couldn’t dismiss the memory of Crowley's threat to get Dean if he tried anything. He really didn’t feel well at all and Sam noticed he still looked very pale. He forced out a quiet response.

“He said he would leave Dean alone if I promised to stay. That was the deal.” Castiel admitted at last, biting hard into his lip. He suddenly felt very concerned. Dean hadn’t just rescued him from that terrible place - he rearranged Crowley’s face.

Sam knew now the dread he felt earlier was a cold warning it wasn’t over. He rushed through to the bedroom, not caring if Dean was still naked or not. Dean met him in the doorway in a pair of shorts.

“We’re leaving, and we’re leaving now.” Sam insisted. He shoved Dean aside and started pulling everything out the closet, chucking stuff onto the bed with little regard for where things landed.

“Hey.” Dean shouted, cursing him under his breath as he failed to dodge the brutal onslaught in time and got hit in the head with a shoe. “ _Jeez_ , Sam. Calm down. What you mean, we’re leaving?” Dean asked, rubbing at the bump. Sam seemed not to have heard him, and Dean had to physically grab hold of him before he managed to get his attention. “Sam.” Dean insisted. “What’s going on?”

“Crowley’s not done, Dean. He’s gonna make sure you’re finished for what you did to him.”

“What I did to him?” Dean mocked, with a snort. “What about what _he_ did to Cas? Fucking animal deserved everything he got, and I’ll break the rest of his face if he ever touches my baby again.”

“Dean.” Sam sighed wearily, like it was the last breath he would ever take. “Do you not think maybe the whole problem is that you seem to make a habit of kicking the shit out of anyone who pisses you off?” Dean pulled a face, genuinely surprised Sam even asked him that as a serious question. Sam groaned with frustration and left a very bewildered Dean to start packing just as Gabriel walked through the door and deposited a bag full of groceries on the table. He took a small packet of aspirin from his pocket and launched them across the room towards Castiel.

“Gabe.” Sam gasped, relief flooding through him. He dragged Gabriel into a suffocating hug before he even realized what he was doing. Sam could feel Gabriel inhale a deep breath against his chest. “I thought you’d gone.” He suddenly remembered his place and quickly let him go. Gabriel didn't quite know how to deal with such a sudden and unexpected display of emotion. Sam was usually so calm. The warm sentiment stunned him into silence, watching all the pain on Sam's face just fade away. That was the moment when Gabriel knew without a shadow of a doubt - he would never be able to say goodbye to him.

Α ✫ Ω 


	40. Chapter 40

Gabriel ran one hand awkwardly through his hair, turning his face away to hide the spread of two blossoming spots of crimson that mysteriously appeared on top of both cheeks. He hurried away to the kitchen, muttering something about maybe waiting a little while longer just to make sure Castiel was okay. His voice was so quiet, Sam could hardly hear him. He watched the graceful movement of Gabriel’s hands while he started to unpack the groceries in silence. The revelation he might be staying with them after all caused a flutter of relief to make him tremble without warning. Sam was becoming more and more concerned his body was going to betray him sooner or later. Watching out for Dean had always been his priority, and not just from a sense of obligation either. A big part of Sam now felt responsible for Castiel as well and for whatever reason, he really believed he owed it to them both to make sure they would be able to stay together and safe. If that meant he had to put what he wanted aside for now, then so be it. Sam wasn’t sure that should hurt as much as it did.

Dean didn’t usually pay a shred of attention to anything that wasn’t shaped like Castiel, but even he couldn't ignore the way Gabriel was watching Sam while his brother continued to move through the apartment. Cramming things into any bags and boxes he could manage to get his enormous hands on. Castiel was still lying on the couch with one arm draped heavily over his eyes. The packet of pills Gabriel threw at him was still clutched in his hand. He kept shifting uncomfortably from one position to another like he was fighting a constant wave of discomfort. Dean wondered if he'd finally worn him out, but Castiel suddenly groaned in pain when he turned over on to one side. Dean eventually managed to draw his watchful irritation away from Gabriel long enough to realize something else was going on. It was clear Castiel was suffering, so Dean quickly rushed over to him and smothered him with excessive concern. He dropped to his knees on the floor next to him and reached for his hand. Dean held it tight, and put the back of the other one up to Castiel’s brow.

“Cas? Shit - he’s burning up. Cas?” Dean tried again. “What’s the matter? How long as he been like this?” Dean demanded. He looked over his shoulder just in time to catch Sam’s eye when Castiel didn’t answer. Sam didn't really know. Castiel slowly lifted up his arm. He turned to reply but couldn't actually manage to say anything. It looked suspiciously like he was about to throw up all over Dean, and the sight of his half-naked mate leaning over him and smelling that good certainly didn't help to calm his fever. All his senses seemed heightened while he lay there and let the rest of the world just pass him by. He could even hear Gabriel breathing from across the room, and Dean’s scent was now intensely potent. Sam spared him the occasional glance while he moved from room to room. There was something significant about his sudden collapse, but he couldn’t quite place it. The last time he was out of it like that was when Dean had pushed him into a heat by marking him. Sam hid his concerns for now. He just wanted them to get out of there as soon as possible. As harsh as it sounded, they could worry about Castiel later. Sam was desperate to sit down with Gabriel and try to figure out what the hell they were going to do next. The last thing he remembered reading that might be vaguely relevant was that stuff about those chemicals that made Castiel so special. They ran through the blood of an A-type for one reason, and one reason only. Sam couldn’t resist an indulgent smile when he watched Dean cosset Castiel with tender strokes. He was running one finger up and down his cheek. An unexpected thought suddenly popped in his head. There were many things in life Dean would never be prepared for and if Sam was on to something, that would have been right up there at the top of the list. Sam almost hoped his suspicions might be right. “Can’t you look in that book or something and try to find out what’s wrong with him?” Dean asked again. He was getting desperate. Dean always seemed so unnaturally insecure when it came to Castiel. It was his only vulnerability.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Sam humoured him. “But not now, Dean. I wasn’t kidding about us getting out of here. It’s only a matter of time before Crowley manages to piece his jaw back together, and I for one do not intend to be here when someone comes to get you.”

“I thought you wanted to stay.” Dean complained, reluctantly releasing Castiel’s hand. He placed a soothing kiss to his forehead. “Fucks sake. Make up your mind, boy.”

Sam couldn't believe how condescending that sounded, but he probably knew Dean better than he knew himself and he could see his brother was pretending to be strong for Castiel. Deep down he was worried sick about him. There was no way Dean would ever let that show, but Sam could see the concern right there in his eyes. Sam and Gabriel exchanged a tense glance. Sam still hadn’t told him what happened with Jess, and Gabriel wasn’t really sure why. Secretly hoping she had blown him off completely was a terrible thought, but he couldn’t help it and would be damned if he was going to apologize for it.

“Never mind what I said.” Sam replied. “It doesn’t matter anymore. You need to start getting your shit together.”

“But I’m looking after Cas.”

“Dean…”

“I said I’m looking after Cas!” Dean shouted. Sam knew it was pointless trying to argue with him when he was in full-on possessive alpha mode.

“Fine.” Sam spat bitterly. “But don’t blame me when they haul your ass back to jail, and then you won’t have Cas at all.” Sam glanced over at Gabriel, who was now studying him so intently he might have been admiring a piece of priceless art. Gabriel had an overwhelming desire to nip him. So stunned by the erotic image that popped into his head, he dropped everything he was holding.

Sam’s warning seemed to finally stir some panic inside his brother. Dean hated to admit it, but the little shit might have a point. If he did get arrested again, he would never be able to keep Castiel close. Dean would rather die than have to face a lifetime without him. It almost killed him the last time and that was before they were mated. He still wasn’t sure why Castiel had taken so sick but he looked like he needed him more than ever and Dean was happy to comply.

“Sam, can you just take a look at him? Please.” Dean begged. He might be an alpha with more virile hormones than anyone could possibly need, but he trusted his brother completely. Dean had been under the blissful illusion for years that Sam actually knew everything there was to know about everything and constantly drained him for reassurance. Sam stopped what he was doing and rubbed his hand thoughtfully across his mouth while he tried to come up with something else that might have affected Castiel so deeply.

“You don’t think it could be the bite? Maybe it’s infected.”

“Hey - what you trying to say?” Dean barked defensively. Sam went over to examine Castiel’s neck. He could see the holes were deep, but they were neat and clean apart from a little bruising. Dean tutted, offended the suggestion had even been given consideration. He slid one hand underneath Castiel's back. His shirt was damp with sweat. “Come on, baby. Let’s get you back to bed.” Dean whispered into his ear. Castiel immediately lifted up his arms and wrapped them weakly around Dean’s neck. He lifted him effortlessly off the couch and carried him back through to the bedroom. Dean could feel the heat coming off him in waves when Castiel leaned against him and inhaled his scent. It was comfort and home, and safety. He drew it in through his nose like his life depended on it. Dean gently set him down to rest, and his eyes were closed as soon as he felt the soft bed yield beneath him. Dean grabbed a t-shirt and slipped it on before curling up behind Castiel and pulling him back against his body like the two of them had been made to fit together in perfect symmetry. Dean pushed his hand underneath Castiel’s shirt and smoothed his fingers over his stomach. Castiel whimpered at the touch, so Dean pulled him close enough to feel warm breath caress the back of his neck. He instinctively pushed his hips back, and Dean was fighting his own conscience not to rip his shorts down and sink into him again. Castiel could feel a firm erection pressing hard against his butt. “Sorry, Cas.” Dean apologized. He had absolutely no control over that half of his body when Castiel was so close and gasping out all those little noises that drove Dean crazy. He nuzzled his face against Castiel’s shoulder and brushed his lips across the wound. He heard Castiel bite back a gentle sob. Dean’s heart stuttered in his chest. He turned his mate over so they were facing each other and rubbed his face into Castiel’s hair. He was secretly hoping Castiel would want to bite him again and seal their special bond completely but he knew it wasn’t the time to ask for something like that. Dean could hardly keep his hands above Castiel’s waist when his scent was rising up between them, but he forced himself to settle for the delicious memories of what they did that morning. His desire soon turned to fear when he felt the wetness of a hot tear slide against his cheek. “Cas, please tell me what’s wrong.” 

“I don’t know.” The words came out in a broken whisper. Panic started to tug at Dean’s thoughts while he held him.

“Tell me where it hurts, sweetheart.”

“Everywhere.” Castiel choked out.

“Right, that’s it.” Dean said forcefully. He sat bolt upright and physically dragged Castiel up with him. “We’re taking you to hospital.”

“No.” Castiel objected, with surprising urgency. Suddenly finding his voice again at the thought of having to be exposed like that. “I’m fine. I just need to rest.”

“You’re not fine, Cas.” Dean protested. He was unbearably torn between not wanting to upset him and trying to persuade his mate to get the help he obviously needed. Dean felt completely helpless. He couldn't do anything to make Castiel feel any better. Familiar insecurity made him wonder if it might be something he'd done. If he had somehow caused him pain, Dean would never forgive himself.

“Please don’t make me go, Dean - I’m scared.”

Dean dotted every part of his face with adoring kisses while he whispered words of comfort against his flushed skin, and told Castiel he would never have to be frightened of anything again. Dean would always look after him. Castiel seemed to take some solace from that and let Dean lay him back down and leave him dozing while he went to find Sam. Dean saw that Gabriel was still in the kitchen, but instead of unpacking he was now leaning up against the counter with his head resting on one hand, looking up at Sam with what Dean immediately decided was the stupidest grin he ever had the misfortune to witness.

“Sammy.” Dean called. “A word.” It pulled Sam away from the moment. His eyes flicked up to see Dean standing by the bedroom doorway with both hands on his hips. He always managed to make Sam feel like a twelve year old caught with his hand in the cookie jar again when he called him that. Gabriel returned to the indescribably dull task of sorting out the groceries into random piles just to keep his hands busy. Sam sloped over to Dean, shaking his head so his hair dropped over his face. He didn’t really want to meet the burning gaze of disapproval he knew was already there in Dean’s eyes. “What was that?”

“What was what, Dean? Talking?” Sam's patience was reaching critical.

“Why do you keep sticking up for him?” Dean leaned forward a bit so Gabriel couldn’t hear him.

“Dean - you don’t listen. You made up your mind about him a long time ago and you’re such a stubborn bastard you refuse to admit you might have been wrong about him. Talk to Cas about what he told us earlier. He had his reasons, good reasons actually, why he wanted to protect his brother and I… I like him.” Sam admitted quietly. Everything went completely silent. Even the sounds of Gabriel unpacking had stopped and Sam panicked. He changed the subject before Dean’s brain managed to catch up. “So what do you think then, genius?” Sam asked pointedly. “About Cas.”

The noises in the kitchen gradually resumed and Dean searched his mind for answers he knew he probably wouldn’t find. All he knew for sure, was it started just after he claimed him.

“Maybe I knotted him too hard, or something.” Dean mused absently. Gabriel cringed and screwed his eyes shut.

“I’m right here.”

Dean ignored him and started to dig through some of the boxes Sam already packed.

“Where’s my damn book?” He demanded.

“Dean, we don’t have time for this shit right now.” Sam knew every minute spent trying to appease him was another minute wasted. He didn't want Dean to start making half-ass attempts at reading something so complex, or impatiently skipping through the stuff that actually mattered. He made that mistake once before, and it put Castiel in danger. Sam swore to himself he would never let anyone harm Castiel again. “Get packing.”

Dean closed his mouth. Sam was right, as usual. He glanced back at Gabriel before growling with frustration and grabbing an empty box from the pile Sam had stacked on the table. Dean disappeared back into his bedroom. He would have slammed the door if Castiel hadn’t been curled up on his bed. Sam could practically sense him taking it out on his underwear drawer.

Gabriel and Sam just looked at each other in silence before Sam suddenly felt his shoulders relax with relief when Gabriel let out a gentle laugh.

“Tenacious, isn’t he?”

“Don’t even get me started.” Sam replied. Dean was probably terrified of losing Castiel again, and he really couldn't help himself. “He’s just looking out for Cas. Whatever you think about Dean, he loves your brother more than anything and we should do all we can to help them.”

“I know. I’ll go with you.” Gabriel said suddenly, hardly believing he said that out loud. “Wherever you want to go - I don’t care.” Gabriel never felt so impulsive, and he kinda liked it. Sam watched this unusual alpha with new interest. There was something so odd about him, but it never really made him feel uncomfortable. Sam found himself thinking he would really like to get to know him better. There was a gentleness underneath all that bitchy, repressed bullshit that was actually quite sweet. Sam flashed him a warm smile that reached all the way up to his eyes. “To look after Cas.” Gabriel added quickly. The way he was staring longingly at Sam’s mouth suggested maybe protecting Castiel wasn’t the only thing that had helped sway his decision.

“We can’t be sure what’s wrong with him though. It really could be anything. I don’t know how his body's gonna react to being mated, 'cause it’s never happened to him before and I seriously don’t think we’ll ever come across another one like him. Maybe the suppressants dampened his fertility as well.” Sam said thoughtfully. Gabriel frowned at him in distaste. He couldn’t even contemplate it. “It could just be Dean, though. That pair-bond thing seems pretty specific.” Sam seemed to be trying to remember some of the passages he waded through before Dean had been arrested. So much had happened since then, his memory was completely fried. He promised himself he would do some more research as soon as he got the chance. It would put Dean’s mind at rest at any rate, and he really missed his computer. “His hormones and stuff will be all over the place from what I read in Dean’s book. I’m not sure I believe it all, but it said they can even change gender internally when they need to - if you know what I mean.” Gabriel’s frown deepened. “We just need to look after him, Gabe.” Sam said kindly. Gabriel seemed perfectly happy to change topic. Thinking about his brother’s reproductive system wasn't really the way he wanted to spend an afternoon.

“No arguments from me, Sam. That’s why I came here in the first place.”

“But not why you stay.”

It wasn’t really a question, and Gabriel was glad because he didn’t have an answer.

“Can I ask what happened earlier?” Gabriel attempted cautiously. “I mean, it’s okay if you wanna tell me it’s none of my business.” Sam looked up. Gabriel couldn't quite make out what he was thinking, and he wondered if he'd over-stepped a line he didn’t even know was there.

“You mean Jess?”

Gabriel nodded.

“Nothing to write home about. Well - nothing, period.” Sam tried to make out it was no big deal. Gabriel felt his mouth threaten to twitch into a smile.

“Sorry.” He offered sympathetically.

“I don’t really want to talk about it.” Sam replied. “I’ll probably ask her to cover for Cas if anyone starts sniffing around, but that’s gonna be the end of it. I know we have to leave. It wouldn’t be the first time.”

Gabriel felt much happier than he had in days. He helped Sam to load whatever he thought they would be able to carry and stacked it all up by the door. Dean hadn't re-emerged from the bedroom since his heated disagreement with Sam, and time was pressing. Sam had been right all along about Crowley. Even as they were making the final preparations to leave, he was already writing out his statement. Telling the police exactly where they could find the dangerous fugitive that went by the name Dean Winchester.

Α ✫ Ω 


	41. Chapter 41

Sam left Dean to sulk for a while, but they couldn’t afford to wait much longer. He tapped gently on the bedroom door and called out his name. There was no answer, so Sam put his ear up against it but all he could hear was an eerie silence. 

“Dean?” He shouted anxiously. “What the hell are you doing in there? Come on.” Sam demanded. “We need to get moving.”

There was still no reply, so Sam cautiously pushed the bedroom door open with a gentle nudge of his shoulder. The room was still dimmed in shadow but he could just make out the shape of Castiel’s body curled up on the bed. Sam's eyes slowly got accustomed to the low light. He gasped out a choked breath in alarm when he realized Castiel was bleeding. His beta senses might not have been anywhere near as acute as Dean’s, but he could smell it in the air. He could see Castiel’s shoulders softly shaking. Dean was just staring helplessly at him in silence. He had no idea what to do, so he just lifted Castiel's head from the pillow and held him to his chest. His eyes were full of fear. Sam hurried to check Castiel’s pulse, pressing searching fingertips against his wrist. The beat was there, but it was a lot weaker than it should have been.

Dean seemed unable to move at all. Castiel attempted a cautious dab across his butt. There was a wet patch of warmth spreading across the seam of his shorts and soaking the bottom of his back. He examined his fingers in horror. They were coated with fresh blood and a layer of some clear sticky substance that looked like a combination of mucus and slick. His hand was trembling.

“Sam.” Dean whispered in a shaky voice, still massaging Castiel’s stomach with tender circles. “I know you want us to leave, but I don’t know what to do.” Sam couldn’t remember a time when his brother ever looked more desperate. “Please.” Dean urged. “Please, just hold on until you can find out what we can do to help him.”

“Dean.” Castiel murmured quietly. “I think something's happening inside me. It hurts so bad.”

Dean could hardly breathe. He comforted his mate with soft touches and did his best to pretend he wasn't scared shitless, building panic making his heart pound against his ribs. Castiel tried to shuffle off the side of the bed so he could stand. He let Dean help him and leaned heavily against his alpha. Castiel flinched with almost every step, so Dean encouraged him to slide his arm around his neck to support him. They moved slowly through to the bathroom together so they could clean him up. Sam felt so conflicted. The warning constantly dragging at the edge of his thoughts was impossible to push away but there was something very wrong with Castiel. He was in no fit state to go anywhere. If they tried to make a break for it now he would only slow them down, and that could put him in even more danger. Sam had to do his best to help.

“What’s going on?” Gabriel asked. Sam passed him by without a word of explanation. Gabriel looked on helplessly while Sam started to dig through one of the boxes by the door. “Sam?” Gabriel prompted again.

“I need Dean’s book.” Sam muttered over his shoulder.

“What? I thought we were leaving.” Gabriel argued. Sam continued to ignore him, letting out a little sound of satisfaction when his fingertips brushed against a ridge of worn leather. He pulled it out and started to leaf through some of the later chapters, like he instinctively knew where to find the information he needed. Sam perched on the edge of the table and started to read. Gabriel decided if they were staying a bit longer, then he was definitely going to replenish his caffeine levels before they set off. He left Sam to get on with it while he filled up the kettle and measured out some coffee. Gabriel could hear the sound of running water in the bathroom and the muted stream of Dean’s voice. Trying to calm Castiel and ease the anxiety threatening to claim him again. “What the hell is wrong with him?” Gabriel asked helplessly, setting a cup of coffee down next to Sam before he pulled up a chair.

“Thanks, Gabe. I’m not sure. I think he must be finding all this stuff real difficult to deal with - it's all so new to him.” Sam didn’t look up. “I did wonder if their bond maybe isn't quite complete yet. His body might still be going through everything it needed to do for Dean to claim him. There must be a reason why he’s hurting like that.” He didn’t realize Dean was standing in the doorway until he heard his voice cut through the silence.

“I thought you said the bonding thing would happen soon as I claimed him.” Dean frowned. Sam looked thoughtful while he ran one finger along a line of text. He gave his brother a cursory glance.

“Yeah, I thought so too but I must have missed this bit before, and then some possessive jerk decided to go get himself arrested and I never got to finish it.” Dean didn’t say anything. Sam imagined he saw his cheek twitch. “Looks like there are actually two types of pair-bond. It depends on the amount of chemicals being produced, which I think is mostly what’s going on with Cas.” Sam added. He was fairly certain he knew why Castiel was secreting so many hormones since Dean had bitten him, but he wanted to be completely sure he was right before he shared that monumental news with Dean. “There’s one for sort of short-term stuff like mating and one that lasts a lifetime, like that true mate thing you were always banging on about.”

Sam closed the book after a few minutes. He held his hand to his mouth, trying to absorb everything he just read. Castiel’s body was changing, there was no doubt about that. He had responded to Dean’s claim in a way even Sam never expected, and there was only one thing that would seal their pair-bond completely and bind them as true mates forever. Sam looked over at Gabriel where he was leaning against the table, mindlessly sipping coffee from the edge of his mug. They might officially be about to break the law and go on the run but Sam felt much calmer than he had done for a while. A strange peace always seemed to settle on him when Gabriel was close like that.

“But I want Cas for life.” Dean said simply. It was so sweet and genuine, Sam gave his brother a warm smile.

“I know that, Dean.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam was busy securing the last of the boxes with a second round of tape when he jumped up in alarm at the sound suddenly filtering through the air outside. Gabriel heard the sirens just before the glare of coloured lights flashed on the street below. Within minutes, two patrol cars came to a sudden halt with a deafening screech of rubber. Dean’s head jerked up. Paralyzing fear flashed behind his eyes, just for a second before the anger took over. Sam understood that fear was for Castiel, not for his own safety. Sam dropped everything and rushed to help them get out the apartment before it was too late. Dean truly believed he was nothing without Castiel. There would never be anything he wouldn’t do to keep his precious baby safe. Alpha instincts struggled to control a fury that was building inside him. His sharp teeth were itching, legs apart in a defensive stance with his fists curling tightly by his sides. Running away from a fight just wasn’t in him somehow. Dean was more than prepared to beat the crap out of anyone who had the balls to burst through that door and try to tear them apart. Sam thought it would be a much better idea if they just made a run for it and worried about the consequences later. Dean was lost to his emotions again and was having none of it.

“No, Sam.” Dean argued. His stubborn streak made Sam want to slap him. “I’m not gonna let anyone try and take me away from Cas.” Gabriel was getting more and more frustrated with Dean’s seemingly limitless supply of irrational macho pride. He already tolerated about all he was prepared to take. He marched over to Dean, jaw set in determination.

“Get out, Dean.” Gabriel insisted. He started to shove Dean backwards, palms pressed against his chest. “Take Castiel and go. I can hold them off.” Dean didn’t seem able to process that not only was Gabriel handing out orders, he was also offering to give himself up to save Dean and help the others to get away safely. “For my brother.” Gabriel said firmly. Dean nodded and ran over to Castiel. He hitched him up and over his shoulder, holding Castiel close to his body by wrapping one arm around the back of his legs. He knew they would only have a few minutes before the police would be right outside the door, so he called out for Sam before heading down the corridor and straight for the stairwell. Castiel’s body was limp, bouncing up and down when Dean ran towards the fire escape. It definitely didn't help to settle his stomach. His head was lolling over Dean’s shoulder, eyes still closed.

Castiel had put his total faith in his alpha, and Dean knew it. There was no way he was going to put him down, and all three of them managed to make it to the emergency door before they were caught. Everything they owned had been left behind. Sam had mumbled a frantic promise they would come back for it when the heat died down a bit but Dean didn’t care about anything so long as he had Castiel. Sam dropped down, two steps at a time and let Dean pass Castiel down to him so they could descend as quickly as possible. They seemed to have a pretty good system going while they moved down between the floors. Dean eventually climbed over the side of the railing and jumped down to the lower level. He reached up and Sam lowered Castiel into his arms. Dean held onto him while he waited for Sam to catch them up, but Castiel was pleading for Dean to put him down.

“Dean, I can walk.” Castiel objected. Dean didn’t seem all that convinced.

“Doesn’t matter, Cas. I got you.” Dean whispered. Castiel wriggled impatiently in Dean’s arms until he finally relented and gently set him down on the pavement. Dean reached for his mate’s hand and they hurried away from the scene together. They followed Sam when he darted blindly down a side street and chased after him until they were completely out of breath. Dean was adamant Castiel really couldn’t go much further. They needed to find a place to rest, and let Gabriel know where they were so Sam sent him a rushed message and prayed he got it in time.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam had signed them in hours ago and was sitting by the window staring at his cell phone when he saw a familiar shape wandering aimlessly through the parking lot. He couldn’t get to the door fast enough.

“Gabe!” Sam shouted in amazement. “How the hell did you get away?”

Gabriel smiled, and slid his hands into his pockets.

“Yeah… about that.” It almost sounded like an apology. Sam no longer doubted the true depth of his loyalty now he had chosen to help them. Gabriel looked like he was trying very hard not to grin. “I er… I promised to go in for an interview in the morning. I’m not allowed to leave - naturally.” Sam caught the sparkle of mischief that flickered in his eyes. He practically dragged him inside the shady motel room.

“Naturally.”

“Besides, I think the local force might be busy for a few hours. Seems there’s been a terrible fire down town. Looks like Crowley’s basement just went up in flames. Police suspect arson.” Gabriel cautiously licked his lips while he waited for a reaction. “Apparently, they had an anonymous tip about insurance fraud.” He added quietly. A subtle waggle of both eyebrows was the only explanation they were going to get for now. 

Dean got off the bed as soon as he heard Gabriel’s voice, listening to the whole account that followed with a dry smile pulling at his mouth. Sam was astounded his brother never said a single word until Gabriel had finished. Dean suddenly grinned wide and rushed over to him, grabbing Gabriel by the face and planting a resounding kiss on the side of his cheek in gratitude. Gabriel’s jaw was hanging open. Dean slowly released him and gave him a playful slap.

“You’re alright, Gabriel.” Dean flashed him another smile. “You’re alright.” Sam's eyes almost dropped out his head in surprise. Dean had finally acknowledged Gabriel as something other than a total dick. Even through all the worry Sam still had for Castiel, that acceptance made him very happy. He had no idea why, and he didn’t care. They were safe, and together. It was more than he could have hoped for when he thought about what might have happened if Gabriel hadn’t stepped in like he had. “Sammy, kiss that man.” Dean laughed, patting his brother hard on the back when he walked past him. He hadn’t really meant it to be taken literally but he was so pleased they all managed to get away, it just fell out. The silence that followed while Gabriel and Sam stared at each other was hovering like an unspoken promise between them. Gabriel looked like his expression was frozen rigidly in place.

Dean soon returned to Castiel to give him a cuddle, pressing gentle kisses into his hair and taking perfect comfort from the warmth of his body where it pressed into his side. Castiel was still pale and very quiet, but he seemed to brighten a little as soon as he knew his brother came back for him. Sam moved closer to Gabriel so they wouldn’t be overheard.

“Sorry about Dean.” Sam blushed. “He’s an idiot.”

Gabriel swallowed hard. Something inside him rose up in a wave of every unfamiliar and mystifying feeling that had been surging around his body for days. His eyes were shining.

“I can probably think of worse ways you could thank me.”

Sam watched Gabriel’s ears turn red from the bottom up. He took another step forward, never dropping his gaze while he approached the alpha with uncertainty. There was no longer any barrier of status between them. They grew even closer and Sam wondered why he never noticed the way Gabriel's lip seemed to twitch to the side when he spoke, or how his chest hitched whenever Sam looked into his eyes like that. Shit.

“I don’t think Dean was actually serious.” Sam muttered, shifting awkwardly from one leg to the other when the penny finally dropped. Gabriel was almost within grabbing distance and Sam was so tempted to move in close enough to touch him, he could feel his fingers start to unfurl. His cheeks were burning up. He was staring at his shoes with sudden interest.

“Me either.” Gabriel stammered, eyes unblinking. There was something reckless inside Sam that was screaming to be set free and satisfy Dean’s request, but he wasn’t sure a physical display of his growing affection would be returned. That small sliver of doubt was enough to make him hesitate.

“Listen, Gabe.” Sam started gently. “There’s something I want to say to you, but I don’t really know how to say it.”

Gabriel looked up expectantly but Sam suddenly remembered his silent promise to Castiel, and he faltered. “But not right now. My main concern is to get Cas somewhere safe that doesn’t have a vacancy sign hanging outside. Then I think you and I should talk.” 

“We’re just gonna have to stay on the move for a while.” Dean interrupted, reaching for Castiel’s hand again. He threaded their fingers together and brushed his lips against each one of his knuckles in turn. Dean pulled him into another hug and buried his face in the back of his hair.

“But I don’t want that, Dean. I want us to have a home.” Castiel murmured. Dean’s heart filled with hope. He said that word like it meant something. _Everything_.

“I know, babe. But it’s the only way we can be sure to stop Crowley from ever finding us. We’ll be okay, Cas.” Dean soothed. Castiel tried to look much stronger than he felt. Despite Dean’s assurances, he knew he was just saying that to comfort him. Neither of them really believed a life on the road would be better than a warm apartment, lying in a soft bed in the shelter of each other’s arms, but Castiel trusted Dean with his life. It didn’t really matter where they were as long as they were together. His pain seemed to have faded for now so Dean held him even closer, instinctively resting one hand on Castiel’s stomach when he whispered his promise. “We won’t have to run forever.”

Dean didn’t know it yet, but Castiel would hold him to that a lot sooner than he expected.

Α ✫ Ω 


	42. Chapter 42

Dean closed his eyes, savouring the beautiful touch of Castiel’s body against his own. The sweet scent of unfamiliar hormones his mate was now releasing freely into his blood settled between them like a delicious promise Dean willingly let fill all his senses. He felt a sudden need to protect his omega more than ever, and he didn't really know why. His hand was still resting on Castiel’s belly. Sam was watching them closely from the doorway when all those familiar suspicions returned.

“Sam?” Gabriel whispered quietly. He tugged on his arm, easily drawing his attention away from Dean. “I still think we should take a risk and try to get Castiel to hospital.” He suggested, after managing to drag Sam discreetly to one side. He didn't want Dean to hear them talking. “I really don’t like the idea of him being dragged all over the country like that. He’s still not well.” Sam gave a furtive glance over his shoulder and leaned in towards him.

“I don’t really think he’s _sick_  exactly, Gabriel - not anymore.” Gabriel pulled a face.

“Of course he’s sick, look at him.” He objected. Sam just rested his hand on Gabriel's shoulder and shook his head.

“I think there’s something going on, but I doubt they would be able to do anything for him there anyway. It’s about their bonding, Gabe and if I’m right, then we'll just have to wait it out and see what happens. ‘Sides which, if we go so close to the city we might get caught and that wouldn’t do any of us any good.”

“I suppose. Castiel would be no use without Dean, anyway.” Gabriel admitted. Sam thought he almost smiled. “I sometimes wonder how they ever managed to live without each other.”

“True love, huh?” Sam laughed gently. “Nothing like it.” 

“Well, I wouldn’t know anything about that.” Gabriel replied. Sam saw his shoulders drop. He suspected that wasn't so far from the truth, and it pulled at his heart. Maybe it would be easier if they went their separate ways until they were all clear from the threat of capture. Now they had upped the ante so high, they were in too deep to risk staying there and the law was definitely not on their side. Sam didn’t think Crowley would be quite so forgiving next time.

“I hate to say it, but I _have_  been thinking it might be better if we split up for a while.” Sam offered hesitantly. He didn’t really want to leave Castiel while he was still so weak, but travelling together was a bad idea if they wanted to put their many indiscretions well and truly behind them. He was more than willing to draw unwanted attention away from Dean if it gave him a better chance of getting Castiel somewhere safe. He had a sneaking suspicion Gabriel would do the same. He was nodding thoughtfully by Sam’s side when he was apparently struck by some inspiration.

“I guess we could always go back to the house. It’s a long trip, but we might be safer there for a while. At least we’d be out of state, and it’s big enough to hide Castiel away until we decide what to do.” Sam didn't know what to say. It was too much to expect Gabriel to take them all in - even for a little while.

“It’s real nice of you to offer an’ all, but we couldn’t impose like that. It’s your home.” Sam replied. 

“Sam.” Gabriel sighed. “It’s only me there most of the time and… well, it is Castiel’s home, too.” The way he said that made it sound like it still pained him to think about it. Sam wasn’t sure if Castiel would really be ready to go back, but he knew it wasn’t his decision to make. Dean started to suspect he was the subject of hushed conversation. His eyes were full of suspicion.

“We’ll talk about it later, Gabe.” Sam added, slowly starting to accept just how much he enjoyed Gabriel’s company. He was probably the most unlikely person Sam would ever be drawn to, but there was just something about him that made his stomach tremble. Gabriel was uptight and stubborn, and all kinds of fucked up but Sam couldn’t help but like him. He suddenly wondered what it would be like to kiss an alpha, caught off-guard when Dean shouted his name from the other side of the room. Sam blinked.

“What?”

“I want Cas to get some rest. No offense, but you reckon you could get another room? There isn’t space to swing in here, and you talk too much.” Sam gaped at him. His brother’s hands were all over Castiel again. He had that same look in his eyes Sam had only ever seen when Dean wanted to claim him.

“You mean you want the room to yourself.” Sam said flatly. Dean’s mouth twitched to one side.

“No.”

“Please - credit me with some intelligence.” Sam sighed, grabbing his backpack. It was the only thing he managed to salvage before their frantic dash for the exit back at the apartment. “Come on, Gabe. Let’s see if they’ve got any more vacancies.” Gabriel followed along behind him out of habit. An unspoken law that Gabriel did everything Sam asked of him. He never seemed to want to assert his dominance or authority when they were together. Castiel smiled to himself.

They managed to secure another room a few doors down, and Gabriel was trying not to think too hard about having to see Sam in his bed shorts. Dean was hanging a _do not disturb_ sign outside the door when they walked past with another key. Castiel definitely looked sleepy and Dean really did want him to take a nap, but if he woke up frisky that was just a bonus.

“Figures.” Sam concluded, like always being right was just another curse he had to endure. “I want us to meet up in the morning, Dean, so go easy on him. We need to decide what we’re gonna do and I need to talk to you about Cas. Dean?” Sam tried again, when the door closed in his face. A muffled confirmation was the last thing he heard as he hitched up his pack. When they reached the other room, Gabriel pushed the door open.

“Why do you need to talk to Dean about Castiel? Was it something to do with that book you were reading?” Gabriel asked. Sam nodded and stifled a yawn.

“Yeah. I think it might explain why he was having a hard time. Mating doesn’t quite seem to follow the same rules for A-types like Cas, and then those two have to go and throw that pair-bond thing in as well.”

“Is it just me, or does Dean seem even more clingy than usual?” 

“I think that new scent is causing him to go into protective overdrive.” Sam answered honestly. “Sorry, Gabe. I can’t really say anything more until I’ve spoken with Dean. Let them rest tonight. I think we should all talk about it in the morning.”

“Okay.” Gabriel agreed absently. He wasn’t really offended, but there was a little more cryptic innuendo than he would have liked. He knew it was something serious by the way Sam’s mouth dipped down when he thought about what he was going to say. Gabriel scanned his new surroundings while he peeled off his jacket. There were two single beds in the middle of the room, but they were pushed so close together they were almost touching at the edges. They may as well have just put them in a double for all the sleep he was going to get.

“You okay?” Sam asked. Gabriel looked nervous.

“I’m good, Sam. Just worried about my brother.” That wasn’t strictly true, but he couldn’t tell Sam the real reason why he was panicking hysterically inside. 

“I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Sam reassured. “Pick a bed.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean helped Castiel to undress and put him to bed. He didn’t seem remotely interested in having a rest when Dean lay down next to him and started exhaling heavy breaths against the back of his neck. He suddenly felt much better than he had all day. Castiel turned over and leaned into Dean, releasing a soft hum of contentment against his lips.

“Something about you lately just makes me wanna lick you all over, Cas.” Dean whispered into his mouth. The deep voice seemed to rumble across his skin and settle low in his stomach. Castiel felt a pulse of desire twitch between his legs when Dean continued to nip lightly at the mark he left on his shoulder the first time he knotted him. Castiel soon felt the ache inside him fade away when Dean eased him on to his back, and gently kissed him. Castiel tugged hard at his hand, encouraging Dean to pull it down over his stomach and slip it between his thighs. Dean knew exactly what he was trying to do. The excitement ran through him, but Dean was still really concerned. It was his duty as an alpha to be attentive.

“You sure, Cas?” Dean looked up hopefully, just to be certain. He was finding it increasingly difficult to stop his hands from wandering, unable to explain the overwhelming desire to try and cover every inch of Castiel’s skin with gentle touches that let him know just how much he wanted him. “I don’t wanna hurt you again. I’m scared I made you bleed.”

Castiel didn’t say anything. He moved round to present his ass to Dean, wanting to show his alpha he was prepared to give himself completely and let Dean rut him whenever he wanted. Castiel never allowed himself to embrace the true nature of being an omega until Dean made his claim. The submissive gestures seemed almost impossible to control, and he waited patiently with his butt tilted up for acceptance. Castiel pushed his shorts down while Dean moved around him in small circles, body arched and head dipped low. Asserting his dominance. Castiel kept completely still and obedient when Dean pounced. He fixed his teeth against the back of Castiel’s neck and pinned him down while he mounted him from behind and rutted against his slick-coated thighs. He was soon hard enough to push in untouched. Dean made love to him carefully, whispering reassurances and making sure Castiel was alright while he thrust into him. Dean had a powerful desire to refresh the fading bite and uphold his claim.

Castiel moaned beneath him when Dean came. He felt the sharp teeth sink into his shoulder. It didn’t hurt as much as it did the first time. There was something so raw and possessive about the way Dean growled against his skin, it made Castiel feel dangerously impulsive. Dean was still knotted deep inside him when Castiel carefully slid his body round so he was sitting in Dean’s lap with their faces almost touching. Dean suddenly looked shy when he leaned in and pressed a single kiss to Castiel’s lips.

“Cas?” Dean seductively flicked his eyes up to gaze into that bright, inviting blue. “Mark me again. Bite me until you can taste my blood on your tongue.” He pleaded. Castiel’s eyes drifted to the space on Dean’s shoulder where he nipped at the skin before, but the red welts had almost faded away completely. He couldn’t seem to look away, no hesitation when he covered his mouth over the damp patch of skin and licked at it to see if Dean would pull away. Wanting was one thing, but actually having the pain of someone sinking their teeth into your throat was something else. Castiel could no longer refuse anything Dean asked of him, and he closed his eyes and bent his head. He latched his mouth onto Dean’s shoulder and bit down.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam returned with his cell still resting in his hand. He went outside to make a quick call to Jess, and check if anyone had been asking about Castiel. Gabriel looked up when he heard the door slam. He raised his eyebrows expectantly.

“Anything?”

“Not yet. She’s gonna let me know if anyone starts asking questions.”

“How is she?” Gabriel felt obliged to ask, but the thought of Sam relying on her for anything still made his stomach feel tight. He was surprised Sam seemed to shrug it off.

“Okay, I guess. I didn’t ask.” 

Gabriel smiled softly. He hadn’t taken long to get over her.

“So what did you want to tell me?” 

Sam slipped the phone in his back pocket. Gabriel searched his eyes for something he hardly dared hope for. Whatever it was that drew him to Sam had been repressed for too long. The alpha in him imagined all sorts of sinful things he would like to do to that man if he ever got the chance.

“It really wasn’t much of a big deal.” Sam lied. He swore Gabriel looked disappointed. “But now you’re staring right at me, it seems a lot harder than I thought it would be.” He laughed awkwardly and thought about changing the subject, but Gabriel was still looking up at him with those damn eyes. Waiting for him to say something.

“I meant what I said earlier, Sam. You’re all more than welcome to stay at my home.” Gabriel started to make his way over to him.

“Thanks, but I don’t think I could take advantage of you like that. You got dragged into this mess, but it really isn’t your problem and if I were you, I’d have run a mile a long time ago.”

“No you wouldn’t, Sam.” Gabriel gave him a wry smile. He couldn’t deny it. There was nothing he wouldn’t have done to help them. “You care for Dean just as much as I care for Castiel, and that’s not what I meant anyway. I _want_ you with me.” Gabriel finally admitted. It scared the hell out of him, but he couldn’t take it back now and he wasn’t really sure he wanted to. His heart was pounding, waiting for the inevitable response. Sam was so kind he would politely decline and then Gabriel would just say he was fine, and smile and pretend his heart hadn’t split in two and pulled him apart inside. It's a fine line between brave and stupid. He braced himself for the rejection, but Sam was just staring at him in stunned silence. Gabriel was so flustered, he broke the uncomfortable moment with a string of random nonsense. His mouth just kept moving. He could hear his own voice spouting complete bollocks but there was nothing he could seem to do to stop it. He was panicking. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I said that. I mean, I kinda do because I wanted to say something before and then it didn’t seem right because you said you liked Jess, and I knew I probably didn’t have a chance of being anything more than your friend… and that’s fine anyway, Sam because I like you, I really do but I never thought I would ever want to be with anyone like I want to be with you, and I… now I know I’ve fucked it all up and - ”

“Gabriel.” Sam said gently, taking a step forward and placing his hands either side of the other man’s face. “Shut up.”

Gabriel’s mouth suddenly snapped shut, blinking mindlessly when he leaned into a touch he had craved for so long. He felt every muscle in his body tense when Sam dipped his head and dared a sweet touch to his lips. Gabriel moaned with desire when Sam kissed him again, just to make sure he knew how much he wanted to feel the warmth of that wet mouth against his own. That simple brush of Sam’s soft kiss had somehow opened the floodgates that held back Gabriel’s emotions for so many years. He reached up high, securing his arms around Sam’s neck, and jerking him down hard until they were almost level. He kissed him back with so much passion, Sam had to pull away just so he could take a breath.

“So, did you pick a bed?” Sam smiled, wrapping his arms around Gabriel’s waist to drag him in.

“Yeah, I did.” He answered slowly, swaying in Sam’s embrace. His eyes drifted to the middle of the room. “Yours.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel stretched out next to Dean on the small bed, leaning in to stop himself from rolling off the edge. The cramped conditions and single beds only confirmed his theory they needed a place to stay where they could be together without the threat of catching something, or living off whatever they could manage to salvage from a broken vending machine. Castiel rested his head on Dean’s chest and closed his eyes. He was still so tired, and the ache inside him had returned. It stopped him from getting comfortable enough to be able to fall asleep.

“Gabriel told me what happened after I left.” Castiel said quietly. He felt Dean tense underneath him. He managed to stay calm and listen to what he had to say. Castiel told Dean about their father, and why his brother had always been so frightened the same thing was going to happen to him if he ever got taken by an alpha. Dean tightened his arm around Castiel’s waist.

“I’m so sorry, Cas. It’s sad people still think like that.” Dean kissed the top of Castiel’s head. “It’s not right.” Castiel let Dean pull him close. 

“I suppose it doesn’t really matter anymore. I was just lucky I found an alpha like you.”

“I’m the lucky one.” Dean gave him a soppy grin. Castiel loved how Dean got so slushy and dewy eyed after sex. His post-coital cuddles were like a vise, and Castiel didn’t think he could ever get tired of it. He snuggled into his mate with a sated sigh. “Even if your brother still hates me.”

“I think he’s warming to you.” Castiel mumbled sleepily.

“He’s kinda grown on me as well.” Dean laughed. “At least he stayed to make sure you were safe, and what he did earlier was bad-ass, even by my standards.” He never thought he would actually admit to finding Gabriel even vaguely tolerable. They had all come such a long way since Dean fell in love with that timid little omega before he even knew his name. They stayed wrapped together while Dean stroked Castiel’s hair until they finally fell asleep.

Dean spent most of the night practically draped over Castiel. The lights outside the window flickered through the dark cover of evening when the rest of the world was quiet. Castiel shifted restlessly when Dean murmured in his sleep. Natural canine senses were just responding to the beautiful scent that filled every single breath.

His subconscious instincts were desperate to protect Castiel and the tiny pup that was growing inside him.

Α ✫ Ω 


	43. Chapter 43

Gabriel finally released the death grip on Sam’s neck after stealing another kiss, his eyes still closed in bliss. He opened them slowly and stared up at him. His mouth was still tingling. The quiet moment was broken by the sound of their gentle laughter while they stared at each other uncertainly in the dim light.

“Wow... that was nicer than I imagined.” Gabriel murmured, with an awkward smile. He ran his tongue across his mouth to treasure the taste of Sam’s lips.

“So, you’ve imagined it, huh?” Sam teased. The relief his kiss had been returned made him feel a hope he had never known. Gabriel was still flushed with the heat of passion and the shameful admission he had in fact spent many long hours thinking about it.

“You know, I didn’t mean to be so forward just then. I didn't really expect you to feel the same, Sam. I would never try and make you do something you didn’t want to.” His gaze filtered back to the space where the two single beds were pushed together. 

“I think I might know how you feel about all that alpha stuff, Gabe.” 

Gabriel laughed again. Sam loved the way his nose crinkled up at the end when he smiled. He sure hadn’t seen it often enough.

“Point taken.”

Sam fumbled to take his hand, surprised how hard Gabriel gripped his fingers in return. Sam never thought much about being with an alpha before - especially one with a dick, but he couldn’t deny how deeply Gabriel had somehow slipped beneath his skin and into his heart.

“I don’t really know how I’m supposed to feel, but I think I want it.”

“Sam.” Gabriel started hesitantly, but Sam pressed a single finger to his lips to keep him quiet. He knew he was still fighting unexpected emotions, wanting to make sure Sam was with him because he wanted to be, and nothing else. Gabriel would never try to use his alpha status to get him into bed. The pain he went through with his mother and Castiel had never been forgotten. Gabriel was many things, but a hypocrite certainly wasn’t one of them. Sam didn’t want to talk about that right now. He wanted to forget about everything else, just for a little while. Let Gabriel erase all the weariness and fear with his hands and his mouth, and his deep whispered promises. Gabriel wasn’t exactly the type to fuck on a first date. Sam could wait. Right now he just wanted to be close to him, kiss him until he didn’t think he could take any more. Gabriel took the hint and gently eased Sam backwards onto the bed. “I know one thing.” Gabriel’s mouth spread into a wide smile when he shoved Sam down and climbed on top of him so he could wrap himself around those perfect thighs. “Dean is gonna be pissed.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean was still covering Castiel with his body when he woke up early next morning, the insistent sound of Sam’s voice calling him through the door. He stretched out, eventually managing to pull himself away from Castiel for a few seconds. He hadn’t slept so well for days. His mouth quickly broke into a contented smile when he looked down at his beautiful mate still sleeping beside him. Castiel had slipped his hands between the soft pillows, head resting on his arms. He looked so peaceful.

“Get dressed.” Sam called loudly. “We’re in room four. Hurry up.” Sam was determined to get everything out in the open once and for all, with the exception of telling Dean he spent most of the night with his mouth attached to Castiel’s brother. He would save that one for later.

Dean absently traced his fingers over the space where Castiel tried to bite him. The skin felt smoother than he expected. There was no hint of dried blood, so he walked through to the bathroom and stretched out his neck to examine it in the mirror. Dean couldn’t explain why he felt so disappointed Castiel still hadn’t managed to leave a mark deep enough to scar. It was like something was missing somehow. Dean gently shook Castiel awake, insisting he was going to shower first and sent Castiel off to meet up with the others. Dean gave him a sweet kiss and the promise he would be along as soon as he freshened up.

Dean looked uncomfortable when he arrived twenty minutes later and saw they were all sitting around the table with his lore book spread out in front of Sam. He had a very serious expression on his face. Dean’s stomach lurched with unease when he realized Gabriel was watching Castiel like he was scared he might break.

“What the hell is this?” Dean asked suspiciously. Sam didn’t even look up.

“Family meeting.”

“What?”

“Just sit down.” Sam ordered. There was something so commanding about his voice, Dean knew his compliance wasn't optional. Sam looked like he always did when he knew something Dean didn’t. As usual, his first line of defense was to insult him.

“Are you on something? Or just get one too many taps on the ass last night?”

“Dean.” Castiel warned lightly. He had also noticed the flirtatious glances that passed between Sam and Gabriel. He didn't point out his fiercely independent alpha brother seemed to have rapidly degenerated into a beta’s lap dog. Castiel’s eyes flicked up. He wanted to give Gabriel a supportive smile, but he was just staring at Dean in disbelief. He didn’t blink for some considerable time.

“Dean.” Sam easily dismissed his cheap shot, but it set him wondering just how much they suspected about how his relationship with Gabriel had suddenly gone in a new and unexpected direction. He tried to search Castiel’s face for some hint, but it was like looking at a blank canvas. Castiel wasn't sure why Sam had called them all together, and his stomach felt particularly unsettled that morning. “Fortunately for the world in general, not everybody’s mind is in the same place as yours.”

“It’s not me you should be worried about.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Sam argued, suddenly feeling defensive.

“Nothing, Sam.” Castiel answered tactfully. “It’s nothing.”

Dean sniffed, making a sulky half-assed attempt at lifting up one corner of his book, and dropping it down just as quickly. “Sam, why do you keep pawing over this? You told me a long time ago you thought it was all a load of crap.”

Sam sighed.

“Well, I was wrong. It’s actually very informative. It seems like most of this is surprisingly accurate, and I shouldn’t have written it off like I did when I was young.”

“Okay, I’ll bite.” Dean answered slowly. “Is this what you want to talk about?” He didn’t know how to feel about the closeness developing between Sam and Gabriel lately. They had obviously discussed something in secret that instigated the need for this ridiculous meeting. He was always the last to know. Sam nodded, rotating the book so it was facing his brother. He pointed at one of the pictures. An artistic representation of a pregnant A-type, with all the relevant bits sketched over the top of the standard outline like the ones Dean remembered from biology class in high school. When he bothered to turn up. “That dude looks like he’s knocked up.”

“Yes, Dean. I know. He’s a special omega - like Cas.” Sam added pointedly, hazel eyes sliding up while he watched Dean process that particular piece of information in his own sweet time. He was staring at the drawing with his head tilted slightly to one side, but nothing seemed to have clicked. “Dean, do you remember what I told you about why Cas is different?”

“Yeah, obviously.” Dean snapped, scrambling to drag out that specific memory from a long forgotten conversation. If he was honest, he couldn’t remember most of it because so much had happened since then, but he wasn’t going to give his brother the satisfaction. “You said he was like that andro genius - whatever thing you said. I’m not an idiot, Sammy.” Sam bit into his cheek. 

“You were the one who used to tell me about this stuff all the time, Dean. I don’t know why I should have to explain it to you now.”

“Yeah, but I already told you I might have missed a few bits and it was years ago when I got that, anyways.”

“Okay.” Sam replied. His voice was softer now. He needed Dean to be calm when he told him the real reason he wanted to call a meeting. “This isn’t exactly easy for me to talk about but I’m worried about you, Cas. I think I might know now why you’ve been having such a rough time lately.” Castiel sat up a little straighter. Dean could see how nervous he was by the way he shuffled around in his seat. “I’ve checked this a hundred times, Dean. When I say I’m going to do research - I actually do research. I don’t think it’s a coincidence Cas has those vasopressin chemicals I told you about. We already figured out they only seem to react when he's with you. They’re so similar to oxytocin, I think it must be fundamental to completing your pair-bond.”

“But I bit him already.” Dean said adamantly, pulling down his shirt to reveal the small marks Castiel left the night before. “Look. I tried to get Cas to bite me back, but I don’t think it even broke the skin. I don’t know what else to do.” Sam hummed thoughtfully to himself. He was trying desperately to understand what more they could do to make sure they were bonded, as well as mated.

“The bite might have something to do with it, but that’s not why I mentioned it. Oxytocin is a birth hormone, Dean. It gets released during labour so it makes it easier for a baby to be pushed out. Sometimes a special pregnancy like that can be at risk if the body tries to reject it. Maybe 'cause the bond isn't complete.” Sam tried to explain everything he knew as simply as he could, but Dean was either being excessively dense or determined to dismiss it. Sam would have to just come right out and say it. “I think your dependency on each other means too many of these chemicals must have something to do with why Cas got sick like that. If all this is true, then there’s only one thing to explain what’s been happening to him.” He glanced between Dean and Castiel. They were both peering at him expectantly. Dean gestured with one hand for him to just spit it out already. “He’s pregnant.”

"Shut up." Sam could only remember two specific times in his entire life when Dean was lost for words and both of them involved Castiel. He was quiet for a long time, eventually shaking his head in denial. “Just because it says so in there? No, I don’t believe you.”

“Dean, just read it.” Sam insisted patiently. “Read it, and tell me that’s not exactly what’s been going on with Cas.” Everything went completely silent while Dean reluctantly indulged his brother and started to read through the text underneath the picture. Sam could actually hear the pulse throbbing in his neck as he scanned the last paragraph. The sickness, the aches and the bleeding. Dean had even noticed the change in his scent after he claimed him. There were too many similarities for it to be a coincidence. He could hardly breathe.

“He’s pregnant.”

Sam nodded his head. Just once.

“Yeah, I think so.”

Dean’s jaw was practically hanging open while he stared at the page in shock.

“Fuck.”

Castiel looked at Dean in alarm. He wasn’t sure what was going through his head, but his expression was caught somewhere between astonishment and terror. He felt the familiar wash of nausea turn his stomach.

“I’m going to be sick.”

“I'm sorry, Cas. I just couldn’t keep my suspicions to myself any longer.” Sam gave him a sympathetic smile. Castiel covered his mouth with one hand.

“No - I really am going to be sick.” He muttered through his fingers. He shot out of his seat and fled the room before anyone could stop him. Dean didn’t even seem to realize anyone else was still there with him.

“Dean.” Sam reprimanded, nudging his arm hard. “You think you could maybe just once manage to control your mouth long enough not to put your foot in it?” Dean just looked up at his brother with huge eyes. Sam sighed and pulled the book away from him so he could focus. “Go after him, you moron.”

“It’s my fault.” Dean whispered suddenly. Sam didn’t think he even heard him. Dean felt a rush of guilt with how selfish he'd been when he asked Castiel to stop taking his suppressants. “I just thought he might be more responsive to me if he stopped trying to hide what he is.” He didn’t know Castiel secretly withdrew his pills because he was so desperate to please Dean. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy about it.”

“Well, maybe you should tell Cas that.” Sam said gently. “From the look on his face when he left, you made him think you don’t want it.”

“'Course I fucking want it.” Dean was frowning so hard, deep lines formed around his eyes. “Why the hell would he think that?” Sam shook his head.

“Because the only response you managed to form was a four letter word.”

“Shit, Cas.” Dean gasped, his senses returning with a bump. He ran to the door and yanked it open, calling out Castiel’s name into the morning air. He was nowhere to be seen, so Dean hurried back to their room. Castiel was retching into the sink. Dean came up behind him, rubbing his hand up and down the middle of his back while he heaved up the last of his breakfast.

“I’m sorry, baby… but you gotta give me a minute for that to go in.” Dean was breathing heavily when he wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist. “You okay?”

Castiel nodded, reaching for a towel to wipe his mouth. His eyes were still watering from the effort of emptying his stomach. Dean insisted he lay down on the bed until he felt better. Castiel’s eyes were closed, but Dean knew he wasn’t asleep.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam returned half an hour later after an impromptu visit to the nearest pharmacy. He didn’t even bother knocking when he reached their room, and Dean jumped up with a start. Castiel carefully pushed himself off the bed when they heard Sam come in. He didn't want to throw up again.

“Here, you need to be sure.” Sam said, thrusting a small paper bag into Castiel’s hands. He waited for him to open it.

“Sam.” Castiel replied adamantly when he realized what was inside. “I’m not going to pee on a stick.”

“Castiel.” Gabriel said firmly. He was standing close to Sam’s side. A little too close for Dean’s liking, but he let it go for now. Gabriel had been trying really hard not to use his status to influence any of his brother’s decisions lately, but if there was any possibility at all it was true, then he was prepared to make an exception. “Listen.” His voice mellowed. “I know you’re scared, but we need to know. _You_ need to know.” Castiel was so overwhelmed by denial and the idea any of them were actually taking it seriously, he couldn’t find anything to say. “We'll wait outside and give you some privacy, okay?” Gabriel forced a smile. Castiel reluctantly took the carton out of the bag with a sigh. Dean waited outside the bathroom door. Seconds felt like hours while he paced backwards and forwards just to give himself something else to concentrate on.

When Castiel emerged a few minutes later Dean could see he was shaking. All the colour had drained from his face. He was twisting the stick in trembling fingers and biting into his lip when he held up the plastic wand and waited. Dean stared in amazement at the two pink lines while they developed in front of his eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Dean.” Castiel held his breath.

“Sorry?” Dean echoed quietly. His heart felt like it jumped right up into his mouth when the realization finally hit him hard. “Don’t say that, you got nothing to be sorry for.”

“You didn’t want this.”

“Hey.” Dean objected passionately. “Don’t you ever say I don’t want you, or my pup... that’s bullshit, Cas.” Dean's mouth suddenly broke into a mushy lop-sided grin when he thought about the little baby they made together. He tilted Castiel’s face up to make sure he was looking straight into his eyes. Castiel felt a sob coming when he saw how much they had misted over. “I love you so much. You’re all I want, all I’ve ever wanted.” Dean pulled Castiel close and held him against his chest like he would never let go. “But I wanna be able to provide for you. Both of you.” He added softly, instinctively reaching down to rub a calming caress over Castiel’s swollen stomach. A little flutter of excitement rose up inside him. “I’m supposed to look after you, but I haven’t made a very good job of it so far.” Castiel never wanted Dean to think he'd failed him.

“Dean, you don’t know how much you’ve done for me.” Castiel replied, but Dean didn’t think he had done nearly enough and it was unbearable.

“But it’s my job to give you everything you need, and I can’t do that, Cas. I don’t have anything to give you except my heart.”

Castiel reached down and squeezed his hand as tightly as he could. 

“Dean, you fucking idiot.” Castiel gave him a little slap, his own eyes now filled with tears. “That’s all I want.” Dean drew him even closer and pushed his fingers between the strands of Castiel’s hair. He tipped his head down to kiss him again.

“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry, Cas.” Dean breathed into his mouth. “I’ll look after you, I promise.”

“I know you will, Dean.” Castiel sniffled and dabbed at his eyes. “I’m just so scared right now. We have no money, nowhere to live... and how the hell am I supposed to even think about anything after that. I’m not strong, like you.” Castiel had no idea how he could possibly cope with a baby he never expected to have. Dean couldn't let him know he was just as scared. Castiel needed reassurance, not fear. He already suffered enough of that to last a lifetime.

“Then I’ll just have to be strong enough for both of us.”

They all understood they would have to keep running for now. The reality of bringing a little Winchester into the world had sobered Dean up in an instant. It was something he never imagined would happen but the more he thought about it, the more determined he was to make it right. Dean wanted to surround Castiel with every drop of love and affection he had and make sure their little pup would have the best chance at life he could ever hope to give.

Α ✫ Ω 


	44. Chapter 44

Dean swept one finger across each of Castiel’s cheeks in turn to wipe away the traces of two single tears that spilled from his eyes when Dean kissed him. He gently took his hand and pulled him away from the bathroom. Dean carefully eased Castiel onto the bed and lifted up his legs so he was lying on his side.

“Dean.” Castiel said patiently. “I’m fine.”

Dean ignored him and gave his pillow a quick plumping. He was standing next to the bed with both hands on his hips. Dean was worried Castiel’s fears might soon return once the reality had sunk in.

“Rest up, I think your ankles are swollen.”

“No they’re not.” Castiel protested with a gentle smile. Dean was apparently taking the protective father-to-be role to a whole new level. He sat down next to him on the edge of the bed and rubbed one hand affectionately up and down Castiel’s thigh.

“Sure you’re okay, baby?” Dean petted him shamelessly. “Let me know if you’re gonna heave again.” Castiel nodded, and tried to settle into a more comfortable position.

“I’m okay now. I don’t think I have anything left.”

Dean smiled back. He didn’t really want to leave his mate's side while he still felt so vulnerable, but he couldn’t stop his hands from reaching out to touch him. Dean forced himself to get up so Castiel could have some peace, covering him with the sheet before walking over to the window. He saw Sam and Gabriel waiting for them just outside their room. Dean looked back at Castiel before he blinked hard and peered outside again. He had to look twice just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. Nope. Gabriel’s hand was definitely resting on Sam’s ass. 

“Cas?” Dean gasped in astonishment.

“Hmm?” He still sounded sleepy when he turned to look at Dean over his shoulder.

“I was just messin’ before, but do you think something really is going on between Sam and Gabriel?”

“They do seem to like each other.” Castiel mumbled into the pillow. “Why?”

“'Cause your brother's got his paws all over Sammy.” Dean was staring out the window like a man possessed. He was itching to go out and say something but he didn’t want to leave Castiel alone. Now believing his pregnant omega had to have constant supervision in case he suddenly needed something. Castiel laughed quietly. Dean never seemed to think there was anything wrong with that when it was the other way around.

“I had a feeling Gabriel was sweet on him.” Castiel murmured. Dean managed to drag his eyes away from them long enough to stare at Castiel in surprise. He never even hinted at it before. Dean thought back to all the private glances and shy little smiles that passed between them lately. It never occurred to him they might be screwing.

“Well, why didn’t you tell me?” Dean gaped, not sure why Castiel would keep something like that from him. Castiel couldn't believe Dean even had to ask, and tentatively rolled back over so he could talk to him. He rested his head on his hands and pulled up his knees.

“I didn’t know for sure, and until a few days ago you wanted to rip him apart.” Dean didn’t reply. He just grunted and carried on watching them through the glass. Sam eventually pulled away from Gabriel, nervously glancing over his shoulder like he wanted to make sure they were still alone. Gabriel must have suggested they go back to check on Castiel. Sam suddenly nodded, and they both started to wander back down the walkway. Dean quickly dropped the blind and tried to push that image out of his head before they got to the door. He didn’t want Sam to know he knew anything. Not yet. Dean pulled it open before either of them had the chance to knock.

“Well?” Sam asked expectantly. His eyes were so wide with anticipation he looked like an over-excited teenager. Dean deliberately avoided Gabriel’s piercing gaze. He nodded. “I knew it! I knew he was.” Sam grinned, stepping past his brother to make sure Castiel was alright. Dean wasn’t sure if Sam was happy because he was going to be an uncle, or because he was right. Again.

“Well, good for you.” Dean answered, as graciously as he could through the air of smug satisfaction Sam left in his wake. He could hear Gabriel let out a heavy sigh behind him. He followed Sam inside, but couldn’t quite bring himself to look at Dean. That wasn't the answer he wanted. Sam was helping Castiel to sit up by the time Gabriel finally calmed down enough to keep his voice steady.

“Are you sure?” Gabriel forced out. “Surely it must be too early to be making assumptions like that. Could you have made a mistake? Sam?” He insisted. Sam seemed to be doing the math in his head.

“Well… those tests are pretty accurate, and Cas must have a shitload of hormones by now.” Gabriel gave him a blank look. “We can always do another test. I think it said HCG levels double about every two days.” They all fell silent. None of them even pretended to understand what that meant. Sam couldn’t resist pointing out the obvious. “Shit, Dean. You must have knocked him up the first time you knotted him.” Sam smiled as wide as his mouth would stretch, and gave his brother a congratulatory slap on the back. “Could only happen to you.”

“Thanks.” Dean was trying hard not to show much emotion while Gabriel was studying him like that, but Sam knew his brother better than anyone. He could see the bright shine of happiness in those green eyes.

“But… how?” Gabriel stumbled. He knew almost nothing about the specifics of A-type physiology but he trusted Sam’s judgement. If he was convinced it was true, there was no reason to doubt it.

“He must have been fertile, is all. Did you get any pain or a weird feeling or anything recently, Cas?” Sam asked softly. “I don’t mean like you did yesterday. A couple of weeks ago, maybe?” Castiel looked at Dean, gasping in a shallow breath when a cruel memory suddenly surfaced.

“Yes. When Crowley had me, I had forgotten.” Castiel paused. “I thought at first I just felt ill because that place was so horrible.” Dean tensed. He really had tried to move past that. He certainly didn’t want reminding of how close he came to losing him. “A pain.” Castiel explained, when his mind cleared. “I had a pain and I thought my body looked different too.”

“Well, there you go then.” Sam confirmed. “You must have been changing then. Something like ovulating, but for your type of omega - and a dude." It sounded stupid even to him, but he couldn't deny something must have happened to let Castiel fall for a pup. "The lore seems to be quite complicated, but I know all this has something to do with your bonding.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think it was about joining your blood.” Sam replied. He didn’t really want to say any more until he was absolutely sure. He needed more time to study, but all Sam could think about right now was trying to get his own alpha past first base. He was lost in thought again when he heard Gabriel cough by his side. Dean missed the chance to ask what the hell he meant by that. His lip was hitched up at one side.

“I hate to ask but… how is he going to… you know?” Gabriel stammered. His cheeks flushed pink when it suddenly clicked his brother didn’t exactly have the right equipment to deal with the inevitable conclusion.

“Oh.” Sam was pulled from his daydream. “Yeah. Well, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, Cas, but I can’t think of another way to say it.”

“What?” Castiel panicked.

Sam hesitated.

“The same way it went in, I suppose.”

“Ew.”

“Gabe.” Sam warned. He couldn’t stop it from escaping his mouth when a particularly vivid image sprang to mind. Castiel looked terrified.

“Dean... I don’t think I can do that.” He gasped, a familiar treacherous wave of anxious fear flooding through his blood like a rush of adrenaline. Dean held his hand and hugged him while Sam continued, his eyes resting on Castiel the whole time. He was leaning heavily against his alpha's shoulder like he needed Dean to hold him up. He could feel Castiel’s pulse throbbing under his fingertips.

“Don’t think about it, Cas.” Sam said gently. “You don’t have to worry about that yet. I’m sure everything will be fine. You can’t be the first male omega to have gone through this. Nature will find a way.” He sounded a lot more convincing than he felt inside. Everyone always expected him to know what to do, and he was terrified of letting them all down. The persistent displays of empathy hid a constant storm of panic raging beneath his mask of calm. Sometimes it felt like he was drowning.

It didn’t seem to make any difference what anyone said after that. Castiel just wanted to lay down again before he passed out, and Gabriel was in no mood for small talk so he left his brother to rest and headed back to the other room to wait for Sam. Dean was at the window again before the sound of footsteps even faded away. Sam came over to him, lowering his voice so only Dean could hear. He glanced over at Castiel to make sure he was drifting off again. His eyes were closed.

“Gabriel wants us to go with him.”

“No, Sam.” Dean said quickly. He hated the fact he might be forced to rely on another man’s pity to be able to look after Castiel the way he wanted to. It was his duty as an alpha to make sure Castiel would always be safe. “I don’t want him to think I owe him something.”

“He wouldn’t, Dean. He’s not like that.” Sam was surprised how easy it was to defend him. “Right now, I don’t think we have any choice. We’re shit out of luck and you need to think about Cas. You can’t expect him to keep running like this. I'm sure he’ll be okay but we have no idea how this is gonna go, or how long he'll be able to carry a pup. It’s not going to be a normal pregnancy. Anything could happen, and we just don’t have the means to deal with an emergency. Gabriel has a home, and Cas has to be safe.” Sam stopped for breath when he finally finished his pitch. He knew Dean wanted Castiel to have everything he needed, and hoped that would be incentive enough for him to agree to go. “He just wants to help, Dean. What the hell is so wrong with that?”

“Nothing... but I’m a wanted man.” Dean argued. “Listen, maybe you and Gabriel should take Cas and let me make my own way.” He looked so broken, forcing himself to think about what was best for Castiel and the pup he was carrying. “The last thing I want is to have to leave him again, but I don’t wanna put him in danger either.” That would make him fall apart inside. “I love him, Sam.” Dean never admitted to something that sounded so raw and honest. Sam patted his brother’s shoulder.

“I know you do.” He smiled. “I really don’t think you two should be separated again, Dean. You know what happened last time. Cas needs you.”

Sam left Dean to think about what he said, promising he would come back later to see if they had made a decision, one way or the other. Dean watched him go with a heavy heart, knowing he had to put Castiel and the baby first. Dragging Sam around after him must have damaged him in ways Dean couldn’t even begin to imagine. He wasn’t going to do that to his family as well. He heard the gentle sound of rustling sheets behind him.

“I already knew Gabriel wants us to go back to the house.” Castiel murmured absently, watching Dean stare out across the dusty parking lot. He didn’t turn around, worried what else Castiel might have overheard. Castiel thought he saw Dean's shoulders drop. He just wanted to hold him again. 

“I honestly didn’t think you would ever want to go back there.” Dean sighed, after a quiet pause. It was becoming painfully clear they were running out of options, but he didn’t want Castiel to pick up on his sense of hopelessness. Dean could hardly stand to look at him when his voice was so soft and desperate. He should have protected him better.

“I never really thought about it before. I can’t pretend my memories of that place are happy ones but I don’t know, maybe Gabriel’s right. We need somewhere to go, Dean. You told me you would find a safe place for us before - ” Castiel couldn’t quite bring himself to say the words. His hand subconsciously drifted down to his stomach.

“I know, Cas... and I will.” Dean replied, with as much conviction as he could, not sure he was worthy of so much trust. “I made you a promise, and I’m not gonna break it.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam braved the nervous twist in his stomach when he shut the door and leaned up against it. He could see Gabriel was troubled, his mouth set in a tight line. Sitting hunched over on the bed and staring into space like he was waiting for something. Sam knew he was too proud to admit he just needed to talk. Sam sat down next to him. He could feel Gabriel tense when their bodies touched, just for a second before he reached up and smoothed his hand over Gabriel’s shoulder.

“You okay?” Sam asked quietly. Gabriel didn’t look up. His eyes were still fixed on some imaginary object of interest on the floor.

“No, I don’t think I am.” Sam leaned in even more. Gabriel could feel a hot stream of breath skim across the curve of his ear. He shivered. “I know you think I should be happy about it, but I can’t lie. I’m really scared for him.” Sam wanted to comfort him, but he wasn’t sure their relationship had reached the cuddling stage yet and he didn’t want to ruin it before it really started. There was something safe and warm about the way Gabriel made him feel when he kissed him. Sam didn’t know what it was or why he wanted it so badly, but he was prepared to give him the chance to prove he hadn't made a mistake in trusting him with his heart.

“Of course you are, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Sam shuffled his butt up the bed a bit and reached for Gabriel’s hand.

“But I don’t do this.”

“Do what?” A pulse of alarm made Sam draw back. Maybe Gabriel had been thinking about what they were getting themselves into and decided he just wasn’t ready.

“Admit that I’m scared, that I need someone.” Gabriel gave Sam a sideways glance.

“Do you? Need someone, I mean.”

Gabriel’s breath was coming so fast, he just nodded. Sam vaguely remembered thinking _fuck it_  before he grabbed Gabriel by the shoulders. He pushed a forceful kiss against his lips while he fumbled to remove the jacket and shirt that were the only barriers between his desire and the touch of warm, soft alpha. Gabriel hummed eagerly and dipped his tongue inside his mouth when Sam opened up to take him in. He was warm and responsive, and Gabriel finally gave in to the longing and kissed Sam as deeply as he could.

Gabriel curled one arm around Sam’s waist and tugged at the back of his shirt until he managed to yank it free of his jeans. Sam willingly let Gabriel ease him onto his back, letting his knees drop apart when he climbed on top of him and pushed his body firmly between Sam's thighs. Gabriel’s hands were shaking when his fingertips brushed against Sam’s skin. He nudged at the fastener, and Sam tilted his hips up to let Gabriel slide the material down over his ass so he had enough space to fit both hands down the back of his shorts. Gabriel caressed his butt until Sam was gasping into his mouth and begging him for more.

Canine instincts were in danger of being set free when Sam was moaning beneath him. He couldn’t stop himself from rutting up against him when his mouth trailed down Sam’s neck and nipped lightly at the curve of his jaw. Sam arched his body up to meet the slack kisses Gabriel was pressing against his throat. He thought for a minute Gabriel was going to bite him, but he moved away from the pulse on his shoulder and started to suck a line of gentle marks all the way down his chest and across his stomach. Gabriel reached up, tightening his fingers in Sam’s hair while he fought against the burning need to assert his dominance and take him right there. He never even thought about claiming a beta before, but he knew how much he wanted Sam. There was nothing he wouldn’t have done for him. He suddenly felt very inexperienced, painfully unprepared to give sufficient pleasure to someone who had captured him so completely.

“Sam.” Gabriel struggled to catch his breath, pitifully helpless to control everything he always hated in his father. He stroked the back of his hand tenderly down the side of Sam’s face. He was met by a pair of seductive eyes, and it took everything he had to stop himself from biting into all that beautiful exposed flesh that was laid out beneath him.

“What’s the matter?” Sam frowned. It was just getting good.

“It’s not right, not like this.” Gabriel suddenly scrambled off him. He leaned forward to try and hide his arousal, but Sam already felt how hard he was when he was stretched out on top of him. “I don’t want to do this in a skeezy motel room in the middle of nowhere.” He sighed. “You deserve better.” Sam pushed himself up on his elbows. His jeans were still hanging open at the front and Gabriel could feel his eyes wandering.

“Gabe.” Sam said calmly, sliding his hand into the crease between Gabriel's hip and thigh. He growled when Sam’s fingertips brushed against the side of his swollen dick. He knew it wasn’t on accident, surprised Sam was so determined to show Gabriel what he wanted. “I appreciate the sentiment, but that’s not really what this is about, is it?” Gabriel didn't answer. “You’re not like him.” 

Gabriel stared down at Sam when he gently slipped one hand around the back of his neck and pulled him in again. It never ceased to amaze him how this shy and unassuming beta seemed to understand him in a way no one else ever had.

“I know.” Gabriel replied. He dipped his head for another taste of Sam’s lips. “But I don’t want to become him, either.”

Sam lay back and let Gabriel hold him close for a very long time.

Α ✫ Ω 


	45. Chapter 45

Sam slowly blinked his eyes open when the morning sun streamed in through the blinds and made him squint. The drowsy haze filtered out of his mind while his senses started to clear away the comfortable feeling that settled over him when he was pressed up against Gabriel’s side. The heady smell of tempered musk still hung in the air. Sam lazily stretched out his long limbs and reached blindly for Gabriel with searching fingers. The cloud of sleep instantly disappeared when Sam realized he was alone. He sat up with a jerk, twisting his head to one side to call out for his alpha. There was no reply. Sam hummed a happy sigh when welcome memories of Gabriel’s possessive hands all over him returned with consciousness. He couldn’t resist a little smile when he noticed his pants were still undone. Sam could hear the muffled sounds of an occasional truck passing by on the road outside, but everything else was quiet and peaceful. It had been a long time since he woke up without a knot of worry lodged in his stomach. He was about to get up when the motel door swung open and Gabriel pushed his way inside with a nudge of his shoulder. Most of him wasn’t even visible behind a precarious tower of grocery bags he was carrying. Sam could just see a rolled up road map sticking out one of his pockets.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Sam yawned. The door closed shut again. “What time is it?” Gabriel’s amber eyes slowly appeared over the top of the pile when he lowered his arms. He seemed surprised to see Sam was actually awake.

“About ten after twelve, I think.” Gabriel answered, breathless from the brisk walk and the heat of the late morning. He set everything down at the side of the bed. “I didn’t like to, you needed the rest.” His voice suddenly seemed much softer than Sam remembered. Awkward and unassured. So different from the stubborn dogmatic alpha he was before Sam had broken through all those defenses it had taken him years to perfect. “I thought you might be hungry, so I brought you some breakfast, well… lunch.” Gabriel dared an experimental smile. He wasn’t sure if Sam would take the thoughtful gesture for what it was. Gabriel didn't want him to think he had regressed to a primal need to provide sustenance for a potential mate to somehow prove his worth. He half-expected Sam to congratulate him for being able to walk upright and discovering fire.

The smell of fresh coffee coming from one of the mysterious packages was wonderful, but Sam still felt very shy when Gabriel stared at him like that. Sam wondered just how long he spent watching him sleep before he left to stock up. He instinctively covered his body with his hands when the loaded silence seemed to drop into the space between them. There was something much deeper behind it that was really quite tender and sweet.

“Thanks.” Sam muttered, leaning in to reach for one of the paper bags. He pressed a light kiss of gratitude to Gabriel’s lips before he could stop himself. They stared at each other across the gap. Gabriel slowly sucked his bottom lip behind his teeth. Sam swallowed hard when he noticed a sharp tooth just like Dean’s pushing down into his mouth. He had never really seen them up close like that before. Sam fished around inside the bag to distract himself from whatever that was that ran through his veins and made his cheeks heat up. “You didn’t have to do that.” 

Gabriel seemed to be thinking carefully about his reply. Sam wondered if he was going to say something profound, but he just gave Sam a hearty pat on the back. “What, are you kidding?” He laughed. “You’re always hungry.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean spent most of the morning dividing his time between stroking calming lines down the middle of Castiel’s back, and peering out the window. He hadn’t said anything to anyone, but he still couldn’t shake the feeling of restlessness that made him jump every time he heard the rumble of tyres spitting up the dust outside or the muted blare of a distant siren. Convinced they would come for him sooner or later. As much as he lied to himself or pushed those emotions deep into his subconscious, a little voice always piped up in his head and told him he wasn’t allowed to be happy. Dean was scared shitless, and that was never something he did well. All he wanted was to be with Castiel and show him every day how much he loved him. The thought all of it could be taken away in an instant killed him inside. Now he wasn’t just responsible for one life, but two - and that really meant something.

Dean stayed patiently by Castiel’s side for the best part of an hour before he realized he was definitely out for the count, so he forced himself to reach for his lore book and flick through the chapter Sam pointed out earlier. Dean had a sneaking suspicion Sam might be busy with Gabriel for a while, still not sure how he was supposed to feel about that. He deliberately forced the stray thoughts away, flopping open the pages and settling more comfortably in his seat. He looked again at the picture of an A-type that made him curse out loud when he saw it for the first time. Now it made his heart flutter knowing he would be able to watch his pup grow inside Castiel, filling him out until his belly was round and heavy. Dean stared at the drawing for a little while with a serene half-smile pulling at his lips. He spent another twenty minutes at least reading about their pair-bond and absorbing every detail he could. He didn’t understand why he hadn’t taken the time to do it before. Everything he needed to know about how to make sure they were joined forever was laid out right there in front of him. Sam had hinted at it, but he wasn’t an alpha. Dean’s instincts told him exactly what he had to do to complete it.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam ate almost everything Gabriel brought for him, leaning back with a contented sigh and rubbing one hand aimlessly over his stomach. Gabriel hardly said a word since he got back but now Sam had finished eating, there was no excuse not to tell him what was on his mind. Sam knew what he wanted to talk about before he finished the first syllable.

“Are you really sure about Castiel? Is there any chance you could be wrong?” Gabriel asked quietly. He seemed to be hoping Sam would be able to reassure him everything was fine and he just made a terrible mistake, or bought a dodgy pregnancy test.

“Why is that so important to you?” Sam was genuinely excited about the new life his brother had created. He really couldn’t understand why Gabriel didn’t share his enthusiasm. “I know it was something nobody expected, but you don’t know Dean like I do. I saw how much this means to him. I’ve never seen him look like that before.” Gabriel promised he would try to at least pretend he was alright for Castiel’s sake. Sam could tell by the sincerity in his voice he really meant it this time. A quick grope in their motel room probably helped to change his mind.

“What did you mean about that blood thing?” Gabriel was fiddling nervously with the plastic coffee lid. Sam knew he was only using the question as a distraction, but decided to humour him anyway.

“What I said earlier?” Sam prompted. Gabriel nodded. “I’m not sure how it works ‘cause I don’t really know what happens when an alpha claims a mate.” Sam hesitated, glancing up at Gabriel expectantly. He didn’t comment. “I saw the bite on Cas that time, but that’s all. Maybe it does mean the baby... I don’t know.” Sam could sense Gabriel’s eyes were fixed on his neck when he mentioned it. “They made it together, so I suppose their blood is already joined in their pup but… I know Dean thinks something’s still missing. I mean, everything I know about alpha lore and pair-bonds I got from a book. I’m not exactly speaking from experience.” Gabriel was still really quiet. Sam had no idea he was thinking just how much he would like to change that right now. He had suppressed those instincts for so long, Sam would just have to be patient if he decided he really did want Gabriel to mate him. “I’ve been thinking that Cas being pregnant _must_ mean they’re true mates. Some of that stuff I was reading earlier made out that only special omegas like him can carry a pup. That must make it complete somehow.” He understood how improbable it was Dean and Castiel would have come together in such unlikely circumstances unless they were just meant to be. It was still difficult for Sam to accept all the lore Dean had been spouting at him for as long as he could remember. “I honestly think you should talk to Cas about it.” Sam said suddenly, pushing down the lump in his throat making it hard to swallow when he thought about what it must feel like to be knotted. “He knows you’re not happy about the baby and he’s such a beautiful soul, Gabe.” Sam’s voice was full of emotion. He always felt like he should look out for Castiel somehow, and that was even more important to him now. “He needs all the support he can get. I hate to say it, but I’m gonna have to go back to the apartment and try to get the rest of our stuff. We have nothing right now, and I can’t leave it all behind. I want you to help them stay safe and look out for Cas while I'm gone.” Sam heard Gabriel sigh while he took in all that information. He mentioned doing that before, but Gabriel didn’t like it. Sam touched his arm and ran one finger along the edge of his sleeve. “Cas knows Dean loves him, but that’s not the same as having family behind you. You’re all he’s got.”

Gabriel nodded slowly. Sam was right, as usual. He really was insanely perceptive, and seemed to have the uncanny ability of always making things seem much better than they actually were. Gabriel drained the last of his coffee before they started to clean up the room together. Then they would head back to see Dean and Castiel to have a long overdue conversation Gabriel wasn't looking forward to at all.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel turned over onto his back when Dean slinked both hands inside his t-shirt to caress all that warm soft skin that always seemed to melt under his fingertips. He had tried so hard to let Castiel rest, but he couldn’t keep away from him any longer. Dean just had to touch him. Castiel's eyes were still heavy with sleep, the blue only just visible under the dark lashes that flicked up to meet him.

“Hey.” Dean whispered gently, pressing a tender kiss to Castiel's lips.

“Are you alright?” Castiel said uncertainly, head tilted to one side when Dean’s expression suddenly grew serious. His silence betrayed him. “What is it? Is something wrong?” Castiel asked, letting Dean ease between his legs. Dean was careful to slide his mate's body to one side so he wouldn’t be pressing down on top of his pup. Castiel knew by the glint in Dean's eyes he disturbed him for a reason.

“No, nothing’s wrong.” Dean said, his hand lingering a little longer than necessary on Castiel’s stomach. It already felt much fuller than Dean remembered, and delicate curves had developed on his hips that weren't so obvious before. “I’m sorry I woke you, babe. I just wanted to make sure you’ll always be mine, Cas.” Castiel looked surprised he would ever doubt it, waiting for Dean to explain. He couldn’t seem to find the right words. Dean was always much better at describing the way he felt about Castiel with his hands and his mouth.

Dean knew now Castiel’s bite had to take for them to be bonded properly by blood, hoping he could persuade Castiel to let him make love to him again while they had the room to themselves. He keened under Dean’s seductive caresses and they were kissing hard before he was even fully awake. He let Dean take him right there, soon coming together with little panting gasps of pleasure. Dean sunk his sharp teeth into Castiel’s body again. He could feel his mate shudder around his dick when he was fastened deep inside him. Dean pulled him up quickly and gently eased Castiel’s open mouth over his shoulder. He held him fast by pushing his fingers into his hair.

“Bite me, Cas.” Dean begged breathlessly. Castiel’s teeth grazed the surface of Dean’s skin. “No, really bite me.” Dean insisted, holding him close to his neck. Dean suddenly felt a dull pain when Castiel clamped down on his throat and finally bit Dean hard enough to break the skin. Intense emotions surged through them both when his blood trickled over Castiel’s tongue. Dean hurriedly pulled his head up and forced their mouths together. He stroked his own blood-tipped tongue against the walls of the warm space Dean always felt like he could drown in.

“I love you, Cas. I love you so much.” Dean whispered into his mouth. Castiel inhaled a deep breath through his nose when their blood mingled together and bonded them forever. Castiel finally pulled away, his eyes wet with tears. He was clutching at his mate's neck, grasping to hold him close and suck the last droplets of his own blood from Dean's searching tongue while it thrust in and out of his mouth with a possessive desire that made him feel like his whole body was on fire. “What is it?” Dean asked nervously, staring at Castiel while beads of fresh blood spread out into two tiny pools on his shoulder. Castiel stayed silent while he held that searching green gaze. Dean was scared his knot was too much for Castiel to take while he was so sore. “Did I hurt you?”

Castiel shook his head softly but Dean felt unease settle deep in his stomach. The familiar warning of self-doubt crept through his body and convinced him he must have done something wrong. A smile started to pull at one side of Castiel’s mouth and all the anxiety just faded away. The blood was still drying on his lips when a sense of happiness flowed through him. Dean was complete at last.

 Α ✫ Ω 

The afternoon had almost totally worn away by the time they were all together again. Castiel couldn’t resist the urge to confirm his suspicions.

“So?” He asked quietly, as soon as Dean got up to use the bathroom. “You and Sam?” He looked between them both, but Gabriel was completely silent for almost half a minute. Sam purposefully reached out and wiggled his fingers towards Gabriel so he could show Castiel how much they wanted to be together. “I was wondering when you were going to get your head out your ass and realize you liked him.” Castiel smiled. There was a stilted awkwardness in the way Gabriel looked up at his brother for approval. Castiel knew he would have to wait a long time for him to admit how hard he was falling for Sam. Castiel decided he should probably let him come to terms with that in his own time. Gabriel didn’t really know what Castiel expected him to say about it, and left them to talk without him.

“I think it’s wonderful.” Castiel screwed up his nose with delight. Sam might really be the one to dissolve the pain that still haunted him, even after so many years.

“All I ever wanted for him was to be happy.” Castiel admitted honestly. “To be loved.” Sam blushed at that. He wasn’t sure Gabriel’s affinity to him could be classed as love, but he quite liked the sound of it. “He’s sacrificed so much. First for our mother, and then for me. I know me being an omega was a burden on him. I _know_ it was.” Castiel added, when Sam opened his mouth to protest. “He’s an alpha, Sam. It’s in his nature to want to be mated. To be able to care for someone like you. I think he’s a lot more like Dean than either of them would care to admit.”

They both laughed quietly at the irony of Gabriel quickly becoming everything he always condemned in Dean. Maybe now he could finally understand how wrong he had been about him. Sam’s laughter slowly died away. He looked serious when he thought about the journey that still stretched out before them. He knew in his heart they stood a better chance of getting away alone, but he didn’t think that was even an option for Dean and Castiel anymore. They couldn’t be parted for long, and now their pair-bond was complete they would be even more dependent on each other than Sam could ever have imagined. He kept most of his fears to himself about the specifics. Without the other half of his pair-bond, an omega could get sick. Sick to the point of never being able to come back from that loss, and pining away into nothingness with a broken heart. Sam didn’t even want to think about how that might end. Dean would never be able to bear it. He came out the bathroom just as Sam summoned up enough courage to tell him he was leaving.

“Dean, I’ve decided we need to salvage what we can before it’s too late. I’ll go back and get as much stuff as I can carry and drop the key off with Jess. I’m pretty sure we can trust her. If you ever get settled she can send it on, and - ” He paused for a second when he looked straight into Dean’s eyes. They were fixed hard on Sam’s face like he knew what was coming next. “I’m going alone.” He deliberately set his mouth in defiance but Dean wasn’t listening.

“No, you’re not.” 

Sam was ready for him.

“I’m not gonna leave a trail of breadcrumbs behind us, Dean. You can’t go. If you wanna put yourself out there like that, you might as well just go knock on Crowley’s door with a machete in your hand.”

“You’re not going on your own, man.” Dean was adamant. “It's too dangerous. I’m not letting anyone risk themselves for me. Never, Sam... never again.” He added, his eyes drifting instinctively towards Castiel. Gabriel was watching it all with concern. If Sam was right about Castiel’s condition, there was no way he was going to stand back and say nothing while Dean dragged him from state to state because he couldn’t bear to be parted from him for a second.

“You have to stay here, Castiel.” Gabriel forced out. Dean felt his heart break when he saw the look of devastation in Castiel’s eyes. They had finally completed their bond and declared their love for each other as true mates. The kiss and their unborn pup now joined them by blood, but they still had a long way to go to be safe.

“God help me, I don’t wanna be away from you, Cas, but he's right. You can't come, and I won’t let Sam go alone.” Dean hoped his mate would understand. He turned away, the pain of even thinking about leaving Castiel behind evident in every line on his face. There was no way he would ever risk taking his baby anywhere near that place again. Castiel couldn’t stand it. 

“I don’t know what to do.” He whispered to Sam, panic rising inside him.

“Maybe you should just tell Dean you love him.”

“He knows I do.” Castiel replied, without even having to think about how much he meant it. Castiel realized he started falling in love with Dean the second their lips touched and sealed their fates together. That first kiss had taken Castiel’s breath away and made him feel things he never thought he could. The moment his alpha swept him up in his arms and rescued him from Crowley’s basement, Castiel knew in his heart he would never love anyone else.

“But have you ever said it? Ever told him how much you care about him?” Sam asked, a gentle expression softening his features. He didn’t press for an answer straight away and let Castiel take a moment to search his memory. Dean had told him more than once he loved him, and Castiel had tried to show he felt the same in the way he touched his face and snuggled into him whenever his arms were wrapped around him. Something had always stopped him from saying those three little words Dean had longed to hear from the moment he had taken Castiel as his own. He ran to Dean, and almost threw himself against him.

“I won't try to stop you but please, _please_ be careful.” Castiel kissed Dean on the mouth and rested his head on his chest as a goodbye. “I love you.” Dean just stared at his mate while those beautiful words drifted over his senses and finally made him whole. He closed his eyes and held Castiel tighter than he ever had before.

They made a few simple preparations while Dean gave Gabriel strict instructions he was never to leave Castiel’s side. They planned to set off as soon as it got dark so they could be back before first light. Dean hoped Castiel wouldn't suffer the pull of their separation while he slept, but he was already unsettled and on edge. He still felt dreadfully sick and Dean having to go anywhere at all was almost too much. They were never supposed to be apart. Dean couldn’t possibly imagine how bad it would get without him.

Α ✫ Ω 


	46. Chapter 46

Sam had enough sense to quit while he was ahead, deliberately smiling in all the right places when Dean started barking out instructions. He let his brother have the moment, letting Dean think he was prepared for them to go back to the apartment together while he planned out a secret escape in his head. Sam cared too much for Castiel to leave him alone with Gabriel for the night. He had grown to trust him, but Castiel needed Dean more than he could possibly understand. Sam had seen the raw wounds on Dean’s shoulder, and even as a beta, he picked up on how both their scents seemed to have changed. There was the same familiar sweetness of Castiel and the heady essence of Dean, but now they smelled almost identical. Like they had mingled seamlessly together to make something powerful and inviting. Sam fought back his alarm when he suspected Dean and Castiel had completed their bonding that morning and neither of them realized the true significance of what they'd done.

Sam knew a lot more about the terrible consequences of them being apart now they were bonded. Dean would never have considered going with him if he knew the truth. Sam was surprised nobody else seemed to have noticed. Gabriel’s senses should have been just as keen as Dean’s, but Sam knew many of his canine traits selectively manifested themselves when it suited him. There was no way Gabriel would want to admit they must have been screwing again. Sam really had his work cut out trying to persuade his alpha to do anything more than just kiss him.

Castiel grew even more despondent while they waited for dusk to fall. He kept pulling aimlessly at his shirt, like he was trying to alleviate an imaginary pain that wouldn’t let him rest. Dean felt horrible every time he glanced over and saw the shine in his eyes where he was trying hard to hold in all his emotion. He didn’t want Dean to see him cry. Sam had seen how unsettled Castiel was becoming with every minute that passed. It only served to strengthen his intentions to go alone before Dean had the chance to stop him.

Gabriel took the opportunity to make a few phone calls to check on the house and the business. Maybe even rent a car for them in case Dean finally agreed to let Castiel come back with him. Registered under a false name of course, and paid for with cash. Gabriel had been away so long, and done so many things he never believed himself capable of, it sometimes felt like he had stumbled into someone else’s life. He really hoped he would be able to persuade Sam to go home with him as well. A potential mate was the last thing he expected to find when he left that morning to rescue his brother from the dangers of some lust-fuelled alpha, but he wouldn't have changed a single thing. He promised to return by the evening to keep watch over Castiel. Dean gave him a parting glare that let Gabriel know exactly how much he would regret it if he wasn’t back on time.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in a dull and tedious wait.

Gabriel actually arrived back much sooner than anticipated, but Sam made him swear to stay and help him get away before Dean came looking. Gabriel wasn’t over keen on doing anything that was likely to piss Dean off at first, but after a passionate kiss, the warmth of Sam's body pressing against him and a few whispered promises, his resolve soon crumbled away to nothing.

Sam was careful to pull the door shut quietly while he scanned the empty parking lot. The light was still on in the room where Dean was getting ready to leave, but there were no shadows to break up the dim glow. The blind was still half drawn, so Sam knew he had a few minutes to duck under Dean’s radar and get away before he came searching for him. The sun was starting to set when he crept around the back of the building. The growing darkness gave him enough cover to slip away unnoticed.

Dean was pacing again. It always made Castiel nervous because it meant something was playing on his mind. This time he was fairly certain it was because of him. Castiel felt so pathetic and needy at the moment, making a point of blaming all his insecurity on the rush of maternal hormones now flowing through every vein. Dean was getting increasingly irritated by the fact Gabriel still hadn’t arrived. He gave Castiel a tender kiss on the cheek and went to fetch him. He marched purposefully down the walkway and banged hard on their door. He called out to his brother but there was no answer. Dean had a light backpack slung over one shoulder with a few essentials and a crowbar he found in one of the out-buildings in case the locks had already been changed. He was getting really hacked off while he waited in the cold, kicking aimlessly at the dusty ground. Dean slowly began to suspect Sam had screwed him over. His suspicions were confirmed for sure when Gabriel finally pulled the door open and stared back at Dean with apologetic eyes.

“I’m sorry... he left already.” Dean slammed his hand against the door with a grunt of disapproval. He demanded to know why Sam would do something like that, but he guessed the answer before he heard Gabriel say it. “He didn’t want you to risk going so close to the city again, and for some reason he was adamant you needed to stay with Castiel.” Dean sighed. Typical. _Typical, self-sacrificing, stubborn fucking bastard._

“Why the hell didn’t you stop him?” Dean shouted. “You’re supposed to be looking out for him.” Dean surprised himself at dropping a hint Gabriel’s status was Sam’s protective alpha. He inhaled a huge breath of air while he recovered, waiting for Gabriel to say something in his defense. Dean didn’t get the answer he wanted.

“Because I have no right to tell him what to do, _and_ because I think he has a point.” Gabriel blinked when he saw a flash of disappointment move across Dean’s eyes. “You should try and stay as far away from that place as you can. You might get arrested again and you have a duty to look after my brother. You know Castiel would never survive without you.” 

“I know that.” Dean said quietly, forcing his voice to stay calm. A low rumble in his throat made it clear he wasn’t very happy about it. “But Sam's my brother. I have to go after him before the dork gets into any trouble. Please go and watch Cas, Gabe. We’ll be back before you know it.” A tense moment stretched between them, filled with a silent struggle for dominance. Gabriel could see Dean already made up his mind, so he swallowed his pride and nodded. He watched the other alpha disappear from view.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean set off at a good pace. Cursing both of them under his breath for making him look like an idiot. The pain started slowly at first, so subtle and intermittent he put it down to cramp from running so fast, but then the heat came in and took his breath away. With every minute that passed it felt like his insides were burning their way out through his skin. Sweat was pooling heavily in the dip of his back, breaths coming thick and fast. Every step he took that pulled him away from Castiel was like a dagger behind his ribs.

He tried so hard to force himself to go on but in less than an hour, Dean could feel an almost physical pull leading him back to his omega and that safe familiar scent that was fading from his senses all too quickly. It was like a drug, calling him back with the potent promise of blissful relief from all the pain. Something ached deep inside, the strain of an invisible thread that had somehow bound them together. It stretched about as far as it could possibly go before Dean imagined it would suddenly snap and tug his heart right out of his body. He was so torn between following the trail to Sam and going back for Castiel. He knew he had to make a decision one way or the other before he was too exhausted from heat and pain to do either. Dean stumbled forward, falling on his knees in the dust and gasping for air. He pressed a fist into his chest to stop himself from collapsing in the dirt. There was no way he would be able to go any further. He instinctively knew it was something to do with being so far away from Castiel, but he hadn’t expected their new bond to be quite so entirely consuming. He cursed again and staggered back along the road as fast as he could on shaky legs.

Dean was almost panting with need by the time he got back to the motel. He could smell Castiel’s slick before he even opened the door, filling every part of him with a powerful sensation like lust and want, and the promise of release - all at the same time. He violently kicked the door open, targeted on the shape of Castiel’s outline leaning forward on all fours on top of the bed. Gabriel was standing over him and trying hopelessly to ease his discomfort, but nothing brought him relief. Castiel was almost incoherent with the fever ravaging his body and making him delirious with the pain of being away from Dean.

His face was pressed hard into the pillow, fighting for air with his ass tilted up high and instinctively rocking his hips against nothing. He was moaning softly in pain and clutching one hand against his stomach, rubbing at his belly to try and make the ache go away. Castiel suddenly sensed his mate behind him and frantically shouted his name. He needed Dean’s knot with a desperation like never before, and begged his alpha to take him and stop all the dreadful longing. Castiel was calling out for him, pleading with Dean to fill him up and stop his body from aching. Dean was settled behind him in an instant. Gabriel realized exactly what they were going to do. Neither of them even seemed aware he was still in the room, so he quickly retreated and left them alone. He could hear the primitive sounds of Dean’s low grunts and Castiel’s responsive moans before he even closed the door. Dean spread Castiel open wide and pushed into him with no mercy, no tenderness. Just the single possessive drive of needing to knot him and tie them together again. The base of his dick swelled quickly inside his mate, a rush of endorphins filling every sense. All the fear and want just faded away when Castiel stretched around him. They were still locked together when Dean came inside him. He pulled Castiel close and held him tight against his chest.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam never got to the city.

Gabriel phoned him and begged him to come back. There was something desperately wrong with Castiel, and he had no idea what to do. Sam didn’t know Dean was already being violently pulled back to him.

Castiel looked exhausted, still showing distinct signs of fever even after Dean’s knot had gone down enough to be able to ease him over onto his back to rest. Dean had one hand resting on the curve of Castiel’s stomach and the other stroking the sweat from his forehead with a gentleness no alpha should ever possess. Castiel was clearly in pain and still leaking slick by the time Sam made it back. His face was like thunder, only giving Dean one chance to get a sentence out before he started yelling at him.

“He just needed my knot to make it stop. It was like a heat, but I can’t understand why he would go into one if he’s already been bred.” Gabriel was standing close to Sam again, and looking decidedly uncomfortable. The moment he saw the state of Castiel, Sam knew he made the right call earlier in attempting to go alone. All his frustration came spilling out.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Sam shouted. “Why do you think I tried to get away without you in the first place? I saw the bite on you earlier, Dean. I knew you had to stay with Cas and you’re such a pig-headed asshole you just had to follow me anyway.” Dean pulled his mouth to one side. He hated when Sam told him off. It made him feel ridiculous. Sam pushed his brother out the way and leaned over the side of the bed. He reached out to rest the back of his hand on Castiel’s brow to see how hot he was. He was burning up again.

“He’s going to lose your baby if you keep pulling shit like that. You don’t know how intense these pair-bondings are, Dean. They’re so rare, even your book talks about them like they’re some kind of mythical fantasy used to explain those special fertile omegas like Cas.” Dean hung his head when those two simple words washed over him and cut deep. It was _his_ baby, _his_ pup that Castiel was keeping safe inside him while Dean let his misguided sense of loyalty almost destroy that little life before it had hardly begun. “Don’t ever do that again.” Sam told him firmly. “You could have lost him.”

Dean’s face turned ashen when he realized what damage he might have done by putting his sense of duty before his heart. He couldn’t doubt how real that pain had been with every step that put more distance between him and Castiel. The guilt was overwhelming. Castiel would _always_ have to come first. Dean knew that now. Gabriel gestured for Sam to come outside so they could talk. Castiel’s sudden decline had scared him so badly, he was even more intent on trying to take him home.

“Please, Sam.” Gabriel begged quietly. ”Talk to Dean.” He looked so tired, every feature was lined with concern. “We need to get to the house as soon as we can. I don’t see any other option now and I have to go back, Sam. I _have_  to. Clearly, those two can’t be separated from one another at all, but maybe we could go on ahead and set everything up for them. If you can get Dean to come.”

“It’s just alpha macho pride, Gabe.” Sam sighed. “Don’t ever let on I told you this, but Dean said he doesn’t want to feel like he owes you for taking us in and helping him look after Cas.”

“But that’s stupid.” Gabriel gasped. “Castiel is my responsibility as well. I don’t want anything from Dean.”

“I know that.” Sam smiled, reaching out to touch Gabriel’s face. The gentle caress of fingertips over his skin sent a shiver of want pulsing straight down to his dick. “Gabe, we don’t have anything.” Sam stuttered. It was the first time in his life he was ashamed to admit that to anyone, not really sure why it should bother him so much. Maybe he felt like he should have something to offer Gabriel if he wanted to stay with him, but he had nothing.

“Sam, if you’re worried about money, please don’t be. There’s more than enough to keep all of us going for a long time. Money was something my father always had plenty of.” Gabriel glanced away for a second. “Love and understanding, maybe not so much. But he always had plenty of money.” He looked up at Sam and his smile was bright again. Whatever shadow of his past had caught him off-guard seemed to have passed. “I don’t expect you to pay me back, or anything like that. I don’t care about the money. I just want Castiel to be safe and us to be together.” Sam blinked. Gabriel never actually said that to him before.

“Do you really mean that?”

“God, yes.” Gabriel whispered. “I thought it was obvious how much I want to stay with you.” 

“Not really. I thought I might have been imagining something that wasn't really there.”

“Why would you think that?” Gabriel asked in surprise. 

“It’s just whenever we get close to... you know.” Sam stammered, with a blush. “You always back away. I thought maybe you didn’t want me like that.”

“Oh." The thought of being able to touch a naked Sam made him feel things he never thought he would. "No - I definitely want you like that.” Decades of despising everything about the brutal sexual practices of an alpha left a mark on him that would take time to heal. Sam didn’t push it. That was something he would have to deal with in his own time. They reluctantly pulled away from each other when they heard the door swing open. Dean’s head appeared in the gap.

“What’s going on?” He asked. Sam thought he may as well say it and have done. They were running out of time, and Gabriel's confession was even more incentive for Sam to stay with him.

“I was going to ask you one last time to come back to Gabriel’s with me, but if you keep refusing his help then I might just have to go alone.” Dean’s eyes flicked up quickly, staring at Sam in shock.

“You saying you’re going without me?”

“No, Dean. I’m saying I want you to come with us. I want you with me, but you have to understand something.” Sam nervously ran his tongue between his lips. “I want to be with Gabe, too and I’m not gonna let you make me choose.”

Dean finally had to accept they would need to move away if they ever wanted to feel safe. He would just have to find another way to get their stuff back. Castiel’s reaction to their separation had made up his mind, and he couldn’t risk getting arrested again. The more distance they put between them and Crowley, the better. Dean reluctantly agreed to go back to the house, but made it perfectly clear on at least three separate occasions it was only temporary until he could find somewhere for him and Castiel. Gabriel couldn’t hide his sense of relief and thrust a fistful of dollar bills into Dean’s hand, along with the keys to the rental and the promise they would meet up later. Gabriel just wanted Dean to get Castiel away from there as soon as he could. It would be better for them all to travel separately. Avoiding public places meant it was going to take them a while to reach the point Gabriel circled on the map, but Dean hadn’t driven for a while, and couldn’t deny how much he missed it.

 Α ✫ Ω 

The narrow road was practically deserted while they drove along. Dean was determined to keep below the speed limit, just in case. They already put a hundred miles behind them and he just started to relax a little when he heard a siren closing in fast. His green eyes darted up to the rear view mirror in alarm. Flashing blue lights reflected in the glass. Dean reluctantly pulled over. The dry earth was churned up by the tyres when the car screeched to a halt. He took in a few deep breaths to try and stay calm when the shadow of a familiar dark uniform appeared next to his open window.

“Is this your vehicle, sir?” Dean shook his head, and murmured the word _rental_  under his breath. He was shifting around in his seat and tapping his fingers restlessly on the steering wheel. “You got a tail light out.” Castiel still looked terrible. He was curled up in the passenger seat with a stolen motel blanket draped over him. He seemed to be struggling to stay awake. “What’s wrong with your friend?” The officer asked, leaning through the gap. Dean couldn’t really tell him the truth so he just said he was sick, but the officer didn’t seem particularly convinced. He adjusted his cap. Dean could feel the adrenaline start to rise, slowly curling his fingers into a clenched fist. His whole body tightened like a coiled spring. He was ready to protect Castiel with his last breath. “Step out of the car, please.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Gabriel and Sam had been waiting patiently at the rendezvous point for almost two hours before Sam began to grow concerned. He checked his watch again and bit into his lip. It was almost dawn.

“I don’t like it.” Sam whispered through a tight breath. He searched the barren landscape in every direction. There was nothing. “They should've been here by now. It’s been hours, Gabe.” Gabriel hesitantly moved closer to Sam and slipped one arm around his waist to stop him descending into hysteria. 

“I’m sure they’re fine.” Gabriel comforted, rubbing his hand up and down Sam’s side with calming touches. “Dean would protect Castiel with his life.”

“I know.” Sam replied quietly. His eyes were fixed on some distant point on the horizon, a sense of dread bubbling inside him. “That’s what worries me.”

Α ✫ Ω 


	47. Chapter 47

Castiel was watching Dean with bleary eyes when he pushed the door open. There was a tense stiffness to his body. A warning bell to anyone who knew him, he was about to do something stupid. Castiel rested his hand on Dean's arm and mouthed the word _don’t_. He just managed to catch his eye with a sideways glance. There was a dark hint of loaded testosterone in the air between them and Castiel knew he would have to do his best to keep Dean calm if they wanted to try and talk their way out of it before a simple traffic stop escalated into a blood bath. He could see the glint of a 9mm in a holster dropped low at the officer’s waist where the morning light danced on the polished metal. Castiel’s stomach lurched with fear.

Dean’s fingers flexed inside his fist. It made his knuckles twitch, but the devoted alpha in him knew whatever decision he was about to make would affect the rest of his life, and the innocent life of his unborn child. He slowly swung his legs out. Dean couldn’t resist the temptation to turn his head and take one last look at his mate. He searched Castiel’s eyes for the strength he needed to force all those feral instincts away. He actually smiled when he saw what was reflected in that beautiful blue gaze staring back at him. There was love there, and hope, and the promise of a life together that shone through brightly and made his heart swell, but there was something else there too.

_Trust._

Castiel trusted him. He trusted him enough to believe Dean would never leave him to give birth alone, eventually fading away to nothing without his mate to care for him. Dean closed his eyes and gradually forced his fist to uncurl. He gave Castiel another smile before pushing himself up from the seat. He stood next to the car with his hands clasped firmly behind his back so he wasn’t tempted to use either one. He stared at the ground, waiting to be asked for his licence and registration with anxious hesitation. He didn’t have either. Everything was still at the apartment, a testament to one of the many reasons why Sam had been so keen to go back there before the exhausting effects of their pair-bond had forced him to return. Dean was still reeling from the intensity of all those raw and unexpected emotions that left him weak.

“Do you have any identification?” The officer asked, looking Dean up and down a couple of times. Dean shook his head, glad he had watched enough bad movies to know the right questions to ask, and buy himself some time.

“No. Am I free to go?” He managed to keep his voice steady. Dean knew Castiel was scared, but he had put all his faith in his alpha to get them out of there with as much damage control as possible. The officer bent forward and stared at Castiel through the window.

“You sure you’re alright?”

He didn't seem all that convinced Castiel was there of his own free will. He gave the officer a faint nod, suddenly feeling very vulnerable and exposed with someone staring at him so intently. Castiel knew he still reeked of sex. A potent combination of delicate omega pheromones and territorial alpha scent where Dean had marked him again.

“I just don’t feel well.” Castiel attempted. Dean winked at him over his shoulder to try and keep him quiet, and give them a chance to get away. He repeated his original question and refused to get drawn into a confrontation while he still felt so unpredictable. There was no way he could be detained for a faulty light, but the risk of being recognized was constantly playing in the back of his mind. The officer seemed a little pissed this man clearly knew his rights, and he had no real reason to detain him. He didn’t answer straight away and left Dean standing on the side of the road. He strolled around the back of the car to take down the licence plate. Castiel was getting more distressed while the seconds ticked by in silence. Dean just wanted to reach in and hug him. The officer completed a full circuit of the vehicle, shaking his head and kicking at the tyres with his boot. Dean suspected it was a deliberate attempt to make him nervous. He heard a heavy sigh behind him.

“Wait here.” The officer directed, walking back to his patrol car to check some basic details. Dean could hear the muted crackle of the radio when it sparked into life. He slid back down into his seat and wrapped his hand around the top of Castiel’s thigh. He could feel him tremble when he gave it a gentle squeeze. Dean wasn't sure if it was from the cold or fear, or even the aftermath of their brief separation. He leaned over.

“We could make a break for it, Cas.” He whispered. It was a stupid idea and he knew it, but Dean was getting desperate. Sam would be waiting for them somewhere over the bleak horizon. Castiel was still emotional and exhausted, curling up even more when he leaned his head against the back of the seat. He looked close to tears. “Hey.” Dean hushed. “I’m not really gonna do anything so dangerous with you in the car.” He comforted, slipping one hand under the edge of the blanket to rub his palm over Castiel’s stomach. He would be lying if he denied the thought of slamming down hard on the accelerator had crossed his mind at least once, but he couldn’t put either of them at risk like that. “I was just thinking out loud, baby. Don’t worry.” Castiel forced a fractured smile and leaned into Dean’s touch. The tender moment was broken by the thud of purposeful footsteps when the officer approached again. He stopped right next to the driver’s side and gave Dean another once over.

“Everything seems in order.” He said slowly, but his eyes never left Dean’s face. It felt like he was scrutinizing every line of his silhouette while Dean kept perfectly still and forced himself to stare straight ahead. He could have sworn there was disappointment in his voice when the officer realized he would have to let them go. Dean felt a rush of relief when it clicked Gabriel must have used a different name when he rented the car. They might have managed to cover some distance during the night, but the name Dean Winchester was likely to have made it past the outskirts of the city they left behind. He had no doubt his mugshot would be circulated to every precinct in the county. The officer was apparently satisfied the car wasn’t stolen, and in dim morning light the distinctive contours of his rugged profile were mostly hidden in shadow. Dean slowly pulled his hand away from the tight grip he still had on Castiel’s leg and took the steering wheel in both hands.

“So?” He ventured, without turning his head. He could almost hear the rapid thrum of Castiel’s heartbeat pounding through him with a fear Dean hoped was long forgotten. “Am I free to go?” Dean was only just managing to hold it all together. Castiel could hear the strain in his voice. The cop seemed suspicious Dean was so insistent to get away and the fact he just had his fingers curled around the top of the other man's thigh. He hesitated.

“Where you headed?” He asked. Castiel glanced nervously between them. Dean knew exactly where Sam would be waiting, but he would be fucked if he was going to share that with a police officer while he was still on the lam.

“I’m just taking my... er... friend.” He quickly jerked his head towards the passenger seat. “To see his brother. We would've left earlier, but he took sick.” The officer was still hovering by the window. Dean was hoping Castiel’s flushed face and heavy eyes would be enough to convince him he was telling the truth. Castiel sniffed on cue and closed his eyes again.

“Okay.” The officer drawled slowly. Castiel suddenly jumped when he gave the roof a couple of forceful taps. “On your way then." Dean swallowed hard, trying to maintain his blank expression until they had driven away. “But you need to fix that light, and if I have to stop you again you better make sure you have some ID.”

“Yes, sir.” Dean answered quietly, blinking when Castiel nudged him on the elbow to get him to move. He seemed almost fixed in position, like he couldn’t really believe he wasn’t going to be physically hauled back to jail and away from Castiel forever. He actually caught a break for once and gradually eased the car into gear. The earth beneath his tyres left a swirling cloud of dust hanging in the dawn air when the vehicle crawled back onto the main road. Dean saw Castiel finally relax. He shivered and sank back down into the seat with relief. Dean kept glancing nervously into the rear view mirror as the car started to accelerate, the black centres of his eyes darting between that and the road. They drove along in silence for a few minutes. 

“Dean? Can I ask you something?” Castiel whispered softly. Dean angled his face towards him, but he kept his eyes on the road.

“Sure, Cas. You know you can.” Dean replied. Castiel could say anything he wanted. It would never change the way Dean felt about him.

“What would you have done back there if he hadn’t let us go?” There was a small pause. 

“What would I have done?” He echoed, his expression growing serious when Dean thought about just how far he would go to look out for him. He returned his hand to the top of Castiel’s leg, sparing a second to look him in the eyes before turning his attention back to the long highway that seemed to reach out endlessly into the distance. “Anything, Cas.” Dean wanted to make sure Castiel knew exactly how important he was to him. “I would do anything to keep you safe.” Dean didn’t look at him again when he quietly confessed to what dominated his thoughts, filling him with the need to look after his mate for as long as he had breath in his body and blood in his veins. “I would die for you.”

Castiel blinked at him, but Dean was still peering out through the glass at the hypnotic spread of lamp light where it stretched across the highway. That was exactly what Castiel had been afraid of. The idea Dean would be prepared to lay down his life to protect him was terrifying. He couldn’t lose him.

“But I don’t want that.” Castiel murmured. “I just want you here - with me.” He paused for a minute. “I’m so proud of you.” Dean spluttered out a shallow laugh.

“Proud of _me_? Why?”

“Because you didn’t let yourself give in to it. I know you wanted to rip his throat out.” Dean steadied the wheel between his knee and one hand so he could stretch out to slip his arm around Castiel’s shoulders.

“C’mere.” He breathed, shifting his body closer to his mate. Castiel melted into him. “I’m not going anywhere, baby.” Castiel nestled under the warm shelter of Dean’s embrace and felt his eyes shuttering closed again.

“If you ever do something like that and leave me on my own... don’t think I will understand.” Dean bit back a wave of emotion and pulled him closer, stunned Castiel just came right out with that. He might have become a willing submissive to the nature of Dean’s alpha but there was a warning underneath those soft words. If Dean got himself killed by trying to protect him, there would be no forgiveness. Castiel would never understand how he could have left him. Dean got it. His deep voice moved across the top of Castiel’s hair.

“Why the hell would I be anywhere else, when I have everything I ever wanted right here?” Dean felt Castiel’s cheek twitch against his body when he smiled, all the tension fading away as the motion of a moving car rocked him gently back to sleep.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean drove as fast as the speed limits would allow in his haste to meet up with Sam and decide on what they should do next in the wake of this new threat. He saw Sam lift both hands in the air with when they eventually pulled up. They were both leaning against the hood. Gabriel had his arms folded across his chest. Sam started to walk over before Dean even turned off the engine. He could see his mouth moving through the glass. The words were muffled, but he knew by the deep lines around his eyes Sam was fuming. Dean sighed, carefully shaking Castiel awake before he got out. Castiel opened his eyes and looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings. He climbed out after Dean when he saw Gabriel. Dean forced his mouth shut while Sam berated him for making them wait so long.

“Where the hell have you been? You were supposed to be here hours ago.” Sam shouted. He was pacing backwards and forwards by the side of the car, occasionally stopping just long enough to dramatically run his hands through his hair at Dean’s thoughtlessness. Castiel could see he was much paler than usual, the obvious lack of sleep casting dark shadows under his eyes. Dean refused to rise to it. He just didn’t have the energy to fight anymore and slinked back to the car in a sulk. Sam looked like he was going to follow him to finish what he started, but Castiel slipped in front of him and gently touched his arm.

“He was worried about you, too.”

Sam looked down at Castiel, suddenly realizing they had more important things to talk about. Dean was slumped against the car door with his hands thrust deep into his pockets, deliberately avoiding Sam’s gaze for as long as he could. Sam patted Castiel’s shoulder in thanks and started to stroll over to his brother. They smiled weakly at each other when Dean finally looked up again.

“Sorry.” Sam extended one hand. Dean took it and gave it a firm shake. Neither one of them seemed to want to let go. “I thought something happened to you.”

“It did.” Dean answered. “I still don’t know how I managed to get away after everything they’ve got on me.” He finally released Sam’s hand and took in a breath of fresh morning air. “We were real lucky back there, but I can't take risks anymore, Sam. Cas is just too important to me. I know that cop took the licence number. Soon as he realizes who it was driving that rental, I’m in deep shit.” Sam was listening so patiently, Dean told him what he wanted to hear. “I just want us to go... together, okay?” He added. “I wanna leave this place behind and take Cas home.” Sam circled one arm around Dean’s back and started to lead him away from the car.

“That’s all I want, too. Come on.” Sam smiled.

They bought a few provisions from the local station and decided to ditch one of the cars. It made more sense to abandon the one Dean had been driving. Gabriel already made sure it would be impossible to trace it back to him. After an almost unbearable night of waiting they decided that despite the risk, they should all stay together.

 Α ✫ Ω 

The officer returned to his patrol car. He just couldn’t shake the feeling he made a mistake in letting that one go. There was something about him that kept picking away at his subconscious, trying to remember where he'd seen that face before. The whole incident seemed unusually suspicious, and he thought the driver was a little too keen to leave. The fact he was so familiar with his civil rights made the officer think it probably wasn't the first time he had a conversation with the police.

He decided to call it in with a description just to settle it, waiting a few minutes while details of possible known suspects came up on the computer set into the dash. He scanned through a few. There were similarities here and there, but none of them seemed to have that distinctive profile and those piercing green eyes. He was about to give up when one of the files caught his attention. 

_Winchester, Dean. DOB: 01.24.79. Status: Fugitive. Wanted for misdemeanors 1998 - present. Felony charges: Attempted murder, suspected kidnapping, assault, fraud, possible arson._  
_Presumed to be armed and dangerous. Approach with caution._

“Shit.”

The officer scrambled to fasten his belt and flicked on the siren, pulling back onto the road with a screech of tyres and a hazy spray of earth and dust. The smell of burning rubber was still hanging in the air. Coloured lights flashed brightly through the dew of early morning when the car sped off down the road in search of Dean Winchester.

 Α ✫ Ω 

It was late morning by the time they finally reached the house. Gabriel pulled up at the end of the long winding lane. Dean insisted he didn’t want to drive anymore so he could ride in the back with Castiel. They spent most of the journey cuddled together under a blanket. Castiel was still sleepy, and Dean suspected his pregnancy was starting to affect his body in more ways than any of them could have expected. He looked completely spent.

Dean stretched with a yawn and got out the car. He moved around the other side to open the door for Castiel. He stepped out cautiously, letting Dean hold his hand and help him to stand. He scanned the familiar white stone walls now partly hidden by thorny tendrils of untamed climbing roses he helped his mother to plant the year before he left. His gaze searched out across the open courtyard, finally resting on the large willow tree. Low boughs hung over the driveway that had once marked the end of his childhood. Everything seemed so much bigger then. His feet crunched on the dry gravel, echoing the last sound he remembered from that night he was forced to run away. The only other memory that haunted him besides the look of pain on Gabriel’s face when he believed he was saying goodbye forever.

Dean held Castiel close while they walked along the path stretching up to the house. His body trembled slightly when they approached. Dean was scared he was going to collapse right there in his arms. They all stood together on the stone steps. Castiel was studying the lines of every window and gable when he heard Gabriel make a soft noise at his side. Many years of emotion suddenly came flooding out. Castiel turned to look at his brother. Gabriel had heavy tears running down both of his cheeks, washing away a lifetime of guilt. He finally achieved what he set out to do all those weeks ago, and brought Castiel back to the place where he belonged. He looked like a young boy again, his blue eyes wide when he took in the familiar contours of the home he spent so many years erasing from his memory because it hurt too much. He remembered the old tree house where they once played together. That was long gone now but the garden swing was still hanging from one of the lower branches - rusted and forgotten.

“Welcome home, little brother.” Gabriel gently reached out to rest one hand on Castiel's shoulder. Sam was watching him with shining eyes when Gabriel suddenly wrapped both arms around Castiel and pulled him in to stroke calming touches through his hair. “Welcome home.”

Α ✫ Ω 


	48. Chapter 48

Castiel seemed completely lost for words when he leaned into Gabriel. All he could manage was a whispered _thank you_. It was all just too overwhelming. He never expected to return to his family home and now he was standing there, it was just as beautiful as he remembered. Everything looked the same. Overgrown beds and flaking paint were the only signs any time had passed at all. Dean took his hand again.

“You okay?”

Castiel nodded, finally pulling away from Gabriel to let him wipe his eyes. He soon managed to recapture the detached mask of indifference, but Sam at least had seen it starting to break apart. There was a sensitive alpha underneath all those fragile defenses Sam was determined to drag back to the surface if it killed him. Gabriel gave Sam a soft smile. There was real hope there that one day they might be able to build the depth of love for each other that flowed so beautifully between Dean and Castiel.

Dean let his mate slip one arm through his own, and they followed Gabriel up to the front door. He had spent many years alone there just existing. Now he had someone else to share his life and home, it made him feel complete. Gabriel encouraged Dean to take Castiel in first, keeping a close eye on him when he stepped over the threshold. He was a lot more worried about his brother than he let on. Castiel was still painfully weak and so dependent on Dean, Gabriel was scared the slightest threat to his happiness would damage him so profoundly he would never come back from it. Dean still being relentlessly hunted did nothing to pacify his fears and now Castiel’s life rested with Dean’s freedom. It was all so messed up. He had to hold on to the hope their return home had at least bought them some valuable time.

Castiel made his way slowly through the house. Dean stayed so close to his side, they may as well have been glued together. Gabriel rubbed his hands and made some comment about getting the old place warmed through for them before disappearing into one of the side rooms with a stack of unopened mail. He gestured for Sam to follow him on the pretense of helping him out in the kitchen. Dean was unusually quiet while Castiel explored the empty rooms. He ran his fingertips along cold walls, occasionally stopping to touch things that stirred a long forgotten memory and made him smile. When they got back to the main hallway, he hesitated. Dean followed his gaze up the flight of winding stairs that led to the upper floor and the room that once belonged to Castiel. It hadn’t been touched for years.

“It’s okay, Cas.” He heard Dean whisper at his side. “Come on, baby. I’ll go with you.” Dean’s constant presence always helped to calm Castiel and make him feel safe, but there were many secrets and dark shadows hidden inside those walls Dean would never know or be able to understand.

Castiel let Dean help him up the steps. He was so tired lately. Some of that spark Dean had fallen helplessly in love with seemed to have lost its shine. It might have just been a reaction to everything that had happened in the last few days, but there was a heavy warning settling in the pit of his stomach that made Dean feel sick. They took a few minutes to make up the bed and air out the room before Castiel was flagging again. The amount of rest he seemed to need since he fell pregnant was starting to make Dean anxious. He left the drapes open slightly to let in some light again, insisting Castiel take another nap to make sure the pup would be alright after such an exhausting night.

Dean couldn’t stand to tell him the real reason he was so concerned. He pretended he was going to find Sam, but he soon got bored without Castiel and wandered off to explore the rest of the house. Gabriel already agreed to give them a tour later, but then he dragged Sam away to help him fix something to eat. Gabriel wanted to introduce Sam to his secret passion. In response to the look on Dean’s face, he quickly added it just meant he loved to cook. Dean guessed it was a poorly disguised excuse to get Sam on his own, but the promise of a culinary masterpiece persuaded him to ignore it.

Dean spent almost half an hour searching the extensive lower floor, poking around in the dusty cellar for a little while before he was finally drawn out by the wonderful scent of spiced apple drifting down from the kitchen. He headed back up the steps, amazed Gabriel hadn’t actually been spinning him a line about his prowess in the kitchen. Dean heard his stomach cry out to be filled by something that might take the edge off his hunger but when he finally reached the source of that delicious smell, he was met by something completely unexpected.

Sam was sitting propped up on the end of the large oak table with his knees spread apart and his feet dangling down from the edge. He had wet streaks of flour on both cheeks. Gabriel was wedged forcefully in between his thighs and leaning forward so he could hold Sam fixed against his mouth. Sam had one grubby hand pushed up into Gabriel’s hair, sharing a possessive kiss that made even Dean blush. Sam was pouring murmurs of appreciation into Gabriel’s open mouth when he forced him lower, his body curved into a perfect arc while he fought to stay upright against the insistent press of Gabriel’s hips trying to ease Sam onto his back.

They were so wrapped up in the taste of each other, neither of them noticed Dean standing in the doorway so he carefully backed away and pelted back up the stairs to the bedroom he was sharing with Castiel. He just caught the lustful rumble of a low alpha growl and a moan he presumed came from Sam, but it was suddenly cut short and Dean had no intention of waiting around to make sure. It was quickly followed by a dull thud and the unmistakable sound of something landing on the floor with a crash. When he reached their room, Dean almost fell through the door. Castiel pushed his body up with a start and gaped at him in surprise.

“Did you find Sam?” He asked, yawning and rubbing at his eyes.

“Yeah.” Dean said slowly, looking like he was still trying to decide if the vision was actually real, or if the lack of sleep was finally getting to him. “I just caught them making out in the kitchen.” Castiel just stared back for a minute, taking in the look of complete indignity on Dean’s face at having to witness his brother being pinned down to a work surface where his pie should have been. A burst of noise suddenly erupted from Castiel's mouth like a melody, resonating from every wall and filling the once empty house with the sound of happy laughter.

“I’m sorry.” Castiel gasped. He tried very hard to be understanding, but he couldn’t help it when Dean looked so insulted. 

“But they're supposed to be making pie.” His blank expression just made Castiel smile even more. He wiggled his fingers towards him and coaxed him in for a hug. Dean slipped his hand into Castiel’s. He pulled him down onto the bed and took his mate's face in both hands.

“I don’t suppose they deliberately sabotaged your pie.” Castiel laughed again, kissing Dean on the lips to keep his mouth from breaking into a grin. He knew how easy it was to be distracted by a soft, warm alpha drenched in persuasive hormones. Dean let Castiel hold him, not very happy about Sam becoming a willing submissive. He finally understood how Gabriel must have felt when he claimed Castiel and put a pup in him. Maybe they really were more alike than he thought.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Gabriel and Sam quickly pulled apart when they heard the bedroom door slam. Sam was still leaning back on his elbows while he dusted off his shirt. They shared a shy smile. Gabriel moved away before his instincts kicked in hard. The conversation soon turned to everything that brought them back there in the first place.

“I really appreciate you letting us stay here.” Sam said gratefully. The implications of Gabriel taking them all in were pretty serious. It wasn’t exactly a sleepover. “I mean it, Gabe. Don’t think for one minute I don’t understand how much trouble you could get in for this.”

“I can’t deny I have _concerns_.” Gabriel admitted cautiously. Sam suddenly sat up. He thought all the doubt and mistrust were behind them, but there was something in his voice that turned Sam's stomach. “I know Castiel really needs Dean to be here but we’re harbouring a fugitive, Sam. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?” Sam looked pissed. For some reason that annoyed him. The dependency they shared was undeniable.

“You’re supposed to protect your brother, Gabe.” Sam replied bluntly, their intimate moment now tainted with disappointment. “That’s what you’re supposed to do with that.” Gabriel edged a bit closer, but Sam didn’t respond quite so willingly this time. “Don’t you think I’m worried sick that we’re still running?” Sam continued, slipping from the table and standing in front of Gabriel. “Not just for Dean, but for Cas as well. He’s not strong enough to deal with the pair-bond on his own.” Castiel had obviously spent most of the afternoon in bed again, drifting in and out of sleep. Dean was totally lost without him. They heard him stomping around upstairs in an attempt to find something to do. Gabriel was starting to become really concerned about just how much the growing pup seemed to be taking out of Castiel. He was almost tempted to ask Sam if he thought it was normal to be completely drained like that when it was still so early on, but he didn’t want him to think he was over-doing the protective alpha sibling thing again. “He’s not right.” Sam confided. “He looks sick every morning and Dean said he can hardly keep anything down. All he seems to wanna do is sleep.” Gabriel nodded thoughtfully. He didn’t reply.

The constant threat of Dean being a wanted man made a mockery of the cruelty Castiel suffered at the hands of Crowley. Gabriel was much more unsettled by the supposedly random traffic stop than he should have been. He didn’t want any of them to spend the rest of their lives living with the fear Dean might be found one day, and Castiel would be alone again. Sam’s sadness was all the motivation Gabriel needed to try and resolve it all before the pup came. He wondered if there was any way he could use his money and influence to help expose Crowley for the snake he was so Dean might finally be free. He just wanted to end the uncertainty once and for all, so his brother could be happy without the dread all of it would soon come to an end when a fateful knock at the door might mean they would have to let Dean go.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel woke up and looked around sleepily. Dean wasn’t there. He couldn’t even remember falling asleep again. His stomach fluttered when he saw Dean’s backpack lying open on the end of the bed. Castiel tentatively leaned forward and reached inside, even though he knew he shouldn’t. He pulled out Dean’s book with trembling fingers. He quickly dressed and padded downstairs with the book hidden safely under his shirt. Castiel hurried outside to the trailing willow on the lawn. It was the place he always went when he wanted to be alone. He spent a long time there until Dean returned. He soon realized Castiel wasn’t in their room and went looking for him. He eventually found Castiel in the cold haze of the late afternoon. As soon as he saw his mate's face, he knew something was wrong. His smile faded.

Castiel felt sick again. Everything Sam knew about what was happening to him was in there. Now Castiel knew it all too and he was terrified. He couldn’t guess how long he'd been sitting there, aimlessly pushing himself backwards and forwards on the swing that hadn’t worked for years. He was ashamed he took Dean’s book against his better judgement, and now he wished he never opened it at all. Dean plodded faithfully over to him. He looked so small and defenseless in the middle of the extensive gardens on that fragile plank of wood that was so tempered with age, all he could do to get it to move at all was push his feet down into the dirt. Dean stuttered a broken gasp when he realized what Castiel was holding.

“What you got there?” Castiel's head shot up with a rush of guilt, but there was no point in denying it. Dean had already seen the heavy leather book resting in his hands. Castiel suddenly flushed pink across the base of his neck. “Cas.” Dean chastised lightly. Castiel sneaking that book was like giving a hypochondriac a medical dictionary. “What you doin’ with that?” Dean could see he was upset from whatever it was he read, and even upside down it was clear what page he was on. He hadn’t really meant to take it, but something impulsive had come over him. He needed to know what he would have to do to survive when Dean was gone. Dean suddenly understood why Castiel had seemed so withdrawn and unhappy all day. He was scared his mate would be taken away from him. “Cas.” Dean murmured again. He held out his hands for the book, but Castiel wouldn’t let it go. “Nothing could ever take me away from you.”

“Why do you keep making promises you can’t keep?” Castiel suddenly burst out. His eyes were holding Dean locked in place, chest heaving with the effort of trying not to cry. Dean's will was much more powerful than anything the law could do to him, and Dean swore in his heart that day - not even death would part them. He stayed in the garden long after Castiel returned to the house. He fetched some tools from the wood shed and worked until the dusk started to fall.

He wanted to mend the broken swing for Castiel and give him some new memories that would always make him smile. Dean had been so distracted by the quiet and the gathering darkness, it had given him too much time to sit alone and think. He longed to show Castiel how much he loved him before the inevitable heartbreak set in again. A happiness so complete could never last. Things like that just didn’t happen to him. Sam watched his brother from the window for a long time after Castiel had gone back up to their room. They finished off the rest of the pie for supper. Dean was reluctant to admit it, but it was probably the best thing he ever tasted.

“That was a nice thing you did today.” Sam said quietly, when he turned off the lights before heading up to bed. “Cas is gonna love it.” Dean forced a smile. His hands were still sore and covered in ground in dirt and oil, but he just shrugged off the compliment and changed the subject. Redirection was almost always guaranteed to stop himself from accepting how tortured he felt inside. It was far too late to have that conversation, and his body still ached.

“I just can’t believe the size of this place.” Dean breathed out, letting out a long whistle. Sam walked his brother back down the corridor, and Dean hadn’t said one word about what he witnessed in the kitchen earlier. Honestly, he was too tired. “How anyone doesn’t get lost in here is a mystery.” He added lightly, finally stopping in the middle of the hallway. “Well.” Dean clapped his hands together. “This is me. Which room did you pick out?” Sam fell quiet when he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. He gave Dean an awkward smile.

“I’m gonna go in with Gabe.”

Dean blinked slowly. His mouth had dropped open and Sam expected him to make some snarky comment, but Dean had apparently lost the ability to form a coherent sentence. He mumbled a broken goodnight and disappeared down the hall. Dean closed the bedroom door behind him with his ass and leaned up against it. The noise woke Castiel. He snuffled and made a weary attempt to edge over onto his side of the bed to give Dean enough room to climb in next to him. Dean still didn’t move, and Castiel was too out of it to wait for some kind of explanation as to why Dean looked so traumatized. He just dropped down by the side of Castiel on top of the covers without even bothering to undress, and reached for the warm body of his mate. Dean pulled a pillow over his head and screwed his eyes closed to force himself to sleep.

Α ✫ Ω 

Sam waited until he heard Castiel’s bedroom door click shut before walking back down the hall. He tapped gently on one of the other doors but pushed it open anyway, without waiting for an answer. Gabriel was sitting up in bed with a book resting on his knees. Even in the low light, Sam could see his distinctive eyes flicker with something that might have been surprise. He slowly removed his reading glasses and stared uncertainly at Sam while he lingered in the doorway. Gabriel’s bed was huge, the posts at each corner intricately etched with delicate carvings. The polished mahogany shone through the shadows. It probably cost more than everything Sam had ever owned put together and he suddenly felt very inadequate. Neither of them spoke for a few seconds.

“Sam.” Gabriel ventured at last. “Is everything alright?” He shuffled under the covers to hide the sudden surge of arousal rushing through him when he sensed a hint of beta submission drift into his space. “Did you not find a room to your liking?” Gabriel tried again. He was still the perfect host, even when he suspected Sam hadn't made a mistake in opening his door instead of one of the many others that lined the top floor.

“Actually, I did.” Sam replied. Gabriel looked at him expectantly. His book slid silently from his lap, but he didn’t seem to notice. Sam felt much stronger when he saw the glint of hopeful anticipation. It felt like it was drawing him in and forcing all his inhibitions away. “Can I stay in here?”

Sam didn’t really need an answer when he saw the way Gabriel ran his eyes hungrily over his body. Gabriel had been left painfully unsatisfied by their passionate encounter over the kitchen table and he hesitated, but it wasn't from doubt. He wasn’t sure he would be able to hold back the unmated alpha in him if Sam decided to share his bed.

Α ✫ Ω 


	49. Chapter 49

Sam waited patiently by the door for several long seconds until Gabriel finally came to his senses. He thought he should probably say something before the pain of that awkward silence lasted much longer.

“If you’re sure that’s what you want.” Gabriel said slowly, his heart pounding when a tingle spread all the way through his body and pooled in his groin. It was only fair to let Sam know he didn't think he would be able to keep his hands to himself if he got in beside him. Sam already told him how much he wanted this, and he wasn't stupid enough to stumble into his bedroom on accident. Gabriel already spent several weeks not daring to believe Sam could possibly feel the same way about him, and now he was just standing there at the end of his bed it felt like an impossible dream. This suddenly shy and uncertain beta now looked like he was the one desperate to hide many facets of an insecurity Gabriel didn’t know he had. He sat up a little more when Sam came closer, nervously settling next to his feet on the edge of the bed. It was answer enough, and Gabriel was grateful for the unexpected opportunity to make up for ruining the afternoon.

“I’m really sorry for what I said about Dean.” He tried a hesitant smile. The look on Sam’s face earlier had haunted his conscience and made him feel terrible all day. Sam had always been so selfless, constantly putting Dean and Castiel first since the moment they met. Tonight it was about something Sam wanted for himself and Gabriel didn't intend to disappoint. “It came out all wrong. I really do want him to stay here with Castiel.” Sam suddenly remembered what Gabriel implied about hiding Dean away.

“It’s fine.” Sam replied. “I totally understand how hard this must be for you. You’ve had this whole place all to yourself for years and none of us have any idea what might happen tomorrow, let alone anything else.” He gave Gabriel a genuine smile and slid up the bed a bit.

“Thanks. I never really wanted the house to feel so empty.” Gabriel whispered, more like he was talking to himself when his gaze dropped down to examine the flawless lines of embroidered thread woven into the quilt. “Everybody just left, one by one.” He paused for a second before looking back up into Sam’s eyes. “I would do anything for you, anything.” Sam felt his heart start to race when he moved his hand closer to Gabriel’s and let the ends of their fingers touch. He never really thought about how lonely it must have been for Gabriel to lose so many people he cared about to death or abandonment. The guilt he still felt over the fateful decision he made for Castiel all those years ago had always been obvious, but his private isolation he managed to hide much better. Sam once got the impression he was perfectly happy in his own company, but now he wasn’t so sure.

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Gabe. Not to me.” Gabriel knew Sam would think like that, but he felt like he wanted to anyway.

“I don't think until today, I really believed you would ever want me like this.” He said quietly. “Falling for you wasn’t exactly part of the plan.” It earned him a small smile. “I didn’t know how to tell you how much I wanted you, and then you seemed so set on that girl.” He shook his head when he thought about what a bitter taste that still left in his mouth. “I’ve never felt jealousy before.” Gabriel admitted. “But I did then… and all I could think about was why it couldn’t be me you looked at like that. I didn’t know what to do with it.” Sam’s smile grew wide while he listened to Gabriel’s confession. It made him feel wonderful. He reached for him again and covered Gabriel’s hand with his own.

“I’ll show you exactly what you can do with it. Come here.” Sam leaned all the way forward, opening his mouth so he could let Gabriel kiss him again. Gabriel’s hands were on him at once, pushing them roughly into Sam’s hair and twisting a few of the longer strands around his fingers. “You should have told me.” Sam gasped, only pulling away to take a breath. His lips were still wet from the possessive stroke of Gabriel’s tongue, shimmering in the low light and tempting him closer. Gabriel wanted to taste every last part of him. Sam could feel his dick start to grow when his alpha reached down, daring to rub his hand up and down the length of his straining zipper until it felt so tight Sam had to move just to get some relief. Gabriel mistakenly thought he was pulling away. He cursed himself in his head, thinking Sam didn’t want to be touched there yet. He quickly changed the subject and dropped his hand.

“I shouldn’t have said that earlier. I was just scared what might happen to Castiel if he ever lost Dean.” Gabriel admitted. It was true, but he only brought it up now because he was worried he'd come on too strong and Sam would make his excuses and go. “I know he’s not okay, and I don’t really know how to help him.”

Sam caressed the back of Gabriel’s hand before gripping his fingers tight. He knew he was taking a risk being alone with an unmated alpha, especially one he spent most of the afternoon winding up, but right now he didn’t care. Sam already smelled the desire leaking freely from Gabriel’s skin when he was standing on the other side of the room. Gabriel suddenly lifted up his hand to sweep the hair from Sam’s face where it had fallen forward when he leaned towards him. Sam didn’t want to talk about that right now. He didn’t really want to talk at all.

“Worry about Cas in the morning.” Sam said gently, dragging Gabriel up so he was close enough to feel Sam’s lips brush against his own, showing his alpha just how much he wanted him to touch his body. Sam could sense the urgency of Gabriel’s kiss when their mouths slid together. He pulled Sam down on top of him with an instinctual growl while Sam fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. Gabriel held him close, licking inside his mouth while Sam moaned in response to the shivers of pleasure rippling through him. His head tipped back when he felt possessive hands grabbing at his warm skin and pushing the material forcefully from his shoulders. Gabriel was up on his knees before he even managed to get Sam to wriggle free of all that unnecessary clothing and their bodies sunk into the soft mattress when he pushed them closer together. Sam was still making small murmurs of approval into Gabriel’s mouth that begged him for more. Gabriel was fully hard and aching with need before Sam had the chance to return anything more than a few breathless gasps.

“Sam.” Gabriel whispered through the darkness. He needed to be absolutely sure his beta was prepared to give his body over willingly. Many years of pushing down his natural drive to mate had left him deeply insecure. “I don’t expect anything of you. You know that, right?” Gabriel asked, just before his tongue darted across those lips again. Sam murmured a desperate _yes_ when Gabriel traced his fingertips along the centre of Sam’s chest and down his stomach. “But if you stay here, I’m going to want to breed you.” Gabriel breathed against the side of his throat, cheeks flushed with shame at such a primal admission. The hint of raw desire in his voice made Sam fall limp in his arms. Gabriel continued to rut up against him, dipping his head to nuzzle the side of Sam’s neck and breathe in his scent. It wasn’t strong in the way Castiel’s was to Dean, but it shifted and changed into something positively delicious when Gabriel nipped lightly at Sam’s skin and left him wanting more. Sam was still beautifully responsive to every touch, moans of building arousal spilling from his mouth with every stroke and kiss Gabriel devoted to him. His submission was absolute, but Gabriel needed to hear it - one last time. “Are you really sure?”

“Pretty damn sure.” Sam was already slipping out of his boxers, and completely naked before Gabriel regained enough control to stop himself from taking a long hard look at an image that was going to fill every jerk-off fantasy he was ever likely to have. He ran both hands down the top of Sam’s thighs and forced his knees apart. Sam tensed when Gabriel reached down and slid one hand between his legs. He flinched at the first skillful press of a searching fingertip, but he didn’t pull away. Sam never knew he would want to submit like that to anyone, but there was something about the way his blood pumped through his veins with a desperate need to be filled by an alpha. It felt more right than anything ever had before. Gabriel’s fingers stretched him wide while he gently moved them in and out, stroking the inside of Sam’s warm body and twisting his wrist with every push to make him feel the power of each thrust. Sam had his eyes closed, lost to the new sensation while Gabriel continued to stimulate him from the inside. He studied every contour of Sam's face while he started to fall apart by his touch alone. Gabriel slowly lifted one hand and pressed it gently against his chest to encourage him to lay back and spread his legs even wider.

The only sounds in the quiet dark of the room were little breathless gasps of pleasure. Sam didn’t even try to fight the rush of ecstasy that threatened to make him spill over Gabriel’s hand before he even had chance to take him. Gabriel sensed Sam was already close by the way he shuddered around his touch. His mouth had fallen open when he gave himself over to it. Gabriel pulled his hand free, quickly turning Sam over onto his stomach in a typically alpha gesture that was guided by pure instinct. Sam readily lifted his hips up and let Gabriel grip him either side of his back to hold him there while he prepared to mate him. Gabriel ran one trembling hand all the way up the middle of Sam’s back and took his own cock in the other, sliding the pre-come all the way down the shaft when he shuffled close enough to be able to feel the warm opening in Sam’s body pressing up against the tip. Everything else just seemed to fade away when he entered Sam from behind. Gabriel gently pushed in until he was sheathed deep inside him. Sam let out a long low moan loud enough for Dean to hear if he was still awake, but he couldn’t stop it falling out of his mouth. Gabriel made love to him with rapid, dominating jerks and Sam met every single one.

Gabriel kept pounding into him until he felt the surge of gratification build and cause the base of his dick to swell up. He wanted to look into Sam’s eyes when he came. He was desperate to see that fucked out look of bliss on his face, so he forced his beta onto his back and pinned him with one hand. Sam was much larger and stronger than Gabriel, and they both knew he could easily have slinked free if he wanted to. There was something deeply sensual about being held down and restrained under an oversexed alpha that made Sam weak inside. It was better than anything he could have hoped for. His body was being shoved roughly against the force of Gabriel’s determined thrusts, more and more erratic when his knot started to grow. Sam saw Gabriel bite into his lip, and knew he was ready to empty into him. He dropped both hands behind his head and angled his body so his neck was exposed, open for Gabriel to fasten his mouth over him and make his claim.

Gabriel couldn’t stop himself from sizing up the throbbing pulse that was rippling just underneath the skin of Sam’s throat where it ran down across his shoulder. The desire to puncture that space with an alpha bite was almost too much. His head was so clouded by the storm of conflicting emotions, it filtered out all other sound and everything quickly faded into a hazy blur when he felt himself start to grow inside Sam. A responsive beta was writhing beneath him just waiting for Gabriel to sink his teeth in, but he couldn’t claim Sam like that. It would dirty his conscience and turn him into something he spent the best part of his life condemning.

He made the mistake of looking into Sam’s shining eyes just before he was about to pop a knot, and cried out when he came without warning. Gabriel bit hard into the pillow just inches away from Sam’s throat. Sam stuttered in a breath when he felt the base stretch inside him, hearing the material rip under the powerful bite where Gabriel’s canines were still buried deep in the soft cotton. Sam turned his face towards him, and they kissed again. Gabriel’s body was still shuddering from the force of his climax. Sam could feel him tremble when his tongue slipped between his lips and stroked the inside of his mouth. It was the closest he would come to claiming him that night, and showing Sam how much he wanted them to stay together.

“Why didn’t you bite me?” Sam murmured, wrapping his arms around Gabriel’s back and gently easing his body on to one side with a smile of satiated bliss on his face. Gabriel didn’t reply. Sam already knew the reason anyway. He imagined how much control that must have taken to stop from latching down on his throat. “I would have let you.”

“I know you would.” Gabriel sighed, still fixed inside Sam when they curled around each other. He petted Sam’s hair with tender strokes until they both finally drifted off to sleep.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean spent most of the long dark hours lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling. His muscles still ached and he knew exactly what Sam was doing down the hall, but the sound of Castiel’s deep breaths while he slept peacefully by his side served to calm him through the night. Dean actually tried to wake his mate more than once when he wanted to hold him close, but no matter what he did, he just couldn’t seem to get him up. Dean was almost frantic with worry. Something was definitely off. He knew every part of Castiel inside and out, and he was always watching him. Taking in every little gesture, every facial expression no matter how small and seemingly insignificant, to try and understand him better. The excitement he felt about the little pup was marred by a shame that clawed at him thinking it was all his fault. He had done that to Castiel’s body when he claimed him. As thrilled as he was about having a family of his own, Dean still couldn’t shake the crushing guilt that his mate was struggling to cope with the reality of carrying his baby.

Everything Castiel said before he ran back to the house that afternoon still hurt. Dean honestly couldn’t be sure he really would be able to keep his promise to stay with him. No amount of wishing and hoping was going to change the fact he had some serious charges stacked up against him. Sometimes he wondered if it would be better just to give himself up and beg the courts for mercy, but he couldn’t take the risk of being locked up again and leave Castiel pregnant and alone. Dean felt the pain of their separation just as badly as his mate. They would be lost without each other. Dean turned restlessly under the sheets, instinctively rolling over on to his side so he could slip one arm around Castiel. He intended to take him out into the garden again in the morning and show him the surprise he spent most of the afternoon preparing. Dean just wanted to see his beautiful smile again, but that wasn't the only thing he was planning to spring on him when the dawn broke. He wanted to ask him something that had been playing on his mind since the moment he found out Castiel was going to give him a baby. He hoped with all his heart he would get the answer he longed for.

Dean closed his eyes and breathed in his mate while he smoothed one hand across the soft skin of his stomach. He slotted his chin into the dip on Castiel’s shoulder and stretched out his fingers so his palm was stretched across his bump. Dean felt a broken sob catch in his throat when he just caught the delicate new scent of pregnant omega underneath everything that had always been Castiel. He had no idea how long it would take for him to be ready to deliver their pup, but there was something about the rapidly developing curves of his swollen belly that made Dean think it was probably going to come a lot sooner than anyone expected.

Α ✫ Ω 


	50. Chapter 50

Castiel seemed a little brighter in the morning and Dean didn’t even try to hide his delight. He was curled around his mate’s body when the dawn light poured in through the window. Dean yawned and rubbed sleepily at his eyes when he felt Castiel stir in his arms. He looked down to check on him and was greeted by those familiar blue eyes, staring up at him like he was the most important thing in the world. It made Dean's heart fill with hope to see that spark of life there again. He had missed it so much.

“Hey, gorgeous.” Dean smiled against his hair, slipping one hand down to fondle his ass and drag him even closer. He reckoned Castiel probably slept for about ten hours straight. “You feeling any better?” Castiel closed his eyes and snuggled into Dean’s chest with a hum of blissful contentment. He smelled absolutely delicious again and Dean knew the underlying fresh scent of something pure belonged to the pup inside him. Dean cuddled his mate to his chest and felt something hard dig into his thigh. “Oh, you really are feeling better.” Dean grinned, growling low when he slid his hand over Castiel’s hip and slipped it through the opening in his shorts. He didn’t want to engage him in anything too strenuous while he was still recovering, so they settled for some heavy petting instead. Dean had to force away the desire to clamber on top of him. Castiel was more responsive than he had been in days. He reached for Dean and gave him a few quick jerks, the thought of giving Castiel a morning quickie while he was pregnant making Dean come all over himself with a curse.

He realized they must have fallen asleep again when he heard a muffled shout drifting up from the lower floor. Sam was calling his name repeatedly and demanding they both come down for something to eat. Dean might have turned over again and ignored the idea of getting up at all if he hadn’t picked up on the wonderful aroma that accompanied Sam’s insistent roll call. Dean cleaned himself up and changed while Castiel watched him intently from their bed. His eyes were still half-closed, bathing Dean in that look he always gave him when he was trying to entice him back under the covers so they could just wish the rest of the world away and lose themselves in each other. Dean smiled down at him while he pulled on a t-shirt.

“You think maybe I could take you out to the garden after breakfast? There’s something I wanna show you.”

Castiel nodded gently. Dean could hardly contain his happiness when he saw how much Castiel seemed to have improved overnight. He knew their separation had been hard on him and Dean wished he could share the same calm assurance it would always be like this. His gaze kept being drawn to the round curve of Castiel’s stomach. The pup seemed to be filling him out much faster than it should.

“I would like that, Dean.”

Castiel finally got up, and they headed downstairs together. Dean was impossibly attentive, slipping his arm around Castiel’s waist and helping him navigate each step. Sam looked disturbingly happy, watching every move Gabriel made while he swept effortlessly round the kitchen and dished out some of his homemade pancakes. Every time he passed close to Sam, he would look up and smile. Dean didn’t think it was a coincidence Sam’s plate was twice as full as everybody else’s.

Dean’s nostrils suddenly flared wide with the scent of something that made his skin itch. Sam stunk of alpha pheromones, and Dean had heard some pretty questionable noises during the long hours when he was lying awake in the darkness. He remembered the last thing Sam said to him, and managed to do the math in his head. He knew they had spent the night together. Dean glanced nervously at his brother’s neck when he leaned forward to reach for the syrup, but there was no bruising and definitely no bite. He genuinely wanted Sam to have someone to care for him so completely, but there was still that crawling sense of unease that prickled under his skin when he thought about his moral duty to never stop looking out for him.

Gabriel really was an excellent cook, and the fluffy pancakes that melted in his mouth made Dean drool almost as much as the pie he made the day before. He ran his tongue over the empty plate with a murmur of satisfaction. Gabriel thought it only polite to pretend not to have noticed. After breakfast, Dean encouraged Castiel to go outside and gently covered his eyes with his hands while he led him slowly across the lawn. They stopped under the willow tree. Dean bent his head and breathed into Castiel's ear when he dropped his arms.

“Okay, you can look now.”

Castiel blinked. He was staring at the swing Dean fixed for him the evening before, practically bursting with emotion at the tenderness of something so thoughtful.

“Dean.” He whispered softly. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I don’t have to do a lot of things.” Dean replied, with a little surge of pride at how much that simple gesture seemed to touch Castiel’s heart. He took his hand and helped him onto the seat. “Now don’t go gettin' any ideas about trying to test out how high it'll go. You gotta look after my puppy.” Castiel gave Dean a tearful smile when he settled on the plank of wood and wrapped his fingers around the ropes. Dean gave him a few gentle pushes against the small of his back, taking in some deep breaths while he tried to draft up enough courage to tell Castiel the real reason why he brought him outside. “You know what, Cas? I love you more than I ever thought I could love anything.” Dean said quietly, still pushing him. “All I ever wanted to do was make you happy and whatever happens - ” He hesitated. Castiel sensed his hand fall away. “I promise I'll do everything I can to be here for you and the little one.”

“What do you mean, whatever happens?” Castiel asked anxiously. He pushed his feet hard into the ground and everything stopped moving. He turned to look at Dean over his shoulder. Dean was usually so completely honest with him, and now Castiel was suddenly starting to tremble at what he might have to say.

“Cas.” Dean sighed. He shook his head and walked all the way back round to face him. They were doing their best to believe they were free to live out a lifetime together but it was all just a bitter illusion. Castiel looked so close to tears again, Dean couldn’t even bring himself to say it. “Nothing.” He smiled, bending down to hug Castiel tight. “It’s nothing, baby.” Dean kissed him on the cheek. When he finally pulled away, his mask of stoic optimism was fixed firmly back in place and his eyes were shining again. “Hey, listen.” He said brightly, taking both of Castiel’s hands in his own to fold them into his lap where his legs were curled under the seat. Dean was already crouching in front of him and swinging him gently backwards and forwards again. He didn’t want him to get dizzy, and he knew how fragile Castiel was since their desperate flight to the motel. He held onto him with one hand and stopped the ropes from moving while he bent down even lower and steadied himself on one knee. “I have a confession to make. I didn’t just bring you out here to play on the swing.” Dean smiled again. Castiel didn't want to think about anything else beyond that perfect moment. “I wanted to ask you something, and honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been as scared as I am right now.” Castiel was just staring at him. “Cas.” Dean tried again, hoping his heart wouldn’t suddenly explode in his chest with how hard it was beating. He struggled to form words around a mouth that had apparently stopped functioning altogether. “I know I haven’t got a lot to offer you except my heart, but I would like… I mean I would be honoured if you would let me take care of you for the rest of your life.” Dean held onto him, everything he wanted to say forced out in a rush of air. “I want to stay with you for always. I know we can’t do it like I want to, but… well. I want you to wear my ring, Cas.” Dean slipped the silver band from his right hand and held it out hopefully in front of him, even though he knew it was far too big to sit comfortably on Castiel’s finger without dropping off and he would have hated to lose it. Castiel was speechless, and Dean wondered if he really understood what he was asking. He wanted to promise himself to his mate forever. “Cas, I’m asking you to marry me.” Castiel was still shaking when he threw himself around Dean’s neck and inhaled as much of that beautiful alpha scent as his lungs could possibly take.

“Yes. Yes, Dean.” Castiel sighed breathlessly while Dean showered him with possessive kisses. “I would like that very much.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Gabriel was still washing up the dirty plates when he had a sudden compulsion to tell Sam what was really on his mind since they found out about the pup.

“Sam? I was wondering if we should maybe do another test. I didn’t want to upset Castiel at breakfast, but he looked much further along than I thought he was and now I’m worried there’s something seriously wrong.”

“You mean, apart from the fact he could die without Dean.” Sam said solemnly. Gabriel felt his stomach turn. It sounded horrible when Sam said it like that. “Do you honestly think we need to do another one? You just have to look at him, Gabe. He’s a text book case.” Sam really had grown very fond of Castiel. His heart went out to him. Sam couldn’t even imagine carrying another man’s baby or begin to understand how scared he must be about their future. Castiel needed Dean like a life breath, and the threat of him being taken away was still hanging over them all like a dark cloud of uncertainty that could open overhead any minute and unleash a downpour. “That test I got before said it would probably implant about six days after conception so it was a bit early, but I don’t think there can be any doubt. I just wish we had some more information so we know what to expect. It’s not that long since they mated, but he looks about four months gone. That can’t be right.”

“You know, my father was an alpha.” Gabriel offered absently, scratching his head with a soapy finger. Sam hadn't forgotten. “He spent most of his life collecting stuff about things like that. I mean, he was a soulless dick most of the time, but he was an educated man. He had an old bookcase in his study full of antique books. I don't even go in there anymore, but you’re welcome to go and have a look if you want.” Sam visibly brightened at that. The idea he might suddenly have access to a personal library of rare texts to flick through at his leisure was almost better than sex. He would have stood by that until the end except for a little burst of excitement at the memory of being stuffed full of alpha the night before. He really hoped Gabriel would want them to share his bed again.

“Are you kidding? 'Course I would... show me.” Sam added quickly, kicking back his chair and reaching for Gabriel’s hand. He dragged him away from the sink and up the stairs with more enthusiasm than anyone should have at that time in the morning. When they reached the first floor, Sam let Gabriel go in front and followed him along the corridor and into his father’s old study. The back wall was totally obscured by many rows of books that looked faded with age, and some of the more well-read ones were torn and frayed around the edges. Sam didn’t really need to say anything. His expression said it all.

“I’ll leave you to it. I would like to think I'm too much of a distraction.” Gabriel smiled, daring to slip his arms around Sam’s waist. He stood up on his tiptoes to give him a long, slow kiss. Gabriel forced himself to pull away before he passed the point of being able to leave Sam alone at all. “Let me know if you find anything.” He called over his shoulder. Sam sighed happily when he tipped his head to one side and started to scan the printed spines. A few of the larger ones on the top shelf were similar to Dean’s lore book, so he started there and picked out a dusty leather-bound one that looked like it hadn’t been touched in years.

Gabriel saw Castiel sitting outside from an upper window before he descended the stairs, letting out a little gasp of surprise when he bumped into him in the doorway. Castiel had made his way back inside to fetch a jacket. Dean was still under the tree making a few vital adjustments to the ropes to make sure they were secure. Castiel was now flushed with a healthy glow, and a smile so wide it stretched from one side of his face to the other. He made a grab for Gabriel and told him everything that was said between them on the lawn through a flurry of excitement.

 Α ✫ Ω 

By the time Dean had finished, Castiel still hadn't returned so he headed back to the house in search of his mate. He called up the stairs, but got no answer so he took them two at a time, suddenly stopping dead when he saw Gabriel standing at the top. There was something about his expression that put Dean on the defensive straight away. He was dying to say something about Sam after his suspicions were confirmed by the stupid starry-eyed awe they had shared across the breakfast table. A tense pause stretched out between them. 

“I know what happened last night.” Dean started quietly. Gabriel opened his mouth to defend himself, but Dean stopped him with a wave of his hand. “Don’t say anything. I know you didn’t claim him, but I saw the look in his eyes this morning.” Gabriel couldn't stop his mouth from lifting up into a small smile at the memory. “I don’t think I really want to talk about it.” Dean added quickly. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. For us. Please don’t think I don’t, but if you hurt my little brother - ” He hesitated, picking his phrase carefully. “I’ll tear you a new one.” Gabriel stared straight into Dean’s eyes. Sometimes it was like looking in a mirror.

“Likewise.”

Dean actually laughed.

“Fair enough.” The awkwardness was soon cast aside. They both had the best of intentions at heart and Gabriel almost passed out when Dean extended one hand. He took it warmly and gave it a firm shake. Gabriel’s dominance was gone just as quickly as it appeared. “Really.” Dean said with sincerity. “Thank you.”

“Listen.” Gabriel said suddenly, gesturing for Dean to follow him into his bedroom. “Castiel told me you proposed.” Dean hesitated in the doorway, waiting for Gabriel to shoot him down in flames, but it never came. “You make him happy, Dean. I have no right to take that away from him.” Dean blinked in surprise while he watched Gabriel walk over to the side of his bed. He opened up a small wooden box covered with subtle carvings. Gabriel had his back to him but Dean could see his shoulders moving while he searched inside it. “It’s not much, but I know you can’t get Castiel anything right now. I thought maybe you might like to give him this so he has something to make it official.” Gabriel turned to Dean and held out a small polished band between his thumb and finger. Dean wasn’t sure what he was implying about his ability to provide for a mate. It was only stubborn pride that stopped him from reaching out to accept it. “Peace offering.” Gabriel smiled softly, and pushed it into Dean’s hand. Dean found himself staring at a single circle of pale silver that shone brilliantly when the light touched it. The delicate symbols of the alpha and the omega were intertwined together in the centre. It was almost an exact replica of the one adorning the cover of his treasured book. It was beautiful. “It was my mother’s.”

Gabriel knew in his heart she would have wanted Castiel to have it. Their mother had always been haunted by not doing more to help her youngest come to terms with what he was. She never considered her only omega son as an object of shame, desperate to spare him the same fate she had endured for years for the sake of her children. She had never been the same after Castiel disappeared and Gabriel never told her the whole truth. He thought in some messed up way he was protecting her, but he knew now that the uncertainty had only made things worse in the end. The not knowing was the one thing that hurt her the most. It had left a hole in their family that had never been repaired. It said a lot that she had chosen to leave the little silver ring behind when she finally found the strength to leave. Dean took it gracefully.

Α ✫ Ω 


	51. Chapter 51

Sam didn’t even attempt to emerge from the study until his stomach informed him he must have missed lunch. He finally managed to find some evidence Castiel could never expect a normal pregnancy. Sam wasn’t sure how he would react to the news that special A-type omegas like him were basically a breeding tool, designed to pop out as many pups as possible. It certainly explained why he was so exhausted since Dean knocked him up. The pup was growing so fast, it was taking absolutely everything out of him. Sam joined the others downstairs with one of the books wedged under his arm. He wanted to talk it over with Gabriel first before they decided how to break that one to Castiel. Many hours on his own in the study provided plenty of time to ponder their fate and cast Sam's mind back to the horrors of Crowley’s basement. It gave him an idea.

“Anything?” Gabriel prompted, before Castiel had chance to show off the new addition to his left hand.

“Yes, actually.” Sam said slowly. “I was thinking about Jess.” Gabriel froze, glaring at Sam like he wanted to melt him on the spot. “Not like that.” Sam playfully nudged his alpha on the arm while Dean and Castiel exchanged a knowing glance. “I was thinking maybe she could help us gather some evidence. There were some terrible things going on in that place where they took Cas. It might help discredit Crowley and make sure most of the criminal charges against Dean are seen for the bullshit they are.” Sam sounded confident, but there was no denying Crowley was everything Dean wasn’t in the eyes of the authorities still hunting him. Crowley might have influence and power but that didn’t make him any less of a villain. He needed to be brought to justice. For the first time in many days, Dean actually started to have hope he would be free to see Castiel give birth to his little pup after all.

Dean scrunched up his nose when he reached forward to squeeze Castiel’s fingers. It wasn’t exactly a master plan, but at least they had something to work with to help Dean shake off the constant uncertainty he might be taken away at any moment. It was the only thing threatening their happiness, keeping Dean awake at night in case his perfect ending was suddenly going to be ripped away. Castiel hadn’t said much about how scared he still was since they got back to the house. Dean knew it must be on his mind, and he didn’t want anything to upset him now he was carrying a pup. One hand was pushed deep inside Dean's pocket, twirling the ring Gabriel gave him. He wanted to wait for the perfect moment to exchange it for his own silver band now sitting proudly on Castiel’s finger. Sam tipped his head down when he noticed it glint in the light.

“Does that mean what I think it does?” Sam asked, both eyebrows flicking up into happy little arches. Castiel glanced at Dean before giving a subtle nod. Dean smiled when Castiel extended his fingers so Sam could admire it properly. Dean adored the glow of contentment shining back at him, soon leaning forward and kissing Castiel again with an instinctive dominance that could leave no doubt who he belonged to completely.

“My cue to go.” Gabriel raised both hands in the air. He was desperate to find out what Sam managed to dig up during the many hours spent holed away in the study. The sight of Dean slavering all over his brother was as good a reason as any to make a speedy exit. Sam followed him after taking a minute to offer them both his congratulations. “Well?” Gabriel asked quickly, as soon as he thought they were out of earshot. Sam glanced over his shoulder just to make sure, but it didn’t really matter. Dean was so distracted by Castiel again, everything else was just a distant blur. “I presume you found something.” Gabriel added, eyes sliding to the book tucked under Sam’s arm.

“Yeah, but I wanted to talk to you about it before we say anything to Dean. There’s some heavy shit in some of them. Honestly, Gabe, I don’t think it’s a coincidence your father would want to keep something like this.” Gabriel suspected for a long time his father had known Castiel was different. Maybe he understood a lot more about his son than he ever let on. Gabriel always presumed the looks he gave his brother as a child were founded on contempt. Maybe he was just scared he wouldn’t be able to protect him forever. 

“I guess we’ll never know now, will we?” Gabriel sighed. Sam couldn’t find anything to say to that, so he just reached out and stroked his fingers affectionately down his arm. He could see some of Gabriel’s younger years still triggered painful memories.

“I don’t know how he's going to take it.” Sam added, after a pause. “I know they seem happy now, but I don’t think we should get too complacent. Cas isn't ready to drop yet, and I think part of him is still in denial.”

“I see.” Gabriel said quietly. “So what exactly did it say?” Sam handed him the book.

“Here. Read it for yourself if you want. Most of it confirms everything I already suspect every time I look at him.”

“Meaning?”

“You know what you said about being worried he was starting to show already?” Gabriel hummed. “It’s perfectly normal for that type of omega, apparently. I’m working on instinct as well, but I think he’s going to have the pup a lot sooner than we think.” Sam's expression was so serious, it certainly didn’t make Gabriel any less concerned. “Not that I’d ever tell Cas this, but he’s basically just a baby-making machine.”

“Sam.” Gabriel pulled a face. “Please don’t say it like that.”

“I’m sorry, but it’s true. I think it must have something to do with their pair-bond too, ‘cause they’re the only type that can form such a long lasting connection with an alpha.” Gabriel let out a low whistle.

“How long?”

“I don’t know for sure, but I’m guessing a matter of weeks rather than months.”

“Then we’re screwed.” Gabriel's mouth snapped shut when his eyes skimmed over Sam’s shoulder. Dean was behind him.

“Who’s screwed?” Dean asked casually, reaching over to pick an apple from the bowl. He took a large bite and leaned up against the table while he looked between them. 

“It’s nothing, Dean.” Sam hated lying to him, but there was just too much already hanging over them without giving Dean any more crap to deal with. “We were just talking about maybe going back to try and put things right. I know there’s no way you can come, and I want Gabe to stay here and help you watch out for Cas, in case he…” Sam trailed off so suddenly it put Dean on edge.

“In case - what?”

Sam and Gabriel shared a nervous glance.

“Just, in case.”

“Sam.” Dean laughed. “If you mean the pup, I wouldn’t worry. We got ages yet and Cas is much better today.” Gabriel made a point of turning away to pretend he was tidying up the kitchen, and Sam was suddenly staring at the floor. The silence was almost tangible. “What’s going on here?” Dean insisted. He knew an awkward moment when he was caught in the middle of one. “Sam?” Dean’s burning gaze was a force to be reckoned with when he thought someone was trying to fuck him over.

“Dean... this isn’t real.” Sam gasped, wildly waving his hands around like that somehow illustrated his point. “Babies. Proposals.” Dean was staring at his brother with disappointment. Sam wished he could take it back as soon as the words slipped out, but there was nothing he could do about that now. Dean hoped if there was anyone he could always count on, it was Sam.

“I thought you’d be happy for me.” Dean murmured. Sam closed his eyes.

“I am.” Sam said slowly, trying to keep his voice steady over the rapid pulse of his heart. That outburst had been driven by fear. Everything he read in the last few hours was still fresh in his mind and it clouded his judgement. There seemed little point in hiding it now. Dean was so hopelessly in love with Castiel, he seemed blind to all the dangers waiting just outside the borders of his perfect delusion. “I just want you to be able to stay together.” Dean tried so hard to block out everything else but deep down he knew Sam was right. He couldn’t run forever but he still felt betrayed somehow. Dean turned to leave, but something made him hesitate.

“Well, thanks for your concern, Sam. But don’t forget I know what you two got up to last night and I never said a damn thing about how I feel about it.”

Sam’s mouth dropped open when he flushed pink. Dean knowing he had been a willing submissive to an alpha like Gabriel was something he never meant to share. Now Sam felt like a dick for saying anything at all. Gabriel slouched against the worktop when they were alone again. It was bad enough Castiel was going to have to endure the agony of childbirth before his body was even close to being ready, but now all the progress he made in trying to win Dean over had gone back to square one in five easy minutes. Sam slammed his fist down hard on the table with a curse.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel was caught by surprise when Dean rushed past and grabbed him by the arm. Only a few minutes ago Dean had been happily attached to his mouth and making small talk with Sam and Gabriel.

“What’s the matter?” Castiel gasped, while he was yanked along behind Dean and almost dragged back up the stairs. “Dean? Dean, you’re hurting me.” Dean felt his voice catch in his throat when he saw Castiel was looking at him like he didn’t recognize him at all.

“Cas. Shit, I’m so sorry.” Dean mumbled, quickly letting go of his wrist and threading their fingers together in apology. Dean kissed each one of his fingertips in turn and headed back to their bedroom, dismissing the whole sorry incident by muttering something about Sam being a jerk. Castiel didn’t ask why Dean had brought him back upstairs when he lifted him up and laid him on top of the bed. Dean sat down next to him, lovingly running both hands over his stomach. It looked even more prominent when Castiel was flat on his back like that. When Dean pressed down hard he thought something stirred lightly under his palm.

“Oh, Cas.” Dean whispered, moving closer to gently rest his head on Castiel’s bump. He never believed he could be so happy. Even Sam’s recent shit storm couldn’t take away the sense of undying devotion he felt towards his mate and his unborn pup. Castiel saw Dean rub one hand against his eyes. He didn’t say anything. Dean knew he had found the perfect moment he'd been waiting for and he reached for Castiel’s hand. “You’re gonna lose this if you’re not careful.” Dean said with a smile, easily slipping his ring from Castiel’s finger before he had chance to stop him. It dropped into his hand.

“Dean.” Castiel started, but Dean hushed him and pressed one fingertip against his lips.

“How 'bout I keep this one, and you can have this.” He winked, putting his own ring back on so it would match the one he was about to give Castiel. “Close your eyes, baby.” Dean murmured against his cheek. Castiel obeyed at once. There was something he still found completely irresistible about that deep alpha dominance Dean always did so well. He carefully pushed the promise ring onto Castiel’s finger and sealed it with a tender kiss. Castiel opened his eyes when Dean released his hand.

“Dean, it’s beautiful.” Castiel whispered. He gazed at it for a long time before those blue eyes suddenly flicked up when some long forgotten memory surfaced. “Where did you get this? My mother had one just like it.”

“I know.” Dean confessed quietly. “Gabriel gave it to me.” Castiel’s eyes filled with tears when he wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck like he never wanted to let go. Dean knew he definitely scored a few points with that one.

“I don’t know what to say.” Castiel smiled. Dean took one thumb and brushed away the round drops that had spilled down both cheeks. “Thank you, Dean.” Castiel covered Dean’s face over and over with little pecks of gratitude until Dean was so turned on, it soon developed into a long drawn out passionate kiss that ended up with his tongue slipping down Castiel’s throat. Dean gently eased him over onto his back again, lifting up his hips so he could slide both hands underneath him and caress his body. 

“You really like it?” Dean asked, between covering Castiel’s neck with playful nibbles and groping his butt.

“It’s perfect.” Castiel replied, losing himself in another kiss.

 Α ✫ Ω 

The confrontation with Dean only made Sam even more determined to head back into town that evening and clean up his brother's mess once and for all. Sam knew he would never be able to rest until he was certain Dean was a free man. Castiel’s life depended on it, and he wasn't going to be responsible for that. His developing affection for Gabriel finally swung it. Their family already suffered enough tragedy and loss. Gabriel could see Sam really meant to go and didn’t even attempt to talk him out of it.

“There’s no way Dean can leave Cas. I’m not gonna let them make that mistake again.” Sam said, stuffing a few provisions in his pockets. Gabriel just nodded. He knew why Sam wanted them all to stay, even though he was helpless to do anything to comfort his brother last time Dean and Castiel had been apart.

“I don’t mind, but I would come with you if you asked me to.”

“I know you would, Gabe, but I really don’t want to leave them without you here as well. If something happens, Cas would be all alone and I can’t ask you to do that.”

“That would be the least of his worries if the hunt is up.” Gabriel said quietly. 

“I have to go alone, and that’s an end to it.” Sam hadn’t really expected it to go any other way.

“Just be careful, and try not to spend too much time sweet-talking Jess into helping you out.” Sam’s head jerked up in surprise. Something in the way he said her name made it sound suspiciously like a warning. He moved so close to Gabriel, he could feel the heat coming off his cheeks.

“You’re not jealous of a girl, are you?” Sam teased, pressing his body up against Gabriel to slip his arms around his waist. Sam deliberately ground his hips against the front of his body and pushed him back against the wall with a thud. Gabriel dropped his head back and let Sam leave a trail of wet kisses all the way down his neck.

“Sam.” Gabriel whispered desperately, when he felt something hard press into him. “You’re going to make me want to take you back to bed right now.”

“I want to let you.” Sam’s voice sounded muffled where his mouth was still dragging along Gabriel’s throat. “But I gotta do this, Gabe... but when I get back you better be ready for me.”

Gabriel grinned wide. Sam shivered, a pulse of arousal surging through him when those two sharp white points whispered an unspoken promise of what might await him on his return. Sam understood why Gabriel hadn’t claimed him already, but that didn’t mean he intended to wait forever. He leaned in again to leave one last tender kiss hanging on his alpha's lips before he left. Gabriel made a hungry grab for him, returning it with more passion than Sam expected. He was breathless when they finally pulled apart.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean and Castiel went straight back up to bed after supper. Sam already exchanged a few words with them before saying goodbye. Dean made him promise to call in the morning just to let him know he got there safely, voice only forced out in a gruff attempt to make conversation. Dean genuinely felt bad for not going with him, but he was still sore at some of the things Sam had said.

A few hours went by. Gabriel took one last lingering look into the darkness, wondering where Sam could be and what he might be doing. It would take him almost all night to hitch a ride back to the city and Gabriel hated the thought of him being out there all alone. He respected him enough to accept his decision, finally forcing himself away from the window with a sigh. He dropped miserably onto the bed and reached for the book Sam asked him to read so he knew what to expect from his brother’s pregnancy. Gabriel wasn’t sure he wanted to know too many details. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss. He opened it anyway and scanned the text on the page Sam bookmarked for him. He never knew his father kept information like that in the house for such a long time. He wondered aimlessly how much his mother had really known about Castiel. Maybe one day he would get the chance to ask her. Most of the chapter was about some of the things he once discussed with Sam, but now it was all there in black and white it dissipated any last remnant of doubt he had about Dean and Castiel’s total dependence on each other.

Gabriel settled under the sheets and started to read. Sam already told him the vasopressins Castiel had were similar to oxytocin, but he didn’t realize they were released in such large amounts during childbirth. He scan read the illustrated section on cervix distension during labour with a pained expression and went bravely on to the paragraph about how specific chemicals facilitated birth and parental bonding. He felt really sick by the time he reached the last sentence. 

Castiel’s lifelong anxiety had always been worse because he was away from Dean, never knowing they were destined to be bonded together. He needed all those beautiful chemicals so his true mate would one day be able to find him. It also said an A-type omega might go into a forced heat if they were away from their pair-bond. It was like nature’s way of trying to draw their mate back to them, and the only way for Castiel to stop it was to take Dean’s knot.

The memory of their urgency to mate that night at the motel made so much more sense now. It was such a unique bond they shared, Gabriel still didn't know how they ever survived so long without each other. He let out a deep breath when he finally closed the book an hour later and sat back heavily against his pillows. He missed Sam. His bed seemed stupidly empty. The need to feel a warm beta beside him made his chest ache. He settled down that night with empty arms and an assault of disturbing thoughts that kept him awake for many restless hours.

Α ✫ Ω 


	52. Chapter 52

Sam reached the outskirts of the city just as dawn broke, and Gabriel finally managed to fall asleep with the hint of Sam’s beautiful scent locked in his memory. Sam glanced up and down the main road, empty streets now seeming unfamiliar. It surprised him how much he already missed Gabriel and the comfort of home and family. He would make it up to Dean when he got back. The morning air was cold and unforgiving. He pulled his jacket a little tighter when he marched up the steps to the dispatch office. He already sent Jess a text to announce his arrival but hadn’t given her any details, and she hadn’t asked. The only thing she told him was she was on early shift that day. He never really expected to see her again, not sure how to feel when she smiled at him as soon as he walked through the door. Jess rushed forward to give him a hug, kissing him on the cheek before pulling away.

“Sam, it’s good to see you again. Really.” She hesitantly touched his arm. “So, you gonna tell me what’s so important it managed to drag you back here?” Sam didn’t answer straight away. He forgot how pretty she was. “Well, whatever the reason, I’m real glad to see you. I thought about you a lot.” Her cheeks were a little pink, but she quickly moved back behind the desk to put some distance between them. It didn’t really matter so much to him anymore. Sam knew his happiness was with Gabriel and the life he hoped they could build together once all the doubt was behind them for good. He could never betray him like that. 

Sam started to tell her about everything that happened since Dean had rescued Castiel from the basement, clasping her hands together in delight when Sam told her about the baby. He knew relying on her for help was a lot to ask, hoping he wouldn’t have to compromise his loyalty to Gabriel to gain her trust again. Sam didn’t even know where to start. There was only one thing he knew for certain. Dean’s fate now rested in his hands. Sam perched uneasily on the desk, making sure he didn’t lean in too close. Jess seemed to be hanging on every word he said. A few weeks ago he might have loved the attention she was giving him, but now it just made him feel strangely awkward.

“A baby.” Jess murmured after a few seconds, staring at Sam while he spoke like she was still trying to figure him out. “Wow.” She looked genuinely stunned. “I didn’t even know that was possible, but I’m very happy for him.” Sam smiled. He didn’t mention Gabriel. Jess suddenly reached for his arm. “What about Castiel? Is _he_ happy about it?” She asked. It was a hell of a lot to process. She remembered how terribly anxious he always was about everything. She couldn’t imagine how something so significant might have changed him. Sam hesitated.

“Yeah.” He answered in a slow drawl. “Yeah, I think so.” He tried to free himself of any lingering doubt. “I mean, I’m not sure it’s really sunk in yet, but Dean is absolutely besotted with both of them.” Jess smiled up at him. “Honestly, it's sickening.” Sam laughed. There was something shining behind his eyes. It showed he was much more excited about it than he let on.

“It’s actually kinda cute.” Jess smiled back. “Please give Castiel my best when you go back.” She paused again. Sam suddenly realized her hand was still there. “You _are_ going back, I suppose?” It was an odd thing to say. The way she looked up at him didn’t really make it a question. Resignation was something Sam was all too familiar with.

“I am.” Sam turned away to fiddle with a pen that was resting on the desk near his thigh. “I finally found a place where I think I could be happy.” It sounded wonderful when he said it out loud like that. Sam had been so consumed with concern for Castiel he never actually took any time to consider how he felt about having somewhere safe to lay his head at night, wrapped in the arms of someone who cared so deeply for him. “I have a home now. That’s something I haven’t had in a long time.” Jess dropped her hand and tapped her fingertips nervously on the desk. 

“You know, there was a moment back there when I wondered if I made a mistake in letting you go.”

“Jess.” Sam warned softly. That was the last thing he needed to hear right now. He stood up again. “Listen, I have to be honest with you. I only came back because I wanted to ask you to help me take down Crowley. Cas needs Dean so bad, and I just can’t rest until I know they’re going to be able to raise their pup together.” He heard Jess swallow a tight breath. 

“I understand.” She replied. “Of course I’ll help, if I can. What exactly do you want me to do?”

“Thanks.” Sam mumbled. Her unwavering gaze was starting to make him slightly uncomfortable. “Well, you could start by telling me what happened. After we left, I mean. Gabriel told us that er… _someone_ torched the place.” Jess nodded.

“It's true. I knew the call had come in, of course. When I went past the next morning it was just a smouldering wreck. I have no idea what happened to Crowley but I still see people going in and out of the lower floors sometimes on my way home at night.” She shook her head sadly. “I hate to say it, Sam, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s still got people down there. I’m sure it would take a lot more than a broken jaw or a blazing inferno to stop that horrible man from doing what he does best.”

“Making money?”

“Exploiting innocent people. People like Castiel.” She sighed. Sam saw her eyes narrow in distaste, but he didn’t think she meant him to see it. Sam listened intently to her while she told him what had been going on in his absence. How there had been a murmur in town about this alpha called Dean Winchester being responsible for all the devastation. It made Sam's blood run cold. Dean would never be free until the truth came out. It troubled him that the fire damage apparently only affected the upper offices and Jess suspected Crowley was still working out of the basement. The memory of Castiel’s suffering brought a bitter taste to his mouth. Why anyone would ever want to hurt someone so sweet and gentle was still a mystery to him.

“I was afraid of that.” Sam said quietly. “But if nothing else, it’s made me want to finish this once and for all. You can’t imagine how much is riding on this.” They both fell silent for a moment before Jess spoke again.

“Actually, I think I might have an idea.” She said suddenly. “Obviously, I know people who work for the sheriff’s department. I’m sure some of them would be willing to listen to what you have to say.” 

Sam looked doubtful.

“Jess, no disrespect but I know for a fact there are officers down there who have already made up their minds about Dean. Besides, not that I’m suggesting anyone you know would take a bribe, but Crowley has a lot of influence here. No doubt some of them have taken a backhander to make sure his creepy ass stays out of jail.”

“I’m sure, but I have family there too. I have no reason not to trust them.”

“I don’t know.” Sam replied uneasily. “Dean did make a mess of Crowley’s face.”

“I get that, Sam, but it wasn’t like he didn’t have a good reason. Maybe if we could get him to claim self-defense, he would stand a better chance. He was only trying to save the man he loves.”

“Maybe.”

Jess seemed to think if they could somehow expose the level of corruption going on down the local precinct and who was paying for all that silence, then Crowley was screwed and Dean might even be completely exonerated. Sam wasn't quite as hopeful, and the shadow of outstanding warrants and the string of misdemeanours were something else entirely. Sam was determined nothing could be left hanging over them that would risk Dean ever being parted from Castiel again.

“At least let me try to help Dean.” Jess encouraged. She felt tempted to touch Sam again, but she managed to keep her hands on the desk. “What has he got to lose?” Sam held a breath. He didn’t give her the answer suspended on his lips.

_Everything._

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam reluctantly got out his phone and gave Dean a call as promised, only minutes after he said goodbye to Jess. She agreed to get in touch as soon as she spoke to her contacts, or had some idea of what they could do to help. When Sam found himself standing outside at the bottom of the steps again, cell clutched in his hand, he wondered what the hell he was supposed to do now. He was just about to leave it when Dean’s curt greeting came through the other end of the line. Sam thought he must have woken him. There was another distorted sound suggesting he was probably still in bed, soon confirmed when he heard Castiel’s sleepy voice in the background.

“Sorry, Dean.” Sam apologized. “I thought you’d be up.”

“S’okay.” There was a stiff pause that Dean seemed to stretch out for a little too long before he eventually decided to offer a blunt explanation. “Cas had a bad night.”

Sam forced himself not to say anything cutting about how he had faced the last few hours himself. Fighting off the cold air and exhaustion, as well as trying to swallow down the guilt about so easily dismissing everything that was important to Dean the day before. Castiel found it almost impossible to find a comfortable position during the long dark hours. No matter how many times Dean plumped his pillows or stroked soothing touches over his stomach, Castiel hardly managed to sleep at all - and that meant Dean hadn’t either. Sam heard the muffled rustle of sheets, everything suddenly sounding distant when Dean covered the phone with his hand. He just caught him telling Castiel to close his eyes and go back to sleep. The way Dean spoke to his precious omega was such a stark contrast to the hurt and bitter tone that soon resurfaced when he turned his attention back to Sam. “So, you got there okay?”

“I did, and I spoke to Jess.” Sam waited patiently for Dean to return to consciousness before he delivered the unpleasant news Crowley was apparently still alive and kicking, and probably resuming his disgusting activities in the basement. The only consolation was the amount of surgery he must have needed on his face to repair the damage Dean had done. Sam wondered miserably about all the other poor bastards Crowley managed to force into sexual slavery for the pitiful promise of food and shelter, and just how close Castiel had been to becoming one of them. “For the record, I’m sorry about what I said yesterday.” Sam knew he had to say something. Dean was a stubborn son of a bitch when it came to making a point, and Sam didn’t want him to refuse to go along with their plan on principle because he was still pissed at him. That would do no good to anyone, and Sam was genuinely scared for Castiel. “I didn’t mean it the way it came out. I know how much Cas means to you.” There was another heavy pause. “Is he alright now?”

“Yeah.” Dean answered, not missing the subtle attempt at redemption. “He’s a little better, thanks.”

“That’s good. Make sure you look after him, Dean.” Sam added, flinching at how patronizing that sounded. It was a stupid thing to say. Castiel was the entire world to Dean. Everything he did was just for him in some way or another. “I don’t really know what I’m trying to say, but I think I just keep making it worse. I’ll call you later.”

Sam didn’t wait for a reply, ending the conversation before Dean had chance to say anything else. Sam only needed him to understand all those things he wanted so desperately might only be a fleeting glimpse of what it would be like to look inside his own little slice of paradise. Sam knew if Dean ever lost the happiness he had found with Castiel, it would break him.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel slept for another hour at least. Dean was already fixing him breakfast when he finally got up and wandered downstairs.

“Hey.” Dean grinned at him and gestured for him to sit. “I made your favourite, babe.” He smiled again, setting down a plate in front of Castiel. Dean carefully poured him a glass of fresh orange juice and kissed him on the cheek. “No coffee, it’s not good for you while you’re expecting.” Castiel couldn’t resist a gentle smile when he nodded his thanks. Dean actively looking into how to take care of him properly while he was pregnant made him very happy. Dean seemed much more content than he had since the day they arrived and even after a sleepless night, Castiel was positively blossoming. His colour had almost returned to normal, and he was much more responsive to Dean’s touches. He still got sick once in a while, but the bleeding had stopped completely and now Dean’s only real concern was the rate at which his mate seemed to be growing. He wasn’t exactly an expert on male omega gestation, but he wasn’t stupid enough not to understand there was something very unnatural about it. Castiel had stopped throwing up non-stop days ago, and Dean could do the math on how much time had passed since he claimed him. He wondered how much Sam really knew about it, but his ego was still too bruised to call back and ask. Gabriel joined them a few minutes later. Castiel had already finished everything his mate dished out for him. Dean laughed softly while he cleared the table.

“I guess you were hungry.”

Castiel nodded, draining the last of his juice in silence before wiping the back of his hand across his mouth. He eased himself back on the chair and let out a little sigh of satisfaction. Gabriel's eyes were fixed on his growing belly from across the table, thinking back to everything he read the night before. He didn't seem to know just how much he was staring. Dean sat down between them and took a slurp of his drink.

“I’m not surprised, the rate you're growing. No wonder Sam said you could drop that any minute.”

Dean spat out a mouthful of coffee and it splattered all over the table. He coughed, hitting himself in the chest to stop himself from choking to death.

“What?” He spluttered, struggling to mop up the pool of coffee now spreading out in all directions. It took Gabriel a few seconds to answer and even then he only managed to grunt out a reply when he realized what he said. He still couldn’t seem to be able to look away from Castiel’s bump. Gabriel bit into his lip, looking up at them both in alarm. Dean must have known pregnancy usually lasted a lot longer, but Gabriel still cursed himself he could let something like that slip. Sam was gonna be pissed.

Castiel was staring back at his brother in disbelief. Dean’s lip was starting to twitch, so Gabriel knew he now had no option but to tell Castiel everything Sam shared with him the day before. Castiel needed to know why he always felt so lost without his alpha, but he tactfully left out the baby-making bit so it didn’t freak him out completely. Dean listened with his mouth open while Gabriel continued. Dean really loved the idea they had always been destined to mate. It sealed his belief in the pair-bond legend even more. There was always something missing until the minute Castiel came into his life and now he understood why.

“What else did Sam say?” Castiel asked quietly. His hands were shaking, so Dean moved behind him and gave him a hug.

“I really don’t want to upset you anymore. I’d rather you just ask Sam. He explains things so much better than me.”

“Sam’s not here, and I want to know.” Castiel replied forcefully.

“He thought there might be something significant about father having that book.” Gabriel added, scanning Castiel’s face for any change in his expression.

“How much do you think he knew about Cas?” Dean asked unexpectedly, still calming Castiel by massaging his fingers up and down his back while he stroked his hair.

“I’m starting to think it was probably much more than I guessed.” Gabriel sighed. “I’m not sure about my mother. I would like to believe she would have done more if she knew how vulnerable he was.”

“Have you any idea where she could be?”

“No, Dean.” Gabriel said sadly. He understood why she left, but he still missed her. Gabriel looked back up when an idea suddenly hit him. “Michael might know where she is, though. I imagine if she kept in touch with anyone, it would be him. They were very close once. I always suspected the main reason he got out of here so soon was because he couldn’t stand to see the way my father treated her. He used to visit every year or so, but I’ve only seen him once since the memorial.” Gabriel refused to answer any more questions after that and disappeared back up to his room with his proverbial tail between his legs.

“Cas?” Dean asked slowly. He tipped his head to one side and eyed the developing bump over Castiel’s shoulder. It seemed even more swollen than it had the night before. “I don’t wanna upset you either, but what Gabriel said has got me to thinking Sam might actually be right.” Dean closed his mouth when Castiel looked up at him like he had suddenly sprouted a pair of horns.

“I don’t want to think about it.” Castiel said quietly. Dean dropped to one knee, taking hold of both his hands. 

“Cas, you have to.” Dean pleaded. “I want you to be ready.” He gave his warmest smile when he wrapped his fingers around his wrist, easing Castiel's hand up to rest on top of his own stomach. “It’s coming soon, and I want to be right here by your side every single second.”

 Α ✫ Ω 


	53. Chapter 53

Jess sent Sam a text later that afternoon, asking him to meet her for coffee at the same shop where he first realized Gabriel wasn’t as much of a dick as Dean thought he was. It seemed so long ago. It was surreal going back there now, the memory of Gabriel’s bright eyes staring at him over the rim of a coffee carton only served to make his alpha seem even further away and out of reach. Sam missed him much more than he ever thought he would. Jess was incredibly animated while she told Sam everything she'd done in the short time since they parted that morning. She already spoke to one of the few men in the local force she trusted implicitly but she refused to say who it was, and Sam could only guess why.

“He’s going to look into it, Sam. He gave me his word.” Sam rested his elbows on the table and dropped his chin into his hands. Jess could almost see the tension drain from his face. “It looks really likely they’re going to pull Crowley’s business apart until they find some evidence. Even certain officers at the precinct are going to be under investigation.” Sam could have kissed her when she told him Dean’s extensive records were now sitting on the desk of the chief deputy.

“I don’t know how to thank you.” Sam gasped in amazement. He felt a small spark of hope that maybe his coming back was the first step to freedom for all of them.

“Well, you could start by walking me home.” She smiled. They finished their coffee. Sam held the door open for her as she dipped underneath his arm and out into the fresh air. After a while they passed by the ruins of Crowley’s office. Sam felt sick when he saw Jess might be right about Crowley's more dubious business. They both stayed out of sight on the other side of the street, but there could be no doubt people were still going down into the basement. There was a security guard on either side of the door at the bottom of the steps. Sam did his best to push away the haunting images, walking on with new determination. He wanted to be certain they would be able to hunt Crowley down until there was nowhere left for him to hide. When they finally reached her door, Sam turned to bid her goodnight, but Jess was so close to him he couldn’t manage to say anything at all.

“Where will you go now?” She asked, reaching into her pocket for the key.

“There’s a cheap motel on every corner. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay a little while longer?” Jess asked. “You can always sleep on the couch.” Sam drew in a tight breath when she edged up next to him. "If you want to." When he met the hopeful gaze in her eyes, Sam already knew where he really belonged. He just wanted to go home.

Sam was inexplicably torn between telling Jess his heart now belonged to someone else, or giving in to her advances until he achieved what he came for. He eventually settled on just resting both hands on her shoulders and gently easing her back. He was tired, and he missed Gabriel. The promise of a warm body wasn't helping his mind to focus on what needed to be done so he could return to him. Jess wasn’t sure why he would push her away now. 

“I don’t understand.” She frowned. “I thought this was what you wanted.” Sam exhaled through his nose. 

“It was.” He dropped his head. “I just… I can’t.”

“Is there someone else?” Jess asked suddenly. She had done so much to help them, it would be a dick move to lie to her. Sam nodded slowly. She smiled.

“Well. I hope you find some happiness there. God knows, you’ve earned it.”

“Thank you.”

He watched Jess disappear into the hallway with many more unanswered questions swirling around in her head. Sam just wanted to try and forget about all the little smiles and flirtatious glances she gave him over a cup of coffee. Sam walked away so fast, he was breathing heavily by the time he got to the end of the street. His first thought was to call Gabriel, so he reached for his phone again, tapping in the number with trembling fingers. He wasn’t sure if it was from the cold, or from the desperate need to hear his voice again. Sam wanted to ask him something since the night Gabriel made love to him. Taking an alpha knot was like nothing he ever felt before, and he wanted more. Gabriel answered almost immediately and Sam thought he could hear the smile in his voice.

“Hello, Sam.” Gabriel said softly. Sam leaned up against the nearest wall, and closed his eyes. As soon as he caught that gentle rumble in his alpha’s voice, all his doubt seemed to fade away. “How are you?”

“I’m alright.”

“You don’t sound alright.” Gabriel said, with concern.

“Honestly, I’m fine.” Sam replied, still not sure how he was supposed to deal with all the unexpected attention. “Jess has some contacts in the force and they’ve re-opened Dean’s case. I don’t wanna get my hopes up just yet, but I think there’s a chance here for us, Gabe, and I intend to take it.”

“That’s good, Sam.” He hesitated. “God, I wish you were here. I really missed you last night.” Sam could hear the hint of longing in his voice. 

“I missed you too. I gotta ask you something, Gabe.” Sam blurted out, before he thought too hard about the consequences of what he needed to say.

“Okay.”

“I want you to tell me why you didn’t claim me.”

“What?” Gabriel replied blankly. He had no idea where that came from, but it obviously really bothered Sam. Gabriel didn’t think it was a coincidence it had suddenly come to mind because he saw Jess again.

“I need to know. I don’t know why I do, but I just want to hear you say it.” The unexpected silence made Sam’s heart pound in his chest.

“Sam.” Gabriel said quietly. “We’ve talked about this. You know how I feel about all that alpha crap.”

“Okay.” Sam whispered. His voice was emotionless, but that didn’t stop his stomach from turning over when he thought he might have said something he shouldn’t. Gabriel could hear the hurt in that one simple word. He really didn’t want to lose the best thing that ever happened to him.

“I just need some time, Sam. That’s all.”

Sam had been so honest about his reasons for going back, he was almost tempted to tell Gabriel that Jess had practically invited him to spend the night, but he just couldn’t leave it like that. The conversation had now taken a direction he never intended and he didn’t push it. Sam had no idea how long he would have to stay, or how many lonely days it might be before he saw his alpha again. This was Dean’s one chance at salvation, and he had to take it.

Sam echoed another quiet _okay_  and ended the call with a sigh. He was all alone with his thoughts and desperate for a distraction, so he decided to head back to their abandoned apartment to see if he could manage to retrieve some of their belongings while he was in town after the epic disaster of his last attempt. Dean was still safely cuddled up at home with Castiel and Sam knew if he didn’t go now, then he probably never would. He started to walk it. It wasn’t that far, and it would give him time to clear his head and try to figure out what he really wanted. Jess was here, and she made it clear she liked him. Gabriel was miles away and so screwed up about what he was, he couldn’t even bring himself to bite him. The memory of his knot was a powerful persuasion, and Sam found himself wondering why he ever doubted that instinctive need to be with Gabriel. He deserved loyalty and trust and Sam made up his mind right there to do his best to give him both in abundance.

Sam was surprised to find the locks hadn't been changed already, and took the opportunity to stay there for the night. The place seemed cold and unfamiliar now. It wasn’t the same without the people he loved to share it. In the morning he moved quickly, gathering up some important documents and grabbing another holdall from the cupboard in the hall. He stuffed it to breaking point and carefully slotted all the papers down the side to keep them safe. Jess had arranged to meet him for lunch and Sam left the apartment as soon as it was fully light. He knew it was the last time he would ever close that door behind him.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Jess was happily munching away at her salad while Sam read through some of the information. He drained his juice, and deposited all the papers on the table in a messy pile.

“What is all this?” Sam asked, pulling a face when he saw the titles on some of the print-outs. “Statute of limitations? Systems that classify felonies by category?” He pushed his hands into his hair. “Seriously, I haven’t had enough sleep for this. What does it mean?”

“I think Dean might be able to get off a few of the lesser charges 'cause they happened so long ago.”

“Because he never got caught?”

“Pretty much. Technically, he should have remained in state but legally, it’s hardly worth pursuing. There’s no eyewitness testimony, very little genuine evidence and the statute of limitations for most of his offenses was only three years.”

“But that’s wonderful, isn’t it?” Sam grinned wide. “Doesn’t that mean he can’t be prosecuted for those?” Jess nodded, but she didn’t seem particularly happy about it and Sam suspected there was a much more serious reason why she hadn’t smiled back.

“Yes, and no. My contact seemed fairly sure most of those will be cleared, but he’s still got an attempted murder charge on his file and he certainly has enough motive to be a suspect for the arson.”

“But Dean didn’t start that fire.” Sam said, with some conviction. His brother had been long gone before that happened, and Gabriel as good as implied that he was the one responsible for that little act of vigilante justice.

“There’s no real evidence other than the fact he was at the scene, but like you said, there are plenty of officers willing to swear it was him. Crowley has been out to get him from day one, and taking Castiel away from him is just one more reason to want Dean locked up for good.”

“But you can’t just pay people off like that.”

“Well apparently, you can.” Jess said cynically.

“What about this self-defense plea you were talking about?” Jess chewed the inside of her cheek.

“It was just an idea.”

“Yeah? Well, it sounded like a pretty good one to me.” Sam encouraged. He wasn't sure why Jess felt the need to pause again.

“It means he would have to testify.” She added uncertainly. Sam already made it abundantly clear Dean had no intention of coming back to a place where he was public enemy number one. He would refuse to abandon Castiel so that would mean he would have to come back too, and she couldn’t even imagine how difficult that would be for him after everything that happened. “Dean would have to face the man who almost broke the love of his life. I’m not sure he would be able to keep his hands off his throat. I don’t expect he would want to come alone.”

“Shit.” Sam sighed. That hadn’t even occurred to him. “It’s not that. I just know there’s no way he can leave Cas. Not just because they’re mated, but because he can’t have the pup without Dean and we don’t know how long he has left. They’re too dependent on each other.”

“Have the pup?” Jess asked, in confusion. “He can’t be more than a few weeks, why on earth would he be worried about that?”

“Long story.” Sam replied.

“Where am I gonna go?” Jess shrugged.

“Okay. But remember, you asked. You better order another drink, this might take a while.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Jess exhaled a rush of air when Sam finally finished his account of everything that happened since they made a run for it.

“But that’s impossible... ” She whispered.

“Trust me, nothing surprises me anymore.”

“…and you and Gabriel? Huh. I never would have put you two together, but there you go. My loss is his gain, I suppose.”

“Jess, please don’t think I meant to do anything to hurt you. I didn’t expect it to happen myself if I’m honest, but I dunno.” Sam laughed. “He just kinda grew on me.” He didn't want to say too much, suspecting she might not be quite so inclined to help under the circumstances.

“If you’re worried that you banging Gabriel would change my mind, you’re wrong. I care about Castiel and from what you said just now, he needs someone to look out for him, and I want to help Dean. What he did was very brave and Castiel deserves to be happy.” Jess really was very perceptive. Sam knew he would never be able to repay her kindness. He hoped one day she would find someone who deserved her. “Listen.” She continued. “Meet up with me again tomorrow. I think you should go back home tonight, and try to persuade Dean to come back so we can start on his defense. I need to make some phone calls and get us a decent lawyer.”

“But I hitched all the way here.” Sam complained. “I don’t know if I should go back yet, anyway. I swore I wouldn’t let this rest ‘til I was done.”

“You’re not going to be able to fight this one on your own, Sam. I have a bit of money put away you can use. Besides, I’m sure Gabriel would be very pleased to see you.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean spent most of the day trying to think of something nice for Castiel to cheer him up after Gabriel managed to put the fear of God into him when he told him what was in his father’s book. He really wanted to take him into town to get a few of whatever classified in the Winchester glossary of _essentials_ for the pup’s arrival. Dean had absolutely zero experience with babies and was silently hoping one of the others at least might have some idea of what they would need. Gabriel diplomatically suggested they should probably just leave it to him. He made a point of saying he practically brought Castiel up anyway, and there was no way he could advocate Dean going outside until they were sure the danger had passed. Dean reluctantly agreed. It would be stupid to risk giving himself away now when they were so close to having everything they wanted. Gabriel’s house was actually the only place Dean ever felt half-way safe.

Gabriel was so insistent about him staying put, Dean finally relented when Gabriel fetched a pad and pen from the office and sat them both down to draw up a list. Dean then left Castiel to rest and followed Gabriel up to the attic to see what they could salvage for the baby before Gabriel started ordering random stuff. Dean was bored after a few minutes and he wanted Castiel. Dean shouted his name through the hatch a couple of times and dropped down through the hole when he got no reply. The silence was so unnerving, Dean ran back through the house to find Castiel sitting at the bottom of the stairs with one palm resting either side of his belly and his head tipped forward. He was gasping for breath. Dean saw him bite into his lip when a sudden throb of agony surged through his body. That was more than enough to send Dean into protective overdrive.

“Cas?” Dean shouted, his face twisted with panic at the thought of Castiel being in pain. Dean rushed past and dropped between his mate’s knees. He ran his hands up the inside of Castiel’s thighs and instinctively pushed them between his legs to see if they were wet. Dean gasped a small sigh of relief and moved his hands up a little higher until they were covering Castiel’s where they were pressed into his sides. He felt the muscles twitch under his skin.

“Oh God, Cas. No. It’s too soon.” His muscles were almost unbearably tight, and there was a flurry of movement just under the surface. Dean rested his face against Castiel’s stomach and whispered calming words to the baby like he was willing it to stay put. The pup seemed to respond to the sound of his voice when a particularly determined movement under his cheek made his mouth break into a wide grin. The pain stopped, and Dean sensed Castiel relax under his touch. “See.” Dean smiled again. “My puppy knows her daddy’s voice when she hears it.” Castiel gave Dean a playful tap. His breathing slowly returned to normal. 

“You mean _he_.”

“Nah.” Dean said with a smirk, when he saw the indignation on Castiel’s face. “Definitely a girl.”

“You don’t know that.” Castiel was taking it all very seriously, but Dean could see relief flood through him when the pain gradually faded. The ache was still there, but he didn’t feel the same sense of urgency. It wasn’t ready to come just yet. Castiel suddenly curled his fingers into Dean’s hair where his head was resting on his lap. He didn’t have to explain. Dean knew exactly what he was thinking.

“Hey.” Dean pacified. “I know you’re scared. Maybe that was just a practice run. I don’t care how many times I have to tell you this, but I’m not going anywhere, Cas. Not while I have a single breath left in me will I ever let anyone drag me away from you.” Castiel managed to force a smile, and Dean could see just how hard he was trying to pretend he was okay.

“I know you mean it.” Castiel said. “But it’s not just that. I don’t know if I can do this.” Dean actually laughed.

“Well it’s a little bit late for that, don’t ya think?” Castiel was at the mercy of his hormones again, and Dean could see he would have to be slightly more sensitive. “Cas, it’s coming whether we’re ready or not, so let’s just try to be happy about it, okay?”

“Okay.”

Dean pushed himself up on his knees. He pressed a few delicate kisses against Castiel’s lips that soon developed into a possessive need to seal himself inside his mouth again. Dean was making delicious little sounds that vibrated across Castiel’s tongue and made him arch into the touch. Dean carried him back to bed and spent most of the afternoon petting him until he felt better.

 Α ✫ Ω 


	54. Chapter 54

Sam couldn’t express the feeling of joy that washed over him when he walked back up the winding driveway that evening. It was everything that was safe, and warm and _home_. He already sent a quick text to Dean to tell him he was on his way back with a proposition he didn’t think he would be able to refuse. Dean wasn’t really annoyed with him so much anymore, but he couldn’t stop himself letting Sam know how much his precious alpha really upset Castiel by telling him everything he knew about his condition. Gabriel should probably have kept most of that to himself, because now Castiel was even more distressed about having the pup than he ever was before.

Sam tried to be angry at Gabriel, but he really had missed him. He had no desire to start an argument and waste time fighting when they could be making out. He decided to go in gently with a subtle reprimand. But when he saw him standing in the doorway with lamp light soaking him in a golden glow that was almost the same colour as the bright eyes shining through the darkness to welcome him home, everything went to shit.

“Hello, Sam.”

“Hey, Gabe. I can’t tell you how pleased I am to see you, but apparently I have to give you what for.”

“Sorry?”

“Cas. Dean said you scared the crap outta him. Now he’s terrified of having the baby and you didn’t exactly help by telling him he’s probably going to suffer horribly.” Gabriel’s face crumpled. He hoped that might have been forgotten.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to tell him, but Dean was just staring at me and I panicked.” Sam couldn’t stay mad at him when he looked so pathetic. He shook his head with a quiet laugh, and pulled Gabriel towards him.

“What am I gonna do with you, huh?” Their mouths were almost touching. Sam felt a sudden pang of guilt. He hadn’t exactly told him everything either.

“So you saw Jess, then.” Gabriel said slowly, a sudden tightness to his voice betraying his calm expression.

“Yes, I saw her. She asked me to stay with her, you know.” Gabriel’s gentle smile quickly descended into kicked puppy and Sam cursed himself for just coming out with it like that. He wanted Gabriel to know he stayed true to him. Just because they weren’t mated yet, didn’t mean Sam didn’t value his affection.

“Did you?” Gabriel asked in a broken whisper. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to know the answer.

“No, I didn’t.” Sam moved even closer, resting his hands on Gabriel’s waist. He touched the ends of their noses together.

“You didn’t?”

“No, I didn’t.” Sam repeated. “I didn’t, because I don’t want that, you idiot.” Sam groaned with frustration at how dense that man could be when it came to understanding how someone really felt about him. He could feel hot spurts of Gabriel’s rapid breaths skitter across his mouth. “I want you.” Gabriel suddenly launched himself at Sam, kissing him so forcefully he couldn’t breathe. When he finally pulled away, all the jealousy and doubt were gone for good.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam had barely taken off his jacket and fixed something to eat, before he was on to Dean, trying to convince him he had to go back and testify in his defense. He told him a lot of what he could remember from his conversation with Jess, and explained that some of his charges had already been thrown out. He was almost certain someone down at the precinct had falsified evidence, and they just needed to prove it. Basically, they had to make the best of a bad situation and take the risk. Castiel was listening to everything Sam said. He started to curl in on himself again, eyes darting between Dean and Sam while he gradually understood what was being asked of them.

“I can’t, Dean.” Castiel suddenly gasped out, with all that familiar breathlessness that once dictated his entire existence. He was begging Dean with his eyes not to make him re-live some of the horrors that still haunted him in his sleep.

“Dean.” Sam said firmly. “If you don’t do this, you’ll be running forever.” Dean was trying to balance it all out in his head. His gaze never left Castiel’s face.

“If I do this.” Dean asked calmly. “Will it be over?” 

“All I know, is if you don’t do this, it will _never_  be over.” Castiel buried his face in his hands. Dean could see his shoulders shaking. He would do anything to protect him.

“Cas?” Dean walked over to him, slowly sliding both arms around his mate and holding him tight. “You can do it, I know you can. We’ve got a chance here, a chance to be free. I want my child to know me, and I don’t want to spend the rest of my fucking life looking over my shoulder.” When Castiel lifted up his head, Dean could see his eyes were wet.

“I’m scared, but if _you_ want to go Dean, I will follow you. I would follow you anywhere.” Dean gave him a fond smile and stroked one thumb across his cheek.

“Come on, baby.” Dean said, reaching for Castiel’s hand and turning his head to look into Sam’s eyes. He felt so much braver when he saw his brother give him that special smile he always used to show Dean he was proud of him. He gently pulled Castiel up until he was close enough to breathe him in. Dean rested both hands on his ass and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Let’s put that bastard where he belongs.”

Castiel was suddenly holding onto Dean, burying his face in the dip of his shoulder. Dean could feel him trembling against his skin. The thought of having to look once more into the cold dark eyes of a man who intended to sell his virtue to the highest bidder was more than he could bear to think about. Dean didn’t say anything then, but he was scared the stress of it all could jeopardize everything he cared about. 

“I don’t want to go back.” It only came out as a muffled whisper where Castiel was pressed up against Dean’s body. He just agreed to follow his alpha anywhere, but now reality had hit, he wondered if he could really do it.

“I know you don’t, who would?” Dean caressed Castiel’s hair. “But I’ll be with you and you know I would never let anyone hurt you again.” He took Castiel’s face in his hands and looked into his eyes. “You trust me, don’t you?”

“With my life.” Castiel smiled, leaning into Dean’s touch. He felt a contented sigh brush against his cheek when Dean realized how much he meant that. Sam encouraged Gabriel to help him get everything ready. They still needed to have that conversation that was left unfinished, but it would have to wait for now. There was no way they could expect Castiel to walk any distance, and Dean was so protective of him, he would probably offer to carry him the whole way. Sam knew they all needed their strength if they were going to give it everything they had, and fight for Dean’s freedom.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam stayed in contact with Jess for a few days after he returned home. Gabriel never said anything. He didn’t like it, but they didn’t really have much of a choice if they wanted to stay in the loop. There was no point in Sam going back alone until the police were ready for them, so they agreed to leave as soon as Jess gave them the word. Sam seemed very satisfied with the progress she was making and was more hopeful than ever that maybe Dean and Castiel would get their fairy-tale ending after all.

 Α ✫ Ω 

It was almost two weeks before Sam got the call that would draw them back. The next morning they were all on their way to a city they once ran from with fear in their hearts. Jess had already arranged to meet them outside the courthouse first so she could fill in some of the many empty spaces, and explain what had happened since the last time she saw Sam.

“I really am proud of you, Dean.” Sam said quietly, when they approached the main entrance. He could see Jess standing by the doors next to a man he didn’t recognize. He was holding a briefcase in one hand and a heavy paper folder in the other. Sam gave her a small wave to let her know they were as ready as they were ever going to be. She smiled warmly at him when they walked up the steps to meet her.

“Hello, Castiel.” Jess said softly, dropping down to stand just in front of him. She expected a shuddering wreck, but he looked much healthier than she remembered, and many of the little gestures that once made all his anxieties so obvious were almost gone completely. Jess beamed with delight and tentatively reached out to rest her palm against Castiel’s stomach. She'd never even heard of a pregnant male omega before, let alone seen one, and she was almost scared to touch him. “Can I?” She asked uncertainly, while her hand hovered over his bump. Castiel gave her a shy nod, and she smoothed her hand over his round, swollen curves. Jess let out a happy little noise when a delicate movement tickled her skin. “I’m so glad you finally found something wonderful.”

“Thank you.” Castiel whispered modestly, sensing Dean practically preen with pride where he was resting up against him.

“Hello, Dean. Okay?” Jess asked hesitantly.

“Not even close.”

“You know, you don’t _have_ to do this.”

“Yes I do.” Dean replied. He looked down at Castiel, the only incentive he needed to see it through to the end. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take to make sure my family will be safe.” Jess didn’t reply. That told her everything about his worth as a mate. She no longer had any doubt Castiel would always be well taken care of. She gestured for them to lead the way and Dean wrapped his arm around Castiel’s waist while he helped him up the steps.

Jess introduced them to the attorney she managed to hire at such short notice, and Sam thanked her over and over again for everything she'd done while they walked down the imposing hallway and into the main court. Dean was quickly briefed on the need to testify against Crowley. He had been taken into custody after a raid on his offices and the contact told her in confidence they found enough to haul him in on kidnapping charges. There was also a paper trail linking him back to several officers down at the precinct who had been in charge of the Winchester investigation. Dean had clearly been motivated by a desire to rescue his mate from a fate worse than death, and they were going to use that to try and get the more serious complaints against him dropped. Male omega sympathies weren’t exactly high on the civil agenda, but false imprisonment was a serious crime. If there was enough evidence to back up Dean’s story, it was likely Crowley would be going away for a long time. They all waited impatiently for almost an hour. Dean was suddenly pulled from his thoughts when a shadow approached and stirred him back to the present.

“I know you.” Dean murmured, when someone in a dark suit moved past him. There was a flicker of recognition between them when the man suddenly stopped, hesitantly turning to look at Dean over his shoulder. He quickly doubled back.

“Winchester, right?” He asked slowly, realizing he was staring at a distant memory of a shameful past.

“Yeah.” Dean replied. There was no point in hiding who he was anymore. Not if they wanted this nightmare to finally be over. “I remember you. You helped me get away.” The man smiled at him.

“I did. You saved that poor omega.” He was so focused on Dean, he hadn’t even noticed Castiel standing right beside him. He inhaled a sharp breath in surprise when he saw his hand resting in Dean’s. “Now I understand.” He sighed. “That’s a rare love you have there.” Dean squeezed Castiel’s fingers a little tighter. “I know I did the right thing.” Wade turned his attention to Castiel. “You didn’t belong there. You never did, and I’m truly glad Winchester saved you from that hell hole.” Castiel gave him a grateful smile when Dean held out one hand to make his peace. Wade took it gladly.

“I could never have left him there.” Dean replied, more for Castiel than the man who was now staring at him in awe because Dean would rather die than ever have to endure one second of existence without him. “I was kinda hoping maybe some of the others got away too.” Wade shook his head sadly.

“Actually, it got much worse after that. Crowley kicked me out and threatened to press charges against me. I’ve never seen him so angry.” Dean jerked his head up. He never wanted to be responsible for causing anyone to suffer more indignity because of what he'd done. “Well, you did break his face. I don’t think he will ever forgive you for that.”

“He deserved it.” Dean spat, the memory of what Crowley did to Castiel making him want to punch something. “That’s the last thing I want. He can cram his forgiveness up his ass.” Wade finally released Dean’s hand, with a new respect for this man who had cost him immunity from Crowley’s wrath. He was surprisingly okay with that. “He hurt my boy. I hope they lock him up for good.”

“I know.” Wade nodded. “It took me a while to realize how blind I was. It's a hell of a risk coming here, but you were right. He’s a danger to people like your mate, and he needs putting somewhere where he can’t hurt anyone else.” He took another breath. “Be warned though, he has a lot of influence here. I wouldn’t get your hopes up just yet.” Castiel suddenly felt like he was going to be sick again. That wasn't something he expected to hear. Jess practically made out the trial was just a formality, and that everything was already cut and dried. Castiel had gone back there believing all Dean had to do to get his charges dropped was to tell the truth. Castiel leaned against him when he realized he’d been kidding himself it would really be that easy.

“Dean, I don’t feel well.” Castiel murmured. Wade glanced over at him with a sympathetic smile when he noticed Castiel was pregnant. He didn’t really know why, but he had a sudden desire to save him from any more injustice. He turned to Dean.

“Come on, Winchester. Let’s take him down.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean had no idea it would take so long to process every little piece of evidence, constantly telling anyone who would listen that the amount of adjournments was getting ridiculous. He just wanted to go home with Castiel, so they could lock themselves away for a while. Dean wanted to get some precious alone time with him before the baby came and he hated wearing a suit. It was stiff and uncomfortable, and it would have been nice to be able to take a breath without worrying his tie was going to cut off the circulation. They had already been there a full week, and Dean was starting to jiggle around in his seat more impatiently with every tortuous day that passed in an unnecessary cycle of witness statements and cross-examinations.

Jess tried hard to encourage him while it dragged on, but Dean was starting to get nervous about the outcome and he didn’t want to hear it. He didn't seem to understand they had to do everything they could to establish their defense before they could move on and bring him in. Dean was pulling at his collar again with Castiel curled up at his side when the doors suddenly swung open at the end of the corridor, and there he was. Castiel never feared anything the way he once feared Crowley, and the threat of his presence made him clutch at Dean when they brought him down the hall with an officer flanking each side. Dean slowly stood up, dragging Castiel up with him where both arms were slipped inside Dean’s elbow.

Crowley hesitated mid-step when he was led past them on his way into the courtroom. His wrists were pulled behind his back by restraints, expression a strange combination of disbelief and some kind of twisted amusement when he realized Castiel was carrying a pup. His eyes rested heavily on his stomach. He couldn’t even pretend to hide his look of disgust, the arrogant smirk on his face showing he just couldn't resist that one last opportunity to say something hurtful.

“So, you knocked the little bitch up, did you?” Crowley mocked, a cruel laugh making Dean’s skin prickle with anger. The silver promise band Dean had given Castiel was still wrapped gracefully around his finger. As soon as Crowley noticed it, he forced an unpleasant grunt. Dean saw his lip twitch while he stared at it. “Well, aren’t you just the cat that got the cream? Actually… more like a pathetic dependent puppy to some needy little omega who was obviously too scared to say no to you.” Dean felt the rage rise up inside him so fast he could feel saliva pooling in his mouth. He wanted to rip Crowley apart, but he couldn’t allow himself to give in to that raw instinct. Not here.

“At least I have him with me because I love him, not because I want to line my pocket. You sick fuck.”

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere, Winchester.” Crowley clicked his tongue behind his teeth. “Disgraceful. Taking advantage of him like that, and you think I’m the one who needs to be locked up.” Dean almost thought it would be worth it to teach him a lesson for that, but Castiel held him back when he saw Dean ball one hand into a fist.

“Dean… don’t.”

He started to pull free of the gentle touch, the need to break the other side of that smirking face almost winning over. Sam could see a throbbing pulse pounding in his brother’s neck, and quickly reached forward to make a desperate grab for the back of his jacket. Dean eventually shook him off with a growl and walked away to adjust his shirt.

“Putting on a few extra pounds there, princess.” Crowley added, when he passed them. Dean was back beside his mate in a second, glaring at Crowley with a silent warning he was in danger of crossing a line. “Sure that’s yours, are you?” He gave a nod that was clearly directed at the pup. “I know first-hand what a little whore he is, remember?” Dean bit hard into his lip to stop himself from tearing Crowley to pieces. “Do the math, you moron.”

“You don’t know shit.” Sam cut in. He was almost tempted to tell him they knew how special Castiel was, but for Dean's sake, he thought better of it.

“That’s not true.” Castiel said quietly. He looked so scared, Sam could have gone for Crowley himself for making Castiel suffer that emotion again when Dean had worked so tirelessly to make him feel safe. “You were my first, Dean. My only.”

“I know that, Cas.” Dean said with sincerity. He drew Castiel in close to cuddle him when Crowley was finally dragged away and out of spitting distance. Dean stroked one hand down the middle of Castiel’s back to calm him. “Don’t think for one minute I believe anything that comes out that cesspit he calls a mouth.”

 Α ✫ Ω 


	55. Chapter 55

The weeks passed slowly after that, for the most part just repetitive and tedious. Castiel waited anxiously while people filed in and out of the courtroom with fragments of evidence, and shameful attempts by Crowley’s defense team to try and turn everything around. To somehow make it seem like he was the one who had been victimized, despite all the accusations against him. They had to sit through endless witness statements and an uncomfortable series of crime scene photos that showed what the inside of the club looked like after Dean paid Crowley a visit that night. Castiel was starting to look more exhausted as each day went by. He was still terrified Dean might be taken from him. Some of those left behind had been responsible for the rest of the carnage, and Crowley took pleasure in claiming many allegations of assault. He testified his former employees violated him and left him for dead. Dean thought that _slaves_ would probably have been a better word. He might have laughed at the nerve of the man, if he hadn’t been so concerned about Castiel and the pup. It looked like it had dropped low over the last couple of weeks. Even Dean knew enough to understand that meant he was getting close.

Jess seemed to have formed an unlikely friendship with Wade since they were introduced. Sam’s suspicions about their interest in each other were soon confirmed when he saw them hand in hand when they came in one morning. Wade seemed so taken with her, Sam even let go of some of the guilt he held onto after he made it clear he would always choose Gabriel’s affections over hers. She finally said something about it when their defense statements were coming to an end.

“I think I might have found the right one at last. Actually, he reminds me of you.” Jess laughed. Sam didn’t seem to share her amusement. Being compared to one of Crowley’s rehabilitated henchmen wasn't exactly the epitaph he wanted carved on his tombstone. Sam had to smile at the way her golden curls bounced off her shoulders when she walked back down the corridor with Wade close by her side. Sam really hoped she was right.

The days stretched into weeks, and the pup seemed to be growing at such an alarming rate, Sam was starting to wonder if Castiel would be able to hold on to it long enough for Dean to finish giving evidence and for the trial to be over. If he'd known it would have taken so long, Sam might not have been quite so insistent they couldn’t risk waiting until after the birth. He had no idea how close Castiel was, but he looked almost ready to burst. Sam was staring aimlessly at him again when the main doors swung open, and they were all called back in for the verdict.

Castiel was now visibly shaking. He watched Dean rise when they called his name. Sam held his breath when Gabriel’s fingers searched for his hand while they waited. Sam didn’t look down, but a feeling of warmth spread out inside him at the touch. They held hands while the foreman stood up to speak. Castiel could hardly stand to listen, covering his face with both hands. He wept openly with relief when Dean’s charge of attempted murder was reduced, and all others dropped because Crowley had already been found guilty of running several illegal rackets, and offering the services of underage boys to some of his clients. The argument based on Dean’s claim of self-defense was upheld as a fundamental human right and accepted he had only been protecting Castiel. They discharged some of the officers from duty and arrested others who were found to have taken bribes from Crowley. Dean’s case was finally dismissed due to official corruption, and lack of valid evidence he acted on anything other than love for his mate. It was generally believed Crowley fabricated most of his story to get back at Dean for taking Castiel in the first place.

Luckily, Jess had been right about the misdemeanours being out of limitations after three years. Dean had to lean over the bench for support when they handed him a twelve month suspended and a few hundred dollars in fines. As soon as he was released, Dean ran to Castiel and smothered him in a suffocating hug. He lifted his mate completely clear of the ground and twirled him around in the air until he was begging Dean to put him down. Castiel was laughing like he no longer had a care in the world, but his happiness was suddenly cut short. Dean instinctively reached out to support him when he felt his legs buckle, dropping to his knees and catching Castiel just before he hit the floor. He came to in Dean’s arms a few minutes later with a hazy view of many faces peering down at him. He sat up with a jolt and dug his fingers into Dean’s hand when a pain shot down his side. Dean propped him against Sam while he rushed off to fetch a cup of water from the cooler in the lobby.

“You’re alright now, Cas. It’s over.” Sam said kindly. He watched Dean disappear down the corridor. Castiel felt Sam take his arm and try to get him to stand, but everything still seemed so blurry. “Come on, up you get. We’re going home.” Castiel inhaled a shaky breath. He couldn’t think straight, and he had a dull ache in his back that rendered him completely dependent on Sam to hold him up. He let out a gentle cry when he bent forward to try and stop a sudden surge of pain. Dean met his eyes when he returned with a white paper cone in one hand.

He was finally a free man, but there was no time for them to celebrate. He could see Castiel’s face was completely drained of colour, those beautiful blue eyes wide and unblinking while he gazed back, staring helplessly at his alpha in alarm. Castiel felt something wet gush out of him and spread quickly down the inside of his thighs.

“Dean.” Castiel gasped out a little breathless whisper, another searing contraction pushing through his body. “I think it’s coming.” Little droplets of water splashed all over Dean’s boots before he even registered the cup had slipped through his fingers. He practically threw himself forward and reached for Castiel to steady him. He eased him down gently onto the nearest bench and positioned himself on his knees between his mate’s legs. Dean lightly rubbed his hands across the damp material, staring up at Sam with a desperate look of hopelessness in his eyes.

“Is he bleeding?” Dean whispered, cautiously examining the tips of his fingers. They were coated with a thin layer of sticky fluid.

“No, Dean.” Sam said patiently. He tried to move his brother aside, but Dean wouldn’t budge. “His waters have broken, is all. The pup’s coming and we need to get him to hospital.” Dean suspected as much when Castiel looked at him so helplessly. He was soon caught somewhere between panic and an impossible level of excitement. His mouth was curved up at one side, eyes shining while he stroked and cosseted Castiel and encouraged him to breathe in and out through his nose. “Dean.” Sam said, with a soft smile. “He doesn’t need to do that yet.”

“Sam, stop panicking…. you’re just making it worse.” Dean shouted, tapping his brother’s hand away in irritation.

“Okay, big guy. Come on.” Sam said firmly, pulling Dean to his feet and depositing him none too gently into another seat. Sam patted him on the back and leaned him forward so he could put his head between his knees and take a few deep breaths. Dean’s over-protectiveness was in danger of rapidly descending into hysteria and Sam needed his brother to be calm because Castiel looked absolutely terrified. He was now surrounded by people who seemed to be genuinely concerned for him, but Sam could see so much attention was just making him claustrophobic and none of it was helping at all.

Sam left Dean in the recovery position, and scanned the room for Gabriel. He couldn’t see him anywhere, cursing him under his breath for being a total jerk and leaving when he needed him most. He really hoped the little pup was actually ready to make an appearance. Castiel looked full-term for most of the trial, but Sam was still concerned an early labour had been triggered by all the emotional stress of the last few weeks. Castiel was already physically exhausted. Maybe the sudden rush of intoxicating release at Dean’s acquittal had finally been too much for his delicate body. Dean hadn’t even been able to take a moment to appreciate his freedom. He was really going to be there to watch his child take its first breath of life. He could hardly believe it. There were no words that could ever explain how staggering that felt after so much time running and hiding.

Dean would probably sleep for a week. If the pup would let him.

Gabriel hadn’t really abandoned them. He realized what was happening as soon as he saw Castiel double over and immediately leapt into action, running back to reception and calling the emergency services. Within a matter of minutes, they heard the unmistakable sound of an approaching siren. Dean’s head jerked back up just in time to see paramedics streaming in through the main entrance. Castiel was now panting heavily. He was helped to his feet and carried into the waiting ambulance. Sam couldn’t be sure whether it was the fear or the pain that was making him hyperventilate. He waited anxiously with Gabriel while they watched Dean climb in beside Castiel and reach for his hand. Dean saw Sam mouth the words _good luck_ just before the doors closed shut.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel was really struggling to resist the urge to push by the time he was brought into the labour ward, and Dean was shoved aside while Castiel was lifted onto a freshly made bed. The midwife on duty was reviewing the file one of the paramedics handed her on the way in.

“There are no scans or any medical notes.” She said suddenly, looking up at Dean and right into his eyes. He knew she was waiting for some kind of explanation, but he didn’t have one. All he could manage was a weak smile in way of an apology. “So, how has the pregnancy been monitored?”

“It hasn’t.” Dean felt a sudden rush of shame that Castiel never had any prenatal care at all. “Long story.” He stared at the ground.

“Do you at least know his dates?”

Another surge of guilt. Dean shook his head.

“Not really… maybe about sixteen weeks.”

“Sixteen weeks?” The midwife gasped. She didn’t seem very convinced. “But he looks full-term.”

“Yeah, I know.” Dean could feel the burn of colour rising on his cheeks while he drowned in humiliation.

“Let me guess.” She sighed. “Another long story?”

“Yeah.”

“Well quite obviously, I knew it wasn't a normal pregnancy when he came through the door. You don't need to worry. We’ll do what we can for him.” She said kindly, and touched Dean’s arm. “I’m sure they’ll both be fine.”

Dean didn't think Castiel was ready to have the baby yet and was working on the same intuition as Sam, that all the emotional strain had finally pushed him into an early labour. There was nothing he could do to change it. The little pup was coming whether it was ready or not. Dean believed the deep bond he shared with Castiel had somehow allowed him to be there to hold his baby when it came into the world. Fate had always been on their side. He was so grateful for the chance to see the man he loved give birth to their child. Dean stood faithfully by the bedside, watching them slide his mate into a shapeless gown and spread his legs apart to examine him.

“Is this your first?” The midwife asked conversationally. She started to attach two round pads to his chest to monitor his heart. Castiel hadn’t really noticed before how much it had filled out since he'd been carrying the pup.

“First and last.” Castiel forced out, pulling up his knees and slipping both hands underneath his thighs to give himself some leverage to push when the contractions came again. Dean laughed nervously and glanced up at her. He thought she was taking it all rather well considering. Dean was hoping Castiel might change his mind about that one day, but now probably wasn't the best time to bring up the topic of expanding their family.

He could see Castiel’s lip pale where his teeth were pressed deep into the skin when another wave of pain pulsed through him. He bent his body forward, instinctively bowing his head to help push the baby down into position. Dean reached for his hand again, and Castiel squeezed his fingers like he never wanted to let go. Dean would have willingly taken all that pain for him if he could. He leaned in close to rub small circles over his mate's back while he held on to him, letting Castiel crush his hand when the pain came again.

“Come on, baby. You’re doing so good.” Dean whispered in encouragement. Castiel was too focused on trying to regulate his breaths to even look at him.

“Fuck you, Winchester. You’re never touching me again.” Castiel cried out. Another agonizing contraction ripped through his body.

“You don’t mean that.” Dean cooed into his hair. His mate glared up at him with blue eyes of steel that almost wasted him on the spot. Dean kissed the top of his head and swept the damp hair back from his brow when perspiration started to leak out of him from the effort of holding back. His cheeks were shiny and pink. Castiel endured every single contraction for almost two hours, but they were still a few minutes apart and Dean was getting more anxious every time Castiel bore down. He was in pain, and already exhausted, but he still didn’t seem to be getting any closer to delivering. A nurse Dean hadn’t seen before suddenly breezed into the room with a stack of paperwork in her hand. She made straight for him.

“Mr Winchester?” She tried. Dean turned to look at her, but she didn’t smile. “It’s not going well. We think the baby might be stuck.” Dean felt his stomach turn over. He couldn’t even form a single word in response and just blinked at her. “Would you consider an abdominal delivery to make sure the little one is out before it gets even more distressed?”

“You mean like a C-section?” Dean asked at last. She nodded.

“No, Dean.” Castiel said quietly. 

“Cas.” Dean soothed him. “Maybe it - ”

“I said no.” Castiel replied adamantly, before Dean could even finish his sentence. He wanted Dean to be the first one to hold their pup. The midwife looked concerned when she rested her hand gently on his stomach.

“If you're really going to try and have a natural delivery, then I'll have to call for the ob-gyn and see what he suggests. He might be able to manually turn it inside you to get the head into a better position, but if the baby is at risk then we’ll have no option but to do an emergency one anyway.” She disappeared behind the plastic curtain. Dean swallowed down his fear. Castiel closed his eyes to rest for a minute so he could gather up enough strength to go on. All the futile pushing had left him completely spent and he just wanted to fall asleep and make the pain go away. Dean tugged at his hand, softly calling his name until Castiel opened his eyes again and gazed up at his alpha with the most heart-breaking look of defeat Dean had ever seen on him.

“Don’t give up, Cas.” Dean pulled Castiel’s hand up to his mouth and lovingly kissed his fingertips. “Just a few more pushes.”

“I can’t do it, Dean. I can’t.” Castiel was sobbing with exhaustion. He turned his face away and twisted his hand into the sheet. His whole body felt like it was being ripped apart.

“Cas.” Dean comforted, stroking the hair tenderly from his face. “I never said this to you before, but you can be so strong when you have to be and I know you can do this. God, I love you so much.” His voice was strained with raw emotion from having to watch his beloved mate suffer so much pain. The specialist had just arrived, and Dean’s attention was suddenly pulled back to the hushed conversation behind him.

“If he was able to conceive, then I assume he can give birth naturally. His bloods show a high level of oxytocin which should help with the contractions and soften the anal passage, but I’m not sure it’s going to be enough.” Dean’s heart started to pound, standing back patiently while the medics moved in again. Castiel wearily lifted up his hips until his legs were spread wide enough for the doctor to be able to reach down and try to manipulate the pup’s tiny body free, so he could pull it into a better position. Castiel didn’t think it was possible to feel any more pain, but it was so intense he imagined he might be torn open if it stayed inside him much longer. He could feel the burn of mounting pressure with every second that dragged by. Dean almost passed out cold when he realized the doctor was already up to his wrist.

“You’re really hurting him.” Dean whispered, tears of sympathy starting to well up at the corners of his eyes. “Please, just hurry.” Castiel tensed, a string of curses falling from his mouth until he couldn’t take it anymore and was begging them to get it out of him. After a few skillful touches, the doctor finally sat back and pulled off his gloves with a sigh.

“It’s coming. Here.” He said, guiding Castiel’s hand over his stomach. “It’s nearly there.”

Castiel gasped in another sob when he hesitantly felt down between his legs to touch the top of the baby’s head. His fingertips brushed against a soft curve. It only gave him more determination to push the pup out on his own. He was fading in and out of consciousness when he thought he heard muffled voices talking to Dean, and someone might have said something about eight centimetres, but then he was gone again. Dean couldn’t hide his concern this time when he saw a stream of clear fluid tainted with streaks of blood leak out from between Castiel’s legs when a violent contraction tore through him.

“Just one more push, sweetheart. It’s coming.”

Α ✫ Ω 


	56. Chapter 56

Castiel suddenly felt his whole body go limp when the muscles relaxed again. He almost wanted to give up and let them just cut it out of him. Dean sensed he had so little fight left, he came close to signing the papers until Castiel looked up at him through his tears. His heart melted when he saw the hope there in Dean’s eyes. He would somehow find the strength to give him the pup they had both fallen in love with before it had even taken its first breath. Castiel gave Dean a weak smile while he stroked his hand.

“You stubborn bastard.” Dean murmured. Castiel arched his back and squeezed Dean’s fingers so hard all the colour drained out, but Dean didn’t care. Castiel was preparing for one last push and he was going to give it everything he had.

“Almost, one more.” The doctor reassured, gesturing for Dean to come stand by his side and get ready to hold his baby. Castiel let out a piercing cry when he forced himself open. There was a blissful moment of relief when all the pressure suddenly stopped and something wet and sticky slipped out of him with one last cramp that spread all the way up into his back. Castiel collapsed against the pillows with a sigh and looked down between his thighs. Dean was just staring in awe at the tiny, messy pup that slid into his waiting hands. It didn’t make a sound when he was guided to cut the cord by the nurse at his side. She quickly swept the little one away and wrapped it up in a warm towel. Dean held his breath and waited. A huge smile spread across his face when he heard a little cough and a cry that cut through the powerful silence like sunrise on a dark day.

“Cas.” Dean breathed. He brushed away many tears of happiness that were pouring down both cheeks. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Congratulations. It’s a girl.” The nurse smiled at him while she tried to pass the baby to Dean, but he looked like he was almost scared of holding her. Dean carefully took the tiny bundle into trembling hands and held her like she was made of glass. Her head had a soft covering of golden down, and she had the most beautiful big green eyes Dean had ever seen. They were framed by long dark lashes, sparkling up at him like two shimmering emeralds. Across her shiny button nose was a smattering of sandy freckles. She squirmed in his arms, small pink mouth opening up into a whimper. She rubbed at her eyes with a tiny fist. Dean was completely enchanted, gazing at her little round face when it suddenly screwed up into a tight mess. She let out a pitiful yelp to let them know she was hungry.

“Hey, shh... it’s okay, sweetheart. Daddy’s here.” Dean gently pushed his thumb inside her little curled up fist. She instinctively gripped tight and tried to pull it into her mouth. Castiel smiled. She had managed to completely wrap Dean around her finger when she was less than a minute old. He gently bounced her in the crook of his arm and held his pup close to his chest when he bent forward to kiss Castiel’s flushed cheek in gratitude for such a precious gift. “I got you, baby girl. I got you.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

They arrived home the next day to find Sam and Gabriel already waiting outside to meet them.

“Oh God, she’s absolutely gorgeous.” Sam gasped, when he peeled back the little pink blanket from her face and gently wiggled her nose. “Not sure how, considering she looks exactly like you.” He laughed. Sam thought all babies were born with blue eyes, but he knew from the second he looked down at her, there was something very special there. Dean tutted, and elbowed him in the side. Sam could see the love in his brother’s tender expression when he tucked her back in and stroked her rosy cheek with the pad of his thumb. Dean carefully passed his daughter over to Castiel, gently placing her in his arms.

“Be a good girl.” He whispered, giving each of them an affectionate kiss on the cheek. Gabriel was just gazing at her.

“Well, I never thought I’d say this, but congratulations, Dean. She’s beautiful.”

“Thanks.” Dean gave him a wide smile, his whole body flushed with macho pride. Gabriel turned to help Castiel into the house, watching Sam closely while he walked away. There was something very intimate about the way they smiled at each other. Dean took the opportunity to pull at Sam’s collar so he could look underneath his shirt. “He hasn’t claimed you yet, then?”

“Dean.” Sam gasped. His eyes flicked up in shock. That was the last thing he expected to come out his brother’s mouth, but there was no point in denying how much he wanted it. “I’m working on it.” Sam said with a smile, waving back over his shoulder to where Gabriel was still admiring the little pup wriggling around in Castiel’s arms.

“But he treats you good though, right? That’s all that matters.”

“He sure does. Well, as good as you do Cas.”

“Well then, you’re a very lucky man.” Dean smiled again, nudging Sam with his shoulder. If someone had asked him five years ago if anyone deserved to be this happy, he probably would have drop-kicked them.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean worked all afternoon on setting up the nursery. Castiel couldn’t bear to be parted from the baby for a second, so Dean brought in the wicker bassinet and carefully set it down.

“You know, we still don’t have a name for her.” Castiel said softly, when he laid her gently in the crib. He really wanted Dean to pick it.

“There is something I like.” Dean said shyly, moving to the edge of the bed. He pulled Castiel into his lap so they were facing each other, and wrapped his arms possessively around his shoulders. Castiel didn’t say anything. He just wanted to cherish that deep alpha growl that was vibrating against his mouth, taking a precious moment of time alone together to stare into Dean’s eyes again. He missed it so much. “It’s what I think of when I look at you.” Dean stammered nervously. Castiel was watching the movement of his lips around every single word. “Grace.”

“Grace.” Castiel mouthed. He let Dean move his arms down to rest on the small of his back. “I like that, Dean.”

“Awesome.” Dean grinned. It seemed to fit her perfectly, and Castiel was glad they finally had something to call their daughter other than pup. “What you say we rope Sam into babysitting and go make another one?”

“Maybe later.” Castiel laughed. 

“I … er. I also wanted to say something to you.” Dean faltered, cheeks suddenly flaring pink when he looked down at Castiel’s finger. His hands were still resting on Dean’s chest. “I didn’t just give you that ring because it looks good on you. I want us to get married, Cas. Like really.”

“Dean.” Castiel breathed out. “I want that too, but I don’t want you to think you owe me anything.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Dean arched forward to kiss him on the lips and slipped his hands even lower. “You gave me my little princess. How could I ever repay you for something like that?" Castiel murmured an answer when he leaned in again and let Dean push his tongue deep inside his mouth while he caressed him.

“You already have.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel was jerked straight into auto-pilot mode as soon as he heard the baby start to whimper in the middle of the night. His eyes were still closed when he got up and reached into the crib. He brought her back to bed so he could feed her. Dean stirred when he felt Castiel shuffle around next to him, wearily rubbing at his eyes in the dark. He gently rolled over so he could snuggle up to his mate. Castiel still thought the pup was very small, even for a newborn. She was quite unsettled since they returned home, and seemed to be constantly hungry. She already started to stimulate him to produce some milk, but it never seemed to be enough for her to be able to suckle properly. Dean mumbled sleepily by his side.

“Cas? Sure you’re okay, babe?” He knew how much Castiel was still struggling to fill her up on his own. “Want me to get a bottle?” Dean yawned.

“It's alright, I can keep trying.” Castiel whispered quietly in the darkness. He sounded exhausted. 

“Let me have her.” Dean said, sitting up and leaning over to reach for his daughter, but Castiel seemed reluctant to admit defeat so easily. “Cas, it’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“But I want to, Dean. I’m supposed to be able to do that for her.”

“Listen.” Dean said firmly. He pushed himself up against the pillows and stroked the soft hair on top of her head. He was now fully awake and wanted to make sure Castiel understood it wasn’t all his responsibility just because he was the one she came out of. “I never expected this to happen when I fell for you, and honestly I’m still amazed this was even possible… but we made her together, and we’re gonna take care of her together, okay?” Castiel nodded slowly. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe someone like Dean could ever love him so much. “You did the hard bit.” Dean laughed, reaching over again to take Grace in his arms. “Besides, I want to do it. I could stare at her for hours, Cas. She’s so beautiful.” Castiel finally relented. He felt his eyes slide closed again to the gentle sound of Dean hushing her while he got out of bed and went to fetch a bottle.

 Α ✫ Ω 

When Castiel finally woke up, it was late morning and Dean wasn’t there. He peeked over into the bassinet. It was empty, and he could hear a muted conversation filtering up from downstairs. He heard Sam’s voice first when he reached the bottom of the steps.

“That’s probably why she’s so tiny. I don’t think you should be as concerned as you are, though. Why didn’t you say anything to Cas?”

“I didn’t wanna worry him.”

Castiel wasn’t the only one who was scared she had been too early. Sam saw his shadow cross behind the door and quickly put one hand up to stop Dean from saying anything else.

“Hey, Cas.” Sam said loudly. Dean’s eyes flicked up. He gave Castiel an apologetic smile and patted the seat next to him. Grace was asleep in his arms. She had one hand wrapped around Dean’s thumb. The other was wedged in her mouth.

“C’mere, sweetheart.” Dean smiled, but Castiel just looked at him doubtfully when he moved to join them on the couch. “I wanted you to sleep a little while longer.” Castiel was still too tired to humour condescending bullshit and was surprisingly put out that Dean hadn’t been more honest with him about his own concerns for their baby. Dean slipped one arm around Castiel’s waist when he finally sat down between them, and pulled him into a hug.

“Do you really think there might be something wrong with her?” Castiel asked in a whisper. He felt Dean’s fingers twitch against his side.

“No, Cas.” Sam calmed him with a smile. “I just think she was probably a bit early. Maybe four weeks, give or take. Not really surprising after everything you’ve been through lately.” Castiel gave him a thoughtful nod. He knew Sam spent a lot of his time up in the study and was always the best one to ask for information. “Honestly, I thought you might have been carrying a litter at first when you grew so fast, but now I think there’s a reason why you only had one. Gestation seems to be much shorter for omegas like you. Probably so you can have more pups.” Castiel flinched, and looked up at Sam in alarm. He had no desire to repeat that experience any time soon. “I don’t think you ever realized how special you are, Cas.”

“I’m not special, Sam.” Castiel replied modestly, turning his face away. “Just different.”

“You are to me.” Dean pulled him closer.

“I’m amazed they let you out of hospital so soon, though.” Sam continued aimlessly.

“I think they were more than happy to get rid of me." Castiel replied. "I don’t suppose it’s every day they get to see a male omega give birth.” 

Sam laughed quietly. 

“Well at least you know what to expect next time.” Dean and Castiel glanced uncertainly at each other.

“I’m not so sure I want to go through that again.” Dean didn’t say anything, but he was hoping Cas would give him lots of puppies. He loved the idea of making another baby one day, but he would never force Castiel into anything he didn’t want to do. He knew how hard it had been for him to deliver Grace, and must still be unbelievably tender from the birth. Castiel hid some of it from Dean, but he was still in a lot of pain. Grace suddenly fussed in Dean’s arms and slowly blinked her eyes open. Her little mouth trembled in response to the emptiness in her stomach, and Dean could see Castiel’s expression drop when he realized he was going to have to try and feed her again. He was already drained and sore.

“I got it.” Dean said quickly. He stood up and took her through to the kitchen to warm up another bottle. Castiel didn’t think it was possible to love that man any more.

 Α ✫ Ω 

The next few weeks passed in peaceful calm. Grace was latching on much better and Dean was happy to fill in the gaps with formula. The crushing weight he carried for so many years was finally lifted, and every minute spent with Castiel and their baby made him feel more complete than he ever thought possible. There was just one last thing he had his heart set on, and he wouldn’t let Castiel forget what he promised him. Dean pestered him relentlessly until they finally set a date. Grace was almost six weeks old.

Gabriel had graciously given himself permission to take charge of the whole affair, and Castiel had to keep reminding him they only wanted a simple ceremony. Dean would have been more than happy if it had only been the two of them, but Sam would never have forgiven him if he got left out, and he and Gabriel now seemed to come as a package deal. They went everywhere together, and Dean was still astounded he hadn’t claimed him already. It was only a matter of time.

A few days before the wedding, Gabriel dropped the unexpected bombshell he had written to Michael and told him everything. Castiel didn’t quite know how he was supposed to feel about that. He hadn’t seen him since he was a young boy and he had never been there for him in the way Gabriel had.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Castiel said anxiously. “I hardly remember him anyway and I don’t want him judging Dean the way you did.”

“Hey.” Gabriel said sharply. The memory of his blinkered mistrust was still a sore point. “He’s blood, and I had to let him know you have a child. I don’t understand why you’re so upset about it. There’s nothing he can do about the fact you and Dean are mated, and he’ll just have to accept it… like I did.” He added after a pause, glancing up at Sam. The same unspoken question was still lying heavily between them. Gabriel knew he might not be able to control those natural instincts if he ever let Sam back into his bed. They hadn’t mentioned that night for weeks, and Gabriel deliberately avoiding getting too close because he just couldn’t trust himself anymore.

Michael sent his apologies he wouldn’t be able to make it to the wedding, but he was going to try and come home to visit the month after. Gabriel strategically kept it to himself he also asked about their mother.

 Α ✫ Ω 

When the day finally arrived, Castiel dressed up their daughter in a satin gown and Dean put a circlet of delicate golden leaves around her head. He kissed her before reluctantly handing her over to Sam. He looked even more enormous than usual next to her. Sam petted her cheek, and whispered fluffy nonsense in her tiny ear while he carried her downstairs to wait for them. Castiel insisted they didn’t want anything but a simple exchange of vows, with Grace as their special little guest of honour.

Castiel was tutting and fidgeting with his collar while he watched Dean button up his shirt. Dean caught sight of his mate’s reflection in the mirror and felt a flood of sympathy at how much he suddenly reminded him of that frightened little omega he had fallen in love with. Dean turned to him and reached for both of Castiel’s hands. 

“You’ll do fine, stop fretting.” Dean encouraged, leaning in to brush their mouths together. “There’s nothing I want more in this world than to make you mine.” Castiel smiled back at him. Dean always seemed to know exactly what to say to make everything alright.

 Α ✫ Ω 

They stood facing each other in front of the fireplace. Castiel could feel a lump fluttering in his throat before they even finished the formal declarations and vows of contract. He felt Dean squeeze his fingers when he saw him start to well up. Castiel managed to hold it in until it came to the exchanging of the rings, sealing the promises they were going to make to each other. Dean had asked Gabriel to find him a plain band that was almost identical to the one he'd already given him, and Castiel had done the same for Dean. Gabriel apparently suffered a moment of romantic aberration and had their names and the date carved inside each one.

Sam was holding the pup in one arm when he brought forward both of the silver bands on a tiny satin cushion that was almost exactly the same colour as her dress. Castiel burst into tears when he saw Grace had her little fingers curled tightly around one corner. Sam read from the card Gabriel wrote just for him.

“These rings form an unbroken circle, symbolizing unending and everlasting love. They are the signs of the lifelong promise you have made to each other.”

He presented them to Dean, and had to gently prise Grace’s fingers from the edge. She pouted at him, so Castiel quickly gave her a wide smile before they backed away. Dean and Castiel repeated the same vow in turn when they placed their bands.

“I give you this ring as a symbol of our love. All that I am, I give to you. All that I have, I share with you. I promise to love you. I promise to be faithful and loyal to you, in good times and in bad. May this ring remind you always of the promise I have made to you today.”

Castiel was practically knocked over when Dean kissed him with so much passion he was almost bent completely backwards, gasping in a huge amount of air when Dean finally let him take a breath. Gabriel congratulated them when he shook Dean’s hand. He really wanted to do so much more for them, and couldn’t resist making some comment about the fact their wedding photos comprised of a stack of polaroids, but neither of them cared. Sam made them pose for one last picture with Grace before she got covered in cake. Castiel planted a slushy kiss on the side of Dean’s face just as the shutter clicked.

He looked happier than Sam could ever remember. It warmed every corner of his heart to know his brother finally had everything he ever wanted. Dean had waited so long for that one moment in the sun.

 

[ ](http://s1351.photobucket.com/user/lostangel68/media/WeddingDay_zps75483f87.jpg.html)

 

 Α ✫ Ω 

 


	57. Chapter 57

Gabriel approached them both after the ceremony and pointedly cleared his throat. He eventually managed to get Dean’s attention. Sam was standing close by his side as usual, with Grace propped up against his chest. She kept reaching out to try and grab handfuls of her smallest uncle.

“Thank you for everything, Gabe.” Castiel smiled at him, holding out his arms to take the baby from Sam before she managed to secure her little fist in Gabriel’s hair. “What is it? What's the matter?" Castiel asked suddenly. It looked like he wanted to say something important.

“I thought maybe now you’re married and you have this little monster.” He said, mercilessly tickling Grace on the stomach until she was in fits of giggles. “You probably want to move on but… I don’t really want you to go.” He was deadly serious, and now had three people staring at him in disbelief. “I want you to stay here and raise your family.” Gabriel added. Any last shred of groundless skepticism Dean had only ever been after one thing was gone forever. He knew Dean would always take care of his brother, and the implications of hiding a fugitive were no longer any threat. 

“You want us to live here, with you?” Dean echoed in astonishment. He heard Castiel make a soft gasp by his side. It was the last thing any of them ever expected him to say.

“I know it sounds insane, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I really want Grace to grow up here.” Gabriel mumbled awkwardly. Wearing his heart on his sleeve was more uncomfortable than anticipated, but it was almost worth it to witness the look on Dean’s face. “I spent the greater part of my life being a total ass.” Gabriel glanced up and shook his head. He didn’t want Castiel to even try and defend him. “I think I would like to help educate people about what it’s really like to be stuck in a world that doesn’t understand you at all.” Dean’s mouth had dropped open. Gabriel gave his niece an affectionate smile. “Whatever she presents as, I want to help bring her up to accept who she is and not be afraid like Castiel was. I don’t want her to make the same mistakes I did.”

“Gabriel.” Castiel murmured tearfully. It had been one of the best days of his life and now he couldn’t stop the emotion from catching in his throat again. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Just promise me you’ll think about it.” Gabriel touched his arm gently before walking away. Sam grinned, throwing him a heartfelt comment when he passed him by.

“A big bad alpha like you wanting to spread the love, who knew.”

“Shut up.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

The rest of the evening was absolutely perfect, and Castiel thanked everyone a hundred times over before he disappeared upstairs to set Grace down in the crib for a nap. Dean found him two hours later crashed out on the bed, fast asleep. He gave his new husband a soft smile and covered him with the sheet before lying down next to him. Dean held his hand and stroked his thumb across the two bands that rested perfectly side by side on his finger, just watching his chest rise and fall in peace. Their wedding night would have to wait.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Sam and Gabriel cleared up the mess together after everyone left. They exchanged a few furtive glances while they moved around the kitchen.

“You okay? Happy?” Gabriel asked eventually.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Sam answered, putting yet another clean plate on the drainer and shaking the suds from his hands. “They had a real nice day.”

“I didn’t mean are you happy for Dean and Castiel.” Gabriel said quietly. “I wanted to know if _you_ were happy.”

“Like I said, I’m good.” Sam answered, a little too quickly. Gabriel suddenly reached out and wrapped his fingers tightly around Sam’s wrist to hold him fast. His eyes shot up and they seemed to stare at each other for longer than they should. Sam had clearly downed one too many glasses of expensive champagne. He managed to keep his hands to himself for most of the day, but Gabriel looked a little bit too delicious in that designer suit, and the burn of desire in his eyes when he gazed back was more intense than Sam had ever seen on him. He suddenly wanted to kiss him. “Maybe we could bunk up tonight and have a talk?”

“Okay.” Gabriel answered slowly, not anticipating having the rest of that particular conversation on his brother’s wedding day, but he presumed they were both on the same page. He fished for a better explanation, just in case. “What would you like to talk about, exactly?”

“Maybe about all that _alpha crap_  you seem so determined to dismiss.” Sam reminded him. Gabriel forced a smile, but that made him feel sick. It was his own weakness he doubted, not Sam’s affection. Gabriel knew if they made love again, he didn’t think he would be strong enough to take out his sexual frustration on the pillow this time.

“I want to, Sam. I really do.” He edged a little closer. “But I’ve spent so much of my life hating everything I am and I always fail everyone, sooner or later. Castiel, my mother.” Gabriel hesitated, and ran his tongue between his lips. “I don’t want to fail you, too.”

“Me?” Sam asked in surprise. “Why would you think that?” Gabriel hung his head and made a little noise in the back of his throat.

“Because you want something from me I’m not sure I have to give.” He whispered. Sam didn't know what to say. Persuading Gabriel to bite him was something he never expected to have to fight so hard for.

“I thought maybe you were thinking about something else. Seeing Dean and Cas together today, having a family.” Sam said, in a low voice. Gabriel didn’t seem to make the relevant connections in his head before Sam cleared up the confusion. “You know I can never give you children, if that’s what you want.”

Gabriel suddenly laughed and shook his head.

“That’s not it. Besides, I think we’ll have more than enough on with my brother. You’ve only got to see the look in Dean’s eyes when he holds that baby. There’s no way those two will stop at one pup.” Sam was quiet for a few seconds. Gabriel could see him trying to come up with something tactfully honest that was probably going to end up sounding suspiciously like an ultimatum. 

“Then what is it, Gabe? You told me you just needed some time, and I get that.” Sam sighed. “But I’m not going to let myself fall in love with you, if it’s never going to be returned.” Gabriel didn't get a chance to answer. Sam left him standing in the kitchen alone, and Gabriel hated watching him go. He knew how much he meant it by the determination in those hazel eyes he wanted to throw himself in. Gabriel was going to lose him if he didn't act soon. He would never forgive himself for letting someone like that walk out of his life. He needed to let go of all that meaningless pride and take Sam as his mate before he lost him for good. Principles be damned. Gabriel finally gave in to the impulsive longing and chased Sam down the hall like a scolded puppy.

“Wait. Sam… just wait a minute.” Gabriel pleaded breathlessly, when he finally caught up.

Sam turned slowly, his expression almost completely blank while he waited patiently for Gabriel to try and justify why he should give him any more of his time if he was just leading him on. A spiteful little voice in the back of Sam's head kept telling him maybe Gabriel just didn’t know how to let him down gently. He never expected an unmated alpha to be so reluctant to claim a submissive partner. He just didn't get it, and Sam couldn’t pretend it was even close to okay anymore.

“What?”

“Damn it, Sam.” Gabriel paused. “It’s not that I don’t _want_ to return it.” Sam gave him another grunt of disapproval, but Gabriel reached out to grab him again. “You drive me crazy. You have no idea how hard it is for me to keep my hands off you.” He blurted out. “But you… you deserve better.”

“Better?” Sam echoed. Gabriel bit the inside of his cheek.

“Better than me.”

“Gabriel.” Sam wanted to shake him. “Is that what all this is about?” That was all it was about. All it had _ever_  been about. Sam Winchester was perfection. He was handsome, intelligent and fiercely loyal. In his own mind, Gabriel was a flawed joke of an alpha who abandoned his brother as a child and wouldn’t know how to show romantic love to someone if Hell had him. “Don’t presume to tell me what I want.” Sam added coldly. “I’m not Castiel.”

That hurt. A harsh reminder of what Gabriel used to be, but Sam was hoping it might spark some kind of reaction. He remembered the burning passion Gabriel had when he vented so much concern over the threat of his brother being claimed by Dean. Sam wanted him to do something, say _something_. He would have done anything to see that fire in him again. It was a cheap shot, and for a second Sam thought he might retaliate, but he just looked away again. Sam had a point.

“I know, I’m sorry.” Gabriel tried. Sam ran his eyes slowly up and down the tempting alpha body. Gabriel released Sam's arm. “You would think I should have learned something from that but… well. I really don’t mean to be so dense, Sam. It’s just been a lonely road sometimes.” Sam suddenly felt a swell of sympathy. It didn’t seem to matter how much forced composure Gabriel had, there was just something about him that made Sam want to wrap him up in one of his enormous hugs and squeeze the life out of him. He reached forward and slipped both hands inside Gabriel’s jacket.

“Take it off.” Sam commanded. Gabriel’s eyebrows shot up. He obeyed at once, quickly shrugging off his suit jacket and slinging it over the end of the stair rail. Sam took a hesitant step towards him and pulled their bodies together. Sam pushed his hips forward, already hard when he pressed against him. Sam watched Gabriel’s tongue carefully flick out between his teeth and moisten his bottom lip. Sam dipped his head and gently sucked on it. “Do you want to take this somewhere else?” He said quietly. Gabriel’s eyes had been locked with Sam’s since he pulled away. The stirring of want coursing through him with the insistent pulse of Sam’s arousal against his own had taken all his breath away. He just nodded like an idiot. Sam took Gabriel by the hand, and tugged him up the stairs behind him. They tumbled gracelessly into his bedroom and Sam nudged the door shut when Gabriel shoved him back with a grunt and dragged him into a suffocating kiss. He was pulling at Sam’s belt with skillful fingers while he untucked his shirt. 

“Sam... I won’t be able to stop myself if we go any further.” Gabriel panted into Sam’s mouth. He quickly unthreaded the belt and threw it on the floor. Sam slipped one hand around the back of Gabriel’s neck and held him fixed in the kiss. He pushed his tongue between his lips and murmured a curse that vibrated in Gabriel’s mouth before he managed to reply.

“Why would I want you to stop?”

That was all Gabriel needed to give himself over to the nature of what he really was. He found the strength from somewhere to push Sam up against the door so hard his knees were bent up into Gabriel’s chest. He let out a possessive growl, tossing Sam on top of the bed like a chew toy and clambering on top of him. Sam hadn't expected such bloodthirsty dominance to take over so suddenly after he asked Gabriel to take him. There was something unmistakably feral about the shine in those piercing eyes that held him fast in the darkness. Gabriel was now in full alpha mode, nipping at Sam’s throat while he fumbled to undo his pants. Sam didn’t think he would have been able to stop him now if he tried, so he lay back in a typically obedient posture and let Gabriel undress him. He roughly pushed Sam's knees apart, getting him completely naked in less than a minute. Gabriel was tearing at his own clothes that now seemed to be more of an inconvenience than anything else. They were soon in a pile next to the bed.

Gabriel mumbled Sam’s name against his skin when he reached down and encouraged him to spread his legs wider so he could nestle his hips between both thighs. Sam’s breath gave a dry hitch when an unexpected and brutal jab of searching fingers started to open him up in preparation for what Gabriel was about to do to him. Sam still had his eyes closed. The beautiful memory of their previous sexual encounter suddenly came rushing back to him.

“Do you want me to turn over?” Gabriel had fucked him hard from behind last time, but this was different. He desperately wanted to watch Sam’s jaw drop open with pleasure when he came on his knot.

“Actually… I think the idea of topping you from the bottom is almost too good to resist.”

“Gabriel.” Sam stammered in surprise, eyes flicking open again. “I never imagined something that dirty would ever come out of your mouth.”

“Oh, you’d be amazed what I can do with my mouth, Winchester.”

Sam heard himself moan in response while Gabriel traced his lips down the length of his chest and past his stomach. He instinctively pushed his fingers into Gabriel’s hair when he felt the end of his dick sink into a warm mouth, so beautifully pliant around him. Gabriel sucked hungrily on it until Sam was begging his alpha to fuck him. He was already on the brink of an orgasm when he was pulled up by the shoulders and grappled into position. Gabriel held him down on his rigid erection and rutted underneath him. He forced his legs wide to curve over his thrusting hips and wrapped his ankles over Sam’s to hold him still. Sam leaned forward, making little circles with his ass until he felt the tip of Gabriel’s cock prodding impatiently at him. He entered a little too eagerly, and felt Sam’s body tense on top of him with the burn of that first stretch. Gabriel dug his fingertips into the skin at Sam’s sides and pulled him mercilessly all the way down to the base. Sam cried out while their hips rubbed together. He felt so full he could hardly breathe. Each relentless intrusion was like a punch inside him, but he soon gave himself over to the indescribable thrill of being dominated. Gabriel was grunting and sweating with every thrust until he was right on the edge of popping a knot. His eyes glazed over when he stared at the curve of Sam’s shoulder. Sam could feel Gabriel growing and stretching inside him when his dick began to swell, still fighting every natural instinct to claim. Sam was panting with desperation.

“Do it.” He gasped. Gabriel’s top lip trembled where it was pulled back over the points of his teeth, gazing lustfully at the glistening skin of Sam’s throat. He pushed himself up and licked a damp stripe along the arc of Sam’s neck and all the way up to the dip of his jaw where it curved underneath his ear. He tasted like pure honey. Sam saw those wet lips curl back with a twitch of desire. His mouth opened a little wider. “Gabe… do it.” Gabriel was struggling for air when he let the animal in him take over. He reached up to grab a handful of Sam’s hair and jerked his head to one side. It left a patch of unbroken skin open and ready for him to taste for the first time.

“You better not regret this in the morning.” Gabriel growled, and pulled Sam down onto his waiting mouth.

Sam leaned into it, helpless when he felt himself come hard all over Gabriel’s stomach, the pain of two jagged incisors piercing his neck. Gabriel clamped his mouth around the wounds, latching on to his mate to suck at the deep cuts until the blood flowed across his tongue and down his throat. Sam finally collapsed on top of him with exhaustion and sated release. Gabriel wrapped his arms protectively around Sam’s back and held him down on his knot while he emptied into him and fastened them together. They stayed like that for a very long time.

 Α ✫ Ω 


	58. Chapter 58

Dean was woken up early by his own little alarm clock when she decided it was time for her breakfast. He left the pup snuggled next to Castiel and wandered downstairs in his boxers. His robe was hanging off one shoulder like he only put it on as an afterthought in case he bumped into Gabriel and scarred him for life. His bare feet padded across the kitchen floor.

“Hello.” Sam said brightly, smiling at Dean when he gave him a little wave. Gabriel was sitting opposite him, slowly sucking the syrup from his pancakes while he stared back. Sam’s eyes were shining.

“You two seem disgustingly happy this morning.” Dean offered, with a wide yawn. He looked between Gabriel and his brother before grabbing a fresh bottle of formula from the refrigerator. He started to heat it up while he ran one hand through messy hair. Sam blew a stream of air across the top of his coffee cup, watching Gabriel’s mouth intently while he chewed on his food. Dean saw him flinch when he walked past and patted him heartily on the shoulder. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing… why?” Sam tried, but Dean wasn’t that stupid. Even half-asleep he saw through that bull crap in an instant. He leaned over Sam with a curious look on his face, his eyebrows drawn tightly together. When he looked a little harder, he saw his brother was holding an ice pack folded against his neck. 

“Nothing, my ass.”

“Not one word, Dean. I mean it.” Sam said in a whisper, cheeks slowly turning pink. Whatever torrent had finally been unleashed in Gabriel the night before had turned him into the aggressively dominant alpha he kept locked away for decades. Sam was covered in light scratches and marks from the playful nips Gabriel painted him with before he finally bit him.

“Maybe I did get a bit carried away... sorry.” Gabriel winked at him across the table, and Sam blushed even more at the memory. Castiel suddenly appeared in the doorway with the pup wedged under one arm. She yelped and wiggled her little fingers out towards Dean as soon as she saw him. He went straight over to Castiel and gently eased her into a cuddle before he moved back behind Sam and gestured wildly at the side of his neck to let Castiel know Gabriel had finally claimed him. Castiel’s mouth opened up into a silent circle of surprise.

“You think?” Sam gave his mate a coy smile and then looked away. “I’m just a bit sore.” Dean jerked his head back. If that wasn’t an opening for him to make a snarky comment, then nothing was, but Castiel silenced him with a glare.

“You weren’t complaining last night.”

“Gabriel!” Castiel cried, quickly reaching forward to cover Grace’s ears with his hands. Dean laughed while he bounced his baby girl in his arms.

“Honey, I don’t think we need to protect her from the sordid details of their mating rituals just yet. What are you gonna tell her when she asks you how she was made?” Dean added. Castiel thought about it for a second before pushing himself up on the ends of his toes to place a gentle kiss on Dean’s cheek.

“I’ll tell her to ask you.”

Dean nodded with a smile.

“Touché.” He teased the warm bottle against Grace’s mouth and she quickly opened up and started to suckle noisily on it. “At least someone got some on my wedding night.” Gabriel and Sam exchanged an awkward glance when it was Castiel’s turn to colour up. He couldn’t seem to apologize enough for falling asleep with the baby when he really should have let Dean knot him and consummate their marriage. Castiel looked sad when he passed the pup back to him, so Dean forced a smile and pretended it didn’t matter in the slightest. “It’s fine.” He dismissed it, but the lecherous way he was looking Castiel up and down suggested that was a complete lie. Gabriel’s senses must have still been on red alert, because he pushed his plate aside and stood up. He walked over to Sam and subtly tapped him on the arm.

“Well, we do have a couple of errands to run, don’t we? We could take Grace with us if you like. She could probably do with a bit of fresh air.” Gabriel said thoughtfully, encouraging Sam to blindly agree to anything he said. Sam was quick on the uptake, and they offered to take Grace into town to give the happy couple some time alone to let them celebrate the fact they were now legally bonded as well, but Castiel wasn't sure. He had never been away from the pup before. Dean jumped forward and reached for her little jacket before Castiel could protest. He threw it at Gabriel and started loading up the travel bag like a man possessed. Sam was gaping at him while Dean hurriedly stuffed another bottle and a packet of baby wipes into one of the side pockets. Castiel blushed again and rubbed one hand across the back of his neck.

“Dean.”

“It’s cool. I totally think she should spend some quality time with her two favourite uncles. Here you go.” He insisted, shoving everything so hard against Sam’s chest, he only just managed to stop it all from dropping through his arms. Gabriel gestured for Castiel to hand the baby over and gently attempted to guide her arms into her coat sleeves with a knowing smile.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Grace had fallen asleep again by the time they reached their destination and Sam took the opportunity to make what he anticipated would be his final call to Jess. He wanted to tell her everyone was okay and to ask for news on Crowley’s sentencing. The hearing had been postponed again, but Jess said even though he might be out one day, they probably wouldn’t need to worry about him for a long time. His heart was racing when he told her about his bond with Gabriel, but she just congratulated him. She was happy with Wade, and Sam was genuinely glad for her. Sam thanked her again for everything she'd done to help their family and wished her well. It was the closure he needed to be able to give Gabriel every last part of his heart. No one was more surprised than him how much he wanted to be mated to an alpha, and he was going to do everything he could to try and keep him content. Sam knew exactly how to wind Gabriel round his little finger but it was so much more than that. He was warmth, and safety, and the promise of a happy life. Sam ended the call with a smile.

Gabriel had been thinking hard about the possibility of them all staying together while Sam was on the phone. It was even more important to him now he was mated to his brother, and he pressed Dean again for an answer as soon as they got home. Gabriel made another heartfelt request they all move in permanently.

“I don’t know, Gabriel.” Dean replied uncertainly. Sam was now his mate by right and the last thing Dean wanted to do was outstay his welcome. Castiel looked up at Dean expectantly. He had so much hope in his eyes with the thought Dean might agree to stay. It was a beautiful home, and the gardens were perfect for Grace to run around in once she started walking. The house had always been a part of Castiel, whether he realized it or not. Dean could never resist when he looked at him like that anyway, especially after the passionate sex they just shared while they had the place to themselves. “Alright.” Dean said at last, and Castiel threw his arms around his mate's neck and covered his face with grateful kisses. “But.” Dean added firmly. “I really do want to make something just for us, Cas.” Dean dropped his hands and cradled his husband with a tenderness that just seemed to pour out of him. Sometimes when Dean held him like that, Castiel wondered if there was actually anyone else in the world at all. Dean bent his head to whisper something in Castiel’s ear. “I don’t want to live off your brother forever.” Dean was an alpha with a family to support and he was too proud to accept Gabriel’s charity without a few conditions. “I’m okay to stay for a while, if you agree to come with me when I finish building us a home. We’ll have our own place one day, baby. I promise. Deal?”

Castiel nodded. He closed his eyes and leaned into Dean just so he could breathe him in.

“Deal.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Michael arrived the following week. He managed to secure a few days leave and Gabriel thought it said a lot that he made his return home a priority. Castiel imagined he might actually throw up when he saw the cab pull up outside. He had no idea what to expect. Gabriel was the only one who had seen him at all in the last twenty years and had said so little about him. Dean slipped his arm around his husband’s shoulders and indulged him with a cuddle when Gabriel opened the front door to let him in. Michael had a certain enigmatic beauty that reminded Dean of Castiel. There was just something about him that put all his senses at ease when he approached.

“So, this is the alpha who stole my baby brother’s heart.” Michael smiled. Dean just nodded and took Michael’s hand. He wasn’t often lost for words, but everything he had imagined about this man was cast away in that one single moment. Michael had apparently changed for the better since he got away and made a life for himself. “You look well, Castiel.” Michael said warmly. He took the pup from his arms without any hesitation.

“Thank you. Michael... the baby.” Castiel fretted, instinctively reaching out to take her back. He didn’t want her to be upset.

“Hush up, Castiel. She’s fine.” Michael tutted, and Grace just snuggled up to him. She clutched one tiny fist into the folds of his shirt. Michael gently kissed the top of her head and calmed her with affectionate strokes up and down her back. Castiel managed to relax a little when he saw Grace happily rubbing her cheek against Michael’s chest like she had known him all her life. Gabriel asked if he passed on the news to the rest of the family. He didn’t mention her by name, but Michael knew exactly who he meant. “I won’t lie, Castiel. Mother had her reasons for going, and staying gone. I know there's still a lot of guilt there. For all of us, and not just because she suspected you were an omega.” Castiel bowed his head. He felt like he was fifteen again. “She never forgot about you.” Michael added gently, cautiously touching his arm. “She really wants to see you… and the pup.” Castiel was very quiet for some time after Michael dropped that on him as soon as he made it past the front door. He had no idea what to say, and absently distracted himself by twirling one of the silver rings that now adorned his finger. Michael hitched Grace up a bit and carefully smoothed down her little dress. He nodded at the shining band. “Gabriel told me you had that. It looks well on you.”

Castiel whispered another quiet _thank you_ , and quickly dropped both hands behind his back. His brother was making him feel all sorts of emotions he thought he buried years ago. There was a familiar way about him, but Castiel also imagined there was something else behind his eyes when he looked at him like that.

_Judgement._

“Did you tell my mother I had it?” Castiel asked hesitantly. Grace started pawing at Michael’s face and drew his attention away from Castiel for a second, but he managed to return a nod. Michael pretended to try and bite her fingers where they were digging into the flesh of his cheek.

“I did.” He murmured. “I think she was touched you actually wanted it.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Castiel suddenly felt unnaturally defensive. His plump lips were set in a firm line and Dean tensed at his side. He could scent a slight change to him, uncomfortably close to all the fear he used to smell on him before they mated. Michael knew it was a lot for his little brother to take in. Gabriel had only recently filled him in on how hard Dean had worked to drag Castiel out of the dark place he once lived in. 

“Castiel, I’m not trying to upset you. The only reason she didn’t come back with me now is because she wasn’t sure you would want to see her again. I told you how guilty she feels about leaving you out there alone.”

“I wasn’t alone.” Castiel replied defiantly. “Gabriel always watched out for me.” Michael’s expression changed, but he managed to hide the hurt pretty well. Only Castiel noticed how his pale eyes flickered with shame. Gabriel stared at Castiel. He never acknowledged that so openly before.

“I know he did.” Michael’s voice was softer now, almost apologetic. “I’m sorry if you feel like I wasn’t there for you like he was. For a long time, everyone thought you were dead.” His voice started to break with emotion and Castiel couldn’t look at him. “Part of the reason I never came back here was because I couldn’t stand to be in this house after you disappeared. It was a much lonelier place without your smile.” Castiel couldn’t reply through the sob that silenced him when Michael said something so beautiful. It wasn’t like there was anything he could really say anyway that would ever erase so much regret.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Michael spent the best part of an hour reacquainting himself with every corner of the old house with Gabriel in tow. He never told him in so many words, but he always respected Michael for having the sense to get away before he had been forever damaged by impulsive dominance displays and their father’s many excesses. Gabriel wondered aimlessly if it might have been jealousy. He was pulled away from his thoughts by a loud cry at his side. Grace was hungry again and yapping for attention.

Castiel was ready to head back upstairs as soon as he heard her whimper. He reached out again to take the baby and Michael reluctantly handed her over for a feed. Grace really seemed to have taken to him. He was very like Castiel, and she was a sensitive pup. Her acceptance of his brother was enough for Castiel to at least give him a chance to redeem himself. He already suspected she would one day present as an alpha like Dean, and that filled him with both pride and fear for her future. Castiel knew how lucky he had been to find such a special mate, but that didn’t mean she would. He brushed his concerns aside for now. There were many years ahead of them all before she would have to make a choice like that.

Castiel didn’t look so well while he cuddled the pup to his chest and eased past Gabriel to take her up into their bedroom to give them some privacy. He wasn’t quite sure how Michael would react to him suckling the baby in front of him, and watched him follow Gabriel out of the hallway so they could grab a bite of lunch and catch up properly. Dean was still pacing restlessly around the kitchen. The feeling of worthlessness that had haunted him all his life had almost crumbled away to dust by the love Castiel had given him, but a wound that deep would take much longer to heal completely. Dean couldn't explain why, but he was desperate for Michael’s approval.

Castiel settled Grace in the crib after he filled her little tummy with his milk and headed downstairs to join the others. He suddenly felt very faint and had to hold onto the hand rail all the way to the bottom step to stop himself from falling. There was a fire smouldering just underneath his skin and he'd felt strangely detached all morning. Castiel could hear them all talking in the kitchen and quickly took in a couple of deep breaths to calm his pulse while he felt along the wall with his fingers. Something was definitely off. He supported himself on the door, trying to hide his distress when he reached for the edge of the table to steady himself again. His cheeks were warm with colour. He hurriedly took a seat close to Dean in the hope nobody had noticed him stumble. He leaned back and propped himself against his mate’s chest. Dean wrapped both arms around Castiel’s waist and affectionately nosed at his neck. His scent was different again. At first Dean thought it might have been due to his anxiety over Michael’s arrival, but there was another essence underneath that was as sweet as nectar. It stirred a precious memory in Dean that made him want to smother Castiel with his mouth.

“Cas?” Dean whispered against his cheek when he held him tight. “You alright?” He could feel Castiel nod against him but that wasn’t quite true, and Dean knew it. He had made it his personal mission to really understand Castiel, and knew instinctively something had changed in him again. He seemed unusually distant and Dean could feel the heat from his body soaking into him. Castiel didn’t say anything else. He was trying hard to focus his attention on the conversation that was going on around him through the muffled haze in his ears. Sam was apparently in the middle of a discussion with Michael about pair-bonding and the true nature of Castiel’s status as a special type of omega. Michael had never heard of anything like it before. The whole debate had been sparked by him asking why a fiercely possessive alpha like Dean had waited so long to take a mate.

 Α ✫ Ω 


	59. Chapter 59

Sam briefly outlined everything that happened since Castiel had dropped effortlessly into their lives and turned Dean's world upside-down. Michael just nodded thoughtfully in the appropriate spaces. He eventually sat back in his seat when Sam finished his account with something unexpected.

“I think maybe your father suspected there was something different about Cas. His study is packed with rare books on the subject. I did some research with Gabe a while ago and we really had to dig around to find any information on it at all. That stuff isn’t exactly top shelf material.” Sam couldn’t understand why any of this was news to Michael. Gabriel and Dean had always been able to tell. “I would have thought it was obvious when he was younger. You must have been able to smell him when he hit puberty.” Michael gave Sam a curious glance. 

“What makes you think I’m an alpha?” The question was deliberate, his eyes twinkling with amusement. Sam shrugged awkwardly and shook his head, sending his long hair falling forward. He was actually grateful most of his face was now hidden from the intensity of Michael’s pale blue eyes. They were just as piercing as his little brother’s when he was trying to see inside you.

“I… I don’t know. I just presumed.”

“Everyone does.” Michael smiled. Sam shuffled around in his seat while he talked, his shirt now hanging loosely over one of his shoulders. Michael made a small hum at the back of his throat. “No, not me. Gabriel is my father’s son. I see he's also taken a mate.” He added, staring hard at the fading bruises on the curve of Sam’s neck. The top of Sam’s cheeks turned red. He wasn’t used to being studied, and he suddenly felt very exposed. He never had a label before. Gabriel didn’t seem too happy about it either. He never really remembered his father with fondness, and gave Michael a silent glare of contempt. Michael managed a small laugh, which only served to irritate Gabriel even more because it was clearly at his expense. He knew he was the only alpha son of course, but never thought to mention the specific dynamics of their family history to Sam. If he was honest, it made him ashamed. He had tried to leave that part of his past behind when he set his sights on taking Sam as a mate. He guessed being the only surviving alpha was why he always felt so responsible for the rest of the family, even though he wasn’t the oldest. Michael had a completely different perspective on life that had definitely not been passed down from their father. Michael chose to ignore the coldness in those amber eyes when they stared back at him. “I know what you’re thinking, but none of it really matters now.” Michael leaned forward to rest one hand on his brother’s shoulder. “He _was_ proud of you Gabriel, for all you doubted it.” Sam looked surprised. 

“But you’re definitely not an omega, so you must be - ”

“A beta, yes.” Michael clarified. “I don’t much care for all that hierarchical crap that seems to come with it. It was the most important thing in life to my father, and he treated my mother with such contemptible disrespect I can hardly stand to think about it. I suppose I was lucky in a way. Father didn’t fear for my safety like Castiel, or expect me to perpetuate his line.” He added, glancing at Gabriel again. Something else that would never happen now Gabriel had claimed another man.

“Did my mother know what I was, Michael?” Castiel interrupted. He was still leaning heavily on Dean, struggling to pretend it didn’t feel like his blood was boiling in his veins. “I need to know.” Michael gave him a sympathetic smile.

“Like I said.” He sighed. “She never forgot about you. I’ve always thought she suspected, but she never came right out with it.” Gabriel had also kept in contact with Michael by letter over the years, but they were nothing like the ones he sent to Castiel. There was a formality between them that was still obvious when they spoke to each other. “We eventually found out you were okay, but that was all. From time to time I pressed Gabriel for news of you and he would pass on little bits of information about your job and how you were doing. He never told me where you were, though. I suppose he was just protecting you.”

“Of course I was trying to protect him.” Gabriel snapped back. “Someone fucking had to.”

“Gabe.” Sam tried gently. Gabriel was still frowning.

“I always tried to do what I could for you, even if I did do a piss poor job of it.” Gabriel was breathing hard when he turned his attention back to Castiel. “I never once forgot to send your suppressants and those slick pads you hated. I just wanted to keep you safe.”

“I know, Gabriel.” Castiel answered softly. He didn’t really want reminding of such a dark chapter in his life, and he certainly had no desire for Michael to know how hard it had been for him since he left. He wondered why Gabriel never mentioned Dean to him until there was nothing he could have done to prevent their bonding. Maybe that was exactly why.

“I remember one time as a boy, I overheard him planning to send you away.” Michael continued. Castiel gasped in a shallow breath. Gabriel warned him about that, but he had no idea how close he came. “I never wanted anything more to do with that man after that day.” Michael said bitterly, his delicate features pulled tight. “I really think he knew, Castiel. I heard him say you would always be a target for unmated alphas. There were men who wanted you, even at that age. It might not have felt like it at the time, but I know now Gabriel did the best he could.” Michael paused for a moment. “You probably wouldn’t be here at all if he hadn’t smuggled you away all those years ago.” There was a profound silence. 

Gabriel had saved him.

“So long as you’re happy now.” Michael added sincerely. “That’s really the only thing that’s ever mattered.”

“I really am, Michael. More than I ever thought I could be.” Castiel replied, leaning into his mate’s side. Dean snuggled him back. Michael wanted to go and unpack, so he took one of the spare rooms and left them to finish their conversation in peace. Gabriel felt like an immense weight had been lifted. Both of them had accepted he did the right thing. He looked at Castiel.

“I appreciate what you said to Michael earlier.” It was the closest to an apology he ever managed to come up with, and Castiel didn’t hesitate to push himself up from Dean’s lap and give him a hug. There was so much more to the way he held Gabriel in that moment than any words could ever say. 

“I think I understand now. Thank you.”

Gabriel had tears in his eyes. Michael had helped to finally wash away every single trace of lifelong guilt, vindicating him of everything he had beaten himself up over since that one night in the rain. It felt like he could breathe freely again for the first time. Dean smiled. He never would have had Castiel if Gabriel hadn’t helped him to run away. Fate had always been determined to push them together, and there was nothing Dean wouldn’t have done right then to make it up to him.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel almost passed out cold when Michael told him he arranged for their mother to come home the next day. He only intended to stay a couple of days anyway, but now he knew Castiel wanted to be reunited with her, he promised to wait until she was ready to go back upstate with him.

She was just as hauntingly beautiful as Castiel remembered, and the years had been good to her. There was so much he wanted to say, but now all he really needed was to be close to her for a while and show her how happy he was with Dean. She fussed over the pup and gave them her blessing. Her first visit was a short one. She was still reluctant to come out into the world. Her mate was gone, but she never wanted to repeat that experience or risk being targeted by another alpha with one thing on his mind. Castiel knew how that went. He also spent many restless nights fearing for his own safety when he had been alone. Dean had chased his nightmares away, but he never once forgot how they made him feel. He didn’t want to forget. It made him all the more grateful he had someone to hold in the dark and share his bed at night. There was still so much pain and remorse in his mother, and the years of running and hiding after their father’s death had affected her in ways she couldn’t even try to explain. Castiel understood. Maybe they weren’t so different after all.

Before they left, his mother begged Castiel for forgiveness for abandoning him and the other boys to independence. She really wanted them all to stay together and care for each other in a way she never could. Castiel had to tell her how much Dean wanted them to have a little place of their own someday, and she just smiled at him, guessing his mate would likely change his mind about that before too long. It was the last thing she said to him before she kissed him warmly on the cheek, and stepped into the cab with Michael when it pulled up at the end of the driveway. Castiel watched it move away until the exhaust fumes drifted into nothingness and disappeared over the horizon. He was staring into the distance with the wind blowing at his hair when he felt a warm arm slip protectively over his shoulders. Dean bent his head and rubbed his nose against the side of Castiel’s throat. He couldn’t seem to pull away. He still smelled absolutely delicious and Dean felt a sudden violent stirring inside him when he breathed him in and pressed against his side. Castiel leaned in and wiped his eyes.

“You alright, sweetheart?” Dean asked, his voice deep and scratchy again.

“Dean, I’m scared to death.” Castiel said softly. He was shaking. It just made Dean want to pull him closer. “What if I never see her again? I want Grace to know her.”

“Then it’s her loss, Cas. But I really don’t think you need to worry about that. She’ll be back.”

Their mother had let them all know she wanted the boys to have the house, but Michael’s business often took him elsewhere, and Dean was really determined they should have their own home. Michael had tried to make up for all those lost years by helping them achieve every dream they had for their family, and even offered Dean a job to manage some of the business from that end. He encouraged Gabriel to take him on with a view to maybe becoming a partner one day. Dean never even graduated high school, but what he lacked in accomplishments, he more than made up for in life experience and hard graft. Gabriel never doubted him for a minute, and he knew how much Dean wanted to provide for his mate and their baby. Dean couldn’t thank them enough and Castiel was so proud of him.

Gabriel asked them to look for a little plot of land, and offered to pay for it as his belated wedding gift. He seemed to think they might need more space eventually and Dean knew exactly what he was implying.

“Well, I said you could have a home of your own, Cas, and I swore to myself a long time ago I would never make a promise to you I couldn’t keep.” Dean reckoned Castiel could be persuaded to have another baby eventually. They hadn’t exactly discussed it, but he had no doubt he would be willing to at least think about more pups as soon as Grace was sleeping through the night and the pain of childbirth was just a fading memory. Dean would have quite liked to get started on that right away. Castiel had been driving him mad for two days. His cheeks were still flushed, and he had practically left a scent trail through the house for Dean to follow. He took his mate out into the garden after dinner to cool down and impetuously pulled him onto the moist grass. Dean flopped over onto his back and dragged Castiel on top of him.

“Cas, I’m not gonna be able to keep my hands off you tonight when you smell like that.” Dean growled, jerking Castiel’s ass across his hips. He pressed his body up into the space between his thighs where they were spread apart. Castiel deliberately ground down on him, and Dean knew he was going to get lucky later. “If you want us to be careful, I can get Gabe to run me into town to get some… you know.” Dean blushed, looking down at the growing bump in his jeans with a subtle tip of his head. The last few days had been better therapy than any amount of money could buy and Castiel felt wonderful. He was so happy, hopelessly in love with a bond-mate who worshipped him. He bent forward, licking playfully at one of Dean’s cuspids where it was pressing into the skin of his lip. His alpha body was reacting more strongly than it ever had before and Dean forced Castiel onto his back and started drooling into his mouth like an animal. Castiel had an inexplicable desire to get on all fours for him.

“No. I really want to feel it tonight.” Castiel whispered.

“Cas, don’t say that if you don’t mean it.” Dean panted. “You must be scared of having to go through all that again.” He had to make sure, knowing how much pain Castiel had endured when their daughter was born.

“No, Dean.” Castiel slipped one hand seductively around the back of his neck and pulled him back down for a dirty kiss. “I’m not afraid of anything anymore.” Castiel felt Dean smile against his skin where they were still pressed together. It justified everything he had ever done to try and banish his cynophobia since the moment they met.

“You don’t know how happy I am to hear you say that.” Dean breathed into Castiel’s mouth, before stretching out to rest his hands on the grass either side of Castiel’s head. It took every bit of self-control he had to force himself to hold back. He could almost taste the omega pheromones seeping from every pore and the smell of fresh slick was overpowering. He sensed his mate was in heat again, and all Dean really wanted to do was drape his body over every inch of Castiel while he was pinned helplessly beneath him. It still made Castiel weak when Dean looked into his eyes like that.

“What?” Castiel asked hesitantly, one eye slightly closed while he stared up at him. Dean was always very touchy, but this was something else.

“I just can’t seem to drag myself away from you.”

“I noticed.” Castiel smiled back, letting Dean slide his tongue inside his mouth when he replied. It distorted his voice and made him feel far too warm again. “I’m not complaining, Dean. I just haven’t felt right for a couple of days.” Dean supported himself on one arm and lifted up his other hand to stroke an affectionate caress down Castiel’s cheek.

“I know, but you don’t want me to leave you alone, do you?” Dean leaned in even more, pretty sure he already knew the answer to that. The little crotch shuffle Castiel teased him with earlier definitely wasn't done on accident. Dean hoped it was a deliberate attempt to get him sparked up for something he wanted to do to him later when Grace was asleep. She settled early that day and Dean had already moved her crib into the nursery so she could sleep more peacefully at night. “Cas.” Dean added softly. “You must know why. I can smell you.”

Castiel had tried to ignore the suspicion his heat had come in again now his body had almost returned to normal after having Dean’s pup, but it seemed much more exhausting than it had before they were fully mated. Castiel didn’t know it yet, but he was just responding naturally to the depths of the pair-bond they shared. It was something even Sam never fully understood, and there was so much more to it than the compulsion to breed. Their mating cycles were now perfectly in sync and Sam had never been completely honest with Castiel about the specifics of being an A-type. He was designed to make babies, and once Castiel had been claimed for life there was nothing anyone could do to stop it.

 Α ✫ Ω 


	60. Chapter 60

They spent at least another hour making out on the lawn until the dusk started to fall. Castiel was shivering with the light touch of cold evening air on his burning skin. Dean finally helped him up and took the opportunity to grope his ass before slipping one arm around his waist and taking him back inside. Sam just made some fresh coffee. He smiled at Castiel when he set the pot down on the table. His cell phone was open in one hand.

“We were about to send out a search party.” He added. Dean laughed, sitting down opposite and pulling Castiel into his lap before he had chance to take a seat of his own.

“Actually, I was thinking we might have an early night.” Dean sifted through an assault of vivid images that summed up all the shameful things he intended to do to Castiel when he got him upstairs. The heat from his mate was now spreading across his thighs. Sam glanced deliberately at Gabriel with a smirk on his lips.

“Going to catch up on all those sleepless nights, huh? Gabe wants to take me out to a movie tonight anyway, so we’ll be out of your way in a bit.” Sam passed the phone over to his brother. “Here, look at this. I got it while you two were playing outside.” Dean grabbed the phone from his hand and squinted at the tiny screen. He scrolled through a substantial passage of text. It was from Jess. She sent Sam a long message about Crowley’s sentencing to let him know the outcome of his trial. Dean read it aloud for Castiel. He knew it was the last shred of doubt hanging silently between them like a dark shadow of the past. Dean understood just how much he needed that closure before they could finally move on and embrace a bright future together. Sam hadn’t really expected to hear from her again, but apparently Wade had insisted. He wanted to make sure Dean knew Crowley finally got what he deserved and they had nothing left to fear. Dean seemed more than satisfied Castiel would be safe now, and handed it back to Sam with a little hum of approval.

Crowley had apparently been transferred to another state after sentencing on account of all his dubious links to the local force. Jess said he was due to serve a minimum of twenty years but in all likelihood he would be out in half that if he behaved himself. Sam wasn’t worried. Crowley and others like him no longer had any power over them. Sam knew nothing could ever threaten the peace and love his brother had found with a mate he would die to protect.

Sam left with Gabriel about half an hour later and told them both they probably shouldn’t bother waiting up. Dean had no intention of doing any such thing, and planned to take Castiel up to bed as soon as the door closed behind them. Castiel did a quick sweep of the nursery before Dean dragged him away and pulled him into a passionate kiss that knocked him back against the wall with a thud. They tumbled down the hall, and Dean’s hands were on him again the second he pushed the bedroom door shut. The scent of Castiel’s arousal was tugging at his senses, making his nostrils flare wide while he grabbed handfuls of ass and growled against his throat.

Castiel let Dean pick him up and throw him across the bed so he was forced onto his back. He looked so beautiful just lying there, cheeks tinted with colour, blue eyes round with anticipation while he watched Dean come closer through a lustful gaze. Dean willingly gave in to the instinctive desire to breed his omega while he was in heat, and climbed on to the bed so he could paw at Castiel without the insufferable burden of space between them. The alpha in him was fighting to break free, and Dean was surprisingly rough when he stripped Castiel’s clothes away with no sign of the tender affection that was usually there when he touched him. Castiel spread his legs wide and let Dean suck greedily on his bottom lip while he rutted against him. He pulled his knees up to give him more space and Dean lost all control when he bit down. Castiel could taste his own blood on the tip of his tongue where Dean had nipped a little too hard.

Dean quickly pulled himself free of his jeans, yanking off his shirt with one hand while the other was reaching frantically between them and holding Castiel’s body down so he couldn’t move. Dean turned him over without saying another word and jerked Castiel's legs back so he was bent double with his head resting on his hands. Dean’s mouth was wet with the spit of arousal when he dipped his head to force out a mouthful, watching it drip down Castiel’s back and join with the drops of slick that would help Dean slide inside him. He couldn’t stop himself from scrambling behind his mate, trying to enter him with coarse, rough jabs. The soft flesh of his thighs rippled with the force of Dean’s eager prods, hands grabbing at wide omega hips and marking the delicate skin with the possessive imprints of his fingertips. Dean pushed their bodies forcefully together and bathed in the sensation of sinking all the way into someone who belonged to him so completely. It made a thrill of pleasure surge through his body like a river of fire.

Dean knew he was risking making another pup when he was bare-backing but the sight of Castiel bowed in front of him in submissive obedience crushed any sense of restraint he might have had. Dean blindly pistoned his hips against him and managed to mount him roughly from behind after a few well-placed thrusts. Castiel moaned long and loud when he felt his body tighten around Dean, pushing in deeper with each savage intrusion. Dean's instincts seemed much keener when his mate was in heat, and the biological need to breed him now they were bonded for life made the blood pump through his veins. It soon took over. Dean was only focused on binding them together and filling him with potent seed. Castiel cried out while Dean slammed into him hard until his whole body shuddered. He came inside his mate, digging his fingers in deep to keep Castiel fixed beneath him.

Castiel was held fast by the swelling knot while the heat inside him slowly faded, and his skin finally stopped itching. Dean reached down and pulled him back against his stomach. He collapsed on top of him with a sigh, falling limp when he twisted his body over so he was lying on one side with Castiel fitting perfectly against every line and curve. Dean’s heart was pumping so violently it sent his hormone-laden blood surging. Castiel fell asleep first, still locked around his mate. Dean watched him for a long time. His eyes eventually felt heavy with sleep, but his heart was still beating in time to Castiel’s while they lay together. He was everything Dean had ever wanted, the long wait worth every single second. Happiness flowed through him with every soft breath that moved against him in the darkness.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Their mother returned a few weeks later, and Castiel was already starting to show. Dean already took on the immense responsibility of raising a family when their daughter had been born and he loved the idea of adding another new life to their already perfect family. What he used to think about pregnant male omegas seemed like a lifetime ago and he pushed it aside without another thought. All that was left was acceptance.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Another pup came the following spring, and Dean finally had the son he always longed for. He didn’t realize how much he wanted it until his little boy was resting peacefully in his arms. Castiel found it much easier the second time, and Dean managed to reduce Sam to tears when they decided to name the new baby after him. Gabriel didn’t miss the little tears that prodded at the corners of his eyes. He gently took him to one side.

“Sam, you honestly don’t think you’ll ever miss that?”

“What?”

Gabriel couldn’t bring himself to actually say it, so he just nodded towards Castiel where little Sammy was nestled up against him.

“Oh, you mean babies. No, I don’t think so.” Sam shook his head. “It wasn't really something I had pencilled in, anyway. I suppose you can’t miss something you never had.”

“I suppose.” Gabriel said quietly. “I just wanted to be sure. I know the night I claimed you, it wasn’t really something that crossed my mind until I kind of went past the point of no return, if you know what I mean.” Gabriel laughed nervously. Sam smiled and reached out to tug the edge of his shirt. Gabriel relaxed into the touch and might have even blushed a little at the memory.

“It’s fine.”

“Okay. I just wanted to be sure. It’s not like I can take it back or anything, but I want you to be happy. You know that, right?”

“Of course.” Sam replied hesitantly. He knew Gabriel well enough now to see he was stalling. “What are you really trying to say?”

“Nothing.” Gabriel didn't even attempt to meet Sam’s gaze and folded straight away. “I just know sometimes I seem like I’ve got a stick up my ass, but I’m trying really hard to give you everything you want.” Gabriel admitted. “But there are just some things I can’t give you, and I need to know that’s okay.”

“Gabe.” Sam said firmly, jerking Gabriel forward until they were so close, there was practically no space between them at all. “I have you. That’s more than enough for me.” Sam dipped his head and gave his mate a tender kiss. Gabriel only had to look up into those beautiful eyes to know how much he meant it.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Grace had already taken a few unsteady steps just after her first birthday, and Dean spent many long hours in the garden with her. Castiel would often sit by the bay window and nurse the baby while he watched his daughter learn how to walk. Dean was wonderful with her and she adored him.

The years that followed passed in a heartbeat. Dean watched all his pups grow with pride and limitless patience, but it was his daughter who really filled his heart with joy and made him feel like he was the most important thing in the world. By the time Grace was almost four, she had two brothers to keep under her watchful eye and she took that role very seriously. She soon clicked on that being the only girl in a house full of boys enabled her to get away with just about anything, and used that to her advantage spectacularly. Castiel had given birth for a third time a few months before, and blessed Dean with another son. Gabriel begged them not to use his name because the child would probably never forgive him. Dean finally settled on something a little less exclusive and named him after their father, but Sam always called him Tyke because he was the smallest pup, and it just kind of stuck. Dean and Castiel knew how lucky they were to have three happy and healthy children, so when the baby was coming up for six months they decided not to try for any more. Dean was always very careful when Castiel was in heat after that.

Gabriel and Sam already accepted they would never have a family of their own, but they were like second parents to Dean and Castiel’s babies. They never tired of playing with the boys, and little Sammy was a perfectly crafted miniature of his namesake in every way. Sam was trying to teach him the alphabet and Dean imagined one day they would both end up in the study, sharing a beer and having a major geek-out session over all the old texts that once belonged to a grandfather his son would never know.

Castiel’s faith in Michael had finally been restored. He more than made up for all the lost years, always sending the puppies unnecessarily extravagant gifts for the holidays. Dean might have been ashamed by his regular displays of decadence if he thought for one minute that it had been done out of anything other than love. Michael even made a point of bringing their mother with him sometimes so Grace had someone to play with who didn’t just want to roll around in the mud and dig up worms.

Castiel woke up every morning feeling like the luckiest omega in the world. Dean had grown so fond of Gabriel and the gardens, he used the land money to build Castiel a little house in the grounds of the same estate he grew up on. Dean finally understood just how much Gabriel had done to help them, even though it hadn’t seemed like it at the time. His mother had been right about Dean from the first moment she met him. Maybe she had seen the loyalty in his eyes, and the longing to keep them all together so he could be near Sam and still have that close family none of them had ever had when they were young. Dean wanted his children to always appreciate the importance of feeling safe and loved. It was still a little place all of their own. Dean made sure the view from the main window stretched across the lawn so they could watch the children play in the garden. Castiel could still see the trailing willow and the swing where Dean proposed to him all those years ago. Grace horrified the boys by threading flowers through the ropes to remind her of the spring when the first shoots of new life would push through the frozen earth and fill the garden with colour once again.

The modest house Dean built with so much love and care looked unusual and out of place on the sprawling lawn, but Castiel didn’t care. It sometimes felt far too small for all those children, but he adored it anyway because Dean kept his promise to make a home for them. 

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel was cuddled up to Dean in bed one night when he suddenly whispered something completely unexpected.

“Do you think Grace will grow up to be like me?”

“Maybe.” Dean answered slowly. He wasn’t really sure what he was supposed to say to that. “Hey, what brought that on? Why does it matter anyway? If she is, there’s nothing we can do about it.” He pulled his mate closer to comfort him with a gentle kiss.

“It’s just… I don’t know. You probably think I’m being stupid, but I can’t help worrying about what might happen to her. I don’t want someone I love so much to ever feel like I did.”

“Of course you love her, and you know what, Cas.” Dean smiled. “Whatever happens, I want all our pups to know they should never be ashamed of what they are.” He gently touched Castiel’s face when he closed his eyes. Dean could still make him feel wonderful, even after all this time. He could almost feel the unconditional love flowing from Dean’s fingertips where they were resting against his skin. “I’m only sorry it took so long for you to realize that yourself. You’re beautiful, Cas. Beautiful, and smart and just - ” Dean hesitated, searching for the right word. He eventually settled on _perfect_. “I can't imagine my life without you in it.”

“Dean.” Castiel murmured tearfully, letting his mate wrap his arms around his back and hug him tight. _I love you_ suddenly didn’t seem enough somehow. Castiel didn't think there were enough words in the universe to ever explain how he felt about Dean Winchester. He settled down again, but he couldn’t sleep. All Dean’s sweet reassurances had helped ease his concern, but there was still that one part of him buried deep inside his soul that would always know what it was like to be scared and alone. If he had ever wished so hard for anything, it was that his little girl would never have to live with the pain of being different. All he could do was wait.

Α ✫ Ω 


	61. Chapter 61

Castiel spent many more sleepless nights wondering if Grace would one day present as an omega. Dean would just sigh patiently and promise Castiel over again, that whatever happened he would never let her suffer the same fate he had. He might have warmed to Gabriel over the years, but Dean still reminded him of that little indiscretion whenever he needed some ammunition in an argument. Gabriel never took it to heart. He knew he more than made up for all his past mistakes.

The pups grew like weeds, and formed such a deep bond with Sam they sometimes called him Daddy by mistake. Gabriel loved them like they were his own and would often tell them stories about how their parents met. He diplomatically left out the bit about once thinking most male alphas had uncontrollable libidos, and made all their decisions with their dicks. Sam would always smile in support, nodding in all the right places when Gabriel finished every performance with a romantic conclusion about falling for their Uncle Sam and saving the day. They were still too young to understand the dynamics of it all, but none of it really mattered anymore.

Sam came to Dean just after the youngest pup was born, to tell him he finally understood why he spent almost three decades following his brother around like a lap dog in search of his true mate. When he saw how happy Dean was with his family, Sam knew exactly why they had waited so long. He caught him by the arm one evening just as Dean was heading back home with a glass of milk for Castiel in one hand, and one of Gabriel’s cookies in the other. _So whipped_ stayed firmly behind Sam’s teeth, pressing his lips together to stop it spilling out. He just stared at Dean with a knowing smile. That one look was a whole conversation between them.

“Don’t even say it.” Dean warned, with a twinkle in his eye he didn’t even try to hide.

Sam just laughed.

“I’m glad I bumped into you, actually. I wanted to tell you something.”

“Okay.” 

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, Dean, but I’m actually glad you deliberately ignored my advice, and dismissed me completely all those years. I might not have always been the most supportive about everything you believed in, but you found your heart - and that’s all that ever really mattered.”

Dean looked up at Sam, completely lost for words. Sam was trying to tell him he forgave his big brother for an endless cycle of skeezy hotel rooms and cold pop tarts. Ever since Dean marked Castiel with his scent when they kissed for the first time, everything made more sense in that one breathtaking minute when Castiel was pressed against his mouth than any part of his life that had gone before. Dean didn't know then he had found the other half of his pair-bond, but from that moment he was lost, and Sam was telling him it was okay.

All of it.

 Α ✫ Ω 

**15 years later**

Dean was just putting the finishing touches to some decorations carved from little scraps of balsa wood when he heard soft footsteps crunching on the gravel behind him. He turned to look over one shoulder. The concentration on his face soon faded, quickly replaced with joy.

“Hi, Daddy.” Grace smiled wide when she greeted her father. He deposited everything on the table and hurriedly spat out a few tiny nails he was holding between his teeth. He stuck the tack hammer in his back pocket so he could pull her into a crushing hug. Dean swept her up off the ground and gave her a tender kiss.

“Hey, baby girl.”

Grace still looked exactly like Dean, but she had Castiel’s temperament, and that was unusual for an alpha. Dean would have liked to take the credit for all of that, but it was just the way she was made and he wouldn’t have changed her for anything. She presented as an alpha two years before, and Dean didn’t say a word to Castiel, but he was glad. Castiel’s fears for her future no longer kept him awake at night and Dean made a point of teaching his daughter how to respect the true value of others. He hoped she might one day take a mate of her own who she would always care for and cherish in the way he had. He passed on his lore book to her when she was old enough to understand its importance. Dean wondered if some of Sam had eventually rubbed off on him after all when he told her to read it from cover to cover, and not just look at the pictures. He once made that mistake before and was now holding the result in his arms. He wanted Grace to really understand why he and Castiel were always been meant to be, and how fate had long since determined they would be together until their last breath.

Dean always knew Castiel was worried he might have passed on the recessive gene to her. Not that it would have mattered to Dean if he had. Growing up around all that testosterone helped his daughter understand how difficult it was to keep those natural instincts under control, but all of them had always done everything they could to make her happy and show her how loved she was. There was nothing in the world Dean wouldn’t do for her. She hung on his every word like he had painted the stars in the sky just for her so she could watch them shine at night while she fell asleep.

All three of the pups were brought up to believe there really were some gentle alphas out there who didn’t hate or fear anything. Alphas who were capable of caring for their mates with a love so consuming nothing could ever take it from them, no matter how many bumps in the road they had to withstand along the path to find true happiness. The thought of any of their babies presenting as an omega was still something Castiel just couldn’t shake. The past had left a deep scar that had taken Dean many years to heal. He never undervalued the affection of his children and the calm peace he had found in his devotion to Castiel and their growing family.

Grace covered her green eyes with one hand to block out the fading sunlight. She stepped a little closer, tilting her head when her gaze drifted over Dean’s shoulder.

“What you doing?”

“It’s a surprise for Papa.” Dean smiled. He eventually set her back down. 

“For what?” Grace asked slowly. She suddenly stopped. “It looks like you moved the whole kitchen outside. Oh, no... I haven’t missed an anniversary again, have I?” Dean actually felt himself colour up. Discussing the details of planning a romantic and potentially exhausting evening with Castiel when the pups were out of the house wasn’t exactly something he wanted to share with his teenage daughter.

“Nah. Nothin’ like that. Just something I felt like doing. The boys are having a sleep over up at the house again tonight, so I thought maybe Papa would like me to rustle up my speciality and give him a bit of attention. He deserves it.”

“That’s cute, Daddy.”

Dean turned away, busying himself by fiddling with the candles. 

“Shut up.”

Dean heard Grace suppress a little laugh, and rubbed one hand across the back of his neck. He dared to look back up just in time to see her trying to bite back a smile. Dean playfully shooed her away. 

“Go on, get outta here. Don’t you have a date tonight?” The handful of potential boyfriends who had already been subjected to a terrifying introduction to her father hadn’t even come close to passing his preliminary inspection. Dean already chased most of them away with hollow threats of violence before he finally allowed one to date her. The young beta reminded him of his beloved Castiel. He was shy and there was something honest about him that made him impossible to dislike. Dean had no doubt Grace was more than capable of putting him in his place if he ever tried anything above a bit of hand-holding.

“Don’t you?” She laughed, running inside to get changed. Dean swept his tongue across his bottom lip, cursing himself in his head for being quite so obvious.

Castiel spent most of the afternoon up at the house with Gabriel, going through the accounts and reporting back to Michael. Dean was ready and waiting for him when he saw Castiel finally heading home without the boys in tow. He quickly lit the candles and draped a cloth over one arm so he could pull out a chair for Castiel. Dean added a dramatic sweep to encourage his mate to join him at the table.

“What’s all this?” Castiel gave him a watchful squint.

“Just sit down, Cas.” Dean grinned at him. He helped him into his seat, and poured out a glass of wine. “What? I’m not allowed to spoil my husband once in a while?”

“That would definitely be a yes.”

“Well then, park your butt and suck it up.” Dean kissed the top of Castiel’s head before taking a seat opposite him. 

“This is wonderful, Dean. Thank you.” Castiel said quietly. Dean had really made an effort to perfect every little detail. “But I’m still not sure why you think you need to do something like this for me. I know you love me, you tell me all the time.”

Dean nodded, setting his glass back on the table.

“I know I do, but words are easy, Cas. I wanted to show you just how much I appreciate everything you do for me.”

“I do it because I want to, Dean.” Castiel smiled. “I don’t expect you to thank me for loving you. You made that happen all on your own.”

“Hmm. Well I guess you’re not so bad yourself, Mr. Winchester.” Dean winked. Castiel had taken his name many years before when they married, but it still sounded strange when Dean said it out loud. “I suppose I could have done a lot worse.” Dean teased him. Castiel tapped him playfully on the back of his knuckles with the end of a fork.

“Not bad for a ten dollar bet.”

“Shit, Cas.” Dean mumbled under his breath. He gave Castiel an apologetic glance. “I thought you’d forgotten about that.”

“Huh.” Castiel replied with a snort. He soon reached over the table for Dean’s hand when his face suddenly broke into another smile. “You wish I had.” Castiel just stroked his fingers where they were twisted around his own. “Dean, I forgave you a long time ago for that. Besides, Sam told me years ago he only did that to get you to talk to me instead of secretly checking out my ass every time I passed you in the hall.” Dean suddenly jumped up and pulled Castiel out of his seat into a suffocating embrace.

“Damn right, I was checking out your ass.” Dean growled, reaching down behind Castiel and giving it a good squeeze, just to illustrate why he had been quite so impressed by it in the first place. “Definitely not my finest moment, but boy… was that ever the best return on a wager.” Castiel smiled again. From the second a seductive voice asked him if he needed any help that day standing in the lobby and sucking on a bloody finger, he belonged to Dean. Body and heart. 

“You know it.”

They stayed wrapped around each other for a long time before they finally sat back down to finish their meal, and Castiel drained the last of his wine. Dean was watching him across the table with his chin resting in one hand, a stupid fluffy smile tugging at his mouth. He looked lost in thought until a stray idea seemed to grab him and he stood up again. 

“Dance with me, Cas.”

“What?”

Dean suddenly stretched out his hand and reached for his mate.

“You heard me. C’mere.”

“But there’s no music.”

“Then we’ll just have to make our own.” Castiel felt himself dragged to his feet again before he had the chance to refuse such a sweet request. Dean swept him around, holding him close while he hummed a little tune against Castiel’s cheek. The stars began to peek out from the canvas of a dark sky and the moonlight lit up Castiel’s face and made his blue eyes sparkle. “Fuck, I love you.” Dean stared down into the eyes of a man he had given every last piece of his heart.

Castiel saw a quiet desperation there, like Dean was almost scared he might somehow disappear if he didn’t hold him close enough to feel the patter of his heartbeat against his chest. Dean lunged forward, kissing his mate so forcefully Castiel had to steady himself by clutching at Dean and winding his fingers tightly into his t-shirt. A distant storm cloud rumbled through the still air. Just for a second, the last sixteen years were erased in an instant. Dean stroked calming touches through his hair, but this time there was no fear. Dean dipped his head to kiss Castiel again.

They were still glued together at the mouth when they heard a gentle cough behind them. Grace was standing patiently under the willow tree, waiting to say goodbye to her parents with the promise she would be back by ten, before Dean called in the National Guard. Castiel gave her a little wave when she got into the back of the taxi neither of them had even noticed was now parked at the end of the driveway. Sam said he would wait up for her.

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Castiel sighed happily. The years had rushed by so quickly since they started a family.

“’Course she is.” Dean whispered, warming the back of Castiel’s neck. It still made him shiver just as much as when they first met. “She’s your daughter.” Dean stood behind him and lovingly slipped both of his arms around Castiel’s waist. He swayed him in a soft embrace. Castiel tipped his head back to rest it on Dean’s shoulder.

“Flatterer.” Castiel laughed gently, leaning back into his alpha. Dean traced his fingers a little lower and licked at the curve of Castiel’s ear. “Dean Winchester, if I didn’t know any better, I would think you’re trying to seduce me.”

“You bet your sweet ass, I am.” Dean pressed his lips against Castiel’s throat. “Is it working?” 

“Maybe.” Castiel hummed. 

“Are all of them definitely sleeping up at the house tonight with Gabe and Sam?” Dean asked, just to make sure before he let himself get too excited. 

“Pretty sure. They’ve never turned it down before.”

Sam often invited the pups up to the house to watch a movie, or to have a camp out in the garden and listen to Gabriel’s stories. The endings were always the same, but the boys still absorbed every single word until their eyes shone like amber stars in the reflective glow of firelight. Sam and Gabriel spoiled them rotten and Dean had always been amazed they never overdosed on buttered popcorn.

“Fancy an early night, then?”

“Another one?” Castiel replied innocently. Dean peppered a line of inviting kisses all the way down the back of Castiel’s neck until he reached his shoulder and the fading scar that bonded them as true mates forever. He had taken many more marks over the first bite since then. Dean would get carried away in the heat of passion sometimes, or deliberately renew his claim on Castiel every once in a while. Dean pretended it was just because he liked to sink his teeth into his mate when they were making love, but he loved the rush of knowing Castiel belonged to him completely and had the brand to prove it. Dean still had his arms wrapped around his waist, coaxing an answer out of him with gentle strokes up and down his body while Castiel trembled in his arms. Dean already knew what he was going to say. Castiel always replied with the same few words whenever Dean pretended to have to try and persuade him to come back to bed. It was his favourite kinky little game, and Dean indulged him magnificently.

“Okay, but only if you bite me.”

Α ✫ Ω 


	62. Epilogue

Another year passed. Spring was almost over when an unexpected shower broke without warning. Castiel was absently watching the rain clouds move across the sky. The thunderstorm forced him inside while he waited for Dean to return from another meeting with a client in the city. The business had been doing well, and Gabriel finally agreed to make Dean a partner. Sam was really grateful for giving him a chance, knowing Dean managed to blag his way through high school with an equal measure of charm and dumb luck. Dean now had the incentive to provide for a family he adored, still wanting to protect his mate from the rest of the world. Castiel always stayed there to look after the children and make a haven for Dean to come home to at night that was filled with love and light.

Their bond had intensified over the many years since Dean bit him for the first time, and they still couldn’t stay apart for very long. There was a perpetual ache in his chest that pulled his mind elsewhere while he waited for Dean to return on the rare occasions when he had to go in to town with Gabriel. Every minute that passed without him still seemed like an eternity, but Castiel had something important on his mind and was hoping to get Dean alone later so they could talk.

It was getting dark by the time Dean took the boys up to the main house for supper. Sam was already waiting on the step, and Dean handed them over with a smile. He offered to pick them up later if they got homesick, but they both knew they would be curled up with Sam and Gabriel until the morning.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean always dreamed of a happy ending, but he never thought his own would be so beautiful. His own little slice of paradise. Dean was safe and free. It still felt wonderful, even after all this time. Crowley was threatening to try and pursue Dean’s assault on him as a civil case after his release, but more than six years had passed without him being charged and there was nothing he could do. Crowley had spent almost fifteen years behind bars, and those years had not been kind.

Gabriel later discovered from some of his business contacts, Crowley had ended up penniless and alone after serving out that long sentence. He had once been seen wandering around the back streets, muttering curses to the man who once stole a rare omega from him. No one believed him. 

They never heard of him again.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel seemed distracted when Dean strode across the grass towards him after he said goodnight to Sam and the pups. He was watching Castiel kick mindlessly at the fallen willow leaves where the storm had dragged them from their weeping branches. Dean came up behind him and reached for his hand. He asked Castiel if he was alright, but he didn’t answer. He was just standing there in front of the battered garden swing that was still a permanent fixture on the lawn. Dean knew at once something was really bothering him.

“Why did you even fix this old thing?” Castiel suddenly dropped down onto the weathered seat and wrapped his fingers around the fraying ropes. The flowers Grace wound through them as a child were now just lifeless brown remnants of a past that had shaped her very existence. Each fragile petal now completely devoid of colour, suspended there like a marker in time.

“I dunno.” Dean shrugged, running his palms tenderly up the sides of Castiel’s arms and covering both hands with his own where they were twisted around the beaten flax. “I suppose I just wanted you to have happy memories instead of sad ones.” Castiel couldn’t say anything at all. He had been biting back his emotions all day, and everything Dean said made him want to cry. It wouldn’t have taken much for the floodgates to open, but the warm sentiment of those words tipped him over the edge. He could feel the tears start to sting. Castiel finally found his voice, pretending it was just the cold breeze that made his eyes water. 

“This is where you proposed to me, do you remember?”

“Do I remember?” Dean echoed indignantly. “'Course I do. I wanted it to be here, Cas.”

“That’s why it will always be my special place, but now for better reasons.” Castiel murmured.

“You sure you’re okay, babe? You seem real thoughtful tonight.” Dean asked. Castiel just nodded, even though it was a lie. He was watching the movement of Dean’s mouth, but he still couldn’t quite bring himself to say any more until Dean unwittingly gave him the perfect opportunity to tell him something he had been trying to get out all day. “Sometimes, I don’t think I deserve to be this happy.”

“If _anyone_ deserves to be this happy, it’s you.” Castiel replied passionately. “You’re a wonderful man, Dean. You gave me a home of my own, and four beautiful pups. I could never have asked you for anything more.”

“If you had, I would have done my best to give it to you.” Dean replied. He suddenly stopped talking and looked at his mate in confusion. “Four? You mean, three.”

“No, Dean. _Four_.”

Castiel waited for Dean to process the fact he was going to be a father again after so many years.

“Cas?” Dean held him a little tighter and slipped both hands over Castiel’s stomach, smiling when he reached down to run his fingertips over familiar curves. “Are you serious? I thought maybe you’d been sneaking a few extra slices of Gabriel’s pie.” Castiel shook his head. 

“I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you. I thought you’d be mad.”

“What? Why would I be mad?” Dean gaped. “That’s awesome.” Castiel thought he must have been faking so much open enthusiasm, but the look in those shining eyes betrayed his excitement. “But… how?” Castiel shot him a cynical glare, and Dean actually blushed. “No. I mean… we were so careful after Tyke.”

“Your birthday?” Castiel prompted slowly, letting Dean think back to the additional gift he received after the pups went to bed.

“Oh, yeah… my birthday.” Dean smiled at the memory. That bottle of vintage Merlot Gabriel gave him had a lot to answer for. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Dean kissed him on the cheek. Castiel should have known better than to think Dean would be anything less than ecstatic.

“I was just scared. We agreed not to have any more and the others are almost grown.” Castiel stammered quietly. He had expected something else, but now he wasn’t sure why.

“Hey. Don’t ever think you have to apologize for that.” Dean looked hurt Castiel could ever doubt his loyalty. “I told you a long time ago you got nothing to be sorry for, Cas. Not ever.” Words echoing from a past Castiel had almost forgotten. “Here, jump up.” Dean told him, helping Castiel to stand. He plonked himself on the seat and pulled Castiel down to perch on his knee. Dean suddenly grew serious, holding on to him so tightly, he had no chance of slipping off. “I sometimes forget how scared you were. I’m so happy I found you, baby.” Castiel didn’t hesitate to lean back and wind around his mate so he could rest his head on Dean’s shoulder while he stroked his hands. “I remember you once told me you didn’t like to be touched like this.”

“I still don’t.” Dean felt his heart thud, but Castiel wasn’t done. “By anyone but you.”

“That’s because you’re mine.” Dean went after him with a possessive fumble, exploring Castiel’s body with covetous hands. 

“Well, you do keep telling me I was made just for you.” Castiel pressed a tender kiss to Dean’s mouth with a subtle turn of his head. “You took that fear away, Dean. I can never repay you for that.” 

“You repay me every day.” Dean hushed him, rubbing a gentle palm across Castiel’s stomach. “Just by being here. You complete me, Cas. You always have.”

“Dean.” Castiel whispered, deep emotions washing over him again. Dean always knew exactly what to say to get Castiel to curl into him and bathe in undying affection. Castiel was still an absolute sucker for being told how precious he was. “You sap.” He sniffled, dabbing at his eyes. 

“You know, I’ve only ever been frightened of one thing.” Dean admitted. “Losing you.” Castiel cuddled into Dean even more, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck while the swing rocked them gently backwards and forwards in the dusk.

“Dean… you know that's never going to happen.” Castiel purred against him. All the doubt and uncertainty that once threatened to tear them apart was all so long ago and far away. There really was nothing left to be afraid of.

“What about you then, fearless wonder?” Dean forced a laugh, making out he had something in his eye when Castiel noticed they were misting over. “Any regrets, Cas?”

“Only one.” Castiel replied quietly. He could feel Dean breathing heavily against his neck while he waited for him to finish. “That I don’t tell you how much I love you, every single day of my life.”

“Well, maybe you should start.”

“Maybe I will.” Castiel smiled, closing his eyes and shamelessly smothering himself in the protective scent of his alpha. “You know, I would give my life for you, even if I don’t always say it.”

They sat silently in the garden until the rosy sun finally started to dip below a far horizon. Dean buried his face deep into Castiel’s hair and breathed him in while they watched the twilight fall.

Together.

 Α ✫ Ω 


	63. Time Stamp 1

The heat of late spring came in suddenly that year and Castiel was already heavy with another pup neither of them expected. One too many glasses of expensive wine on Dean’s birthday had made the decision for both of them they would be adding one more little Winchester to their family, and Dean appeared to be even more excited about the latest pregnancy than he ever had before. Castiel put it down to assuming Tyke would be their last. They were so grateful for each one of their children and more than content with the three they already had, but Castiel saw something wonderful there when he looked in Dean’s eyes. There was a distant memory of that young, virile alpha he had fallen in love with so many years before. Castiel thought his fascination with the unborn pup showed how delighted Dean was that he was still capable of filling Castiel with a baby.

Castiel tried very hard to share Dean’s enthusiasm, but he was scared he might be facing a difficult birth now he found himself in his late forties and knocked up again. It never once occurred to either of them they would be blessed with another little one at that stage in their lives. The idea of more sleepless nights ahead had taken some getting used to. Even Sam had no idea how long a special A-type like Castiel could be fertile for, but he didn’t seem particularly surprised and took far too much delight in teasing Dean for not being more careful.

Castiel suffered relentless morning sickness again. It hadn’t been that bad since the first time, when he had fallen pregnant with Grace. Dean was more than happy to care for him, letting him stay in bed while he fixed the rest of his family some breakfast. He sent the boys out to play afterwards, and left Grace to watch them out the window while he took Castiel a glass of fresh juice. She hardly said a word to him while they ate. Dean suspected she was still mad at him for moving her curfew back an hour because she came in ten minutes late the night before. He trusted her, but he wanted to teach his daughter some responsibility and that rules were there for a reason, not just to be broken. He left her to sulk in peace and retreated back to the bedroom.

Dean carefully pushed against the door with one shoulder. Castiel’s eyes slid up to meet his own, opening wide when Dean’s head appeared in the gap. He loved the way Castiel glanced up at him from the shelter of their bed. A single flutter of those seductive black eyelashes still made Dean’s breath catch in his throat. His mate was just as beautiful as the day they met. Seeing him pregnant again was just a bonus. Dean always saw some ethereal quality in Castiel when he was carrying a pup. Dean guessed it was probably all in his head, but that didn’t make it any less real. He took a moment to admire his omega while the bright blue filtered out to greet him.

“How you feelin’?”

“I’m alright.” Castiel answered with a little smile, pushing himself up on his hands and carefully taking the glass from Dean. He only managed one sip before he shook his head and set it down by the bed.

“You don’t look alright.” Dean said, with concern. He reached out to stroke one hand through Castiel’s hair. “You can’t even keep juice down.”

“I know. I thought it would have passed by now. I don’t suppose I’ll have to put up with it for much longer.” He added, staring absently over the prominent curve of his stomach. Dean didn’t miss the exhausted sigh Castiel let out when he looked down.

“Cas?” Dean asked hesitantly. He could feel his heart start to pound. Something had bothered him for a while. “You are happy about the baby, aren’t you?

“Of course I am.” Castiel looked genuinely surprised he even felt the need to ask. Dean knew Castiel better than anyone. “Really. I am, even if it was an accident.” Dean shot him another unsteady glance. When Castiel saw the look in his eyes, he wished he'd chosen a better word.

“Don’t say it like that.” Dean said quietly, like the pup might take it personally. He was soon drawn back to Castiel’s bump. “It was just meant to be, Cas.” He dared a small smile of his own. Dean always believed everything about their pair-bond had been written in the stars long ago, and if fate wanted them to have another baby, he had no right to question it.

“I know, Dean. I really didn’t mean it like that.” Castiel gently rested one hand on top of his belly, smoothing his palm over it with a light caress when he thought about a new life growing inside him again. “I just can’t believe you only have to wink at me, and I end up like this.” It wasn’t a coincidence. Sam had known for many years that the very nature of what made Castiel so special was also why they produced so many children. Letting Dean take him during his heats had more often than not resulted in that inevitable conclusion. Dean sat down on the bed and wrapped one arm around Castiel’s shoulders. He carefully pulled him in close enough to hear his heart beating.

“You sure there’s nothing wrong?”

“I’m sure.” Castiel reassured him, while Dean traced his fingertips along his arm. “I just feel sick all the time, like I did with Grace. It wasn’t so bad with the boys. I’m pretty sure you have another little girl on the way.” Castiel felt the curve of Dean’s smile twitch against his cheek. The memory of his first pregnancy soon brought him back to the dilemma of what they were going to do with the one they already had. She hadn’t been quite the same since she found out Castiel was expecting again, and he wasn’t really sure why.

“I don’t know, maybe I was just ready for us to have some time on our own again. Everything happened so quickly, and we had a family before we had chance to really enjoy each other like we should.”

“I know, baby.” Dean mumbled against the side of his face. “I’m sorry if this wasn’t what you wanted.”

Castiel always wanted to cry when Dean called him that. He cursed himself in his head for sowing even the tiniest seed of doubt. He hadn’t got his point across very well. There was nothing in the world he wouldn’t have done to make Dean happy. 

“I didn’t mean that the way it came out.” Castiel said quickly, placing a tender kiss on Dean’s cheek. “I love you. You're everything to me, and the years I've spent with you have been my happiest. I always wanted to give you a family.”

Dean knew he meant it, but he hated the thought of Castiel hurting again while his stomach continued to swell. They all knew from past experience his gestation was likely to be short because of what he was. Dean tried to be more attentive than ever and seemed to think Castiel should be treated carefully whenever he got pregnant. Sometimes he loved the attention and other times when his hormones kicked in, it just pissed him off, so Dean would strategically avoid him for a couple of hours until they wore off again. Dean guessed this was one of those times, and it would just be smarter to leave Castiel in bed for a while to sleep it off. Dean kissed him back and left him to rest while he wandered over to the house to see if Sam had any idea what he could do to help make Castiel feel better, or if they had something to take the edge off his nausea. The front door was unlocked so Dean let himself in and instinctively headed straight upstairs and down the hall towards the study. As expected, he could hear Sam shuffling around inside and talking to himself. Dean shook his head in despair and nudged the door with his foot. Sam was reaching for something on the top shelf. He turned to look back over his shoulder when he heard it creak open. 

“Mornin’.” Dean nodded, pausing while he watched his brother tease down a book with the ends of his fingertips. He didn’t reply. “I swear you spend way too much time in here.” Dean stuck both hands deep into his pockets while he scanned some of the spines with feigned interest, his head tilted to one side. “What you doin’?”

“Cataloguing, Dean.” Sam sighed. He continued to mutter to himself. “I had it all by publication date, but I think I’m going to go for alphabetically.”

“Dork.”

“Dean, you don’t actually have to stand there and watch me. Besides which, you only ever come over here when you want something, or if Cas has blown you off and you want me to tell you what to say to get him to talk to you again.” Dean squinted at him. “Anyway, Gabe needs some shelf space for all the Foundation stuff. Looks like he’s going to have to run most of it from home now Jess can only manage a three-day week.” Sam still loved to spend most of his spare time rummaging through his library. He knew he would never be able to persuade his brother to appreciate it the way he had. They were just very different people with their own particular skills. He happened to have a talent for literary analysis and Dean was very good at making babies. He didn’t bother pointing it out.

Sam had plodded his way through most of the books that once lined the shelves in the study. Over the years he discovered some more compelling evidence that all of Castiel’s past anxieties and phobias had only been a way of trying to draw Dean in so they could mate and complete their bond. Sam was now sold on the power of an alpha’s natural instinct, and knew Dean and Castiel were always meant to be together.

Gabriel never forgot the promise he made at their wedding. True to his word, he eventually set up a help centre for vulnerable omegas in the city. He had chosen a new direction in life when he finally realized the importance of home and family. A direction he probably would never have taken before he was dragged back to Castiel all that time ago and the happiness he found when he claimed Sam as his mate.

Gabriel didn’t really have enough spare time to man it himself, so he persuaded Sam to ask Jess to leave dispatch and run the main office for him. She was the only contact there they could really trust, and he couldn’t deny she certainly had plenty of experience in that department. Jess and Wade finally settled down and started producing children of their own a few years before. The demands of their growing family meant she was now finding it hard to maintain her position there on a full-time basis, so Gabriel took on much more responsibility for it and moved most of the admin stuff back home. Over the last six months they had shared the assignments between them, and then Castiel had gone and got pregnant again so now Gabriel had to deal with most of the other business interests on his own. A number of the more informative books made it down to the office in town. Gabriel managed to coax Sam into giving him a few of the ones he already read at least twice. He found some kind of tragic irony there that the father who indirectly condemned Castiel to abandonment was of more use to them now than he ever had been when he was alive.

Sam knew Gabriel still felt like he had to make up for something, no matter how many times he tried to convince him otherwise. Gabriel kept saying if maybe Castiel had been given a home where he could have been cared for instead of having to fend for himself at such a young age, his whole life would have been different. His brother had been almost the same age as Grace was now when he had been forced to leave, and that just made him feel worse. Gabriel tried to overcompensate for his past mistakes, and Sam eventually gave in and continued to support him because it was good therapy. They had even spent the last few weeks actively looking for more A-types like Castiel, with no success. Gabriel figured they either really were as rare as Sam hinted, or they didn't even know what they were. Perhaps some of them were simply too afraid to come forward.

Dean worked hard to prove himself after his promotion, but his mate always came first. He was determined to divide his time between the business and Castiel so he was on hand whenever he needed something. Grace often looked after the boys when school was out. She was in her last year and starting to think seriously about her own future. Gabriel wanted her to help out with some of his more sensitive clients, but she had apparently already made up her mind she wanted something more. He tried not to take it personally. Even Gabriel noticed how distant she was since the announcement baby number four was on the way. He didn’t think it was a coincidence she only started to show any kind of attitude at all when she found out about the pup. She seemed to have figured out Castiel was expecting again before they actually told her. Her alpha senses were just as strong as Dean’s and she just came right out with it one day so they had to make it official. Dean seemed to be on the receiving end of most of it. He always had so much love for Castiel, he never imagined he might have any space left in his heart for anyone else, but Grace had shown him different. Dean had done everything he could to make her happy since the day she came into the world. 

Sam reluctantly set down the book he was after and gave Dean some attention. Sam could sense he was worried about the pup. Castiel was struggling to cope with the demands of being pregnant again. Dean would never admit to that of course, but he did seem even more agitated than usual and Sam knew the signs of a dry rut when he saw one. They had been mated for so long, those weren’t quite as frequent or consuming as they were but Dean would still get irritable sometimes. His last conversation with Castiel about the imminent arrival had upset him more than he let on. Castiel still went into heat every so often but they managed it, and Grace looked after the boys whenever they needed to lock themselves away for a couple of days until it passed or he took Dean’s knot to make it stop. The pair-bond they shared was much more than a compulsion to breed. Their mating cycles had been in perfect synchronicity for years, so whenever Castiel was pregnant it screwed it all to hell.

“Dean, I know you’re getting jumpy but I can’t see him holding on much longer.” Sam offered, gently reminding his brother Grace had arrived after about sixteen weeks. Even though she had been small and probably a bit early, Sam imagined it wouldn’t be too long before their house was filled with the patter of tiny paws again.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Grace was ready and waiting for Dean when he returned home. He could tell by the look on her face he was still in trouble. She had clearly been practicing a little pitch in her head, and unleashed it on him before he was even through the door.

“Are you going to change your mind about what time I have to be in later?”

“Honey.” Dean started patiently. “I just want you to be safe.”

“Daddy, I know you think you have to protect me from the world and I get that, I really do.” She stared him down, hands on her hips, hesitating only for a second before she told him exactly what she thought of his attempt at parenting. “But you have to stop treating me like a child. You think I’m perfectly responsible when you want me to babysit the boys or do chores.” Dean frowned at her. That wasn’t really fair, but he didn’t interrupt. “If I want to stay out late, I will, and I don’t need your permission.” Dean gave her the special look he had perfected with skill as she had grown into a beautiful headstrong alpha. He just wanted her to understand him.

“Gracie!” Dean called after her when his mouth started working again, but she already slammed her bedroom door shut without even giving him a second glance. “Grace Mary Winchester, come back here this instant.” Dean waited until his blood stopped pumping through his veins so hard he could feel his pulse throb. His usual response was to go find Castiel and wrap himself around his mate for the comfort he needed. Castiel was already up and trying to find something to wear he could actually fasten. The noise had forced him out of bed and Dean’s expression told him everything.

“Grace?”

Dean nodded, pulling Castiel in for a cuddle. He had to shift his body to one side to accommodate the baby bump that stopped him getting as close as he would have liked. He dropped his head onto Castiel’s shoulder.

“She’s impossible.”

“She’s you, Dean.” Castiel whispered. It wasn’t meant as anything but an affectionate reminder they were so alike. “She’s an alpha, and that girl has a stubborn streak a mile wide that she definitely didn't inherit from me.” Dean grunted something against Castiel's neck where his face was still buried in the warmth of his mate. Castiel was once terrified Grace would end up being like him, but she had always been more like her father. No one was really surprised when she presented. Dean’s unconditional love had gone a long way to get rid of Castiel's anxiety and help him to be strong. Having four pups certainly made him appreciate the things that really mattered, and nothing much bothered him anymore. Dean reluctantly pulled away to let Castiel finish getting dressed in peace. He slipped on one of Dean’s shirts and left it hanging open at the front while he turned to straighten out the bed. He couldn’t quite reach far enough and bending was almost impossible. Dean practically fell over himself to help.

“Dean, I have done this before, you know.” Castiel sighed patiently. As much as he loved Dean's attention, they both had responsibilities now and they couldn’t just give in to the desire to forget the rest of the world and spend lazy days in bed together. Dean helped Castiel to stand and took the opportunity to pull him close again. He pressed a possessive kiss against his mouth that only left him frustrated.

“You always look real cute with my pup inside you. I love you being pregnant, Cas.” Dean grinned. The sharp white teeth that claimed him all those years ago were now visible under the curve of his top lip. Castiel felt a twitch of desire run underneath his stomach. Dean still knew how to make him feel just as weak now as when he was a strong, young alpha. The only thing that had changed with time was the shine of fond affection in his eyes that told Castiel how much he had grown to love him. Dean circled the baby with his hands and ran his fingers over it. “Another girl, huh?” He smiled again. “Wonder if this one will be like you.”

Castiel always managed to hide most of his concern that any of their babies might one day present as an omega. Even though he knew about Grace, it was still something he just couldn’t shake. One more thing to worry about while he waited for the baby to arrive. It was likely at least one of their children would have inherited what Castiel sometimes called his dodgy gene. Dean always told him that was what made him special and there was nothing dodgy about it, but that was just how he felt and no amount of pandering to his insecurities would ever convince him otherwise. Dean’s mouth soon dropped down again when he remembered how Grace had looked at him over the rim of her cereal bowl that morning.

“What’s really the matter?” Castiel asked suddenly, wrapping his fingers around Dean’s hands. He could guess well enough, but he wanted him to say it. Dean quickly found himself giving in to those demanding blue eyes and ran through a list of his daughter’s less desirable qualities she subjected him to before he even managed to get one word out in response.

“Why does she hate me for trying to be a good father? She’s impulsive, unreasonable.” Dean paused for breath. “… and she never listens to me, Cas. She never listens.”

“Yes, dear.” Castiel said softly, watching Dean with indulgent patience. “I can’t imagine where she gets it from.” Castiel slinked both arms around Dean’s waist and dipped the tips of his fingers into his jeans. He stroked them lightly over the warm skin to calm him. “You have to let her breathe, Dean.” Castiel added quietly, feeling the muscles tense beneath his fingers. “She doesn’t hate you. I think you just need to let her make her own mistakes.” Castiel smiled. “We had to.” Dean stopped breathing so hard when he looked down at his mate. There was just something about him that always made everything alright. Dean loved him so much.

“We didn’t make any, did we?” Dean murmured gently. It made Castiel lean into him even more.

“Not everyone is as lucky as we are. So long as she knows you’ll always be here for her if she needs you.” They were so similar it would be almost impossible to get them to talk about how they felt. Dean just couldn’t see it, and Castiel had enough to think about without having to try and keep the peace between them. It had taken him many years of devotion and loyalty to understand Dean perfectly and Grace was just as stubborn as her father if she had her mind fixed on something. Castiel never forgot how persistent Dean was when he had his heart set on taking him as a mate, and that fire burned inside her just as brightly. He could have happily knocked their heads together and have done. “Besides, you’re probably going to have to go through all this again one day and I don’t want you to be afraid to let our children grow up.”

Dean wasn’t listening. He couldn’t forget Grace had refused to come back when he called her. He was at a loss to know what to do to make her see it was only because he loved her. He still couldn’t seem to detach from the protective father role he readily accepted from the second he watched those pink lines develop in a dingy motel room in the middle of nowhere.

“Maybe she would like to spend the summer with your mother, give you a chance to have some time with the baby.” Dean suggested. “I’m sure Gabe and Sam will be more than happy to take the boys when the pup comes. You know how much they love staying over there.”

“Of course they do.” Castiel replied. “Gabriel has a freezer full of ice cream, no rule on bed time, and pay per view. What's not to love? I don’t really think you and I stand any chance of securing first place in their affections.” Dean smiled. Castiel had a point. “I don’t know about her going away though. Don’t you think that will just make it worse? I don’t want her to be jealous of the baby, Dean. She’s always been your little princess.”

“I know, and she always will be. I love that kid. No one could ever take her place.”

Castiel managed to push himself up on his toes with a bit of effort and planted a sweet kiss on the tip of Dean’s nose.

“I know you do, but I’m not the one you need to say it to.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Gabriel was just finishing up some paperwork when he saw a delicate shadow flit behind the door. He knew it was Grace without even looking up. She was hovering outside his office and pacing backwards and forwards, another gesture she inherited from her father. Gabriel knew he and Sam would never be able to have children, and that was perfectly okay. Sam was worth it, and Gabriel had almost taken Grace on as his own. She was particularly close to him. She could tell him anything and he would never betray her confidence, and he always had a pocket full of candy.

Gabriel gave her a few more seconds. He managed a smile when he pushed the files aside, making a valiant attempt to look surprised to see her when he pulled the door open. She didn’t waste any time saying hello and sat down on his desk with a bump.

“He’s impossible.” She sighed, tapping her fingers along the edge. “I heard them talking. They wanna send me to Grandma’s for the summer.” Gabriel hesitated. He didn’t want to put her off the idea completely, but he really didn’t want to undermine Dean either. It wouldn't be right.

“But you like Grandma.” Gabriel offered. He knew it had the desired effect when the lines of indignant outrage slowly disappeared.

“I know, but it just feels like they don’t need me here anymore. Don't want me.”

“Of course they do.” Gabriel gasped in surprise. “Why on earth would you think that?”

“I’m not stupid. They’re determined to get me out the way so they can spend all their time with the new baby. Why would they even want another one at their age, anyway?” She added, with a little click of her tongue. It sounded much harsher than she intended but it was out now. Gabriel suddenly understood why she had changed so much recently. He carefully took one of her hands and gave it a gentle squeeze. She was jealous and just needed a bit of attention.

“You know, I once told Uncle Sam that Daddy and Papa would never stop at one pup. I saw the way he looked at you when he held you in his arms. You were everything to him. I know you were one hell of a surprise, but you were something special they made together when everything else seemed hopeless.” Gabriel was silent for a second when memories of the past drifted to the surface of his thoughts. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe they all managed to come out of such a mess unscathed. He pushed most of it away and turned his attention back to Grace. The less she knew about those days the better, but it had made him think about how much Dean and Castiel had gone through to be together. “As nauseating as it is for me to pass this on, your father loves my brother with a passion I've never seen in anyone, before or since. Not even Uncle Sam, sadly.” He suddenly laughed. Grace’s eyes were now sparkling at her parents sharing a love like that. She never once doubted their devotion to each other.

“But they’re _in_ love. There’s a difference.”

Gabriel wondered how someone so young could manage to be so perceptive.

“Not that I’m speaking from experience, but I don’t think anything could ever compare with the love you have for your child.” Gabriel imagined she had already started on the book Dean gave her. There was no way she came to that conclusion on her own. “You read about the pair-bonds, didn’t you?”

Grace nodded.

“Is that why they can’t stay away from each other for very long?” Dean and Castiel still found it difficult to be separated, and Grace had begun to want answers to questions about some of the things she read in the lore book.

“I think so.”

“Maybe I should leave. Try to find a special mate like Daddy did… just run away.” She added absently. Gabriel felt a cold warning twist inside him. Her casual dismissal of something so serious made him angry.

“Haven't you understood anything I told you about that? Running away never solved anything, not really. I know Castiel forgave me a long time ago but guilt like that never completely leaves you.” Grace bit into her lip. She suddenly remembered why Gabriel might take offense at that. “And you’re not like Papa.” He added. “You don’t need to hide.”

“That’s not the point, and he shouldn’t have had to either.”

Grace understood him perfectly and could read her uncle like a pro.

“I know that now.” Gabriel said quietly, gaze faltering. “But you’re much younger than they were when they met, and your father spent many years looking for a male omega. Of course you need to get out and see the world, but not yet.” He looked back up into green eyes. “He would never tell you - but he’s scared, Grace. I’ve known your father a long time, and I’ve seen how he is when he has no control over something that means a lot to him. You’re still his little girl, and no one would ever be good enough for you, anyway.”

“Surely that should be my decision to make.”

Gabriel almost laughed.

“It should, but we are talking about the same Dean Winchester here, right?” He gave her a sideways glance. “Insanely protective, possessive, inflexible and as stubborn as they come?”

“Yep, that’s the one.”

Their gentle laughter faded into easy silence until Gabriel spoke again.

“Your father loves you, Gracie.”

Her mouth was starting to fill out into a little pout. She only ever heard one side of that story at home, and never once got the impression either of her parents still blamed Gabriel for what happened.

“But you did what you thought was best for Papa, didn’t you?

“I did, and now I’m doing what I think is best for you. You would break his heart.”

Α ✫ Ω 


	64. Time Stamp 2

Grace sat in silence for several long minutes while Gabriel resumed his paperwork. He decided to try his hand at a bit of reverse psychology and strategically left her to think hard about what he said. She was right though, her life was her own and she should be free to make her own decisions, but she was still so young. Dean and Castiel always did their best to keep her safe from a world that was never particularly kind to them while they struggled to make a life together and refused to let anything tear them apart. He wasn’t exactly an authority on teenage angst, but Gabriel was smart enough to realize if he tried to make her stay, she would probably do the exact opposite. He really didn’t like the idea of Dean holding him responsible for letting her go when it had taken him so many years to earn his trust. Protective Dean was bad enough, but a pissed off and broken-hearted Dean was something Gabriel never wanted to see again.

Dean wanted Castiel to rest as much as he could while he had the chance, persuading him to go back to bed after Sammy called through the door and told them Grace wasn’t in her room. Dean made the decision to take the boys out to help find their sister. Castiel knew deep down she wouldn’t have gone very far and happily retreated back to the soft comfort of their bed. He kissed Dean goodbye with the promise he was bound to feel much better when the baby was born and even tormented him with a few explicit details of how they could make up for the lack of sex that had been all too apparent over the last few weeks. Dean just laughed and told Castiel all of that was nothing compared to what he was going to do to him first after the pup came, adding a low growl of desire that vibrated over Castiel’s skin when he leaned in. Castiel let Dean lap a tender caress across his fading scar before helping him to lay back on the bed. The vision beneath him was almost too much to resist, and Dean had to physically pull himself away from such luscious temptation when he heard his son call out to him again.

Dean still couldn’t seem to settle after seeing the look in his daughter’s eyes before she turned and walked away from him. He didn’t really want to leave Castiel alone now he was so close to delivering, but he would probably be alright inside the safety of their little home for a few minutes. Dean swallowed his pride and went to look for her with the boys tagging along behind him like little shadows. He loved Grace so much, Dean even managed to subdue most of his natural instincts over the years. Those that pushed him to dominate everyone he cared for. Castiel would sometimes shamelessly encourage him if they were alone, and he wanted to provoke his alpha into nipping him again. Dean always had Grace's best interests at heart, unable to resist the temptation to try and talk her round. Something had been lost along the way between them and it drenched him with sadness. When she was little there was always a look of adoration reflected in her eyes whenever she looked up at him, filling his heart with something so wonderful it made being a father one of the most rewarding experiences of his life. He would never be able to explain to Castiel just how grateful he really was for their beautiful children.

It brought him back to the last conversation they shared earlier that morning. Dean only wanted Castiel to be happy. He wasn’t the same fragile omega he met as a young alpha and Dean knew despite his protests, Castiel deliberately held something back when he mentioned the new pup. Dean tried to come up with something he could do to show his mate he was still completely in love with him and always would be, no matter how many children they had to devote their time to. Dean had been thinking for a while they should renew their vows, and now they had the pups it seemed even more important to do something to show their lifelong commitment to each other. Castiel would never want to do that while he was heavily pregnant and over-sensitive, so Dean planned to surprise him with the romantic gesture when he least expected it. Castiel even struggled with bending over properly now. The most he could manage was a tentative waddle that made Dean smile every time he looked at that divine image of Castiel loaded with his pup. Even with the alpha instincts that drove him to keep breeding, Dean accepted the unborn baby should definitely be their last. He hadn’t missed the lines of exhaustion developing around Castiel’s eyes while their unexpected miracle grew inside him. Dean would have to make sure he was even more careful when they made love again. The demands of his unfulfilled rut were still surging through him, the need to impregnate a submissive omega forcing him to stay awake at night. There was a limit to the stress his mate’s delicate body could take and neither of them were getting any younger. Something about the look in his eyes just before Dean closed the bedroom door made him feel terrible. He shouldn't have asked if he was really happy Dean got him pregnant again. He knew Castiel would do anything for him.

All those thoughts soon left him when he stepped outside and realized Grace was nowhere to be seen. Dean locked the memory inside his heart for later while he petted Sammy’s hair, and they both followed him up to the house in search of their sister. Dean called out her name while he walked over the lawn with Sammy and John in tow, each of them shouting out small echoes behind him. Grace had long since grown out of playing hide and seek, and guessed right she had probably gone to find her Uncle Gabriel. When they opened the door, Tyke seemed to be convinced she might make her way back to the kitchen and sat himself down with a tub of Gabriel’s ice cream and a spoon that was far too big for his little hand. Grace jumped up from her perch in Gabriel’s study when she heard Dean calling for her to come down. Gabriel gave his niece an affectionate peck on the cheek. He sent her on her way with a pat of encouragement, deliberately ignoring the way she rolled her eyes in despair when she realized she was cornered and was going to have to talk to him.

Gabriel’s fond smile disappeared when she headed out the door. That she would even think about running away filled him with a dread he couldn’t ignore. Memories of his own youth still quietly haunted the darkest parts of his mind. Gabriel didn't think it would ever completely leave him. He still looked pained long after Grace started to descend the stairs. Thinking she would be better off trying to find her own way in the world made him feel sick. He and Sam had grown very close over the years but there were some things still buried deep inside. Some he couldn’t even share with someone he loved as much as he had grown to love Sam. Gabriel never let on, but he still woke up every morning with the pain of understanding exactly how it felt to know someone he loved was out there somewhere. Grace one day making that choice herself would pull at his conscience with a vengeance.

He went to find Sam. Predictable as ever, he was sitting in their bedroom with his computer on his lap and tapping away at the keyboard. Sam decided to write his own book on the dynamics of alpha lore, now reviewing all the information he collected over the years. He found an unlikely contact a couple of weeks before that made him believe they might finally have come across a potential omega like Castiel in a facility upstate, but he was only a young boy and had a troubled past. He showed similar A-type traits and was highly phobic. As soon as Gabriel found out about the discovery, he had his heart set on helping him. Sam was still doubtful, mainly about the amount of red tape they needed to go through just to be able to visit him. He was convinced this boy was something they'd never come across before, and Gabriel saw something there he longed to make right. With Sam by his side there was nothing he couldn’t do, but sometimes he felt more lost for answers when it came to his own family. Dean would hunt Grace down with his last breath, but that would mean Castiel would be alone again. The demands of their pair-bond had tempered with time but there was still a powerful force that drew them together. Castiel would be terrified of having the baby without him. He probably didn’t know he still needed Dean as much as he did, and Gabriel was determined not to let something like that be put to the test while his brother was heavily pregnant and defenseless again. 

Grace slowly walked down the steps, but she couldn’t quite look her father in the eyes. He didn’t wait for her to say anything and gently tried to coax her even closer by holding out his hand to help her manage the last few. She took it with a sigh. Dean wasn’t even angry anymore. He smiled at her.

“I want to say something Gracie, and I want you to listen.” Dean said calmly. “I don’t want us to be mad at each other about stuff that isn’t worth fighting over.” Grace finally glanced up at him and chewed on the inside of her cheek. “Baby, nothing you could do would ever make me love you any less, and you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. Me and Papa love you, no matter what you think.” Dean added quickly, when her eyes flickered with doubt. “You've always been our special little miracle, and don’t you ever think that doesn’t mean something.” He saw her lip start to tremble when she looked away again. “Being an alpha isn’t always easy. It makes you responsible for those you love. I just wanted you to understand that, and how important family is to me. My family.”

“But I want to see that for myself. I don’t know yet if I want to spend my whole life being responsible for someone else like that.”

“But when you love someone as much as I love Papa, then you don’t see it as a responsibility. It's an honour. I have never wanted to spend a single minute away from him, and one day you might feel the same.” Grace nodded gently and Dean knew she was crumbling. “I’ve always known fate brought us together so you could be born, and there hasn’t a day gone by when I haven’t been thankful for you.”

“Oh, Daddy.” Grace forced out a broken gasp when Dean held out his hands to hold her. Two heavy drops spilled from her eyes. She flung herself into his waiting arms and wept against his chest. “I thought you didn’t want me anymore.” Dean cuddled his daughter close while her sobs faded away. 

“You know what, sweetheart.” He said quietly, letting her wipe the tears on his shirt. “You don’t need to worry about the new baby. You'll always be my little girl.” Dean wasn’t ashamed to admit there was a special place in his heart that could never be filled with anything but the love he had for his first born pup.

They stayed up at the house much later than intended, and as usual the boys wanted to sleep over. Gabriel had kept a close eye on Grace since their conversation in the study and he was still concerned his time might be running out to convince her to stay. He had no idea what she shared with Dean and was desperate to persuade Grace not to abandon a family that loved and cared for her so deeply. Dean would never be able to understand, and his brother didn’t need the stress right now.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel made a half-hearted attempt to get up again while he waited for Dean to come home, staring aimlessly out the window for almost an hour. The sickness had faded after a while but there was a familiar ache in his back that wouldn’t go away. He was sure the baby had suddenly dropped low in his stomach, and the need to pee every fifteen minutes was bordering on ridiculous. Castiel didn’t know Gabriel had taken the opportunity to get Dean working on filing some of the Foundation invoices and Grace already promised to settle the boys before she left. Castiel still hated being away from Dean and tried to distract himself by rearranging the nursery. Some of the baby stuff was still locked away in the loft and hadn’t been touched since Tyke outgrew most of it. Castiel soon got bored of waiting and pushed at the hatch. Even on the ends of his toes he wasn’t quite tall enough, so he dragged over a chair and climbed on top of it. He reached up with searching fingertips to try and ease it free. He managed to shift it along one edge, but stretched just a little too far, crying out in distress when he realized he was going to fall. Castiel scrambled to grab for the wall when he lurched towards it, but his legs slipped out from under him and he tumbled from the chair, landing on the floor with a sickening thud.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean finished up as quickly as possible so he could go check on Castiel and see if he was up, starting to feel the pull of longing to be next to his mate again. His heart felt much lighter after his conversation with Grace, and he left her to make her own way back when she was ready. Dean called out to Castiel when he pushed open the door, but he didn’t answer so Dean thought he must have decided to make the most of the peace and quiet and stay in bed. He detoured to the kitchen to make Castiel a snack to perk him up a bit, smiling to himself at the thought of his pregnant omega curled up in bed, warm and safe. 

“You up yet, babe?” Dean shouted down the hall. The front door slammed behind him. The house was strangely quiet without the children running around and Dean paused for a few seconds before he tried again. “Cas?” Dean tipped his head to one side to listen, waiting for a reply that never came. “Hey, Cas?” Dean called him one last time before he gave up, but the persistent silence started to make him uncomfortable. He suddenly felt unnaturally cold in the space over his heart. A warning gripped at his throat like something was pulling him back. An impulse to find him. Dean couldn’t explain it, but everything felt wrong. He dropped the plate with a crash and bolted out the room and back down the hall.

Dean found Castiel lying motionless with his eyes closed. The warm spread of fluid soaking through his shorts was an obvious sign his waters had broken and the pup was coming but Dean still couldn’t get him to wake up. He shook him gently, fumbling to find a pulse when panic started to rise up through his chest. Castiel was out cold. Dean didn’t know what to do, or how long his poor baby had been lying there all alone like that. If he moved him he could risk the pup, but he couldn’t leave the man he loved unconscious in a sticky pool of blood and slick. Dean made an impulsive decision and slipped both arms underneath Castiel’s back. He carefully lifted him off the floor, propping Castiel against his body and kissing him gently on the cheek. Dean whispered everything was going to be alright. Castiel couldn’t hear him.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel woke up in hospital with a drip in his arm and someone holding his hand. His eyes flickered open slowly to see Dean leaning over him. Grace came into view when Castiel turned his head. He heard her crying. She was almost inconsolable, consumed by guilt and convinced if she hadn’t run off, Dean would have stayed with Castiel and he wouldn’t have been left alone. She sobbed until her cheeks were wet, hugging him as tightly as she dared while she begged her Papa for forgiveness for being so thoughtless.

Castiel just smiled softly at her. He managed to sit up and shuffle along the bed a bit. She saw him flinch in pain where his arm was wrapped in a sling. She saw the fear in her Daddy’s eyes when he stretched over the bed and twisted Castiel’s hand in his own, gripping it so hard it almost cut off the circulation. There were also a few raw lines of abrasions across his cheek and down one side of his neck where he had collided with the wall. Someone had made a spirited attempt to patch them up with a row of steri-strips, but it didn’t make it look any better and Dean felt sick when he thought about what might have happened if Castiel had landed on his stomach.

“Dean, I’m fine.” Castiel said weakly, stroking his thumb over Dean’s hand. It didn’t seem to have the slightest effect on the death grip around his fingers or the depth of worry on Dean's face when he realized just how close he came to losing either one of them. The pup was in distress and lucky to have held on for as long as it had. Now they had no choice but to wait and hope, or to get it out and risk the consequences. Most of the amniotic fluid keeping the baby safe inside him had leaked out from a small rupture when he'd hit the floor. The risk of infection was increasing with every minute that passed. Castiel knew Dean well enough to know he would soon be uncontrollable if he let all his frustration free. The midwife caring for him told Dean she was surprised the impact of the accident hadn’t set his labour off already and insisted they should do a scan just to make sure they were both alright. Dean reluctantly stepped away and let her take his place by Castiel’s side. He watched her closely while she gently lifted up the gown so his round stomach was completely exposed.

Grace reached for Dean’s hand when the transducer was held just over Castiel's swollen belly, recoiling at the touch of the cold probe against his skin. Dean saw the flutter of a tiny shape slowly appear on the monitor. It seemed so small and helpless, but there was nothing he could do but wait. The detail was hazy and the movements were faint, but that didn’t stop his eyes from filling with tears while he watched his little pup trying desperately to hold on to life.

Α ✫ Ω 


	65. Time Stamp 3

The nurse smiled down at Castiel while she carefully took off the machine, giving his stomach a quick wipe to remove some of the excess gel.

“Well, the heartbeat is much stronger than I expected. You’re very lucky, Mr. Winchester. A fall like that could have been a lot worse, but other than being a bit small, I think she looks okay.”

“She?” Dean echoed quietly, squeezing Castiel’s fingers a little harder than he should. The midwife laughed and gave the hand that wasn’t attached to Dean a little pat where it was resting on top of the sheet. 

“Well, I’m no doctor but I would say the lack of dangly bits would suggest he’s carrying a little girl.” It took Dean a few seconds to register. Castiel’s gut feeling about the sex of their pup had now been confirmed, and it was more than enough to send the water brimming in his eyes spilling over the edge. It dropped heavily down both cheeks when Dean realized he was going to have another baby girl to love. It had been such a long time since Grace was small enough to want him to call her his princess. Castiel looked over at their daughter.

“You hear that, sweetheart? You’re going to have a little sister.” Grace wiped at her eyes, and smiled wide through the drying tears. She had spent her entire life surrounded by testosterone and now she was going to have an entirely new experience. Even with brooding teenage angst aside, she had to admit that was pretty cool.

“A baby sister.” Grace breathed in amazement, leaning down to give her papa a tender kiss. “Awesome.” Dean couldn’t stop a smile from shining through. She was so much like him he didn't know why he was mad with her in the first place. He often wondered how someone like him had managed to sire such a beautiful daughter. “Daddy.” She whispered, turning back to Dean. “I’m so sorry I’ve been such a bitch lately.”

“Grace!” Castiel chided. Just because it was true didn’t make it okay for her to cuss in front of him. He wasn’t really surprised she knew words like that, let alone have the skill to use them so perfectly in context. Dean laughed under his breath, snapping his mouth shut when he noticed Castiel was glaring at him.

“I get it, kid.” Dean replied. “You had a lot on your mind… it’s forgotten.” Something suddenly came to him when he thought about how they might help her to feel a bit more involved with the new pup. “Tell you what, baby." Dean added. "How ˈbout you choose a name for her?”

“Really?” Grace asked excitedly, both of them looking to Castiel for approval. He was smiling at Dean with so much adoration in his eyes, it made them sparkle. Dean really was the best husband and father to his children he could ever have hoped for. Dean winked at him. 

“Well, I’m completely out of relatives to name one of our pups after, so why don’t you just settle on one? I trust you.” Grace absolutely loved the idea, already running over some possibilities in her head. As much as she loved her brothers, she had been shadowed by the little monsters for so long the idea of another girl running around the house made her very happy. 

“Thank you, Daddy." Grace replied. "I promise to pick something pretty.” Dean closed his eyes when she suddenly threw herself forward, wrapping both arms tightly around his neck. She sat down in his lap and rested her head on his shoulder. Dean planted a kiss in her hair before she soon jumped back up so her parents could have some much needed time together. Grace followed the midwife back out into the corridor and absently picked up a magazine from the table in the waiting room.

Dean and Castiel were finally left alone. Castiel could almost hear his own heart beating.

“Hey.” Dean was just staring down at him with so many emotions lining his face, Castiel wasn’t sure he really knew what to say.

“Hey.” Castiel replied softly, gazing up at Dean for a few seconds before he spoke again. He was worrying the skin of his lip between his teeth when he thought about how his impatience had almost cost them something so precious. It made him realize how much he wanted to welcome the new baby into their family, accident or not. Dean was right. It was meant to be. He let his alpha settle next to him on the bed. Dean smothered him with a desperate embrace when another surge of guilt washed over him, covering Castiel with many little kisses until he was certain he got the point across. “Dean, I’m so sorry.” Castiel whispered into his shoulder. “I should have waited for you to come home.”

“Shh. It’s alright, baby. Everything’s alright. I’m here now.” Dean cradled Castiel’s head against his chest and played with the strands of hair at the back of his neck. “Cas, it’s me who should be sorry. I know it’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have left you alone for so long.” Castiel made a weak noise against his body where he was pressed in close. Dean knew he was trying to defend him, but he still felt completely responsible and nothing Castiel could say would have made that alright. “I fucking hate being away from you anyway, but I got caught up in doing something for Gabe.” Dean murmured against Castiel’s cheek, trying not to think about how dangerously close they came to losing the pup. “If anything happened to either of you, I would never forgive myself.”

They held on to each other for a long time, fairly sure the danger had passed. Dean eventually pulled away, giving his husband one last kiss before he stood up. He kept hold of Castiel’s hands while he stepped back from the bed, reluctant to let go.

“S'pose I better take Gracie home and check on the boys.” Dean sighed. The last thing he wanted to do was to leave Castiel on his own again, but he knew a labour ward was no place for their daughter. He wanted to get her settled in with Sam and Gabriel before he was called back to the hospital. Dean sensed the midwife’s concern, no matter how hard she had tried to hide it. He was expecting to be a father again before the night was over. Castiel gave him a smile that made Dean tingle with the thought of what he intended to do when he got them both home. “I’ll see you soon, okay?” Dean smiled back, leaning over Castiel again. Saying goodbye with a gentle stroke of his tongue across Castiel's bottom lip. “And don’t think I’ve forgotten what you said to me, either.” Dean whispered, remembering his promise about how much Cas was going to make up for all the sex they missed. “Just you wait ‘til I get you home.” Dean suppressed the desperate need arousing his dominant alpha. Castiel just nodded, a hint of colour spreading across the top of his chest when he thought about what his mate was going to do to him after the pup was born. He really had to push some of those images out of his head before the midwife came back to check his vitals.

Dean left Castiel to rest while he took Grace home and went to see the boys. She offered to help Sam and Gabriel look after them so Dean could go back to the hospital. They all understood how scared Castiel would be if he was alone when he went into an early labour. No one wanted Dean to have that on his conscience as well. The doctor had examined Castiel and suggested their baby might be arriving earlier than expected, so it would be best if Dean didn’t go too far away. Castiel tried not to think about the prospect of another difficult birth ahead when he watched Dean leave.

Dean still felt horribly guilty. The accident could so easily have taken the pup away from them. The first thing he did when he got back to the house was to off-load it all on to his brother. Sam tried to comfort Dean by assuring him Castiel wasn’t so far off full-term anyway and it wasn’t like he'd never done it before, but Dean was still too emotional to let logic like that kick in. Gabriel almost pushed him out the door with a dismissive wave, telling him to go back to the hospital before Sam threatened to prove the point by making him trawl through one of his psychology manuals.

“Okay, okay… I’m going.” Dean soon gave in, affectionately kissing each one of his children in turn. The boys didn’t really understand what all the excitement was about and Tyke officially told him if the new pup was a girl, he had to send it back. Grace just picked up her brother and cuddled him with a knowing smile while she waved her father goodbye from the front step. Dean hardly had time to breathe before his cell was vibrating urgently in his back pocket. He grabbed for it, fumbling to answer the call when he saw Castiel’s picture flash up on the screen. He held it up to his mouth while he started to head back out again.

“Cas? You alright? Is it coming?” Dean was shouting into the phone before Castiel managed to get a single word out. When he heard him struggling to regulate his breaths through the speaker, Dean knew he had to get back to him as soon as he possibly could. “Hold on, baby. I’m coming right now. Cas?” Dean tried again, but Castiel could hardly form a coherent sentence.

“Hurry up.” 

The words were forced through a faint gasp. It was quickly followed by a muffled curse just before the line went dead.

“Cas?” Dean panicked. “Shit.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Castiel was already fully dilated, legs pushed all the way up to his chest when Dean burst into the ward like a hurricane and rushed down to the labour suite. He was desperate to reach Castiel and hold his hand to help him through the pain. Dean saw far too many people standing around his mate, and someone had attached all sorts of pads and wires to the curve of his stomach. Dean felt his heart stutter. He knew what it meant - the pup was in trouble. Castiel looked up at Dean with relief when he saw him, but there was a fear in his shining eyes he couldn't hide.

Castiel was wet with perspiration, pushing down hard with every contraction. Dean could see the skin on top of his belly pull tight when another one was just about to rip through him. He was completely exhausted, distress evident in the deep lines at each side of his mouth. Dean encouraged him with a patience even Sam would have envied, and eventually with a bit of medical assistance, the tiny baby slid out and was rushed over to the compression unit to suck out all the fluid that was stopping her from taking that first breath. The baby was smaller than anyone expected. Castiel’s age and the accident had made the labour much more difficult than it should have been. The pup would need to be closely monitored before they got the all clear to take her home.

Castiel was still on bed rest when Sam arrived. He brought Grace back with him when they heard the news that the baby had come early. She wouldn’t give him any peace until Sam promised to take his niece to see her little sister. Sam pushed his head through the door to see Dean staring down at his daughter, mesmerized while he watched her wide blue eyes flicker open and gaze up at him in awe. She looked just like Castiel. Sam knew the baby was premature, wondering if it was just his body’s way of showing Castiel he was lucky to have fallen for another little pup, one last time. Castiel had struggled to carry both girls to full-term. Maybe there was something hidden deep in his genetic make-up that meant at least one of their children would be an omega. Fate determined they would prove nature wrong and make sure Dean and Castiel would end up with four children, even though the last one really had been an unexpected surprise. Dean thought it was about time one of their children actually looked like Castiel, and instinctively knew she would one day present as an omega. He bounced his baby daughter in one arm and gave Sam and Grace a teary smile in greeting. He reached down to slip the other one around Castiel’s shoulders.

“Dodgy gene, my ass.” Dean looked so happy. “She’s beautiful, Cas.” Castiel always blushed whenever Dean made him feel special about being an omega, even after almost two decades together. Castiel was advised not to attempt any more pregnancies after such a terrible labour. It only made Dean feel even more guilty for knocking him up again in the first place. Castiel gently took the baby from him for a feed. Grace wiped away Dean’s tears with the edge of her thumb and told him she hoped she could find a love like theirs one day.

“Oh, that reminds me.” Dean said suddenly. He hurried back to the nurse’s station with Grace following behind to retrieve a present he left for Castiel behind the desk. One of the midwives smiled at him when she handed over a single rose with a length of pink ribbon wrapped carefully around the stalk so Castiel wouldn’t prick his fingers on the thorns. Grace clapped her hands together in delight and seemed to have had some sort of epiphany. She jumped up and down by his side.

“It's absolutely perfect.” She made a little gasp of satisfaction. “That’s just what I wanted.” Dean bit his lip and tried to let her down gently.

“Oh honey, this isn’t for you. It’s for Papa.”

Grace tipped her head back and laughed.

“I know that, Daddy. That’s not what I meant. I’ve been really trying to think of a flower name for the baby that reminds me of you two.” Dean stared back at her with a blank expression. "Rosie. Like I said - perfect." 

“That it is, Gracie." Dean's mouth slowly broke into a wide grin. "I love it. Let’s go deliver the news to Papa, and hope he likes it as much as we do.”

Castiel thought it would do very well, and Grace's reason for choosing such a beautiful name just made it even more precious. Castiel carefully removed the pup from his chest after she filled her tummy and handed little Rosie to her sister while Dean gave Castiel the rose and kissed him on the lips. Grace coughed, just to make sure they remembered she was still in the room.

“I think she likes me.” Grace said with a smile, letting the pup wrap her tiny little fingers around her thumb. Dean pecked her on the cheek and slid one arm around her waist while they both stared down in amazement at the new baby. He could almost see the wonder in her eyes when Grace opened up her heart to the tiny bundle. All the jealousy was gone forever when she first held her little sister in her arms.

“That love you feel for her.” Dean said quietly. “That’s how I felt about you the first time you did the same thing to me. I do love you, baby girl. So much.”

“I love you too, Daddy. I’m so sorry.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

A week after they all returned home, Castiel was almost completely recovered from his ordeal and Rosie was growing stronger by the day. Gabriel and Sam had spent the last few days organizing a trip to see the boy they were both desperate to help. They had finally been granted official permission to visit him the next morning. Gabriel was more nervous than Sam as they approached the entrance to the institution. There was security on the main door and a high fence that didn’t exactly help to ease Gabriel's anxiety. He had really only gone to support Sam in doing some research for his book, but he could almost feel the hopelessness in that place, his heart filling with sympathy for anyone trapped inside. The cold, clinical walls made him shiver while the guards checked their permits and allowed them to go inside. The boy was waiting for them behind a glass window. They soon discovered his name was Hunter. He looked up at them both with sad blue eyes when they sat down in front of him. Sam took out his notepad. The boy recognized him from the picture his care worker had shown him when they talked about that kind man who wanted to interview him for a very special book he was writing.

They spent many hours with him. Gabriel was unusually quiet while he listened to his story. It upset him very deeply that anyone so rare and vulnerable should be held in that terrible place at such a young age. He had no doubt he was a special omega like Castiel, really struggling to come to terms with what he was. It was like looking at a reflection of his brother and Gabriel's heart went out to him. Hunter just needed someone to understand him. After a few hours they offered their thanks and Sam told him they would come back, but he didn’t look particularly convinced. When they got outside, the fresh air hit Gabriel hard. He couldn't believe just how much that boy had got to him.

“Sam.” Gabriel murmured. “I want to help him. I want him to come home with us so we can keep him safe. Give him a chance for a life that isn’t viewed through a wall of glass.”

“I knew he had you from the minute you saw how much he looks like Cas.” Sam reached for Gabriel’s hands, making sure his mate was looking right into his eyes. “If that’s what you want, then I’ll be right there with you. Always.” Sam smiled.

“You really mean it?” Gabriel asked hopefully. “You would do that for me?”

“'Course I would, you ass.” Sam laughed. “I always felt kinda bad I couldn’t give you a child. I know how important it is for you alphas to sow your seed.” Gabriel glanced at him doubtfully. “Well, not quite the same thing, but you know what I mean.” Sam blushed, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. He leaned down to rest his head against Gabriel’s. Sam wrapped both arms around his waist and gave him a quick tug forward. “I know how much guilt you still have, even though you think you hide it.” Gabriel frowned at him. Sam had always managed to see through all his bullshit. “If you think it might help you and Cas to understand each other better, then who am I to stand in the way?” Gabriel stared up at Sam for a second, completely lost for words.

“I fucking love you, you know.”

“Yes, Gabe. I know.”

 Α ✫ Ω 

Gabriel and Castiel had a long talk that night about why he always felt so different. Castiel was amazed they had been looking for more A-types, and now they had someone else to care for and help Hunter be free of the fear that had shaped his life just like Castiel’s did. To take one in as their own made Castiel feel wonderful. 

Gabriel had no need to try and persuade Grace not to run away. She would stay with her family and be the best sister she could be. Gabriel had never been happier, and the son neither of them ever expected to have inspired him to expand the Foundation. He opened up a half-way house as a safe haven for young omegas who had no one else to care for them, until they were ready to go out and face the world. After Dean and Castiel renewed their vows with all of their pups as special witnesses, Gabriel set about adopting Hunter. Sam was by his side all the way, and even dedicated his lore book to him. It was published later that year and sold out within a few weeks. Dean could be trusted enough to manage the business on his own now, so Gabriel and Sam devoted all their spare time to running it. Making sure they found good homes for all the children who came into their care.

Gabriel knew everything that once tortured Castiel would never have the same impact on Rosie or Hunter. Grace even suggested maybe one day they could help others by speaking out for omegas through Gabriel’s contacts, making them proud of their heritage. Sam endured her with limitless patience. Rosie hadn’t even started teething yet, so it was probably a bit early to be hailing her as the next omega representative, but he humoured her anyway. Gabriel seemed determined to expand the Foundation until it was a nationally recognized institution. Knowing it had been set up by someone who once abandoned a young male omega to a loveless world was definitely not lost on him. Gabriel imagined his son might form an unlikely friendship with Rosie as they both grew into proud omegas who no longer had anything to fear. They could help each other to be strong, wanting to share their stories with others so the same thing could never happen to anyone again. People like them wouldn’t need to hide anymore. Grace already decided her priority was her family. As much as she liked the beta Dean approved of, they both knew she wasn’t ready for something like that and they eventually parted as friends.

 Α ✫ Ω 

Dean felt so much happier now he knew the little pup was alright, and he had made his peace with Gracie. There was only one thing still playing on his mind. When they were getting ready for bed, Dean just had to get it out. He held out his arms for the baby so he could set her down in the nursery for the night while he tried to think of the right words to explain how he felt. He wasn’t going to let Castiel suffer like that again, and their family was more than complete. The chance of his mate getting pregnant had diminished with time and his heats were much less frequent now, but Dean was adamant they should stop because of the risk. He quickly settled Rosie and headed back down the hall. He intended to speak to Castiel about it when he returned to the bedroom, but he was already stretched out across the covers and dripping in seduction. It had only taken one hint of suggestive mischief shining out through the deep blue of his eyes for Dean to be lost. Maybe they could have that conversation in the morning.

They hadn’t made love since the baby was born the week before. Dean could hardly keep his hands still while he spread them possessively over every inch of Castiel’s body, waiting far too long already to collect on that promise. Castiel was like putty in Dean’s hands with every demanding caress. He was soon lying on his back on top of their bed in an undeniably submissive posture that had Dean salivating before he even managed to clamber in between his thighs.

“Turn over and give me that pussy.” Dean growled against the skin of Castiel’s back. He flipped him over and dragged him up on all fours. Castiel willingly presented himself and Dean ignored any hint of foreplay when he gripped Castiel’s hips and let himself sink deep into the heat of his mate's body while his eyes fluttered shut.

Fuck - he had missed it.

Their mating cycles soon fell back together, compliments of their unbreakable pair-bond. Dean was just as lustful as he ever was when he knew Castiel was in heat. His ruts always started a few days before and the sex was better than ever, but they were always careful. 

Dean filled Castiel with a hot rush of release, pulling out quickly before he popped a knot. Dean snuggled up next to him and lovingly entwined their legs together, soaking in the beautiful warmth of Castiel’s body. There were no words to describe how much he loved him, but he said it anyway. Dean knew he would never stop trying to make Castiel happy while they watched their family grow together.

“I love you so much, Cas.” Dean breathed against his skin, holding his omega close while they melted perfectly together. “I hope I get to spend a lifetime wrapped around you like this.” Castiel sighed happily and closed his eyes. He knew that was the one wish he would always be able to make come true.

Α ✫ Ω 


	66. Last Act

Castiel was having real trouble sleeping lately. Dean was still dead to the world by his side. The dying heat of a summer evening slinking in through the window only made his whole body itch. Castiel knew he would never be able to get comfortable again and didn’t want to wake Dean, so he carefully slipped out of bed. Dean must have sensed him move in his sleep, pawing out for his mate in the dark. Castiel forced a smile no one could see. Dean always loved to spend the nights wrapped around his omega. Just to feel his warmth, smell the beautiful scent on his skin. Dean murmured Castiel’s name before shuffling over on to his back and drifting off again, sated and content.

Castiel quietly settled himself by the window. All he wanted was to feel the breeze caress his face. His cheeks were still flushed from sex. Suddenly coming over so faint, he had to tip his head against the glass. He could just make out the trailing shadow of the willow stretching across the moonlit lawn. Castiel hadn’t dared say anything to Dean, but he was getting worried. His heats had faded away to almost nothing after Rosie was born, like his body somehow sensed he was done pushing out pups. He took a nervous glance over one shoulder at his sleeping alpha, not sure why he couldn’t tell him how he felt. Dean was everything to him. It didn’t matter how many times he told Castiel how much he loved him, he had no value now. Being mated had shaped his identity for so long. He was Dean Winchester’s omega. Husband. Someone who gave his children life. Without that Castiel believed he was nothing. Dean always tried to make him feel wonderful, but he couldn’t change what he was. A strong alpha who needed a fertile young omega to breed. Nothing would convince Castiel otherwise while he felt so insecure, and he couldn’t ignore the signs any longer. His slick was drying up, scent fading with every year that passed him by. His body was changing for good, and Castiel was scared to death Dean wouldn’t want him anymore.

The house was unnaturally quiet without the children there to fill it with noise. The pups were growing up so fast. They were staying up at the house again, and Dean always took the opportunity to give Castiel a good seeing to. All of them except for little Rosie. She was almost two now but he couldn’t seem to let go. She was the baby, and there was just something about her that made Castiel more protective than he ever was with the others. He didn’t need a biology degree to guess why. Rosie looked exactly like him, but they wouldn’t know for sure until she presented, and that was many years away.

Castiel knew something inescapable was happening inside him. The last few nights he woke up every couple of hours. Drenched in sweat, heart pounding when he was forced from sleep by familiar nightmares he thought had been put to rest a long time ago. Remembering the horrible fear of being taken by a ruthless alpha. He hadn’t had one for so long, but now he was back to setting a pitcher of water by the bed, plagued by clawing restlessness in the dark. Lying awake and staring at the ceiling while he heard Dean breathing peacefully by his side. Suffocating dehydration used to mean his heat was coming in, but it was different this time. Faint and not nearly as potent as that delicious scent Dean set free with their first kiss. Heightened senses used to make everything so intense, but now he would jump at the slightest noise, constantly on edge while he pretended everything was okay so Dean could forget all the painful memories.

Castiel stared out into the darkness at the black clouds sweeping across the sky. A storm was coming, threatening to break up the heavy air. Castiel still didn’t like the rain, not realizing he was so emotional until he felt two warm tears drop slowly down his cheeks. Dean rolled over again, the empty space stirring him awake. He sat up with a start when he knew Cas wasn’t there, and flicked on the nightlight.

“Hey.” Dean propped himself up on both elbows, blinking sleepily in the half-light. “You okay?” He didn’t get an answer and Dean didn’t want to push it. Castiel was so sensitive lately, it didn’t take much to upset him. “Cas.” Dean sighed. “Come back to bed, babe. It’s cold without you.” Castiel turned to him with a sad smile. Dean could see he’d been crying, and it made his stomach turn over. He spent the last twenty years of his life trying to make his mate happy. “What’s the matter?” Dean hated it. Hated himself for not being able to calm him like he used to. “Is it me? Have I done something to make you mad?” The idea made him feel sick.

“Of course not.” Castiel shuffled around on the ledge. “I know you’re trying to make me feel better. You’ve always given me everything I could ever want.”

“What is it then?” Dean tried to stifle a yawn. He wanted to show his omega how much he cared, but he was still dog-tired from an exhausting performance. Castiel didn’t seem to notice.

“I just don’t feel right. I don’t know what it is.” Castiel never lied to Dean and it made him feel bad. He figured holding back some of the truth wasn’t quite the same. Many of his fears had returned with the last rush of heat. He knew his body was going through changes, but he tried to push the thought away. Strategically putting the hot flushes down to a budding midlife crisis. “I’ve just got some kinda empty nest thing going on. I’ll be fine.” That sounded stupid when he still had a toddler to look after, but he felt like he had to justify it somehow and scrambled to send Dean’s attention in another direction before he asked too many questions. “Probably just 'cause Rosie’s not really a baby now.”

“But you didn’t want anymore.” Dean’s head was staring to hurt. It was the middle of the night and he could hardly focus on keeping his eyes open, let alone have a meaningful conversation. He knew the last pup wasn’t exactly planned, and it took a near miss after the accident to make Castiel realize how much he wanted her, but they already decided to stop trying. Dean was right, but nothing anyone said could change how he felt inside. Castiel couldn’t shake the fear Dean wouldn’t feel the same once the omega hormones and mouth-watering slick were just an erotic memory. Everything that drove Dean’s alpha crazy was fading away and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“But what if you want that again one day?” Castiel tried hard to keep his voice steady, but Dean could hear it catch in his throat. “Someone who can give you what you need. What you deserve.”

“I already got it.” Dean wiggled his fingers towards him. “So come back to bed and I’ll show you exactly what you still do to me.”  


“I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Cas, come on. I’m awake now.” Dean was blinking at a blurry world, hair stuck up all over the place. He yawned so wide, Castiel could practically make out the back of his throat.

“Hmm. I can see that.” He turned back to the window, gazing up at the dark sky like he was waiting for the storm to break. Dean shifted on to his side and closed his eyes again, but he wasn’t that sleepy anymore. He felt completely lost lately. Castiel was hurting, but Dean didn’t know why or how to make it better.

Α ✫ Ω

Dean was alone when he woke up. He couldn’t remember Cas coming back to bed at all, and the sheets were still cold where his omega should have been. Dean stretched and forced himself out of bed, strolling over to the window and taking a peek outside while he pulled on some boxers and a t-shirt. The lawn was shining with moisture, water trickling from every drooping leaf. There must have been a hell of a downpour.

Dean went through to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. He called out for Cas while he moved back through the house, knowing so much rain would have put him in a twitchy mood. Dean was starting to notice how some of his anxieties had surfaced again since Rosie was born, but he never said anything. He didn’t want Castiel to think he had a reason to be worried. Every room was empty so Dean checked the nursery just in case, but the baby wasn’t there either so he drained his cup and reluctantly headed back to the bedroom to get a jacket. He hadn’t forgotten the look of crushing despair he saw on Castiel the night before and decided he had to find him. Dean wasn’t as stupid as some people thought he was, and it killed him how sad Castiel looked since he sort of admitted to feeling lost now the other pups were grown. It was true that beautiful omega scent was fading away, but Dean hadn’t the heart to tell him and it didn’t matter. He could still feel the golden glow of Castiel’s warmth whenever he touched him. Dean would always love him.

Castiel was so mad with himself for letting it get to him, and now Dean knew something was seriously wrong. Castiel once made a promise he would always be by his side. He meant that with everything he had and would never break it, but maybe one day Dean would need to move on. Forever was a long time.

Castiel’s special type meant he was made to have babies. Sam read as much in the lore book when Dean and Cas first met but so much time had passed, he didn’t expect anyone remembered. When Castiel sneaked a look at it that time he never shared what he read. He put it out of his head for years, but now his puppy-making days were coming to an end he felt like he outlived his usefulness. The memories had recently come flooding back, letting some of the old fears slowly creep in like a poison. Filling his mind with an insecurity he hadn’t felt since a handsome green-eyed stranger dropped off his mail one day. He needed to get away, just for a few hours, and left the house as soon as Rosie woke up with no idea where he was going.

Dean never looked at that book again since he passed it on to Grace. He didn’t feel like he needed to, knowing his pair-bond had been satisfied when he claimed Castiel. Dean never once doubted he found his true mate. He scoured the gardens before giving up and doing what he usually did when he felt fucking useless. He went to find Sam.

He was in the study working on a few additions to his book for a revised edition. Sam knew something was wrong when he saw the look in Dean’s eyes.

“Hey, Dean. Oh… you look - ” Sam paused, trying to find the right word.

“Worried?”

“Actually I was going to say like shit, but we can go with that if you want. What’s the matter? Is Cas okay?” Dean only ever looked that desperate when it was something to do with Castiel.

“That’s just it, I don’t know. I can’t find him. I thought he might be here.”

“Don’t think so. Gabe’s gone into town with Hunter, and I haven’t seen Cas since last night. You upset him again?”

“What you mean, again?” Dean took that one personally. Castiel might be a bit delicate lately, but Dean made damn sure he always did his best to be an awesome husband. Talking about Cas just made the ache worse, and Dean started to feel the familiar pull of longing that twisted in his stomach whenever they were apart. They never spent more than a few hours away from each other, and even then Dean was only in the city or up at Gabe’s working on business invoices. There was a void growing inside his heart with every minute that passed without Castiel hanging off him like an extra limb.

“Never mind.” Sam made a point of ignoring the biting glare and forced his attention back to the computer. “Just thought he’d been a bit off the last few days. Presumed you must have pissed him off.” Dean chewed the inside of his cheek. He didn’t think bullshit like that deserved a whole sentence worth of response, and just grunted at him. Sam let him sulk for a few seconds before changing the subject. “When you find him, can you ask him to pop over. I need to talk to him.”

“Why?” Dean’s hackles were up on end in a heartbeat, already on the defensive since Castiel just took off without a word of explanation. Sam pointed at the computer.

“For my book edits, Dean, don’t panic. I need a bit more information about A-types, and there’s no one better to ask.” Dean gave him a mumbled okay and stuck both hands in his pockets. “I know this has always been a very difficult concept for you to grasp, but not everything is about you.” Dean looked miles away. He probably wanted to talk, but Sam could see he would have to prod him unless they wanted to stare at each other for eternity. “C’mon.” Sam ditched his work and tapped Dean on the thigh. “What’s the matter? Maybe I can help.”

“It’s Cas.” Dean sighed, plonking himself down on the edge of the desk. Sam pressed his lips together to hold back a smile.

“Really? I never would have guessed. What happened?”

“I’m not sure, 'cause I was half-asleep last night when I caught him sneaking out of bed. He looked really upset, Sam. I don’t want him to be unhappy.”

“I didn’t know he was.”

“Hmm. I gotta find out what’s wrong so I can make it better. I don’t ever wanna feel like he’s drifting away from me.”

“You two can hardly leave each other alone for five minutes, Dean.” Sam comforted. “I wouldn’t worry about that.” He didn’t point out the obvious that Cas must have left Dean on his own all morning.

“Yeah.” Dean said thoughtfully, dragging up a happier memory to swamp out the sick feeling in his stomach. “I thought so too, but he’s not home now and he took Ro with him.”

“Weird.” Sam offered. That wasn’t like Castiel at all, and now he was getting concerned as well. “You tried calling him?"

“'Course. He didn’t pick up.”

Sam didn’t get a chance to say anything else. They both heard the front door slam. Gabriel’s voice drifted up from the hallway.

“We’ll talk about this later, Dean. I’ll send him a quick text and see if I get a reply.”

Hunter shouted hello up the stairs to Sam, but Dean’s head appeared instead. Gabriel had his arms full of bags. He really did spoil that boy. Hunter seemed surprised to see him, and just stood transfixed at the bottom of the steps while he watched Dean come down.

“Hey, kid.” Dean ruffled his hair when he walked past him.

“Dean.” Hunter blushed, giving his uncle a shy smile. Gabriel was watching his son with a frown. He usually hated that.

“Give me a hand putting some of this away.”

Hunter didn’t even glance at Gabriel. Something about the way he was staring up at Dean made him very uncomfortable.

“Go help your dad. I was just on my way home, anyways.” Hunter didn’t look like he was moving anytime soon, so Dean pulled Gabriel to one side. “You seen Cas, Gabe?”

“Not since last night. Why?”

Hunter was hanging on his every word. Dean didn’t want to worry them, so he shrugged it off.

“Nothin'. It’s nothing. I’ll catch you later.” Dean gave Hunter a little wink so he wouldn’t think anything was wrong and left the house with more questions than answers. Gabriel didn’t miss the way his son’s eyes followed Dean all the way down the path. Hunter suddenly blinked and rubbed at his face. He cried in pain when everything seemed too bright, flinching at the glare of sunlight. Gabriel dropped everything.

“You okay? What is it?”

“My eyes hurt.” Hunter complained. Gabriel tried to get him to open them so he could have a look, but the boy refused to let anyone touch him. He pulled away and ran upstairs to splash his face with cold water. Gabriel followed him and almost bumped into Sam as he was coming out the study.

“What’s going on?”

“You want me to call the doctor?” Gabriel asked anxiously, ignoring Sam completely.

“No.” Hunter murmured, working through a rush of strange sensations that were suddenly ravaging his body. “I’ll be alright. I just need to lie down.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Sam asked, giving him a quick once over. He was burning up, and both cheeks were pink.

“No idea.” Gabriel shook his head. “He was fine until a few minutes ago.”

Hunter disappeared into his bedroom and shut the door. Gabriel tapped on it and shouted his name a couple of times.

“Leave him, Gabe.” Sam squeezed Gabriel’s fingers before planting a little kiss on his cheek. “He’ll be alright. Let him sleep it off.”

“Suppose.” Gabriel said slowly, not convinced that was the best thing to do. “Maybe I should google it.”

“Gabriel.” Sam said firmly. He knew he wouldn’t see him for hours if he got on the computer and Sam wanted his mate all to himself for a bit. They hadn’t seen each other since breakfast, and he needed a cuddle. “He’s seventeen. Leave him to spend some quality time with his hormones in peace.”

“Sam.” Gabriel kept glancing back to the bedroom door. “He might be sick.”

Sam imagined it was more likely he was going through some kind of subconscious response to whatever happened before they got home. Something must have set him off. Sam couldn’t detect any change in his scent. It wasn’t really surprising for a beta. He wanted to ask Gabriel if he thought there might be more to it, but he would only get hysterical if Sam even hinted at what he really thought. He suspected their son was a special A-type like Cas, but no one really knew how to tell them apart from other omegas. He remembered once telling Dean they would have to be naked or pregnant to be sure, and neither of those was likely to happen any time soon, so he went on gut instinct instead. Hunter would have the same vasopressins if he was, but Gabriel would never agree to him being subjected to a probing examination. The only thing Sam had to work with was knowing those chemicals somehow controlled social behaviour. An alpha scent mark could make the androgynous ones fertile, but he decided not to drop that reminder on Gabriel just yet. Only those particular omegas had them, and Sam was still blissfully unaware Hunter had taken a sudden liking to his Uncle Dean.

“Maybe. Did anyone touch him? Bump into you at the mall or something? Think, Gabe.”

“What the hell has that got to do with anything?”

“Humour me.”

Gabriel closed his eyes, desperately trying to backtrack. There was nothing that stood out.

“I can’t remember Sam, sorry.” Gabriel sighed, never making the connection Dean petted him before he left.

Α ✫ Ω

Dean almost collapsed with relief when he opened the back door. He could hear Castiel talking to Rosie in the kitchen while he made her a snack. Dean was so happy to see him, he couldn’t even get mad for being ditched all morning.

“Cas.” Dean rushed up behind him and pulled Castiel into a crushing hug. “I missed you, baby. Where were you? I called like a hundred times.”

“Yes, Dean. I know.” Castiel let Dean caress his butt, but he didn’t hug back. He didn’t mean to be so cold, but it helped to dull the pain. Castiel was trying to prepare himself for the day Dean would cast him aside.

“Well, why didn’t you answer? I was worried sick.”

“I just needed to be alone for a bit, clear my head. Sorry. I should have let you know.”

“Damn straight, you should.” Dean wished he could take that back as soon as it was out. Castiel didn’t need a possessive alpha getting all up in his face the second he got home. Dean forced his instincts down. “Cas, if you felt like that, you could have left Ro with me.” Dean tickled the baby’s cheek. “We woulda been fine, wouldn’t we, sweetheart?” Rosie grinned at him and reached out two little arms for her daddy. He picked her up and gave her a snuggle.

“I only came back because Sam texted me, and your daughter needed feeding.” Castiel said quietly. “He thinks there’s something wrong with Hunter. Sam asked me to go over and check on him in a bit. He persuaded Gabe to take him out for lunch.” Dean pulled a face.

“But I just saw him, he was fine.”

“I don’t want to argue about it. I’m just telling you what he said, Dean.” Castiel still seemed so distant. All Dean wanted was to hold him close, but he didn’t think he could handle another brush-off. “I have to report back when they get in. Honestly, I could do without it.” He tutted. “I still have so much to do today. I was hoping to have a couple of hours free when Rosie goes for her nap.”

“It’s fine, Cas. I can go.” Dean offered. It was the least he could do while Castiel caught up on a few chores.

Gabriel had taken Sam into town for their weekly date while Hunter was still in bed. They didn’t really want to leave him on his own for long, but trusted Castiel to keep an eye on him. Dean left him to settle the baby and headed back to the main house. Gabriel usually left it unlocked so the pups could roam about, but Dean hadn’t seen his other children all day either. Gracie must have taken the boys out somewhere. Dean crept up the stairs in case Hunter was still asleep. He couldn’t go back with details if he wasn’t sure the boy was alright, so he carefully pushed the door open and poked his head through the gap to see if he was definitely still breathing.

“Dean.” Hunter gasped in surprise, like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t. He shuffled about and pulled both hands out from under the sheet. Dean saw his cheeks heat up. “I was just thinking about you.” Dean didn’t click.

“You alright, kid? Sam told us you were sick.”

Hunter suddenly sprang out of bed and threw both arms around him. Dean didn’t know where to put himself. The boy had never been that affectionate with him before.

“I’m okay now you’re here.” Hunter was so soft and warm. Dean could feel the heat coming off his body, and he smelled divine.

“What’s got into you today?” Dean managed a stiff laugh, trying to prise rigid fingers from the back of his neck. Hunter suddenly closed in like he was being jerked on an invisible thread. Watching himself from some distant perspective with no control over his instincts when he reached up to run both hands slowly down Dean’s chest. Fingertips tracing every bump of his ribs while they moved lower, finally settling on the bottom of his stomach. “Whoa.” Dean panicked, stumbling backwards to put some distance between them. “You don’t need to be touching me down there.” Hunter looked painfully confused, surprised by the fresh burst of alpha arousal that drifted into his space. Dean saw Hunter’s eyes fill up at the rejection, but he couldn’t seem to move away. He was staring intently at the curve of Dean’s mouth when his tongue slipped out to wet his bottom lip. Hunter pushed himself up and touched their lips together before Dean realized what was happening. He wiped one hand across his mouth. “Just back up a bit there, buddy.”

“I’m so sorry.” Hunter panted, trying to back away and not actually getting very far. “I can’t seem to make it stop.” He looked like he was going to cry, and all Dean could see was a scared little boy who had no idea what to do with all those hormones. Dean didn’t think it was a good idea to touch him again, but he suddenly felt very protective when those big blue eyes started to shine with tears.

“It’s okay.” Dean murmured, completely out of his depth. “No harm done. Maybe you should talk to Cas. He knows what it’s like to be a - ”

“No.” Hunter stopped him, eyes wide with alarm. He buried his face in his hands, shoulders shaking. “I can’t. I don’t want him to hate me.”

“Hey, c’mon.” Dean felt awkward as all hell, but it wasn’t the kid’s fault he was an omega. He tried to console him from a safe distance, but it soon went to shit when Hunter melted against him, gentle sobs quickly drying up when a strong alpha was wrapped around him. “Cas loves you.”

“Do you?” Hunter hesitated, just for a second, before taking the chance to slink one hand underneath Dean’s t-shirt. “Love me, I mean.”

Dean wasn’t going to answer that when the boy was rubbing up against him.

“Listen, kid.” Dean said slowly. “I don’t know where you think this is going, but it’s not gonna happen.”

“I know.” Hunter was still trying hard to pull away, but he kept being lured back. “I didn’t mean that.” All he could do was tell Dean how sorry he was for making a move on him, but his body was saying something else. Dean was in the middle of a rut, and fresh pheromones dripping from Hunter’s first slick sat on his tongue like little drops of nectar. He was far too close again, and Dean had to get away before something unforgivable happened. Dean scrambled to drag himself free and bolted from the bedroom, desperate to make it outside for a mouthful of fresh air. He practically ran all the way home, staggering across the lawn. The need to get some relief from the itch inside him was driven by pure instinct. He shot through the door and stumbled down the hallway to their bedroom. Castiel was leaning over the bed and tidying away the laundry while Rosie had a little sleep. He glanced over his shoulder just in time to see Dean make a grab for him. Castiel opened his mouth to ask if everything was okay, but he never got a chance. He thought Dean was still mad with him for disappearing, but what he saw in his eyes was something else. Dean looked so wild, Castiel knew what was coming and it made the words stick in his throat.

Dean growled low and dipped his head, pushing his mate back towards the bed. He tugged at his belt with one hand while he flipped Castiel over the edge, his face pressing hard into the covers. Castiel tried to reach him, frantically calling his name when he felt his shorts being yanked down.

“Cas… I just need it so bad.”

“Okay… okay, Dean but wait.” Castiel gasped. “Just wait a minute… let me get slicked up.” Dean had never been so rough before and it took Castiel’s breath away. He always let his alpha take him. It was his duty as an omega, but all Dean had to do was ask. Castiel could feel his heart start to thump at the sting of a slap across his ass cheek, grabby fingers digging into his flesh. Castiel closed his eyes and twisted the sheet in his hands. “It’s okay, Dean.” Castiel murmured. “It’s okay.” He dropped to his knees at the side of their bed. Whatever had suddenly taken Dean over so completely would be gone as soon as he was done and he didn’t want to wake Rosie. Dean couldn’t stop himself from getting what he needed, the desire for sexual release consuming everything else inside him. Dean snaked one arm up Castiel’s back, holding him down while he pushed in, already rigid and leaking. He fucked him hard from behind while his omega rode out every violent slam of his dick, waiting for the warm rush to fill his body. Dean was inhaling as much scent as he could just to make the ache go away, so aroused after a few thrusts, he could already feel his knot stretching inside Castiel. He groaned when he sensed it was about to pop. It was all over so quickly and Dean collapsed on Castiel’s back while he grabbed at his hips and forced their bodies together. He rubbed his face into Castiel’s hair, nipping at the fading scar on his shoulder. Castiel tensed, preparing for the inevitable pain of an alpha bite, but it didn’t come. Dean’s whole body seemed to sag, the instinctive need to breed an omega satisfied for now when he emptied himself inside his mate.

Castiel could feel the heat pumping into him while he just knelt there in stunned silence, trying to understand. Dean was mumbling apologies over his shoulder, all the burning desire now vanished without a trace. Dean finally came to his senses, circling his waist and dragging Castiel up, still buried deep inside his body. Dean flopped on to his back and covered his face with one arm. Castiel was still fixed around his dick, panicking when he heard Rosie start to stir. He couldn’t move at all for a few minutes, eventually forcing himself up and painfully tugging Dean’s knot free so he could go to the baby. She soon settled again and Castiel drew in a deep breath before going back to Dean. He wanted to believe it was a coincidence he’d been over at Gabe’s, but his heart warned him different. Dean usually kept his alpha so well under control, and Castiel felt physically sick when he sensed a familiar scent on Dean’s skin when he sat down next to him.

“I’m sorry, Cas.” Dean mumbled through his arm, ashamed he could do that to someone he loved so much just to get some release. Castiel almost didn’t recognize him. There was something so pitifully desperate about the way Dean looked at him when he finally slid his arm away.

“What happened?” He asked shakily. The feral look in Dean’s eyes before he forced Castiel over would be lodged in his memory for a long time. Dean sat up and dropped his head in his hands. There was no answer he could give that would justify it, so he kept quiet. He reached for Castiel’s fingers where they were still trembling in his lap. “You saw Hunter, didn’t you?” Castiel could smell him, and it blended so seamlessly with his own scent, it made him feel ill. “Can I ask you something?” Dean hadn’t let himself give in to his nature so shamelessly since he first tasted Castiel’s blood by the row of mailboxes all those years ago. Castiel never said anything before, but he saw the way Hunter gazed up at Dean lately when he thought no one was watching. Dean still couldn’t look Castiel in the eyes, and just nodded. “Are you attracted to him?”

Dean jerked his head up so he could give that the contempt it deserved.

“Cas. He’s just a kid.”

“He’s not a kid, Dean. He’s seventeen, and that’s not what I asked you.”

Dean let go of Castiel’s hands.

“Alright, fine. No, I’m not. That’s just fucking stupid.” Dean was a bit too quick to defend himself, and Castiel squinted at him. Dean already convinced himself he just missed Cas so much that morning, he needed to feel tight heat around him again. He felt bad enough without the death glare burning into his cheek. “Please don’t look at me like I’m a dick.”

Castiel’s body slowly relaxed, but his mind was racing.

“So, what the hell was that, then?”

“I don’t know. I just… I needed to knot you so bad.”

Castiel was still throbbing.

“Okay.” He murmured. There was little point in provoking him until he fessed up. Castiel was paranoid enough about the way Dean felt about him since the last pup came along. The way he pounded into him just then was so unlike him. Not sure anymore if he was really the one Dean needed to feel milking his dick. “Don’t be mad at him, Dean. I know what it’s like when you present.” Castiel said softly. He seemed to be taking it all pretty well considering, and no one said anything about presenting. Dean was actually a bit put out Cas wasn’t seething with jealousy. Maybe he really was losing him. “There’s a need to be mated that takes over. He can’t help it.”

“He’s got nothing to do with anything.” Dean sighed. Every word that came out of his mouth just seemed to be making it worse. “I never looked at anyone else, and I never will.” Castiel couldn’t even find it in him to reply. Dean wanted to see some spark there, something that meant he would hold on to what they had together until his last breath. All the fight was gone. “I know you don’t wanna hear this right now, but I knew from the beginning you were the one, Cas. The only one for me.”

“I know you did, but you don’t understand, Dean. Being an omega is hard. I tried not to let you in because I really thought you wouldn’t want me when you found out what I was. It doesn’t matter what anyone says, you always think you’re not worthy.” He didn’t tell Dean that’s exactly what the problem was now. “I don’t want someone I love to ever feel like that.” Dean wasn’t sure how everything had somehow descended into a defend Hunter campaign.

“Cas.” Dean looked close to tears. “You’re the most important thing in my life.” Castiel let Dean slip one arm around his shoulders. “I wanna know what’s wrong so I can make it right.” Castiel still couldn’t find the words to tell Dean how scared he was. Now he knew there was an unmated omega dangerously close, and he didn’t want Dean to blame Hunter for the way he was feeling. The fear had been inside him much longer.

“I’m fine, Dean.” Castiel lied, deliberately leaning into his embrace so he would stop asking. Dean didn’t believe it for a second.

“You know, I once asked you to give me a chance to prove I deserved you and it still stands, Cas. I don’t wanna lose you.” The pair-bond they shared once strengthened everything they were, but now he was struggling to work Castiel out at all. Dean didn’t tell him about the kiss.

Α ✫ Ω

Castiel muddled through the rest of the day. Dean tried to get him to talk that night while they got ready for bed, but he wasn’t very responsive. Castiel turned away to undress like he couldn’t stand his mate to see him naked anymore. Dean never wanted him to hide that perfect omega body. He loved every soft curve, the delicious swell of his hips. Castiel’s anxiety was forcing his mind into a perilous place, self-worth plummeting ever downwards. Dean had seen it all before, and years of showing his husband how much he valued him were now in danger of being pissed to the wind. Dean stroked his back when he sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Still beautiful, Cas.” Dean whispered. Castiel didn’t answer, but Dean was determined to dig himself out the massive hole he kept dropping himself into. “I meant what I said earlier. I’m gonna show you how much you mean to me.” Castiel climbed into bed and turned on to his side. Dean could practically feel the icy waves coming off him. “Babe?” Castiel eventually graced him with a hum. “I don’t want anyone else.”

“I’m tired, Dean.” Castiel mumbled into the pillow. “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“Cas.” Dean tried again. He was desperate to hold him. “You know what you did to me when we mated, what you still to do me.” Castiel was breathing deep, but Dean knew he wasn’t asleep and that made the silence hurt more.

Α ✫ Ω

Dean was up early with Rosie the next day. He wanted to let Castiel rest while the boys were still asleep, so it was just the three of them at breakfast that morning. Dean didn’t want Grace to know what her papa was going through, so he made an effort to smile, even though it felt like he was dying inside. Castiel always trusted Dean completely, but he saw the doubt in his eyes when they talked about Hunter. No one would ever compare to his Cas. Dean had no interest in screwing a teenager but his instincts had betrayed him.

Grace was busy cleaning mushed-up cereal off Rosie’s face when Dean’s phone started beeping with a text from Sam. Hunter had taken a turn for the worse in the night and they wanted some advice. Castiel was still in bed, so Dean knew he would have to go instead.

“Shit.”

“Daddy!”

“Sorry… sorry, girls. I gotta go up to the house.” Dean didn’t usually mind nipping over to Sam’s but he seemed so restless, even Grace picked up on his hesitation.

“What’s the matter?”

“Not sure yet. You alright with Ro 'til Papa gets up?”

“Of course. Do you want us to come with you?”

“No.” Dean blurted out. He couldn’t risk his daughter seeing them together. Her canine senses had surpassed her father’s as she got older. Grace would smell that omega arousal before they got past the front door. “No, it’s okay.” Dean deliberately softened his voice so she wouldn’t catch on. “I won’t be long.”

Sam had been up late working on his book. All the peace and quiet had given him too much time to think, and he was slowly putting the disturbing pieces together. He was waiting for Dean in the kitchen, just setting a fresh pot of coffee going. Dean nudged the door open, eyes darting into every corner like he was scanning for enemy snipers.

“Where’s Hunter?” He tried his best not to sound like he was avoiding him, but Sam’s suspicions had just been confirmed when that was the first thing that came out Dean’s mouth.

“Not sure.” Sam answered carefully, studying Dean’s face for some reaction. “Haven’t seen him all morning. Like I told you, he got real sick last night. You know how Gabe worries about him.” Sam added. Dean seemed as clueless as usual when it came to subtle hints. “He wanted to take him to emergency, convinced he had some kinda mystery illness.”

“Shit… but he’s okay?”

“Yeah. Slept it off, I think.” Sam answered thoughtfully. He was pretty damn sure he knew exactly what was going on now, but he didn’t pass it on. He would have that long overdue talk with Gabriel later, probably over a bottle of wine to soften the blow. Sam hadn’t forgotten how helpless Castiel was when Dean marked him and released a deluge of mating hormones.

“Do you know what it was?” Dean glanced at his brother from the corner of one eye.

“Not really… do you?” That one Dean didn’t miss, and just shrugged before he looked away again. “How’s Cas?” Sam prompted. He had always been very fond of Castiel, and would hate him to ever doubt the way Dean felt about him after so many years together. They would never make it without each other.

“Not great.” Dean tutted, picking up an empty cup just to have something to stare into. “That storm the other night didn’t help. He’s got real jumpy again lately, Sam.”

“I noticed.”

Dean walked over to the window so Sam couldn’t see the sadness on his face.

“I know it’s got something to do with not having any more pups, but he won’t talk to me.”

“What happened yesterday?”

“What, with Cas?”

“No.” Sam cut him off. “That kid was perfectly okay until he saw you. He was really upset when we got back, Dean. I don’t know what you did to him, but it took Gabe an hour to get any sense out of him at all.”

“What I did to him?” Dean asked, with his mouth open. Sam had that look of crushing disappointment he always wore whenever Dean left his empathy at the door. He couldn’t deal with any of it while he was still so scared Castiel was falling out of love with him. “This is bullshit. I gotta go, Sam.” He knew it was a bad idea going up to the house alone. He should have waited for Castiel, but the damage was done now. Dean was almost tempted to look over his shoulder when he heard soft footsteps behind him. He closed the door without looking back. Hunter sat down opposite Sam and rested his chin in his hands.

“Is Dean mad with me?” He asked quietly. Sam could see his eyes sparkling with more unshed tears.

“No, he’s not mad.”

“But he won’t talk to me anymore. I thought he liked me.” Sam wondered just how much meaning Hunter hid behind that one word. Dean could pretend everything was fine all he wanted, but there was a seventeen-year old kid sitting in front of him, and every emotion showed on his face. His eyes were still fixed on the door like he was willing Dean to come back.

“'Course he likes you. He’s just going through some stuff with Uncle Cas. It’s not you, okay?” Hunter nodded, but Sam wasn’t sure he was actually buying it. Dean had never been so nervous around him before. “You want something to eat?”

“No, thanks. I’m not hungry now.” Hunter scraped the chair away from the table and disappeared back up to his bedroom. He looked so unhappy. Sam knew the people he loved were falling apart around him, and he didn’t know what to do. He steeled himself to say something when he heard Gabriel coming downstairs.

He was still in his bed shorts. The image certainly helped to perk Sam up a bit, and he tugged at one side to drag his mate closer. Gabriel rewarded him with a lot of tongue.

“I think I might let you sleep in every morning.” Sam smiled. He knew Gabe was up with Hunter most of the night, but he could definitely get used to that.

“You could always sleep in with me, Sammy.” He stroked his fingertips along Sam’s jaw. Sam still had his alpha ready to jump and Gabriel had got much better at showing affection. Their bond wasn’t the same as the intense emotion Dean shared with Castiel, but a deep love had blossomed there. Sam didn’t want anything to shatter that beautiful peace they made together.

“Then I’d never get anything done.” Sam laughed, wrapping both arms around Gabriel’s back and burying one cheek in his hip.

“True.”

Sam would have stayed snuggled up to him a lot longer if he wasn’t so concerned about Hunter. He reluctantly pulled away and gestured for Gabriel to sit. Sam poured him a cup of coffee.

“What happened last night?” Sam reckoned it was a good opener for the bombshell he was about to drop. Alcohol would have to wait. “I heard you get up.”

“Yeah.” Gabriel drained his cup quickly to get some much needed caffeine into his system. “Not good, Sam. He seemed more interested in what Dean said to you.”

“Oh.” Sam felt his insides flip. “Well, was he sick? Get a heat? Did you notice any change in his scent?” Gabriel couldn’t ignore the hints any longer.

“You think he might be presenting, don’t you?”

Sam nodded, glad someone finally had the sack to say it.

“Gabe, someone set that off. Don’t you remember how your brother was when Dean marked him?”

“Hang on… didn’t you say it was those special A-type hormones Cas was giving off that drew Dean to him in the first place?”

“Yeah. So?”

“So – that must mean those omegas have a special scent.” Gabriel took great pleasure in figuring something out before Sam. 

His victory was short-lived.

“I already guessed that.” True mates would always be destined to search each other out. “It’s just that Cas hid himself away for so long, it took Dean years to find him. I never believed it was a coincidence we moved there.” Gabriel sighed when Sam paused. He was back to square one. “I hope once his first heat is over, he’ll lose interest in Dean.” Sam tensed when he realized what had slipped out. Gabriel looked like someone just whacked him with a piece of two-by-four.

“What interest in Dean? Sam?” Gabriel grabbed his arm. “What are you talking about? This isn’t about Dean.”

“Actually.” Sam reached for Gabriel’s hand. “I think it is.”

“What do you mean?”

Sam prepared himself for the inevitable fallout.

“I see the way Hunter looks at Dean. I think he’s sweet on him.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Gabriel almost laughed. “Hunter would never go for someone like that.”

“Gabe.” Sam warned. Dean could be an asshole when he was riding out a rut, but Sam was always ready to defend him. He knew how much he suffered before he found Castiel, and there was nothing he wouldn’t do to make sure they were always happy together.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Gabriel said quickly. Dean had more than proved his worth as a mate. “He looks so much like Cas, though. I’ve always thought so.”

“I know. Do you think it could be a specific trait, linked to the A-type gene, maybe?”

“Don’t you know? You’re always on that damn laptop.”

“I dunno, Gabe. Dean’s lore book never said anything about that. I don’t even know where it is, to be honest.”

“Grace has it.” Gabriel replied. He remembered Dean giving it to her when she presented as an alpha.

“Oh, yeah. Shit. We can’t exactly tell her why we need it. I don’t want her to think bad things about her daddy.”

“Sam.” Gabriel didn’t like the way he said that. Sam could see he was in danger of hyperventilating.

“Let’s not get carried away on a maybe.” Sam smiled at him. It usually had the desired effect. “Whatever’s going on, he can’t help himself and we need to help get him through it somehow.”

“You don’t really think Dean would - ” Gabriel whispered.

“No, I don’t." Sam frowned hard. He didn't even have to think about it. "But Hunter’s going to end up getting hurt if we don’t do something soon. Dean would never betray Cas like that.”

“I might have some suppressants somewhere.” Gabriel muttered, still struggling to work through the recent interest in Dean press leak. He probably stuffed them in the back of a cupboard years ago. Castiel hadn’t needed them after he let Dean claim him. “If you really think that’s what’s wrong with him, it might be best to try and slow it down a bit. I don’t want him to get sick again.”

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea to try and hold that back, Gabe.” Sam suspected there was a much more personal reason why Hunter’s heat had suddenly burst into life after he was holed away with Dean for a few minutes. “You screw with nature, it’ll screw you right back.”

Α ✫ Ω

Castiel didn’t have much motivation to get up, but he forced himself out of bed and wandered through to the kitchen. Grace was still clearing away. She told him Dean was already over at the house, and Castiel felt his stomach drop. He knew he was going to have to face Hunter sooner or later, so he got Rosie dressed and headed to Gabriel’s with his heart in his mouth.

Sam was surprised to see him standing on the step when he answered the door. Castiel usually let himself in. There was a faint shadow of the timid omega he once knew before Dean chased away all the demons. Sam knew Castiel was emotionally vulnerable right now and didn’t want to presume too much about the latest crisis in their relationship, so he just waited patiently in the doorway.

“Is Dean here?”

“Sorry, Cas. You just missed him.” Sam gave him a warm smile to try and put him at ease, suspecting he wasn’t the only one who was starting to notice the way Hunter’s eyes instinctively followed Dean, watching every little move he made. He obviously hadn’t gone home after he left, and people making a sudden habit of just up and disappearing was getting beyond a joke. “Have a coffee with me. I’ve been waiting for you to come over. I told Dean I needed to ask you some questions for my book.”

“He never said.” Castiel replied quietly, wondering what else Dean neglected to share about his visit the day before.

Hunter overheard them talking and came out of his room, hovering at the top of the stairs like he knew Castiel suspected something. Sam didn’t want either of them knowing too much about the dynamics of his growing attraction to Dean. Just because Hunter had no control over his feelings didn’t make it okay. Castiel was staring into space, not realizing Rosie was wriggling to try and get a cuddle from her uncle.

“Hey, Ro.” Sam distracted Castiel by taking the baby from him and lifting her up in the air. She drooled on him. “Come through, Cas.” Sam laughed, wiping one hand across his face. “I have a few things I’d like to check, if you got time.”

“Okay.” Castiel murmured, following him into the kitchen. He sat down with a bump, and Sam could see he was in no state to be grilled about what it was like to be different. He couldn’t have picked a worse time to rub salt in that particular wound. Sam decided to use the unexpected opportunity as an excuse to get him to open up a bit instead, and not just out of loyalty to his brother. He hadn’t been so concerned about Castiel since the day he splooged on Dean’s sheets.

Sam talked about some of the things he was going to add to his book, not wanting to seem like he was trying to interfere, but it didn’t take much for Castiel to admit how low he felt. Sam was a smart boy. He got it.

Cas was just feeling a bit insecure now he was done breeding.

It didn’t make much sense. Sam always knew Castiel and Dean could get sick without their pair-bond. Their fates were joined together, hearts linked forever, but Castiel seemed utterly convinced he was washed up, useless. At least that was something Dean could try to rebuild. Castiel was quiet for a long time before he spoke again.

“Sam, if I tell you something, will you swear not to say anything to Dean?”

“Cross my heart.”

“I’m so scared. I know Dean wanted me to keep having pups, but we said no more after I had such a bad time with - ” He stopped dead when he spotted Rosie. She was looking up at him with those beautiful eyes, and Castiel couldn’t bring himself to say it in front of her. “You know.” He nodded towards his daughter. “I just never expected to feel so empty when that choice was taken away.”

Androgynous omegas were rare, and Dean was the only alpha ever destined to make Castiel fertile by marking him. It was pretty likely his body would be receptive for longer because of what he was, if they really wanted to try for another one. Maybe something else was going on inside his head.

“What about the other kids?” Sam asked softly. “Any idea yet?” He didn’t want Castiel to have to go through it all again with the boys.

“JJ’s shown a few signs, but we haven’t really talked about it yet.” John Junior was the spit of Grace. He outgrew the nickname Sam gave him when he started to sprout like a weed. “I’m sure Dean ignores some of it on purpose. He still thinks of Gracie as his little girl, even though she’ll be twenty-one in a few weeks. Sammy’s never presented. He always was your double.”

“That he was.” Sam hummed. “Cas. I know it’s not my place to say anything, but Dean was a mess this morning.”

“What did he say?” Castiel suddenly sat up.

“Not much. Just that you won’t talk to him, and it’s breaking his heart. He would do anything for you.”

“I know Dean loves me, it’s not that.” Castiel sighed. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt him. “But he can’t change what he is… what he needs.”

Castiel didn’t have to say it. Sam knew he meant the instinct to fill a slick hole.

“He needs you.” Sam said blankly. He couldn’t understand why Castiel would ever doubt it. “Dean spend a lifetime looking for you. You know how hard it is for you to be apart.”

“I know. I pretended I only came back yesterday to check on Hunter but I felt it so bad - missing Dean.” Castiel could feel himself filling up again so he got up, thinking he probably shared too much already. “I want him to love me for me, not just because I was the omega who had his pups.”

“Cas.” Sam wanted to hug him. “He does.”

Sam offered to have Rosie for a bit, and Castiel smiled gratefully. When he got to the door something pulled him back, suddenly torn between admitting defeat and going to see Hunter before he left.

He had to know.

Castiel reluctantly climbed the stairs one at a time, like he was scared he might hear something he wouldn’t like when he reached the top. He was already convinced his nephew was presenting, remembering how sick he felt when it happened to him. Hunter’s bedroom door was slightly open so he could eavesdrop on the conversation with Sam. Castiel tapped, but he walked in anyway. Hunter looked like he was expecting a showdown.

“Mind if I sit?” The boy shook his head and pulled his knees up so Castiel could perch on the end of his bed. “Is there something you need to tell me?” Castiel looked so hopelessly sad, Hunter just burst into tears.

“I would never do anything to hurt you, Uncle Cas, I swear. I didn’t think I even liked him like that, but something just happens inside me when I see him.” Castiel hadn’t expected him to just come right out with it. All the guilt came rushing out in a stream of tears and snot.

“Dean?”

Hunter nodded with a sniffle.

“Nothing happened, honest.” He didn’t admit it wasn’t for the want of trying. Castiel didn’t know what to think now, hoping it was just a passing crush. “I know he's your mate. I don’t want to feel that way.”

“I understand. Believe me, I do.” Castiel tried to smile. He remembered how powerless he felt when he was at the mercy of his instincts to let an alpha knot him. “But I don’t know how to fix it, Hunter. I don’t want to lose either of you.”

“There’s nothing to fix. I’m not stupid. I know Dean doesn’t want me, not really. I just gotta deal with it.” Hunter sighed. “Whatever _it_ is.”  


Castiel patted the back of his hand in sympathy. None of this was his fault, but what Dean wanted and what he couldn’t control were a long way apart. Castiel had to be sure the trust in his husband wasn’t misplaced.

“Did he touch you?”

“No.” Hunter said adamantly. He couldn’t let Castiel think Dean had tried to seduce him. “I wanted him to, but he pushed me away when I kissed him.”

“You kissed him?” Castiel whispered, all the colour draining from his cheeks. Dean never told him that. He must have known how wrong that was. The boy nodded, biting his lip in shame. “Hunter, I don’t really want to ask you this, but I have to know.” Castiel braced himself for the answer. “Did Dean kiss you back?”

Hunter shook his head. Castiel almost felt sorry for the boy. He saw himself there as a young unmated omega, scared of his own shadow. They all welcomed Hunter into the family when Gabriel adopted him, but knowing he wasn’t really blood made it so much harder. Castiel suddenly realized they didn’t actually know all that much about him, and his past was a mystery.

Α ✫ Ω

Gabriel found Sam in the kitchen with Rosie perched next to him on the counter top. He was secretly feeding her chocolate chips on the condition she promised not to tell her dad.

“I can’t find those damn pills anywhere.” Gabriel had spent the last hour ransacking the bedroom. “Shall I order some?”

“Gabe, I said we shouldn’t mess with that.”

“I know what you said.”

Sam was staring at Gabriel in surprise.

“So, what I think doesn’t matter?” Sam said quietly. He didn’t want them to argue in front of Rosie.

“Of course it matters. But if you’re right about Dean, there’s no way in hell I’m just gonna sit back and let that happen.”

“It won’t. He would never screw around on Cas. I trust him, even though you never thought he was good enough.”

“Hey. That’s not fair.” Gabriel replied defensively. “You know I changed my opinion about Dean a long time ago. He’s always treated Cas right.”

“No one’s disputing that, Gabe.” Sam was getting frustrated. Gabriel was so blinkered when it came to Hunter, refusing to believe he could ever hurt anyone - intentionally or not. It was already creating friction between them. Gabriel had always tried to be the alpha Sam needed him to be. He didn’t want it causing trouble in their relationship as well.

“I don’t know what to think anymore, but we need to get to the bottom of this, Sammy. I’m getting really worried.” Gabriel had no idea what to do. Alpha lore was Sam’s department.

“Me too. I don’t know what triggered the phobias again, but Cas isn’t right and Dean said he won’t talk about it. Maybe he’s the problem.” Sam murmured to himself. Gabriel wasn’t really listening. It was looking likely Hunter really was the same as Castiel, and it filled him with fear. His brother was a shuddering mess until he met Dean. The Foundation had tried to help omegas find a place in society without being targeted or abandoned, but none of it meant a damn thing if he couldn’t help his own kid. “Maybe we should try and get hold of Dean’s book, after all.” Sam added thoughtfully. The pictures once helped identify Castiel when they were trying to find out why he had such a profound response to Dean’s mark. Sam didn’t really need any more evidence, but Gabriel had to be sure. The way Hunter drooled over Dean every time they were together was enough. The scent that once pulled Castiel in might be the answer. Maybe Dean was different too.

“How is that going to help?” Gabriel sighed.

“Well, Dean made Cas respond to his scent when he marked him, right? Physically, I mean. Could be there’s more to it than we thought. I always presumed it was 'cause they were true mates, but other A-types might have the same chemicals.”

“That’s not reassuring, Sammy.”

“I know, but I’m still trying to figure all this out.” Sam knew they were running out of time. “And right now I got bupkis.”

“I suppose it might explain why Castiel was so infatuated with him when they met.” Gabriel shook his head. “I sincerely doubt it was down to his romantic pillow talk.”  


Sam ignored it. Gabriel was stressed out over Hunter, but the little digs about his brother were starting to irritate him.

“A lot of male alphas would want a mate like that. I know Dean always says how lucky he is to have one, but he never realized just how sensitive omegas like Cas are – still doesn’t, I don’t think. Not really.” Sam never thought he would come across another one like him. “I’m sure there are more like Crowley to take his slimy place in a heartbeat. They need to be protected, Gabe. Both of them.”

“What the hell do you think I’ve been trying to do all this time?”

“Gabe.” Sam picked Rosie up and let her nuzzle into him. She was gazing up at him with so much innocence in her eyes, he didn’t rise to it. “I think it’s wonderful you tried to help them, I do.” Sam added gently. “But it opened up something we got no control over.” Gabriel’s charity had done a lot, but people wanted to find out more about special types now. The Foundation had found homes for the younger ones whose parents couldn’t cope with the demands of unmated omegas. Gabriel wanted to make sure they knew what to look for in a decent mate before the whole system deteriorated into some kind of fucked up alpha dating service.

“Don’t put all that on me.” Gabriel replied. “Your book isn’t exactly classified material.”

“I know.” Sam still felt guilty for publishing their secret to the world, but he needed Gabriel’s support. He only ever meant for society to understand them better. Never imagining they would be chalked up for virtual vivisection to see what made them different. He was hoping the new edition would help. Something he wanted to do since Castiel dropped into their lives, and never left. “But at least we got a heads-up if we know what to look for. He could be, Gabe.” Writing a book on it was one thing, but the thought of Dean being drawn to their son made him want to retch. “But this is the one time in my life I really hope I’m wrong.”

Α ✫ Ω

Dean was sitting on the back step when Castiel got home with JJ squeezed in beside him. They had obviously been talking for some time, and Castiel wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the topic of conversation. Hunter was about the same age, and that made him feel worse. Castiel smiled down at their son, but never said a word to Dean when he nudged passed him. He could still hear them talking for a few minutes before Dean came in alone.

“You okay, Cas?” Dean attempted. Nothing. “I was out looking for JJ. I sent him over to try and talk to the kid about how you deal with the heats and stuff. I didn’t think you’d mind.”

“Why would I mind?” Castiel replied, and Dean shrugged. He thought maybe some peer bonding might do Hunter a bit of good, not realizing Castiel had already spoken to him. Dean could tell something was chipping away at his mask of calm, taking it out on the kitchen cabinets instead while he pretended to look for something. He finally managed a broken whisper when he couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Why didn’t you tell me he kissed you?”

Dean closed his eyes.

“Cas.” He could feel the dismay rising when he knew Castiel would see that as a cover up. “Because I didn’t want it… and I didn’t want you thinking I did. It was a peck, is all and I got outta there before he did somethin’ else.”

“Why? Scared you might have liked it?”

That did it. Dean pushed his body in front of Castiel so he would have to face him.

“Cas, stop it.” Dean took his hands. “Baby. I spent the best part of my life looking for you. Do you honestly think I would ever risk what we have?”

Castiel was quiet for a few seconds, lost in thought. He didn’t know what to think anymore.

“No… no, Dean.” Maybe he had been overreacting a bit. “I don’t think you would consciously do anything, but it’s the need to breed in you that scares me.”

“I don’t want you to be scared.” Dean said seriously. “'Specially not of me.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m… well.” Castiel stopped himself. He couldn’t look Dean in the eyes when all those cold suspicions filtered back to the surface. Castiel didn’t think he was fertile anymore, but couldn’t quite bring himself to say it out loud. “You know what an omega scent can do to an alpha.”

“That’s go nothing to do with it.” Dean snapped. “I love you for who you are, not just a hole to take my knot. I never thought of you like that, and you know better.”

“Maybe once I believed that, but I’m no good to you now.” Castiel was suddenly staring at his feet. “I know I can’t stir those senses like I did when I was young.”

Dean’s expression softened when he realized how bad Castiel must feel about himself to doubt his worth, even for a second. So there it was. Everything that had fuelled his descent into despair. Dean kept his game face on.

“Don’t you ever… ever think like that.” Dean stroked Castiel’s cheek with a hint of tender affection that had been all too lacking lately. “I really believe you were made just for me, Cas. Always have.”

“Dean.” Castiel whispered, not sure of anything anymore. Sam once said all his phobias had come from the need to draw in the right mate. The instinct to be mated to his perfect alpha. “You made all the fear go away. You can’t say it’s a coincidence Hunter hasn’t been so scared since Gabe brought him back here.”

“I don’t care.” Dean sniffed. “That just works on true mates, Cas. Even Sam said you were the only one for me.”

“Sam said a lot of things, but it’s only stuff he’s read.”

“Are you kidding me? He’s like some kinda mega authority on it now. Gabe makes out he practically wrote the omega handbook.”

Castiel actually managed a little smile, but he didn’t look up. Dean almost forgot how beautiful he was when his nose crinkled up at the end.

“I know, Dean, and I love what he did for us, but no one knows for sure. If Hunter really is like me, there must be more to it. Like that thing Sam used to say I was.”

“Yeah… I remember. Andros somethin' – fucked if I know, but you got no need to worry. It was such a long time ago, Cas. I can ask Gracie to dig my book out so we can check, if you want. Don’t know how much she’s read yet, but Gabe told me she knew what a pair-bond was.” Dean was desperately trying to understand why his body reacted so violently to Hunter when he knew Castiel was the only omega he would ever want. “I gave my heart to you the day I claimed you, Cas. It’s for life.”

Castiel fell quiet again when a terrifying thought hit him.

“Maybe it’s not.”

“What?” Dean felt his mouth go dry.

“Maybe it’s not for life, Dean. Just while the omega can still have pups.”

“Cas, please tell me you don’t really believe that.” Dean could feel his heart thumping. He didn’t think that was true, but it was another one to jot down in his head to harass Sam with later. “I promise I’ll figure all this out, okay?”

“Okay.” Castiel didn’t look at him. Dean used to make him feel so safe, but now something was missing. He wondered if the fear had ever really gone away at all.

Α ✫ Ω

Hunter and JJ spent most of the afternoon together. Gabriel kept shouting up to see if they were okay while he made an industrial batch of cookies as a distraction, but he couldn’t find the chocolate chips. Sam took a few upstairs while they were still warm, using it as a good excuse to make sure Hunter hadn’t dropped Dean in the shit. Sam looked thoughtful when he came back down. There was something hauntingly familiar about the way those two boys seemed to understand each other.

“You know, I’ve been thinking.” He said slowly. Gabriel looked up expectantly. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor with Rosie in his lap while they cleaned out the mixing bowl with eager fingers. She was covered in butter. “Dean might have a special scent for A-types. So do his kids, I’m guessing.”

“You mean Grace and JJ?”

“Yeah, must only be the alphas.” Sam added. “I think Hunter’s body might be confused.” It was enough to change his mind about slipping the boy a few suppressants, even if only to buy them some time. Something had stimulated his heat, and Sam was starting to get scared for Dean. “Do you really think the pills might help?” Gabriel had one sticky finger wedged between his lips, so he just nodded. “Okay, but I know Cas doesn’t have any. He hasn’t used them for years.” Sam smiled, a long buried memory passing through his thoughts. “They never worked on Dean, anyways.”

“Let’s give it a shot.” Gabriel let Rosie slip through his knees so he could get up. “If it’s not Dean, he won’t be able to smell him.”

“You think?”

“It’s gotta be worth a try.” Gabriel was getting desperate. “At least we’ll know for sure.”

“Fuck.” Sam mumbled. “I just had a horrible thought.”

“What?” Gabriel asked nervously.

“I spoke to Cas while you were trashing the bedroom. He thinks he’s menopausal or some such shit - whatever it is for a man.”

“Why is that bad?”

“What if when the omega's not fertile anymore, the alpha senses a new mate? That’s what it’s all about for you people, isn’t it? Reproducing.”

“Sam.” Gabriel frowned with distaste. He knew Sam was only clutching at straws, but that was insulting. “No, and I’m not sure you should share that with my brother.” He always hated how omegas were expected to just satisfy their alpha’s ruts by popping out pups. It made him physically sick when he thought about his own father. One of the many reasons he waited so long to claim a mate himself, and even then he chose to bite a beta. It wouldn’t have mattered what Sam was, he loved him to bits. But maybe subconsciously Gabriel knew he would never be able to use Sam like that.

“I never thought us bringing Hunter here would set Dean off again. He’s always been so settled with Cas.”

“I’m not worried about that, Sam. I’ve never doubted Dean’s devotion to my brother.” It was a far cry from all the bitchy little comments he was more than happy to dish out earlier. Sam wished he could say the same, but he understood the bonding thing much better than Gabriel ever had.

“I’m serious, Gabe. It’s bugged me all morning.”

“So, why are you only telling me now?”

“I had an attack of conscience, okay?” Sam didn’t want the boys to overhear, so he quietly pulled the door shut, pretty sure Rosie wouldn’t snitch on them.

“What do you mean?”

“I have a theory.” Sam edged a bit closer to make sure Gabriel was paying attention.

“Okay, then. Let’s hear it.” Gabriel pulled up a chair. He was always the last to know anything.

“I thought we were doing something good, you know.” Sam sat down opposite with a weary sigh. “The book, taking Hunter in. But now we got a young unmated omega wandering around. He’s practically dripping in hormones, Gabe, and I don’t know what to expect anymore. I don’t think it’s a good idea to let him out your sight at the minute. Maybe we should go on a trip or something 'til he’s finished presenting. Take the temptation away.” Sam added quietly. He hadn’t actually meant to say that out loud.

“Sam.” Gabriel linked their fingers together over the table. “I didn’t mean what I said before. I know you were trying to make things better for them. This is the last thing I wanted for our son.”

“I know.” Sam smiled, stroking one thumb across the back of Gabriel’s hand.

“Most of Castiel’s phobias seemed to fade away when he found Dean, though. Why would they come back? Those chemicals you told me about are meant to pull in a mate, right?” Sam nodded. “Then something’s not right.”

“I don’t like it either, but it has to be said.”

“What?”

“I’m sure you can figure it out, if you think real hard.”

Gabriel pulled his hand away.

“I don’t like what you’re implying.”

“I’m not saying for sure, but you must have noticed how much he’s changed lately. You suspected he was an omega when you adopted him. What the hell did you think was gonna happen when his balls dropped?” Sam didn’t mean to be so tetchy but Gabriel didn’t seem to take it personally. He looked more thoughtful than anything else. He almost forgot how jittery Hunter was when they brought him home. It took them both a great deal of time and patience to get him to open up at all. “He hasn’t been so bad since he moved here.” Sam added. “I know it’s only been a year or so and that facility sucked some serious ass, but you don’t think that’s a coincidence any more than I do. It means there’s a potential mate close.”

“You really think so?”

“Don’t you?”

“Sam.”

“No, seriously. Think about it for a second. Two of those kids look exactly like Dean and I’m fairly sure we can rule Gracie out. A-types are designed to have babies, so that wouldn’t make any sense, if you know what I mean.” Sam waited for Gabriel to catch up. “Dean’s book said pair-bonds were more powerful with the same sex. So special omegas need a male alpha to get them pregnant.”

“Sam, stop.” Gabriel’s head was spinning. “Stop a minute. What the hell has this got to do with Dean? He’s already mated to Cas. You said it’s for life.”

“And it is. I really believe that. You only gotta look at those two together when they’re okay.” Sam seemed to have drifted off again, distracted by happier memories. “I don’t know, Gabe. Like I said, just a theory.”

“What, you think Hunter might be drawn to the scent, rather than anyone specific?”

“Maybe. They must be similar.”

“So if male A-types always go for the same sex, that doesn’t leave us many options.”

Sam looked deadly serious.

“I know, and that means it’s JJ.” Sam didn’t even want to think about the alternative, but someone had to say it. “Or it’s Dean.”

Α ✫ Ω

Dean couldn’t seem to do anything right at home so he offered to go fetch the kids, hoping Castiel would feel more like talking when they were alone later. All his heartfelt promises left hanging in the air between them.

He was pacing up and down in the garden, preparing himself to go back in. Sam spotted him from the window and shouted him over. Dean could feel something tingling deep inside when he got closer. Stronger than it was the day before. Stifling. He couldn’t ignore the signs anymore and dragged Sam outside before Rosie realized he was there to pick her up. Dean was breathing heavily, almost gasping for air.

“You alright?” It was a stupid question. Dean looked like he was about to pass out, but he knew his brother was the only one he could really talk to without risking a slap to the face.

“Sam… look at the state of me.” Dean could almost taste Hunter. His scent was everywhere. “No, I’m not alright and I gotta know, 'cause I can’t deal with this much longer. Is Hunter presenting?”

Sam wondered if Gabe had said something, but he couldn’t have. He was still entertaining the baby in the kitchen. Maybe there were just more hormones flying about than Dean could handle.

“Why you asking?” Sam said cautiously, not sure what Dean wanted to hear.

“I feel like I’m losing myself… and Cas doesn’t trust me anymore.” Sam still didn’t answer. It wasn’t that hard to see Castiel knew a lot more than he let on. “Is he?” Dean insisted, checking over his shoulder like he expected that scent to have got up and followed him. Sam had never seen him so unsettled.

“We think so.” He admitted at last. “It was only a matter of time, really.” Dean let all the air out his lungs and fell against Sam like he needed holding up. That explained it. At least Dean knew the little jerks of his dick every time he took a breath were beyond his control. It was some small comfort. Sort of. “We don’t really know how to deal with it.” Sam sighed. “I think Cas gave him a pep talk, but I don’t know if it did any good.”

“He talked to Hunter?” Dean gaped, forcing himself to stand a bit straighter. That was how he knew about the kiss. His own son was still up there, presumably giving out a dose of moral support. Dean was terrified he might tell JJ everything. “Shit. I just wanna know why I feel so freakin' weird. I would never want anyone else.”

“He’s still an omega, Dean. A specific type, I think.”

“Like Cas?”

Sam nodded.

“I think it must be their special scent. You must be honed in on it, somehow.”

“But I already got a mate, Sam.”

“I know that, Dean.”

“What the hell is going on, then?”

“Honestly?” Sam started, not bothering to wait for a reply. Dean looked like he was already having enough trouble trying to coordinate talking and breathing at the same time. “I think it might be one of your pups.” Dean’s mind went straight to his daughter. She was a true alpha in every sense of the word.

“What are the odds, though, Sam? Come on.” Dean dismissed it, but Sam wasn’t done.

“I told you before, Dean. There _is_ no coincidence when it comes to mating. True mates, anyway. Why did we pick that facility? That day? That boy, even?”

Dean still couldn’t see it. Grace presented years ago and never showed much interest in boys at all.

“You think he’s supposed to be with Gracie?”

“I don’t think so. There’s no way he’d be able to produce a baby unless he was carrying it. A-types are made to - ”

“What?” Dean jerked his head up. “Why you stop like that, Sam?”

“It’s nothing.” Sam sighed, hoping Dean had already forgotten most of it. He usually did. “I just didn’t want Cas to know about it when we had all that shit with that dick, Crowley.”

“Know what?”

“A long time ago I realized these androgynous ones are designed to be bred. That’s why Cas always had the pups after only a few months.”

“But you said Cas was one of those special baby-making omegas - one in a million.” Dean always thought so too, but not for the same reason.

“He is.” Sam smiled. “But something’s going on with Hunter, and I’d be willing to bet my ass he’s an A-type. He looks so much like Cas, it’s scary. Even Gabe thinks so.”

“I know.” Dean murmured. “Please don’t remind me. I see Cas in him all the time.” He sounded so lost and faraway, Sam wondered if Hunter ever stirred some long forgotten fantasy in Dean’s memory of the young ripe omega he fell in love with.

“Is that a bad thing?” Sam asked slowly, cautiously screwing up one eye.

Dean didn’t answer. He decided to wait on the step for Rosie, and JJ shouted down he would make his own way home later. Sam didn’t miss the way those green eyes kept slinking up the stairs.

Α ✫ Ω

Hunter surprised them all by coming down to breakfast the next day with an appetite to rival Sam’s. All evidence of his heat was gone, and he didn’t look sick at all. Sam was eyeing him suspiciously over a piece of toast. He couldn’t quite shake the idea there was something very unnatural about it. Gabriel leaned in to whisper something in his ear when Hunter got up to raid the pantry for extra toppings.

“What’s the matter? He seems fine now. I thought you’d be happy.”

“I am.” Sam muttered back, trying to make sure Hunter wouldn’t hear them talking about him. It’s just… well he seems a bit too satisfied, if you know what I mean.”

“Sam, he hasn’t been anywhere.” Gabriel tapped him. So relieved, he didn’t give a shit why. “Probably just ran its course. You know how temperamental those first heats can be.”

Actually, no he didn’t. First heats were predictable. Hunter showed all the signs of a typical case, and Sam should know. He literally wrote the book on it.  


Sam decided to share what he knew with Dean, just to make sure. Sam could reel off as much scientific bullshit as he liked, but Dean was the one with experience in the field. Sam had no doubt his brother knew Castiel’s body like the back of his hand. He forced away the idea he also wanted to rule him out as a suspect.

He let himself in. Dean was sitting on his own at the table, aimlessly flicking a spoon in circles around his mug.

“Morning, sunshine.” Sam said sarcastically. “You alright? Where’s Cas?”

“Still in bed.” Dean mumbled. “Sulking prob’ly.”

“Sorry.” Sam offered awkwardly, not really sure what else he was supposed to say. He wasn’t used to seeing Dean so miserable. He felt sick when he tried to go over the last few days in his head and do the math, wondering if Dean had spent more time alone with Hunter than he thought.

They spoke for a few minutes but Dean didn’t seem very talkative, and Sam knew there were too many silent accusations suspended between them. Dean thought hard about everything Sam said and stormed off to find Grace the second his brother went home. Dean always wanted his children to care for a mate with as much devotion as he cared for Castiel, but never imagined it would be quite so close to home. He needed to know what was going on behind his back. Grace was always over there and Dean knew Hunter hadn’t left the house for days. If he was alright now, that meant someone had touched him. The thought of having to discuss satisfying a heat with his daughter was the stuff of nightmares. Dean barged into her bedroom. She sat up with a start when she saw the look on his face.

“What’s wrong?” Grace asked in alarm.

Dean sucked on his lip while he summoned up the balls to say it.

“Gracie.” Dean’s trampled emotions were spiralling out of control, and his mouth kept moving before the rest of his brain managed to catch up. “If you’re messing about, girl, you best not let me catch you.”

“What? I’m not!” Grace pouted at him, with no idea what brought that on. It wasn’t the first time she got accused of doing something she hadn’t. “I’m not doing anything.”

“I wanna know if you got somethin' going on with Hunter. Gabe doesn’t know what’s the matter with him, but I gotta pretty good idea.” Grace was frowning at him in confusion. “Sam says he’s okay now - and if it was a heat, you know what that means.”

“You think I did something to him?” Grace looked mortally offended. She had no interest in mating with anyone, and to think she would do anything X-rated with her little cousin was insulting. She had some standards.

“He didn’t just get rid of it by magic.”

“Well, he’s not balling me.” Dean stared at his daughter with his mouth hanging open. He had no idea what happened to that sweet little princess he used to know. “Hunter’s an omega.” Grace added, with a blush. Dean knew she was hinting at the fact a delicate little boy cock meant he probably wouldn’t be doing that to anyone. Dean had been stunned into awed silence when he saw Cas butt-naked for the first time. She was right, but Dean so didn’t wanna know how Grace could have figured that out already. “I swear it’s not me.” She repeated, glaring at her father in defiance. “Maybe you should be looking in another direction.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” There was no way his daughter could have known what happened in Hunter’s bedroom, but it made Dean very defensive.

“Daddy.” Grace said gently. “I don’t think I’m the only alpha in the family.” She already suspected JJ was close to presenting, if he hadn’t already. Grace often helped Castiel play house on the weekends and spent the last couple of months trying to ignore the state of his boxers when she chucked them in the laundry. His scent had changed too, and Grace couldn’t understand why Dean hadn’t noticed. Maybe blinding denial was a persuasive emotion. “I think this is a conversation you need to have with my brother.” Dean suddenly sat down heavily on the edge of her bed and dropped his head in defeat. Now he felt like a dick for even doubting her. Grace ignored the verbal assault. Dean looked scared. She could see he was only just managing to hold it all together.

“What am I supposed to do?”

“You could actually talk to him.” She reached for his hand. Grace had been amazing since she gained a little sister and always helped look after the boys, but it wasn’t her responsibility to educate her brother on the dynamics of taking a mate. Dean went into his first breeding heat at seventeen. JJ was the same age but he seemed so young, and Dean couldn’t even think about one of his kids being up for mating.

Dean knew he couldn’t stick his head in the sand forever, and Sam was already acting like he suspected something. He only had to let something slip, and Dean knew Sam wouldn’t be able to lie to Gabriel if he asked him outright.

Castiel eventually came out the bedroom to investigate the unfamiliar sound of a heated argument. The house had been so quiet lately and he couldn’t remember the last time Dean so much as raised his voice at Grace. He found them sitting side by side on her bed.

“Dean?” Castiel glanced at Grace to make sure she was alright. “What’s going on?”

“Grace thinks we should talk to JJ.” Dean looked up, attempting a weak smile. He still hadn’t come home, so he must have spent another night at Gabe’s.

“About what?” Castiel must have missed the connection. Dean patted Grace’s hand and got up to tug Castiel into the hallway.

“She thinks he might be presenting as well. You noticed anything?” He whispered.

“Maybe… but how would she know?”

“Must have picked up on his scent.”

“Really?” Castiel suspected there was much more to it. He hadn’t imagined the shouting match that forced him out of bed. “Alright.” He conceded. “I’ll talk to him, but I don’t see how we can make any of this okay.”

“I don’t know what to do, Cas. It’s all such a fucking mess.” Dean felt really bad now he upset Grace as well. “I haven’t felt this helpless since I thought I lost you.” So much tenderness in his voice suddenly made Castiel pause. His eyes flicked up in surprise, amazed Dean still thought about how close they came to being separated forever.

“I’ve actually thought he might be for a while.”

“Well, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I know how you feel about the children, Dean. They’re still your little puppies, and you’re an asshole when you think you’re right about something.” Dean blinked at him. Cas had a point. “But I don’t think you should go over there with a loaded shotgun just yet. Probably isn’t anything to do with JJ.”

“But what if it is?” Dean said quietly. “He’s too young, Cas. They both are.”

“Tell that to his body.” Castiel sighed. “You can’t stop it. Suppress it in Hunter maybe, but you can’t tame an alpha. It’s just nature, Dean. Don’t waste your time trying to fight it.” Dean could hear the resignation in his voice, and cringed inside at such a crappy choice of words. He remembered how hard it was to tear himself away from that boy when he was up close and personal. Dean was shaken from the memory when Castiel turned to face him. Dean cautiously slid one arm around his waist. He didn’t pull away like he had before, but it wasn’t the same. Maybe JJ and Hunter were meant to be. Sam sure seemed convinced the boy had been drawn to Dean for a reason. Having an alpha daughter was difficult enough when she presented. Grace was as stubborn as all hell when she hit puberty and just like her father. Their youngest son wanting to mate issued in a whole new level of panic. “It must be hard. All that raging testosterone and nowhere to put it.”

“Shit, Cas.” Dean dropped his hand. “Don’t say it like that.”

“Maybe we’ve put off our little sex talk too long already. You should say something. You’re the alpha.”

“But you’re better at all that kinda stuff. He always looks at me like I’ve lost my mind and won’t listen to a damn thing I say.”

“Dean, he’s a teenager. It’s compulsory.” Castiel sighed. “And I know you’re looking for something else to explain why you’re acting like a dog in heat.”

“I can’t help it, Cas.” Dean whispered.

“Meaning what?” Castiel asked slowly, squinting at Dean out the corner of one eye.

Grace saved him from the virtual daggers when she pulled the bedroom door open.

“Nothing.” Dean said quickly. “Hey, baby. You alright? I’m really sorry about what I said. You know I trust you.”

“It’s okay, Daddy.” Grace gave her father a kiss on the cheek, all the bitterness forgotten. She just wanted to see Dean smile again. Castiel looked like his expression was set in stone. “What you two looking so serious about?” Her parents were usually gazing stupidly at each other while Dean pawed at Cas like no one was watching.

“We were just talking about JJ.” Dean didn’t want to give her too many details. He knew how hard it was for an alpha to be completely responsible for someone else, and Grace would have to make that choice one day. “I don’t want him being shackled to someone at seventeen. I’m gonna tell him to stay away from Hunter for a bit, just in case.”

“Why?” Grace asked. “You shouldn’t try and force people apart if they want to be together.” Her dad should know that better than anyone.

“Because we know what’s best for him.” Castiel tried to placate her, but someone had to stand up for her brother while he wasn’t there to defend himself.

“That’s not for anyone else to decide. Putting stupid conditions on him so he can end up like you.” Grace didn’t mean that to sound quite as bitchy as it came out. Looked like some of Gabriel had rubbed off on her after all. “I wanted to find a love like you had one day, but now I don’t know what I want. I sure as hell don’t want to be driven by some crappy instinct.” Her eyes started to fill with tears of frustration, sensing the tension between her parents and finding it hard to accept her baby brother was even thinking about sex.

“But I chose that, Gracie.” Castiel tried to pretend that hadn’t hurt. “I wanted Daddy to claim me. You wouldn’t understand.” Castiel would never be able to explain how it felt to be so alone. “You’re an alpha.” He knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as he saw the look of disappointment on her face.

“Well, thanks for making that sound like a death sentence.”

“Grace - ” Castiel was too late to salvage anything with his daughter until she calmed down a bit, and set off on a JJ hunt. Dean let him go. Sam looked like he was expecting him, knowing his brother wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut.

“Hello, Sam.” Castiel didn’t go inside. “I came to see if JJ was ready to come home. I need to talk to him.”

“JJ? I don’t think he’s here, Cas.”

“What? He must be. He didn’t come back last night.”

“Hang on. Come in a sec, I’ll ask Hunter. He might have been the last one to see him.” Sam leapt up the stairs and Castiel could hear muffled voices. He reappeared a couple of minutes later looking very worried. “Hunter hasn’t seen him since yesterday.” Gabriel poked his head around the kitchen door and gestured for Castiel to come through. Sam didn’t tell him another Winchester had gone missing.

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.” Castiel tried to make it sound like it was no biggie. “I thought JJ might still be here.” He turned back to Sam. “Did you check under the bed?”

“Hunter’s not like that.” Gabriel objected. It was such a strange thing for Cas to say. Something must really be eating away at him.

“He’s not as innocent as you’d like to think.” Castiel tried to force an unpleasant image from his mind when he thought about Hunter putting his mouth on Dean. It made him feel nauseous again, and he was still so upset about the fight with Grace all his anxieties fell out in a rush of painful memories. “You don’t know that much about him, and I always wondered if he wasn’t just a little karma trip to make up for ditching me.”

“Cas?” Gabriel was staring at Castiel in disbelief, truly believing he had been forgiven a long time ago for sending his brother away. “You really wanna go there?”

“Yeah. Let’s go there.” Dean was suddenly standing behind Castiel in the doorway with his arms folded defensively across his chest. Dean decided to follow him over when Grace refused to emerge from the sanctuary of her bedroom. He couldn’t help but feel a sting of resentment. His relationship with Castiel might still be perfect without the threat of slick temptation.

“That’s not true. I was just trying to help.” Gabriel murmured, familiar guilt almost taking away his voice. “Cas knows I always felt terrible for what happened when he was fifteen. I wanted to educate omegas, so they wouldn’t make the same mistakes.”

“Tell that to your kid.”

“Dean.” Castiel warned gently. He might be feeling painfully insecure right now but there was no need for that. The boy couldn’t help what he was. Castiel knew better than anyone what it felt like to be helpless to the lure of potent musk, and now he felt even worse for digging up the past. Gabriel looked really hurt.

“Sorry.” Dean rubbed one hand over his face. So tightly wound, he was struggling to keep all his emotions in check. “I’m sorry.” Castiel didn’t want Hunter to suffer the same agony he had when he felt so alone, but to Dean he was a cock tease he didn’t know how long he could fight.

“Gabe.” Castiel touched his brother’s arm, hoping the look in his eyes was apology enough. “I didn’t mean that. We think maybe Hunter was just confused because JJ smells so much like Dean. I don’t blame him. He can’t control an instinct like that.” Castiel didn’t want to sound too desperate. Show how much he longed for that to be true. If Dean didn’t want him anymore, he would be back to being a sexual target. No words could ever explain how terrified he was of living on his own again. Someone might abuse him, and then those violent nightmares would become a cold reality.

JJ was already at home when they got back and Grace had obviously given him the third degree the second he stepped through the door. The poor boy looked dazed and confused, with no idea anyone was looking for him. Grace didn’t tell Dean she saw him shimmying out of Hunter’s bedroom window before he legged it back across the lawn. Castiel swallowed down the uncomfortable knot in his throat. He sat the boy down to prepare him for the explicit details of mating an omega. Grace hoped it wasn’t already too late.

Α ✫ Ω

Castiel never mentioned that kiss again. He knew it hadn’t been returned, and Hunter seemed to be doing okay lately. Dean managed to strategically avoid him over the next few weeks, just in case. He had more important things on his mind. Castiel wasn’t getting any better and Dean was really frightened he was losing him. Every time he tried to get him to talk, Cas would sideline him. Cut him off, or pretend he could hear Rosie crying and disappear for an hour. Dean spent most nights staring at Castiel’s back and wondering how it all went so horribly wrong.

Six weeks had passed since his last heat and Gabriel was convinced Hunter was having another one, but it was much worse this time. They never got around to getting any suppressants because he seemed to make such a sudden and unexpected recovery. Now Gabriel was beating himself up over it, and pawing through Dean’s lore book like a man possessed. He had no idea what he was looking for. Sam told Grace a little white lie to get it back and indulge him, but he thought it was probably too soon. He asked Castiel to come over and have a look. Maybe he had experienced something like that himself, or instinctively know what was happening. Gabriel was pacing about at the top of the stairs and chewing on his thumb. He saw Castiel come in behind Sam.

“Thank God you’re here. Hunter got sick again, like actually sick, and now he won’t talk to either of us. Something’s really wrong, Cas. Can you please try and get through to him?” Gabriel begged. “You’re the only one who really understands.”

Castiel slowly scaled the stairs and met him outside Hunter’s bedroom door.

“I’ll do my best, Gabe, but I think I’m probably the last person he wants advice from. I can’t even show my own alpha how much I love him.” Gabriel thought he looked terrible, so consumed by his own problems, he never realized how bad things had got.

“Sorry. I thought you two were doing better.” Castiel shook his head. They hardly spoke to each other anymore and sex was just a fading memory. “Never give up, Cas.” Gabriel felt his stomach sink. His brother looked so sad, it was heartbreaking. “You just gotta hang in there 'til Sammy can figure all this out, okay?”

Castiel didn’t even turn around. Six weeks of nightmares and lonely nights had drained all the life out of him. Sam hadn’t made much progress in all that time, and a constant churning in his stomach didn’t help. Castiel wasn’t sure if he really had a future with Dean, still convinced he was only fit for the scrap heap. Gabriel heard him whisper a broken okay before he headed inside.

Castiel picked up on all the signs before he was in there twenty minutes, and had no idea how he was going to break it to Gabe. He would be devastated.  


Gabriel continued to wear out the floorboards while he waited for Cas to return with a diagnosis. It seemed like he was in there for hours. Castiel finally persuaded Hunter to come out so they could talk. Hiding away in his bedroom wasn’t going to make the bump go away. Sam knew he guessed right when he saw the sympathy in Castiel’s eyes. Now all they had to do was narrow down the sperm donor.

“I’m so sorry, Gabe.” Castiel bit at his lip. Gabriel was rigid with shock when he noticed the familiar swollen curves his brother had worn four times before. Sam knew he had to take charge when he realized Gabriel was practically catatonic.

“You need to tell us who it is.”

“I can’t.” Hunter was staring fearfully at Gabriel, pleading with round blue eyes. “I don’t wanna get him in trouble.” Castiel thought he was going to puke. He could only imagine who he was trying to protect. He had to sit down. Dean couldn’t have picked a more awkward time to follow Castiel over. He knew they were sinking fast, but Dean still couldn’t cope for long without him.

“Hunter.” Sam said firmly, resting a supportive hand on Castiel’s shoulder. He looked like he could fall apart any minute. “Me and Gabe aren’t mad at you. We just need to know, so we can do what’s best for you, okay?”

“But he never goes anywhere without me.” Gabriel’s mouth was just aimlessly flapping up and down while he tried to work out how that could have happened right under his nose. Castiel couldn’t keep it in any longer. His hands were shaking.

“Is that Dean’s baby?”

“What? No.” Hunter burst out. “Oh my God… no. We never - ” He couldn’t manage to force out the word fucked when his dad was staring down at him. Castiel never even realized Dean was there until he heard a strangled gasp behind him. “But it might look like him one day.”

Sam understood completely. Nothing quite says keeping it in the family like banging your cousin.

“Did you and JJ do something you shouldn’t?” Hunter suddenly buried his face in both hands. That was answer enough, and Sam wrapped his arms around his son while he sobbed against his chest. Dean was still gaping at Castiel in disbelief. He knew they really needed to talk, and he wasn’t going in gently this time. He had to set Castiel straight if he could believe for a single second Dean would ever touch anyone else.

“Cas, come with me.” Dean grabbed his arm.

“Dean… let go.”

“No, Cas. We’re gonna talk about this, and we’re gonna talk about it now.” Castiel protested all the way outside, but Dean was having none of it. “I’m done tiptoeing around this shit. If you could think for one minute I would ever do that to you. Cas, I know you’re unhappy. I don’t really understand what I’ve done, or how to fix it, but I would never try and make you stay. I want you to be here with me if it’s really where you want to be.” Dean’s eyes started to sting. “But I care enough to let you go if you don’t love me anymore.”

“Is that what you think?” Castiel gasped breathlessly. “I don’t love you?” He stuttered in a painful breath, suddenly realizing how much Dean was hurting too. Weeks of moping about and feeling like he was no use to anyone started to fade away. Dean had never stopped loving him. “But I… I thought you didn’t want me now I can’t have any more pups.” He stammered. Dean could see heavy drops welling up in his eyes.

“Why the hell would you think that?” At least Dean finally understood why Castiel had been so scared. “I swore never to break any promise I made to you when I put that ring on your finger.” Dean pulled Castiel close. “I’ll always love you.”

“I just thought you needed a young omega to breed. Why Hunter wanted you so bad.”

“Fuck, Cas. You know, we really gotta work on our communication.”

Castiel actually smiled, a fresh bundle of happiness settling inside his heart. The thought of one of their own pups having a baby was just another reason to believe they were always destined to be together. Nothing else mattered. He wiped the tears away.

“Oh, Dean.” Castiel took another deep breath when it hit him. “We’re going to have a grandbaby.” Dean still wasn’t convinced JJ had it in him.

“Shit, Cas. You might wanna be sure. Who gets knocked up after one schtoop and a quick fumble in the dark?” Castiel looked up at him and forced a little cough. Dean obviously needed a subtle reminder about Grace’s conception. “Oh. Yeah.” Dean’s mouth dipped down. “Never mind.”

Sam was watching them through the window. He could almost pinpoint the second Castiel let Dean back in.

“I knew those two idiots would be alright.” Sam could begin to relax now they all understood what Hunter had been going through. It was one hell of a shock, but they would work through it together and he could finally put the laptop away for a bit. “It’ll be alright, Gabe.” He said softly. “At least we can have some peace and quiet tonight.”

“I wouldn’t count on it.” Gabriel came up behind him. He nodded to where Dean and Castiel were standing. He saw Dean tense when his omega leaned in for a cuddle. Dean hesitated, not sure what to expect. Castiel suddenly wrapped both arms around his alpha’s neck and kissed him full on the mouth. They were suddenly making out like teenagers under the back porch. Dean had both hands firmly stuck to his ass. “Think we might have a houseful again tonight. Cas has some making up to do… and I need a stiff drink.” The idea was slowly growing on him. “A baby.” He murmured. Hunter needed their support more than ever. “I never saw that coming.”

“You’re not upset?” Sam asked gently. Gabriel shook his head.

“What’s the point in getting mad with him for not being careful? He didn’t know he was different. I can’t change it, and I never want our boy to feel like he has anything to be ashamed of.”

“Gabe? Sure you didn’t slip on the stairs - hit your head?” Gabriel seemed unnaturally chilled out for something so serious. He hummed a response, but he wasn’t really listening. Gabriel had been putting off something he was itching to do for a while, planning on surprising Sam when the time was right. Now he had another tiny reason to make their bond official.

Dean closed his eyes and hugged his mate so tight, it hurt. It was wonderful to feel Castiel in his arms again.

“You really still want me?” Castiel asked quietly, his face pressed up against Dean’s chest. The excitement of a new baby Winchester had almost pushed everything else out his head, but all the fear was starting to fade. Dean more than proved his loyalty by keeping his dick in his pants.

“More than ever.” Dean kissed him back. “I love you, baby. I love you more than anything.” He nudged Castiel on the shoulder. “Just between you and me, I think I’m pretty damn lucky to have such a gorgeous husband. I’m not exactly a stud anymore.”

“You are to me.” Castiel’s warm smile was back, nestling against Dean’s body when he got dragged even closer. “I’m sure you got a few good knots left in you yet.”

“Believe me, you’re gonna feel every single one.” Dean laughed, cuddling him with a familiar gentleness that had soon returned now he knew Cas trusted him again.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“I’m collecting that one soon as we get home.”

Castiel hummed against his neck. He couldn’t wait to show Dean how happy he was again.

“You passed whatever test this was for us, Dean. I’ll always love you, and I know you’ll always love me.” Dean couldn’t understand why Castiel would ever doubt it, and swore right then he would never let anything damage their bond again.

“Let’s just try and forget about it, Cas. Hunter knows where his heart is.” Dean didn’t care how many decades passed them by. Castiel would always be the most beautiful thing in the world. “Trust me, we’re gonna grow old together kicking and screaming. Fuck gracefully.”

“Right in the ass.” They both knew Hunter had just been confused by so many new sensations, but Castiel still felt really guilty for ever questioning his husband’s affection. “I’m so sorry, Dean. I promise I’ll never doubt you again, no matter how many sexy little omegas drop into our lives.”

“I got my own sexy little omega right here.” Dean licked at his neck and gave his butt a damn good groping. “The only one I’ll ever want.”

“Dean.” Castiel blushed, making a valiant effort to be the cute submissive Dean loved.

“You wanna bet I can keep you up all night?”

“Let me guess - ten dollars?”

“Yeah, Cas.” Dean nodded, a sweet memory pulling his mouth into a wide smile. “I usually do pretty well on those.”

Gabriel seemed unusually nervous, and kept licking at his lips like he was getting ready for something. Fuck it. Now or never. Sam guessed he was just working through some post-trauma stress about the pup until he suddenly dropped to one knee.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Something I should have done a long time ago.” Gabriel replied. He looked so sweet and sincere, balancing precariously at Sam’s feet. Years of dismissing all that alpha crap gone in a heartbeat. There was nothing more important than family.

“Gabe… you don’t have to do that.” Sam gasped, when he saw so much hope sparkle out through those amber eyes.

“I know, but I think we should now. I want to. Besides, I would hate to ever let Dean think he’s outdone me.”

“Good point.”

Dean squeezed Castiel’s ass in surprise when he glanced across the garden.

“Cas? Am I trippin' or is your brother proposing?”

“Oh my.” Castiel exhaled, when he looked over his shoulder. “I think he is.” Gabriel felt himself die a little inside when he realized Dean and Castiel were watching the show. Castiel had one hand clasped over his mouth, while he waited for Sam to give an answer.

“Well?” Gabriel prompted. “It’s getting pretty awkward down here, Sammy.”

“Sorry… yes.” Sam laughed, completely overwhelmed by something so romantic and unexpected. “Yes, Gabe.”

Gabriel didn’t really think Sam would want to marry him after so many years of living together but he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face when he got dragged up for a smooch. He was scarlet when he pulled Sam back inside to the sound of fervent applause.

“Cas?” Dean closed the door behind them. Rosie was already nodding where she was draped over his shoulder. “You don’t think it might be a bit risky? You know - 'cause they’re related.”

“Dean.” Castiel smacked him. “No they’re not. Hunter isn’t blood.” Dean cursed himself for being so stupid, not sure why it even crossed his mind. Sam seemed to think they had some kind of connection, and that was good enough for Dean. He pushed it to the back of his head so he could focus on persuading Castiel to put that hand to better use.

“If you’re gonna slap me, at least get me naked first.” Dean nuzzled his nose along Castiel’s throat, breathing him in like he wanted to make it last forever. They would have the house to themselves as soon as he set Rosie down, and Dean wanted to erase the painful memory of the last time they had sex. Dean knew he would be lucky to last two minutes after so many weeks without it but this wasn’t about him. He was going to show Castiel how much he loved him, satisfy all his desire and make him understand how much he adored every inch of that perfect omega skin.

Castiel looked adorable just sitting on the edge of the bed while he waited for Dean to come out the nursery. Dean could see he was nervous, the promise of an alpha cock surprising him with a wet burst of slick. His fingers trembled while he fumbled to strip off his clothes. Dean stopped him, bending down to settle between his knees before slowly tilting Castiel’s chin up with one finger so he could see the love in Dean’s eyes.

“No, Cas.” Dean smiled. “Let me. This is all for you.” Castiel swallowed hard, trying to relax and just go with it when Dean lifted him up on to the bed. He started with feather-light touches, taking his time and making sure his mate knew there was nothing left to be afraid of. Dean carefully undressed him, admiring every faultless curve when more skin started to show. Castiel gave in to the caress of silky lips when Dean eased him on to his back, dragging his mouth down Castiel’s body and covering every part of him in moist kisses until he reached the dip underneath his stomach. Dean heard a soft gasp above him when he thrust the tip of his tongue even lower. Every muscle tensed. They hadn’t been intimate since Dean lost control, and Castiel was still uneasy.

Dean sensed his hesitation, going down gently when he took Castiel in his mouth and sucked on him until he was wide open and aching to be filled with a knot. Dean was desperate to come but he had to make sure Castiel was swamped with ecstasy before he took anything for himself. He was pinned beneath his alpha, writhing in pleasure with every seductive kiss or the sweep of a searching tongue. Dean reached down and ran one fingertip through his pooling slick with so much tenderness Castiel could feel every inch of it when it slipped inside him. He groaned at the sensation, so different from the untamed sex that hacked away at his confidence and squashed all his emotions. He could feel how hard Dean was when he lifted himself up and rutted against him. Castiel held a shaky breath when he felt Dean nudge against his hole, ready to push in. Hoping his mate would understand the look in his eyes without him having to say it. He wanted them to make love, not get bent over and be fucked like a little bitch.

Dean knew what he was thinking and pulled him up, letting Castiel settle between his thighs so he could set the pace. He took it slowly at first, carefully easing himself open until he could feel Dean slide all the way inside him when he pushed his hips back. Dean held him steady while he started to thrust up, watching Castiel moan his name when he wrapped both legs around his alpha’s waist, head tipped back in intoxicating pleasure. Dean was close after a few brutal jabs. His whole body shuddered uncontrollably when he came, gasping for breath, and stroking Castiel through another orgasm when he let Dean cuddle up behind him. He started to fall asleep in his arms, blissfully content and more in love with his alpha than ever. Castiel wasn’t scared to close his eyes anymore, knowing the nightmares would soon be gone. Leaving him with a peace he would never lose again.

Α ✫ Ω

Hunter was about four months gone when Grace made a little announcement of her own. She decided to leave home and make her own way in the world just after she turned twenty-one, knowing her papa would be alright now he was going to have another puppy to watch over. Gabriel set her up with a little apartment in the city. He had tears in his eyes when they all waved her goodbye from the driveway.

“That girl is gonna go far one day.” He sighed, wiping the back of his hand across his eyes when her cab finally disappeared from view. “I really will miss her, Sam.”

“She’ll be fine, Gabe. It’s anyone who gets in her way you need to worry about.”

Castiel was a sobbing mess, but Dean managed to distract him pretty well. They were so close now he would never again feel the lonely emptiness that always tugged at his soul when they were apart. They hardly spent another minute away from each other, their special bond stronger than ever. All the doubt and fear were gone for good. Castiel wouldn’t leave him alone, and Dean sure as hell wasn’t complaining.

Sam invited JJ to move in permanently to be with Hunter so they could raise their child together. It didn’t really matter seeing as his parents lived right across the lawn, but he knew it would make Gabriel happy. Dean was watching them cuddle up to each other with a secret smile, remembering the first time he saw Castiel with a bump like that. A beautiful memory of how their own love story had started. He hoped his son would one day make a home for his growing family like he had.

“Hey, Gabe.” Dean shook off his daydream. “You got a bit of space over there.” He pointed to a far corner of the garden that was edged with little saplings. It was perfect. “I’ll get him started on the foundations after the baby comes.” He would probably need to catch up on some sleep first.

“Garden’s gonna get a bit full, don’t you think?”

“Nah. Plenty of room for everyone, Gabe. You worry too much.”

Dean winked at Gabriel and left him standing on the step, not sure how anyone could be quite so laid-back after everything that had happened over the last few weeks. It wasn’t really much of a mystery. He had his Cas back, and nothing ever made Dean feel more blessed than holding that man in his arms.

Sam helped Dean walk Castiel home, just to make sure he was alright now one of his baby birds had flown. He soon dried his eyes, and Dean was yawning all the way back. He had run on adrenaline for so long, it hit him hard now Gracie was gone and JJ was settled with Hunter. He could have slept for a month.

“You look like crap, Dean.” Sam grinned at Castiel. The chance to take a shot was too good to pass up. “Maybe you should settle down with Rosie for a little nap. Best not wear yourself out, grandpa.”

“Fuck off, Sam.” Dean gave him a shove, but they both knew he was really happy. Not just about the baby, but he was well and truly off the hook with Cas.

JJ was still standing behind Hunter with both hands resting on his tummy when Sam got home. He saw Gabriel draw in a deep breath when their eyes met. Hunter was getting close, and he wasn’t sure anyone was ready. Sam and Gabriel already pencilled in a date, but they were waiting on the pup to arrive so they could go on honeymoon without the threat of a dash to emergency hanging over them. He looked like he needed a hug.

“Hey.” Sam smiled, wrapping both arms around Gabriel’s waist so he could rest his chin in the dip of one shoulder. “I know they’re young, but they’ll make it.” Gabriel leaned against his mate. Sam understood him so well. “Dean and Cas might be one hell of an act to follow, but they got family behind them.”

“True, and Gracie would come back to kick JJ’s ass if he didn’t step up like he’s supposed to.” Sam hummed into Gabriel’s hair. He didn’t doubt it for a second. “You think he might claim Hunter after the baby comes?”

“That’s for them to decide, Gabe.” Sam kissed the top of his head. “I learned a long time ago to leave Mother Nature well alone. She knows what she’s doing.”

Α ✫ Ω

Hunter gave birth to a little girl a few weeks later. She was the first of a new generation of Winchesters, so JJ wanted to call her Eve. Sam had an inkling she might be early and knew for sure she would be cute, completely lost for words when he held her for the first time. It cast him straight back to the day he took a peek at Grace and was smitten the second those beautiful green eyes blinked up at him. Dean helped them out by sliding JJ a few dollars when he could and Castiel was wonderful with her. The pup adored him. Hunter would have been lost without him, and it made Castiel feel so loved and needed.

Gabriel married Sam on the front lawn one frosty winter morning when Evie was almost three months old, but he couldn’t feel the cold at all when he watched that ring slide on to Sam’s finger. Rosie was all wrapped up, more interested in leaving little footprints pressed into the fresh snow while she skipped around in circles and tried to figure out why everyone was crying. Dean had shaken so many hands he lost count, and went to find a safe place to hide. Rosie beat him to it. She was playing on the swing by the time he found her, kicking at little drifts with her boots. Dean lifted her up so she could sit on his knee. Castiel’s eyes were shining with happy tears when he caught Dean staring at him, and mouthed the words I love you. The whispered promise was almost lost to the crisp air, but Dean heard it in his heart. Rosie soon got bored and jumped off so she could go play with the new puppy. Grace had come back for the ceremony and completely monopolized anything under four. Dean cocked his head back as an invitation and Castiel suddenly looked very shy when he moved closer to take Rosie’s place in his lap.

“You wanna get outta here for a bit?” Dean purred in Castiel’s ear, running the tip of his tongue around every curve. “I need warming up.” Castiel inhaled a breath of chill air when Dean’s hand slid down between his thighs.

“What about Rosie?” Castiel whispered over his shoulder. That wet mouth was dangerously close. Dean looked over at Grace. She smiled and gave her daddy a little nod. She was all grown up and seemed to understand him without even trying, knowing how much they needed to be together. They were going to make it.

“I think we’re covered.” Dean answered quietly. It would take Gabriel ages to wade through his speech notes. No one would miss them for an hour. Dean eased Castiel up and tenderly brushed the snowflakes from his hair. His cheeks were rosy pink, all the years melting seamlessly away when he could feel his alpha’s heart beating against his own. Cas looked more alive than Dean ever remembered and it filled him with happiness. He wound their fingers together and lifted Castiel’s hands to his mouth so he could warm up the tips with a stream of hot breath. “Race ya.” Dean suddenly took off across the garden, laughing while he pulled Castiel along behind him. Running back through the snow hand in hand like two little boys in love.

Α ✫ Ω


End file.
